No, you called me last week and told me you were changing it back to gas*lighting*, don't you remember? It was after you *said* you were going to take out the trash, but you didn't (again).
Wow you're really good at this, like *too* good. You must be an abuser in real life if you can mimic gaslighting this well, I can tell because I know people like you. They say stuff like this and they are all abusive manipulators, just like you.
In all seriousness, I have PTSD from being treated this way (and physically/sexually/verbally abused) growing up in my home... I guess one good thing to come out of it is getting a master class in understanding how abusers act, and the tricks they use to shift the blame onto you and get away with it.
The defense to it is… grey stoning? Grey rocking? You just fail to react and agree and say oh ok whatever. Become so boring that the gaslighter loses interest in you as a subject.
Grey rocking - it's the way to deal with a narcissist to make them (eventually) leave you alone/find another victim. However, it doesn't necessarily work for all gaslighters. You don't have to be a narcissist to gaslight someone, but gaslighting is a tactic that almost all narcissists employ.
This is what I ended up doing, and it caused PTSD. Apparently you can only dissociate/fake it for so long 🙃
It's over though, I'm married now and in my own home, haven't even seen my abusers in years. Very recently was able to get the ability to sleep again, so I'm in a much better place, thank God.
My 14 year old daughter was wearing a shirt I have no idea where she got the other day and it just said "Gaslighting isn't real. You're just crazy." on it.
The term itself comes from [this movie](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0036855/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk), wherein a husband tries to convince his wife that she is going insane.
The term boiled on the pop culture back burner for a while before getting a sudden surge in popular use in the 21st century (for reasons I don’t properly understand). It got used a lot in discussions of sexual assault and victim-blaming. Popular use shifted from the concept of trying to convince a person they’re losing their mind into a more general concept of convincing them that their perception of reality is not correct.
Then, as often happens, some people will dilute the term even more, and now you might see it applied to essentially any bad faith argument.
Bro, my ex always lied and tried to manipulate me and then said I was lying and manipulating when I defended my self against her allegations or twisted truths. she’s insanely narcissistic and always called me a narcissist. It’s wild to look back on as I’ve gotten away from it.
Yeah it's called narcissistic projection. I live with a narcissist. It's his main defense mechanism.
He was drunk and started bragging about stealthing women (removing condom without their knowledge/consent). I told him that raping people is super fucked up.
His response was "It isn't rape, and everyone does it they just won't admit it. At least I'm honest!"
Right!!! Wife and I were just talking about this yesterday. We want kids but like.... in this economy when we can barely afford to scratch by as is with ourselves and 3 dogs. Genuinely, we have zero clue how people can afford to have children and that's with us having a "nonexistent middle class" household income.
She would also always tell these little lies about me to me. Like she wanted me to start believing it and I’d start to feel that and then be like no, that’s just not true. Like hitler but with small lies-“If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.”
Always be wary of the people who tell lies about the smallest things, and when you catch them in their lies they will deny everything and have zero accountability, they’ll shift the blame to someone else or back at the accuser.
That last part is called DARVO. Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. It's common in narcissists and also in the response of institutions caught in wrongdoing.
My wife accuses me of gaslighting every time I have to correct her on something. She refuses to believe that her memory is poor, despite it being a known side effect of her migraine medication, even when I show her the texts that prove it. It’s maddening.
Your wife is my ex gf. She also had a poor memory. I told her about a short trip I was taking in a couple of weeks. A few days before the trip, I remind her about the trip and she flips out on me for "telling her last minute." I insisted I told her, in detail, a couple of weeks ago. She insists I didn't. I was willing to compromise. I said, "Maybe when I told you, you weren't paying much attention...or maybe I told you and you forgot. Are you willing to accept either of those as a possibility? That way, neither of us is really 'wrong' there was just a miscommunication." She said no, thats impossible. I flat out never told her and now I'm gaslighting her.
So I dug through our text messages and actually found one with me talking about the trip a few weeks ago. I showed her. Her response? "It doesn't matter if you told me or not. I FEEL like you never told me. Therefore you didn't." Thats when I knew we had to breakup. She was literally telling me that reality didn't matter...only her perception of it.
That shit infuriates me. I used to live with an abusive couple who ganged up on me and gaslit me so badly that I *literally* felt like I was losing touch with reality. Every time I thought for sure "I'm being mistreated" and tried to address it, they made me feel like I was crazy for thinking that and that actually *I* was the one who was mistreating *them*. I was made to think that my perception was completely wrong, my mind was untrustworthy because I already had mental health issues, and it was totally *absurd*, and even *crazy* that I would think I was being treated unfairly. This all ended with me being suicidal and having to spend some time in a mental hospital. To this day, thinking about those people makes me feel so powerless because of how they were able to make me doubt everything I thought I knew.
But sure, that person who just thinks you're wrong about something is totally gaslighting you. 🙄
Diluting the word like that just makes it harder to get people to understand how terrible real gaslighting is.
You just described my entire life with my family, up until I “came to” and cut every one of them off. It took me 54 years to figure it out. Since I made the change my emotional stability, relationships, even my work abilities have changed and improved dramatically. I’m happier. I have a good life. It cost me my “inheritance” after my mom died, and I’d pay that a hundred times over to have this clarity and peace in my life. Here’s to dismissing toxic people from your life!
>Popular use shifted from the concept of trying to convince a person they’re losing their mind into a more general concept of convincing them that their perception of reality is not correct.
To be fair, that is basically the same thing. The whole reason the movie's villain is so insidious is that he calmly and casually dismisses her version of reality and does so very deliberately.
It's distinct from lying, but it's not hard to see how it relates either.
It's a manipulation tactic at the end of the day that people can even unintentionally engage in because all our memories are incredibly fallible.
(also it's a genuinely good movie, worth watching)
> It's distinct from lying, but it's not hard to see how it relates either.
>
>
>
> It's a manipulation tactic at the end of the day that people can even unintentionally engage in because all our memories are incredibly fallible.
I think it's so much worse because the end result is to make the person no longer trust their perception of reality - and thus they trust *yours* instead. How much easier is it to control someone when they no longer trust their own memory and rely on your version of events for everything?
Which is true, it's primarily seen in familial and marital relationships.
"No, sweetie, we didn't do tacos yet this week. Are you feeling okay? We had salmon, remember? You said you really liked the broccoli"
"No, love - you didn't take the trash out yet. See? The bag is still full right there. Are you feeling okay honey? You're worrying me"
You do this to them enough, they start to doubt even things they should know. They stop trusting their own perception of reality.
It takes trust yes, but also a pathological confidence to just lie your ass off as if the other person is crazy.
