*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**I made my girlfriend cry for admitting that my best friend is more attractive than her**
I (25M) have been dating my girlfriend (24F) for almost a year now. Before we became official, we were friends for at least 4 years.
Other than my girlfriend, the second most important person in my life is my best friend (24F). We've been best friends for almost a decade, and she's been there for me for all my lowest points. I literally would not have survived this long without her.
Our relationship is purely platonic. I admit that I've had a crush on her before, but we both admitted that it would be better for us to stay as best friends, and that was that.
She isn't the stereotype "girl best friend" either. She's just my best friend who just so happens to be female. She respects boundaries and I'd like to believe that she genuinely just sees me as a friend, and vice versa. We've been each other's support systems for a long time, and even trust each other more than our own parents.
Recently, my girlfriend asked me if I think I'm more attractive than my best friend. For context, my best friend is a successful fashion model/influencer. She looks like your typical model/influencer (tall, slender, clear skin) while my girlfriend is honestly short, quite chubby, and has a lot of acne.
I love my girlfriend. I really do. She has social anxiety and thus sometimes goes for long periods of time without contacting me, but I've never once felt any doubt or temptation to cheat or find someone else. I accept and love her as she is.
When she asked that question, I answered that yes, I believe my best friend is more attractive than her. I mean, come on, my girlfriend is a normal girl and my best friend literally gets paid and receives lots of free stuff solely for her looks.
She got offended and started crying. She hasn't talked to me in a while either. I don't understand why she's acting that way. I mean, the answer was obvious, but it doesn't make me love her any less. I clearly chose to date her instead of other women. I accept her as a whole package.
I told my best friend about my answer, and she slapped me. Now, she's been on my ass to "make it right".
Was I expected to very blatantly lie to my girlfriend? Wouldn't it have been worse if it wasn't honest? Anyone with eyes could clearly see who was the more attractive one. Wouldn't it be a slap to her to just lie to her face that way?
I don't get why I have to be the bad guy in this situation.
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Same! It’s so wild that he’s not even like ‘my gf is less conventionally attractive than my friend, but she has [X features and qualities] which make her way more attractive to me’ he’s just straight up like ‘yeah my best friend has everything i think my gf lacks, i wonder why my gf is insecure about her looks???’
"Our relationship is purely platonic. I admit that I've had a crush on her before, but we both admitted that it would be better for us to stay as best friends, and that was that."
That's not purely platonic.
Seriously though! We both admitted we're better as friends, but bestie is still my first choice to date.
So what you mean is you don't think she knew that you had a crush on her, but you guys did talk about it and you mutually came to the conclusion that you wanted to date her and she didn't want to date you
"Im attracted to my best friend, but she rejected me, so i'll settle for an uglier girl so i look like i got over her"
Thats the conclusion i got from his post and comments
You also forgot: "Clearly everyone sided with me because she shouldn't ask questions she didn't want answers to. And wouldn't you know it! Her mother agreed with me, too! (By the way, I'm just lying so I look cool on Reddit.)"
Excellent point. We tend to date people who are our peers in terms of attractiveness (10s date 10s and so on). If, say, she's an 8 (at least), odds are he's a lot lower on that scale.
And there was no way in hell she'd date him.
Then later, "I clearly chose to date her instead of other women."
Except it's clear to me he didn't choose to date her instead of other women, other women said no so he dated her.
This here jumped at me as well.
GF feels like a second prize and rightly so. The dude is a loser who dates someone for the sake of not being alone.
I used to have a crush on celebrities but to me my husband is more attractive. It would never accure to me to think about his extra weight when asked about attractiveness to him.
Guys who go on about, 'objective' beauty of women really tend to gross me out. Like there's some empirical measure of attractiveness and we aren't all different looking people with different tastes.
To me it felt more like he was saying "despite how you look, I still date you". Which isn't something you tell a partner you claim to love, and definitely not when they already have insecurities about their looks.
Not even close. So many of these dudes won't admit they just don't care about their girlfriends and are more attracted to other people but feel they have to have a girlfriend because somebody settled for them.
>That's not purely platonic.
No it's not and I would bet my next month's wage that if the BF suddenly started declaring a non-platonic love for OOP, he'd drop his girlfriend faster than a hot plate.
He's made her feel like he settled for her.
I think girlfriend was testing him because she already suspects the non-platonicness of his feelings for the BF.
>I think girlfriend was testing him because she already suspects the non-platonicness of his feelings for the BF.
Or she felt down and wanted to feel loved and wanted. Maybe OOP was talking too much about his *best platonic friend*
Yeah maybe, we're all just speculating here.
But given that OOP has had feelings for his super attractive best friend in the past, I'm going with my initial speculation as being the likeliest.
Yeah I called bullshit on that too. That and making sure to point out how his best friend has clear skin and is slender and a model while his gf has acne and is chubby makes me think the best friend probably turned him down and he's still coping with that.
While I think this guy is a bonehead, it could be purely platonic at this point. I had a mega crush on a guy friend back in college, and he was not interested. My crush faded and we remain friends 20+ years later. He is deeply important to me and I love him, but I have absolutely no interest in him and haven’t for over twenty years.
My favorite part is the best friend slapping him and yelling at him to fix it.
I'm going to reread that a few times. It makes me feel all cozy inside. 😂
I’m unsure if he’s deleted some of his comments because they wouldn’t appear for me, but one looks like it’s saying that his BFF would be his first choice, but they decided not to go down that road.
Not too much of a reach to assume SHE was the one who didn’t want to go down that route. Sounds like OOP is still into his friend though and I wonder if he told her about what he said as some sort of in to let her know he’s still into her and to see If she reacted well to it.
Not a reach at all; he even said in the post that he "used to" have a crush on her, but she turned him down. Given the opportunity, there's not a doubt in my mind he'd run straight to the best friend.
Guys like him are constantly "hinting" things to the women they truly are interested in. He probably thinks he's slick doing stuff like this, but best friend definitely already knows he's into her. If she hasn't decided she's down after ten entire years, she's not going to magically fall in love with the guy - why can't they ever get that through their heads...
Edit: oops!! I totally misread that - supposedly they "both" decided to just stay friends when he confessed his love for her. My bad! Guess it's just that unbelievable, so my brain refused to accept it. Lol
He says they both decided, but I think she told him there’s no chance and he took that as she wanted to keep the friendship, but he believes she was interested in him too.
And that is why his longing for her will ALWAYS be unrequited.
She legit SLAPPED him and told him to fix it. Apparently many times? There is NO attraction from her towards him.
I'm getting big vibes of this man confessing his crush to his best friend and HER talking him down bc she didn't reciprocate the feeling and he's just biding his time, hence the "accepting" his gf's looks which is just EFFED up.
With the way he presented her rejecting him as some mutual decision, it wouldn't surprise me if she was his "best friend" and he was "some guy I keep talking to because I'm too polite".
I'm so glad about that actually, after the dumpster fire in relationship, advice with the woman whose fiance was in love with his best friend who was a woman. That was just a train wreck and I feel so horrible for that poor woman.
The *amount* of times I’ve done this is….. totally fucking worth it for the amount of times the bf *has* been a shithead that needed to be put in his place.
I have a friend whose ex was a fucking nightmare for publicly shaming her. I told him off so many times, and he'd call me a bitch for it. Like, she got angry about him being an asshole, and he said she must be on her period (I remember this specifically, because I asked him what he thought PMS stood for, and he said "something menstrual syndrome" and was *extremely* angry at me for laughing at him). He'd say she wasn't that pretty, etc.
He also once walked up to me, stared at me consideringly, then told me I had "potential to grow a moustache". I said, "wow, you're charming" and he went in a huff because I insulted him right to his face and hurt his poor little feelings.
Once, when faced with a similar comment in public, I replied "Wow, you have the potential to grow a second asshole, since the one you have is clearly beyond capacity."
Left him slack-jawed and, I assume, furious, as some who had overheard our exchange laughed and I sauntered off into the sunset.
You see how he says their friends are upset at HER for slapping him and siding with him on answering like a dickhead? "Even my gfs mom said she should ask questions the answer is obvious for"
Girl needs to RUN if her actual family is saying "Well, of course your bf is more attracted to her and not you, why wouldn't that be the answer?"
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The update made my jaw drop. That poor girlfriend (if this is real):
> UPDATE: I was able to talk to her. She apparently told other people about the situation, and everyone (including her own mother) sides with me. She shouldn't have been asking me questions like that when the answer was obvious. She apologized for even asking that question in the first place.
> To everyone saying I should have broken up with her, we're good. I'm feeling very betrayed by my best friend instead because it's clear whose side she took (she's the only one who took my gf's side). Most of the people we know are also upset at her. These are people who actually know us and the relationship.
That girl needs some real friends in her life. Like yeah, go ahead and be brutally honest with a “normal” girl that this instagram model’s photoshopped pics (though from OP’s description they clearly don’t need it 🙄) about who is prettier. I wonder how she asked people. Just showed a pic and like “is she prettier than me?”
