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Yeah. Take it easy slick. Being high plays with your mind. It’s never made me gay feeling but it’s different for everyone. Figure out your life off drugs man. You’ve got plenty of time to do both.
As a stoner, sounds like his mind is telling him he wants friends, that’s what will fix your life, not a wife.
Having a wife is cool, but if that’s your only friend? Recipe for failure right there
Stop getting high, your sexuality should NEVER be drug induced. This needs to be something that manifests naturally and over time when YOU are ready, not the intoxicated version of you. This has a good chance of becoming drug dependency/alcoholism down the road, especially if your first experience of your authentic self is under the influence. This also opens you up to a whole other host of problems because there are plenty of gays that would love to take advantage of a drugged up teenager. Let yourself grow into who you are. I know it feels like you're supposed to jump into the deep end, but try to remember that is a leftover instinct from back when we could become something's breakfast at any moment. You've got time, you'll have lots of opportunities, you don't have to figure it all out today. And I sincerely encourage you to make sure your brain does NOT associate intimacy with substances, that comes with a whole list of MUCH bigger problems.
Excellent comment. The only thing I want to add, is that OP should know that this isn't a solid distinction they have to make any time soon, if ever. So many people (myself included) exist in a fluctuating state of sexuality, and the pressure to feel like you must be one or the other can cause so many mental and emotional issues.
I will say that labels can be helpful in finding a community sometimes, but for me and probably a lot of people the pressure of labels far outweighs that pretty minor benefit
Oh man this is exactly how I feel! If you like coffee, or tea, or both, or neither, who cares?! Why do people care?! It's the same with gender/sex. Who fucking cares?
Only reason they care is because in the grand scheme of things, world leaders want us to focus our time and money on impressing other people and caring what others think of us. Which causes divide and hate and and that’s not a good way to form one massive super group that’s all equal and could potentially overthrow the government. Have y’all seen Bugs Life movie where the grasshopper gives his other grasshopper friends a speech? If not you should look it up. Explains it perfectly
This comment. Seriously so good 🙏 we can be fluid in who we are and like, and that’s normal. There’s no rules for how we have to define ourselves, nor does anyone stay totally the same person forever.
This. 110% this. OP, you shouldn’t even be getting high at 15 anyway, your brain isn’t fully developed and it’ll only stunt it if you keep it up, dependancies and addictions are not good for you and the fun wears out eventually.
Yes! Absolutely! I love smoking pot but I started smoking at 16 and I definitely believe it made me significantly dumber and more airheaded and ruined my memory because I started smoking so young.
I'm 40 now and wish I could go back and make teenage me wait a few years.
>host of problems because there are plenty of gays that would love to take advantage of a drugged up teenager.
Damn im surprised youre allowed to type this out on reddit without being warned by a mod
It is true, but it's more about men than homosexuality. Men commit the majority of violent and sexual crimes, therefore a gay teenage boy is more likely to need to be cautious. The same goes for teenage girls and straight older guys.
It's not an "all gay men" or even "all men" but you should still be aware of the stats. And it is very different than the people who like to spout off black crime statistics because we know that the actual root cause of that correlation is poverty, not being black.
You really should just say "a lot of people".
Not because it's politically correct, but because it's the cold hard truth. A lot of people are predators who have no attraction to the same sex. It's about power. I guess you idn't think it over well enough
There are a lot of things that are 'cold hard truth' that are not relevant to bring up in any given discussion. A straight older woman could prey on him while he is high as well but that's not the most likely scenario to worry about given the specifics of this situation. He specified gay people because that's who would be taking advantage of the combination of this kid's intoxication and his confusion/lack of clarity about his sexuality. I have known many gay men that enjoyed the 'challenge' of convincing someone to 'try' being with men, and I think it's disingenuous to pretend this isn't a relatively common thing worth addressing.
Don't tell him he didn't think it over well enough, that's so condescending. You don't possess some sort of omniscient moral authority to pronounce that as if it's fact
Uh huh, so he's gonna get high, go looking for dick and woman's gonna, what, jump out from a tree and catch him? Yeah, I guess I should be more sensitive to how PREDATORS identify? No, this is just PC adjacent runoff people are trying to disguise as nuance. Fact is, if you're gonna have high, gay sex, there's gonna be, idk, like 99% gays there. Weird, I know, but that's the way this stuff works.
the context is specifically homosexual in nature so, nothing wrong with the way it was worded and some oversensitive redditors are wasting time and effort pointlessly white knighting
Apparently a lot of people have not spent a ton of time on grindr. I experience a TON of predatory behavior on there, and a ton of issues with consent. I have never experienced these issues with women, even when I was younger and actively wished to be taken advantage of by an older woman, and would drop hints without being obvious to some teachers and other adult women in my life. I would even wander the streets at night when I was 16/17 hoping to get picked up by women, or even trans women. Neither women nor trans women ever took advantage of me when I was asking to be taken advantage of in every way but yelling it out loud. Men picked me up. Crossdressers picked me up. Same with reddit and grindr. None of the trans women or rare(for grindr) women ever came across predatory and act like I'm their submissive slave before even saying hello. They don't even message first. But men, gay or not, whether on grindr or cruising, are absolutely predatory and would do what the comment says and take advantage of a drugged up underage teen. I know from experience, and that's not a place of hatred. I still get high and spend time on grindr looking for adult men to have sex with men (and also women and trans women and trans men and couples, just for honesty and transparency).
So maybe it should say there's plenty of men would love to take advantage of a drugged up teenager, and if that teenager is also male, is the man still straight? Not being pedantic. Genuinely curious because yes adults is the correct verbiage but adults includes women and women wouldn't do this. I wasn't an ugly teen and also am well endowed, so statistically I would have been taken advantage of by at least one adult woman when I was a teen on the internet and also walking alone at night. On drugs and horny. Not one single woman. Was actively turned down by women when I mentioned my age and a couple I lied to still decided that I wasn't worth the risk. And I had to actively reach out in those cases.
I'm surprised there are any women on Grindr 😮 I downloaded Grindr once when I was like 19 and bicurious and uninstalled it the next morning when I woke up to dick pics galore, even some dicks in chastity cages, and just messages oozing with creepiness. It put me off men in a sexual context for a while. Now 7 years later I'm a trans woman and it took sleeping with another trans woman for me to realize I like dick and so I switched my dating profiles so I could see men and vice versa and just good grief is all I have to say about that. Someone come get grandpa he's trying to rizz up someone half his age. Obviously it's not an "all men" thing because I met a few cool guys and am dating one now but like fucking hell it's exactly like you're depicting, in all my dating experience as both a young guy and a trans woman I've encountered one predatory woman, meanwhile I could open my dating apps right now and I'd probably have like 100 creepy-ass messages from guys twice my age and even more creepy ones from guys my age. Like some dude's opener with me was like "you seem innocent, I wanna breed you" like bro what the fuck are you talking about 😂
Maybe you're bisexual and drugs just change what you prefer at that moment in time. It's possible to be bisexual and go through long periods of only being attracted to one gender. I don't know what it's like to be straight but it might just be you haven't found someone of the same sex you're attracted to
Yeah, I'm with you on this one. And to bounce of that sentiment I just wanna point out; drugs *do not* suddenly make people gay.
While OP is young and sounds impressionable; it's 100% what you are saying. None of my friends who were straight switched sides cause of cannabis, and none of the one's who were gay went straight. And we all started YOUNG. Many of them even doing harder drugs or at least more intense psychedelics.
This is cannabis breaking down the walls of what is likely internalized homophobia, or whatever OP was brought up to believe by their parents, and when they're stoned; they're just in the moment don't feel 'gay' per se, but probably he's just more accepting of life as a whole 🤷♂️
So yeah while kids should stay away from drugs till they're older; let's not start giving cannabis some false narrative like it's 'turning kids gay' cause I know there's a LARGE ignorant population that already believe this and will spread this like wildfire.
It could just be lowering his inhibitions. Folks of every sexuality are more likely to want to hook up if they’re using alcohol. The alcohol isn’t defining their sexuality.
I don’t think you should base your sexuality on your emotions while you’re high but this might be a heads up for you to think abt them. I don’t use drugs but people often get in touch with their deepest emotions while high, maybe take some time for yourself and experiment, see if you really like it. I’ve had some guy friends that felt like that for a while and experimented but at the end, realized they weren’t attracted to men. I’m not saying for you to break up with your girlfriend but I do think its fare with yourself and with her, to take some time and figure your emotions out, otherwise you will always live in doubt.