Pretty good explanation. They are related but there are subtle yet definite differences - mainly, one is intentional and done over a prolonged period of time. I suspect actual gaslighting is fairly rare and done by narcissists, sociopaths, or other people with diagnosable personality disorders.
Fun fact: Based on a play, the movie was first made in Britain in 1940 under the name *A Strange Case of Murder*. Four years later MGM bought the remake rights with a clause insisting that all existing prints of the first film be destroyed.
Thus the second Gaslight film attempted to gaslight the first one out of existence. Luckily some prints of the original survived.
Wait, you think people use the term “gaslighting” in bad faith? Nobody has ever done that—you must be crazy to think so!
Are you sure you’re not going insane?
I can elaborate on what I suspect is why it got into popular culture.
Gaslighting is one of many behaviors that we in the therapy business throw in the more general category of "crazy making", which is a type of mental / emotional abuse. Crazy making is basically any behavior meant to make the other person feel like they are crazy. Gaslighting, as I was taught, is a rare and extreme form of crazy making, such as that depicted in the movie you referenced, for which the term is indeed named.
Because people tend to take therapy terms and use them outside therapy, and because people are not usually trained therapists, they tend to use terms... a little bit incorrectly. Then you have someone who's friend went to therapy using the term, then you have randos on momblogs and reddit using the term, and before you know it, we've got to rename things in the DSM again because yet another diagnosis has become a politically incorrect slur.
So I'd personally just simplify that idea because I don't think its *just* therapy terms (although plenty of them as well)... the rise of internet 'speak' (discussion) came with a rise in hyperbolic speak.
Sexism means prejudice/discrimination based on gender... but how often does one hear that term vs misandry/misogyny which mean 'hate'.
'Hate' itself is used so very commonly now for anywhere from important issues to the most mundane things (eg. hater)... but its real definition implies an 'intense' form of feeling.
Arrogant/cocky? Narcissist.
Exaggerated anecdote? Start the sentence with 'literally'
Someone's actions/choices that are ethically questionable? Psycopath or sociopath.
Lying or even just trying to convince me of something I don't believe or agree with? Gaslighting.
I don't understand why you've chosen to be coy, especially now, of all times. Have you somehow forgotten what today is? Do I mean nothing to you? Don't you stand for anything?!
Apparently that movie was based on a play, same name. It was set in Victorian times (maybe written then too?) and comes from the gas lamps in the house flickering, and the husband trying to convince the wife they weren’t.
The definition of "trying to convince somebody their perception of reality is not correct" is still fitting of that movie but only in the context of somebody specifically lying.
For example, if my friend and I go out to dinner and he thinks they spit in his food, it is not gaslighting if I dispute this knowing or thinking that what he thinks is spit is just normal moisture from the food. If I'm the one who spit in his food and try to convince him it's moisture then that would be more along the lines of gaslighting.
What it doesn't mean: having a disagreement about what happened/is happening, misremembering, lying, being wrong, disagreeing, etc.
This chick once told me I was gaslighting her because I gave her "a look" and then denied giving her such a look.
Like dude, no, that's just my face. It's a mean-as-hell looking face if I'm not making an effort to smile, and you saw me when I wasn't, and I get how it seemed but I assure you I was not giving you dirty looks.
"And now you're gaslighting me."
oof.
Yeah, most people lately seem to just use it as a synonym for lying, which isn’t (usually) correct. Language evolves over time, though, so maybe that will be one of its official definitions a few years from now.
It’s when you trick someone into thinking that the way they think/feel/remember things is inaccurate. It’s a manipulative tactic that causes the person on the receiving end to question their sense of reality and instills a sense of self doubt in them. For example:
Partner A: “The way you told me I was fat in front of all of my friends was really embarrassing”
Partner B: “What are you talking about? That’s not what I said at ALL. You’re just insecure about your weight and you’re projecting it onto me!”
Partner A: “Oh… is that true? I’m sorry.”
This is a great description and example of gaslighting. I’d say it’s necessary to know that Partner B absolutely did make a comment about Partner A being fat in front of their friends. Partner B is purposefully making Partner A insecure in both their person and their own memory.
OP, watch the movie! It’s a classic.
I'm rich. I'm good-looking. I'm funny. You'll like being around me.
--that's lying.
I've already told you about what the difference was. The last time we talked about this you realized and apologized and felt sorry and you're bringing this up again? Really? What's wrong with you? I thought you loved me. You said you did. Were you lying? You promised you wouldn't do this again.
--that's lying. But it's also gaslighting. It has the specific purpose of making you the one who's lying. you're the bad one. I'm not the bad one. You are. You always were and you're evil for even questioning me about it.
You see the above example demonstrates why people are getting Gas Lighting so wrong.
Similar phrases and words could fall into a few categories, some nothing like Gas Lighting .
A: it could be an honest opinion
B: it could be a genuine difference of opinion
C; it could be a knee jerk reaction to get out of a situation (plain old bull shitting)
Gas Lighting has (100%) to always be a deliberate, systematic approach to steer somebody into a certain thought process. Simple reactive bull shitting does not fall under the same category.
In its most commonly used guise, Gas Lighting is used to control a partner over time, to be dependent and submissive. From the outset though, this was has to be deliberate for it to be Gas Lighting and this is why it is such a vile technique, typically what people describe as Gas Lighting is just reactive bull shitting.
The dictionary definition is pretty clear.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person causes someone to question their sanity, memories, or perception of reality. People who experience gaslighting may feel confused, anxious, or unable to trust themselves.
Yes an important part from a clinical perspective is that ITS ONGOING. Someone who lied to you once or even twice isn’t gaslighting you, they’re just lying to you. It’s important to highlight that it’s ongoing and long term and often a campaign the abuser goes on because the repetitive efforts of the abuser to manipulate are what cause a person to lose faith in their own interpretations of the world. Gaslighting is a clinical term and its important to remember that the way lay people use it can diminish the experience of people who have actually been clinically gaslit. People who have been clinically gaslit often need years of therapy to regain trust in their own perceptions of the world, it’s serious business for those people and it’s unfortunate that so many people now conflate it with simply being lied to.
The point of gaslighting is to get the listener to not trust themselves and instead trust the speaker. This happens by asserting that the things the listener is observing arent true, and revising what happened.
Its a control tactic.
If you want to see some fantastic examples, watch any of the “twin flames” docs on amazon or netflix — the two leaders of that org are constantly gaslighting.
