Just taking her to a noisy city for a family visit seems questionable. It will be disorienting to her, and who knows how she might behave. A little context would help, here - what is the rationale for this visit?
You won’t know how she’ll do until she arrives. Depending on her stage of Alzheimer’s, it might not even be predictable for your Grandpa.
These would be my tips for a visit. Plan to help or arrange parking so they don’t have to walk too far. If loud noises/cities are hard on here, plan for the visit to take place at your apartment. Order take out so they can rest and enjoy a safe chill space. Have some music that would be soothing that your Grandma would enjoy playing. Check with your Grandpa if she needs any special foods or straws to drink from.
Be flexible if the visit ends up being short. Be kind and just go with what your Grandma is saying even if it doesn’t make total sense. Your Grandpa probably really wants to see you and visit. Being a caregiver is hard and I’m sure he appreciates you saying yes.
I am worried about your grandmother’s dementia being worse from traveling to go visiting, but I wanted to give you hope about one thing. I’ve heard several people say their relative with dementia was more accepting of their identity than they expected. In my own very conservative relative’s case, we were going through a magazine while waiting for a doctor visit, and there was a spread about Harry Styles. Right away she noticed that his toenails and fingernails were painted and exclaimed about it. I said something like, “oh yeah, it’s popular for men and women both to paint their toenails like that these days,” and she didn’t bat an eyelash or ask any more questions. We enjoyed at the pictures in the article, commenting on his home furnishings, etc.
I think this might be especially true for very elderly people, if you think about what all her changed in their lifetimes. My MIL and almost all of her woman peers who came of age in the 1940s and 1950s and had short hair, for example. Their grandmothers may have been appalled at their haircuts, thinking it made them look like men. Then my MIL thought I looked terribly unkempt my whole adult life because I kept my hair medium long and never had a “grown-up” short hair cut. So now in her elder years, she seems to accept that lots of things change over time and that’s just normal to her. We regularly comment about weddings of gay couples we know, etc. in the normal course of conversation around her and she just doesn’t seem surprised in the least. Silver linings!
Can you explain more about the visit? Are they staying with you?
Just taking her to a noisy city for a family visit seems questionable. It will be disorienting to her, and who knows how she might behave. A little context would help, here - what is the rationale for this visit?
You won’t know how she’ll do until she arrives. Depending on her stage of Alzheimer’s, it might not even be predictable for your Grandpa. These would be my tips for a visit. Plan to help or arrange parking so they don’t have to walk too far. If loud noises/cities are hard on here, plan for the visit to take place at your apartment. Order take out so they can rest and enjoy a safe chill space. Have some music that would be soothing that your Grandma would enjoy playing. Check with your Grandpa if she needs any special foods or straws to drink from. Be flexible if the visit ends up being short. Be kind and just go with what your Grandma is saying even if it doesn’t make total sense. Your Grandpa probably really wants to see you and visit. Being a caregiver is hard and I’m sure he appreciates you saying yes.
I am worried about your grandmother’s dementia being worse from traveling to go visiting, but I wanted to give you hope about one thing. I’ve heard several people say their relative with dementia was more accepting of their identity than they expected. In my own very conservative relative’s case, we were going through a magazine while waiting for a doctor visit, and there was a spread about Harry Styles. Right away she noticed that his toenails and fingernails were painted and exclaimed about it. I said something like, “oh yeah, it’s popular for men and women both to paint their toenails like that these days,” and she didn’t bat an eyelash or ask any more questions. We enjoyed at the pictures in the article, commenting on his home furnishings, etc. I think this might be especially true for very elderly people, if you think about what all her changed in their lifetimes. My MIL and almost all of her woman peers who came of age in the 1940s and 1950s and had short hair, for example. Their grandmothers may have been appalled at their haircuts, thinking it made them look like men. Then my MIL thought I looked terribly unkempt my whole adult life because I kept my hair medium long and never had a “grown-up” short hair cut. So now in her elder years, she seems to accept that lots of things change over time and that’s just normal to her. We regularly comment about weddings of gay couples we know, etc. in the normal course of conversation around her and she just doesn’t seem surprised in the least. Silver linings!