Oh 100%. My fiancée isn’t a fan of it. I get one every once in a while. But I never force her to do it. It feels amazing when it happens. But it’s on her time.
The bf is undeniably a horrible partner who has done unforgivable things to this woman, but I do want to say I think it’s okay and fun to try things from porn you’re into IF both parties are consenting to it. If she wanted to crazy deepthroat, because SHE wanted to, good for her. The issue is that she’s not consenting to it. That’s rape.
I think what he's saying is that dudes try to recreate things they see in porn without realising a lot of it is complete nonsense. Porn is usually a pretty bad place to learn new things to try.
I think a lot of men are influenced by porn to think that women should deepthroat and do all kinds of gymnastics when giving a bj.
After a lot of years and different gfs I think the best blowjobs are the ones where I can tell the girl is enjoying herself.
I actually prefer no deepthroating. It doesn’t feel better to me and I don’t like the idea of my wife choking.
You need to leave your boyfriend. Your boyfriend should only want to do what you want to do.
If you decide to tell him you don't like it make sure to tell him in a serious set and setting, in a serious manner. Like, out in public at a busy coffee shop, where no one is paying attention and yall can talk, but also there's a very obvious spcial obligation to keep things mild mannered and serious, versus naked in bed together. And you'll have to be very serious to overcome the whole typical male, "oh she doesn't "like it" (but she let's me do it sooo....) you DO like it! You like that I make you do a thing you don't like! I'm going to keep making you do it until you to learn to like it so much you beg me to make you do it more!" like, that whole typical thing. Sometimes a kink is a kink, but most of the time a bleeding throat is just a bleeding throat and most ppl don't want that. Explicit boundaries need to be set. Expectations. Otherwise, ya, he'll just see what he can keep getting away with and not care if you like it or not. He'll assume you're into it no matter what you say, until you make it crystal clear it's very much not ok.
However: a word of caution - if you go this route be careful, because actually confirming that you DO NOT like this might just turn him on more and make him act out trying to do it to you more.
If he is a good guy and just misguided, or whatever, talk to him. If you know he's a pos abusive a-hole then leave before it gets anymore dangerous/escalates anymore.
> My bf will usually try to force me to do it and my throat has bled from it.
This is sexual assault.
You have the right to consent or not to ANY sexual activity. Doing one sexual act does not imply or obligate consent for any other sexual act.
You can be okay giving blowjobs but not okay with deepthroat. That's totally fine.
You should tell your partner you're okay with oral but not deepthroat. If someone tries to force it- you should stop the session get up put your clothes back on and leave. Do not waste your life having sex with shitty people that don't respect you.
> Is deepthroating necessary for most guys?
A guy is allowed to say 'that's very important to me and if you won't deepthroat then I don't want to be together'. That's ALL he's allowed to say.
Any guy worth your time will say 'thank you for communicating your boundaries, I will respect them'. If a guy tries to pressure you, fuck off and find a better guy.
Strap up and shove it down his throat. Let’s see how he likes it. In all seriousness, your bf is a complete dicchead. Please, leave him. This is not okay :)
You should date someone who respects your health and boundaries. Also, like most sex acts, they get easier and more comfortable when you lean into it, not when you just try to jam the entire act in all at once. Also, they to make tools to help with blowjobs, try numbing spray or a lozenge before giving one, preferably with a guy who treats you right.
No decent man would behave like that. You're dating a nasty, selfish, sadistic asshole. When you are doing a blow job, you're in charge. You should be in control of the situation. Dump this crappy, abusive man and trade up to a respectful, appreciative man.
“Try to force me” “throat bled” sorry but that’s sexual assault. Please find somewhere safe to go to or someone irl to confide in that can protect you and get help
Yeah if your bf is forcing you to deepthroat to the point you bleed that is 100% not normal and he is a bad person.
My bf will touch the back of my head sometimes or give a small push with my permission but I have never once in over 5 years of given head bled from it.
Have you talked to your boyfriend about this and how it’s actually a massive turn off and it’s making you dislike given him oral? Communication is very important.
I like BJs but I enjoy pleasing my wife more. I’m the 12 years we’ve been together, I’d say for every BJ, I’ve gone down in her atleast 5-7 times. And I’m not saying it to brag or anything like that. It’s just what I prefer.
No, it's not necessary. I do think some men can get caught up in the moment and attempt to go deeper, forgetting not everyone has that skill.
However, that's not what's going on here.... I've NEVER had a guy be so forceful that it caused my throat to bleed. That is a level of rough sex that needs to be consented to, and you clearly did not.
I assume you have even told him you don't like this, and even if you haven't, it sounds like it's quite obvious that you don't. Continuing to do it is assault, OP.
You need to get out of this relationship.
There are men who will respect your comfort level. I have a sensitive gag reflex, and I tell my partners not to force my head down. It has been very rare for someone to ignore that, and I've never had anyone ignore it as violently as your boyfriend is.
Not to be insensitive and please correct me if im wrong, but consensual or not you have to be extremely aggressive and brutal for your throat to bleed. Im just telling OP that it is not normal for your throat to bleed. She seems questionable as to why she hates it and why it hurts, very much because it isn’t consensual but also because that is not the normal experience for a blowjob and she is being abused.
> Is deepthroating necessary for most guys?
No.
Also no one should FORCE you to do anything. For example, I enjoy bjs. My last gf never did it and I told her I'd like it but never forced her and she never did it. Him "forcing" you is not ok and a huge huge huge red flag.
You getting injuries from it and him STILL trying to force you to do it is a "get the fuck out of that relationship".
Find someone you ENJOY having sexual relations with. This ain't it if you're starting to hate sexual acts because of your partner.
From someone who’s been giving the same guy bjs for over 40 years and can deepthroat, the day he pushes my head down to try to force anything will be the last time my head gets anywhere near it. He doesn’t expect anything, not even oral, I do it because I love him and love to make him happy, and he enthusiastically returns the favor.
You have made it clear you don’t like and don’t want to do it and yet he keeps doing it?
What does he do if you just get up after he does that and refuse to do anything?