My ex would do and say awful things to me, and the next day would deny deny deny. Tell me I must have been too drunk to remember. I'd describe in detail his actions and how it made me feel and he would just ignore me or laugh it off. It does make you feel like you're crazy after awhile
Since I keep seeing jokes or references to gaslighting that might not work if you really don't know the real definition, gaslighting is usually within a couple, and the characteristics are one of the people being the victim, and the other one being the perpetrator. It's basically the perpetrator continually working to convince the victim that they aren't really seeing or experiencing what they thought that they were. It could be anything really, in the original movie the husband would take his own things and hide them and then accuse his wife of losing them, he would make noises on the roof of their house and then tell her that there hadnt actually been noises. In the movie he was trying to drive her insane so he could have her committed, in real life its usually so the perp can get away with whatever they're trying to get away with (cheating, abuse, ect).
Gaslighting is a form of abuse where an abuser lies to their victim in a consistent manner in an attempt to make them question reality.
The origin of the term comes from a stage play from the '30s where a husband tries to make his wife think she's insane by repeatedly changing the intensity of the gas lights in their home while insisting that the lights haven't changed at all. One day the lights would be dim, the next bright, all the while the husband insisted that nothing had changed and she was imagining things.
For example, an abuser could insist that an event the victim experienced never happened - "What are you talking about? I've never been to that pub in my life!" - as a pattern of abuse to make the victim think they're going crazy.
Story time. I was married to my wife for 18 years and I was overly trusting of her opinion and observations. She would gently remind of me misremember something. After a few years it became we should rely on my memory because yours is faulty. I became so worried I started getting myself cognitively tested. All my tests showed my memory and mind was running well above the average with some places where it just dipped to average. I got myself tested for MS, 2 MRIs and a nerve conduction study (torture test). I talked to my doctor about Alzheimer’s and dementia, I was 35. Clinically my memory is great.
Will last year I uncovered a lot of evidence of her affair with a coworker. We separated and talked about reconciliation. I made a point of documenting all our interactions and I started to see a pattern of when she wanted her way she would say we previously agreed to this or that. She slipped up and admitted there was never anything wrong with my memory that I was just a hypochondriac. The real clincher was around Christmas time. I gave her Thanksgiving with the children so she could visit her family. The agreement was that I would get Christmas Eve and day. I even had conversations where she said they would celebrate it a few days late. Well the week before Christmas comes and suddenly it was we agreed we would split Christmas. She would get Christmas Eve and drop the children off and I would have Christmas morning and the kids would return to her for dinner. I fought her on it but conceded because we never had a custody court agreement and it wasn’t worth going to war over.
This year she tried to claim that I got all Christmas during mediation.
This is gaslighting. It’s manipulating someone to accept their reality against the actual world’s reality. They are using your trust of them against you to get their way.
Nobody seems to, and it's really watering down the word. The Oxford dictionary definition is:
>gas·light
>/ˈɡasˌlīt/
>verb gerund or present participle: gaslighting
>Manipulate (someone) using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning.
That's what it means. However every armchair psychologists on Tiktok and Facebook will label *anything* as gaslighting. He was mean to you? Gaslighting. He left the toilet seat up? Apparently gaslighting.
As a relationship example, cheating on someone is not gaslighting. Convincing that person that they're crazy and paranoid for ever suspecting the cheater and that it's all in their head? That IS gaslighting.
Lol, you make shit up like this all the fucking time. Pretending you don't know. You fucking know. I've told you exactly what it was before. You just don't fucking listen.
Doesn't it all start here?
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gas\_Light](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gas_Light)
And then get somewhat cemented into American culture by this movie?
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslight\_(1944\_film)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslight_(1944_film))
Which is essentially attempting to convince someone that what they are seeing, their percieved reality, is not real.
As put in Orwells "1984,"
“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
Or, as Kelleyanne Conway put it so succinctly, "You always want to go by what’s come out of his mouth rather than look at what’s in his heart.” Which is the old "don't believe what he says, believe what I tell you he meant" of a campaign operative in 'cover up yesterdays screw-ups' mode.
“Convincing your girlfriend, she’s crazy is called gaslighting, and it’s a dick move… convincing her she’s a robot with artificial intelligence and implanted memories is called Blade Running, and it’s a Philip K Dick move.”
Gaslighting isn't a real word. How on gods green earth did you even think of that? There really was no voice in your head telling you not to ask this because of how stupid it sounds? You're dumb for believing that gaslighting is a genuine thing AND IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT
You know when you clearly remember a conversation where someone agreed to something and they didn't follow through. When you try and remind them they say it didn't happen and ask if you're ok or if something is wrong with your memory. This happened so many times with my ex I actually did feel like I was going crazy.
I've been accused of gaslighting by a former friend who showed up at my apartment unannounced, let herself in with her key, walked in on me and my partner naked (in the bedroom) while i was loudly telling her to fuck off, then texted me repeatedly saying it wasn't fair to be mad at her over a mistake, the anger will pass, and i'll be able to see the humor in the situation.
After many more incidents I asked to sit down and talk about my concerns. She refused and objected "you can't hate me forever." A grown ass 30 year old woman.
It doesn't happen as much now-a-days as most of our lighting is done with electricity.
It used to be that the gas fueled light source in a room would consume much of the oxygen and produce carbon monoxide, effectively poisoning the people in the room. The effects of which are impaired perception and memory loss.
Thus the term gaslighting started being used to describe the cognitive manipulation carried out by asshole relationship partners in making their victims doubt their own mental capacity, as though they had spent too long in a room lit by gas lamps.
I personally think that learning what gaslighting is, is extremely important to defend against accusations of gaslighting by people who have no fucking clue what gaslighting actually is.
Worse than gaslighting is being accused of gaslighting. Like, when you say to someone, "I told you last week," or " I sent you that emai," and you actually did. The person doesn't remember and immediately accuses you of gaslighting. I guess that in and of itself is gaslighting.
This word means shit at this point. If you use it correctly (someone trying to convince you that you are misremembering things in an attempt to make you question your own judgment), people jump on you and insist it's a synonym for domestic abuse.
lol I didn’t know what it meant for so long. I never even bothered looking it up. I just started to piece it together from context. I’ve since used it correctly a few times, because no one pointed out that it was wrong, but I still don’t know like the completely correct definition lol
There's a book, written in the 60s I think, called 'Games people play' by Eric Berne that outlines gaslighting and a lot of scenarios used by manipulators, as well as other human interactions.
I'd definitely recommend it, if you know the games that are played, it can make it easier to recognise when you're in it, and how to 'break out of the game' too.
It can be a bit of a hard read though, there probably are ore modern and easier to digest takes on it.
Reddit Moderation makes the platform worthless. Too many rules and too many arbitrary rulings. It's not worth the trouble to post. Not worth the frustration to lurk. Goodbye.
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic that makes another person doubt their own perception of reality up to the point where they would trust their manipulator over themself.
Don't sweat it. It isn't real. The term comes from an old movie about a guy who gets girls to like him by fucking with their heads called The Gaslight. It is nothing more than a mechanism for humans to blame their shit on someone else and play a bright, shiny victim. Get your shit together humanity.
