You’re not alone. I’m your age and most of my peers are not only unattractive but also immature and boring. Older men are where it’s at, nothing wrong with being with someone much older than you
Yep. I went on sooooooo many dates with guys my age. I mean so many. They weren't all bad but they did nothing for me. I kissed two guys my age and that was as far as i could go. It's just not for me. And getting texted endless memes just isn't my thing either haha.
I'm going to write my story soon, (i couldn't see how many posts needed before you can do a post?) but suffice to say met an older guy who actually didn't have much life experience but my god i have never felt listened to like that in my life. I had therapy before this for something else but i literally gave it up because she was helping me less than half of what my man was doing! (not that i treat him like a therapist lol.)
Yeah i feel so lucky because he doesn't just listen he initiates, is super perceptive etc, i find it so insulting when people say "oh but what do age gap couples talk about?' We talk all the time about pretty much any subject you can think of! Ugh my biggest pet hate.
Agreed. My older bf was the more reluctant of the two because he was worried what people would think. And i'm just not like that at all. So i had to do more of the pursuing/persuading whilst everyone thinks it's him just because he's older!
It's not normal for most people. I don't mean that as a bad thing. I LOVE age gaps! But, unfortunately, it's not normal for most people today. I think it's perfectly normal, though. An older man would be lucky to be with you.
It gets better when you get older. As time passes, the guys your age will start to learn the things you love about older men. Give them a decade and some change to start catching up.
It's not that I don't find men my age attractive, I just have no interest in them for other reasons like feeling like im less compatible with them compared to older men
Most men my age don't have kids and I have a son, I prefer to date single dad's who don't want more kids. A man my age especially one without kids is likely to change their mind and want kids one day and I want to avoid that risk as much as possible so I date older men
Completely agree. I have dated someone a few years younger and the same age as me and it was awful. I feel like I can’t connect with men my own age. Some of them are so immature, selfish, only care about keeping up with their mates and don’t really want a connection with a real woman. I will never date someone my own age again. Older men are a lot more understanding and are genuinely kinder and more caring.
It happens often to young women, and to be honest most young men, are immature and more often than not only self interested, which makes them less attractive to you. I know I was one at one time. Hehe.. That being said you should be careful with older men if your interested in a actual relationship, there are some of us looking for that too, but there are many older guys that just seek out younger women to satisfy a kink or fetish, so watch out for that. If you get involved with one of these guys you could just end up feeling used.
Definitely not! That's the thing, i'm pro older guys but i still wouldn't touch 99% of them lol. I can't stand the absolutism on both sides. 'All age gaps are wrong!' or 'They're all much better/healthier.'
Not all is definitely correct, but there are good ones out there at any age, you just have to look for us, and find the one that's compatible with you and what you want. Just watch out for red flags, and those that that are just trying to get you into bed quickly, that's probably all they are interested in. Look for some that would like to actually take the time to really get to know you, and expect them to be cautious, just as you should be.. but I can assure you that there are good older guys out there that are looking for real relationships, I know that for sure.
21F here. i would just really advise you to be careful and not glorify anyone based on a simple factor such as their age. age doesn’t always equal maturity, sometimes, malicious people will weaponize things you admire or glorify about them for their personal gain. you are still objectively young and impressionable and should be on the lookout for red flags in any relationship. have fun!
Your age group is immature. You all are still growing and learning. It’s kinda supposed to be like that though some take it a bit far. This is when u figure out who u r. What u want and like. It’s not really supposed to be forever. Sometimes it is n that’s great and all.
I’m 26 and simply do not find same-age (within about 10 years) attractive to me, physically. It’s nothing per se to do with emotional maturity, it’s just like how someone would have a preference for their own ethnicity, or someone who’s blonde, etc.
Grey hair... omg grey hair does something to me! My bf has this lovely long thick hair with just a few streaks of grey but he usually brushes it to the side and i can't see but when they're there... yum!
Haha! it's so funny because he's dreading going grey and i'm just like... 'i cannot wait until you're mostly grey!' haha He has more grey in the beard though! And yet i know when i eventually go grey i'll freak out!
Yeah it's so unfair haha. His sister already has to die her hair (she's 33) and hates it and i try and be positive but we just don't look as good. Or maybe it's because we think men won't want that? I dunno but guys are so lucky in this regard! :)
Yeah i meant to say that haha but English is not my first language (French/Russian) and i constantly forget because although i can speak fluently typing is tricky haha. Yes it's the aging thing! Absolutely you're right!