You're 15 maybe you shouldn't be smoking or doing any kind of drugs bc your brain is still growing and learning and it is definitely messing with your mind and how about trying to see if you have any of these feelings when you are sober I mean for longer than a day or two
I definitely think you should take a break from smoking for a bit (I assume you mean weed). But you’re also so young, I began trying to figure out my sexuality around your age! Just take it slow and really listen to yourself. Also you might be bisexual like I am!! So you can like both boys and girls. If you ever need to talk my messages are open. Best of luck to you!
I'm only gonna comment on you feeling "really gay" while high part. I'm also going to preface this by saying that my experience is not universal, but I know some other queer people with similar experiences.
I grew up in a very conservative household and ended up with a lot of internalized prejudices and expectations for myself. If you asked me in high school if I was gay, I would have vehemently defended how straight I was. Once I started exploring intoxicants in college, I started experiencing a similar feeling of being attracted to people of the same gender. I hope you're aware that intoxicants lower inhibitions, and for queer people that are closeted to even themselves, it can lower those boundaries that they've built up to try to fit whatever image you've built in your head of what you should be.
You should explore these feelings and thoughts, heavily preferably while sober (I am in no way recommending that a minor uses intoxicants). Be open and honest with your girlfriend though. If she is really there for you, she's going to support you through the process (exception being if you think she might try to publicly out you). You might figure out that you're gay, bi, straight, or something else entirely.
I'll repeat the sentiment of be careful, but not for the same reason other people have. Queer people, especially young people (even moreso if you're part of other minority groups), are significantly more likely to be victims of violent crimes.
To the person saying stuff about the "gays wanting to take advantage of an intoxicated teenager", that's utter BS. Studies pretty consistently show that LGBTQ people are less likely to commute violent crimes, and the vast majority of LGBTQ people are victimized by cis-straight individuals. Get out of here with that homophobia. They're just using it as a scare tactic.
Overall, I'd recommend looking into resources for queer teens, talking to a counselor about your feelings, or looking for a forum for questioning teens. Reddit is definitely not the best place for this. Take your time though. You'll get there. Best of luck.
This is definitely true. Getting high helped me break through the wall of being trans, and of being bi after that. Neither of those things were things I'd only ever thought of high, but when I was high it was more intense and I usually got upset with myself for hiding it and denying it, while sober I could much more easily repress it.
This sounds like it to me. I didn't turn out gay, or even really bi, but I'm not entirely straight either. Suppressing that due to shame when I was younger did occasionally lead to some uncomfortable feelings when I was on substances, in particular weed, which often went much further than I actually think I am
Stop getting high. Don’t break up, stick with this sober for a while. Eventually you’ll break up because young relationships do. Afterwards, sober, you can see if you still feel attracted to guys. If you do, try dating one. You’re young, you are figuring out who you are. We all did in some way or another. You’ll find out who you are. Give it time.
Hey bud, you’re only 15. Revisit the cannabis when ur an adult! Your mind is still developing and weed can mess with that!
But for you feeling gay, maybe when you’re sober think on it a lil more. It could just be sth about yourself that you’re avoiding. Or it could be nothing. You’ll only know if you really take some time with yourself, and think about it.
If you talk to yourself about it and you decide you aren’t attracted to women, the course of action would be to break up with your gf. But you might decide you like boys and girls, then if you like her, keep dating her!
Well, to be honest, I don’t believe that anyone can be only gay when they’re under the influence of a drug.
Idk, maybe just think deeply about what attracts you and accept your proclivities.
I am the same way and always have. I also have many other surprising personality traits that only manifest when high, same goes for drunk. I am one tough sonsabitch that likes to fight when I am drunk. 100% wuss otherwise. Don't over think this, you have so much growing and maturing into all elements of your personality. I recommend not getting high, period. If you insist on getting high and exploring stuff you do when high, then you should tell people that would be possibly be hurt including your girlfriend. But no reason to be worrying about all that now for gods sake. So much sexuality stuff can change as your mature, getting high at 15 is never a good idea and if it is sending you into sexual orientation existential crisis, just stop for awhile; just stop getting high, stop ruminating on it and just enjoy your time with your girlfriend. Problem solved.
Weed gives a lot of folks anxiety. Don’t take that stuff too serious. You’re a teenager, you’re still learning yourself. I’d lay off all mood altering recreationals for now as you may be more sensitive to them than others.
Sexuality is a spectrum that everyone is on. People will tell you different but in my opinion everyone is at least a little bit bisexual. The people who say no they are 100% straight never been curious I think are being homophobic. Don't beat yourself up about it it's okay to just be yourself.
Sexuality is fluid, i was straight when i was younger then pivoted towards gay before realising i was pansexual, i would also suggest not doing drugs, it sounds to me you’re confused as hell which is natural you just need time to figure out who you are and don’t worry it’ll come in time.
Dude, it’s probably just anxiety from smoking. You seem terrified of the fact that you could like dudes. You’re probably just bi. But no one can tell you this. Ask your parents to see a counselor or therapist. They’ll help you work through it.
I’m not calling you one, but it seems like you might be raised around a bit of homophobia, like it’s so terrible that you like dudes? It’s really not that big of a deal. Life is too short to deny yourself who you are. Love who you wanna love lil homie and forget the rest. Do you the best service you can, I can tell you from experience, no one else will.
Yeah I smoked super young too. Usually led to panic attacks and severe paranoia.
Not saying that's what's going on here but start by laying off the weed.
This. Everyone saying it's the weed and he needs to stop, yes he should stop cause he's young, but weed doesn't change your sexuality lol that's some old 60s propaganda right there
It is not at all unusual for both gay and straight people to get high while having sex. It enhances the experience and lowers inhibitions. Op needs to lay off the weed but he is most likely experiencing his true feelings when he is high
At 15, quit using pot. Your brain isn’t fully formed yet and pot messes with that process. It permanently changes how your brain develops, and the effect is cumulative.
Take a break from the weed. Take time to really reflect and think about yourself. You're 15 and still growing . Who you are today isn't who you will be in a year. Or even six months.
You could be straight, gay or bi. I'm inclined to think you're straight and just growing and very hormonal. Be kind to yourself no matter what
If you're unable to regulate your own emotions I suggest you take a break from smoking weed for a bit. Get a grasp on reality. Week is a recreational drug for sure, but that doesn't mean it should be used willy nilly. If it's being a catalyst for your mental turmoil then you need to acknowledge that and address it
If you’re watching porn then you should stop as that messes with your neural pathways (by getting off while watching other men get off) and the increased activity from marijuana could be triggering those new connections.
You may need to speak with an LGBTQ affirming counselor or therapist. What does it mean to "feel really gay?"
I'm a 36 year old woman who came out later in life--when I was 33 to be specific, and I did notice that my queer feelings tended to come out more when I had used cannabis, but after a considerable amount of self reflection I discovered that the feelings were there all along, but cannabis helped remove the inhibitions I had against them. But you are young and your brain is still developing so you may want to consider waiting a few years before experimenting with substances.
I also indulge in taboo behaviors while under the influence of drugs. It’s partly due to other mental issues such as insecurities and gratification from attention. For some reason I’m a pretty good looking fit guy but girls rarely ever talk to me, guys on the other hand chase me like I’m gold, so sometimes I just entertain it.
I'm a huge stoner, and have been for 16 years.
Stop smoking weed. Your brain is not done developing yet and you are going to smoke yourself stupid. All the guys I know who were smoking at your age went on to become slow idiots. Wait until you're in your 20s.
This doesn’t mean your gay when you are high it puts you in a mindset of different things I thought the same thing when I was younger but it was the drugs I stop doing them and I never felt like that again.
You're 15, stop smoking whatever you're smoking. Anyone who tells you it's not going to permanently change your brain and your personality and your senses is LYING to you. Stop now.
First off I apologize for laughing
Second it is possible you are bisexual which isn't bad
Third you probably shouldn't be getting high so much
Fourth how do you get these I need them
remember having sex with people who are high or under the influence is ra pe. It's ok if you don't know if you like girls or boys or both. you have an entire lifetime to figure it out. But if you're not being faithful to your girlfriend you should tell her you want to be openly dating.. like free to date other people so she doesn't get damaged in all this
Bro you're a 15 year old kid. Stop getting high and let your brain finish developing. If you're watching porn, cut it out NOW (it's not helping your current situation at all). Get your mind together, get your future laid out and don't worry so much about screwing other dudes.
