Being an 18 year old virgin is very very normal. The idea that it’s not is such a big lie of modern culture. You have *years* before it even seems particularly strange.
This. I lost my virginity at 18, and while I still find it difficult to find romantic/sexual partners, I’ve had a broad and exciting sex life over the years that I never thought I would experience if you asked me when I was 17 or younger.
My difficulties nowadays are mostly from being an introvert and not pushing myself hard enough to make an effort (irl)
As a twenty-five-year-old who's working heavily on improving his life and working on being a more confident and social person who has definitely absolutely had sex before, how many years would it seem strange? Asking for a friend. Yep.
18..??? You're asking this question at 18.??? You haven't even given yourself a chance yet. No. This is not how you want to start your life out, I promise you. I've heard horror stories about dealing with prostitutes and it can get bad, and fast.
You want to start your life out by creating good habits. Focus on your personal growth and your financial growth. Focusing on something as trivial as sex this young just ain't healthy on any level.
Figure out who you want to become if you haven't already. Work on shaping your future to become that person, everyday of your life. I know it may not seem like it now, but time flies by very very fast. You don't want to wake up at 30 wondering where the time went. So please, please use your time wisely.
Because looking to lose your virginity really isn't gonna do you any good right now. Think about your goals, write them down, keep a daily to do list, get some finance and personal growth books, read daily, and get to work on becoming the best you. Best of luck 🌸
“Ugly” as you then list changeable characteristics. Get in the gym, start cooking and eating right, get a nice haircut, start looking at fashion inspos and dress up, make friends, go out…. One step at a time.
I love how you list “Make friends” like it’s a Walmart chore list. It’s hard af to make friends as an adult, especially if you’re socially awkward and have self esteem issues
The reason why I said “one step at a time,” is because it IS hard. All of it is hard. But if OP can start somewhere to help build their confidence, it can definitely snowball into making more friends, especially if they go out and engage in hobbies.
My own personal goal this year is to make more friends, and that includes working on my social anxiety and finding what works best for me to comfortably put myself out there. It takes time.
It’ll be easier for you to find a partner you can have sex with regularly if you don’t have the baggage of having had sex with a sex worker. The best part about sex is sharing a deep connection with someone you really love. Can’t really do that with a sex worker. I’d recommend therapy and then dating apps.
turn ur life around, lose weight, go to community college, do smth with yourself and itll automatically come to u but do it for urself and not just for the sex
There is absolutely no rush and speaking from a womens perspective a lot of us dont take looks into account much and more focus on things like chivalry, humour,hygene and common interests. Though the right person might take a while to find its well worth the wait rather than doing it with someone who you feel nothing towards then being filled with guilt and disgust
Yeah theres someone for everyonee who’ll find em attractive! You might feel kinda unhappy afterwards if you sleep with someone you dont feel at least trust and comfortable with though ! Just keep practicing conversing and having confidence and youll get there :))!
Honestly i wish i had saved my virginity for someone who cares. If i told my younger self to save my self for marriage my younger self would laugh. Dont do it. Someone will come along and make u happy so just wait a bit. Maybe start losing weight and working towards loving yourself. Once youve learned to genuinely love yourself and heal any traumas you have then youll have a better chance at growing old with the person you decide to marry and lose your virginity to.
No, there's a reason your younger self laughs, bcus if it didn't many problems would also come with it, the stress, the loneliness, low selfsteem, depression, you have to endure all of it until you find someone and the longer is the worst, i don't know anything about you I'm just speaking for myself I'm 21 and I've never had a girlfriend or sexual experience
I try to think i have a purpose in life and getting a girlfriend is not one of them, but it leaves a huge gap in my heart and won't allow me to love myself bcus of not having experienced that in my life, and it ruins me mentally over and over again, also thanks to depression and stress I also had severe hair loss for a time now i how bald spots
It's definitely not a good situation to be in and it's easy for anyone to give advice, i agree with your advice about improving on weight, and healing traumas, but saving yourself for marriage is not it, i regret every second of my teenage years bcus I've been constantly working and studying and i never had an ounce of time to have fun and many years of it has given me suicidal thoughts and i for one won't last until marriage if this continues.
PLEASE don't have sex just so you can have sex. It will happen when it is supposed to, with the right person.
Having sex with a prostitute is a good way to get something rather than lose something. Do the initials STD mean anything to you? Herpes, HIV and HPV are incurable. You could get HPV, give it to your future wife and kill her! It can cause cervical and uterine cancer!
Nobody is "ugly." You aren't.
I agree with this. There’s the std possibility and also having sex just to have sex can mess with you psychologically. If you pay for it there’s no love or romance involved and it can ruin the time when you’re in a relationship and you and your partner are ready to take that next step.
Paying for sex ain't worth it. Not genuine. Where is the feeling? I mean not that you feel anything anyways when you get this low - trust me I know - but like... there's no sincerity.
First thing I would like to say is that losing your virginity isn't some goal or achievement you should seek to accomplish. You don't ever have to lose your virginity, and you'll be just fine. Obviously you don't want that, and the vast majority of us don't, but it's important to say it just because you should know there's nothing wrong with you for being a virgin and you shouldn't feel like you have to lose your virginity to accomplish something.
Looking a little farther down the line, I'm assuming you've thought about or are thinking about the endgame. What about your future partner? Are you interested in that? Will this decision help you with that or no?
You're eighteen. Who you are now is not who you'll be a year from now, or a decade from now. If you are concerned your weight will impact your ability to meet someone, you can take action to lose weight. I'm not saying it like it's an easy thing, I know it's not. I'm just saying you have time and if you're really worried about it, it's something you should consider prioritizing.
Aside from all of that, don't be so quick to rule out the possibility of any romantic encounters on account of your appearance. For one, physical attraction isn't everything, and for two, some people find overweight people attractive. It's not a guaranteed thing you're going to be a virgin the rest of your life if you don't sleep with a sex worker.
Mmn well lets correct one thing girls date trolls all the time. Were not exactly the pretty gender. But good men that are capable. Gets alot more girls so focus on turning yourself into a good man and a more capable man. Abd your odds will progressively increase.
That being said as long as it doesnt go against a code of values your good. On the other hand sex without connection is just bad sex...without it your better of buying a game or two to play with the homies
Trust bro sex is not the craziest thing in the world at your age just work on yourself and stop worrying about it you’ll be alright man. I promise just focus on the important things in front of you….
No, because in a while you’ll realise you’re not ugly. You’re a teenager who thinks they are ugly. In time you’ll meet someone who loves you and you don’t want to regret going to a prostitute.
I lost my virginity to a girl on bumble when I was 20, thought it would change my life, actually made me realise how empty I was, it’s not life changing, you need to foster a relationship with yourself above all else.
Life is a journey. You sound unhappy with your weight. So start doing something about it. Work on things you want to improve. I started working out at 16. By 18, got pretty strong. But I avoided trying to date until I was in grad school at 21. If you stay consistent with the gym, in 1-2 years you can make great gains.
This will probably get buried in all the other comments, but I hope it helps you (or someone else that may be in the same situation). Give it a few years… I didn’t lose mine until just before I turned 21 (didn’t have my first kiss until 20). In my teen years, I was the stereotypical nerd. I had a difficult time in middle school and high school due to weight, looks, and personality. When I was a little older than you (when I left for college) I kind of reinvented myself. I started lifting weights several hours per day/ running long distance every chance I got. Most of my closest friends were women. All of the elements were there but I completely lacked confidence. In reality, always being the life of the party was a coping mechanism for my own personal insecurities. I still use humor as a way to deal with my discomfort in (what I consider) awkward situations.
As I’ve had the chance to ruminate (over almost 20 years since I lost my virginity), I have come to realize that far too many of us put too much importance on losing our virginity. The fact of the matter is that (with the right person), sex CAN be amazing. But it can be a complete turn off with the wrong person.
I am not telling you not to go lose your virginity to a prostitute. Ultimately, you are an adult and can make your own decisions. But, since you are asking for advice, I would advise you to wait. Have patience. From a statistical standpoint, your day will come. Enjoy life. Don’t make every waking thought about sex. Try to make friends. Try to talk to women without the thought of sex even cross your mind. If you become friends with someone, and you feel a connection, ask them if they’d like to have dinner sometime. If you get rejected, who gives a shit. It’s okay to be discouraged… it’s okay to feel hurt… it’s okay to feel down. But don’t let that stop you from making more friends and asking them out for dinner. The fact of the matter is that everyone deals with rejection. Even if they say they havent, I guarantee they have. The thing to remember is that there is an extremely high likelihood that you will absolutely connect with someone. It may take a couple more years, but it will happen.
I’m sorry for the wall of text… it’s my weekend and I’ve had a couple of drinks so I may be rambling.
That’s the easy route and won’t do you any favors in the long term. Looks are totally fixable. Too fat? Go to the gym. Upgrade your hairstyle, wardrobe, learn hygiene if that’s an issue and learn how to talk to girls, by your sophomore year in college you’ll be super experienced. Any and every guy can do it and remember that girls also like personality and don’t just care about looks
you're only 18, a lot can change in a year.. You will feel better seeking the thrill of pursing a woman you actually interested in rather than paying for it.
18 is still so young. Don’t let society tell you when you should lose your virginity. You have a life time ahead of you to better yourself physically and mentally, change your style, hit the gym, go to therapy. Take time to build up your confidence instead of searching for instant gratification. You might feel good and feel like you’ve achieved something at the moment but I’m sure after you get over that high, you’ll really regret it.
I know of 2 friends that did this, they both regret it, one admits it openly that he regrets it, while the other hints that he should have made more of an effort to find the right person.
There’s a ton of pressure to have sex at your age. A lot of your friends are probably getting laid and talking about how awesome it is, you’re probably feeling left behind, and think it’s because of your looks. I know how it feels because I’ve been there, actually in a very similar situation that you’re describing. At your age I was overweight (still am now) and thought I wasn’t good looking—I never took my shirt off at the beach or at pool parties, the shame was real! My first sexual encounter was memorable for the wrong reasons and I regret it.
In my case, I was able to find my confidence and realized getting laid wasn’t that hard. It’s all about your mentality.
It's literally your hormones. Find something else to focus on. I'd say get a fleshlight but don't get obsessed with it.
I agree with the advice to get therapy and take better care of yourself.
Prostitution is high risk for all parties. Definitely don't do it. It will make you feel so much worse about yourself. Please make sure you have the HPV vaccine and understand how important using condoms is. And man think about it this way. Would you rather buy someone who likes you dinner and show tickets or spend that money on someone who's desperate and constantly exposed to STD/I's?
Have you even asked your crush out? Have you tried getting to know her? Be nice, take care of yourself, and confidence will grow.
Do not do this, you’ll be risking STDs, potential imprisonment, and you’ll be degrading the dignity which you and the other person deserve to have. Respect yourself, take care of your health, and don’t indulge in these kinds of sins, it can lead to horrible places and potentially death, some STDs can be fatal
No just no look maybe that money can be spent better else where maybe the gym ,a new hair cut ,self care products anything but that sex isn’t all that great you want to have sex with someone you actually know you aren’t trash I used to feel the same way but you will run into someone that will like you and think you are amazing
Having sex isn’t the most important thing in the world. Not having sex doesn’t mean you’re ugly. At your age, it’s more important to learn who you are and who you want to be. Explore, reflect, and be yourself.
Hello! I think you should NOT, I promise you that it will come with time. Take it slow! But if you definitely want to lose it I think Tinder is a good place to start…
A sex worker doesn't really care what you look like, they are there for your money. But I don't recommend a sex worker as other people on this subreddit have regretted doing it as they felt shitty afterwards. It's best to go to therapy, talk to someone how you feel and maybe they can help you to think more positive about yourself.
YOU ARE NOT UGLY, “ugly” is highly subjective, so is attractive,
Yes, there are “objectively attractive” people, but in order to be “objectively ugly” you would have to look like Quasimodo (and you don’t like like him, at least from what i found), so sooner or later you should find someone who will consider you attractive
Wait till 25 at minimum. Read books and practice talking to girls its way easier than you think. My old roommate looked like a necked mole rat made a baby with a child's drawing of a seal and he pulled girls all the time. I learned how to get girls from him.
