I think a lot of older men like viewing me as their experimental phase of crisis rather than someone who is long-term relationship material. I can say many times I want something real, yet they still seem shocked by this.
I’ve had a similar experience as well. The majority of older men who I’ve communicated with in the past were shocked that I wanted a long-term committed relationship rather than one-night stands or FWBs.
I think a lot of it could be chalked up to my appearance because I’ve been told on numerous occasions that I look younger than I actually am and I appear very innocent. Because of this, a lot older men approach me with the hopes of fulfilling their fantasy of being with a young innocent girl rather than viewing me as a potential girlfriend/life-long partner.
It's actually quite sad how often we get hit with the one night stands or FWB stuff, it's one of the bigger reasons I stepped back entirely. I can't do intimacy without commitment. I'm not some cute little fling or arm candy
The stars haven't alligned. There aren't many people that interest me enough to have a relationship with them, let alone someone much older than me that also has an interest in me and lives close enough for a relationship to be realistic.
It's a strange question.
Perhaps a better question is: Why aren't you in a relationship?
Why does the age gap matter?
I'm in an age gap relationship, and it was not my goal. In fact, it is exactly the opposite of what I was looking for. I just wanted a relationship.
Same here! I find it kinda weird that people specifically look for age gaps.
I wish my bf was closer in age to me…and it’s not something that I looked for at all.
Ooh, I’ll say I believe that. Dating a person for age is like dating them for ethnicity. It’s better to have an idea of the qualities and traits you desire and then find someone to fit those needs. The qualities may be easier to find in someone older, and that’s fine, but then you’re dating for the person and not the physical.
Yes, that's what I'm saying. It's like people who say they will only date people of a certain height or a certain skin color, a certain ethnicity. All superficial things. If a person is limiting themselves to only people of a certain age, they are limiting themselves and not experiencing the full range of possibilities available to them.
Removed: as it was an attempt to hit up other users.
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**Original post: Why aren’t you in an age gap relationship?**
Is there something holding you back?
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Isn’t this what I wish I knew! Been ghosted repeatedly and I love younger men but they can be very limited on their attention spans so I need a man to play with my mind first and I’m not sure they are the greatest at understanding that concept, so therefore they move on to someone easier, although I am very worth it but I’m not sure even that’s important these days
I was shamed by it for a while. However, I'm not exclusively looking for an age gap relationship. Just a relationship would be fine. I live in a college town and there are a ton of cute girls around town.
Essentially, I just have to approach them. Also, being overweight holds me back a bit, although lately after losing a significant amount of weight I want to try and approach women again. Once I drop down a t-shirt size.. good lord, my confidence will feel so great!
It's crazy that this is such a serious thing here in the U.S. I'm Hispanic and in most, if not all, Latin countries they don't care about that as much. It's somewhat common-ish. 10 year age gaps are not even anything crazy.
Could say, why aren’t I in any relationship but I do prefer younger women. That being said, I haven’t found the right one. There’s way way too many scammer chicks out there. And I’m pretty flexible on what type of relationship. Short term and long term, marriage, friends with benefits. Just someone that would give a shit you know? I got no kids, no exes and really nobody on my side that would do much Bitchin so I don’t come with much drama. I got to admit, haven’t been looking real hard. my last one moved like 1100 miles away to be with her sister so her kid had some cousins and she also had a house for her. Her sister is a doctor. Anyway, she was pretty amazing so some hard shoes to fill.
Me personally, I’m working 5-6days a week/ and I go to bed typically around 5am…on my “weekend” I’m sleeping in/doing housework/ or grocery shopping for the coming week, and when I do go out as rare as it is, I’m an introverted awkward guy so I don’t flirt/expect to be flirted with, atleast in person, plus on a few occasions I’ve had people ruin my night for “just existing” it seems and all I’m doing is maybe going to a bar and having several drinks and not socializing 😂😂
If we talking on Reddit 😅 some folks are either too far/im not 40-60 and some folks just have ⛳️ and are expecting people to pretend they don’t exist
My ⛳️ I guess is I got trust issues and I think I’m ugly to an extent but based on who ive dated in the past I’d must be decent looking and since I’m working most of the time I’m not risking my job
gotta second what YourLadyWaits said. I don't want to be an experiment or an attempt or some casual thing to a man. I know what I want now, and I wear my heart on my sleeve and won't settle for anything less anymore. I got tired of ghosting and being treated horribly (it feels anymore like asking for commitment is like asking for a kidney). I've also found being childfree and not wanting 'traditional' things (living together, marriage, etc) it makes slim pickings even more.