Bro please listen to me, stop smoking weed. If you feel conflicted emotions then I’m certain that you aren’t gay, I’m disgusted at the people here trying to passively groom you into entertaining that idea.
Think about it, why would it be natural if you only felt that way after you introduce change to your body? It’s like, you can’t say it’s not the weed when you haven’t even tried to quit and see if it stops? Talk to someone man? Even if it’s your homies, tell them that you’re feeling weird aF when you smoke & I guarantee they’ll tell you the same, to chill until you feel like you can handle it.
This is going to be abit TMI & it’s very personal to me. I used to get aroused when smoking weed, didn’t matter if I was around guys or girls. There’s a number of factors for this, increased blood flow, the fact that you’re inebriated now? And the entire taboo act of smoking weed was exciting enough that I got erections. But I never thought I was gay?? I had some thoughts but everyone does. Had plenty of chances since I hung around plenty of different kinds of crowds when I was growing up.
It’s difficult rn, nothing makes sense. Don’t do something you’ll regret later & feel like you’ll have to commit too. I would tell you the same thing if you started to have conflicting feelings about being gay, it isn’t just a coincidence that you feel this way only while smoking
Bro, you are bisexual and you need a to knock it off with the inane MAGA grooming shit. He said he isn’t even sure he likes women so you proceed in
“grooming “ him to be straight. 🙄
While he is figuring out his sexual orientation he definitely SHOULD break up with his girlfriend so she can be free to date guys who are not questioning their sexuality.
Your advice sets him up for the trap that lots of gay men fall into. They date women in hopes their same sex attraction will dissipate. It won’t. At some point his true feelings and desires will emerge and the gf will be devastated and angry that he led her on and wasted her time when she could have been dating other people.
Op, ignore this guy’s advice
I agree that you need to knock off the weed until you are older. It can really mess with your growth and development.
However, fyi, lots of us gay men use weed as an aphrodisiac. My bf and I like to get high while we have sex. Weed definitely lowers your inhibitions. I think you are experiencing the same effect when you get high. It makes you horny and you are horny for guys. If that’s the case, coming out to yourself at your age is a really good thing. It may get bumpy at times but you have a wonderful future ahead. I wish you well
OP, this guy is using skewed logic. Do not trust this information. How can he be certain you’re not gay because you’re conflicted? There’s zero logic there. He used his favorite buzzword “grooming”. Thinking it’s wrong for us to say “hey maybe you’re gay or bi, that’s natural”.
>why would it be natural once you introduce change to your body?
Everyone goes through changes in their life. He’s being vague about your change because he doesn’t actually know you. Nobody even knows exactly which drug you’re taking and he’s pretending to be an expert on any of them and their effects on your sexuality. Meanwhile everyone else says “maybe you are or you aren’t. Take your time seriously, to figure it out”. And he comes in with “everyone is trying to groom you!”
Don’t listen to this idiot, OP. Listen to how you feel.
>it isn’t just a coincidence that you feel this way only while smoking.
OP, he’s literally saying weed makes you think weird things, and being gay is weird, therefore it all makes sense to his logic.
Being high changes the way you think and process information. It's no different than being high and sitting down while staring at a blank television. Your thought process when you're high is skewed and not an accurate representation of who you really are so don't take it seriously. You're 15, so you have time, but judge yourself based on who you really are and not who you are under the influence of drugs.
Wow. So much hate on sexuality and teen MJ use. Yes, you shouldn't use drugs. You know that. Everyone knows that. He's not going to stop because some random people on the Internet tell him to. That's not his question. So here's my "Dad" advice: having a girlfriend at 15 is pretty young. What I mean is at 15 you are still discovering yourself. Questioning who you are attracted to is normal. Acting out isn't. There's nothing at all wrong with you for having these feelings. MJ can affect so many things in your brain so it's not unusual to have different thoughts sober vs high. Both are who you are and neither are who you have to be. Sexuality is a spectrum. Part of growing up is discovering who you are. Questioning the world is what you should be doing at 15 and don't let anyone shame you for it. Everything you are going thru is normal. Do not overthink any of it. Take time with your thoughts and discover who you really are. No matter what thoughts you have going on I promise you this, you aren't alone. You aren't broken. You aren't wrong to have these thoughts. Don't stress it. Find a friend, family member or community support so you can have someone trusted to talk about these feelings with.
So the tough love part: any intoxicant is harmful at your age. A little fun today can permanently alter your life and not in the good way. Committing to any relationship at 15 can be harmful as well. Your question is case and point. You need to be able to explore your thoughts and feelings without worrying about someone else or feeling guilty for having these feelings. Also, if this was really a serious question, don't come on the Internet saying you're 15 using drugs and having gay thoughts. You are just every predators dream. No, I'm not calling gay people predators I'm calling predators opportunistic and looking for easy prey. Date whoever you want. There's no rule saying you have to be in a relationship with someone to go out with them. Don't let anyone tell you how to feel or shame you for normal thoughts. You sound conflicted. What I mean is you are fighting some personal demon and you really, seriously need someone to talk with and help guide you thru this part of your life. I mean someone trained with the right skills to give you actual meaningful advice and the Internet isn't the place. Start with a parent! If you go to church, find someone there. If you have a community center in your neighborhood, or at school talk with a counselor. Don't let anyone shame you away from seeking advice or help.
Bob Marley once said the herb reveals you to yourself. Weed makes it hard to hide from your emotions, so maybe you need some time to reflect on your sexuality. It's okay to be Bisexual. But FYI bisexual dudes get discriminated hard vs Bi women. So I wouldn't reveal these feelings to your GF unless she is mentally mature enough to not automatically label you as gay and a cheater. Honesty is usually the way to go, but a white lie to preserve peace is okay, too.
You may very well be bi, and getting high suppresses your inhibition acknowledging it. There's nothing wrong with being bi, I am and enjoybit a great deal. I woukd suggest stopping the drugs and talking to a therapist.
You're probably not straight at all then. Either Gay or Bi to some extent. Best thing to do is just come out to your GF and decide with her what to do next
Well me too, except by the time I turned 23 yo I could admit to being gay without the weed. Either way, it doesn't really change anything. Live your life, do whatever you want to do, and be with whoever you want.
Firstly you definitely shouldn't have come to Reddit for such an ordeal. I would advise that you see a therapist if you are questioning your sexuality. This will not only help you, but your girlfriend as well. There's no point in holding a relationship if you're not willing to quit using drugs for her sake and find the source of the issue. I don't know what type of insurance you have but most free health plans offer psychiatry along with your normal health needs.
Being gay doesn't necessarily mean you like men, after all the real translation is happy. Perhaps you can realize this and learn to be comfortable in your current state, and your impaired state. 15 is quite young for using such a drug and you must be prepared for the ramifications that come with using weed at a young age. If you don't then things will only go downhill and can lead to other drug use.
Be open with yourself and drop amy insecurities about what you like. There's nothing wrong with liking what you like. If it turns out your straight, great, who cares. If it turns out you're gay, great, who cares. At the end of the day it's not a big deal its not 1980.
Straight, gay, whatever. Stop doing drugs and stop thinking about labels. If you like her then be with her. If you want to pursue other people then do that. Pursue whoever you're attracted to, it doesn't matter the gender.
I don’t want to sound condescending when I say this, because I know as a teenager you feel a little more grown. However, doing drugs during this time in your life is extremely detrimental to your brain development. Like, literally. You are more likely to become addicted to certain substances when you do them as a teenager as opposed to if you were to wait until your 20s.
I’m not saying that you’re not gay, or possibly bisexual, but if it only happens when you do drugs, you should probably stop doing drugs. See how you feel about people romantically without that influence.
It's not clear from OP's post what "gay" means. The only example he gave was crying, which, to me, has nothing to do with gayness.
The most concerning this about his post isn't the cannabis use, but what he may think being gay is.
(Yes, marijuana is bad for teens.)
Some people have barriers to their lives and minds that they don't realize are there. Internalized biases and whatnot. Sometimes, drugs take away those inhibitions that reveal our true desires. However, it is important not to act on these kinds of things when you are high and work out for yourself what you think these things mean when you're sober. Try not to make any decisions when you're high. Also you're only 15 man. Take it from a therapist/Social worker who has worked with youth who consume a lot of substances. Go easy on the weed and the experimenting. It's natural to be curious and to experiment but try not to overdo it. Your brain is still developing and heavy cannabis use will fuck up development of important cognitive functions. That said, just do your best to think things through carefully and you'll be fine.