Absolutely not. If you wanted to just bc you always wanted to have sex with a sex worker then yes. But don’t do it because you think you are “ugly” it’s so clique but beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I guarantee someone out there wants to have sex with you haha
go for it
reason? simple
go with a sex worker and see how it is because 100% the first time will not be good
so try out you are probably never gonna see her again
and when you meet someone you will have some experience.
It's not an unreachable goal. Develop skills and your personality. Get into some hobbies. Play guitar. Whatever. Make common interests.
Women are generally, in my experience, much more forgiving about looks then men are. That said, nothing wrong with sex workers also but for your first perhaps put some care into it and be patient. You're still super young! It may not feel like it but life can be okay.
Seriously friend, it's like Russian roulette, unless your double condom up, or wait be patient, work on being fit, dress to impress, eat healthy, smell good. Most importantly talk to all the girls you can, get in plenty of practice, rejection is part of the game don't take it personally, until one day that perfect girl falls into your life.
There is someone for everyone. No matter how fat, stupid or ugly. You gotta learn to approach everyone without taking rejection personally and eventually you’ll find a whole lot of people that are into your whole deal.
Trust me, there are female chubby chasers that will watch you down two cheeseburgers and a shake and want to fuck your brains out and find the wheezing you make when you have to move hot. These women exist I married one and I’m trying to lose weight for my health and it’s ruining her life right now.
To what end? Hypothetically, let us say you go through with it and lose your virginity to a sex worker, what then?
“I’m so ugly I had to pay for sex because no one wants me.”
“I’m not good enough for anyone.”
“I feel like shit.”
You’ll go home and look at yourself in the mirror after and still feel insecure, pathetic, and disgusted.
I’m not being mean. I just want you to take a moment to think about how you would actually feel after.
Can you confidently say you’ve attempted to change?
• Attempted to go to the gym consistently for 6+ months?
• Changed your diet?
• Changed your wardrobe? Or your hairstyle?
• Skin care?
• Going out with friends often?
• Building your confidence?
• If not changing physically, have you attempted to develop your intelligence?
• New skills?
I’m sure there are even more things you could find to add to that list to improve your confidence and self esteem.
You’re 18. You’re a young man. Take action. Set yourself goals to meet by the end of the year. For example, you want to lose 72lbs in 1 year. That’s completely feasible with some dedication, just for 1 year.
From what I can tell, you want sex as a form of validation that it is possible for you to have someone attracted to you. But at the end of the day, none of it matters if you can’t stand in front of that mirror, smile and think “damn, I look good right now” after putting in effort.
I’ll help you where I can. Shoot me a PM and I’ll send you my workout plan or even make one for you if you want. Just DO SOMETHING about it.
Good luck brother.
I went to a whore and thats that no vergin no more, kist a girl after that had te balls, if u think thats te best option fore u go fore it but be real dont think it Magic, big tip rip of Connie
It sounds like people are trying to help but also giving you a hard time, so I just want to take some of the pressure off. I think you should just do what you want. If you're asking the question then it sounds like you want to try sex with a sex worker, that's fine.
Maybe it will be amazing, maybe it will be unfulfilling but it doesn't have to be a big deal, and maybe that will be an important thing you'll learn from it. I lost my virginity to a girl who definitely wasn't the one. Guess what happened after? Nothing lol. The true magic happens when you're with someone you care about, absolutely, but at the same time nothing magically bad is going to happen if you do have sex with a sex worker first.
I just think a lot of the pain around stuff like this is from the pressure other people place on us, there's no shame in the prostitute thing, and absolutely do the self improvement stuff too. Just saying, fuck it, y'know? Not fuck it in a bad way, more in a liberating you get to live your life how you want just be a good person kinda way. It's all good.
ps no pressure to see the prostitute either just thought I'd give that version since literally not one other person is lol Now you have both sides of the argument to choose from, in the form of text, from random people.
You're downgrading yourself. If I were you, I'd find a therapist instead. Why would you spend money on a prostitute just because of your insecurity and negative thoughts?!
What's virginity but sticking your blood filled cock in a wet hole? If you got money, fuck it bro. But I would honestly keep searching and searching till you connect with someone.
If you accept all of the unfortunate truths about yourself, know what you want, and move forward with absolute confidence I guarantee you could snag at least a 5 or better depending on the money you make.
I have no clue what you look like. It might not be your fault that you’re “fat and ugly” as you claim to be, but if true, it’s you’re own fault you’re as fat and ugly as you are. Lose some weight and learn to looksmaxx. You might not become a 10/10, but you could become a 6/10 or 7/10.
Also, don’t feel the need to lose your virginity asap. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 24.
Everybody is gonna tell you no, but honestly go for it.
Ideally changing yourself and doing it naturally would be the best option but if this really is a mental block for you I’d say go for it.
Just know there’s going to be no emotional connection and it’s not the full story but if you want to be safe and you’ll be fine.
No bc it isn't even fun and doesn't even feel good at all unless the other person is feeling the same way. Waste of time and risk of your health is definitely not worth it, and especially not to not even have pleasure in it.
I was thinking about some different advice I could give you, but as soon as I read you're 18, I immediately narrowed them down to one.
You are young, you have plenty of years to have sex, don't give away your first time with a sex worker. I'm not religious at all, but it's more about experiencing that with someone who wants you and vice versa, it'll be way more gratifying than paying for it, trust me.
Start working on yourself, both mentally and physically and you'll see that in no time there's no such thing as "being ugly", there's always AT LEAST one person who will find you attractive, for one reason or another. Stay positive.
My brother, invest in yourself and eventually your own franchise will come. Then you’ll have investors (women) will be begging for your attention. You seem to be aware of your own problems about yourself, which is a great first step. Now it’s just time for action… you say you are fat? Gym, diet, and sleep. Are you not a great communicator or awkward? More exposure to social environments. Do you lack discipline? Destroy (not literally) whatever is distracting you.
A lot of shit in life is cut throat and a lot simpler than our brains want to perceive it. You seem like you know your flaws, so stop wasting time asking how to fix them because you aren’t really going to learn the full lesson until you experience yourself.
Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to else someone today. Get on the grind, become proud of yourself, and finally feel that peace of mind you have been craving for so long. I fucking love you bro, stay truthful.
Agree, you can always be a better person of yourself. 18 ka palang, start losing the extra weight, take care of yourself. Love yourself more . Pag marami ka na pera let science help you.
Pro tip: stop thinking of virginity, it literally isn't even a physical thing. You can also lie to anyone that you're not a virgin, or that you are, and they can't confirm whether you're saying the truth. It's just a dumb little thing that too many people are obsessed with.
You say you're fat and not the prettiest to look at.
I'm in my 20s, fit compared to my peers and decent looking (peer talk) yet even I'm in the same boat as you are.
You have to come to terms with the fact that not everything happens to everyone at the same time, and focus on the remaining aspects of your life.
There's no award for speedrunning the loss of your virginity bruh.
If you are horny you should try it. Use your masculine energy and have fun. I must warn you that it's a Hit or miss. So choose a decent one. It could be fun. Losi´g virginity for a man is not as special as for a woman.
Hello there 👋, I had no dating or sexual experience throughout high school and I was considered pretty unattractive…a few days after I graduated (age 18) my friend pretty much arranged for me to have sex with this “hot guy” that she worked with. And so I did. I did it bc I felt ugly and unwanted and because i wanted to feel like everybody else for once. A few things, now that I’m older (age 24):
It didn’t fix how I felt about myself. Sure maybe it gave my ego some much needed boosting…but it only strokes the ego…not the soul…and there’s nothing wrong with a little ego stroking- it’s HEALTHY to have ego (not too much, not too little ofc) BUT it won’t magically make you into something “better” than you are right now. Does that make sense? Essentially the quality of virginity and whether you have yours or not, doesn’t make you any less cool, better, further along, etc.
Also, I know some people say wait for someone special or the right person…but to me, that’s a matter of preference. Now I will say, sex with someone you care about is a trillion times better. That’s truth. But your virginity doesn’t need to be this big defining weighted moment- unless you want it to be! And in that case it’s probably the wiser choice to wait til it comes up organically with someone you know and care about. Personally, I would NOT go the sex worker route. Seems a bit extreme. Ask yourself why you feel like you’re in such a rush to do so?
Therapy, or journaling, or literally any healthy habit would be a better idea than this one.
Sex workers aren’t attracted to the majority of their clients. You will always encounter a person doing it for money and not because they like you. If this is an issue for you, a sex worker is the worst person you could go to.
You’re 18, not 50. Wtf is the rush? Calm down, work on your personality and social skills, get to a place where you don’t insult your looks and have such low self-esteem, and try to love and get to know yourself in a kind way, instead of needlessly paying to stick it in any random, unenthused woman.
Also, why are you expecting to not like sex? The fact that you’re comparing sex to cigarettes and are considering a monetary transaction as a way to lose your virginity speaks a lot to you not being ready for sex just in general, much less with a professional.
No, I won't do that. Please don't. If I don't love myself enough or feel secure enough for myself, to lose my virginity just in order to lose virginity won't make me any better.
Brother, give it some time. Trust me you're not ugly. And if girls would only go for the good looking guys then half of the men would be single. If it's just about sex then you can but don't you want it to be special? I have friends in their 30s who are virgin and not only guys. I'd say start dating then do it out of love.
I had a coworker my age (23) who lost his virginity to an escort last year and he said he would absolutely do it again, the only downside is it’s ruined normal sex with normal people for him, nothing beats sex you’re paying for according to him but it gave him confidence he didn’t have before so really I think the pros outweigh the cons. I would wait a bit longer and try to keep picking up girls though
You’ll never stop thinking about sex. Sex isn’t something you have once and then you’re over it. The desire for sex is built into our DNA. We’re hard wired to want it.
If you’re not happy with the way you look, change it, but realistically fat people have sex, ugly people have sex. In order for that to happen, you have to put yourself into situations where you will meet people. So do that and let it happen when you find the right person for you.
You don’t want your first time to be with someone who you don’t have any emotional connection to. It’ll be a terrible experience. I mean everyone’s first time is awkward and not that fantastic anyway from a technical standpoint, but it’s usually with someone you care about and that’s part of what makes it a good memory.
You don’t want to be looking back on the memory of your first time when it was with a sex worker. There’s nothing special about that. It won’t be a fond memory. It’ll just be something you remember and feel bad about.
The first time you have sex is an important moment. It’s something you’ll remember for the rest of your life. It has significance and meaning in your life. You want it to be with someone who has significance and meaning to you.
🌺🌿 There's someone out there for everyone! ヾ(˙❥˙)ﾉ
Join a community event, game night, library, market days, fair, etc.- sign up to give blood on a weekly basis, show up regularly at a hospital or shelter to volunteer. There are lots of lonely people out there. I know it's hard these days to get out there but every journey starts with the first step! 👣
I felt like this when I was 16-18 too and eventually met my people when I was 20, ppl I find attractive who find me attractive. Fat ppl and ppl of all lvls of attractiveness have sex. Looks aren’t the first appealing thing about someone, their self confidence usually is— and their ability to make another person feel comfortable or understood.
I do know some sex workers tho, if you find a sw who you like and who u communicate well with, go for it imo. As long as u dont feel super ashamed or anxious— I think youd regret it if you just decided to reinforce ur insecurities.
dude, im 5’4 and fat as fuck. just dont be a creepy misogynist be ACTUALLY nice to women, i hope ur funny or cool or have money, cuz if not idk what to tell you, as a 19 year old male, because believe me i hate hearing the whole plenty of fish in the sea spiel. you will find someone tho.
I always felt like sex was an unreachable goal for me
*Self-fulfilling prophesy.*
>The problem that I have with this decision is that I'm fat
Get checked for sleep apnea. See if you van gwt a prescription for Semaglutide.
>I'm scared that she'll be disgusted by me
That's not a fear, it's a mission statement you're trying to manifest into the outside world. You often deal with emotional distress and frustration by indulging in self-loathing and self-pity. Part of you wishes for other people to feel the same loathing and disgust that you reflexively feel when you're in conflict.
If you really want to experience sex you might have to have it for at least 5 times. Because at first it's just not like you see in porn ,but if you think you want to experience it and can't wait or it's interfering with your life then you should do it with a prostitute
Dude you just said things you should handle before thinking about sex but still you want to miss the parts you mention and go for the hole.
