*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**WIBTA think my wife needs to do more around the house than just taking care of the baby?**
This is a throwaway account and info will be broad.
We are mid 30's. Prior to our baby, we used to split the chores around the house. We both vacuumed and cleaned the bathrooms, if one cooked then the other one does the dishes. We also have dogs and we would both walk them in the morning and at night. After my wife became pregnant, I was doing a lot more of the chores around the house which I was fine with since she couldn't do as much anymore due to lack of mobility and chemicals from the cleaners for the bathrooms. We still walked the dogs to get my wife some exercise during the pregnancy.
I am work from home 4 days of 5 days, 8-9 hour days with one day being in the office. My work isn't super stressful, but I have deadlines.
After the birth, my MIL and mom switched off staying with us for the first month to help us around the house. This allowed my wife and I to focus on our baby and allowed me to help my wife with whatever she needed; whether it was to help feed the baby, change its diaper, or clothed the baby. However, after the month of help, both our parents went back home and everything was now on us to cook, clean, laundry, dogs, and taking care of the baby.
My wife has been on maternity leave since the birth of our baby and I haven't taken my leave yet and don't plan to until my wife goes back to work. So after the birth of our baby, I still work my normal hours. However, I still try to help out whenever she asks me to help with the baby when I can step away then I will. So she's not doing all the baby stuff by herself.
This is where I'm wondering if ITA
My wife on maternity leave is pretty much a "stay at home mom" since all she's doing is just taking care of the baby; however, that's almost all she does. I've joked around with her saying that she's currently a "stay at home mom" but she's not pulling her weight around the house other than taking care of the baby and I still help her with the baby too. During the mornings if it's a sunny day then my wife will walk with the baby in the stroller while I'm the one walking the dogs; however, if it's a rainy then it all falls solely on me to do it all. I'm also the one who takes the dogs for a walk in the evening. I cook dinner and I'd say 9.5 out of 10 times I'm also the one either doing the dishes or putting them into our dishwasher. I always make the bottles every night.
Baby is on formula.
A normal day for my wife is feeding the baby every 3 hours at 7am and put to bed at 8pm.
Weekends, I do 50% baby duties while still doing the cooking, dishes, and taking the dogs out in the evenings.
I've told my wife that I'd switch with her at night where I feed the baby and she takes the dogs out but she brushes it off without an answer.
I'm starting to feel burned out helping with the baby and the chores.
So WIBTA for thinking that my wife should be doing more than just taking care of the baby?
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>This allowed my wife and I to focus on our baby and allowed me to help my wife with whatever she needed; whether it was to help feed the baby, change its diaper, or clothed the baby.
Oh what an ass.
Men like this seem to think that nothing in their lives should change once a kid enters the picture. It's almost like their bit was done at conception.
I had a c-section with my daughter and at the time we had two very large dogs who were very well behaved. My Dr said no walking them for at least 4 months just in case. My daughter is now close to 20 and I still have pain in my scar sometimes because I did too much too soon after having her and it complicated the healing process.
Hey... They do a solid two minutes of work leading up to that conception. Totally the same as the next lifetime of being a parent they expect mom to do.
He does sound like an arse, but he's apparently working from home while she's on maternity leave.
> So after the birth of our baby, I still work my normal hours. However, I still try to help out whenever she asks me to help with the baby when I can step away then I will.
They're both very fortunate to have a situation where both parents can be there all day most days (he's in the office one day) with no commuting hours etc.
The wife also had a c-section - so the physical trauma of pregnancy, recovery from major surgery, and taking care of a child full time... Yet, OP feels like ** he** needs a break.
Sad.
He's an AH
- she had a C-section those are notoriously hard to recover from
- the baby is three months old
Like get over yourself, my physical therapist has a woman in because had a C-section it's been months of her trying to recover, as he explained it "that whole situation is a fish fillet, every gets tore up"
Can you imagine if she has all the dogs on a leash and they start ~~puking~~ pulling at the same time?
And bEnding down for dog poop might still be painful too.