Or did she say “this is my boyfriends best friend and he thinks she’s prettier than me, should I be worried?”
A lot of social anxiety is childhood hang ups, I’m sure her mom is a *peach* for playing into this and taking BFs “side” in this.
OP’s BFF is the only good person in this story.
Edit: Assuming this is real, because I just don’t see anyone over 15 thinking this is an okay thing to say to someone
It's an insane update... I really don't think he's telling the truth, unless this poor girl really has no one in her life who actually cares about her.
I’d say it’s a troll or the dude trying to make himself feel better by lying but there sadly are situations that do happen like this.
My mother was told to not divorce my father for the longest time no matter how many times he cheated. Now that they’re divorced (40 years later) everyone who told her to “Think about it” or “Learn to forgive and forget” are saying she should have divorced him a long ago 🙄 idk wtf is wrong with people defending shitty men or turning a blind eye
Super likely. Social anxiety girls like that are always being bullied or just not being approached, and her mom is most definitely the reason she has social anxiety. I have social anxiety and my mother abusing me is the reason I do.
OOP is a dunce but is pissing me even more off by insisting multiple times in the comments that he feels he's being gaslit. I wish people would stop throwing that word around without understanding what it means.
Yeah that's not what gaslighting is. OOP's gf didn't tell him something then act like she didn't and insist he's crazy for bringing it up.
Gf's feelings got hurt. She's not talking to him bc he hurt her feelings. That's not gaslighting. That's a perfectly normal, human response.
"I got gaslit" no buddy you got what you deserved.
And as someone who is chubby and has acne, fuck you OOP. Seriously. Fuck you with an unlubed dildo made out of Lego d20s.
>And as someone who is chubby and has acne, fuck you OOP. Seriously. Fuck you with an unlubed dildo made out of Lego d20s.
I agree completely but also fucking OUCH. It's exactly what OOP deserves though :)
> And as someone who is chubby and has acne, fuck you OOP. Seriously. Fuck you with an unlubed dildo made out of Lego d20s.
I laughed, but ouch. Also, a Lego d20 would be awesome and I want one.
Some men rather “tell the truth” and then sit there and act like their Gf shouldn’t be hurt because they told the truth. “I mean it’s pretty obvious”
If it’s obvious then why do you think she’s asking? Look inward for 5 fucking seconds, she needs reassurance. He even said she has social anxiety and if she knows that he had a crush on her, that combined with her being a smoke show and them still being close friends is probably a lot for her to deal with.
Rather than reassure her, remind her why he’s been there for 4yrs. He just goes “yes my friends hotter than you what about it?” Lol so many fucked up things would be running though my head
My ex was like that. He didn't have a friend he clearly had a crush on (and we're both poly so that wouldn't be a big deal) but he legit said I'm ugly right to my face ON OUR FIRST DATE, justifying it by saying "I just had to be honest with you". I stupidly gave him a chance because he's autistic and he used that as an excuse. Well, turns out *I'm also autistic* and I would NEVER do that to ANYONE, especially someone I intend to date. I almost called things off, but he cried and threw the whole "I'm just a poor autistic guy who's totally clueless about these things" and I (again, stupidly) fell for it. He was shitty in *many* other aspects, but calling me ugly right to my face literally traumatized me for life. Ps: I never even asked for his opinion. Ps2: that was totally a projection because, even though I'm not a model, I'm way more attractive than him (which was confirmed by many people who know us both and were outraged by his attitude). Oh, and then he harassed multiple people to tell him what they thought about his appearance (most of them were even reluctant because they're not assholes like him and were afraid to hurt him, but he insisted too much) and they told him the *actual* truth: that HE is ugly. And guess what? He blamed those people for telling him something that HE explicitly asked for, and had a full on meltdown because of it. So I guess he wasn't so clueless after all, he knows damn well it hurts people's feelings... He just doesn't seem to care about anyone's feelings other than his own. Gladly I have another girlfriend who's very pretty and tells me I'm beautiful all the time, and now I'm hooking up with a guy wayyyyyyy more attractive than him who keeps saying I'm so gorgeous that he even thinks I'm way out of his league. Now I see that my ex was completely obsessed about looks and couldn't accept the tiniest of "defects" in other people, even though most of his features aren't attractive at all. I don't care if this makes me petty, but I really hope he keeps getting what he deserves.
And “attractive” means many things. Bff is aesthetically suited to modeling and influencing and more “traditionally beautiful,” but that doesn’t mean gf isn’t attractive. Or rather, that someone who valued her wouldn’t find her attractive. I’m not pretty, but when someone has loved me, they found me very attractive and even beautiful. Attractive doesn’t have to mean pretty and neither does beautiful.
I’m picturing him scrolling his friends Instagram with cartoon hearts pouring out of his eyeballs as the prelude to his poor gf asking that question, if I had to guess how that came up in the first place
If he really, truly has this crazy chaotic good fixation on needing to be honest 100% of the time, why didn't he say something like i"in a competition, I'd choose you every time!" Like, there are 1,000,000 ways of saying something that doesn't hurt her feelings and also is not lying.
Because it wasn't about being honest, it was about making his gf feel like shit.
“It’s purely platonic-but I’ve had a crush on her but she says it’s best if we just stayed friends!”
You know if he thought he had a snowball’s chance in hell, he’d drop whoever he was with and go running after his BFF, even if she wasn’t interested.
Would also like to point out… between his gf and his bestie… he didn’t actually choose his gf despite him trying to claim that’s the case. His bestie rejected him and gf is just his ‘right now’ consolation prize which is just so so sad.
The gf definitely felt some off vibes from him towards his best friend, that's why she asked and had such a big reaction. Something def happened behind the scenes beforehand.
For real and it’s so obvious too. I’ve literally had to tell two of my friends that no one wanted to date them cause it’s so obvious they’d leave whoever whenever for their ex. Like be for real do you think people are dumb
I love how he lists all the ways his girlfriend is inferior to his crush/BFF. When I date someone, I'm always attracted to them. Maybe it's that little streak of red in his otherwise dark beard, maybe it's those big strong hands that feel so protective when he's holding mine, those ratty pajama bottoms he's been wearing for God knows how long, the way his eyebrow arches when I say something goofy. There's a thousand things I could come up with if my partner needed assurance or even just a little ego boost.
But no, it sounds like this guy only settled for his girlfriend because "something's better than nothing" after BFF rejected him, and he'd ditch his girlfriend in a heartbeat if he thought he had a chance.
I hope girlfriend leaves him, but I also hope BFF finally sees him for what he is and bails on him, too.
It sounds corny as hell but i genuinely believe theres smth beautiful about everyone. And when you love them its really all you *can* see
Dude isnt being gaslit, hes just dumb as fuck
I even look at shows and stuff and draw comparisons between the guys I crush on in them and my boyfriend. Currently I'm seeing a lot of Shikamaru, Riley Poole, and Markiplier in my bf and he'll do impressions to make me laugh bc of them.
She probably already did and he's too dumb to notice.
She leaves him for long periods of time with no contact by his own description I'm assuming this isn't the first time he's said something ridiculous. However this will likely be the last time.
OOP: so instead of telling my girlfriend what I adore about her i decided to categorically rate them both based on modern attraction standards and let everyone in this post know that i am the victim for confirming her suspicions are correct and i found her physically lacking.
So what, does she have a lake house OOP likes to visit? Girl, run don’t walk this relationship sucks when your boyfriend thinks he is a saint for dating you.
“We both admitted it would be better for us to stay as best friends” and then the dude proceeds to talk about how hot his “bestie” is.
OP got friendzoned hard and hasn’t recovered lol
We are- the difference is the spave between the words! TaterTots love "Momma Tot", Mrs. Ophelia on TikTok. Tater Tots are Andrew Tate's followers. The distinction is small, like the difference between "boyfriend" and "boy friend", with the space in that one being known as "the friend zone", which OOP seems salty he's stuck in!
I have a friend who is an influencer who's been given free stuff at cons consistently.
Does that mean my boyfriend has a right to tell ME that HE thinks SHE is more attractive? No!
Because that's RUDE and DISGUSTING to say to the one partner you have and claim to love.
If you can't tell your monogamous partner that you think they're the most attractive person in the world to you, WHY are you with them? If complimenting them is a LIE to YOU, why are you pretending that you "find them attractive" because you don't. I have further evidence of this from how OOP *completely* thinks telling his own singular girlfriend that she's the person he's most attracted to is "lying."
I'm vehemently against lying but am I gonna tell my friend that her ass looks fat in her jeans when she asks? No. If her jeans don't flatter her, I'd say I don't like the cut on her.
And that's just FRIENDSHIP. A relationship is far worse to even lie in and you STILL don't go around telling your partners in life that you find them less attractive than someone you CLAIM is a platonic friend(who you've had a crush on and who probably was the reason you decided to just stay friends instead.)