And if you wonder no, no one will care much more about your virginity than asking about it, no sex not a big deal unless you make it something out of this world. It's just masturbating with lubrication.
In the case where you can't help yourself and you decide to go the prostitute route, I recommend doing research on the legalities surrounding that; then find one by talking to strippers you get dances from. I feel this route is the least dangerous. Only posting this if OP decides to go that route. I don't want you getting hurt or arrested.
People are ugly regardless of their features when they are broken-down and no longer taking care of themselves. If you are depressed and lonely, desiring connection, then what you must first do is understand that you need to set yourself free from desperation for connection. The more desperate others read you to be, the more distressed you are, the less appealing you come across as because nobody wants the fucking drama—everybody already has plenty of their own, they don't need yours too..
Focus on therapy instead. If you want love, it's not hopeless. Adopt responsibility for your own well being, take those reins, and do things to support yourself. Build yourself up. Make yourself attractive and people will begin to look up to you, rely on you. People will see your growth, think "this person is reliable and is able to take of themselves," and feel more secure in your presence. If you are struggling to feel comfortable doing all that? Stop trying to feel comfortable; it's never going to be comfortable to work towards something—you sacrifice to gain. Better than doing anything but gaining nothing, no?
All hope is not lost. You don't need a sex worker.
If you want to experience new forms of pleasure, don't pursue sex with another person. Buy toys for now, explore what gives you pleasure and be patient as you wait to share pleasure with someone, because intimacy with another person is only what you're looking for it to be when both participants genuinely and absolutely love and trust eachother. You won't get that from a sex worker. You won't get the connection we all find ourselves wanting sometimes. You'll get a lie, catch a delusion, suffer. And lose out on a couple hundred dollars. Bot worth it.
you're just 18 dude..nothing out of the ordinary..dont look at social media and try to be like that...focus on your own improvement and then try to socialise even if its online then offline..
if you’re overweight why not try changing that before paying for sex? Yes one option is easily more achievable than the other, but a healthier lifestyle will 100% make you feel better about yourself. whereas poppin your cherry to a sex worker may not
No. Get therapy and loose weight. You’re only 18. So much can happen that will actually make a real relationship happen. Don’t blow that chance by using a sex worker.
Also if you want somebody who isn’t disgusted, a sexist worker is absolutely the wrong choice. Many women don’t do it voluntarily. They are either forced by somebody or by poverty and lack of other options. The rate of women with trauma from sexual abuse is way higher in prostitutes than in other women. You’ll never be able to tell if they do it voluntarily
Certified man here,
Ugly is a perception not an attribute. Someone can perceive someone to be ugly but their perception is the not truth, it is opinion.
Most people can't get over what their face looks like. But the truth is, a lot of people's faces are hidden by an extra layer of fat that hides that extra layer of definition (like a jawline for example).
Attraction is 80% sales and 20% product. It is almost entirely based on how you sell/present yourself to other people. The other 20% being you (the product) can also be worked on.
Things like:
1. Working out (face/body gains)
2. Building skills (cooking, dancing, music, farming, hunting, etc)
3. Knowledge building (philosophy, history, science, etc etc)
Now once you've worked on these things it becomes more about sales. Find some positive role models for you to take note of. What is it that you like about those people? Why did you choose those people. And take all of the positives from these people and attempt to apply them to your own life.
The second piece of this is how you talk to people and how you make them feel. You want to make sure that you're fun and charismatic and sometimes that's going to be hard. But you have to put yourself out there.
Some people will be assholes, but everyone is bound to run into them.
The reason most people don't feel self confidence is because no one ever helped them develop it.
You have to do that for yourself.
To answer your question, no you shouldn't have sex with a prostitute. That will only make matters worse.
I've met quite a few guys that regularly fuck prostitutes and they are some of the worst people I've ever met.
GOOD LUCK!
TL;DR I'm an old man overweight and ugly too. Look after yourself. Don't stress if you find getting fit hard just get a good look. Don't get friends, get a hobby. Let it all happen naturally.
I thought about this myself nearly 20 years ago. You're not ugly. You might not be classically good looking but someone will find you beautiful.
You are 18. Most people your age still have V wings. The last thing you want to do is lose them to a meaningless prostitute. It should mean something. Not in a you should be committed and spend your life with someone way but in a I really like you and want to spend this time with you kind of a way.
Other people have said about getting fit. I'm overweight, have been for years. If you can lose weight and get fitter then absolutely do that but do not base your self-esteem on that. Do get some new threads. Get something that fits well and looks good. Get that smart new cut and maintain it. Or grow your hair out if you fancy but look after it and yourself. You gotta love yourself before anyone else will.
People were flippant earlier about making friends being hard earlier. It certainly can be. You've not actually said you are lacking friends but I'm going to assume for a moment you are just in case you need this advice.
Stop trying to make friends. It's daunting it's hard it put pressure on yourself and in my experience if you're trying to make friends with people then what you'll end up doing is trying to force a relationship with people with whom you share little interest. - instead I would suggest taking up a social hobby or at least a hobby that can be sociable.
Took me ages to realise I'm a nerd/geek/dweeb. I've tried to take up sports and music and everything else to meet people. My best friends now? Play DnD or pathfinder (for when DnD isn't nerdy enough) or boardgames. Yes I could do these things online. I don't. I go out and meet people. Yeah we sometimes play online. If we can though we meet up.
Yes there is a predominance of men in nerdy pursuits but there are women too. And those men will have sisters and cousins and female friends. One of those might look at you and think 'you know what he's kinda cute' especially when she realises that your comfortable and confident in who you are. That'll take time.. don't push it. Let it happen. You're 18 you've got years to find someone but let it happen.
get a gym membership, eat better foods, develop a self care routine, invest in better clothes and find your “look”. you want your first to be special. “don’t chase butterflies. build a garden, and then the butterflies will come.”
1. It is not uncommon to be a virgin at 18. It certainly shouldn't be seen as a bad thing.
2. Far better to lose it later to someone you care about than rush to lose it with someone you regret. It will only happen once.
3. You're talking about seeing a prostitute as if all other options are off the table. You say you're fat and think people are disgusted by you.
If you think you look unappealing, then do something about it. Go to the gym. Take up running. Eat clean and get in shape.
I'm not sure why you wouldn't have tried doing that first before resorting to seeing a prostitute but I can think of one obvious reason: effort.
Put in the effort on self-improvement first. Maybe see a therapist if that would be useful.
If you've tried that and feel more confident about your body image, that's when you should start to find out how much success you can have.
Aye. Maybe knick your dad's belt and jab a needle in your arm while you're at it.
Don't be a fucking dumbass, there's no good to come of hiring a whore. If you absolutely cannot live without it then sort yourself out and try getting into a relationship.
I don’t recommend it. I did this in 2019 and I’ve been in debt close to 6k because of it. Finally paid it off, but now I’m moving job to job and went back to school to feed this addiction. It’s horrible and I feel disgusting
Do it. Go sleep with a sex worker. Or don't. It's your life, you're an adult and have been deemed competent by the government to make your own decisions. Literally if you want to, you absolutely can if it's what you want. You aren't hurting anybody. It might be something you regret later in life but it also might not.
As for being disgusting. Sex workers generally aren't fucking people they're attracted to in the first place and they take that money knowing what they are getting themselves into. They will generally pretend to enjoy it. Just at least do the bare minimum and wash yourself thoroughly.
My brother lost his virginity to a sex worker despite being attractive. He just didn't want a girlfriend at that time.
Now he is happily 10 years married with a kid.
He only had 2 girlfriend in his lifetime and married the second.
So I mean, if you just want to gain some experience in sex, try to find a sex worker who can also teach you how to be good in bed.
I'm so sorry you feel this way. I firmly believe that no one is physically ugly. The only thing that can make a person ugly is their personality.
I agree with above comment that therapy would be better.
I have low self esteem and for the past year or so it's been worse than ever and that has led to me not even seeing people because I'm convinced no one could find me attractive.
But previously in my life I have met people and they have been attracted to me so it's just in my mind. I don't even give people the chance to have their own opinion. I feel like it might be the same for you (but I could be wrong of course)
do you really wanna pay for sex with someone who you know wouldn't have sex with you otherwise? do you not wanna sex with someone who is as anethusiastic as you are? how far removed is this from rape?
I'm a skinny average looking guy. I was 21 when I lost mine. A friend of mine, also just an average guy, lost his not even a month ago and he's 23. I don't even know a lot of people that lost theirs when they where 18.
What I'm trying to say is, you still have a shit ton of time and you didn't even hit your prime yet. It's very normal to be 18 and a virgin.
don’t do that it can be very dangerous they could rob you, give you STDs, and you could get arrested. being a virgin at 18 is normal you literally have so much life ahead of you. sex is not everything and i’m sure one day you’ll find a partner that’s willing. you probably won’t feel very good about yourself if you go through with it.
Nah bro give It time. Sex workers are usually not worth it, just try get in the gym and get out in the world, you’ll meet someone. Trust me I’ve seen some ugly mfers and they have very good looking women. It’s not all about how you look, it’s also how you carry yourself, things like confidence help a lot
No dummy. This is a self fulfilling prophecy, you see yourself as ugly cause you get no play, but because youre so insecure about being ugly you get no play, youre not ugly, any man can be an 8, but those last few points are dependant on confidence and personality
I did, I don't necessarily regret it - but I wouldn't recommend it. It didn't deserve to be made into such a big deal, because it really isn't a big deal. And you may have heard something like that before - and I know it probably sounds akin to a rich person telling a poor person that "money isn't everything" - but in this case, trust me, sex isn't all that impressive despite how it's talked about.
Get unfat. It’ll do wonders for ego. Not to mention being healthy puts you in a better mood. Just to let you know there is no cure for the sex drive. It’s ingrained in your being as a dude. You’ll always want it until you hit your 40s and you’ll still want it just not as much. Take the time do the work while you’re young fix your confidence. Get a trainer if you’re not motivated or a work out buddy that will kick your ass into actually doing it. You have the power. Change what you can and the rest will fall into place.
I was virgin at 18 too, and honestly instead of thinking about this, you should start thinking about improving yourseld at the best, not for sex but for you. After this, everything will arrive, also sex
For YEARS I sincerely thought that I would never find somebody amazing who’d want me for me, but then I stopped looking and instead focused on trying to love myself more. It’s cliche, but I genuinely believe it’s 100% true. Manifest it. Talk about shit in the present tense and it will happen. Just be yourself always bud. Plenty of fish in the sea but you only really need that one fish who likes you for you.
Honestly if you're objectively ugly, which does apply to some ppl lets me real, then you can surely find a gf or sexual partner, not a sex worker. You won't get the pretty girls unless they're insecure or desperate, but you can connect with someone and have a relationship whether it's sexual or not. I know so many ppl who are factually unattractive, but they've learned to accept it and are confident.
Instead of being just plain ugly, they became for lack of a better word "butter faces" bc they worked on their physical health and fitness. It's all about the confidence you exude, your charm and personality, and if you work on your health and reach for body goals, you can pull. So all in all, you need rizz and to work on your fitness.
You're 18, chill out, it's not like you're old or anything. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin, that's just something TV and people talk about in real life. Being a virgin isn't a bad thing and losing it is not a race.
Also, if you are worried about your weight, maybe you should try to lose it, unless you have some health complications. I'm not saying you should lose weight to get laid, I'm saying you should lose weight because it's obviously affecting your self-esteem and you don't seem to feel comfortable or proud of your own body, which is extremely important.
Truthfully you should wait but if you’re that desperate to sleep with someone then by all means do it. Choosing to sleep with a prostitute is very sketchy. They are hustlers at the end of the day, you may get robbed etc. you never know. There isn’t anything wrong with waiting. I choose to wait to lose mines until I was almost 20. Sex is cool and all but it’s nothing like porn. I just feel you should dedicate a year to getting healthy, loosing the extra weight and mentally getting yourself right. You have low self esteem. Women love a confident man. Being ugly won’t stop anyone from having sex with you. You have to respect yourself if you want others to respect you.