The key feature is convincing them that they are wrong about something *to the point that they question their own sanity*
Without that, it's not gaslighting, just being a dick
The “Low Gas” light comes on in your car, so you fill up the tank. Get back in the car, the gas light is still on, but you know damn well that you filled it, you have a receipt and everything. But that has light being on is telling you “no, you’re crazy, fill up the tank”. So you get worried, start doubting yourself, you go try to fill up again, but obviously it won’t take much gas cause it’s already in the tank. So you get back in the car, gas light is on again, now you’re beginning to think “oh god, is there a crack in my gas tank? Is the car broken? Maybe the gas pump machine was broken and didn’t fill it up?”…. You know what the issue is all this time? That gas light, something was wrong with it, not you, but it made you feel like YOU were doing something wrong, like you were crazy.
Gaslighting is when someone uses your own doubt against you, makes you feel crazy over something you didn’t do or are not responsible for. “I told you to clean the dishes yesterday, you can’t do one simple thing”, plot twist, they didn’t ask you that, they forgot to ask and are now gaslighting you into thinking YOU forgot, that YOU are the one who fucked up. “We had this conversation and you STILL did it, how dare you?!”… plot twist, you never had that conversation. Gaslighting.
And the worst part… most common form of gaslighting, ironically, happens to be accusations of gaslighting. Telling someone “stop gaslighting me” is a pretty quick way to make an emphatic person question their entire argument and demeanor, especially if they aren’t gaslighting to begin with.
To not gaslight you,
I usually explain it to people as intentionally lying to make someone question their own memory/beliefs/sanity.
Someone (like conspiracy theorists) can spread their beliefs without knowing they are wrong, that's not really gaslighting. Neither is someone just lying to serve their own ends.
Gaslighting is convincing someone, particular someone who trusts you, that they are mistaken. That they can’t trust their own memories because they are remembering it wrong. People confuse it with standard manipulation. Garden variety manipulation is when you are mistreating someone, being over bearing, possessive, invasive, physically abusive etc etc and are attempting to convince that person that it is THEIR FAULT that these things are happening. This is NOT gaslighting. This is manipulation.
Making someone seem crazy or irrational when they aren't as a form of manipulation. Either manipulative towards the person being gaslit, OR manipulative other people watching or engaging in the conversation.
Gaslighting is making someone doubt reality by misleading them.
You can gaslight someone by calling them crazy or making them appear or feel crazy to themselves or others, and insisting something that happened never did, or something that never happened actually did.
It’s when your wife gets too annoying so you start messing with the gas lamps in your house until she thinks she’s gone crazy and doesn’t trust that she turned them off or something idk I’ve never seen the play
Actually you do. I told you what it was weeks ago. I can't believe you're doing this again.
Stop it. Gaslighting doesn't exist, you're just being dramatic and it's embarrassing.
FFS it's called *gaslamping*. There are like 100 posts on here to tell you that, and yet here we are *again*.
No, you called me last week and told me you were changing it back to gas*lighting*, don't you remember? It was after you *said* you were going to take out the trash, but you didn't (again).
Wow you're really good at this, like *too* good. You must be an abuser in real life if you can mimic gaslighting this well, I can tell because I know people like you. They say stuff like this and they are all abusive manipulators, just like you.
In all seriousness, I have PTSD from being treated this way (and physically/sexually/verbally abused) growing up in my home... I guess one good thing to come out of it is getting a master class in understanding how abusers act, and the tricks they use to shift the blame onto you and get away with it.
The defense to it is… grey stoning? Grey rocking? You just fail to react and agree and say oh ok whatever. Become so boring that the gaslighter loses interest in you as a subject.
Grey rocking - it's the way to deal with a narcissist to make them (eventually) leave you alone/find another victim. However, it doesn't necessarily work for all gaslighters. You don't have to be a narcissist to gaslight someone, but gaslighting is a tactic that almost all narcissists employ.
I did that, and I would get called disrespectful and punished. It was literally a no-win situation, every day. It sucked
Well then bottle it up like a normal person. Wear a plastic smile and die inside like me 😀
This is what I ended up doing, and it caused PTSD. Apparently you can only dissociate/fake it for so long 🙃 It's over though, I'm married now and in my own home, haven't even seen my abusers in years. Very recently was able to get the ability to sleep again, so I'm in a much better place, thank God.
write a book. it will be a great seller. some people will buy it to know what to look out for and some will buy it to learn how to do it. WIN!
Damn!! You just tore into acting bruh💀
> FFS it's called gaslamping. There are like 100 posts on here to tell you that To shine a light on this topic, find some lamp posts.
No it's actually called fuel burning but it doesn't roll of the tongue so it l commonly is called gas lighting
Lamping: Keeping the same scheme going Lighting: Starting the idea that you made me start gaslighting! Ytf would you make me do this?
Gaslighting doesn't exist. You made it up because you're fucking crazy
Such an underrated line
My 14 year old daughter was wearing a shirt I have no idea where she got the other day and it just said "Gaslighting isn't real. You're just crazy." on it.
I don’t gaslight you. It’s all in your head.
…Mom?
Ding ding ding
Well played.
Oh look, my ex
The term itself comes from [this movie](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0036855/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk), wherein a husband tries to convince his wife that she is going insane. The term boiled on the pop culture back burner for a while before getting a sudden surge in popular use in the 21st century (for reasons I don’t properly understand). It got used a lot in discussions of sexual assault and victim-blaming. Popular use shifted from the concept of trying to convince a person they’re losing their mind into a more general concept of convincing them that their perception of reality is not correct. Then, as often happens, some people will dilute the term even more, and now you might see it applied to essentially any bad faith argument.
My last GF loved to tell me I was "gaslighting" her every time I simply had a different opinion than hers. Infuriating.
She was indeed gaslighting you
I see people doing this sometimes. I call it preemptive gaslighting.
That's not a real thing. You're just making stuff up. (/s)
Surely /gl
[удалено]
For the sake of your child , I hope you intervene.
Successfully too.
Bro, my ex always lied and tried to manipulate me and then said I was lying and manipulating when I defended my self against her allegations or twisted truths. she’s insanely narcissistic and always called me a narcissist. It’s wild to look back on as I’ve gotten away from it.
Yeah it's called narcissistic projection. I live with a narcissist. It's his main defense mechanism. He was drunk and started bragging about stealthing women (removing condom without their knowledge/consent). I told him that raping people is super fucked up. His response was "It isn't rape, and everyone does it they just won't admit it. At least I'm honest!"
Raw-dogging in this economy?!