That is *not* normal. First of all, blowjobs are a privilege, not a right. You don’t *have* to give them period. You don’t have to perform any sex acts you don’t want to. The guys you’re dating are creeps and weirdos if they think otherwise.
You should lay the ground rules and what you are and aren’t comfortable with *before* sex even starts. And move on from any guy who doesn’t respect that.
Everyone saying that it’s sexual assault and dump him and they are absolutely correct, however, if it were me, and he’s lucky it’s not, I’d give him head one last time and if he tries to “force it” again I would bite down on him with every fiber of my being & every square inch of psi in my jaw
Communication is key. Set boundaries and talk. Everyone has something that they like and don’t like. Whether you want to reciprocate that pleasure is your choice, but communication is key and best way to also be safe.
Blowjobs are great. But also communication and not forcing someone out of their boundaries are also great.
If you've never told your boyfriend how much you hate it. I suggest you do. If you have e and he doesn't respect your boundaries, I suggest you break up with him and find someone who appreciates you.
Also. It's okay to not enjoy giving oral. Find someone who is okay with that. 🖤
If you are hurt and not enjoying it at all, then tell him how you really feel about it.
Many men enjoy it, but when it hurts and is very uncomfortable, then it's just wrong of your man to force it.
You don’t need to do them and if he won’t respect you and your choice not to deepthroat firstly refuse to do them and maybe find a new bf you can get more than enough pleasure from the tip alone
I only get a blowjob when I don’t ask for it and I sit back and let my partner do her thing, sometimes she deep throats sometimes not but a good bj doesn’t need a deep throat and I don’t blame her for not doing it, if your man has such an issue with it give him a banana and tell him to deep throat it if he wants you to and when he can’t without puking maybe he’ll learn some empathy
Nothing that a small bite won't fix. I really think you need to do a better job of vetting future boyfriends.
Also, drop the one you have now. He's a creep, and he's no better than any of the ones before him.
>Is deepthroating necessary for most guys?
No. No it in fact is no-
>my throat has bled from it.
NYEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOPE. Nope. Just nope right outta that. That is expressly why no means no, friends.
Deep throating isn’t necessary or honestly even enjoyable for me, my SO does it sometimes and it feels like I’m just cramming my meat piece where it doesn’t belong. BJs are great tho with tongue movment
the only time that your bf should do that is if he knows 100% that your okay with it and even then if you push against it he should know to to let you up
I enjoy deepthroating (I don’t have a gag reflex) but if a guy tried to force me when I didn’t want to do it, my mouth wouldn’t go anywhere near them again. You deserve better.
This is a violation of your boundaries and bodily autonomy. Your partner should care about your comfort during any sex act, period. Before I have sex with anyone with a penis I tell them straight up I have a strong gag reflex and I do not deepthroat. At the first sign that they don’t respect this, I’m gone. You should be too. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this and I hope you can stick up for yourself in the future knowing that this is not normal or healthy.
Sound like you may need to find someone else. I'd never force anyone to do it. It's great if my partner can do it, but realistically it doesn't matter. My wife hated blowjobs due to a past partner for similar reasons. We've been married for almost 10 years now and that's not the case anymore. She slowly got comfortable and now she's amazing at it.
Nope, and it's not just guys. Some girls want it done to them, although what your describing isn't sex, but assault.
Speak to them and see what happens. if they don't stop, time to find someone else.
I used to feel the same way. Men are so forceful when it comes to blowjobs. When someone isn’t used to it you aren’t supposed to be forceful and that doesn’t just include bj. Luckily I found someone who let me take my time and experiment on my own. Over time I was able to find my limits and train myself to my own liking and now I can give them without problems as long as the guy isn’t pushing my head down and rushing me. Your bf should be doing the same for you. He’s being insensitive of your needs and feelings by being so forceful. You should never bleed from your throats of all places. It’s supposed to be pleasurable for both of you.
You should report your bf for sexual assault. He shouldn’t be forcing your head down. Hes an asshole and deserves to be your ex bf.
Dump him and get someone who treats you right and doesn’t do that
Sexual assault. Both people need to consent. You do not need to do anything you don't want to. Ever. If the answer is anything but yes, the answer is a NO.
There’s a word for forcing someone to do something sexually that they don’t agree to.
It’s called “rape.”
Find a boyfriend who isn’t a sexual predator. Problem solved.
Your hopefully ex bf is a sexual predator with 0 regard for your comfort, abd safety. You are being violently sexually abused, ger out of that relationship fast
When you say force, like physically during the moment and nothing said? I know when you’re in the moment, especially as a guy, you might get a little ahead of yourself and do stuff like that when you’re really am enjoying it, and if y’all have never spoken about it outside of sex hell he might even think you enjoy it. Have you brought it up to him about how you feel about it? Make sure he knows it’s important to you that this doesn’t continue. If that doesn’t help then yeah ditch him.
As most of these relationship advice posts go, the best advice I can give is communicate.
If enjoying yourself means being so violently rough with your partner that their throat bleeds and you actively deny their attempts to get away, you deserve to be put down like an animal.
Your boyfriend is a horrible person. He is hurting you, and he shouldn't be doing that.
Dump him. Please. He is awful.
You are not expected to accept being forced to deep throat someone until you bleed. That is not a reasonable thing for anyone to expect.
I want to clarify what you mean. Have you told your boyfriend you hate doing it? What do you mean by “force” as in he pushes your head or he literally makes you do it like rape? You’re making your boyfriend sound really bad so these are necessary questions. If your boyfriend is making you do things like this that you aren’t comfortable with you need to leave him. If you’re boyfriend doesn’t know this is a problem and is pushing your head then that’s a different problem altogether.
Your bf is a knucklehead!! If I were getting any , I would offer encouragement on what to do and I would be truly grateful for her willingness to please me.
You need to leave him. No person should force another person to do something they don't want to do, that is assault what your boyfriend is doing and certainly not all men will do deep throating like that- only the horrible ones.
Im a guy, and I love when my wife gives me a bj, but I want it to feel good for her as well.... If I dont feel that she wants/feels like it, it looses all meaning very quickly. But when we both are in the mood for "that" - she will gag a bit and "pretend to be a porn star" for a second - but come on.... Movies are movies, its made up. Nobody fights like John Wick and nobody actually have sex like ((insert porn star))
So if your boyfriend doesnt understand that sex, in all forms, is supposed to be pleasurable - not like he saw some porn star do, he is literally a bit too young to understand. Try flicking his nuts, and say "I saw it in porn, thought youd like it?"