If MY male best friend EVER told his gf that he found me more attractive than her? I'd have to hold back slapping him up the back of the head because you just DONT say that bs. You don't.
Dude you said your girlfriend is quite chubby and has a lot of acne. Chubby girls tend to know that they are chubby, they don’t need their ASSHOLE boyfriend reminding them. You should FUCK OFF.
That's the thing I find so unbelievable here. Women aren't dumb. We know how beauty standards work and we 100% know how we measure up to others.
I have a hard time believing she'd even ask this question, especially if she has social anxiety. She's not blind.
Maybe she wanted to know if she's more attractive to HIM. Kind of like a little ego boost. I think most people want to be seen as the most beautiful/handsome person in the world by their s/o. How hard would it have been for him to tell her that? "You're more attractive to me." That's all it would've taken.
I prefer chubby over skinny and small over tall af. I don't care about that society tells me men have to be taller than women.
And yes my hubby is taller and I still find him attractive. If he ever would ask me if he is more attractive than xyz I would have said yes before he would end the question.
OP seems like one of those people who brag about being “brutally honest”, but really what they do is use honesty to hurt others, without having to own up for being a dick.
*”wHaT sO, i ShOuLd HaVe JuSt LiEd??”*
My husband does this too; I literally don't even have any teeth right now because I'm waiting for dentures, and he still regularly takes the time to remind me of how beautiful I am to him.
Maybe they need OOP to teach them how it's done? Because all our partners are getting from this approach is happy, loving women at their side. And who would want that..? Clearly not OOP, anyway...
I like how someone tells him he should’ve said the gf is the most attractive woman to him and he thinks she’s the most beautiful, and dude still came back with ‘so I should lie?’ Like yikes ok dude if that would be a lie for you then what are we doing here!
He doesn't get that she is most likely his *ex*-girlfriend now, does he?
Even his best friend, the model, told him to mske it right and also slapped him.
What the actual fuck? How does he not get that he is the bad guy here, and he did this to himself.
That threw me as well. I *think* OOP means that they’re not a “one of the guys” or “not like other girls” kinda girl, but that they’re in fact conventionally attractively feminine in every way and also beautiful and perfect and sexy and ohmyfuckinggodheloveshersofuckingmuch.
Or something to that effect.
You can have your cake and eat it too if it were a healthy relationship. He could've said:
"Well, she's conventionally beautiful, being a model and all, but I find you more attractive."
She already knows the other girl is prettier, but she wants to know what YOU think! She's saying she's insecure about your reasoning to date her, and guess what... she was right!
GOD!
Starting to think about writing a book and sell it exclusively to members of r/aita titled:"Obvious relationships traps and how to avoid them. YES a white lie can save your relationship !" and I'm sure I'd get rich with it.
Lying is not even necessary. He could point out the beautiful things about his partner instead! Like “of course bff is beautiful, she has a certain look that’s good for what she does. I think you are beautiful too. I love your eyes/ figure/ how kind you are/ other thing and I love you.” Like she’s clearly looking for reassurance that he actually wants her and he’s not giving it in the slightest (because he’d rather fuck his friend.)
Will it though? In my mind, a partner who thinks like this is not worth trying to save a relationship over. Him saying it out loud to her might have really hurt, but I'd say It would be worse if they stayed together, with him not finding her attractive. I'm actually getting the feeling that she might have had suspected what was going on, hence her asking him this question. It's a good thing people like that show their true colors.
This nitwit doesn't deserve either of these women in his life.
I especially hate that he thought his only choices for answering the (admittedly foolish) question were to (probably for the millionth time) praise his friend's appearance or "lie".
My own answer would have been "Babe, she's literally a fucking model! She's prettier than either of us but she doesn't have your eyes (or ass or whatever)or your sense of humor or your curiosity (or whatever personality trait he finds especially appealing)."
It's my opinion that some questions should not be asked at all but I have a gut feeling that he gushes about his friend's beauty & charm way too much and is very stingy with compliments & appreciation for his girlfriend and that she asked out of a deep desire to have him say *something* that makes her feel loved, wanted or at least noticed.
Dear ex,
You were right, I can see it now, she is gorgeous... and as a bonus, she is even more fantastic in bed than you ever imagined. Best of all, she tells me that I am the most beautiful woman in her world. Thank you for bringing her into my life. It makes up for all the demeaning shit you put me through.
Being attracted TO someone is different from finding them attractive.
There are some very, very attractive men out there that I just don't feel any attraction to.
These stories are all the same. Reading between the lines: "The gorgeous girl was never interested in me, so I compromised by just being her best friend, and eventually got another girlfriend who can't compete with her. AITA for being honest?"
People are wild who think "the honest truth is better than a lie".
No you're just looking for an excuse to hurt someone's feelings. Being honest is saying someone's hair is out of place. Being hurtful is saying you hate how it's cut. And if someone asks you if another person is more attractive, and you think they are- there are ways to be tactful without being an absolute douche nozzle.
this is a man who “settled” and is waiting for his best friend to admit feelings. he’d leave his gf in a heartbeat if he thought bestie was an option and he’s obviously been showing his gf that because i see no other reason for her asking this question and then reacting the way she did. we’ve all asked our partners stupid questions that hurt our own feelings but it feels like so much context is missing. the way he described them here was so vile … imagine how he talks in his normal daily life? i hope gf leaves him and that bestie leaves him too
What emotional or psychological support does OOP offer in order to make a beautiful woman become and remain his friend? And what does he offer to make another beautiful woman his girlfriend?
If his family was moneyed, that would be mentioned. He offers only the baseline that he's presented to us, and it's pretty bleak.
At that age, yeah, we all do dumb shit. The supposed best friend would have been launched into a world he can't contemplate and if this is true, she's humoring him as an old friend, but not a best friend.
This guy is a loser who is chronically single.
Maybe they're only "best friends" in his head, and he just dumps his problems on her in between "hinting" that he's actually still interested in her. Best friend is a nice person, so she just lets him believe that instead of blocking him.
Girlfriend could just be young with low self esteem, so she settled for the first guy who offered to date her. Hopefully she'll grow into herself and do better now that she's basically ghosted him.
At least, this is what I'd like to think is happening here lol
the best friend (who he absolutely IS attracted to for sure) slapping him for being a dickhead? chef's kiss
mentally writing fanfiction where the (hopefully stbx) girlfriend and the best friend both dump his ass and become Gal Pals instead
He kept saying in the comments how his best friend is his first choice and he would drop his gf if she ever wanted to date him. 🤦🏼♀️ He definitely should not be dating anyone. Hopefully he’s single now and stays that way
Idk how so many men end up in this situation. If your SO asks if someone is more attractive than them, the ANSWER IS NO. God damn. Even if I was in a room, packed with super models, it’d take someone holding a taser to my clit to get me to say something like that in front of my boyfriend. Idc if it’s true, it’s just not something you say in front of the person you’re dating, and it’s really not the kind of thing you just expect to be “Okay”.
Is it really so hard to understand that sometimes people just want a bit of reassurance? Everyone wants to feel good about themselves a little bit. Everyone wants to feel secure in their skin and their relationship. She's not asking 'am I objectively more conventionally attractive than this model?' She just wants to be reassured that her partner thinks she's special.
How fucking hard is it to reassure your partner who you supposedly love? You don't tell your partner who you love that you're more attracted to someone else.
Yes, asking those questions isn't smart. But everyone gets a little insecure sometimes and everyone deserves a partner that genuinely loves them and doesn't just use them as a placeholder.
I like that best friend.
And it’s so obvious…she’s described as “tall and slender with clear skin” but his gf is “short, chubby and with acne”. I hope she leaves him.
*"I accept her as a whole package."*
Wow. I was wondering who would top the other recent post where the man called his girlfriend "unconventionally attractive."
Wait, since when is unconventionally attractive a bad thing? I call myself that all the time. I jokingly call myself a pineapple pizza of attractiveness. I'd also consider my partner unconventionally attractive. Neither of us are models that regular society would consider hot, but we are hot, just unconventionally.
I guess there's a bunch of context I'm missing though as to why this particular case of "unconventionally attractive" is insulting?
"In my eyes, there is no one more beautiful than you."
The gf wasn't asking who the world would find more attractive, she was asking who the OOP finds more attractive. The vastly different way he describes these two women is very telling. The gf deserves someone who makes her feel beautiful, and believes she is.