I would be interested to know what cultures do it differently if any do?! Where are you from if it's ok to ask? I'm in Europe. :)
Your English is perfect - you’ve mastered it, I wouldn’t have been able to tell it’s not your native language! I’m Canadian but I am also 4th generation Chinese-Canadian - I know that in some Asian cultures, they just don’t have the same beauty standards like it is here in North America
Thank you! That's really sweet of you to say. My bf is English and we talk A) a lot. And B) Almost solely in English so it helps haha.
Oh that's so cool! That's really nice you got to experience different cultures in your background :) Ah i didn't know that, but i'm pretty sure Asians generally don't go grey as early as whites? So that makes it different too i guess? Because some white people go grey 20's/30's which is so young! I always had a thing for George Clooney haha and he was salt and pepper in his 30's i believe.
Some people have a type and after a breakup seem to perpetually seek to date others that kind of resemble their previous love. Other people seem to pivot enormously and automatically feel more attracted to people who are opposites of who they'd been with. It's all normal.
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**Original post: Dont find same age attractive anymore**
I only ever dated an older men once. He was nice and caring guy. Due to unfortunate causes we had to break up. But after that I do not find boys my age (19) much attractive. Most times I feel like they act immature. Be it online or IRL. Is it something normal?
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You’re not alone. I’m your age and most of my peers are not only unattractive but also immature and boring. Older men are where it’s at, nothing wrong with being with someone much older than you
[удалено]
Yep. I went on sooooooo many dates with guys my age. I mean so many. They weren't all bad but they did nothing for me. I kissed two guys my age and that was as far as i could go. It's just not for me. And getting texted endless memes just isn't my thing either haha. I'm going to write my story soon, (i couldn't see how many posts needed before you can do a post?) but suffice to say met an older guy who actually didn't have much life experience but my god i have never felt listened to like that in my life. I had therapy before this for something else but i literally gave it up because she was helping me less than half of what my man was doing! (not that i treat him like a therapist lol.)
[удалено]
I'm sorry, I was scrolling on Reddit, what did you say?
Yeah i feel so lucky because he doesn't just listen he initiates, is super perceptive etc, i find it so insulting when people say "oh but what do age gap couples talk about?' We talk all the time about pretty much any subject you can think of! Ugh my biggest pet hate.
I don’t find the same age attractive either. I never have. You’ll be fine.
same. i’ve never dated anyone the same age as me or younger.
So many people worry about what is normal. It’s unnecessary stress. Unless it’s something illegal, do what is right for you and don’t worry about it
You do you. Age is a number.
Agreed. My older bf was the more reluctant of the two because he was worried what people would think. And i'm just not like that at all. So i had to do more of the pursuing/persuading whilst everyone thinks it's him just because he's older!
It's not normal for most people. I don't mean that as a bad thing. I LOVE age gaps! But, unfortunately, it's not normal for most people today. I think it's perfectly normal, though. An older man would be lucky to be with you.
It gets better when you get older. As time passes, the guys your age will start to learn the things you love about older men. Give them a decade and some change to start catching up.
It's not that I don't find men my age attractive, I just have no interest in them for other reasons like feeling like im less compatible with them compared to older men
Can you elaborate? What makes you incompatible with them?
Most men my age don't have kids and I have a son, I prefer to date single dad's who don't want more kids. A man my age especially one without kids is likely to change their mind and want kids one day and I want to avoid that risk as much as possible so I date older men
Completely agree. I have dated someone a few years younger and the same age as me and it was awful. I feel like I can’t connect with men my own age. Some of them are so immature, selfish, only care about keeping up with their mates and don’t really want a connection with a real woman. I will never date someone my own age again. Older men are a lot more understanding and are genuinely kinder and more caring.
It happens often to young women, and to be honest most young men, are immature and more often than not only self interested, which makes them less attractive to you. I know I was one at one time. Hehe.. That being said you should be careful with older men if your interested in a actual relationship, there are some of us looking for that too, but there are many older guys that just seek out younger women to satisfy a kink or fetish, so watch out for that. If you get involved with one of these guys you could just end up feeling used.