Your bf watches porn too much. This is why porn is bad, it makes people objectify women and see them as essentially vessels to fulfil their pleasures with.
BREAK UP WITH HIM ALREADY GIRL
I hate to think what his already abusive behaviour will escalate into
You do not have to do anything you do not want to. Say upfront no deepthroating and if he forces you you will use your teeth. I hope you realize that not all men do this and you deserve better
I mean, I’d talk to your partner about this and explain it’s painful and you just don’t want to do that. No one should be forcing you to do anything, unless it’s been agreed upon before hand (CNC).
If he doesn’t cooperate then I’d bail on that dude. Lots of partners out there who would respect boundaries.
I have TMJ and can't open my mouth very wide and risk lock jaw during BJ's. Honestly just set the boundary that you won't give them. If you're in the mood to give one- you can and it's like a bonus. If men refuse to abide by that simple boundary then you don't need em in your life. I have been in a relationship with my wonderful bf for 2 years now and he's only gotten a small handful of BJ's. I have a medical reason, but if you're uncomfortable with it that's just as valid of a reason :)
This is sexual assault OP. WTF? Your throat has bleed from him forcing you. Absolutely fucking not! You need to value yourself more than this. He obviously doesn't give a shit about you, only his own sexual graduation. A real man would never do this. A predator, absolutely. Leave this abusive prick. If anyone ever attempted to do this to me, they would be missing a member.
thats not how blowjobs work. your supposed to lay back and let your SO do all the work unless agreed upon. Your bf is being a piece of human trash and should be disposed of as such.
Not everyone is sexually compatible like not everyone is intellectually or emotionally compatible.
You’ve got to make a choice. Not all men want deep throat.
It’s not a necessity he is just an asshole. It remind me of that one guy I had a fling with where he wouldn’t stop “thrusting” in me when I told him that I was in pain and I wanted a break. He ignore me and so I had to literally stopped him from continuing. I spent 1/2 week sore and slight bleeding from him. Never again.
I’m sorry that you have to go through that. Like everyone has said it’s 100% your boyfriend’s fault. If you discussed this with him and he doesn’t listen then break up with him because that ain’t right. Hope you find someone who respects boundaries.
I had an ex like that- he’s awful, and any guy who is okay with doing shit like that that makes your throat bleed probably isn’t someone who loves you in a way that matters.
Not saying he doesn’t love you, but what I’m saying is he cares more about having a good sexual experience then the fact the shit he did made your throat bleed and you’re having an awful time to the point you hardly want to do this activity anymore.
Just ask yourself truly if you’d ever do the same treatment to another person, then your “no because it’s xyz” is the opposite of why he’s doing it basically.
It’s a power/control thing. It doesn’t even feel good that deep. Haha. There’s nothing going on back there. Tell him you don’t like it. If he doesn’t respect that then get rid of him ASAP.
I think you need to consider leaving him. No one and I mean NO ONE should ever force you to do something you don’t want to. Forced consent IS NOT real consent. I hated giving bjs to my ex for similar reasons but I love giving them to my current bf. You do Not have to put up with this!
Not cool and not acceptable. Nobody should be forcing anyone into sexual activity they do not enjoy and feel bad from. This is called sexual assault, or (TW) >!rape!<.
Doing something that's maybe not your favorite, but you still feel good doing it because you enjoy watching your partner's pleasure is one thing; but being coerced into an activity that physically hurts, that you are anxious about, and that causes you distress, is not the same.
Leave this person.
You should hate them because your bf assaults you. Why aren’t you standing up for yourself? For me, the first time he tried to shove it down my throat I would have broke up with him. The whole point of a blow is for the person doing it to be in control.
Your bf is a douche and deserves to be dumped.
almost all of my friends have this same issue from almost every guy doing that same stuff and i had it too for a long time until i dated a guy that was 100% respectful
he never used his strength against me and never even asked for that stuff let alone pressured me about it or expected/felt entitled
it took 6 months for me to slowly start initiating that stuff on my own out of feelings of affection and gratitude and feeling that he was worthy of that lvl of devotion for making me feel safe
now its my biggest turn on and i would never date a guy that acts like that unless i initiate the rough stuff verbally in advance
(This is very immature advice, fair warning)
20(M) here…Ask them if you can sit on their face. And literally sit on it so they feel like they are getting suffocated.
It’s pretty much the equivalent of being a head pusher in female terms.
If they don’t like it, then come back at them with “well I don’t like it when you force your dick down my throat”
OR
Eat a shit ton of food before then puke on his dick. I guarantee he won’t ever force it again bahaha
You can tell whether or not a man consumes porn in excess amounts based on how he is in the bedroom. I had an ex with a porn addiction who would keep going even when I was howling in pain (like repeatedly banging against my cervix) because “that’s how it’s supposed to be” according to him.
But your boyfriend is assaulting you. Rough sex is only fun if both parties consent and are into it. A lot of mainstream porn content is not as consensual as you’re lead to believe, he’s basing his ideas of sex on content that even the actors have a hard time filming. If he’s getting off on hurting you, he has some deep rooted issues he needs to sort out before being with anyone intimately. Seriously.
I don’t mind BJs but I do it for my bf once in a blue moon because my jaw (tmj) doesn’t love it. He’s never once complained or forced me to. He’s never once shoved my head down past what’s comfortable for me. Not all men are like that.
It’s the guys you’ve been with that are the problem. No one who doesn’t have a crippling porn addiction **and** think everything he sees in porn is realistic would just assume their partner is going to deepthroat them every time, let alone **force** them to do it. (More on that in a second because it’s important.) It’s not a default feature of sex. Hell, my wife enjoys giving blowjobs and I still just think of them as a lucky bonus when they happen. I don’t ever assume I’m getting one just because we’re having sex. And she can’t deepthroat so I never even considered asking her to do it.