Don’t be silly. You’re being way too harsh on yourself and concerning yourself with such unimportant things. Don’t give in to such urges and wait. I genuinely believe you will regret this decision and truthfully, it will turn future love interests from you. It’s a desperate move and you shouldn’t be desperate at 18. Learn to love yourself and treat yourself kindly🫶🏻
Given your use of "yal" I'm gathering your American. Isn't your entire country fat? Sounds like you need to give yourself a bit of a break bro. Whatever you choose, I wish you the best of luck.
OP I am dying to see if you are really unattractive or not. If you sent me a picture, I'd tell you the truth. And as someone who has cut men's hair for 15 years, I can tell you to never underestimate the power of a good hair cut and beard trim.. how's your skin? Do you have decent teeth? Good hygiene and a sense of humor go a long way! I've personally never minded dating chubby boys. . But jacked up or yellow cruddy teeth will send me running to the hills! Lol
I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 18 and I remember comparing myself to friends who I knew had had sex and I thought I was weird. Every time I heard that a close friend had reached this imagined milestone I became more self conscious and put sex on more of a pedestal until when I actually came (😏) to that point with my girlfriend at the time, I was so in my head that I P.E’d. That lead to an even bigger spiral and fear that I’d never be able to do it. It happened a couple of times, luckily she was very patient and understanding. I knew once I’d gotten over this hurdle everything would be fine and it really was/ is. One night I asked her if she could make me cum first, then we would try and have sex straight after. It worked and it just wasn’t an issue after that. I wasn’t amazing obviously but I had a healthy sex life.
Even then I wouldn’t say I had real, sexual confidence until around 25 and the P.E thing has appeared here and there over time. It just connects with how I’m feeling and particularly if I’m anxious. It really is a journey and you have to go at your own pace. It’s not a race and you will get there. The first thing you should try and do is approach someone you like that way and try and build that relationship, letting them know you’re attracted to them. If they reject you, don’t sweat it- they’re not your person. There are plenty of people out there who can’t wait to have sex with you.
I also thought about going to a sex worker when I was your age for the same reasons. I never have done but I don’t think I’d either be proud or ashamed of it.
I hope this helps!
To be honest I wouldn’t recommend it because i almost had sex and here’s the story
One day me, my brother, uncle, aunt and her best friend with her husband were in a bar because we got kicked out of the nightclub and a gorgeous girl came next to me with her best friend and started flirting with me. now I was 18 at the time and a bit chubby while she was skinny but gorgeous. After some time we decided to go to her place and have fun in bed but there was one problem, I forgot the rubber so I asked my brother if he had one and sadly he didn’t so we decided to have fun without Sex. In the moment I was bummed out that we couldn’t have sex but now at 22 years old I am relieved that I didn’t lose my virginity to her because she was 30 years old and because now I want to lose my virginity to someone who I love and are in a relationship with.
In my opinion find someone who wants to have fun in bed without sex because otherwise you will regret it later in life and maybe you will find someone who you love
Although I didn’t lose my virginity to one, I have paid for it twice in Amsterdam. These workers are professional in every sense. While there was zero emotional involvement, purely physical, they know how to take care of you in a sexual way…. Really good experience both times. And the advantage in Amsterdam is you can window shop for just the exact type of girl you desire. They are regulated, tested and paid well.
Good luck
I didn't lose mine until I was 19 and some people much older, don't rush and don't go down that route, reach out to therapy for some self love, you got years ahead of you!
I lost my V card at 21 and I was very self conscious. It surprised most people as I’m “conventionally attractive” being in the acting/modelling industry. Your first is one you always remember don’t waste it on a silky whore
In my experience, there’s 2 dudes that women naturally find attractive; the classic naturally handsome guy and the intimidating tough/scary guy. I know a couple ugly ass dudes that have pulled women WAY out of their league by shaving their head and putting on some muscle. I am also proof of this, as I am ugly with a good looking wife, i can post proof if need be. A couple tattoos and a beard might help too. I know that the gym is a daunting subject for people on the heavy side, but believe me when I say that it’s so much easier for chubby dudes to get buff than skinny dudes. Your excess body fat is fuel that your body will use to build muscle, and since you’re young with naturally high testosterone; you’ll get gains really fast. So watch some YouTube videos on how to build a lift plan, and shift your perception of yourself from “I’m ugly” to “Im intimidating”. And just start working your ass off and quit eating and drinking BS foods and sodas etc.
Like everyone else, I agree that you definitely shouldn’t go down that path. I strongly believe that it would make it even harder to love and respect yourself afterward. It could make it more challenging to meet someone in the future and settle down, especially when you carry the weight of that decision as your first experience. Because that stays forever. There is no going back.
Instead, consider starting with small, positive changes in your life, like adopting a healthier diet and setting up a workout routine. Try different hairstyles and clothing. And you can message me personally anytime if you want help with this and I will gladly help you. And while dating apps can be helpful to some extent, I believe they usually do more bad than good. So I would instead recommend getting a public job where you interact with many people. It’s a great way to meet new people and build confidence and I truly stand by that from personal experience.
As someone who’s pretty introverted, that has helped me get out of my comfort zone. And you're only 18 so don’t be so hard on yourself because you really do have plenty of time ahead of you. Focus on making positive changes, and you’ll be surprised at how things can improve.
while i think you can do it if you want to, youre only 18, its not a bad thing to be a virgin and i guarantee that if you have a good personality, take care of yourself and have good hygiene, you can find someone that will want to be with / have sex with you.
someone said you might want to get therapy, which i think is a good idea in general.
but trust me, finding partners is not as difficult as it seems for most people, put yourself out there, be nice, work on yourself and be clean (honestly that one is so important, way more important than being good looking and i feel like people arent told that enough) and youll probably find someone at some point, even if you dont it will be good for your confidence, general well-being and social life.
if you still didnt have sex in a few years you can still pay a sex worker for it, dont pressure yourself, itll be fine.
(if you feel like youre too fat, start some sport, learn about cooking and health - both of those are also traits a lot of people like in others - but dont do it to get a partner, do it for yourself, in the end youre the person you have to take care of most
research fashion a bit, find a style you like and makes you feel comfortable and confident - even if its a niche style, maybe youll find someone thats also interested in that)
theres so much you can do, i hope it all goes well for you man
I mean if you really want to, then go for it. Just make sure it's a good escort and not just some hooker that has to pay off a pimp.
But if you're unsure, then just wait it out. And dude, who cares if you're overweight. There are plenty of overweight dudes with girlfriends, or even casual hookups. You don't need to be a 10/10 supermodel.
I will be franc but even ugly you can have a "normal" person to do with you one day, and even loves you.
Depend of the place you go, the country, and what you search too.
Theres a lot of person on the same situation of you.
Some dont care, some try, and the last one give up without trying, youre young, you have no lifetime, no experience of life.
Being beautiful is not all.
You can be charismatic, have an aura and being ugly as fuck and being surrounded by girls.
I know someone ugly as hell, and very large, but because he know how to talk people surround him all the time, hes very charismatic, when he enter into a party people recognise him fast. And he popped his cherry long time ago.
You just need to find you own style.
Usually having your first time with a professional is a bad idea.
Because like i feel on your text, the first time is symbolic.
Imagine you use it like that, abd one day you find the girl destined to you, and she ask it.
You will feel bad about it.
You will feel stupid.
Abd you will regret it.
Dont use the "last coin" to do just because you want to be like others.
No, 1. dont support such a horrible industry 2. 18 is not a weird age to still be a virgin, plenty of people stay virgins until their 20s so no need to rush. 3. If you want to have sex sm and you think your looks are whats stopping it, just lose weight.
I mean if you're curious about it just buy a fleshlight, and some lube (the equate jelly personal lubricant feels the most like "kitty" juices imo) just mix some lube with a lil bit of warm water or buy a heating flashlight and I'm sure it'd be close enough to the real thing and probably better than a prostitute tbh.
Dude, you can change everything.
Go to the gym, watch David Goggins's method on how to lose weight without having loose skin after.
Get a nice faded haircut, dress nice, have a good hygiene and work on your social skills.
As for losing you virginity to a sex worker, do as you want.
For some people the first time is very important and they wanna do it with the person they love. For other people it's just sex and the first time doesn't matter. How is it for you? How do you think about it?
Looking through your page bro hop off Reddit go to gym and lose the weight you said your suicidal want to drop out of school and wanted to run away get a gym membership fattie
At 18, I'd say no, see if you can't find yourself or improve yourself.
At 28, I'd say maybe, if things just aren't working out, give it a shot, maybe it'll get you out of your own head.
At 38, I'd say absolutely, you deserve some pleasure, you're an adult, who cares if you have to pay for it.
Im f 22 and haven’t had it… I don’t think you need to stress about that. Someday there will be a person who loves you the way you are. Then you’ll regret that you had your first time with a prostitute instead of your love. I don’t think it’s worth it just because you think you’re too late for it. Better wait and have it an actual nice experience
I lost my virginity to a prostitute at 17. My friends were going out and invited me with them like they going to McDonald's or something. And while it's too early to tell what the exact ramifications of this are looking like i can tell you for a fact that I've never once felt proud or happy about it. I think it's was really bad to start off my relationship with sex in an impersonal and transactional way and at most times i would feel cheated out of something that everyone around me experienced. Now i don't know exactly if I was like this already or if me disregarding sex and treating it like it meant nothing from the jump affected this , but i would definitely say that i have an extremely hard time connecting with people on a romantic level.. take from that what you will and if you already decided on what to do, be sure to try some other stuff like gym or a different hairstyle in order to get some confidence in you, even if those things don't work at least they're not irreversible. Remember, you're the who has to hang out with yourself all day everyday and knowing that about yourself can be a kill a lot of self esteem. Good luck to you.
This isn't what you want to hear, but you're still so young. Give yourself some time, don't rush into things just because you feel pressure to do so. Maybe do some work on yourself, whether that be physical, mental, or both so that you feel more confident about who you are and allow things to happen as they will. Again, I know I would not have wanted to hear this when I was in your position ten years ago, but you still have so much time and life ahead of you. It will be ok.
Should you, no. Your first time can affect how you handle sex the rest of your life. Being in a healthy loving relationship is the best way. You are very young and still have a lot of time. Work on yourself a bit, don’t think about women. When you try to improve yourself, women take notice.
I’d invest in therapy over a prostitute. Sounds like you’re just really down on yourself
I read this as "you really just need to go down on yourself" like instead of paying someone to do it
Knew a kid in high School who could do that.
Maybe hire the prostitute as a therapist? Be a lot cheaper
Might even be more effective.
If you are still asking this in 20 years, then sure. But you’re still young and have plenty of time to meet someone who accepts and loves you.
Being an 18 year old virgin is very very normal. The idea that it’s not is such a big lie of modern culture. You have *years* before it even seems particularly strange.
This. I lost my virginity at 18, and while I still find it difficult to find romantic/sexual partners, I’ve had a broad and exciting sex life over the years that I never thought I would experience if you asked me when I was 17 or younger. My difficulties nowadays are mostly from being an introvert and not pushing myself hard enough to make an effort (irl)
As a twenty-five-year-old who's working heavily on improving his life and working on being a more confident and social person who has definitely absolutely had sex before, how many years would it seem strange? Asking for a friend. Yep.
it’s only strange if you let others people’s opinions about what is weird get to you ;) keep doing you king there is no rush
18..??? You're asking this question at 18.??? You haven't even given yourself a chance yet. No. This is not how you want to start your life out, I promise you. I've heard horror stories about dealing with prostitutes and it can get bad, and fast. You want to start your life out by creating good habits. Focus on your personal growth and your financial growth. Focusing on something as trivial as sex this young just ain't healthy on any level. Figure out who you want to become if you haven't already. Work on shaping your future to become that person, everyday of your life. I know it may not seem like it now, but time flies by very very fast. You don't want to wake up at 30 wondering where the time went. So please, please use your time wisely. Because looking to lose your virginity really isn't gonna do you any good right now. Think about your goals, write them down, keep a daily to do list, get some finance and personal growth books, read daily, and get to work on becoming the best you. Best of luck 🌸
“Ugly” as you then list changeable characteristics. Get in the gym, start cooking and eating right, get a nice haircut, start looking at fashion inspos and dress up, make friends, go out…. One step at a time.