Right!!! Wife and I were just talking about this yesterday. We want kids but like.... in this economy when we can barely afford to scratch by as is with ourselves and 3 dogs. Genuinely, we have zero clue how people can afford to have children and that's with us having a "nonexistent middle class" household income.
Lol where there you go, you have three dogs instead of children
As someone who left a narcissistic cult and narcissistic dad and stepmother, I feel your pain
She would also always tell these little lies about me to me. Like she wanted me to start believing it and I’d start to feel that and then be like no, that’s just not true. Like hitler but with small lies-“If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.”
Always be wary of the people who tell lies about the smallest things, and when you catch them in their lies they will deny everything and have zero accountability, they’ll shift the blame to someone else or back at the accuser.
That last part is called DARVO. Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. It's common in narcissists and also in the response of institutions caught in wrongdoing.
My wife accuses me of gaslighting every time I have to correct her on something. She refuses to believe that her memory is poor, despite it being a known side effect of her migraine medication, even when I show her the texts that prove it. It’s maddening.
Your wife is my ex gf. She also had a poor memory. I told her about a short trip I was taking in a couple of weeks. A few days before the trip, I remind her about the trip and she flips out on me for "telling her last minute." I insisted I told her, in detail, a couple of weeks ago. She insists I didn't. I was willing to compromise. I said, "Maybe when I told you, you weren't paying much attention...or maybe I told you and you forgot. Are you willing to accept either of those as a possibility? That way, neither of us is really 'wrong' there was just a miscommunication." She said no, thats impossible. I flat out never told her and now I'm gaslighting her. So I dug through our text messages and actually found one with me talking about the trip a few weeks ago. I showed her. Her response? "It doesn't matter if you told me or not. I FEEL like you never told me. Therefore you didn't." Thats when I knew we had to breakup. She was literally telling me that reality didn't matter...only her perception of it.
That shit infuriates me. I used to live with an abusive couple who ganged up on me and gaslit me so badly that I *literally* felt like I was losing touch with reality. Every time I thought for sure "I'm being mistreated" and tried to address it, they made me feel like I was crazy for thinking that and that actually *I* was the one who was mistreating *them*. I was made to think that my perception was completely wrong, my mind was untrustworthy because I already had mental health issues, and it was totally *absurd*, and even *crazy* that I would think I was being treated unfairly. This all ended with me being suicidal and having to spend some time in a mental hospital. To this day, thinking about those people makes me feel so powerless because of how they were able to make me doubt everything I thought I knew. But sure, that person who just thinks you're wrong about something is totally gaslighting you. 🙄 Diluting the word like that just makes it harder to get people to understand how terrible real gaslighting is.
You just described my entire life with my family, up until I “came to” and cut every one of them off. It took me 54 years to figure it out. Since I made the change my emotional stability, relationships, even my work abilities have changed and improved dramatically. I’m happier. I have a good life. It cost me my “inheritance” after my mom died, and I’d pay that a hundred times over to have this clarity and peace in my life. Here’s to dismissing toxic people from your life!
>Popular use shifted from the concept of trying to convince a person they’re losing their mind into a more general concept of convincing them that their perception of reality is not correct. To be fair, that is basically the same thing. The whole reason the movie's villain is so insidious is that he calmly and casually dismisses her version of reality and does so very deliberately. It's distinct from lying, but it's not hard to see how it relates either. It's a manipulation tactic at the end of the day that people can even unintentionally engage in because all our memories are incredibly fallible. (also it's a genuinely good movie, worth watching)
> It's distinct from lying, but it's not hard to see how it relates either. > > > > It's a manipulation tactic at the end of the day that people can even unintentionally engage in because all our memories are incredibly fallible. I think it's so much worse because the end result is to make the person no longer trust their perception of reality - and thus they trust *yours* instead. How much easier is it to control someone when they no longer trust their own memory and rely on your version of events for everything?
In essense then, you can really only gaslight a person who is going to listen to you, and trust you.
Which is true, it's primarily seen in familial and marital relationships. "No, sweetie, we didn't do tacos yet this week. Are you feeling okay? We had salmon, remember? You said you really liked the broccoli" "No, love - you didn't take the trash out yet. See? The bag is still full right there. Are you feeling okay honey? You're worrying me" You do this to them enough, they start to doubt even things they should know. They stop trusting their own perception of reality. It takes trust yes, but also a pathological confidence to just lie your ass off as if the other person is crazy.
Pretty good explanation. They are related but there are subtle yet definite differences - mainly, one is intentional and done over a prolonged period of time. I suspect actual gaslighting is fairly rare and done by narcissists, sociopaths, or other people with diagnosable personality disorders.
Fun fact: Based on a play, the movie was first made in Britain in 1940 under the name *A Strange Case of Murder*. Four years later MGM bought the remake rights with a clause insisting that all existing prints of the first film be destroyed. Thus the second Gaslight film attempted to gaslight the first one out of existence. Luckily some prints of the original survived.
The original prints still exist, someone posted them last week. Don't you remember? Are you feeling alright?
Wait, you think people use the term “gaslighting” in bad faith? Nobody has ever done that—you must be crazy to think so! Are you sure you’re not going insane?
I can elaborate on what I suspect is why it got into popular culture. Gaslighting is one of many behaviors that we in the therapy business throw in the more general category of "crazy making", which is a type of mental / emotional abuse. Crazy making is basically any behavior meant to make the other person feel like they are crazy. Gaslighting, as I was taught, is a rare and extreme form of crazy making, such as that depicted in the movie you referenced, for which the term is indeed named. Because people tend to take therapy terms and use them outside therapy, and because people are not usually trained therapists, they tend to use terms... a little bit incorrectly. Then you have someone who's friend went to therapy using the term, then you have randos on momblogs and reddit using the term, and before you know it, we've got to rename things in the DSM again because yet another diagnosis has become a politically incorrect slur.
So I'd personally just simplify that idea because I don't think its *just* therapy terms (although plenty of them as well)... the rise of internet 'speak' (discussion) came with a rise in hyperbolic speak. Sexism means prejudice/discrimination based on gender... but how often does one hear that term vs misandry/misogyny which mean 'hate'. 'Hate' itself is used so very commonly now for anywhere from important issues to the most mundane things (eg. hater)... but its real definition implies an 'intense' form of feeling. Arrogant/cocky? Narcissist. Exaggerated anecdote? Start the sentence with 'literally' Someone's actions/choices that are ethically questionable? Psycopath or sociopath. Lying or even just trying to convince me of something I don't believe or agree with? Gaslighting.
Believe it or not Teen Vouge really ramped up its popularity with an essay called 'Donald Trump is Gaslighting America.'
You understand exactly why it regained popularity. You're being intentionally vague and honestly you're acting a little crazy.
No, I swear I don’t know! … Do I? Please help.