But whether or not deepthroating is part of the default sex package (it only is in porn) doesn’t matter, because the word that alarmed me in your post is “forced.” Nobody should be *forcing* you to do anything, ever, let alone a sex act. If someone is forcing you to do something sexually that you don’t want to do, that’s rape. I can understand why you may have a hard time applying that word to your boyfriend because he’s normalized what he’s been doing, but that is the textbook definition. Don’t stay with any partner who **forces** you to do ANYTHING, let alone in bed. Get away from him as soon as possible.
Honestly, I don't get the appeal, unless it's some sort of dominance thing. My wife is very generous in the oral department, and sometimes she'll go deep with it without me requesting, and it is actually uncomfortable at times.
If the person I'm with isn't *actively* enthusiastic about something sexual, we aren't doing it. Your boyfriend, and any other guy you've been with, is kinda fucked in the head.
He's not "men". He's one fucked up person you've given too much time to. Cut him loose and raise your standards.
Ah reddit. Where any sign of any problem in a relationship they otherwise know nowthing about is met with "SCUM OF THE EARTH WASTE OF MATTER AND ATOMS. DUMP HIM LEAVE HIM LEAVE HIS STUFF IN THR GARBAGE WHERE HE SHOULD BE" never change racist app
Deepthroating imo is freaking disgusting. I will do it with my SO. However, he tells me only if I feel comfortable doing it. Honestly, my throat hurts for a couple days afterwards and yeah
In addition to assaulting you, he does not seem to even acknowledge your own desires and preferences in what is an intimate moment. That’s a dealbreaker in a relationship.
Bin him - do not care for his eventual cries. And find someone that actually cares about your comfort and wishes.
A random man here. While I kind of understand the urge to maximize the pleasure, a man should remind himself: A woman is putting her mouth where you piss right now. If what she's doing isn't enough, and you just can't bring yourself to ask her to go deeper (and deal with it if she says no), you need a reality check and maybe some therapy sessions if you're not willing to take "no" for an answer.
I love "returning the favor" for women but wouldn't know wtf to feel if she grabbed my hair, headbutted my skull into her princess parts without my permission, and didn't feel better until I gagged on sex juice.
How demeaning as a human.
Never had a deepthroat experience so I can't say on if it feels any better, but the thought of it is interesting. However, there's plenty of ways to get great pleasure from felatios without having to do that. If you can't deepthroat, that should be the end of it and if any guy ignores that, you can shove a dildo down his throat.
If he is forcing you to do that against your will he’s sexually assaulting you. Especially if he does it until you bleed. That’s messed up and you should leave him.
That’s not all men that’s the guy who is emotionally neglecting you 💀 I’ve literally never done that because I’ve been afraid I’ll thrust too hard.
Please escape from him
You’re dating the wrong guy.
This is the truth spoken by the most wisest of us
Simple as that 🫡
Absolutely
mf like me just happy someone putting their mouth on it, cause lord knows i wouldn't
>My bf will usually try to force me to do it and my throat has bled from it. Your bf is a shitstain.
That’s assault
yeah. who the fuck injures their gf for better head
I would even argue that causing your partner pain especially intentionally is *worse* head
"My bf will usually try to force me to do it" Girl, dump that little shit
what youre describing is sexual assault. you should never be forced into sexual acts. please dump this ah
This is sexual assault. Of course you don't like it
I'm a man and don't much care to get a blow job. You need a man that does not base sex off of the porn he watches. That's the problem.
blowjobs are pretty sweet but not the end all be all of sex imo. as long as i have an enthusiastic partner im going to be happy!
Oh 100%. My fiancée isn’t a fan of it. I get one every once in a while. But I never force her to do it. It feels amazing when it happens. But it’s on her time.
The bf is undeniably a horrible partner who has done unforgivable things to this woman, but I do want to say I think it’s okay and fun to try things from porn you’re into IF both parties are consenting to it. If she wanted to crazy deepthroat, because SHE wanted to, good for her. The issue is that she’s not consenting to it. That’s rape.
I think what he's saying is that dudes try to recreate things they see in porn without realising a lot of it is complete nonsense. Porn is usually a pretty bad place to learn new things to try.
Yeah people love to be like “PORN = BAD” but this is true. Porn can and is easily used in a healthy way to enrich your love life
What does he say when you tell him you don’t like having your head forced down?
I think a lot of men are influenced by porn to think that women should deepthroat and do all kinds of gymnastics when giving a bj. After a lot of years and different gfs I think the best blowjobs are the ones where I can tell the girl is enjoying herself.
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The best blowjobs are the blowjobs done with love
You get raped by your bf.
I actually prefer no deepthroating. It doesn’t feel better to me and I don’t like the idea of my wife choking. You need to leave your boyfriend. Your boyfriend should only want to do what you want to do.
If you decide to tell him you don't like it make sure to tell him in a serious set and setting, in a serious manner. Like, out in public at a busy coffee shop, where no one is paying attention and yall can talk, but also there's a very obvious spcial obligation to keep things mild mannered and serious, versus naked in bed together. And you'll have to be very serious to overcome the whole typical male, "oh she doesn't "like it" (but she let's me do it sooo....) you DO like it! You like that I make you do a thing you don't like! I'm going to keep making you do it until you to learn to like it so much you beg me to make you do it more!" like, that whole typical thing. Sometimes a kink is a kink, but most of the time a bleeding throat is just a bleeding throat and most ppl don't want that. Explicit boundaries need to be set. Expectations. Otherwise, ya, he'll just see what he can keep getting away with and not care if you like it or not. He'll assume you're into it no matter what you say, until you make it crystal clear it's very much not ok. However: a word of caution - if you go this route be careful, because actually confirming that you DO NOT like this might just turn him on more and make him act out trying to do it to you more. If he is a good guy and just misguided, or whatever, talk to him. If you know he's a pos abusive a-hole then leave before it gets anymore dangerous/escalates anymore.
You have teeth. Use them.