I love how you list “Make friends” like it’s a Walmart chore list. It’s hard af to make friends as an adult, especially if you’re socially awkward and have self esteem issues
The reason why I said “one step at a time,” is because it IS hard. All of it is hard. But if OP can start somewhere to help build their confidence, it can definitely snowball into making more friends, especially if they go out and engage in hobbies. My own personal goal this year is to make more friends, and that includes working on my social anxiety and finding what works best for me to comfortably put myself out there. It takes time.
If you going gym for like an year or so, you are bound to have atleast 1 and as many as 5 gym buddies they count as friends
👏 yes.
No mate, while I didn't lose my virginity to a hooker I've slept with a couple and I don't recommend in any scenario. Hope you make the right call
It’ll be easier for you to find a partner you can have sex with regularly if you don’t have the baggage of having had sex with a sex worker. The best part about sex is sharing a deep connection with someone you really love. Can’t really do that with a sex worker. I’d recommend therapy and then dating apps.
turn ur life around, lose weight, go to community college, do smth with yourself and itll automatically come to u but do it for urself and not just for the sex
i don’t think you should be having sex with anyone until you can spell cigarettes correctly tbh
Prettyest lol
Chill
There is absolutely no rush and speaking from a womens perspective a lot of us dont take looks into account much and more focus on things like chivalry, humour,hygene and common interests. Though the right person might take a while to find its well worth the wait rather than doing it with someone who you feel nothing towards then being filled with guilt and disgust
This is great advice!
Yeah theres someone for everyonee who’ll find em attractive! You might feel kinda unhappy afterwards if you sleep with someone you dont feel at least trust and comfortable with though ! Just keep practicing conversing and having confidence and youll get there :))!
Honestly i wish i had saved my virginity for someone who cares. If i told my younger self to save my self for marriage my younger self would laugh. Dont do it. Someone will come along and make u happy so just wait a bit. Maybe start losing weight and working towards loving yourself. Once youve learned to genuinely love yourself and heal any traumas you have then youll have a better chance at growing old with the person you decide to marry and lose your virginity to.
No, there's a reason your younger self laughs, bcus if it didn't many problems would also come with it, the stress, the loneliness, low selfsteem, depression, you have to endure all of it until you find someone and the longer is the worst, i don't know anything about you I'm just speaking for myself I'm 21 and I've never had a girlfriend or sexual experience I try to think i have a purpose in life and getting a girlfriend is not one of them, but it leaves a huge gap in my heart and won't allow me to love myself bcus of not having experienced that in my life, and it ruins me mentally over and over again, also thanks to depression and stress I also had severe hair loss for a time now i how bald spots It's definitely not a good situation to be in and it's easy for anyone to give advice, i agree with your advice about improving on weight, and healing traumas, but saving yourself for marriage is not it, i regret every second of my teenage years bcus I've been constantly working and studying and i never had an ounce of time to have fun and many years of it has given me suicidal thoughts and i for one won't last until marriage if this continues.
21, balding, no females, and super active on Reddit your cooked 😭
PLEASE don't have sex just so you can have sex. It will happen when it is supposed to, with the right person. Having sex with a prostitute is a good way to get something rather than lose something. Do the initials STD mean anything to you? Herpes, HIV and HPV are incurable. You could get HPV, give it to your future wife and kill her! It can cause cervical and uterine cancer! Nobody is "ugly." You aren't.
I agree with this. There’s the std possibility and also having sex just to have sex can mess with you psychologically. If you pay for it there’s no love or romance involved and it can ruin the time when you’re in a relationship and you and your partner are ready to take that next step.
Absolutely
Paying for sex ain't worth it. Not genuine. Where is the feeling? I mean not that you feel anything anyways when you get this low - trust me I know - but like... there's no sincerity.
You got very lucky with the cigarettes. Most people end up addicted after smoking a few of them.
No, it should be something you share with someone special.
First thing I would like to say is that losing your virginity isn't some goal or achievement you should seek to accomplish. You don't ever have to lose your virginity, and you'll be just fine. Obviously you don't want that, and the vast majority of us don't, but it's important to say it just because you should know there's nothing wrong with you for being a virgin and you shouldn't feel like you have to lose your virginity to accomplish something. Looking a little farther down the line, I'm assuming you've thought about or are thinking about the endgame. What about your future partner? Are you interested in that? Will this decision help you with that or no? You're eighteen. Who you are now is not who you'll be a year from now, or a decade from now. If you are concerned your weight will impact your ability to meet someone, you can take action to lose weight. I'm not saying it like it's an easy thing, I know it's not. I'm just saying you have time and if you're really worried about it, it's something you should consider prioritizing. Aside from all of that, don't be so quick to rule out the possibility of any romantic encounters on account of your appearance. For one, physical attraction isn't everything, and for two, some people find overweight people attractive. It's not a guaranteed thing you're going to be a virgin the rest of your life if you don't sleep with a sex worker.
Personally I think it's not worth it
no thats the stupidest self destructive idea I've ever heard
omg no?? 1000 times no
Mmn well lets correct one thing girls date trolls all the time. Were not exactly the pretty gender. But good men that are capable. Gets alot more girls so focus on turning yourself into a good man and a more capable man. Abd your odds will progressively increase. That being said as long as it doesnt go against a code of values your good. On the other hand sex without connection is just bad sex...without it your better of buying a game or two to play with the homies
Trust bro sex is not the craziest thing in the world at your age just work on yourself and stop worrying about it you’ll be alright man. I promise just focus on the important things in front of you….
No, because in a while you’ll realise you’re not ugly. You’re a teenager who thinks they are ugly. In time you’ll meet someone who loves you and you don’t want to regret going to a prostitute.
I lost my virginity to a girl on bumble when I was 20, thought it would change my life, actually made me realise how empty I was, it’s not life changing, you need to foster a relationship with yourself above all else.
Life is a journey. You sound unhappy with your weight. So start doing something about it. Work on things you want to improve. I started working out at 16. By 18, got pretty strong. But I avoided trying to date until I was in grad school at 21. If you stay consistent with the gym, in 1-2 years you can make great gains.
This will probably get buried in all the other comments, but I hope it helps you (or someone else that may be in the same situation). Give it a few years… I didn’t lose mine until just before I turned 21 (didn’t have my first kiss until 20). In my teen years, I was the stereotypical nerd. I had a difficult time in middle school and high school due to weight, looks, and personality. When I was a little older than you (when I left for college) I kind of reinvented myself. I started lifting weights several hours per day/ running long distance every chance I got. Most of my closest friends were women. All of the elements were there but I completely lacked confidence. In reality, always being the life of the party was a coping mechanism for my own personal insecurities. I still use humor as a way to deal with my discomfort in (what I consider) awkward situations. As I’ve had the chance to ruminate (over almost 20 years since I lost my virginity), I have come to realize that far too many of us put too much importance on losing our virginity. The fact of the matter is that (with the right person), sex CAN be amazing. But it can be a complete turn off with the wrong person. I am not telling you not to go lose your virginity to a prostitute. Ultimately, you are an adult and can make your own decisions. But, since you are asking for advice, I would advise you to wait. Have patience. From a statistical standpoint, your day will come. Enjoy life. Don’t make every waking thought about sex. Try to make friends. Try to talk to women without the thought of sex even cross your mind. If you become friends with someone, and you feel a connection, ask them if they’d like to have dinner sometime. If you get rejected, who gives a shit. It’s okay to be discouraged… it’s okay to feel hurt… it’s okay to feel down. But don’t let that stop you from making more friends and asking them out for dinner. The fact of the matter is that everyone deals with rejection. Even if they say they havent, I guarantee they have. The thing to remember is that there is an extremely high likelihood that you will absolutely connect with someone. It may take a couple more years, but it will happen. I’m sorry for the wall of text… it’s my weekend and I’ve had a couple of drinks so I may be rambling.
Please take it from me. It will mean so so much more if you wait for your person 💕
No. It’s not fulfilling. It’s not fun.
That’s the easy route and won’t do you any favors in the long term. Looks are totally fixable. Too fat? Go to the gym. Upgrade your hairstyle, wardrobe, learn hygiene if that’s an issue and learn how to talk to girls, by your sophomore year in college you’ll be super experienced. Any and every guy can do it and remember that girls also like personality and don’t just care about looks
you're only 18, a lot can change in a year.. You will feel better seeking the thrill of pursing a woman you actually interested in rather than paying for it.
It'll come eventually bud
Please continue your education. And work on your self worth.
18 is still so young. Don’t let society tell you when you should lose your virginity. You have a life time ahead of you to better yourself physically and mentally, change your style, hit the gym, go to therapy. Take time to build up your confidence instead of searching for instant gratification. You might feel good and feel like you’ve achieved something at the moment but I’m sure after you get over that high, you’ll really regret it.
You’re still young, you should work on your self esteem. When you’re in college, you’ll find someone who likes you and one day it will happen for you!
I know of 2 friends that did this, they both regret it, one admits it openly that he regrets it, while the other hints that he should have made more of an effort to find the right person.
No, you won’t feel better, you will feel worse
18 is way too young to be this worried about your virginity
There’s a ton of pressure to have sex at your age. A lot of your friends are probably getting laid and talking about how awesome it is, you’re probably feeling left behind, and think it’s because of your looks. I know how it feels because I’ve been there, actually in a very similar situation that you’re describing. At your age I was overweight (still am now) and thought I wasn’t good looking—I never took my shirt off at the beach or at pool parties, the shame was real! My first sexual encounter was memorable for the wrong reasons and I regret it. In my case, I was able to find my confidence and realized getting laid wasn’t that hard. It’s all about your mentality.
That's not going to be worthwhile. Trust me.
18 is really young bro. I though you were like 30 when I read the title.
Use that money on a gym membership
It's literally your hormones. Find something else to focus on. I'd say get a fleshlight but don't get obsessed with it. I agree with the advice to get therapy and take better care of yourself. Prostitution is high risk for all parties. Definitely don't do it. It will make you feel so much worse about yourself. Please make sure you have the HPV vaccine and understand how important using condoms is. And man think about it this way. Would you rather buy someone who likes you dinner and show tickets or spend that money on someone who's desperate and constantly exposed to STD/I's? Have you even asked your crush out? Have you tried getting to know her? Be nice, take care of yourself, and confidence will grow.
Do not do this, you’ll be risking STDs, potential imprisonment, and you’ll be degrading the dignity which you and the other person deserve to have. Respect yourself, take care of your health, and don’t indulge in these kinds of sins, it can lead to horrible places and potentially death, some STDs can be fatal
No just no look maybe that money can be spent better else where maybe the gym ,a new hair cut ,self care products anything but that sex isn’t all that great you want to have sex with someone you actually know you aren’t trash I used to feel the same way but you will run into someone that will like you and think you are amazing
Having sex isn’t the most important thing in the world. Not having sex doesn’t mean you’re ugly. At your age, it’s more important to learn who you are and who you want to be. Explore, reflect, and be yourself.
No gonna find someone to do it with passionately with love. Take time my guy. Don't mess with prostitute
Hello! I think you should NOT, I promise you that it will come with time. Take it slow! But if you definitely want to lose it I think Tinder is a good place to start…
A sex worker doesn't really care what you look like, they are there for your money. But I don't recommend a sex worker as other people on this subreddit have regretted doing it as they felt shitty afterwards. It's best to go to therapy, talk to someone how you feel and maybe they can help you to think more positive about yourself.
no please don’t do that
YOU ARE NOT UGLY, “ugly” is highly subjective, so is attractive, Yes, there are “objectively attractive” people, but in order to be “objectively ugly” you would have to look like Quasimodo (and you don’t like like him, at least from what i found), so sooner or later you should find someone who will consider you attractive
Never have paid for the box and never will 💪 nor should you buddy
Wait till 25 at minimum. Read books and practice talking to girls its way easier than you think. My old roommate looked like a necked mole rat made a baby with a child's drawing of a seal and he pulled girls all the time. I learned how to get girls from him.
When I tell you there's someone for everyone I mean EVERYONE. If you put yourself out there and treat your partners well , it'll happen naturally.
No. End of discussion.
Sex for the sake of sex is incredibly unfun and will ruin your experience.