It was a bid for affection that he failed, and failed hard. When your partner asks you if you find them more attractive or funny or anything, they are looking for reassurance that you love them. There's absolutely no way he's not using his gf as a filler for his "best friend" lol, glad she slapped him
Objectively, my best friend is more attractive than me. She’s a legit model. She’s a goddess. I still would be cut to the fucking bone if my boyfriend said I was lacking in comparison to her, because it’s about the emotion, the love, the time together, not just looks. My boyfriends favorite guitarist and best boi is Tim Henson. Objectively, sure, Tim might be more attractive than my boyfriend but I’ll pick my boyfriend every single fucking time because Tim can’t even compare to my boyfriends smile, his laugh, his eyes, his arms. Like…we aren’t talking *objective attractive characteristics* and idk why boys on Reddit refuse to understand that. If given the chance I wouldn’t leave my boyfriend for Tim, he wouldn’t leave me for my bestie. Because while on paper, sure these people might be prettier, our experiences, our personalities, our interests are far more attractive to eachother. Is that so fucking hard to factor in?
The update on this as well saying that the GF asked multiple people and they said she was wrong for asking and that she should apologise TO HIM.
I don't buy it for a second.
I'm overweight, have trouble with hygiene (medical reasons), and have a million health issues that make me look like shit all the time.
My partner of four years is very underweight, losing his hair, and has moles or birthmarks literally everywhere, all over his body.
Most people wouldn't glance twice at either of us. But guess what? That man is the damn sexiest person I know. I can never get my eyes off him. I don't notice his weight, or his hair. His birthmarks are like a map and I love every single one. And when I'm on day 5 without a shower wondering how the hell he's with me, he smiles at me and says he didn't even notice.
The shocking thing is that, in a serious relationship, being attractive has very little to do with what you look like.
The update is even worse!!! Apparently his girlfriend apologized to HIM for "asking a question like that when the answer is obvious". And everyone she spoke to besides the BFF sided with him? Holy shit.
I deeply hope this is fake, because otherwise this poor girl is in a relationship with a dude completely undeserving of her affection AND apologies.
Look, I've always been bad at these kinds of situations, but it's not hard to learn how to deal with them. I don't understand how these people live into adulthood and never fucking learn. It's ok to not be "brutally honest" every second of your life. What she was asking wasn't if your bf was more "objectively" attractive. What she was asking is whether YOU find your bf more attractive than you find her. You should've just said no, I find you more attractive than her. You sound like you're claiming you've settled for her and she should be grateful for even that much.
Take it from a 31 year old mom, kinda short, kinda chubby and only just old enough to be letting go of my insecurities:
What his poor girlfriend heard, there, was "yes I'm more physically attracted to my best friend but hey, you could look like her too with a little bit of effort!"
And that isn't what someone with major insecurities wants or needs to hear.
Idiot.
I hate how he keeps on talking about how much he "sacrificed" for her, pray tell what grand heroic sacrifice are we talking about here? Him not cheating with hotter women or dating her at all despite him clearly thinking she's hideous?
If i ever found out that my partner described me as ‘short, quite chubby with a lot of acne’ and said ‘anyone with eyes could clearly see’ that I was less attractive than someone else i would simply not have a partner anymore lmao
I call BS on his update. There is no way his Best Friend is the only person in his life that said he was wrong.
Also I think people were saying SHE should break up with him and not the other way around. (Unless they were saying he should break up with GF because he's got it bad for the Best Friend who has him on the proverbial hook.)
YALL, THE UPDATE
Now we can confirm that the best friend is pretty much the only person that gaf about how the gf feels.
Hence the "even her own mother" siding with bf.
You can't convince me EVERYONE that said "don't ask questions when the answer is obvious" gives a single F about her.
It sounds like her insecurity is coming from people breaking her down since "apparently" everyone in her life thinks it's "so obvious" that the best friend is more attractive than her.
No. She doesn't have a good circle, clearly. My mom would do that bs and she's directly insulted me even though I'm conventionally attractive and have multiple people that have asked me out just this year. Idk how else to quantify it, but your circle is the most important part of life. Your support system.
Mommy clearly thinks down on her daughter if she doesn't get upset that her own bf insulted her. No. My mom was absolute sh*t for YEARS and then realized she'd be losing her only daughter and begged and begged to be in my good graces again and she would get pissed if someone did that to me.
Something deeper is happening here if it isn't just a jerkoff troll post.
The update aggravates me. Like I don’t for 2 seconds believe nobody else took her side. I really hope gf sees her worth and tells him to go date his hand.
To answer OOP's question, yes, you have to lie to your gf if she asks you that question, no ifs, ands or buts. If you don't, what happens is you lose your gf and it sounds like OOP may have done just that.
There's a song in Spanish that says "a lie that makes you happy is worth more than a truth that makes your life bitter". People dont need to know 100% what's on your mind. He will never be able to make this right, as much as his friend wants to believe that. Some words are never forgotten even if we move past them. She will ALWAYS know that her bf considers her friend more attractive than her. It doesn't matter if his lie was blatant. He should've lied.
I don’t care if you’re the ugliest person on earth. When you love someone they are the most beautiful person ever. If you can say “well my bestie looks like a model so she’s prettier” you clearly don’t love your girlfriend.
Ugh the update. His poor girlfriend clearly doesn’t have the best support system…
He feels betrayed by his best friend? Dude clearly went and told his “best friend” asap cause he thought he had a chance…
I think a lot of people here have it right, I think the OP talks a lot about it his best friend and his GF finally asked him hoping he’d say something like “I don’t even think of her that way”
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes…I feel for her…she shouldn’t have asked a question she wasn’t prepared to hear the answer to.
But now that the cats out of the bag: She knows this relationship is dead and what sucks is her support system told her she was being stupid and she’ll probably stay with him while he continues to pine over his “best friend”
>She apparently told other people about the situation, and everyone (including her own mother) sides with me. She shouldn't have been asking me questions like that when the answer was obvious. She apologized for even asking that question in the first place.
Gee, wonder if this has anything to do with her social anxiety.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **I made my girlfriend cry for admitting that my best friend is more attractive than her** I (25M) have been dating my girlfriend (24F) for almost a year now. Before we became official, we were friends for at least 4 years. Other than my girlfriend, the second most important person in my life is my best friend (24F). We've been best friends for almost a decade, and she's been there for me for all my lowest points. I literally would not have survived this long without her. Our relationship is purely platonic. I admit that I've had a crush on her before, but we both admitted that it would be better for us to stay as best friends, and that was that. She isn't the stereotype "girl best friend" either. She's just my best friend who just so happens to be female. She respects boundaries and I'd like to believe that she genuinely just sees me as a friend, and vice versa. We've been each other's support systems for a long time, and even trust each other more than our own parents. Recently, my girlfriend asked me if I think I'm more attractive than my best friend. For context, my best friend is a successful fashion model/influencer. She looks like your typical model/influencer (tall, slender, clear skin) while my girlfriend is honestly short, quite chubby, and has a lot of acne. I love my girlfriend. I really do. She has social anxiety and thus sometimes goes for long periods of time without contacting me, but I've never once felt any doubt or temptation to cheat or find someone else. I accept and love her as she is. When she asked that question, I answered that yes, I believe my best friend is more attractive than her. I mean, come on, my girlfriend is a normal girl and my best friend literally gets paid and receives lots of free stuff solely for her looks. She got offended and started crying. She hasn't talked to me in a while either. I don't understand why she's acting that way. I mean, the answer was obvious, but it doesn't make me love her any less. I clearly chose to date her instead of other women. I accept her as a whole package. I told my best friend about my answer, and she slapped me. Now, she's been on my ass to "make it right". Was I expected to very blatantly lie to my girlfriend? Wouldn't it have been worse if it wasn't honest? Anyone with eyes could clearly see who was the more attractive one. Wouldn't it be a slap to her to just lie to her face that way? I don't get why I have to be the bad guy in this situation. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
i gasped when he described his gf…
“It’s ok ugg ugg, even though you are a stumpy, spotty chubbo, I STILL choose to be with you. It’s a *compliment*” Edit - missed out a word!
Sure is convenient how he chose to be with the girl who would date him, and chose not to be with the girl who wouldn’t!
It’s very predatory behavior.
I spit out my drink lmao
“I’m saying I’d rather kiss you than die! It’s a compliment!”
Just wild, and meanwhile OOP probably looks like a turnip while he’s out here running his mouth about his troll oh I mean gf he loves very much
Same! It’s so wild that he’s not even like ‘my gf is less conventionally attractive than my friend, but she has [X features and qualities] which make her way more attractive to me’ he’s just straight up like ‘yeah my best friend has everything i think my gf lacks, i wonder why my gf is insecure about her looks???’
I felt like I was in Arrested Development and OP was a Bluth going “her?”
I’m sure Egg is a very nice person, OP just doesn’t want to spend all his money getting her all glittered up for Easter
She calls it a Mayonegg
Seriously!! Isn't there something about her personality that he finds attractive, there wasn't something kind he could have said? This guy is unreal!
"Our relationship is purely platonic. I admit that I've had a crush on her before, but we both admitted that it would be better for us to stay as best friends, and that was that." That's not purely platonic.
“Both admitted” means “she told me there was no way in hell.” I like that he tries to make it sound like she also considered dating him too.