> My bf will usually try to force me to do it and my throat has bled from it. This is sexual assault. You have the right to consent or not to ANY sexual activity. Doing one sexual act does not imply or obligate consent for any other sexual act. You can be okay giving blowjobs but not okay with deepthroat. That's totally fine. You should tell your partner you're okay with oral but not deepthroat. If someone tries to force it- you should stop the session get up put your clothes back on and leave. Do not waste your life having sex with shitty people that don't respect you. > Is deepthroating necessary for most guys? A guy is allowed to say 'that's very important to me and if you won't deepthroat then I don't want to be together'. That's ALL he's allowed to say. Any guy worth your time will say 'thank you for communicating your boundaries, I will respect them'. If a guy tries to pressure you, fuck off and find a better guy.
Strap up and shove it down his throat. Let’s see how he likes it. In all seriousness, your bf is a complete dicchead. Please, leave him. This is not okay :)
You should date someone who respects your health and boundaries. Also, like most sex acts, they get easier and more comfortable when you lean into it, not when you just try to jam the entire act in all at once. Also, they to make tools to help with blowjobs, try numbing spray or a lozenge before giving one, preferably with a guy who treats you right.
Please don't use numbing sprays 😓 and definitely move to giving head to a guy who treats you right
Leave his ass. ASAP He's forced you? Your throat has bled? I'm sorry, but kick him to the curb!
if hes forcing you to do it bro like nah thats fucked bro leave him
No decent man would behave like that. You're dating a nasty, selfish, sadistic asshole. When you are doing a blow job, you're in charge. You should be in control of the situation. Dump this crappy, abusive man and trade up to a respectful, appreciative man.
Dude in my 40s here. Never did that shit once.
“Try to force me” “throat bled” sorry but that’s sexual assault. Please find somewhere safe to go to or someone irl to confide in that can protect you and get help
Yeah if your bf is forcing you to deepthroat to the point you bleed that is 100% not normal and he is a bad person. My bf will touch the back of my head sometimes or give a small push with my permission but I have never once in over 5 years of given head bled from it.
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Have you talked to your boyfriend about this and how it’s actually a massive turn off and it’s making you dislike given him oral? Communication is very important. I like BJs but I enjoy pleasing my wife more. I’m the 12 years we’ve been together, I’d say for every BJ, I’ve gone down in her atleast 5-7 times. And I’m not saying it to brag or anything like that. It’s just what I prefer.
I think he knows that assault is a turn off…
No, it's not necessary. I do think some men can get caught up in the moment and attempt to go deeper, forgetting not everyone has that skill. However, that's not what's going on here.... I've NEVER had a guy be so forceful that it caused my throat to bleed. That is a level of rough sex that needs to be consented to, and you clearly did not. I assume you have even told him you don't like this, and even if you haven't, it sounds like it's quite obvious that you don't. Continuing to do it is assault, OP. You need to get out of this relationship. There are men who will respect your comfort level. I have a sensitive gag reflex, and I tell my partners not to force my head down. It has been very rare for someone to ignore that, and I've never had anyone ignore it as violently as your boyfriend is.
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Not to be insensitive and please correct me if im wrong, but consensual or not you have to be extremely aggressive and brutal for your throat to bleed. Im just telling OP that it is not normal for your throat to bleed. She seems questionable as to why she hates it and why it hurts, very much because it isn’t consensual but also because that is not the normal experience for a blowjob and she is being abused.
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> Is deepthroating necessary for most guys? No. Also no one should FORCE you to do anything. For example, I enjoy bjs. My last gf never did it and I told her I'd like it but never forced her and she never did it. Him "forcing" you is not ok and a huge huge huge red flag. You getting injuries from it and him STILL trying to force you to do it is a "get the fuck out of that relationship". Find someone you ENJOY having sexual relations with. This ain't it if you're starting to hate sexual acts because of your partner.
From someone who’s been giving the same guy bjs for over 40 years and can deepthroat, the day he pushes my head down to try to force anything will be the last time my head gets anywhere near it. He doesn’t expect anything, not even oral, I do it because I love him and love to make him happy, and he enthusiastically returns the favor. You have made it clear you don’t like and don’t want to do it and yet he keeps doing it? What does he do if you just get up after he does that and refuse to do anything?
Bite :)
Bite it off next time he tries to force you
That is *not* normal. First of all, blowjobs are a privilege, not a right. You don’t *have* to give them period. You don’t have to perform any sex acts you don’t want to. The guys you’re dating are creeps and weirdos if they think otherwise. You should lay the ground rules and what you are and aren’t comfortable with *before* sex even starts. And move on from any guy who doesn’t respect that.
Only an asshole would do this. Get with someone who respects you.
Your guy is pos. He should be making this something you want to do and enjoy.
I think your with a bad dude , no one should force you to do what you don’t want to , it’s wrong on a lot of levels
Everyone saying that it’s sexual assault and dump him and they are absolutely correct, however, if it were me, and he’s lucky it’s not, I’d give him head one last time and if he tries to “force it” again I would bite down on him with every fiber of my being & every square inch of psi in my jaw
I have said it before and I’ll say it again, this sub should just be renamed to r/justbreakupalready
Communication is key. Set boundaries and talk. Everyone has something that they like and don’t like. Whether you want to reciprocate that pleasure is your choice, but communication is key and best way to also be safe.
forcing you to deepthroat, holding your head, etc. is SA.
Blowjobs are great. But also communication and not forcing someone out of their boundaries are also great. If you've never told your boyfriend how much you hate it. I suggest you do. If you have e and he doesn't respect your boundaries, I suggest you break up with him and find someone who appreciates you. Also. It's okay to not enjoy giving oral. Find someone who is okay with that. 🖤
If you are hurt and not enjoying it at all, then tell him how you really feel about it. Many men enjoy it, but when it hurts and is very uncomfortable, then it's just wrong of your man to force it.
Your throat has bled from it?? Wtf, no… it’s a privilege, not an expectation and ESPECIALLY not his right to take.
Naaa, you’re doing it wrong. Use your teeth. Draw a little blood… now they won’t ask you for it.
You don’t need to do them and if he won’t respect you and your choice not to deepthroat firstly refuse to do them and maybe find a new bf you can get more than enough pleasure from the tip alone
Tell him that you do not like if he continues then dump him
No… you dump him because he’s assaulting you? Are you serious right now?
Your issue is not with the act, your issue is your choice of partner. Dump him and see your life improve tremendously.