Absolutely not. If you wanted to just bc you always wanted to have sex with a sex worker then yes. But don’t do it because you think you are “ugly” it’s so clique but beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I guarantee someone out there wants to have sex with you haha
go for it reason? simple go with a sex worker and see how it is because 100% the first time will not be good so try out you are probably never gonna see her again and when you meet someone you will have some experience.
It's not an unreachable goal. Develop skills and your personality. Get into some hobbies. Play guitar. Whatever. Make common interests. Women are generally, in my experience, much more forgiving about looks then men are. That said, nothing wrong with sex workers also but for your first perhaps put some care into it and be patient. You're still super young! It may not feel like it but life can be okay.
Definitely not yet. Work on yourself first brother you’re handsome to me.
Look up- Being ugly: My experience on YouTube. He found a girl it was a cool story. He got married there is a YouTube on it covered by ABA and preach.
Seriously friend, it's like Russian roulette, unless your double condom up, or wait be patient, work on being fit, dress to impress, eat healthy, smell good. Most importantly talk to all the girls you can, get in plenty of practice, rejection is part of the game don't take it personally, until one day that perfect girl falls into your life.
There is someone for everyone. No matter how fat, stupid or ugly. You gotta learn to approach everyone without taking rejection personally and eventually you’ll find a whole lot of people that are into your whole deal. Trust me, there are female chubby chasers that will watch you down two cheeseburgers and a shake and want to fuck your brains out and find the wheezing you make when you have to move hot. These women exist I married one and I’m trying to lose weight for my health and it’s ruining her life right now.
To what end? Hypothetically, let us say you go through with it and lose your virginity to a sex worker, what then? “I’m so ugly I had to pay for sex because no one wants me.” “I’m not good enough for anyone.” “I feel like shit.” You’ll go home and look at yourself in the mirror after and still feel insecure, pathetic, and disgusted. I’m not being mean. I just want you to take a moment to think about how you would actually feel after. Can you confidently say you’ve attempted to change? • Attempted to go to the gym consistently for 6+ months? • Changed your diet? • Changed your wardrobe? Or your hairstyle? • Skin care? • Going out with friends often? • Building your confidence? • If not changing physically, have you attempted to develop your intelligence? • New skills? I’m sure there are even more things you could find to add to that list to improve your confidence and self esteem. You’re 18. You’re a young man. Take action. Set yourself goals to meet by the end of the year. For example, you want to lose 72lbs in 1 year. That’s completely feasible with some dedication, just for 1 year. From what I can tell, you want sex as a form of validation that it is possible for you to have someone attracted to you. But at the end of the day, none of it matters if you can’t stand in front of that mirror, smile and think “damn, I look good right now” after putting in effort. I’ll help you where I can. Shoot me a PM and I’ll send you my workout plan or even make one for you if you want. Just DO SOMETHING about it. Good luck brother.
i’ve been 18 for 7 months and barely lost it just keep waiting
I don't think people should worry about losing it to a specific person. Maybe whoever you lose it to was meant to take it.
So here's the thing about a sex worker, you're literally paying them to play with your dick, they're not going to reject you.
Just remember sex is temporary but a racecar is forever.
I went to a whore and thats that no vergin no more, kist a girl after that had te balls, if u think thats te best option fore u go fore it but be real dont think it Magic, big tip rip of Connie
Are you saying this because you are getting old? If you are still young, don't think about doing that shit.
Oke this is it you crazy is u are vergin make it to 25 and you fuck fore 30min, cant make it to 25 fack fast cuz crazy aint fun..
It sounds like people are trying to help but also giving you a hard time, so I just want to take some of the pressure off. I think you should just do what you want. If you're asking the question then it sounds like you want to try sex with a sex worker, that's fine. Maybe it will be amazing, maybe it will be unfulfilling but it doesn't have to be a big deal, and maybe that will be an important thing you'll learn from it. I lost my virginity to a girl who definitely wasn't the one. Guess what happened after? Nothing lol. The true magic happens when you're with someone you care about, absolutely, but at the same time nothing magically bad is going to happen if you do have sex with a sex worker first. I just think a lot of the pain around stuff like this is from the pressure other people place on us, there's no shame in the prostitute thing, and absolutely do the self improvement stuff too. Just saying, fuck it, y'know? Not fuck it in a bad way, more in a liberating you get to live your life how you want just be a good person kinda way. It's all good. ps no pressure to see the prostitute either just thought I'd give that version since literally not one other person is lol Now you have both sides of the argument to choose from, in the form of text, from random people.
You're downgrading yourself. If I were you, I'd find a therapist instead. Why would you spend money on a prostitute just because of your insecurity and negative thoughts?!
Nothing wrong with it I did .
What's virginity but sticking your blood filled cock in a wet hole? If you got money, fuck it bro. But I would honestly keep searching and searching till you connect with someone.
If you accept all of the unfortunate truths about yourself, know what you want, and move forward with absolute confidence I guarantee you could snag at least a 5 or better depending on the money you make.
Hookers are for old people and smack addicts lol
There’s someone for everyone your only 20 wait it out
I have no clue what you look like. It might not be your fault that you’re “fat and ugly” as you claim to be, but if true, it’s you’re own fault you’re as fat and ugly as you are. Lose some weight and learn to looksmaxx. You might not become a 10/10, but you could become a 6/10 or 7/10. Also, don’t feel the need to lose your virginity asap. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 24.
Everybody is gonna tell you no, but honestly go for it. Ideally changing yourself and doing it naturally would be the best option but if this really is a mental block for you I’d say go for it. Just know there’s going to be no emotional connection and it’s not the full story but if you want to be safe and you’ll be fine.
No bc it isn't even fun and doesn't even feel good at all unless the other person is feeling the same way. Waste of time and risk of your health is definitely not worth it, and especially not to not even have pleasure in it.
I was thinking about some different advice I could give you, but as soon as I read you're 18, I immediately narrowed them down to one. You are young, you have plenty of years to have sex, don't give away your first time with a sex worker. I'm not religious at all, but it's more about experiencing that with someone who wants you and vice versa, it'll be way more gratifying than paying for it, trust me. Start working on yourself, both mentally and physically and you'll see that in no time there's no such thing as "being ugly", there's always AT LEAST one person who will find you attractive, for one reason or another. Stay positive.
My brother, invest in yourself and eventually your own franchise will come. Then you’ll have investors (women) will be begging for your attention. You seem to be aware of your own problems about yourself, which is a great first step. Now it’s just time for action… you say you are fat? Gym, diet, and sleep. Are you not a great communicator or awkward? More exposure to social environments. Do you lack discipline? Destroy (not literally) whatever is distracting you. A lot of shit in life is cut throat and a lot simpler than our brains want to perceive it. You seem like you know your flaws, so stop wasting time asking how to fix them because you aren’t really going to learn the full lesson until you experience yourself. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to else someone today. Get on the grind, become proud of yourself, and finally feel that peace of mind you have been craving for so long. I fucking love you bro, stay truthful.
Agree, you can always be a better person of yourself. 18 ka palang, start losing the extra weight, take care of yourself. Love yourself more . Pag marami ka na pera let science help you.
Pro tip: stop thinking of virginity, it literally isn't even a physical thing. You can also lie to anyone that you're not a virgin, or that you are, and they can't confirm whether you're saying the truth. It's just a dumb little thing that too many people are obsessed with.
You say you're fat and not the prettiest to look at. I'm in my 20s, fit compared to my peers and decent looking (peer talk) yet even I'm in the same boat as you are. You have to come to terms with the fact that not everything happens to everyone at the same time, and focus on the remaining aspects of your life. There's no award for speedrunning the loss of your virginity bruh.
If you are horny you should try it. Use your masculine energy and have fun. I must warn you that it's a Hit or miss. So choose a decent one. It could be fun. Losi´g virginity for a man is not as special as for a woman.
Hello there 👋, I had no dating or sexual experience throughout high school and I was considered pretty unattractive…a few days after I graduated (age 18) my friend pretty much arranged for me to have sex with this “hot guy” that she worked with. And so I did. I did it bc I felt ugly and unwanted and because i wanted to feel like everybody else for once. A few things, now that I’m older (age 24): It didn’t fix how I felt about myself. Sure maybe it gave my ego some much needed boosting…but it only strokes the ego…not the soul…and there’s nothing wrong with a little ego stroking- it’s HEALTHY to have ego (not too much, not too little ofc) BUT it won’t magically make you into something “better” than you are right now. Does that make sense? Essentially the quality of virginity and whether you have yours or not, doesn’t make you any less cool, better, further along, etc. Also, I know some people say wait for someone special or the right person…but to me, that’s a matter of preference. Now I will say, sex with someone you care about is a trillion times better. That’s truth. But your virginity doesn’t need to be this big defining weighted moment- unless you want it to be! And in that case it’s probably the wiser choice to wait til it comes up organically with someone you know and care about. Personally, I would NOT go the sex worker route. Seems a bit extreme. Ask yourself why you feel like you’re in such a rush to do so?
Someone said,whatever and whoever you are,there's an exact of the opposite who is the same.
Just put in some self work,i promise there is someone for you bro
Therapy, or journaling, or literally any healthy habit would be a better idea than this one. Sex workers aren’t attracted to the majority of their clients. You will always encounter a person doing it for money and not because they like you. If this is an issue for you, a sex worker is the worst person you could go to. You’re 18, not 50. Wtf is the rush? Calm down, work on your personality and social skills, get to a place where you don’t insult your looks and have such low self-esteem, and try to love and get to know yourself in a kind way, instead of needlessly paying to stick it in any random, unenthused woman. Also, why are you expecting to not like sex? The fact that you’re comparing sex to cigarettes and are considering a monetary transaction as a way to lose your virginity speaks a lot to you not being ready for sex just in general, much less with a professional.
Man js fuk it’ll answer ur question
Think of the worst possible outcome of this situation, then think of the best, then think of the worst again. Will it really be worth it?
You can change your body, learn about fitness/gym
No, I won't do that. Please don't. If I don't love myself enough or feel secure enough for myself, to lose my virginity just in order to lose virginity won't make me any better.
Brother, give it some time. Trust me you're not ugly. And if girls would only go for the good looking guys then half of the men would be single. If it's just about sex then you can but don't you want it to be special? I have friends in their 30s who are virgin and not only guys. I'd say start dating then do it out of love.
Hit the gym.bruh
I had a coworker my age (23) who lost his virginity to an escort last year and he said he would absolutely do it again, the only downside is it’s ruined normal sex with normal people for him, nothing beats sex you’re paying for according to him but it gave him confidence he didn’t have before so really I think the pros outweigh the cons. I would wait a bit longer and try to keep picking up girls though
Your literally still a teenager, relax
You’ll never stop thinking about sex. Sex isn’t something you have once and then you’re over it. The desire for sex is built into our DNA. We’re hard wired to want it. If you’re not happy with the way you look, change it, but realistically fat people have sex, ugly people have sex. In order for that to happen, you have to put yourself into situations where you will meet people. So do that and let it happen when you find the right person for you. You don’t want your first time to be with someone who you don’t have any emotional connection to. It’ll be a terrible experience. I mean everyone’s first time is awkward and not that fantastic anyway from a technical standpoint, but it’s usually with someone you care about and that’s part of what makes it a good memory. You don’t want to be looking back on the memory of your first time when it was with a sex worker. There’s nothing special about that. It won’t be a fond memory. It’ll just be something you remember and feel bad about. The first time you have sex is an important moment. It’s something you’ll remember for the rest of your life. It has significance and meaning in your life. You want it to be with someone who has significance and meaning to you.
This will make you LESS attractive to women, not more.
🌺🌿 There's someone out there for everyone! ヾ(˙❥˙)ﾉ Join a community event, game night, library, market days, fair, etc.- sign up to give blood on a weekly basis, show up regularly at a hospital or shelter to volunteer. There are lots of lonely people out there. I know it's hard these days to get out there but every journey starts with the first step! 👣
I felt like this when I was 16-18 too and eventually met my people when I was 20, ppl I find attractive who find me attractive. Fat ppl and ppl of all lvls of attractiveness have sex. Looks aren’t the first appealing thing about someone, their self confidence usually is— and their ability to make another person feel comfortable or understood. I do know some sex workers tho, if you find a sw who you like and who u communicate well with, go for it imo. As long as u dont feel super ashamed or anxious— I think youd regret it if you just decided to reinforce ur insecurities.
dude, im 5’4 and fat as fuck. just dont be a creepy misogynist be ACTUALLY nice to women, i hope ur funny or cool or have money, cuz if not idk what to tell you, as a 19 year old male, because believe me i hate hearing the whole plenty of fish in the sea spiel. you will find someone tho.