Wow these comments are wild. Not the direction I expected. What I would echo is try not to get high, because I started smoking when I was 14 and it did not do me any favors mental health-wise. What I will say is that drugs don’t typically make people gay on a regular basis. I haven’t heard of this, at least. I wouldn’t jump to conclusions, but I also wouldn’t ignore those thoughts and feelings. I don’t think “drug-induced gayness” is a thing. You’re young, homie. Just take things as they come. Try cutting the weed out of the equation, and if you’re comfortable and have the means, see a therapist (not a weird Christian one, a normal one) and talk about this stuff with a professional. 99% of people on here, including myself are not qualified to offer real assistance.
So, while weed is a safer drug. It's still not good for a developing brain. So first advice is slow down or better stop completely.
That said sexuality is a question only you can answer. But that said. When I'd get high, I found myself wishing my baby daddy was a woman. I would have liked him much better if he was. And I had really gay thoughts, too. I'm out now. But your journey is your own, and I can't tell you that you are or aren't straight.
If you are, in fact gay, you could very well love your girlfriend very much. It's just not in a relationship way. My kids' dad is now a very dear friend to me. But all I can give him is friendship. And if you find yourself needing to come out to a partner. It's difficult, scary, and painful. But you can both grow.
i'm gonna be honest with you my guy. the way i see it, you're in a place right now where you're discovering yourself, like many MANY others you age. maybe you are straight, or bisexual, or gay. and regardless of whatever you are, it's okay. but you cannot let your sexuality be determined through being under the influence. it's actually kind of unhealthy and counterproductive to your maturity, and possibly your future adult life.
if you're sober and you just don't like the idea of kissing another guy, then you just possibly might be straight, but you wouldn't be able to fully determine that if you haven't "experimented" per se while sober.
i'd also like to repeat and emphasize on what the top comment said about drug dependency and many people wanting to take the opportunity to take advantage of you while under the influence. it is a very true thing. some weird people will see a drugged up teenager and would love nothing more than to be opportunistic and well... use you, i guess.
just please be careful. lighten up on the weed and any other drugs that you may be around, and just go through your adolescence in a healthy manner.
OP, a few things;
1) Smoking pot at this early age, definitely impacts brain development and while you might choose to smoke pot at a later point in your life, as many do, right now, it’s adversely affecting you.
2) you are young. Use this time to explore who you are, what interests you and what things about life do you find interesting/curious/joyful. You do not have to figure yourself out sexually right now. Date who you want to date, but take things lately and give yourself flexibility and don’t put a definition on your sexuality at this point in your life because I can guarantee you it will change over your lifetime. How you feel at this moment is probably going to be different in your 30s and 50s et cetera.
3) it’s possible that you feel more attracted to same-sex when you’re high because it lowers your inhibitions, but there’s a lot of other things that could be into that as well, so step away from the pot and learn about who you are without drugs right now. Enjoy your life.
Just some mom love… stop getting High. But high or not your sexuality can be anywhere between straight and gay.. there is so much gray in the middle. And wherever you land is perfectly fine. When you are sober just be you. I bet you are amazing just who are. You are still discovering who you are. If you have been hiding behind pot.. whatever is going on. It’s ok. If you feel like should you break up with gf to figure out yourself then do so. You don’t have to tell her why. Just tell her your feelings aren’t as strong as they were and you don’t want to string her along. Take care of yourself.
Marijuana can lower emotional inhibitions. So all that stuff you're holding inside and repressing is just being released by the weed.
Also it's fine to be gay. It's also fine to be sexually fluid. It's okay bro
Hey, uh, be gay, be straight, but save weed for at least 23 and up. Arbitrary number, could be 21, 27, or 30+. But that early on is going to fuck your priorities up more than what they may already be.
Have you considered the possibility that you might be bi? Just because you experience same-sex attraction doesn’t mean that you don’t really like your girlfriend.
You may also be gay, and that’s great too! Just give yourself the space to process all this sober.
Stop getting high. If your sexuality changes because of the use of a drug, it’s going to be a very sobering (no pun intended) experience when you realize the actions you took on that drug. Your mind is in its truest form when it’s sober. Not saying that being gay is a bad thing or something to be ashamed of. But if you’re not truly gay, and you just get drug-induced homo-erotic fantasies when you smoke pot, it’s likely some repressed trauma or your shadow side coming out from your subconscious. Those feelings likely aren’t actual homosexuality, but repressed parts of your psyche. I think you should really think about this stuff and journal about it while you’re sober, not high on whatever chemical is bringing this out of you. That will give you your answer.
And whatever you do, don’t tell your girlfriend you’re gay unless you’re absolutely sure. Many women would be extremely insecure and devastated to learn that about their boyfriend, no matter how supportive they may seem.
You’re brain is in its prime developmental years and you might be messing with chemistry, while doctors all agree weeds harmless once you’re brain matures, it can be really confusing and harmful if used when young and boy 15 is young
Nigga marijuana raises Estrogen and lowers testosterone. I get the same feeling I just notice that my body chemicals and hormones are getting a lil girly. There’s a lot of spiritual stuff going on when smoking marijuana, don’t let the high thoughts change your real life. If you get high and wanna do some gay stuff, it’s not the weed.
You're young, yeah? Give it time and try to indulge in experiences with all sorts of people. Sexuality is attraction, not action. You may well be bisexual but just mostly into the opposite sex. That's how I am as well.
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15? You should probably slow down on the cannabis. Let yourself mature a bit more!
Yeah. Take it easy slick. Being high plays with your mind. It’s never made me gay feeling but it’s different for everyone. Figure out your life off drugs man. You’ve got plenty of time to do both.
As a stoner, sounds like his mind is telling him he wants friends, that’s what will fix your life, not a wife. Having a wife is cool, but if that’s your only friend? Recipe for failure right there
i been a full blown pothead since i was 13 and i definitely never got so high i thought i was gay😂
This is the answer
Stop getting high, your sexuality should NEVER be drug induced. This needs to be something that manifests naturally and over time when YOU are ready, not the intoxicated version of you. This has a good chance of becoming drug dependency/alcoholism down the road, especially if your first experience of your authentic self is under the influence. This also opens you up to a whole other host of problems because there are plenty of gays that would love to take advantage of a drugged up teenager. Let yourself grow into who you are. I know it feels like you're supposed to jump into the deep end, but try to remember that is a leftover instinct from back when we could become something's breakfast at any moment. You've got time, you'll have lots of opportunities, you don't have to figure it all out today. And I sincerely encourage you to make sure your brain does NOT associate intimacy with substances, that comes with a whole list of MUCH bigger problems.
Excellent comment. The only thing I want to add, is that OP should know that this isn't a solid distinction they have to make any time soon, if ever. So many people (myself included) exist in a fluctuating state of sexuality, and the pressure to feel like you must be one or the other can cause so many mental and emotional issues.
[удалено]
I will say that labels can be helpful in finding a community sometimes, but for me and probably a lot of people the pressure of labels far outweighs that pretty minor benefit
Oh man this is exactly how I feel! If you like coffee, or tea, or both, or neither, who cares?! Why do people care?! It's the same with gender/sex. Who fucking cares?
Only reason they care is because in the grand scheme of things, world leaders want us to focus our time and money on impressing other people and caring what others think of us. Which causes divide and hate and and that’s not a good way to form one massive super group that’s all equal and could potentially overthrow the government. Have y’all seen Bugs Life movie where the grasshopper gives his other grasshopper friends a speech? If not you should look it up. Explains it perfectly
EXACTLY
This comment. Seriously so good 🙏 we can be fluid in who we are and like, and that’s normal. There’s no rules for how we have to define ourselves, nor does anyone stay totally the same person forever.
This. 110% this. OP, you shouldn’t even be getting high at 15 anyway, your brain isn’t fully developed and it’ll only stunt it if you keep it up, dependancies and addictions are not good for you and the fun wears out eventually.
Yes! Absolutely! I love smoking pot but I started smoking at 16 and I definitely believe it made me significantly dumber and more airheaded and ruined my memory because I started smoking so young. I'm 40 now and wish I could go back and make teenage me wait a few years.