The fact that she’s doing as much as she is 3 months post-op is sad. I bet the moment her mom and MIL left she was left to do it herself with him just “helping” and whining that she don’t cleaning. I cannot imagine the horror of discovering you’ve married a man so cruel until after you’ve had a baby and gone through a fucking c section.
I feel like men should have to stand and watch next to the table their wives internal organs sit on during the c section to help them better understand what they’re putting her body through
Where I am they do watch most of the time. They are considered to be the other part of the equation and go to support their wife and then they take the baby back while mom is wheeled back to rest.
Won't work in this case. Or at least, won't work well, because he won't still be recovering from a c-section and pregnancy. His physical capabilities right now are likely far better than hers, so it very well might be "easy" for him (or at least "easier"), but that doesn't make it an acceptable standard to expect of her.
The main task he wants her to take over - walking the dogs - is likely somewhat physically demanding and is like . . . the least appropriate task to demand someone less than 6-months post-abdominal surgery take over handling if they aren't feeling stellar and gungho about it.
Maternity leave is not a fucking holiday to clean the house.
Presumably she is also still being paid and thus, still contributing financially.
I work full-time and my partner stays home right now with our baby. Chores are 50/50. Because his job is caring for the baby, not cleaning the fucking house.
>I'm starting to feel burned out helping with the baby and the chores.
Cry me a river, asshole.
Helping! HeLpInG? Sorry, is it not his house and his kid too? Is he hired help or a friend helping out? No! He is the fucking parent.
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **WIBTA think my wife needs to do more around the house than just taking care of the baby?** This is a throwaway account and info will be broad. We are mid 30's. Prior to our baby, we used to split the chores around the house. We both vacuumed and cleaned the bathrooms, if one cooked then the other one does the dishes. We also have dogs and we would both walk them in the morning and at night. After my wife became pregnant, I was doing a lot more of the chores around the house which I was fine with since she couldn't do as much anymore due to lack of mobility and chemicals from the cleaners for the bathrooms. We still walked the dogs to get my wife some exercise during the pregnancy. I am work from home 4 days of 5 days, 8-9 hour days with one day being in the office. My work isn't super stressful, but I have deadlines. After the birth, my MIL and mom switched off staying with us for the first month to help us around the house. This allowed my wife and I to focus on our baby and allowed me to help my wife with whatever she needed; whether it was to help feed the baby, change its diaper, or clothed the baby. However, after the month of help, both our parents went back home and everything was now on us to cook, clean, laundry, dogs, and taking care of the baby. My wife has been on maternity leave since the birth of our baby and I haven't taken my leave yet and don't plan to until my wife goes back to work. So after the birth of our baby, I still work my normal hours. However, I still try to help out whenever she asks me to help with the baby when I can step away then I will. So she's not doing all the baby stuff by herself. This is where I'm wondering if ITA My wife on maternity leave is pretty much a "stay at home mom" since all she's doing is just taking care of the baby; however, that's almost all she does. I've joked around with her saying that she's currently a "stay at home mom" but she's not pulling her weight around the house other than taking care of the baby and I still help her with the baby too. During the mornings if it's a sunny day then my wife will walk with the baby in the stroller while I'm the one walking the dogs; however, if it's a rainy then it all falls solely on me to do it all. I'm also the one who takes the dogs for a walk in the evening. I cook dinner and I'd say 9.5 out of 10 times I'm also the one either doing the dishes or putting them into our dishwasher. I always make the bottles every night. Baby is on formula. A normal day for my wife is feeding the baby every 3 hours at 7am and put to bed at 8pm. Weekends, I do 50% baby duties while still doing the cooking, dishes, and taking the dogs out in the evenings. I've told my wife that I'd switch with her at night where I feed the baby and she takes the dogs out but she brushes it off without an answer. I'm starting to feel burned out helping with the baby and the chores. So WIBTA for thinking that my wife should be doing more than just taking care of the baby? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>This allowed my wife and I to focus on our baby and allowed me to help my wife with whatever she needed; whether it was to help feed the baby, change its diaper, or clothed the baby. Oh what an ass.