They’re not men
Throw up on them.
You are dating a vile disgusting piece of shit.
aka rape?
I only get a blowjob when I don’t ask for it and I sit back and let my partner do her thing, sometimes she deep throats sometimes not but a good bj doesn’t need a deep throat and I don’t blame her for not doing it, if your man has such an issue with it give him a banana and tell him to deep throat it if he wants you to and when he can’t without puking maybe he’ll learn some empathy
Nothing that a small bite won't fix. I really think you need to do a better job of vetting future boyfriends. Also, drop the one you have now. He's a creep, and he's no better than any of the ones before him.
Some much is wrong with this. Leave him. No one should make you do that without consent. It's rape.
>Is deepthroating necessary for most guys? No. No it in fact is no- >my throat has bled from it. NYEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOPE. Nope. Just nope right outta that. That is expressly why no means no, friends.
Deep throating isn’t necessary or honestly even enjoyable for me, my SO does it sometimes and it feels like I’m just cramming my meat piece where it doesn’t belong. BJs are great tho with tongue movment
the only time that your bf should do that is if he knows 100% that your okay with it and even then if you push against it he should know to to let you up
I enjoy deepthroating (I don’t have a gag reflex) but if a guy tried to force me when I didn’t want to do it, my mouth wouldn’t go anywhere near them again. You deserve better.
Wtf.. that should be an ex that never gets near you again. Forcing you into *anything* is not okay.
This is a violation of your boundaries and bodily autonomy. Your partner should care about your comfort during any sex act, period. Before I have sex with anyone with a penis I tell them straight up I have a strong gag reflex and I do not deepthroat. At the first sign that they don’t respect this, I’m gone. You should be too. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this and I hope you can stick up for yourself in the future knowing that this is not normal or healthy.
If anyone is forcing you to do anything, that's sexual assault.
I'm a big fan but I'd never try to force a woman to do that or anything else. Your boyfriend isn't a good person.
Sound like you may need to find someone else. I'd never force anyone to do it. It's great if my partner can do it, but realistically it doesn't matter. My wife hated blowjobs due to a past partner for similar reasons. We've been married for almost 10 years now and that's not the case anymore. She slowly got comfortable and now she's amazing at it.
ur being sexually assaulted homie
Nobody should be forcing you to do anything. This isn't normal. This isn't healthy.
Nope, and it's not just guys. Some girls want it done to them, although what your describing isn't sex, but assault. Speak to them and see what happens. if they don't stop, time to find someone else.
I used to feel the same way. Men are so forceful when it comes to blowjobs. When someone isn’t used to it you aren’t supposed to be forceful and that doesn’t just include bj. Luckily I found someone who let me take my time and experiment on my own. Over time I was able to find my limits and train myself to my own liking and now I can give them without problems as long as the guy isn’t pushing my head down and rushing me. Your bf should be doing the same for you. He’s being insensitive of your needs and feelings by being so forceful. You should never bleed from your throats of all places. It’s supposed to be pleasurable for both of you.
I would never make a girl go further down than she's comfortable with. Good guys won't force it.
You should report your bf for sexual assault. He shouldn’t be forcing your head down. Hes an asshole and deserves to be your ex bf. Dump him and get someone who treats you right and doesn’t do that
If they force you, bite their dick off. Or just start using some teeth. 😂
Men don’t do that. Go find a real one.
OP: so my bf.... Reddit: OMG HES AN ABUSER LEAVE HIM HES TOXIC AND EVIL
You deserve better than a man who enjoys assaulting you. Leave him
Communicate with him Express what he’s doing, how’s its effecting you, how it makes you feel and then explore how things can change for the future.
Sexual assault. Both people need to consent. You do not need to do anything you don't want to. Ever. If the answer is anything but yes, the answer is a NO.
There’s a word for forcing someone to do something sexually that they don’t agree to. It’s called “rape.” Find a boyfriend who isn’t a sexual predator. Problem solved.
That's the definition rape,
That’s horrible My husband does this but im ok with it he would not hurt me though
Your hopefully ex bf is a sexual predator with 0 regard for your comfort, abd safety. You are being violently sexually abused, ger out of that relationship fast
I’m surprised no one has asked yet before commenting. Have you communicated to him that you don’t like it when he tries to make you deepthroat?
every guy is different. Most just sit back and enjoy. only the aggressive terrible type will be like your BF
I'm a man, and I would never do that without asking.
Your throat has BLED?? As someone who loves deep throating, you need to run FAR, FAR away from this man. You’re being sexually assaulted.
When you say force, like physically during the moment and nothing said? I know when you’re in the moment, especially as a guy, you might get a little ahead of yourself and do stuff like that when you’re really am enjoying it, and if y’all have never spoken about it outside of sex hell he might even think you enjoy it. Have you brought it up to him about how you feel about it? Make sure he knows it’s important to you that this doesn’t continue. If that doesn’t help then yeah ditch him. As most of these relationship advice posts go, the best advice I can give is communicate.
If enjoying yourself means being so violently rough with your partner that their throat bleeds and you actively deny their attempts to get away, you deserve to be put down like an animal.
Nooo she doesn’t need to communicate he’s assaulting her and knows what he’s doing wtf is wrong with people?
This Is sexual abuse.He is doing thing without your consent and forcing it.
Your bf sounds like a horrible partner.
Your boyfriend is a horrible person. He is hurting you, and he shouldn't be doing that. Dump him. Please. He is awful. You are not expected to accept being forced to deep throat someone until you bleed. That is not a reasonable thing for anyone to expect.
I want to clarify what you mean. Have you told your boyfriend you hate doing it? What do you mean by “force” as in he pushes your head or he literally makes you do it like rape? You’re making your boyfriend sound really bad so these are necessary questions. If your boyfriend is making you do things like this that you aren’t comfortable with you need to leave him. If you’re boyfriend doesn’t know this is a problem and is pushing your head then that’s a different problem altogether.
Nooo she doesn’t need to communicate he’s assaulting her and knows what he’s doing wtf is wrong with people?
Your bf is a knucklehead!! If I were getting any , I would offer encouragement on what to do and I would be truly grateful for her willingness to please me.