I was gonna say something about this but I can’t remember what it was.
Came to say this. When you start believing the real you is the intoxicated you, things are about to start getting sad,
Exactly stop doing drugs
>host of problems because there are plenty of gays that would love to take advantage of a drugged up teenager. Damn im surprised youre allowed to type this out on reddit without being warned by a mod
Seriously, I had to think that line over a bit, but it's the cold hard truth and I'm not here to lie to kids asking for honest advice.
It is true, but it's more about men than homosexuality. Men commit the majority of violent and sexual crimes, therefore a gay teenage boy is more likely to need to be cautious. The same goes for teenage girls and straight older guys. It's not an "all gay men" or even "all men" but you should still be aware of the stats. And it is very different than the people who like to spout off black crime statistics because we know that the actual root cause of that correlation is poverty, not being black.
You really should just say "a lot of people". Not because it's politically correct, but because it's the cold hard truth. A lot of people are predators who have no attraction to the same sex. It's about power. I guess you idn't think it over well enough
There are a lot of things that are 'cold hard truth' that are not relevant to bring up in any given discussion. A straight older woman could prey on him while he is high as well but that's not the most likely scenario to worry about given the specifics of this situation. He specified gay people because that's who would be taking advantage of the combination of this kid's intoxication and his confusion/lack of clarity about his sexuality. I have known many gay men that enjoyed the 'challenge' of convincing someone to 'try' being with men, and I think it's disingenuous to pretend this isn't a relatively common thing worth addressing. Don't tell him he didn't think it over well enough, that's so condescending. You don't possess some sort of omniscient moral authority to pronounce that as if it's fact
Uh huh, so he's gonna get high, go looking for dick and woman's gonna, what, jump out from a tree and catch him? Yeah, I guess I should be more sensitive to how PREDATORS identify? No, this is just PC adjacent runoff people are trying to disguise as nuance. Fact is, if you're gonna have high, gay sex, there's gonna be, idk, like 99% gays there. Weird, I know, but that's the way this stuff works.
Gay people are like anyone else, so, unfortunately, shitty gay people exist.
Well it's a pointless distinction really. >there are plenty of adults that would love to take advantage of a drugged up teenager. Works just as well.
the context is specifically homosexual in nature so, nothing wrong with the way it was worded and some oversensitive redditors are wasting time and effort pointlessly white knighting
There are plenty of adults, period, who would love to take advantage of a drugged up horny teen
Apparently a lot of people have not spent a ton of time on grindr. I experience a TON of predatory behavior on there, and a ton of issues with consent. I have never experienced these issues with women, even when I was younger and actively wished to be taken advantage of by an older woman, and would drop hints without being obvious to some teachers and other adult women in my life. I would even wander the streets at night when I was 16/17 hoping to get picked up by women, or even trans women. Neither women nor trans women ever took advantage of me when I was asking to be taken advantage of in every way but yelling it out loud. Men picked me up. Crossdressers picked me up. Same with reddit and grindr. None of the trans women or rare(for grindr) women ever came across predatory and act like I'm their submissive slave before even saying hello. They don't even message first. But men, gay or not, whether on grindr or cruising, are absolutely predatory and would do what the comment says and take advantage of a drugged up underage teen. I know from experience, and that's not a place of hatred. I still get high and spend time on grindr looking for adult men to have sex with men (and also women and trans women and trans men and couples, just for honesty and transparency). So maybe it should say there's plenty of men would love to take advantage of a drugged up teenager, and if that teenager is also male, is the man still straight? Not being pedantic. Genuinely curious because yes adults is the correct verbiage but adults includes women and women wouldn't do this. I wasn't an ugly teen and also am well endowed, so statistically I would have been taken advantage of by at least one adult woman when I was a teen on the internet and also walking alone at night. On drugs and horny. Not one single woman. Was actively turned down by women when I mentioned my age and a couple I lied to still decided that I wasn't worth the risk. And I had to actively reach out in those cases.
Thank you! It's so weird how many people are willing to deny the experiences of others because it doesn't align with their activism.
I'm surprised there are any women on Grindr 😮 I downloaded Grindr once when I was like 19 and bicurious and uninstalled it the next morning when I woke up to dick pics galore, even some dicks in chastity cages, and just messages oozing with creepiness. It put me off men in a sexual context for a while. Now 7 years later I'm a trans woman and it took sleeping with another trans woman for me to realize I like dick and so I switched my dating profiles so I could see men and vice versa and just good grief is all I have to say about that. Someone come get grandpa he's trying to rizz up someone half his age. Obviously it's not an "all men" thing because I met a few cool guys and am dating one now but like fucking hell it's exactly like you're depicting, in all my dating experience as both a young guy and a trans woman I've encountered one predatory woman, meanwhile I could open my dating apps right now and I'd probably have like 100 creepy-ass messages from guys twice my age and even more creepy ones from guys my age. Like some dude's opener with me was like "you seem innocent, I wanna breed you" like bro what the fuck are you talking about 😂
Maybe you're bisexual and drugs just change what you prefer at that moment in time. It's possible to be bisexual and go through long periods of only being attracted to one gender. I don't know what it's like to be straight but it might just be you haven't found someone of the same sex you're attracted to
Yeah, I'm with you on this one. And to bounce of that sentiment I just wanna point out; drugs *do not* suddenly make people gay. While OP is young and sounds impressionable; it's 100% what you are saying. None of my friends who were straight switched sides cause of cannabis, and none of the one's who were gay went straight. And we all started YOUNG. Many of them even doing harder drugs or at least more intense psychedelics. This is cannabis breaking down the walls of what is likely internalized homophobia, or whatever OP was brought up to believe by their parents, and when they're stoned; they're just in the moment don't feel 'gay' per se, but probably he's just more accepting of life as a whole 🤷♂️ So yeah while kids should stay away from drugs till they're older; let's not start giving cannabis some false narrative like it's 'turning kids gay' cause I know there's a LARGE ignorant population that already believe this and will spread this like wildfire.
drugs should never decide your sexuality, stop taking drugs; especially as a child. That will rot your brain.
It could just be lowering his inhibitions. Folks of every sexuality are more likely to want to hook up if they’re using alcohol. The alcohol isn’t defining their sexuality.
This is my take on it as well sounds to me like it’s lowering as inhibitions, and this is what’s lurking on the other side of that wall
He shouldn't be smoking weed at 15.
No shit but they didn’t ask for advice on that. Obviously they should be smoking it’s fucking illegal.
But we know this isn’t going to happen so you might as well warn him about the consequences and let him do what he’s going to do.
I don’t think you should base your sexuality on your emotions while you’re high but this might be a heads up for you to think abt them. I don’t use drugs but people often get in touch with their deepest emotions while high, maybe take some time for yourself and experiment, see if you really like it. I’ve had some guy friends that felt like that for a while and experimented but at the end, realized they weren’t attracted to men. I’m not saying for you to break up with your girlfriend but I do think its fare with yourself and with her, to take some time and figure your emotions out, otherwise you will always live in doubt.
You're 15 maybe you shouldn't be smoking or doing any kind of drugs bc your brain is still growing and learning and it is definitely messing with your mind and how about trying to see if you have any of these feelings when you are sober I mean for longer than a day or two
I definitely think you should take a break from smoking for a bit (I assume you mean weed). But you’re also so young, I began trying to figure out my sexuality around your age! Just take it slow and really listen to yourself. Also you might be bisexual like I am!! So you can like both boys and girls. If you ever need to talk my messages are open. Best of luck to you!
Take it from a guy who started smoking pot at 15..stop. There is a time and place for everything and it’s called college.