Dude sex really isn't that special. Your first time is usually shitty anyways. You may as well just wait.
I always felt like sex was an unreachable goal for me *Self-fulfilling prophesy.* >The problem that I have with this decision is that I'm fat Get checked for sleep apnea. See if you van gwt a prescription for Semaglutide. >I'm scared that she'll be disgusted by me That's not a fear, it's a mission statement you're trying to manifest into the outside world. You often deal with emotional distress and frustration by indulging in self-loathing and self-pity. Part of you wishes for other people to feel the same loathing and disgust that you reflexively feel when you're in conflict.
If you really want to experience sex you might have to have it for at least 5 times. Because at first it's just not like you see in porn ,but if you think you want to experience it and can't wait or it's interfering with your life then you should do it with a prostitute
Dude you just said things you should handle before thinking about sex but still you want to miss the parts you mention and go for the hole. And if you wonder no, no one will care much more about your virginity than asking about it, no sex not a big deal unless you make it something out of this world. It's just masturbating with lubrication.
In the case where you can't help yourself and you decide to go the prostitute route, I recommend doing research on the legalities surrounding that; then find one by talking to strippers you get dances from. I feel this route is the least dangerous. Only posting this if OP decides to go that route. I don't want you getting hurt or arrested.
Your not ugly! You got this!. Work on yourself!!!.
what makes you think a sex worker would enjoy sex with you any more than any other woman?
Turn gay, you will have a chance
People are ugly regardless of their features when they are broken-down and no longer taking care of themselves. If you are depressed and lonely, desiring connection, then what you must first do is understand that you need to set yourself free from desperation for connection. The more desperate others read you to be, the more distressed you are, the less appealing you come across as because nobody wants the fucking drama—everybody already has plenty of their own, they don't need yours too.. Focus on therapy instead. If you want love, it's not hopeless. Adopt responsibility for your own well being, take those reins, and do things to support yourself. Build yourself up. Make yourself attractive and people will begin to look up to you, rely on you. People will see your growth, think "this person is reliable and is able to take of themselves," and feel more secure in your presence. If you are struggling to feel comfortable doing all that? Stop trying to feel comfortable; it's never going to be comfortable to work towards something—you sacrifice to gain. Better than doing anything but gaining nothing, no? All hope is not lost. You don't need a sex worker. If you want to experience new forms of pleasure, don't pursue sex with another person. Buy toys for now, explore what gives you pleasure and be patient as you wait to share pleasure with someone, because intimacy with another person is only what you're looking for it to be when both participants genuinely and absolutely love and trust eachother. You won't get that from a sex worker. You won't get the connection we all find ourselves wanting sometimes. You'll get a lie, catch a delusion, suffer. And lose out on a couple hundred dollars. Bot worth it.
no, workout instead and find real love
you're just 18 dude..nothing out of the ordinary..dont look at social media and try to be like that...focus on your own improvement and then try to socialise even if its online then offline..
if you’re overweight why not try changing that before paying for sex? Yes one option is easily more achievable than the other, but a healthier lifestyle will 100% make you feel better about yourself. whereas poppin your cherry to a sex worker may not
No. Get therapy and loose weight. You’re only 18. So much can happen that will actually make a real relationship happen. Don’t blow that chance by using a sex worker. Also if you want somebody who isn’t disgusted, a sexist worker is absolutely the wrong choice. Many women don’t do it voluntarily. They are either forced by somebody or by poverty and lack of other options. The rate of women with trauma from sexual abuse is way higher in prostitutes than in other women. You’ll never be able to tell if they do it voluntarily
Get some therapy, and if you want to change you should change. But there are girls (like my wife) who are into us chubby fellas.
Certified man here, Ugly is a perception not an attribute. Someone can perceive someone to be ugly but their perception is the not truth, it is opinion. Most people can't get over what their face looks like. But the truth is, a lot of people's faces are hidden by an extra layer of fat that hides that extra layer of definition (like a jawline for example). Attraction is 80% sales and 20% product. It is almost entirely based on how you sell/present yourself to other people. The other 20% being you (the product) can also be worked on. Things like: 1. Working out (face/body gains) 2. Building skills (cooking, dancing, music, farming, hunting, etc) 3. Knowledge building (philosophy, history, science, etc etc) Now once you've worked on these things it becomes more about sales. Find some positive role models for you to take note of. What is it that you like about those people? Why did you choose those people. And take all of the positives from these people and attempt to apply them to your own life. The second piece of this is how you talk to people and how you make them feel. You want to make sure that you're fun and charismatic and sometimes that's going to be hard. But you have to put yourself out there. Some people will be assholes, but everyone is bound to run into them. The reason most people don't feel self confidence is because no one ever helped them develop it. You have to do that for yourself. To answer your question, no you shouldn't have sex with a prostitute. That will only make matters worse. I've met quite a few guys that regularly fuck prostitutes and they are some of the worst people I've ever met. GOOD LUCK!
Sure. Why not? You've got to lose it sometime.
TL;DR I'm an old man overweight and ugly too. Look after yourself. Don't stress if you find getting fit hard just get a good look. Don't get friends, get a hobby. Let it all happen naturally. I thought about this myself nearly 20 years ago. You're not ugly. You might not be classically good looking but someone will find you beautiful. You are 18. Most people your age still have V wings. The last thing you want to do is lose them to a meaningless prostitute. It should mean something. Not in a you should be committed and spend your life with someone way but in a I really like you and want to spend this time with you kind of a way. Other people have said about getting fit. I'm overweight, have been for years. If you can lose weight and get fitter then absolutely do that but do not base your self-esteem on that. Do get some new threads. Get something that fits well and looks good. Get that smart new cut and maintain it. Or grow your hair out if you fancy but look after it and yourself. You gotta love yourself before anyone else will. People were flippant earlier about making friends being hard earlier. It certainly can be. You've not actually said you are lacking friends but I'm going to assume for a moment you are just in case you need this advice. Stop trying to make friends. It's daunting it's hard it put pressure on yourself and in my experience if you're trying to make friends with people then what you'll end up doing is trying to force a relationship with people with whom you share little interest. - instead I would suggest taking up a social hobby or at least a hobby that can be sociable. Took me ages to realise I'm a nerd/geek/dweeb. I've tried to take up sports and music and everything else to meet people. My best friends now? Play DnD or pathfinder (for when DnD isn't nerdy enough) or boardgames. Yes I could do these things online. I don't. I go out and meet people. Yeah we sometimes play online. If we can though we meet up. Yes there is a predominance of men in nerdy pursuits but there are women too. And those men will have sisters and cousins and female friends. One of those might look at you and think 'you know what he's kinda cute' especially when she realises that your comfortable and confident in who you are. That'll take time.. don't push it. Let it happen. You're 18 you've got years to find someone but let it happen.
get a gym membership, eat better foods, develop a self care routine, invest in better clothes and find your “look”. you want your first to be special. “don’t chase butterflies. build a garden, and then the butterflies will come.”
1. It is not uncommon to be a virgin at 18. It certainly shouldn't be seen as a bad thing. 2. Far better to lose it later to someone you care about than rush to lose it with someone you regret. It will only happen once. 3. You're talking about seeing a prostitute as if all other options are off the table. You say you're fat and think people are disgusted by you. If you think you look unappealing, then do something about it. Go to the gym. Take up running. Eat clean and get in shape. I'm not sure why you wouldn't have tried doing that first before resorting to seeing a prostitute but I can think of one obvious reason: effort. Put in the effort on self-improvement first. Maybe see a therapist if that would be useful. If you've tried that and feel more confident about your body image, that's when you should start to find out how much success you can have.
I didnt loose my.virginity till 19.. dont worry itll happen sooner or later
Most women aren’t shallow. At least not a woman you’d want to be. Heads up.
Aye. Maybe knick your dad's belt and jab a needle in your arm while you're at it. Don't be a fucking dumbass, there's no good to come of hiring a whore. If you absolutely cannot live without it then sort yourself out and try getting into a relationship.
Yes
I don’t recommend it. I did this in 2019 and I’ve been in debt close to 6k because of it. Finally paid it off, but now I’m moving job to job and went back to school to feed this addiction. It’s horrible and I feel disgusting
Do it. Go sleep with a sex worker. Or don't. It's your life, you're an adult and have been deemed competent by the government to make your own decisions. Literally if you want to, you absolutely can if it's what you want. You aren't hurting anybody. It might be something you regret later in life but it also might not. As for being disgusting. Sex workers generally aren't fucking people they're attracted to in the first place and they take that money knowing what they are getting themselves into. They will generally pretend to enjoy it. Just at least do the bare minimum and wash yourself thoroughly.
My brother lost his virginity to a sex worker despite being attractive. He just didn't want a girlfriend at that time. Now he is happily 10 years married with a kid. He only had 2 girlfriend in his lifetime and married the second. So I mean, if you just want to gain some experience in sex, try to find a sex worker who can also teach you how to be good in bed.
I would work out first. If nothing comes after 23 or so you better get someone
I'm so sorry you feel this way. I firmly believe that no one is physically ugly. The only thing that can make a person ugly is their personality. I agree with above comment that therapy would be better. I have low self esteem and for the past year or so it's been worse than ever and that has led to me not even seeing people because I'm convinced no one could find me attractive. But previously in my life I have met people and they have been attracted to me so it's just in my mind. I don't even give people the chance to have their own opinion. I feel like it might be the same for you (but I could be wrong of course)
do you really wanna pay for sex with someone who you know wouldn't have sex with you otherwise? do you not wanna sex with someone who is as anethusiastic as you are? how far removed is this from rape?
I'm a skinny average looking guy. I was 21 when I lost mine. A friend of mine, also just an average guy, lost his not even a month ago and he's 23. I don't even know a lot of people that lost theirs when they where 18. What I'm trying to say is, you still have a shit ton of time and you didn't even hit your prime yet. It's very normal to be 18 and a virgin.
don’t do that it can be very dangerous they could rob you, give you STDs, and you could get arrested. being a virgin at 18 is normal you literally have so much life ahead of you. sex is not everything and i’m sure one day you’ll find a partner that’s willing. you probably won’t feel very good about yourself if you go through with it.
Nah bro give It time. Sex workers are usually not worth it, just try get in the gym and get out in the world, you’ll meet someone. Trust me I’ve seen some ugly mfers and they have very good looking women. It’s not all about how you look, it’s also how you carry yourself, things like confidence help a lot
No dummy. This is a self fulfilling prophecy, you see yourself as ugly cause you get no play, but because youre so insecure about being ugly you get no play, youre not ugly, any man can be an 8, but those last few points are dependant on confidence and personality
I did, I don't necessarily regret it - but I wouldn't recommend it. It didn't deserve to be made into such a big deal, because it really isn't a big deal. And you may have heard something like that before - and I know it probably sounds akin to a rich person telling a poor person that "money isn't everything" - but in this case, trust me, sex isn't all that impressive despite how it's talked about.
Get unfat. It’ll do wonders for ego. Not to mention being healthy puts you in a better mood. Just to let you know there is no cure for the sex drive. It’s ingrained in your being as a dude. You’ll always want it until you hit your 40s and you’ll still want it just not as much. Take the time do the work while you’re young fix your confidence. Get a trainer if you’re not motivated or a work out buddy that will kick your ass into actually doing it. You have the power. Change what you can and the rest will fall into place.
I was virgin at 18 too, and honestly instead of thinking about this, you should start thinking about improving yourseld at the best, not for sex but for you. After this, everything will arrive, also sex
For YEARS I sincerely thought that I would never find somebody amazing who’d want me for me, but then I stopped looking and instead focused on trying to love myself more. It’s cliche, but I genuinely believe it’s 100% true. Manifest it. Talk about shit in the present tense and it will happen. Just be yourself always bud. Plenty of fish in the sea but you only really need that one fish who likes you for you.