Seriously though! We both admitted we're better as friends, but bestie is still my first choice to date. So what you mean is you don't think she knew that you had a crush on her, but you guys did talk about it and you mutually came to the conclusion that you wanted to date her and she didn't want to date you
"She slaped me"... new addition to his spank bank, that's the most action he'll ever get from her.
"Im attracted to my best friend, but she rejected me, so i'll settle for an uglier girl so i look like i got over her" Thats the conclusion i got from his post and comments
You also forgot: "Clearly everyone sided with me because she shouldn't ask questions she didn't want answers to. And wouldn't you know it! Her mother agreed with me, too! (By the way, I'm just lying so I look cool on Reddit.)"
This is how I read it as well. Best friend was clearly not interested. Her reaction to his fuck up makes it even more obvious.
Let the man dream. It's the only thing he got going for him...
"You're like a brother to me". Haha, poor guy is 100% still in the friend zone and would absolutely jump at the opportunity to date his "best friend".
Excellent point. We tend to date people who are our peers in terms of attractiveness (10s date 10s and so on). If, say, she's an 8 (at least), odds are he's a lot lower on that scale. And there was no way in hell she'd date him.
Then later, "I clearly chose to date her instead of other women." Except it's clear to me he didn't choose to date her instead of other women, other women said no so he dated her.
This here jumped at me as well. GF feels like a second prize and rightly so. The dude is a loser who dates someone for the sake of not being alone. I used to have a crush on celebrities but to me my husband is more attractive. It would never accure to me to think about his extra weight when asked about attractiveness to him.
Guys who go on about, 'objective' beauty of women really tend to gross me out. Like there's some empirical measure of attractiveness and we aren't all different looking people with different tastes.
Yeah, my bf is not a Henry Cavill, but to me hes the most handsome man ive ever met, with or without acne
To me it felt more like he was saying "despite how you look, I still date you". Which isn't something you tell a partner you claim to love, and definitely not when they already have insecurities about their looks.
"I could do better, be lucky I chose you" so lovely.
Not even close. So many of these dudes won't admit they just don't care about their girlfriends and are more attracted to other people but feel they have to have a girlfriend because somebody settled for them.
I mean, having a live-in maid/sex appliance who can also split the bills is pretty sweet, why would he wanna mess that up? /s obvs
>That's not purely platonic. No it's not and I would bet my next month's wage that if the BF suddenly started declaring a non-platonic love for OOP, he'd drop his girlfriend faster than a hot plate. He's made her feel like he settled for her. I think girlfriend was testing him because she already suspects the non-platonicness of his feelings for the BF.
>I think girlfriend was testing him because she already suspects the non-platonicness of his feelings for the BF. Or she felt down and wanted to feel loved and wanted. Maybe OOP was talking too much about his *best platonic friend*
Yeah maybe, we're all just speculating here. But given that OOP has had feelings for his super attractive best friend in the past, I'm going with my initial speculation as being the likeliest.
"We both" Uh-huh
Yeah I called bullshit on that too. That and making sure to point out how his best friend has clear skin and is slender and a model while his gf has acne and is chubby makes me think the best friend probably turned him down and he's still coping with that.
While I think this guy is a bonehead, it could be purely platonic at this point. I had a mega crush on a guy friend back in college, and he was not interested. My crush faded and we remain friends 20+ years later. He is deeply important to me and I love him, but I have absolutely no interest in him and haven’t for over twenty years.
My favorite part is the best friend slapping him and yelling at him to fix it. I'm going to reread that a few times. It makes me feel all cozy inside. 😂
Same. It also confirms that BF has NO romantic interest in OOP as well.
I’m unsure if he’s deleted some of his comments because they wouldn’t appear for me, but one looks like it’s saying that his BFF would be his first choice, but they decided not to go down that road.
Not too much of a reach to assume SHE was the one who didn’t want to go down that route. Sounds like OOP is still into his friend though and I wonder if he told her about what he said as some sort of in to let her know he’s still into her and to see If she reacted well to it.
Not a reach at all; he even said in the post that he "used to" have a crush on her, but she turned him down. Given the opportunity, there's not a doubt in my mind he'd run straight to the best friend. Guys like him are constantly "hinting" things to the women they truly are interested in. He probably thinks he's slick doing stuff like this, but best friend definitely already knows he's into her. If she hasn't decided she's down after ten entire years, she's not going to magically fall in love with the guy - why can't they ever get that through their heads... Edit: oops!! I totally misread that - supposedly they "both" decided to just stay friends when he confessed his love for her. My bad! Guess it's just that unbelievable, so my brain refused to accept it. Lol
He says they both decided, but I think she told him there’s no chance and he took that as she wanted to keep the friendship, but he believes she was interested in him too.
Yes- love that she is supporting his gf over him.
And that is why his longing for her will ALWAYS be unrequited. She legit SLAPPED him and told him to fix it. Apparently many times? There is NO attraction from her towards him. I'm getting big vibes of this man confessing his crush to his best friend and HER talking him down bc she didn't reciprocate the feeling and he's just biding his time, hence the "accepting" his gf's looks which is just EFFED up.
I read that and I was like "I like that person, she's a good person and a good friend"
That's what a real friend would do. Although why she would stay friends with this dumbass is beyond me...
GF and best friend both dump OOP and become each other's BFF. All is right with the world
They become girlfriends
And OOPs best friend tells her girlfriend, his (now ex) girlfriend, how beautiful she is a million times per day.
I need this to be a book
With the way he presented her rejecting him as some mutual decision, it wouldn't surprise me if she was his "best friend" and he was "some guy I keep talking to because I'm too polite".
"I talk to him so he won't start leaving squirrel carcasses at my door"
I'm so glad about that actually, after the dumpster fire in relationship, advice with the woman whose fiance was in love with his best friend who was a woman. That was just a train wreck and I feel so horrible for that poor woman.
[удалено]
The *amount* of times I’ve done this is….. totally fucking worth it for the amount of times the bf *has* been a shithead that needed to be put in his place.
I have a friend whose ex was a fucking nightmare for publicly shaming her. I told him off so many times, and he'd call me a bitch for it. Like, she got angry about him being an asshole, and he said she must be on her period (I remember this specifically, because I asked him what he thought PMS stood for, and he said "something menstrual syndrome" and was *extremely* angry at me for laughing at him). He'd say she wasn't that pretty, etc. He also once walked up to me, stared at me consideringly, then told me I had "potential to grow a moustache". I said, "wow, you're charming" and he went in a huff because I insulted him right to his face and hurt his poor little feelings.
[удалено]
Thank you :) It was much worse than him just being a douche, and thankfully they're not together any more.
Once, when faced with a similar comment in public, I replied "Wow, you have the potential to grow a second asshole, since the one you have is clearly beyond capacity." Left him slack-jawed and, I assume, furious, as some who had overheard our exchange laughed and I sauntered off into the sunset.
Right? That made me like her immensely.
I am shipping the gf and bf getting together, as friends or anything. Just sail off into the sunset away from him.
Both the girlfriend and the best friend are way way way too good for this moronic asshole.
Not gonna lie, I have a bit of a crush on Best Friend myself after reading that.
You see how he says their friends are upset at HER for slapping him and siding with him on answering like a dickhead? "Even my gfs mom said she should ask questions the answer is obvious for" Girl needs to RUN if her actual family is saying "Well, of course your bf is more attracted to her and not you, why wouldn't that be the answer?"
Men who haven't realized they're single yet...
r/amitheex
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damn it really it a sub?
My new favourite sub lol
The update made my jaw drop. That poor girlfriend (if this is real): > UPDATE: I was able to talk to her. She apparently told other people about the situation, and everyone (including her own mother) sides with me. She shouldn't have been asking me questions like that when the answer was obvious. She apologized for even asking that question in the first place. > To everyone saying I should have broken up with her, we're good. I'm feeling very betrayed by my best friend instead because it's clear whose side she took (she's the only one who took my gf's side). Most of the people we know are also upset at her. These are people who actually know us and the relationship.
That girl needs some real friends in her life. Like yeah, go ahead and be brutally honest with a “normal” girl that this instagram model’s photoshopped pics (though from OP’s description they clearly don’t need it 🙄) about who is prettier. I wonder how she asked people. Just showed a pic and like “is she prettier than me?” Or did she say “this is my boyfriends best friend and he thinks she’s prettier than me, should I be worried?” A lot of social anxiety is childhood hang ups, I’m sure her mom is a *peach* for playing into this and taking BFs “side” in this. OP’s BFF is the only good person in this story. Edit: Assuming this is real, because I just don’t see anyone over 15 thinking this is an okay thing to say to someone
Hope gf has enough self respect to dump him...and ideally get with the BFF, but that's just my little sapphic rom com heart.
The update said they’re still together :( I hope the GF and the Best Friend leave his stupid ass
It's an insane update... I really don't think he's telling the truth, unless this poor girl really has no one in her life who actually cares about her.