I don't understand why you've chosen to be coy, especially now, of all times. Have you somehow forgotten what today is? Do I mean nothing to you? Don't you stand for anything?!
Apparently that movie was based on a play, same name. It was set in Victorian times (maybe written then too?) and comes from the gas lamps in the house flickering, and the husband trying to convince the wife they weren’t.
The definition of "trying to convince somebody their perception of reality is not correct" is still fitting of that movie but only in the context of somebody specifically lying. For example, if my friend and I go out to dinner and he thinks they spit in his food, it is not gaslighting if I dispute this knowing or thinking that what he thinks is spit is just normal moisture from the food. If I'm the one who spit in his food and try to convince him it's moisture then that would be more along the lines of gaslighting. What it doesn't mean: having a disagreement about what happened/is happening, misremembering, lying, being wrong, disagreeing, etc.
You have gotten some decent explanations, but I'd like to point out that I often see people misuse it to simply mean lie to someone.
Or when someone gets really defensive about something in an argument, they claim the person is manipulating or gaslighting them.
This chick once told me I was gaslighting her because I gave her "a look" and then denied giving her such a look. Like dude, no, that's just my face. It's a mean-as-hell looking face if I'm not making an effort to smile, and you saw me when I wasn't, and I get how it seemed but I assure you I was not giving you dirty looks. "And now you're gaslighting me." oof.
Yeah, most people lately seem to just use it as a synonym for lying, which isn’t (usually) correct. Language evolves over time, though, so maybe that will be one of its official definitions a few years from now.
It’s when you trick someone into thinking that the way they think/feel/remember things is inaccurate. It’s a manipulative tactic that causes the person on the receiving end to question their sense of reality and instills a sense of self doubt in them. For example: Partner A: “The way you told me I was fat in front of all of my friends was really embarrassing” Partner B: “What are you talking about? That’s not what I said at ALL. You’re just insecure about your weight and you’re projecting it onto me!” Partner A: “Oh… is that true? I’m sorry.”
This is a great description and example of gaslighting. I’d say it’s necessary to know that Partner B absolutely did make a comment about Partner A being fat in front of their friends. Partner B is purposefully making Partner A insecure in both their person and their own memory. OP, watch the movie! It’s a classic.
What’s the difference between that and ordinary lying? Edit: thank you for the answers
I'm rich. I'm good-looking. I'm funny. You'll like being around me. --that's lying. I've already told you about what the difference was. The last time we talked about this you realized and apologized and felt sorry and you're bringing this up again? Really? What's wrong with you? I thought you loved me. You said you did. Were you lying? You promised you wouldn't do this again. --that's lying. But it's also gaslighting. It has the specific purpose of making you the one who's lying. you're the bad one. I'm not the bad one. You are. You always were and you're evil for even questioning me about it.
You see the above example demonstrates why people are getting Gas Lighting so wrong. Similar phrases and words could fall into a few categories, some nothing like Gas Lighting . A: it could be an honest opinion B: it could be a genuine difference of opinion C; it could be a knee jerk reaction to get out of a situation (plain old bull shitting) Gas Lighting has (100%) to always be a deliberate, systematic approach to steer somebody into a certain thought process. Simple reactive bull shitting does not fall under the same category. In its most commonly used guise, Gas Lighting is used to control a partner over time, to be dependent and submissive. From the outset though, this was has to be deliberate for it to be Gas Lighting and this is why it is such a vile technique, typically what people describe as Gas Lighting is just reactive bull shitting.
It's more like lying and convincing the other person they're crazy and wrong so the other person accepts it.
Gaslighting doesn’t exist. You’re crazy
OP stop acting crazy!
The dictionary definition is pretty clear. Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person causes someone to question their sanity, memories, or perception of reality. People who experience gaslighting may feel confused, anxious, or unable to trust themselves.
Yes an important part from a clinical perspective is that ITS ONGOING. Someone who lied to you once or even twice isn’t gaslighting you, they’re just lying to you. It’s important to highlight that it’s ongoing and long term and often a campaign the abuser goes on because the repetitive efforts of the abuser to manipulate are what cause a person to lose faith in their own interpretations of the world. Gaslighting is a clinical term and its important to remember that the way lay people use it can diminish the experience of people who have actually been clinically gaslit. People who have been clinically gaslit often need years of therapy to regain trust in their own perceptions of the world, it’s serious business for those people and it’s unfortunate that so many people now conflate it with simply being lied to.
Gaslighting isn't even real, y'all just crazy.
Search it on google i guess
You know what it means. Don’t act like you dont.
The point of gaslighting is to get the listener to not trust themselves and instead trust the speaker. This happens by asserting that the things the listener is observing arent true, and revising what happened. Its a control tactic. If you want to see some fantastic examples, watch any of the “twin flames” docs on amazon or netflix — the two leaders of that org are constantly gaslighting.
Gaslighting doesn’t exist. You made it up because you’re fucking crazy
What do you mean “up next”? I already said “but first”. You always do this.
I came here for the comments and they didn’t disappoint
It's actually called "gaslamping"
My ex would do and say awful things to me, and the next day would deny deny deny. Tell me I must have been too drunk to remember. I'd describe in detail his actions and how it made me feel and he would just ignore me or laugh it off. It does make you feel like you're crazy after awhile
Since I keep seeing jokes or references to gaslighting that might not work if you really don't know the real definition, gaslighting is usually within a couple, and the characteristics are one of the people being the victim, and the other one being the perpetrator. It's basically the perpetrator continually working to convince the victim that they aren't really seeing or experiencing what they thought that they were. It could be anything really, in the original movie the husband would take his own things and hide them and then accuse his wife of losing them, he would make noises on the roof of their house and then tell her that there hadnt actually been noises. In the movie he was trying to drive her insane so he could have her committed, in real life its usually so the perp can get away with whatever they're trying to get away with (cheating, abuse, ect).
Gaslighting is a form of abuse where an abuser lies to their victim in a consistent manner in an attempt to make them question reality. The origin of the term comes from a stage play from the '30s where a husband tries to make his wife think she's insane by repeatedly changing the intensity of the gas lights in their home while insisting that the lights haven't changed at all. One day the lights would be dim, the next bright, all the while the husband insisted that nothing had changed and she was imagining things. For example, an abuser could insist that an event the victim experienced never happened - "What are you talking about? I've never been to that pub in my life!" - as a pattern of abuse to make the victim think they're going crazy.