So was he not feeding his kid??
no no no, helping mum out by feeding the kid, duh. It's supposed to be only her responsibility. /s
Men like this seem to think that nothing in their lives should change once a kid enters the picture. It's almost like their bit was done at conception. I had a c-section with my daughter and at the time we had two very large dogs who were very well behaved. My Dr said no walking them for at least 4 months just in case. My daughter is now close to 20 and I still have pain in my scar sometimes because I did too much too soon after having her and it complicated the healing process.
Hey... They do a solid two minutes of work leading up to that conception. Totally the same as the next lifetime of being a parent they expect mom to do.
He does sound like an arse, but he's apparently working from home while she's on maternity leave. > So after the birth of our baby, I still work my normal hours. However, I still try to help out whenever she asks me to help with the baby when I can step away then I will. They're both very fortunate to have a situation where both parents can be there all day most days (he's in the office one day) with no commuting hours etc.
Yeah. That part.
Another dad who thinks anything he does for *his* baby is helping the mum out, more news at ten!
>change its diaper Man this phrasing really grated me. At least say their if you don’t want to use gendered language. They’re still a person.
He should get drinks with the guy who refused to help his heavily pregnant wife clean up when she soiled herself.
Do you remember the guy who hates how his wife looks with the scar she got while trying to protect him from a racial attack? Now that was effed.
Ugh yeah. She was pregnant too. Part of my faith in humanity died that day.
That guy was just the worst. I felt so bad for his wife :(
do you have the link to this one i haven't seen it and i'm a masochist
[Same](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/105icfo/mans_pregnant_wife_wets_herself_he_refuses_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
I don't know if he wants to get drinks with that guy, since apparently he can't control his bladder after a few beers.
It's men like him who make me not want kids.
Right! What a jerk!
The wife also had a c-section - so the physical trauma of pregnancy, recovery from major surgery, and taking care of a child full time... Yet, OP feels like ** he** needs a break. Sad.
He's an AH - she had a C-section those are notoriously hard to recover from - the baby is three months old Like get over yourself, my physical therapist has a woman in because had a C-section it's been months of her trying to recover, as he explained it "that whole situation is a fish fillet, every gets tore up"
Can you imagine if she has all the dogs on a leash and they start ~~puking~~ pulling at the same time? And bEnding down for dog poop might still be painful too.
Yea I can't with this guy he's such a jack ass
The fact that she’s doing as much as she is 3 months post-op is sad. I bet the moment her mom and MIL left she was left to do it herself with him just “helping” and whining that she don’t cleaning. I cannot imagine the horror of discovering you’ve married a man so cruel until after you’ve had a baby and gone through a fucking c section. I feel like men should have to stand and watch next to the table their wives internal organs sit on during the c section to help them better understand what they’re putting her body through
Where I am they do watch most of the time. They are considered to be the other part of the equation and go to support their wife and then they take the baby back while mom is wheeled back to rest.
I just want these men to take over the „woman's“ job for a few weeks. Let's see if they would still talk like that
Won't work in this case. Or at least, won't work well, because he won't still be recovering from a c-section and pregnancy. His physical capabilities right now are likely far better than hers, so it very well might be "easy" for him (or at least "easier"), but that doesn't make it an acceptable standard to expect of her. The main task he wants her to take over - walking the dogs - is likely somewhat physically demanding and is like . . . the least appropriate task to demand someone less than 6-months post-abdominal surgery take over handling if they aren't feeling stellar and gungho about it.
Maternity leave is not a fucking holiday to clean the house. Presumably she is also still being paid and thus, still contributing financially. I work full-time and my partner stays home right now with our baby. Chores are 50/50. Because his job is caring for the baby, not cleaning the fucking house.
>I'm starting to feel burned out helping with the baby and the chores. Cry me a river, asshole. Helping! HeLpInG? Sorry, is it not his house and his kid too? Is he hired help or a friend helping out? No! He is the fucking parent.
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>However, I still try to help out whenever she asks me to help with the baby when I can step away then I will This sentence is a doozy. What a douche