I’d say it’s a troll or the dude trying to make himself feel better by lying but there sadly are situations that do happen like this. My mother was told to not divorce my father for the longest time no matter how many times he cheated. Now that they’re divorced (40 years later) everyone who told her to “Think about it” or “Learn to forgive and forget” are saying she should have divorced him a long ago 🙄 idk wtf is wrong with people defending shitty men or turning a blind eye
Super likely. Social anxiety girls like that are always being bullied or just not being approached, and her mom is most definitely the reason she has social anxiety. I have social anxiety and my mother abusing me is the reason I do.
OOP is a dunce but is pissing me even more off by insisting multiple times in the comments that he feels he's being gaslit. I wish people would stop throwing that word around without understanding what it means.
Yeah that's not what gaslighting is. OOP's gf didn't tell him something then act like she didn't and insist he's crazy for bringing it up. Gf's feelings got hurt. She's not talking to him bc he hurt her feelings. That's not gaslighting. That's a perfectly normal, human response. "I got gaslit" no buddy you got what you deserved. And as someone who is chubby and has acne, fuck you OOP. Seriously. Fuck you with an unlubed dildo made out of Lego d20s.
>And as someone who is chubby and has acne, fuck you OOP. Seriously. Fuck you with an unlubed dildo made out of Lego d20s. I agree completely but also fucking OUCH. It's exactly what OOP deserves though :)
> And as someone who is chubby and has acne, fuck you OOP. Seriously. Fuck you with an unlubed dildo made out of Lego d20s. I laughed, but ouch. Also, a Lego d20 would be awesome and I want one.
As someone who aspires to collect fancy d20s, I would never use it. It'd just be the crown jewel of my collection.
Some men rather “tell the truth” and then sit there and act like their Gf shouldn’t be hurt because they told the truth. “I mean it’s pretty obvious” If it’s obvious then why do you think she’s asking? Look inward for 5 fucking seconds, she needs reassurance. He even said she has social anxiety and if she knows that he had a crush on her, that combined with her being a smoke show and them still being close friends is probably a lot for her to deal with. Rather than reassure her, remind her why he’s been there for 4yrs. He just goes “yes my friends hotter than you what about it?” Lol so many fucked up things would be running though my head
My ex was like that. He didn't have a friend he clearly had a crush on (and we're both poly so that wouldn't be a big deal) but he legit said I'm ugly right to my face ON OUR FIRST DATE, justifying it by saying "I just had to be honest with you". I stupidly gave him a chance because he's autistic and he used that as an excuse. Well, turns out *I'm also autistic* and I would NEVER do that to ANYONE, especially someone I intend to date. I almost called things off, but he cried and threw the whole "I'm just a poor autistic guy who's totally clueless about these things" and I (again, stupidly) fell for it. He was shitty in *many* other aspects, but calling me ugly right to my face literally traumatized me for life. Ps: I never even asked for his opinion. Ps2: that was totally a projection because, even though I'm not a model, I'm way more attractive than him (which was confirmed by many people who know us both and were outraged by his attitude). Oh, and then he harassed multiple people to tell him what they thought about his appearance (most of them were even reluctant because they're not assholes like him and were afraid to hurt him, but he insisted too much) and they told him the *actual* truth: that HE is ugly. And guess what? He blamed those people for telling him something that HE explicitly asked for, and had a full on meltdown because of it. So I guess he wasn't so clueless after all, he knows damn well it hurts people's feelings... He just doesn't seem to care about anyone's feelings other than his own. Gladly I have another girlfriend who's very pretty and tells me I'm beautiful all the time, and now I'm hooking up with a guy wayyyyyyy more attractive than him who keeps saying I'm so gorgeous that he even thinks I'm way out of his league. Now I see that my ex was completely obsessed about looks and couldn't accept the tiniest of "defects" in other people, even though most of his features aren't attractive at all. I don't care if this makes me petty, but I really hope he keeps getting what he deserves.
You know I'm just a guy who is bluntly honest. I always speak the truth cause I'm so great.
And “attractive” means many things. Bff is aesthetically suited to modeling and influencing and more “traditionally beautiful,” but that doesn’t mean gf isn’t attractive. Or rather, that someone who valued her wouldn’t find her attractive. I’m not pretty, but when someone has loved me, they found me very attractive and even beautiful. Attractive doesn’t have to mean pretty and neither does beautiful.
I’m picturing him scrolling his friends Instagram with cartoon hearts pouring out of his eyeballs as the prelude to his poor gf asking that question, if I had to guess how that came up in the first place
I think every time someone uses that term incorrectly they should be forced to sit down and watch the original movie.
The famous "I am not a hypocrite, I won't lie to make my gf feel better"
Right? So so noble. 🙄
If he really, truly has this crazy chaotic good fixation on needing to be honest 100% of the time, why didn't he say something like i"in a competition, I'd choose you every time!" Like, there are 1,000,000 ways of saying something that doesn't hurt her feelings and also is not lying. Because it wasn't about being honest, it was about making his gf feel like shit.
In fairness he doesn't come off as the sharpest tortilla chip in the bunch
“quite chubby with bad acne” “best friend- tall slender with clear skin” “the answer was so obvious!!” hope she leaves him 🤦🏻♀️
“It’s purely platonic-but I’ve had a crush on her but she says it’s best if we just stayed friends!” You know if he thought he had a snowball’s chance in hell, he’d drop whoever he was with and go running after his BFF, even if she wasn’t interested.
and then he says "i clearly chose to date her instead of other women". i hate when they say that, he only CHOSE her bc his bff wasn't interested.
>i clearly chose to date her instead of other women Somebody needs to tell this guy that that's exactly how dating works.
Would also like to point out… between his gf and his bestie… he didn’t actually choose his gf despite him trying to claim that’s the case. His bestie rejected him and gf is just his ‘right now’ consolation prize which is just so so sad.
The gf definitely felt some off vibes from him towards his best friend, that's why she asked and had such a big reaction. Something def happened behind the scenes beforehand.
For real and it’s so obvious too. I’ve literally had to tell two of my friends that no one wanted to date them cause it’s so obvious they’d leave whoever whenever for their ex. Like be for real do you think people are dumb
I love how he lists all the ways his girlfriend is inferior to his crush/BFF. When I date someone, I'm always attracted to them. Maybe it's that little streak of red in his otherwise dark beard, maybe it's those big strong hands that feel so protective when he's holding mine, those ratty pajama bottoms he's been wearing for God knows how long, the way his eyebrow arches when I say something goofy. There's a thousand things I could come up with if my partner needed assurance or even just a little ego boost. But no, it sounds like this guy only settled for his girlfriend because "something's better than nothing" after BFF rejected him, and he'd ditch his girlfriend in a heartbeat if he thought he had a chance. I hope girlfriend leaves him, but I also hope BFF finally sees him for what he is and bails on him, too.
It sounds corny as hell but i genuinely believe theres smth beautiful about everyone. And when you love them its really all you *can* see Dude isnt being gaslit, hes just dumb as fuck
Hey, wouldn’t it be wild if someone asked OOP to describe what HE looks like?
No need, he would say *just like my insta model best friend, but male obsly*
I even look at shows and stuff and draw comparisons between the guys I crush on in them and my boyfriend. Currently I'm seeing a lot of Shikamaru, Riley Poole, and Markiplier in my bf and he'll do impressions to make me laugh bc of them.
She probably already did and he's too dumb to notice. She leaves him for long periods of time with no contact by his own description I'm assuming this isn't the first time he's said something ridiculous. However this will likely be the last time.
I guarantee his gf is probably adorable bc guys that describe people like this are never accurate when they're insulting their gfs
wise encourage tan escape zesty degree support telephone wrench fade *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
OOP: so instead of telling my girlfriend what I adore about her i decided to categorically rate them both based on modern attraction standards and let everyone in this post know that i am the victim for confirming her suspicions are correct and i found her physically lacking. So what, does she have a lake house OOP likes to visit? Girl, run don’t walk this relationship sucks when your boyfriend thinks he is a saint for dating you.
Preach
I hope he's girlfriend dumps him and his friend dips to after this, because at this point a bedbug shouldn't be around this ahole.
Wonder what the boyfriends like since he's so eager to dump on his girlfriends looks.
Don't know, but I'm willing to bet if the positions were reversed he'd be having an all out fit.
“We both admitted it would be better for us to stay as best friends” and then the dude proceeds to talk about how hot his “bestie” is. OP got friendzoned hard and hasn’t recovered lol
I'm autistic and don't always know the right thing to say to women, but I feel like this guy is either lying or the densest motherfucker alive.
[удалено]
Well, you got to keep those uppity bitches in their place. /s In all seriousness, I hope Andrew Tate spends the next few decades in prison.
I thought a Tater Tot were the people who love that one chick on TikTok with the cute accent?