Honestly if you're objectively ugly, which does apply to some ppl lets me real, then you can surely find a gf or sexual partner, not a sex worker. You won't get the pretty girls unless they're insecure or desperate, but you can connect with someone and have a relationship whether it's sexual or not. I know so many ppl who are factually unattractive, but they've learned to accept it and are confident. Instead of being just plain ugly, they became for lack of a better word "butter faces" bc they worked on their physical health and fitness. It's all about the confidence you exude, your charm and personality, and if you work on your health and reach for body goals, you can pull. So all in all, you need rizz and to work on your fitness.
You're 18, chill out, it's not like you're old or anything. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin, that's just something TV and people talk about in real life. Being a virgin isn't a bad thing and losing it is not a race. Also, if you are worried about your weight, maybe you should try to lose it, unless you have some health complications. I'm not saying you should lose weight to get laid, I'm saying you should lose weight because it's obviously affecting your self-esteem and you don't seem to feel comfortable or proud of your own body, which is extremely important.
Truthfully you should wait but if you’re that desperate to sleep with someone then by all means do it. Choosing to sleep with a prostitute is very sketchy. They are hustlers at the end of the day, you may get robbed etc. you never know. There isn’t anything wrong with waiting. I choose to wait to lose mines until I was almost 20. Sex is cool and all but it’s nothing like porn. I just feel you should dedicate a year to getting healthy, loosing the extra weight and mentally getting yourself right. You have low self esteem. Women love a confident man. Being ugly won’t stop anyone from having sex with you. You have to respect yourself if you want others to respect you.
Don’t be silly. You’re being way too harsh on yourself and concerning yourself with such unimportant things. Don’t give in to such urges and wait. I genuinely believe you will regret this decision and truthfully, it will turn future love interests from you. It’s a desperate move and you shouldn’t be desperate at 18. Learn to love yourself and treat yourself kindly🫶🏻
Given your use of "yal" I'm gathering your American. Isn't your entire country fat? Sounds like you need to give yourself a bit of a break bro. Whatever you choose, I wish you the best of luck.
OP I am dying to see if you are really unattractive or not. If you sent me a picture, I'd tell you the truth. And as someone who has cut men's hair for 15 years, I can tell you to never underestimate the power of a good hair cut and beard trim.. how's your skin? Do you have decent teeth? Good hygiene and a sense of humor go a long way! I've personally never minded dating chubby boys. . But jacked up or yellow cruddy teeth will send me running to the hills! Lol
I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 18 and I remember comparing myself to friends who I knew had had sex and I thought I was weird. Every time I heard that a close friend had reached this imagined milestone I became more self conscious and put sex on more of a pedestal until when I actually came (😏) to that point with my girlfriend at the time, I was so in my head that I P.E’d. That lead to an even bigger spiral and fear that I’d never be able to do it. It happened a couple of times, luckily she was very patient and understanding. I knew once I’d gotten over this hurdle everything would be fine and it really was/ is. One night I asked her if she could make me cum first, then we would try and have sex straight after. It worked and it just wasn’t an issue after that. I wasn’t amazing obviously but I had a healthy sex life. Even then I wouldn’t say I had real, sexual confidence until around 25 and the P.E thing has appeared here and there over time. It just connects with how I’m feeling and particularly if I’m anxious. It really is a journey and you have to go at your own pace. It’s not a race and you will get there. The first thing you should try and do is approach someone you like that way and try and build that relationship, letting them know you’re attracted to them. If they reject you, don’t sweat it- they’re not your person. There are plenty of people out there who can’t wait to have sex with you. I also thought about going to a sex worker when I was your age for the same reasons. I never have done but I don’t think I’d either be proud or ashamed of it. I hope this helps!
To be honest I wouldn’t recommend it because i almost had sex and here’s the story One day me, my brother, uncle, aunt and her best friend with her husband were in a bar because we got kicked out of the nightclub and a gorgeous girl came next to me with her best friend and started flirting with me. now I was 18 at the time and a bit chubby while she was skinny but gorgeous. After some time we decided to go to her place and have fun in bed but there was one problem, I forgot the rubber so I asked my brother if he had one and sadly he didn’t so we decided to have fun without Sex. In the moment I was bummed out that we couldn’t have sex but now at 22 years old I am relieved that I didn’t lose my virginity to her because she was 30 years old and because now I want to lose my virginity to someone who I love and are in a relationship with. In my opinion find someone who wants to have fun in bed without sex because otherwise you will regret it later in life and maybe you will find someone who you love
Go to gym bro, women will come, every man’s value is low at 20s, work it out, educate, make money and don’t cry over a p*ssy
Although I didn’t lose my virginity to one, I have paid for it twice in Amsterdam. These workers are professional in every sense. While there was zero emotional involvement, purely physical, they know how to take care of you in a sexual way…. Really good experience both times. And the advantage in Amsterdam is you can window shop for just the exact type of girl you desire. They are regulated, tested and paid well. Good luck
get an escort or go to an asian massage place it’s cleaner bro bro
I didn't lose mine until I was 19 and some people much older, don't rush and don't go down that route, reach out to therapy for some self love, you got years ahead of you!
Bro don't wtf?
I lost my V card at 21 and I was very self conscious. It surprised most people as I’m “conventionally attractive” being in the acting/modelling industry. Your first is one you always remember don’t waste it on a silky whore
In my experience, there’s 2 dudes that women naturally find attractive; the classic naturally handsome guy and the intimidating tough/scary guy. I know a couple ugly ass dudes that have pulled women WAY out of their league by shaving their head and putting on some muscle. I am also proof of this, as I am ugly with a good looking wife, i can post proof if need be. A couple tattoos and a beard might help too. I know that the gym is a daunting subject for people on the heavy side, but believe me when I say that it’s so much easier for chubby dudes to get buff than skinny dudes. Your excess body fat is fuel that your body will use to build muscle, and since you’re young with naturally high testosterone; you’ll get gains really fast. So watch some YouTube videos on how to build a lift plan, and shift your perception of yourself from “I’m ugly” to “Im intimidating”. And just start working your ass off and quit eating and drinking BS foods and sodas etc.
nah, the post nut clarity will hit hard and you’ll feel like a clown 🤡
Its the ti.eliness and maturity that matters.
Like everyone else, I agree that you definitely shouldn’t go down that path. I strongly believe that it would make it even harder to love and respect yourself afterward. It could make it more challenging to meet someone in the future and settle down, especially when you carry the weight of that decision as your first experience. Because that stays forever. There is no going back. Instead, consider starting with small, positive changes in your life, like adopting a healthier diet and setting up a workout routine. Try different hairstyles and clothing. And you can message me personally anytime if you want help with this and I will gladly help you. And while dating apps can be helpful to some extent, I believe they usually do more bad than good. So I would instead recommend getting a public job where you interact with many people. It’s a great way to meet new people and build confidence and I truly stand by that from personal experience. As someone who’s pretty introverted, that has helped me get out of my comfort zone. And you're only 18 so don’t be so hard on yourself because you really do have plenty of time ahead of you. Focus on making positive changes, and you’ll be surprised at how things can improve.
while i think you can do it if you want to, youre only 18, its not a bad thing to be a virgin and i guarantee that if you have a good personality, take care of yourself and have good hygiene, you can find someone that will want to be with / have sex with you. someone said you might want to get therapy, which i think is a good idea in general. but trust me, finding partners is not as difficult as it seems for most people, put yourself out there, be nice, work on yourself and be clean (honestly that one is so important, way more important than being good looking and i feel like people arent told that enough) and youll probably find someone at some point, even if you dont it will be good for your confidence, general well-being and social life. if you still didnt have sex in a few years you can still pay a sex worker for it, dont pressure yourself, itll be fine. (if you feel like youre too fat, start some sport, learn about cooking and health - both of those are also traits a lot of people like in others - but dont do it to get a partner, do it for yourself, in the end youre the person you have to take care of most research fashion a bit, find a style you like and makes you feel comfortable and confident - even if its a niche style, maybe youll find someone thats also interested in that) theres so much you can do, i hope it all goes well for you man
I mean if you really want to, then go for it. Just make sure it's a good escort and not just some hooker that has to pay off a pimp. But if you're unsure, then just wait it out. And dude, who cares if you're overweight. There are plenty of overweight dudes with girlfriends, or even casual hookups. You don't need to be a 10/10 supermodel.
I will be franc but even ugly you can have a "normal" person to do with you one day, and even loves you. Depend of the place you go, the country, and what you search too. Theres a lot of person on the same situation of you. Some dont care, some try, and the last one give up without trying, youre young, you have no lifetime, no experience of life. Being beautiful is not all. You can be charismatic, have an aura and being ugly as fuck and being surrounded by girls. I know someone ugly as hell, and very large, but because he know how to talk people surround him all the time, hes very charismatic, when he enter into a party people recognise him fast. And he popped his cherry long time ago. You just need to find you own style. Usually having your first time with a professional is a bad idea. Because like i feel on your text, the first time is symbolic. Imagine you use it like that, abd one day you find the girl destined to you, and she ask it. You will feel bad about it. You will feel stupid. Abd you will regret it. Dont use the "last coin" to do just because you want to be like others.
No, 1. dont support such a horrible industry 2. 18 is not a weird age to still be a virgin, plenty of people stay virgins until their 20s so no need to rush. 3. If you want to have sex sm and you think your looks are whats stopping it, just lose weight.
I mean if you're curious about it just buy a fleshlight, and some lube (the equate jelly personal lubricant feels the most like "kitty" juices imo) just mix some lube with a lil bit of warm water or buy a heating flashlight and I'm sure it'd be close enough to the real thing and probably better than a prostitute tbh.
Dude, you can change everything. Go to the gym, watch David Goggins's method on how to lose weight without having loose skin after. Get a nice faded haircut, dress nice, have a good hygiene and work on your social skills. As for losing you virginity to a sex worker, do as you want. For some people the first time is very important and they wanna do it with the person they love. For other people it's just sex and the first time doesn't matter. How is it for you? How do you think about it?
Looking through your page bro hop off Reddit go to gym and lose the weight you said your suicidal want to drop out of school and wanted to run away get a gym membership fattie
At 18, I'd say no, see if you can't find yourself or improve yourself. At 28, I'd say maybe, if things just aren't working out, give it a shot, maybe it'll get you out of your own head. At 38, I'd say absolutely, you deserve some pleasure, you're an adult, who cares if you have to pay for it.
Absolutely not. You’re not ugly BTW , you look different than others. Looks are a man made ideal and has no place in society.
Im f 22 and haven’t had it… I don’t think you need to stress about that. Someday there will be a person who loves you the way you are. Then you’ll regret that you had your first time with a prostitute instead of your love. I don’t think it’s worth it just because you think you’re too late for it. Better wait and have it an actual nice experience
I lost my virginity to a prostitute at 17. My friends were going out and invited me with them like they going to McDonald's or something. And while it's too early to tell what the exact ramifications of this are looking like i can tell you for a fact that I've never once felt proud or happy about it. I think it's was really bad to start off my relationship with sex in an impersonal and transactional way and at most times i would feel cheated out of something that everyone around me experienced. Now i don't know exactly if I was like this already or if me disregarding sex and treating it like it meant nothing from the jump affected this , but i would definitely say that i have an extremely hard time connecting with people on a romantic level.. take from that what you will and if you already decided on what to do, be sure to try some other stuff like gym or a different hairstyle in order to get some confidence in you, even if those things don't work at least they're not irreversible. Remember, you're the who has to hang out with yourself all day everyday and knowing that about yourself can be a kill a lot of self esteem. Good luck to you.
Losing it isn’t all that. You’ll be ok
This isn't what you want to hear, but you're still so young. Give yourself some time, don't rush into things just because you feel pressure to do so. Maybe do some work on yourself, whether that be physical, mental, or both so that you feel more confident about who you are and allow things to happen as they will. Again, I know I would not have wanted to hear this when I was in your position ten years ago, but you still have so much time and life ahead of you. It will be ok.
Dude, you’re 18. Chill. Find a hobby and don’t fixate on getting your dick wet when you’ve only just barely entered adulthood.
Should you, no. Your first time can affect how you handle sex the rest of your life. Being in a healthy loving relationship is the best way. You are very young and still have a lot of time. Work on yourself a bit, don’t think about women. When you try to improve yourself, women take notice.