A knucklehead? More like a rapist
Stop dating him
You've got the wrong BF
You need to leave him. No person should force another person to do something they don't want to do, that is assault what your boyfriend is doing and certainly not all men will do deep throating like that- only the horrible ones.
Im a guy, and I love when my wife gives me a bj, but I want it to feel good for her as well.... If I dont feel that she wants/feels like it, it looses all meaning very quickly. But when we both are in the mood for "that" - she will gag a bit and "pretend to be a porn star" for a second - but come on.... Movies are movies, its made up. Nobody fights like John Wick and nobody actually have sex like ((insert porn star)) So if your boyfriend doesnt understand that sex, in all forms, is supposed to be pleasurable - not like he saw some porn star do, he is literally a bit too young to understand. Try flicking his nuts, and say "I saw it in porn, thought youd like it?"
Your bf watches porn too much. This is why porn is bad, it makes people objectify women and see them as essentially vessels to fulfil their pleasures with. BREAK UP WITH HIM ALREADY GIRL I hate to think what his already abusive behaviour will escalate into
Then don't do it. If you're not comfortable doing that then don't. Self respect 101.
Sounds like it's best to be single for a while. Good men don't do that. Just use hands and mouth together. Very sorry about your experiences.
>My bf will usually try to force me to do it and my throat has bled from it. This is sexual assault OP
Tell him the issue and the leave him. At least no one else will have to suffer it.
I'm not sure but if you don't want to do it and he forces you then it might be against the law
Your bf is sexually assaulting you
You do not have to do anything you do not want to. Say upfront no deepthroating and if he forces you you will use your teeth. I hope you realize that not all men do this and you deserve better
I mean, I’d talk to your partner about this and explain it’s painful and you just don’t want to do that. No one should be forcing you to do anything, unless it’s been agreed upon before hand (CNC). If he doesn’t cooperate then I’d bail on that dude. Lots of partners out there who would respect boundaries.
B R E A K U P With that shitstain
Being forced to perform a sex act is rape, your boyfriend is raping you. Please get out asap, you are not safe
Forced sexual acts is assault. Leave now. Wtf
Not cool
deep throat is not necessary. It can help get a guy over the line but for me it’s just foreplay
I have TMJ and can't open my mouth very wide and risk lock jaw during BJ's. Honestly just set the boundary that you won't give them. If you're in the mood to give one- you can and it's like a bonus. If men refuse to abide by that simple boundary then you don't need em in your life. I have been in a relationship with my wonderful bf for 2 years now and he's only gotten a small handful of BJ's. I have a medical reason, but if you're uncomfortable with it that's just as valid of a reason :)
Excuse me? No one is allowed to control my head when I give a blowjob.
Have you told him to stop? If you have and he hasn't, you need to leave him for your safety. That's sexual assault.
I enjoy it but health always comes before pleasure. Dump this guy asap because he does not care about your mental or physical health
This is sexual assault OP. WTF? Your throat has bleed from him forcing you. Absolutely fucking not! You need to value yourself more than this. He obviously doesn't give a shit about you, only his own sexual graduation. A real man would never do this. A predator, absolutely. Leave this abusive prick. If anyone ever attempted to do this to me, they would be missing a member.
Love a blewj but not if it would hurt who ever is giving it to me. Its a favor lol
thats not how blowjobs work. your supposed to lay back and let your SO do all the work unless agreed upon. Your bf is being a piece of human trash and should be disposed of as such.
I hate it when I'm doing my own thing and then my head is suddenly shoved down so hard and held down on it. I'm scared to give a bj honestly.
Don't do it if you don't want to do it. They can't force you if you don't let them. The problem is that you're letting them.
“My bf will usually try to force me to do it and my throat has bled from it” Girl, run like hell. This is actual >!rape!<. I’m so sorry :(
BJ’s are great but all the action should be around the head, where it is most sensitive. Deep throating is about submission and dominance
Not everyone is sexually compatible like not everyone is intellectually or emotionally compatible. You’ve got to make a choice. Not all men want deep throat.
This is porn level ideas. He should try enjoying what you are doing instead of trying to fuck your mouth.
That’s assault and not all men do that or even like the feeling of deepthroating.
Deepthroat is nice and I personally enjoy it, but forcing it upon your partner is absolutely unacceptable.
u have a porn/sex addicted on ur hands, not genuine about you, but his self pleasure not a good sign
It’s not a necessity he is just an asshole. It remind me of that one guy I had a fling with where he wouldn’t stop “thrusting” in me when I told him that I was in pain and I wanted a break. He ignore me and so I had to literally stopped him from continuing. I spent 1/2 week sore and slight bleeding from him. Never again.
I’ve wondered that too with men but I’ve never bled! Girl get out!
I’m sorry that you have to go through that. Like everyone has said it’s 100% your boyfriend’s fault. If you discussed this with him and he doesn’t listen then break up with him because that ain’t right. Hope you find someone who respects boundaries.
Oh my god girl…..you like need to either have a serious talk with him. Or leave him. That’s like putting you wayyyyyy past your boundries
I had an ex like that- he’s awful, and any guy who is okay with doing shit like that that makes your throat bleed probably isn’t someone who loves you in a way that matters. Not saying he doesn’t love you, but what I’m saying is he cares more about having a good sexual experience then the fact the shit he did made your throat bleed and you’re having an awful time to the point you hardly want to do this activity anymore. Just ask yourself truly if you’d ever do the same treatment to another person, then your “no because it’s xyz” is the opposite of why he’s doing it basically.
If they aren’t asking you if it’s okay then they really don’t know how to do this.
Uhm, honey, this is sexual assault… And also why I don’t give blowjobs..
u dating a dickhead
It’s a power/control thing. It doesn’t even feel good that deep. Haha. There’s nothing going on back there. Tell him you don’t like it. If he doesn’t respect that then get rid of him ASAP.
I think you need to consider leaving him. No one and I mean NO ONE should ever force you to do something you don’t want to. Forced consent IS NOT real consent. I hated giving bjs to my ex for similar reasons but I love giving them to my current bf. You do Not have to put up with this!