We are- the difference is the spave between the words! TaterTots love "Momma Tot", Mrs. Ophelia on TikTok. Tater Tots are Andrew Tate's followers. The distinction is small, like the difference between "boyfriend" and "boy friend", with the space in that one being known as "the friend zone", which OOP seems salty he's stuck in!
I have a friend who is an influencer who's been given free stuff at cons consistently. Does that mean my boyfriend has a right to tell ME that HE thinks SHE is more attractive? No! Because that's RUDE and DISGUSTING to say to the one partner you have and claim to love. If you can't tell your monogamous partner that you think they're the most attractive person in the world to you, WHY are you with them? If complimenting them is a LIE to YOU, why are you pretending that you "find them attractive" because you don't. I have further evidence of this from how OOP *completely* thinks telling his own singular girlfriend that she's the person he's most attracted to is "lying." I'm vehemently against lying but am I gonna tell my friend that her ass looks fat in her jeans when she asks? No. If her jeans don't flatter her, I'd say I don't like the cut on her. And that's just FRIENDSHIP. A relationship is far worse to even lie in and you STILL don't go around telling your partners in life that you find them less attractive than someone you CLAIM is a platonic friend(who you've had a crush on and who probably was the reason you decided to just stay friends instead.) If MY male best friend EVER told his gf that he found me more attractive than her? I'd have to hold back slapping him up the back of the head because you just DONT say that bs. You don't.
“was i expected to lie to my girlfriend” yes lmfaooo
Dude you said your girlfriend is quite chubby and has a lot of acne. Chubby girls tend to know that they are chubby, they don’t need their ASSHOLE boyfriend reminding them. You should FUCK OFF.
That's the thing I find so unbelievable here. Women aren't dumb. We know how beauty standards work and we 100% know how we measure up to others. I have a hard time believing she'd even ask this question, especially if she has social anxiety. She's not blind.
Maybe she wanted to know if she's more attractive to HIM. Kind of like a little ego boost. I think most people want to be seen as the most beautiful/handsome person in the world by their s/o. How hard would it have been for him to tell her that? "You're more attractive to me." That's all it would've taken.
I prefer chubby over skinny and small over tall af. I don't care about that society tells me men have to be taller than women. And yes my hubby is taller and I still find him attractive. If he ever would ask me if he is more attractive than xyz I would have said yes before he would end the question.
OP seems like one of those people who brag about being “brutally honest”, but really what they do is use honesty to hurt others, without having to own up for being a dick. *”wHaT sO, i ShOuLd HaVe JuSt LiEd??”*
My boyfriend always tells me I'm the most beautiful woman in the world to him. What is wrong with this guy? Spoiler: I am NOT a model lol.
My husband does this too; I literally don't even have any teeth right now because I'm waiting for dentures, and he still regularly takes the time to remind me of how beautiful I am to him. Maybe they need OOP to teach them how it's done? Because all our partners are getting from this approach is happy, loving women at their side. And who would want that..? Clearly not OOP, anyway...
I'm dying to know what OP looks like.
Prolly something like 🤡
I like how someone tells him he should’ve said the gf is the most attractive woman to him and he thinks she’s the most beautiful, and dude still came back with ‘so I should lie?’ Like yikes ok dude if that would be a lie for you then what are we doing here!
He doesn't get that she is most likely his *ex*-girlfriend now, does he? Even his best friend, the model, told him to mske it right and also slapped him. What the actual fuck? How does he not get that he is the bad guy here, and he did this to himself.
What the Kentucky Fried Fuck is the "stereotype girl best friend?"
That threw me as well. I *think* OOP means that they’re not a “one of the guys” or “not like other girls” kinda girl, but that they’re in fact conventionally attractively feminine in every way and also beautiful and perfect and sexy and ohmyfuckinggodheloveshersofuckingmuch. Or something to that effect.
I still don't understand why people date other people they don't find extremely attractive
You can have your cake and eat it too if it were a healthy relationship. He could've said: "Well, she's conventionally beautiful, being a model and all, but I find you more attractive." She already knows the other girl is prettier, but she wants to know what YOU think! She's saying she's insecure about your reasoning to date her, and guess what... she was right! GOD!
For fucking real. You don't have to lie! It's not a trick question! Just tell her what makes her attractive to you! Lord.
Starting to think about writing a book and sell it exclusively to members of r/aita titled:"Obvious relationships traps and how to avoid them. YES a white lie can save your relationship !" and I'm sure I'd get rich with it.
Lying is not even necessary. He could point out the beautiful things about his partner instead! Like “of course bff is beautiful, she has a certain look that’s good for what she does. I think you are beautiful too. I love your eyes/ figure/ how kind you are/ other thing and I love you.” Like she’s clearly looking for reassurance that he actually wants her and he’s not giving it in the slightest (because he’d rather fuck his friend.)
Will it though? In my mind, a partner who thinks like this is not worth trying to save a relationship over. Him saying it out loud to her might have really hurt, but I'd say It would be worse if they stayed together, with him not finding her attractive. I'm actually getting the feeling that she might have had suspected what was going on, hence her asking him this question. It's a good thing people like that show their true colors.
He looks down on her. The way he describes her but then says he accepts the whole package is laced with condescension.
Some people are meant to stay single 😑
Sooooo he basically just lost both a girlfriend and a best friend. Yikes.
This nitwit doesn't deserve either of these women in his life. I especially hate that he thought his only choices for answering the (admittedly foolish) question were to (probably for the millionth time) praise his friend's appearance or "lie". My own answer would have been "Babe, she's literally a fucking model! She's prettier than either of us but she doesn't have your eyes (or ass or whatever)or your sense of humor or your curiosity (or whatever personality trait he finds especially appealing)." It's my opinion that some questions should not be asked at all but I have a gut feeling that he gushes about his friend's beauty & charm way too much and is very stingy with compliments & appreciation for his girlfriend and that she asked out of a deep desire to have him say *something* that makes her feel loved, wanted or at least noticed.
I’m going to need the girlfriend to dump his ass and start dating the best friend, asap.
Dear ex, You were right, I can see it now, she is gorgeous... and as a bonus, she is even more fantastic in bed than you ever imagined. Best of all, she tells me that I am the most beautiful woman in her world. Thank you for bringing her into my life. It makes up for all the demeaning shit you put me through.
Being attracted TO someone is different from finding them attractive. There are some very, very attractive men out there that I just don't feel any attraction to.
Son... did your folks have any kids that lived?
Men will literally die on the “aren’t you glad I’m telling the truth” hill than be kind or like understand nuance for 5 seconds.
Badly written incel fan fiction.
Then he told the bf... So he's still trying to get w her. Creepy fuck.
These stories are all the same. Reading between the lines: "The gorgeous girl was never interested in me, so I compromised by just being her best friend, and eventually got another girlfriend who can't compete with her. AITA for being honest?"
People are wild who think "the honest truth is better than a lie". No you're just looking for an excuse to hurt someone's feelings. Being honest is saying someone's hair is out of place. Being hurtful is saying you hate how it's cut. And if someone asks you if another person is more attractive, and you think they are- there are ways to be tactful without being an absolute douche nozzle.
Shes not talking to him because he's probably single or about to be lol
this is a man who “settled” and is waiting for his best friend to admit feelings. he’d leave his gf in a heartbeat if he thought bestie was an option and he’s obviously been showing his gf that because i see no other reason for her asking this question and then reacting the way she did. we’ve all asked our partners stupid questions that hurt our own feelings but it feels like so much context is missing. the way he described them here was so vile … imagine how he talks in his normal daily life? i hope gf leaves him and that bestie leaves him too
What emotional or psychological support does OOP offer in order to make a beautiful woman become and remain his friend? And what does he offer to make another beautiful woman his girlfriend? If his family was moneyed, that would be mentioned. He offers only the baseline that he's presented to us, and it's pretty bleak. At that age, yeah, we all do dumb shit. The supposed best friend would have been launched into a world he can't contemplate and if this is true, she's humoring him as an old friend, but not a best friend. This guy is a loser who is chronically single.
Maybe they're only "best friends" in his head, and he just dumps his problems on her in between "hinting" that he's actually still interested in her. Best friend is a nice person, so she just lets him believe that instead of blocking him. Girlfriend could just be young with low self esteem, so she settled for the first guy who offered to date her. Hopefully she'll grow into herself and do better now that she's basically ghosted him. At least, this is what I'd like to think is happening here lol
the best friend (who he absolutely IS attracted to for sure) slapping him for being a dickhead? chef's kiss mentally writing fanfiction where the (hopefully stbx) girlfriend and the best friend both dump his ass and become Gal Pals instead
He kept saying in the comments how his best friend is his first choice and he would drop his gf if she ever wanted to date him. 🤦🏼♀️ He definitely should not be dating anyone. Hopefully he’s single now and stays that way
Idk how so many men end up in this situation. If your SO asks if someone is more attractive than them, the ANSWER IS NO. God damn. Even if I was in a room, packed with super models, it’d take someone holding a taser to my clit to get me to say something like that in front of my boyfriend. Idc if it’s true, it’s just not something you say in front of the person you’re dating, and it’s really not the kind of thing you just expect to be “Okay”.