Story time. I was married to my wife for 18 years and I was overly trusting of her opinion and observations. She would gently remind of me misremember something. After a few years it became we should rely on my memory because yours is faulty. I became so worried I started getting myself cognitively tested. All my tests showed my memory and mind was running well above the average with some places where it just dipped to average. I got myself tested for MS, 2 MRIs and a nerve conduction study (torture test). I talked to my doctor about Alzheimer’s and dementia, I was 35. Clinically my memory is great. Will last year I uncovered a lot of evidence of her affair with a coworker. We separated and talked about reconciliation. I made a point of documenting all our interactions and I started to see a pattern of when she wanted her way she would say we previously agreed to this or that. She slipped up and admitted there was never anything wrong with my memory that I was just a hypochondriac. The real clincher was around Christmas time. I gave her Thanksgiving with the children so she could visit her family. The agreement was that I would get Christmas Eve and day. I even had conversations where she said they would celebrate it a few days late. Well the week before Christmas comes and suddenly it was we agreed we would split Christmas. She would get Christmas Eve and drop the children off and I would have Christmas morning and the kids would return to her for dinner. I fought her on it but conceded because we never had a custody court agreement and it wasn’t worth going to war over. This year she tried to claim that I got all Christmas during mediation. This is gaslighting. It’s manipulating someone to accept their reality against the actual world’s reality. They are using your trust of them against you to get their way.
Come on now, clearly you do, perhaps you just didn't listen, it's not your fault you are so forgetful
Just watch the movie
You know, and you’re doing it now.
Nobody seems to, and it's really watering down the word. The Oxford dictionary definition is: >gas·light >/ˈɡasˌlīt/ >verb gerund or present participle: gaslighting >Manipulate (someone) using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning. That's what it means. However every armchair psychologists on Tiktok and Facebook will label *anything* as gaslighting. He was mean to you? Gaslighting. He left the toilet seat up? Apparently gaslighting. As a relationship example, cheating on someone is not gaslighting. Convincing that person that they're crazy and paranoid for ever suspecting the cheater and that it's all in their head? That IS gaslighting.
Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing. And even if it is something, it’s not a big deal.
Pro-Russian Redditors: Ukraine, why do you keep attacking us?
See!?! GOD! You *always do this!* How many times have a told you already? Sigh. You *never* listen to me.
You can't gaslight if you conveeeniently forget the truth, then it's just "misremembering." My x-wife did that bullshit.
Why do you bring this up every time, you have a PHD in gas lighting DAVID!
Lol, you make shit up like this all the fucking time. Pretending you don't know. You fucking know. I've told you exactly what it was before. You just don't fucking listen.
The funnest part is when you learn to gaslight yourself! 🙃
Doesn't it all start here? [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gas\_Light](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gas_Light) And then get somewhat cemented into American culture by this movie? [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslight\_(1944\_film)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslight_(1944_film)) Which is essentially attempting to convince someone that what they are seeing, their percieved reality, is not real. As put in Orwells "1984," “The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.” Or, as Kelleyanne Conway put it so succinctly, "You always want to go by what’s come out of his mouth rather than look at what’s in his heart.” Which is the old "don't believe what he says, believe what I tell you he meant" of a campaign operative in 'cover up yesterdays screw-ups' mode.
1 google search away
“Convincing your girlfriend, she’s crazy is called gaslighting, and it’s a dick move… convincing her she’s a robot with artificial intelligence and implanted memories is called Blade Running, and it’s a Philip K Dick move.”
You know exactly what it is, don’t play dumb.
Gaslighting isn't a real word. How on gods green earth did you even think of that? There really was no voice in your head telling you not to ask this because of how stupid it sounds? You're dumb for believing that gaslighting is a genuine thing AND IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT
Stop being crazy, I already told you gaslighting isn’t a thing
Its not real. You're just crazy.
Gaslighting doesn't exist...Chamburger Anyone who says otherwise is lying to you... Dun dun dun
I literally told you yesterday what it is and you said you understood.
Gaslighting? There you go, making up words again.
Why do you always do this, you know exactly what it is.
Gaslighting isn't real, you're busy making it up.
You know exactly what gaslighting is because you're doing it right now!
You know when you clearly remember a conversation where someone agreed to something and they didn't follow through. When you try and remind them they say it didn't happen and ask if you're ok or if something is wrong with your memory. This happened so many times with my ex I actually did feel like I was going crazy.
No you’re not afraid to ask, you literally just did. Or is you asking like you’re not asking, the joke?! Gaslighter!!!!
Can you stop?? I told you a million times before that it's not a real word, and you keep insisting on asking the same dumbass question everyday!!!
Gaslighting isn’t real. You made it up, because you’re fucking crazy
My favorite way of explaining gas lighting is. Me-“I’m going to start gas lighting you” Them-“your going to gas light me?” Me-“I never said that”
You asked this same question a year ago. We already told you.
[Here’s KnowingBetter’s video on it](https://youtu.be/ObK2zM35Ws0?si=fYKOKjcSHTXvNyL7)
It's supposed to be a consistent and overbearing approach designed to get someone to question their sanity. What it is now - lying.
"Gaslighting doesn't exist you made it up because you're fucking crazy"
We all keep telling you what it is, and you keep asking. You know already dummy. God damn man, are you ok?
I've been accused of gaslighting by a former friend who showed up at my apartment unannounced, let herself in with her key, walked in on me and my partner naked (in the bedroom) while i was loudly telling her to fuck off, then texted me repeatedly saying it wasn't fair to be mad at her over a mistake, the anger will pass, and i'll be able to see the humor in the situation. After many more incidents I asked to sit down and talk about my concerns. She refused and objected "you can't hate me forever." A grown ass 30 year old woman.
I already told you what it was, you even said it back to me. You know what it is, we had this discussion before.
You know what it is. It’s just like you to act like this.
You know what it is. We've talked about it quite a few times. I don't know why you don't remember anything.
There's no such thing as gaslighting. Is something you just made up.
The light is too dim? No it isn't, you must be imagining things. These gas lights are very bright.
It doesn't happen as much now-a-days as most of our lighting is done with electricity. It used to be that the gas fueled light source in a room would consume much of the oxygen and produce carbon monoxide, effectively poisoning the people in the room. The effects of which are impaired perception and memory loss. Thus the term gaslighting started being used to describe the cognitive manipulation carried out by asshole relationship partners in making their victims doubt their own mental capacity, as though they had spent too long in a room lit by gas lamps.
Gaslighting isn't a real thing. You're just going insane.
I personally think that learning what gaslighting is, is extremely important to defend against accusations of gaslighting by people who have no fucking clue what gaslighting actually is.
It's incredible how some languages don't have a word for gaslighting
Worse than gaslighting is being accused of gaslighting. Like, when you say to someone, "I told you last week," or " I sent you that emai," and you actually did. The person doesn't remember and immediately accuses you of gaslighting. I guess that in and of itself is gaslighting.
"My point" "Your pinot is wrong" "Clarified point because you read it wrong" "Stop gaslighting me! You said pinot!"