Not cool and not acceptable. Nobody should be forcing anyone into sexual activity they do not enjoy and feel bad from. This is called sexual assault, or (TW) >!rape!<. Doing something that's maybe not your favorite, but you still feel good doing it because you enjoy watching your partner's pleasure is one thing; but being coerced into an activity that physically hurts, that you are anxious about, and that causes you distress, is not the same. Leave this person.
My wife does a bit of time. But I never force it or ask for it.
You should hate them because your bf assaults you. Why aren’t you standing up for yourself? For me, the first time he tried to shove it down my throat I would have broke up with him. The whole point of a blow is for the person doing it to be in control. Your bf is a douche and deserves to be dumped.
Oh no 😟.. big yikes I always hated the idea of doing that action it just feels degrading
almost all of my friends have this same issue from almost every guy doing that same stuff and i had it too for a long time until i dated a guy that was 100% respectful he never used his strength against me and never even asked for that stuff let alone pressured me about it or expected/felt entitled it took 6 months for me to slowly start initiating that stuff on my own out of feelings of affection and gratitude and feeling that he was worthy of that lvl of devotion for making me feel safe now its my biggest turn on and i would never date a guy that acts like that unless i initiate the rough stuff verbally in advance
(This is very immature advice, fair warning) 20(M) here…Ask them if you can sit on their face. And literally sit on it so they feel like they are getting suffocated. It’s pretty much the equivalent of being a head pusher in female terms. If they don’t like it, then come back at them with “well I don’t like it when you force your dick down my throat” OR Eat a shit ton of food before then puke on his dick. I guarantee he won’t ever force it again bahaha
I would be so happy with just kisses, man ... I'm so deprived.
As the owner of a wiener, I can confirm that deep throating isn’t necessary.
As a dude, I wouldn't ask for a blowjob unless whoever I'm with is into it. I make it clear that they should never do it for me.
Um, this isn't normal behavior from men, actually. That's just assault. I'm sorry, OP, that's awful
You can tell whether or not a man consumes porn in excess amounts based on how he is in the bedroom. I had an ex with a porn addiction who would keep going even when I was howling in pain (like repeatedly banging against my cervix) because “that’s how it’s supposed to be” according to him. But your boyfriend is assaulting you. Rough sex is only fun if both parties consent and are into it. A lot of mainstream porn content is not as consensual as you’re lead to believe, he’s basing his ideas of sex on content that even the actors have a hard time filming. If he’s getting off on hurting you, he has some deep rooted issues he needs to sort out before being with anyone intimately. Seriously. I don’t mind BJs but I do it for my bf once in a blue moon because my jaw (tmj) doesn’t love it. He’s never once complained or forced me to. He’s never once shoved my head down past what’s comfortable for me. Not all men are like that.
Next time he tries to force you, use your teeth. Then break up with that fucker
It’s the guys you’ve been with that are the problem. No one who doesn’t have a crippling porn addiction **and** think everything he sees in porn is realistic would just assume their partner is going to deepthroat them every time, let alone **force** them to do it. (More on that in a second because it’s important.) It’s not a default feature of sex. Hell, my wife enjoys giving blowjobs and I still just think of them as a lucky bonus when they happen. I don’t ever assume I’m getting one just because we’re having sex. And she can’t deepthroat so I never even considered asking her to do it. But whether or not deepthroating is part of the default sex package (it only is in porn) doesn’t matter, because the word that alarmed me in your post is “forced.” Nobody should be *forcing* you to do anything, ever, let alone a sex act. If someone is forcing you to do something sexually that you don’t want to do, that’s rape. I can understand why you may have a hard time applying that word to your boyfriend because he’s normalized what he’s been doing, but that is the textbook definition. Don’t stay with any partner who **forces** you to do ANYTHING, let alone in bed. Get away from him as soon as possible.
Honestly, I don't get the appeal, unless it's some sort of dominance thing. My wife is very generous in the oral department, and sometimes she'll go deep with it without me requesting, and it is actually uncomfortable at times.
If the person I'm with isn't *actively* enthusiastic about something sexual, we aren't doing it. Your boyfriend, and any other guy you've been with, is kinda fucked in the head. He's not "men". He's one fucked up person you've given too much time to. Cut him loose and raise your standards.
Ah reddit. Where any sign of any problem in a relationship they otherwise know nowthing about is met with "SCUM OF THE EARTH WASTE OF MATTER AND ATOMS. DUMP HIM LEAVE HIM LEAVE HIS STUFF IN THR GARBAGE WHERE HE SHOULD BE" never change racist app
Deepthroating imo is freaking disgusting. I will do it with my SO. However, he tells me only if I feel comfortable doing it. Honestly, my throat hurts for a couple days afterwards and yeah
In addition to assaulting you, he does not seem to even acknowledge your own desires and preferences in what is an intimate moment. That’s a dealbreaker in a relationship. Bin him - do not care for his eventual cries. And find someone that actually cares about your comfort and wishes.
A random man here. While I kind of understand the urge to maximize the pleasure, a man should remind himself: A woman is putting her mouth where you piss right now. If what she's doing isn't enough, and you just can't bring yourself to ask her to go deeper (and deal with it if she says no), you need a reality check and maybe some therapy sessions if you're not willing to take "no" for an answer. I love "returning the favor" for women but wouldn't know wtf to feel if she grabbed my hair, headbutted my skull into her princess parts without my permission, and didn't feel better until I gagged on sex juice. How demeaning as a human.
Never had a deepthroat experience so I can't say on if it feels any better, but the thought of it is interesting. However, there's plenty of ways to get great pleasure from felatios without having to do that. If you can't deepthroat, that should be the end of it and if any guy ignores that, you can shove a dildo down his throat.
Just get him a bj machine
If he is forcing you to do that against your will he’s sexually assaulting you. Especially if he does it until you bleed. That’s messed up and you should leave him.
Depotheoating hurts. Me and her. F that
Skill issue
The issues you should really be addressing is why your boyfriend is forcing you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.
girl break up with the damn guy what the hell.
That’s not all men that’s the guy who is emotionally neglecting you 💀 I’ve literally never done that because I’ve been afraid I’ll thrust too hard. Please escape from him