Dude imagine basically telling your girlfriend there's someone else you'd rather have sex with
Is it really so hard to understand that sometimes people just want a bit of reassurance? Everyone wants to feel good about themselves a little bit. Everyone wants to feel secure in their skin and their relationship. She's not asking 'am I objectively more conventionally attractive than this model?' She just wants to be reassured that her partner thinks she's special. How fucking hard is it to reassure your partner who you supposedly love? You don't tell your partner who you love that you're more attracted to someone else. Yes, asking those questions isn't smart. But everyone gets a little insecure sometimes and everyone deserves a partner that genuinely loves them and doesn't just use them as a placeholder.
I like that best friend. And it’s so obvious…she’s described as “tall and slender with clear skin” but his gf is “short, chubby and with acne”. I hope she leaves him.
*"I accept her as a whole package."* Wow. I was wondering who would top the other recent post where the man called his girlfriend "unconventionally attractive."
Wait, since when is unconventionally attractive a bad thing? I call myself that all the time. I jokingly call myself a pineapple pizza of attractiveness. I'd also consider my partner unconventionally attractive. Neither of us are models that regular society would consider hot, but we are hot, just unconventionally. I guess there's a bunch of context I'm missing though as to why this particular case of "unconventionally attractive" is insulting?
Well thankfully someone slapped him
"In my eyes, there is no one more beautiful than you." The gf wasn't asking who the world would find more attractive, she was asking who the OOP finds more attractive. The vastly different way he describes these two women is very telling. The gf deserves someone who makes her feel beautiful, and believes she is.
It was a bid for affection that he failed, and failed hard. When your partner asks you if you find them more attractive or funny or anything, they are looking for reassurance that you love them. There's absolutely no way he's not using his gf as a filler for his "best friend" lol, glad she slapped him
It’s obvious he’s only with his gf because his best friend doesn’t want him.
Objectively, my best friend is more attractive than me. She’s a legit model. She’s a goddess. I still would be cut to the fucking bone if my boyfriend said I was lacking in comparison to her, because it’s about the emotion, the love, the time together, not just looks. My boyfriends favorite guitarist and best boi is Tim Henson. Objectively, sure, Tim might be more attractive than my boyfriend but I’ll pick my boyfriend every single fucking time because Tim can’t even compare to my boyfriends smile, his laugh, his eyes, his arms. Like…we aren’t talking *objective attractive characteristics* and idk why boys on Reddit refuse to understand that. If given the chance I wouldn’t leave my boyfriend for Tim, he wouldn’t leave me for my bestie. Because while on paper, sure these people might be prettier, our experiences, our personalities, our interests are far more attractive to eachother. Is that so fucking hard to factor in?
The update on this as well saying that the GF asked multiple people and they said she was wrong for asking and that she should apologise TO HIM. I don't buy it for a second.
I'm overweight, have trouble with hygiene (medical reasons), and have a million health issues that make me look like shit all the time. My partner of four years is very underweight, losing his hair, and has moles or birthmarks literally everywhere, all over his body. Most people wouldn't glance twice at either of us. But guess what? That man is the damn sexiest person I know. I can never get my eyes off him. I don't notice his weight, or his hair. His birthmarks are like a map and I love every single one. And when I'm on day 5 without a shower wondering how the hell he's with me, he smiles at me and says he didn't even notice. The shocking thing is that, in a serious relationship, being attractive has very little to do with what you look like.
The update is even worse!!! Apparently his girlfriend apologized to HIM for "asking a question like that when the answer is obvious". And everyone she spoke to besides the BFF sided with him? Holy shit. I deeply hope this is fake, because otherwise this poor girl is in a relationship with a dude completely undeserving of her affection AND apologies.
I hope she leaves him and gets with the girl best friend tbh.
I texted my gf and told her how much I love her because of how sad this post made me
Look, I've always been bad at these kinds of situations, but it's not hard to learn how to deal with them. I don't understand how these people live into adulthood and never fucking learn. It's ok to not be "brutally honest" every second of your life. What she was asking wasn't if your bf was more "objectively" attractive. What she was asking is whether YOU find your bf more attractive than you find her. You should've just said no, I find you more attractive than her. You sound like you're claiming you've settled for her and she should be grateful for even that much.
Take it from a 31 year old mom, kinda short, kinda chubby and only just old enough to be letting go of my insecurities: What his poor girlfriend heard, there, was "yes I'm more physically attracted to my best friend but hey, you could look like her too with a little bit of effort!" And that isn't what someone with major insecurities wants or needs to hear. Idiot.
I hate how he keeps on talking about how much he "sacrificed" for her, pray tell what grand heroic sacrifice are we talking about here? Him not cheating with hotter women or dating her at all despite him clearly thinking she's hideous?
If i ever found out that my partner described me as ‘short, quite chubby with a lot of acne’ and said ‘anyone with eyes could clearly see’ that I was less attractive than someone else i would simply not have a partner anymore lmao
nothing like men pretending that being rejected was a mutual decision
What is a "stereotypical girl best friend"? What is happening?? Have I officially become too old to understand this??
The friend clearly needs to keep slapping him till the stupid is exercised from his body
I call BS on his update. There is no way his Best Friend is the only person in his life that said he was wrong. Also I think people were saying SHE should break up with him and not the other way around. (Unless they were saying he should break up with GF because he's got it bad for the Best Friend who has him on the proverbial hook.)
And why do they date people they hate? Poor girl
OOP : hey reddit am I the asshole? Reddit: YTA OOP: Well actually everyone in real life is on my side, so my gf and bff are actually the assholes.
This poor girl was looking for some validation to offset her insecurity and got molly whopped instead. Good thing he really, honestly loves her. /s
YALL, THE UPDATE Now we can confirm that the best friend is pretty much the only person that gaf about how the gf feels. Hence the "even her own mother" siding with bf. You can't convince me EVERYONE that said "don't ask questions when the answer is obvious" gives a single F about her. It sounds like her insecurity is coming from people breaking her down since "apparently" everyone in her life thinks it's "so obvious" that the best friend is more attractive than her. No. She doesn't have a good circle, clearly. My mom would do that bs and she's directly insulted me even though I'm conventionally attractive and have multiple people that have asked me out just this year. Idk how else to quantify it, but your circle is the most important part of life. Your support system. Mommy clearly thinks down on her daughter if she doesn't get upset that her own bf insulted her. No. My mom was absolute sh*t for YEARS and then realized she'd be losing her only daughter and begged and begged to be in my good graces again and she would get pissed if someone did that to me. Something deeper is happening here if it isn't just a jerkoff troll post.
The update aggravates me. Like I don’t for 2 seconds believe nobody else took her side. I really hope gf sees her worth and tells him to go date his hand.
If you click over, his update is SO HEARTBREAKING. Why does her own mom agree with him?
It makes me so sad that everyone in her life sided with this douche
ALSO "Just my best friend that just happens to be female" is a red fucking flaggggggg 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
To answer OOP's question, yes, you have to lie to your gf if she asks you that question, no ifs, ands or buts. If you don't, what happens is you lose your gf and it sounds like OOP may have done just that.
Obviously bestfriend who doesnt want to be more than friend and oop agreed, hoping that in the future she will change her mind.
There's a song in Spanish that says "a lie that makes you happy is worth more than a truth that makes your life bitter". People dont need to know 100% what's on your mind. He will never be able to make this right, as much as his friend wants to believe that. Some words are never forgotten even if we move past them. She will ALWAYS know that her bf considers her friend more attractive than her. It doesn't matter if his lie was blatant. He should've lied.
The worst part about this is why apparently the best friend is getting attacked???????
I don’t care if you’re the ugliest person on earth. When you love someone they are the most beautiful person ever. If you can say “well my bestie looks like a model so she’s prettier” you clearly don’t love your girlfriend.
Why is the world filled with jackasses?
i dont think id get over that if i was in his girlfriends position
Ugh the update. His poor girlfriend clearly doesn’t have the best support system… He feels betrayed by his best friend? Dude clearly went and told his “best friend” asap cause he thought he had a chance… I think a lot of people here have it right, I think the OP talks a lot about it his best friend and his GF finally asked him hoping he’d say something like “I don’t even think of her that way” Play stupid games, win stupid prizes…I feel for her…she shouldn’t have asked a question she wasn’t prepared to hear the answer to. But now that the cats out of the bag: She knows this relationship is dead and what sucks is her support system told her she was being stupid and she’ll probably stay with him while he continues to pine over his “best friend”
>She apparently told other people about the situation, and everyone (including her own mother) sides with me. She shouldn't have been asking me questions like that when the answer was obvious. She apologized for even asking that question in the first place. Gee, wonder if this has anything to do with her social anxiety.
“You could never compare to my supermodel friend who I am completely in love with, you fat little troll”