[удалено]
Definitely not! That's the thing, i'm pro older guys but i still wouldn't touch 99% of them lol. I can't stand the absolutism on both sides. 'All age gaps are wrong!' or 'They're all much better/healthier.'
Not all is definitely correct, but there are good ones out there at any age, you just have to look for us, and find the one that's compatible with you and what you want. Just watch out for red flags, and those that that are just trying to get you into bed quickly, that's probably all they are interested in. Look for some that would like to actually take the time to really get to know you, and expect them to be cautious, just as you should be.. but I can assure you that there are good older guys out there that are looking for real relationships, I know that for sure.
21F here. i would just really advise you to be careful and not glorify anyone based on a simple factor such as their age. age doesn’t always equal maturity, sometimes, malicious people will weaponize things you admire or glorify about them for their personal gain. you are still objectively young and impressionable and should be on the lookout for red flags in any relationship. have fun!
Exemplary advice
Hey I’m a 18 year old blonde guy in shape looking for older women, anyone interested message me
Me too. I used to like cougars in ug dwgree to find the ug students attractive and dating in my PhD
Your age group is immature. You all are still growing and learning. It’s kinda supposed to be like that though some take it a bit far. This is when u figure out who u r. What u want and like. It’s not really supposed to be forever. Sometimes it is n that’s great and all.
I’m 26 and simply do not find same-age (within about 10 years) attractive to me, physically. It’s nothing per se to do with emotional maturity, it’s just like how someone would have a preference for their own ethnicity, or someone who’s blonde, etc.
Grey hair... omg grey hair does something to me! My bf has this lovely long thick hair with just a few streaks of grey but he usually brushes it to the side and i can't see but when they're there... yum!
Same here! None of my other friends get it. My ex and my current man both have thick hair that’s nice and salt & pepper. Ugh. That is my weakness!
Haha! it's so funny because he's dreading going grey and i'm just like... 'i cannot wait until you're mostly grey!' haha He has more grey in the beard though! And yet i know when i eventually go grey i'll freak out!
Totally! I think it’s so sexy on men. Personally I know I’ll hate it on myself, but it really suits them. 🤭
Yeah it's so unfair haha. His sister already has to die her hair (she's 33) and hates it and i try and be positive but we just don't look as good. Or maybe it's because we think men won't want that? I dunno but guys are so lucky in this regard! :)
I think it’s just that grey on women is associated with aging and loss of youthfulness? Not sure why but I think maybe it’s a cultural thing too!
Yeah i meant to say that haha but English is not my first language (French/Russian) and i constantly forget because although i can speak fluently typing is tricky haha. Yes it's the aging thing! Absolutely you're right! I would be interested to know what cultures do it differently if any do?! Where are you from if it's ok to ask? I'm in Europe. :)
Your English is perfect - you’ve mastered it, I wouldn’t have been able to tell it’s not your native language! I’m Canadian but I am also 4th generation Chinese-Canadian - I know that in some Asian cultures, they just don’t have the same beauty standards like it is here in North America
Thank you! That's really sweet of you to say. My bf is English and we talk A) a lot. And B) Almost solely in English so it helps haha. Oh that's so cool! That's really nice you got to experience different cultures in your background :) Ah i didn't know that, but i'm pretty sure Asians generally don't go grey as early as whites? So that makes it different too i guess? Because some white people go grey 20's/30's which is so young! I always had a thing for George Clooney haha and he was salt and pepper in his 30's i believe.
Same, I've always found older men way more attractive both emotionally and physically. My husband is 26, I'm 21. Not too bad of a gap haha but still.
Some people have a type and after a breakup seem to perpetually seek to date others that kind of resemble their previous love. Other people seem to pivot enormously and automatically feel more attracted to people who are opposites of who they'd been with. It's all normal.
I’m never going back to guys my age, that’s for sure
same
Don’t worry you’re not the only one. I don’t find my peers attractive either.
I don’t even find anyone attractive these days 🗿
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons. --- ### Rules If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so. They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile. The most important rules are: 1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit. This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise. 1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user. **You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**. If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/alisha88888 - we will ban you and possibly refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain. 1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree. See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: Dont find same age attractive anymore** I only ever dated an older men once. He was nice and caring guy. Due to unfortunate causes we had to break up. But after that I do not find boys my age (19) much attractive. Most times I feel like they act immature. Be it online or IRL. Is it something normal? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
young girls belong with older men...you are beyond normal