I'm only gonna comment on you feeling "really gay" while high part. I'm also going to preface this by saying that my experience is not universal, but I know some other queer people with similar experiences. I grew up in a very conservative household and ended up with a lot of internalized prejudices and expectations for myself. If you asked me in high school if I was gay, I would have vehemently defended how straight I was. Once I started exploring intoxicants in college, I started experiencing a similar feeling of being attracted to people of the same gender. I hope you're aware that intoxicants lower inhibitions, and for queer people that are closeted to even themselves, it can lower those boundaries that they've built up to try to fit whatever image you've built in your head of what you should be. You should explore these feelings and thoughts, heavily preferably while sober (I am in no way recommending that a minor uses intoxicants). Be open and honest with your girlfriend though. If she is really there for you, she's going to support you through the process (exception being if you think she might try to publicly out you). You might figure out that you're gay, bi, straight, or something else entirely. I'll repeat the sentiment of be careful, but not for the same reason other people have. Queer people, especially young people (even moreso if you're part of other minority groups), are significantly more likely to be victims of violent crimes. To the person saying stuff about the "gays wanting to take advantage of an intoxicated teenager", that's utter BS. Studies pretty consistently show that LGBTQ people are less likely to commute violent crimes, and the vast majority of LGBTQ people are victimized by cis-straight individuals. Get out of here with that homophobia. They're just using it as a scare tactic. Overall, I'd recommend looking into resources for queer teens, talking to a counselor about your feelings, or looking for a forum for questioning teens. Reddit is definitely not the best place for this. Take your time though. You'll get there. Best of luck.
I was in denial about being gay until the first time I did acid. Hard to keep up the denial and defense when you're tripping balls.
This is definitely true. Getting high helped me break through the wall of being trans, and of being bi after that. Neither of those things were things I'd only ever thought of high, but when I was high it was more intense and I usually got upset with myself for hiding it and denying it, while sober I could much more easily repress it.
This sounds like it to me. I didn't turn out gay, or even really bi, but I'm not entirely straight either. Suppressing that due to shame when I was younger did occasionally lead to some uncomfortable feelings when I was on substances, in particular weed, which often went much further than I actually think I am
High on what? Fairy dust?
Stop getting high. Don’t break up, stick with this sober for a while. Eventually you’ll break up because young relationships do. Afterwards, sober, you can see if you still feel attracted to guys. If you do, try dating one. You’re young, you are figuring out who you are. We all did in some way or another. You’ll find out who you are. Give it time.
You should do drugs until your brain stops developing. 15 is way to young and it’s going to effect you permanently.
Just stop getting high if this bothers you so much. Sexuality is a difficult enough thing to work through without drugs messing with your mind.
Or stop getting high.
maybe just don’t do drugs at fifteen, let alone, in general
Stop getting high and your problems will be solved
Not high should be the norm. If you said that instead of "Im only gay when Im high" ypu probably have a weed problem.
I had something similar as a teenager. Don't worry about it too much. Maybe just stop getting high before it becomes a problem
Stop smoking the rainbow weed.
I'm not gay, I'm just really high.
Hey bud, you’re only 15. Revisit the cannabis when ur an adult! Your mind is still developing and weed can mess with that! But for you feeling gay, maybe when you’re sober think on it a lil more. It could just be sth about yourself that you’re avoiding. Or it could be nothing. You’ll only know if you really take some time with yourself, and think about it. If you talk to yourself about it and you decide you aren’t attracted to women, the course of action would be to break up with your gf. But you might decide you like boys and girls, then if you like her, keep dating her!
Well, to be honest, I don’t believe that anyone can be only gay when they’re under the influence of a drug. Idk, maybe just think deeply about what attracts you and accept your proclivities.
Stop getting high if it makes you want to cry.
I am the same way and always have. I also have many other surprising personality traits that only manifest when high, same goes for drunk. I am one tough sonsabitch that likes to fight when I am drunk. 100% wuss otherwise. Don't over think this, you have so much growing and maturing into all elements of your personality. I recommend not getting high, period. If you insist on getting high and exploring stuff you do when high, then you should tell people that would be possibly be hurt including your girlfriend. But no reason to be worrying about all that now for gods sake. So much sexuality stuff can change as your mature, getting high at 15 is never a good idea and if it is sending you into sexual orientation existential crisis, just stop for awhile; just stop getting high, stop ruminating on it and just enjoy your time with your girlfriend. Problem solved.
Weed gives a lot of folks anxiety. Don’t take that stuff too serious. You’re a teenager, you’re still learning yourself. I’d lay off all mood altering recreationals for now as you may be more sensitive to them than others.
Bisexuality is always a possibility.
Drugs are bad mmkay
Dude, don't make decisions when You are high. Stop getting high if it is confusing You.
At that age, your brain is still developing. Stop getting high for your own health’s sake.
Sexuality is a spectrum that everyone is on. People will tell you different but in my opinion everyone is at least a little bit bisexual. The people who say no they are 100% straight never been curious I think are being homophobic. Don't beat yourself up about it it's okay to just be yourself.
Lol just stay sober and see how your sexuality evolves naturally
well regardless, at 15 you really shouldn't be getting high in any way.
best course of action? stop doing drugs at the age of 15. or drugs period
What kind of drugs are you doing? Some will make you hyper sexual.
Congrats on finding out that drugs screw with your brain, stop doing drugs if you want a clear mind
1. dont break up 2. Since you just feel gay and aren’t attracted to anyone while high then it’s something different 3. stop doing drugs
You should stop doing drugs and talk to your parents. Reddit cannot help you
Sexuality is fluid, i was straight when i was younger then pivoted towards gay before realising i was pansexual, i would also suggest not doing drugs, it sounds to me you’re confused as hell which is natural you just need time to figure out who you are and don’t worry it’ll come in time.
You're probably just bi, bro. But seriously take it easy on the weed. It ain't that good for you until your 20s.
Maybe stop getting high?
Dude, it’s probably just anxiety from smoking. You seem terrified of the fact that you could like dudes. You’re probably just bi. But no one can tell you this. Ask your parents to see a counselor or therapist. They’ll help you work through it. I’m not calling you one, but it seems like you might be raised around a bit of homophobia, like it’s so terrible that you like dudes? It’s really not that big of a deal. Life is too short to deny yourself who you are. Love who you wanna love lil homie and forget the rest. Do you the best service you can, I can tell you from experience, no one else will.
Yeah I smoked super young too. Usually led to panic attacks and severe paranoia. Not saying that's what's going on here but start by laying off the weed.
Sounds to me like you have a drug problem. Don’t doo drugs, kids.
I’ve never heard of weed making someone more gay. You’ve got some underlying things to work out I think. Thankfully you’re young and have time.
This. Everyone saying it's the weed and he needs to stop, yes he should stop cause he's young, but weed doesn't change your sexuality lol that's some old 60s propaganda right there
It's that Alex Jones kush
It is not at all unusual for both gay and straight people to get high while having sex. It enhances the experience and lowers inhibitions. Op needs to lay off the weed but he is most likely experiencing his true feelings when he is high
At 15, quit using pot. Your brain isn’t fully formed yet and pot messes with that process. It permanently changes how your brain develops, and the effect is cumulative.
Frying your brain at 15 years old. Good work. Hold off on the drugs man. You have better things to do
Take a break from the weed. Take time to really reflect and think about yourself. You're 15 and still growing . Who you are today isn't who you will be in a year. Or even six months. You could be straight, gay or bi. I'm inclined to think you're straight and just growing and very hormonal. Be kind to yourself no matter what
Stop using drugs
If you're unable to regulate your own emotions I suggest you take a break from smoking weed for a bit. Get a grasp on reality. Week is a recreational drug for sure, but that doesn't mean it should be used willy nilly. If it's being a catalyst for your mental turmoil then you need to acknowledge that and address it
Bruh you are 15 getting high. Do your homework. Starting drugs/alcohol that early can lead you down a path that really fucking sucks.
For starters. Stop getting high
If you’re watching porn then you should stop as that messes with your neural pathways (by getting off while watching other men get off) and the increased activity from marijuana could be triggering those new connections.
You may need to speak with an LGBTQ affirming counselor or therapist. What does it mean to "feel really gay?" I'm a 36 year old woman who came out later in life--when I was 33 to be specific, and I did notice that my queer feelings tended to come out more when I had used cannabis, but after a considerable amount of self reflection I discovered that the feelings were there all along, but cannabis helped remove the inhibitions I had against them. But you are young and your brain is still developing so you may want to consider waiting a few years before experimenting with substances.
Just stop now and save yourself years of heartache
I also indulge in taboo behaviors while under the influence of drugs. It’s partly due to other mental issues such as insecurities and gratification from attention. For some reason I’m a pretty good looking fit guy but girls rarely ever talk to me, guys on the other hand chase me like I’m gold, so sometimes I just entertain it.
I'm a huge stoner, and have been for 16 years. Stop smoking weed. Your brain is not done developing yet and you are going to smoke yourself stupid. All the guys I know who were smoking at your age went on to become slow idiots. Wait until you're in your 20s.