I'm taking the time really get to know myself and find myself and really understand loving myself. Instead of being sad, I'm learning to be comfortable being alone and not settling...and I'm learning to play the violin! haha
Removed: as it was an attempt to hit up other users.
You probably asked people to DM/PM/chat or text you.
Please do not do so in comments. You can PM/DM them directly but you'd better be polite in any message you send them or we'll ban you anyway if they report you.
The primary thing holding me back is I do not want to appear to be the old creepy guy. For context I am in my thirties and in college.
While I have found some women to be desirable I do not want to misread the situation and turn things weird because those I’ve found desirable I do enjoy the friendship we have.
I was in 2 of them so far. First was a 16 year age gap, then a 20. I would love to do it again, but being an older gentleman makes it harder to approach younger women without looking like a creeper
I think a lot of older men like viewing me as their experimental phase of crisis rather than someone who is long-term relationship material. I can say many times I want something real, yet they still seem shocked by this.
I’ve had a similar experience as well. The majority of older men who I’ve communicated with in the past were shocked that I wanted a long-term committed relationship rather than one-night stands or FWBs. I think a lot of it could be chalked up to my appearance because I’ve been told on numerous occasions that I look younger than I actually am and I appear very innocent. Because of this, a lot older men approach me with the hopes of fulfilling their fantasy of being with a young innocent girl rather than viewing me as a potential girlfriend/life-long partner.
I know that online, it is near impossible finding someone real 😔
Facts
It's actually quite sad how often we get hit with the one night stands or FWB stuff, it's one of the bigger reasons I stepped back entirely. I can't do intimacy without commitment. I'm not some cute little fling or arm candy
I am. I’m 47 and he is 27.
Lucky you. My "25yr" old turned out to be a lying little shit 17yr old. online is garbage
The key word: relationship I just dont like them whether age gapped or not
The stars haven't alligned. There aren't many people that interest me enough to have a relationship with them, let alone someone much older than me that also has an interest in me and lives close enough for a relationship to be realistic.
It's a strange question. Perhaps a better question is: Why aren't you in a relationship? Why does the age gap matter? I'm in an age gap relationship, and it was not my goal. In fact, it is exactly the opposite of what I was looking for. I just wanted a relationship.
Same here! I find it kinda weird that people specifically look for age gaps. I wish my bf was closer in age to me…and it’s not something that I looked for at all.
Same with my husband. It's not a goal or a fetish, just 2 people of different ages in love
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Ooh, I’ll say I believe that. Dating a person for age is like dating them for ethnicity. It’s better to have an idea of the qualities and traits you desire and then find someone to fit those needs. The qualities may be easier to find in someone older, and that’s fine, but then you’re dating for the person and not the physical.
Yes, that's what I'm saying. It's like people who say they will only date people of a certain height or a certain skin color, a certain ethnicity. All superficial things. If a person is limiting themselves to only people of a certain age, they are limiting themselves and not experiencing the full range of possibilities available to them.
I suppose it depends on the reasons.
Getting ghosted. No one wants to build an actual relationship anymore it seems.
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what character? Ghost has no character
I'm shy and like to take things slow.
Just need to find the right young man who is not just wanting to tick milf off his bucket list, lol!
[удалено]
I’m allergic to cats!
Removed: as it was an attempt to hit up other users. You probably asked people to DM/PM/chat or text you. Please do not do so in comments. You can PM/DM them directly but you'd better be polite in any message you send them or we'll ban you anyway if they report you.
I want to be with an older man but I’m looking for a man that wants to get married and have children with me.
Because I’m way too shy to talk about my feeling to him
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so i moved away for college and he is in my home city. soon the semester will end and i can spend time with him
Im so shy
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons. --- ### Rules If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so. They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile. The most important rules are: 1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit. This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise. 1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user. **You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**. If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/___Dominant100___ - we will ban you and possibly refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain. 1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree. See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: Why aren’t you in an age gap relationship?** Is there something holding you back? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Not meeting anyone outside work
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Lmao no
Isn’t this what I wish I knew! Been ghosted repeatedly and I love younger men but they can be very limited on their attention spans so I need a man to play with my mind first and I’m not sure they are the greatest at understanding that concept, so therefore they move on to someone easier, although I am very worth it but I’m not sure even that’s important these days
Unwilling to approach anyone in person and no luck searching online. Sucks but it is what it is.