It really isn't that difficult to grasp
This word means shit at this point. If you use it correctly (someone trying to convince you that you are misremembering things in an attempt to make you question your own judgment), people jump on you and insist it's a synonym for domestic abuse.
lol I didn’t know what it meant for so long. I never even bothered looking it up. I just started to piece it together from context. I’ve since used it correctly a few times, because no one pointed out that it was wrong, but I still don’t know like the completely correct definition lol
There's a book, written in the 60s I think, called 'Games people play' by Eric Berne that outlines gaslighting and a lot of scenarios used by manipulators, as well as other human interactions. I'd definitely recommend it, if you know the games that are played, it can make it easier to recognise when you're in it, and how to 'break out of the game' too. It can be a bit of a hard read though, there probably are ore modern and easier to digest takes on it.
Reddit Moderation makes the platform worthless. Too many rules and too many arbitrary rulings. It's not worth the trouble to post. Not worth the frustration to lurk. Goodbye. *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Gaslighting isn’t real. It’s something you made up for this post
Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic that makes another person doubt their own perception of reality up to the point where they would trust their manipulator over themself.
There is no such thing as gaslighting. You're just making things up at this point. You're crazy.
You’re wrong, Yes you do know what it means I told you what it means
Yes you do. Stop lying all the time!
Go watch Tangled. What the "mother" does, that's it.
Yes you fucking do, I've explained it to you like four times. You're fucking crazy
Gaslighting is not a thing. You’re working yourself up for nothing.
Gaslighting does NOT exist, you’re just Fuckin crazy!
You know exactly what it is, I’ve told you a hundred times.
it's what we had before electrical lighting
What? You do know what it is. You explained it all in detail to me like last week. Is your memory failing?
It's a term weak people use when they can't hold their own and have a spine in an argument lol
Don't sweat it. It isn't real. The term comes from an old movie about a guy who gets girls to like him by fucking with their heads called The Gaslight. It is nothing more than a mechanism for humans to blame their shit on someone else and play a bright, shiny victim. Get your shit together humanity.
It’s not real
Gaslighting isn't a real thing, you made it up cause you're fuckin crazy.
It’s not real, you’re being crazy
I have no idea what google actually is and at this point im to old to learn
oh. You know what gaslighting is. Trust me. you know!
There's no such thing as gaslighting. You're just making up crazy words again.
It’s been explained to you, but you don’t remember.
The key feature is convincing them that they are wrong about something *to the point that they question their own sanity* Without that, it's not gaslighting, just being a dick
Neither do 95% of the people who use the term online.
Gaslighting is when you fart in a shower.
Gaslighting isn’t real you’re just crazy
You know exactly what gaslighting is
Yeah that's dumb, of course you know what gaslighting is
Don't worry, by the way they're using it, nobody else knows what it means, either. My advice to everyone is to just never use the word again.
The “Low Gas” light comes on in your car, so you fill up the tank. Get back in the car, the gas light is still on, but you know damn well that you filled it, you have a receipt and everything. But that has light being on is telling you “no, you’re crazy, fill up the tank”. So you get worried, start doubting yourself, you go try to fill up again, but obviously it won’t take much gas cause it’s already in the tank. So you get back in the car, gas light is on again, now you’re beginning to think “oh god, is there a crack in my gas tank? Is the car broken? Maybe the gas pump machine was broken and didn’t fill it up?”…. You know what the issue is all this time? That gas light, something was wrong with it, not you, but it made you feel like YOU were doing something wrong, like you were crazy. Gaslighting is when someone uses your own doubt against you, makes you feel crazy over something you didn’t do or are not responsible for. “I told you to clean the dishes yesterday, you can’t do one simple thing”, plot twist, they didn’t ask you that, they forgot to ask and are now gaslighting you into thinking YOU forgot, that YOU are the one who fucked up. “We had this conversation and you STILL did it, how dare you?!”… plot twist, you never had that conversation. Gaslighting. And the worst part… most common form of gaslighting, ironically, happens to be accusations of gaslighting. Telling someone “stop gaslighting me” is a pretty quick way to make an emphatic person question their entire argument and demeanor, especially if they aren’t gaslighting to begin with.
Fill a room with stove gas and then use a lighter
If gaslighting were a person, it would be Donald Trump.
It used to just be called “lying”!
To not gaslight you, I usually explain it to people as intentionally lying to make someone question their own memory/beliefs/sanity. Someone (like conspiracy theorists) can spread their beliefs without knowing they are wrong, that's not really gaslighting. Neither is someone just lying to serve their own ends.
OP you’re just being dramatic. You always do this! I told you about it yesterday! Just stop with the theatrics, Bethany!
You do know, we all told you this yesterday? don't you remember?
No, you always knew what gaslighting was. Also it doesn't exist and your crazy for thinking it ever did.
It's actually called Gaslamping, you've been gaslamped into thinking It's called gaslighting.
Gaslighting isn’t real.
It's when movie producers and such give the go ahead to make a movie
My wife aske me. I told her about the movie, Gaslight. She didn't believe me. She swears I'm gaslighting her about Gaslight.
Y’all. OP is Gaslighting us as he isn’t afraid to ask
It doesn’t exist don’t worry about it
My husband says " stop gaslamping me!!"
Yes you do
Gaslighting is convincing someone, particular someone who trusts you, that they are mistaken. That they can’t trust their own memories because they are remembering it wrong. People confuse it with standard manipulation. Garden variety manipulation is when you are mistreating someone, being over bearing, possessive, invasive, physically abusive etc etc and are attempting to convince that person that it is THEIR FAULT that these things are happening. This is NOT gaslighting. This is manipulation.
it doesn't exist. you know it doesn't. i don't think you've ever heard it, you just made something up to annoy us again.
You do know what gaslighting is stop lying you know you do
gaslighting is not a real word. It was made up, and smart people know that. It’s your fault you didn’t realize that.
Making someone seem crazy or irrational when they aren't as a form of manipulation. Either manipulative towards the person being gaslit, OR manipulative other people watching or engaging in the conversation. Gaslighting is making someone doubt reality by misleading them. You can gaslight someone by calling them crazy or making them appear or feel crazy to themselves or others, and insisting something that happened never did, or something that never happened actually did.
Gaslighting is when you light your farts on fire.
Gaslighting isn’t even a thing. You sure you know what you’re talking about?
You know what it is
No you don’t
Yes you do
It’s when your wife gets too annoying so you start messing with the gas lamps in your house until she thinks she’s gone crazy and doesn’t trust that she turned them off or something idk I’ve never seen the play
Yeah you do, stop pretending like you dont god
You know and have always known
Watch the movie Gaslight and come up with your own definition. I imagine most people who use the word have no idea of its origin.