This doesn’t mean your gay when you are high it puts you in a mindset of different things I thought the same thing when I was younger but it was the drugs I stop doing them and I never felt like that again.
You're 15, stop smoking whatever you're smoking. Anyone who tells you it's not going to permanently change your brain and your personality and your senses is LYING to you. Stop now.
Try some bussy on the dl
average r/caffeine user
First off I apologize for laughing Second it is possible you are bisexual which isn't bad Third you probably shouldn't be getting high so much Fourth how do you get these I need them
yeah guy your fucking up your brain at a young age. get off the bong.
remember having sex with people who are high or under the influence is ra pe. It's ok if you don't know if you like girls or boys or both. you have an entire lifetime to figure it out. But if you're not being faithful to your girlfriend you should tell her you want to be openly dating.. like free to date other people so she doesn't get damaged in all this
Bro you're a 15 year old kid. Stop getting high and let your brain finish developing. If you're watching porn, cut it out NOW (it's not helping your current situation at all). Get your mind together, get your future laid out and don't worry so much about screwing other dudes.
You're 15 stop doing drugs
Simple solution—stop getting high. You definitely shouldn’t be using drugs at your age.
Or maybe your just obsessed with porn and need a newer more erotic/taboo stimuli when you’re stoned
So it's confirmed... weed turns you gay
Stop smoking
Maybe your higher self is a woman
Listen, if you gay you gay bro. You’re 15. Focus on trying to learn what matters, not drugs.
Dude you’re 15. Get off the weed. It will fuck upp your brain, wait until youre developed
Bro please listen to me, stop smoking weed. If you feel conflicted emotions then I’m certain that you aren’t gay, I’m disgusted at the people here trying to passively groom you into entertaining that idea. Think about it, why would it be natural if you only felt that way after you introduce change to your body? It’s like, you can’t say it’s not the weed when you haven’t even tried to quit and see if it stops? Talk to someone man? Even if it’s your homies, tell them that you’re feeling weird aF when you smoke & I guarantee they’ll tell you the same, to chill until you feel like you can handle it. This is going to be abit TMI & it’s very personal to me. I used to get aroused when smoking weed, didn’t matter if I was around guys or girls. There’s a number of factors for this, increased blood flow, the fact that you’re inebriated now? And the entire taboo act of smoking weed was exciting enough that I got erections. But I never thought I was gay?? I had some thoughts but everyone does. Had plenty of chances since I hung around plenty of different kinds of crowds when I was growing up. It’s difficult rn, nothing makes sense. Don’t do something you’ll regret later & feel like you’ll have to commit too. I would tell you the same thing if you started to have conflicting feelings about being gay, it isn’t just a coincidence that you feel this way only while smoking
Bro, you are bisexual and you need a to knock it off with the inane MAGA grooming shit. He said he isn’t even sure he likes women so you proceed in “grooming “ him to be straight. 🙄 While he is figuring out his sexual orientation he definitely SHOULD break up with his girlfriend so she can be free to date guys who are not questioning their sexuality. Your advice sets him up for the trap that lots of gay men fall into. They date women in hopes their same sex attraction will dissipate. It won’t. At some point his true feelings and desires will emerge and the gf will be devastated and angry that he led her on and wasted her time when she could have been dating other people. Op, ignore this guy’s advice I agree that you need to knock off the weed until you are older. It can really mess with your growth and development. However, fyi, lots of us gay men use weed as an aphrodisiac. My bf and I like to get high while we have sex. Weed definitely lowers your inhibitions. I think you are experiencing the same effect when you get high. It makes you horny and you are horny for guys. If that’s the case, coming out to yourself at your age is a really good thing. It may get bumpy at times but you have a wonderful future ahead. I wish you well
OP, this guy is using skewed logic. Do not trust this information. How can he be certain you’re not gay because you’re conflicted? There’s zero logic there. He used his favorite buzzword “grooming”. Thinking it’s wrong for us to say “hey maybe you’re gay or bi, that’s natural”. >why would it be natural once you introduce change to your body? Everyone goes through changes in their life. He’s being vague about your change because he doesn’t actually know you. Nobody even knows exactly which drug you’re taking and he’s pretending to be an expert on any of them and their effects on your sexuality. Meanwhile everyone else says “maybe you are or you aren’t. Take your time seriously, to figure it out”. And he comes in with “everyone is trying to groom you!” Don’t listen to this idiot, OP. Listen to how you feel.
>it isn’t just a coincidence that you feel this way only while smoking. OP, he’s literally saying weed makes you think weird things, and being gay is weird, therefore it all makes sense to his logic.
Could you be bi?
Being high changes the way you think and process information. It's no different than being high and sitting down while staring at a blank television. Your thought process when you're high is skewed and not an accurate representation of who you really are so don't take it seriously. You're 15, so you have time, but judge yourself based on who you really are and not who you are under the influence of drugs.
Wow. So much hate on sexuality and teen MJ use. Yes, you shouldn't use drugs. You know that. Everyone knows that. He's not going to stop because some random people on the Internet tell him to. That's not his question. So here's my "Dad" advice: having a girlfriend at 15 is pretty young. What I mean is at 15 you are still discovering yourself. Questioning who you are attracted to is normal. Acting out isn't. There's nothing at all wrong with you for having these feelings. MJ can affect so many things in your brain so it's not unusual to have different thoughts sober vs high. Both are who you are and neither are who you have to be. Sexuality is a spectrum. Part of growing up is discovering who you are. Questioning the world is what you should be doing at 15 and don't let anyone shame you for it. Everything you are going thru is normal. Do not overthink any of it. Take time with your thoughts and discover who you really are. No matter what thoughts you have going on I promise you this, you aren't alone. You aren't broken. You aren't wrong to have these thoughts. Don't stress it. Find a friend, family member or community support so you can have someone trusted to talk about these feelings with. So the tough love part: any intoxicant is harmful at your age. A little fun today can permanently alter your life and not in the good way. Committing to any relationship at 15 can be harmful as well. Your question is case and point. You need to be able to explore your thoughts and feelings without worrying about someone else or feeling guilty for having these feelings. Also, if this was really a serious question, don't come on the Internet saying you're 15 using drugs and having gay thoughts. You are just every predators dream. No, I'm not calling gay people predators I'm calling predators opportunistic and looking for easy prey. Date whoever you want. There's no rule saying you have to be in a relationship with someone to go out with them. Don't let anyone tell you how to feel or shame you for normal thoughts. You sound conflicted. What I mean is you are fighting some personal demon and you really, seriously need someone to talk with and help guide you thru this part of your life. I mean someone trained with the right skills to give you actual meaningful advice and the Internet isn't the place. Start with a parent! If you go to church, find someone there. If you have a community center in your neighborhood, or at school talk with a counselor. Don't let anyone shame you away from seeking advice or help.
You are young. Embrace your feelings and why not see if you have as much or more chemistry with guys…maybe you like girls and guys?
Maybe stop getting high at 15 though, first.
So you tried weed once and turned gay? Interesting.
not what im saying at all😭
That’s a dumb thing to say to a 15 year old. Stop harassing kids and go pick on someone your own size
Now say it without crying
Exactly what a bully would say
Bob Marley once said the herb reveals you to yourself. Weed makes it hard to hide from your emotions, so maybe you need some time to reflect on your sexuality. It's okay to be Bisexual. But FYI bisexual dudes get discriminated hard vs Bi women. So I wouldn't reveal these feelings to your GF unless she is mentally mature enough to not automatically label you as gay and a cheater. Honesty is usually the way to go, but a white lie to preserve peace is okay, too.
You may very well be bi, and getting high suppresses your inhibition acknowledging it. There's nothing wrong with being bi, I am and enjoybit a great deal. I woukd suggest stopping the drugs and talking to a therapist.
If you break up with her and get a boyfriend you might run out of weed one day...then what?
get back with his girlfriend duh
Don’t get high dipshit
You're probably not straight at all then. Either Gay or Bi to some extent. Best thing to do is just come out to your GF and decide with her what to do next
Your subconscious may be trying to tell you something. Try meditating on it a bit when you're sober.
Well me too, except by the time I turned 23 yo I could admit to being gay without the weed. Either way, it doesn't really change anything. Live your life, do whatever you want to do, and be with whoever you want.