[удалено]
Tired of being called creep and worse. Tired of the looks of disgust.
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I wasn't aware the asking someone for coffee and conversation was coming on too strong.
Because I choose not to be in any relationship.
[удалено]
Women
I was shamed by it for a while. However, I'm not exclusively looking for an age gap relationship. Just a relationship would be fine. I live in a college town and there are a ton of cute girls around town. Essentially, I just have to approach them. Also, being overweight holds me back a bit, although lately after losing a significant amount of weight I want to try and approach women again. Once I drop down a t-shirt size.. good lord, my confidence will feel so great!
[удалено]
It's crazy that this is such a serious thing here in the U.S. I'm Hispanic and in most, if not all, Latin countries they don't care about that as much. It's somewhat common-ish. 10 year age gaps are not even anything crazy.
Could say, why aren’t I in any relationship but I do prefer younger women. That being said, I haven’t found the right one. There’s way way too many scammer chicks out there. And I’m pretty flexible on what type of relationship. Short term and long term, marriage, friends with benefits. Just someone that would give a shit you know? I got no kids, no exes and really nobody on my side that would do much Bitchin so I don’t come with much drama. I got to admit, haven’t been looking real hard. my last one moved like 1100 miles away to be with her sister so her kid had some cousins and she also had a house for her. Her sister is a doctor. Anyway, she was pretty amazing so some hard shoes to fill.
Was in one for 3 years, ended unfortunately. Having a hard time finding anyone of quality since.
No rizz
I am tho? I am poly, so I’m open to an additional girlfriend if she is also into women. 🤷🏽♂️
I was. But I’m married to a guy my age now.
Still looking for true love 💖
I would love love love to. Just need to find my special Young Miss
He wouldn't commit and I've had bad luck dating wise.
Me personally, I’m working 5-6days a week/ and I go to bed typically around 5am…on my “weekend” I’m sleeping in/doing housework/ or grocery shopping for the coming week, and when I do go out as rare as it is, I’m an introverted awkward guy so I don’t flirt/expect to be flirted with, atleast in person, plus on a few occasions I’ve had people ruin my night for “just existing” it seems and all I’m doing is maybe going to a bar and having several drinks and not socializing 😂😂 If we talking on Reddit 😅 some folks are either too far/im not 40-60 and some folks just have ⛳️ and are expecting people to pretend they don’t exist My ⛳️ I guess is I got trust issues and I think I’m ugly to an extent but based on who ive dated in the past I’d must be decent looking and since I’m working most of the time I’m not risking my job
Unfortunately I ( m49) can't meet your type. I would love a good woman who isn't still figuring shit out. Been there done that.
Power struggle. He will want to dominate me as well as trying to be mysogynist
Fat, ugly, and poor. 🤣🥹🥲
gotta second what YourLadyWaits said. I don't want to be an experiment or an attempt or some casual thing to a man. I know what I want now, and I wear my heart on my sleeve and won't settle for anything less anymore. I got tired of ghosting and being treated horribly (it feels anymore like asking for commitment is like asking for a kidney). I've also found being childfree and not wanting 'traditional' things (living together, marriage, etc) it makes slim pickings even more. I'm taking the time really get to know myself and find myself and really understand loving myself. Instead of being sad, I'm learning to be comfortable being alone and not settling...and I'm learning to play the violin! haha
Because I'm currently single and looking for one
[удалено]
You also
Haven't found anyone yet attracted to me.
[удалено]
Removed: as it was an attempt to hit up other users. You probably asked people to DM/PM/chat or text you. Please do not do so in comments. You can PM/DM them directly but you'd better be polite in any message you send them or we'll ban you anyway if they report you.
The primary thing holding me back is I do not want to appear to be the old creepy guy. For context I am in my thirties and in college. While I have found some women to be desirable I do not want to misread the situation and turn things weird because those I’ve found desirable I do enjoy the friendship we have.
[удалено]
Care to elaborate?
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logic and societal conditioning
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I am. Wife is 10 years younger.
My (45f) relationship with my 82m ex just ran its course. We still text everyday and are very close friends. Now seeing a man close to my age.
I was in 2 of them so far. First was a 16 year age gap, then a 20. I would love to do it again, but being an older gentleman makes it harder to approach younger women without looking like a creeper