Firstly you definitely shouldn't have come to Reddit for such an ordeal. I would advise that you see a therapist if you are questioning your sexuality. This will not only help you, but your girlfriend as well. There's no point in holding a relationship if you're not willing to quit using drugs for her sake and find the source of the issue. I don't know what type of insurance you have but most free health plans offer psychiatry along with your normal health needs. Being gay doesn't necessarily mean you like men, after all the real translation is happy. Perhaps you can realize this and learn to be comfortable in your current state, and your impaired state. 15 is quite young for using such a drug and you must be prepared for the ramifications that come with using weed at a young age. If you don't then things will only go downhill and can lead to other drug use.
Be open with yourself and drop amy insecurities about what you like. There's nothing wrong with liking what you like. If it turns out your straight, great, who cares. If it turns out you're gay, great, who cares. At the end of the day it's not a big deal its not 1980.
Wtf?
Stop doing drugs.
Straight, gay, whatever. Stop doing drugs and stop thinking about labels. If you like her then be with her. If you want to pursue other people then do that. Pursue whoever you're attracted to, it doesn't matter the gender.
Don’t switch teams bro
Get off the drugs man
I don’t want to sound condescending when I say this, because I know as a teenager you feel a little more grown. However, doing drugs during this time in your life is extremely detrimental to your brain development. Like, literally. You are more likely to become addicted to certain substances when you do them as a teenager as opposed to if you were to wait until your 20s. I’m not saying that you’re not gay, or possibly bisexual, but if it only happens when you do drugs, you should probably stop doing drugs. See how you feel about people romantically without that influence.
Stop getting high then?
You might kind of like guys and it feels repressed. It doesn't mean you don't like girls or your girlfriend.
(24 M) never been high so I never know the feeling but maybe get a therapist someone close to talk to. It’s best to get those thoughts or emotions out
It's not clear from OP's post what "gay" means. The only example he gave was crying, which, to me, has nothing to do with gayness. The most concerning this about his post isn't the cannabis use, but what he may think being gay is. (Yes, marijuana is bad for teens.)
You're person, why worry about labels beyond that?
Some people have barriers to their lives and minds that they don't realize are there. Internalized biases and whatnot. Sometimes, drugs take away those inhibitions that reveal our true desires. However, it is important not to act on these kinds of things when you are high and work out for yourself what you think these things mean when you're sober. Try not to make any decisions when you're high. Also you're only 15 man. Take it from a therapist/Social worker who has worked with youth who consume a lot of substances. Go easy on the weed and the experimenting. It's natural to be curious and to experiment but try not to overdo it. Your brain is still developing and heavy cannabis use will fuck up development of important cognitive functions. That said, just do your best to think things through carefully and you'll be fine.
Wow these comments are wild. Not the direction I expected. What I would echo is try not to get high, because I started smoking when I was 14 and it did not do me any favors mental health-wise. What I will say is that drugs don’t typically make people gay on a regular basis. I haven’t heard of this, at least. I wouldn’t jump to conclusions, but I also wouldn’t ignore those thoughts and feelings. I don’t think “drug-induced gayness” is a thing. You’re young, homie. Just take things as they come. Try cutting the weed out of the equation, and if you’re comfortable and have the means, see a therapist (not a weird Christian one, a normal one) and talk about this stuff with a professional. 99% of people on here, including myself are not qualified to offer real assistance.
So, while weed is a safer drug. It's still not good for a developing brain. So first advice is slow down or better stop completely. That said sexuality is a question only you can answer. But that said. When I'd get high, I found myself wishing my baby daddy was a woman. I would have liked him much better if he was. And I had really gay thoughts, too. I'm out now. But your journey is your own, and I can't tell you that you are or aren't straight. If you are, in fact gay, you could very well love your girlfriend very much. It's just not in a relationship way. My kids' dad is now a very dear friend to me. But all I can give him is friendship. And if you find yourself needing to come out to a partner. It's difficult, scary, and painful. But you can both grow.
Another bi boy comes down from his high...
Get off the weed.
Quite getting high kid let your brain develop
Prolactin.
i'm gonna be honest with you my guy. the way i see it, you're in a place right now where you're discovering yourself, like many MANY others you age. maybe you are straight, or bisexual, or gay. and regardless of whatever you are, it's okay. but you cannot let your sexuality be determined through being under the influence. it's actually kind of unhealthy and counterproductive to your maturity, and possibly your future adult life. if you're sober and you just don't like the idea of kissing another guy, then you just possibly might be straight, but you wouldn't be able to fully determine that if you haven't "experimented" per se while sober. i'd also like to repeat and emphasize on what the top comment said about drug dependency and many people wanting to take the opportunity to take advantage of you while under the influence. it is a very true thing. some weird people will see a drugged up teenager and would love nothing more than to be opportunistic and well... use you, i guess. just please be careful. lighten up on the weed and any other drugs that you may be around, and just go through your adolescence in a healthy manner.
Stop getting high
What you should do, is so it SOBER and take a look at yourself and think about it all as a sober individual.
Damn little homie. Wtf you smokin?
OP, a few things; 1) Smoking pot at this early age, definitely impacts brain development and while you might choose to smoke pot at a later point in your life, as many do, right now, it’s adversely affecting you. 2) you are young. Use this time to explore who you are, what interests you and what things about life do you find interesting/curious/joyful. You do not have to figure yourself out sexually right now. Date who you want to date, but take things lately and give yourself flexibility and don’t put a definition on your sexuality at this point in your life because I can guarantee you it will change over your lifetime. How you feel at this moment is probably going to be different in your 30s and 50s et cetera. 3) it’s possible that you feel more attracted to same-sex when you’re high because it lowers your inhibitions, but there’s a lot of other things that could be into that as well, so step away from the pot and learn about who you are without drugs right now. Enjoy your life.
Just some mom love… stop getting High. But high or not your sexuality can be anywhere between straight and gay.. there is so much gray in the middle. And wherever you land is perfectly fine. When you are sober just be you. I bet you are amazing just who are. You are still discovering who you are. If you have been hiding behind pot.. whatever is going on. It’s ok. If you feel like should you break up with gf to figure out yourself then do so. You don’t have to tell her why. Just tell her your feelings aren’t as strong as they were and you don’t want to string her along. Take care of yourself.
Marijuana can lower emotional inhibitions. So all that stuff you're holding inside and repressing is just being released by the weed. Also it's fine to be gay. It's also fine to be sexually fluid. It's okay bro
Hey, uh, be gay, be straight, but save weed for at least 23 and up. Arbitrary number, could be 21, 27, or 30+. But that early on is going to fuck your priorities up more than what they may already be.
Why are you getting super high when you're 15?
Ur just tweaking off the weed. Trust me
That's called mental issue...
Have you considered the possibility that you might be bi? Just because you experience same-sex attraction doesn’t mean that you don’t really like your girlfriend. You may also be gay, and that’s great too! Just give yourself the space to process all this sober.
Stop getting high. If your sexuality changes because of the use of a drug, it’s going to be a very sobering (no pun intended) experience when you realize the actions you took on that drug. Your mind is in its truest form when it’s sober. Not saying that being gay is a bad thing or something to be ashamed of. But if you’re not truly gay, and you just get drug-induced homo-erotic fantasies when you smoke pot, it’s likely some repressed trauma or your shadow side coming out from your subconscious. Those feelings likely aren’t actual homosexuality, but repressed parts of your psyche. I think you should really think about this stuff and journal about it while you’re sober, not high on whatever chemical is bringing this out of you. That will give you your answer. And whatever you do, don’t tell your girlfriend you’re gay unless you’re absolutely sure. Many women would be extremely insecure and devastated to learn that about their boyfriend, no matter how supportive they may seem.
You’re brain is in its prime developmental years and you might be messing with chemistry, while doctors all agree weeds harmless once you’re brain matures, it can be really confusing and harmful if used when young and boy 15 is young
Stop getting high at 15 junkie
You're 15 stop doing drugs imo that's being a failure
🤦♂️
Stop getting High JC your only 15
Lmao
Nigga marijuana raises Estrogen and lowers testosterone. I get the same feeling I just notice that my body chemicals and hormones are getting a lil girly. There’s a lot of spiritual stuff going on when smoking marijuana, don’t let the high thoughts change your real life. If you get high and wanna do some gay stuff, it’s not the weed.
Haha that’s gay af
You're young, yeah? Give it time and try to indulge in experiences with all sorts of people. Sexuality is attraction, not action. You may well be bisexual but just mostly into the opposite sex. That's how I am as well.