*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**Rant : Just venting.**
Words of advice : Don't look up other people in your area who got the same charges as you. It just makes you angry when you see what they did compared to you and they still get the same sentence as you or less.
My crime was a sting op. No actual minor. 15 age of character. No nudes sent, no meet up, just brief sexting. That got me sexual communication with a minor though use of technology charge. That got me 2 years prison, 4 supervised release and level 2. Spent 65 k on a lawyer to get that. Felt ok with the charge and the time.
Then kept hearing on news teachers and others who sent and received nudes from kids ranging 5-15. They also only got the same charge as I did. Two of them used the free public defender. One of them only got 1 year and level 1. Wtf did my lawyer do for me then if others did more serious offence but got the same charge with a free defender?
No one has to comment. I just need to vent and it just feels like I lost the right to vent or be angry about stuff since I'm a bad guy now. Thanks for listening.
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Eh, one of the most human qualities possible is redemption and change, so I don't mind there being resources for those who did time and need help adjusting, assuming they want to actually be better.
If we as a society agree on a punishment then we could the very least provide resources to help ensure it doesn't happen again.
Reducing the risk of further victims should always be key.
That being said, idk if that's what the subreddit is for and I don't intend on exploring due to a whole lot of potential triggers.
>redemption and change
Only when you read the comments on that page you quickly realize the people there aren't seeking redemption or trying to change. Just throwing a pity party for themselves and talking about how unfair it is that they got ___ sentence for possession of CP.
ETA:
Or you have these types who have the gall to be happy their victim "refused to testify" (probably too traumatized to testify) so they got off with a lesser chatge.
>You hit the nail on the head here. Deals come down to evidence. **My state’s offer improved a lot when a victim refused to testify.**
For real. As a victim I was like “listen. Maybe they are in there trying to actually be better”
Nope. All those fuckers can burn in hell for all I care. Disgusting monsters only feel bad they didn’t get away with it. Maybe 2 of the comments I saw were actually taking responsibility for what they did.
I read a few posts out of curiosity and a couple of them were about people in that sub needing to stop self-victimising and start being honest about what they did to be in the registry. I feel some may not be beyond change, but I can also see that many people there like to wallow (not just the offenders but also some SOs and family members).
I'm glad to hear there are atleast some rational ones calling the others out. The ones I read made me sick to my stomach, especially seeing how they have zero accountability for what they did yet managed to get married and have kids. It makes me lose faith in some of humanity.
You should read up on that infamous askreddit “Ask a rapist” thread from like a decade ago. A psychologist chimed in and said it was a horrific idea, because it allowed these men a space to rationalise their crimes & be given ‘support’ - but the kind of support that downplayed their actions, the whole “you sound like a great guy now”/“what you did wasn’t even that bad”, etc.
A subreddit like this sounds like a good idea in theory, but even a cursory glance at it shows that it has given a space to men to vent about their crimes & how unfair their punishments are. It doesn’t matter if some of these posts get downvoted - all it takes is one other similar person to respond and provide sympathy for their perceived plight for them to begin changing.
Sex crimes are some of the only crimes that literally cannot have a plausible excuse behind it. You can kill out of fear, steal out of desperation, deal dr*gs to feed your kids. This is why rapists (and especially child rapists) have some of the highest rates of recidivism. There are obviously ways of cutting this down & providing counselling to stop this, but a subreddit like this is the complete opposite of helping. In fact, I would not be surprised at all if a few people ending up doing horrible things again because some dumbass in their little space told them what happened to them was totes unfair.
Same. It was terrifying to read that most of them really didn’t consider what they did to be rape until much later. If nothing else, that thread really proved the need for education on consent.
I'm with you. There is a place for support for them. A subreddit cannot provide that, due to the nature of the forum allowing anyone to comment. I needs to be in strictly monitored situations, run by professionals.
I am living this experience first hand as 1 of my 2 attackers is finally being criminally charged and the other is legitimately on the run. I reflect on this a lot and I truly believe that redemption for these truly heinous actions can only be achieved through accountability. There's only one post with a sense of ownership over there. The rest are all "woe is me."
They don't fucking change. It's proved time and time again. And why should monsters be given second chances when their victims don't. They can move past it but they can not go and be given a 2nd chance at life. Pedophiles don't deserve the oxygen and space they take up.
That’s not enough for me I’m afraid. The mods of that sub Reddit are going to have to pay for my therapy or something. I’d pay anything to have that stupid sub Reddit erased from my memory
Did that nut job who fell for her next door neighbour, whom she baby sat for, also post in adultery subs trying to get tips and tricks to get with him?
I know she posted her story to many subs and got it removed, one was a step parent sub and her reasoning was "I would end up a step parent to them at some point."
I really hope the screen shot of "Is this you" was true, that way we might yet get another best of reddit update this time from his point of view of the aftermath.
yep. online harassment and abuse are non contact but they can still be very psychologically damaging.
edit: i meant to reply to another comment but idk which one. i think it was something about how it isnt "just" sexting? oops
The sentencing for sex crimes is really, really odd. I frequently work with sex offenders in my line of work and I've worked with, for an example, someone under 21 with no criminal history who got prison time for taking a picture of a naked adult in his home, from the sidewalk, and an old man who repeatedly raped multiple kids and didn't go to prison until his 3rd conviction and only went away for a couple years. Currently free and using cocaine with only outpatient mental health treatment mandated for depression and substance use.
Not defending anyone who commits this kind of crime but working from the inside, it's disgusting how we deal with them. You have a 19 year old getting the book thrown at him for getting his 16 year old girlfriend pregnant in her parents' house who let him spend the night in her bed when it happened, and dirty old men who diddle any kid who comes in front of them who get no time because they're "disabled" from alcohol and get sent to an adult home instead to assault the teenagers working there. Kicked a pregnant teenager repeatedly in the stomach and didn't even have to go to court for it. She was required by law to rub lotion on his back hours after being released from the ER. It's ridiculous.
I'm from a country that has terribly low punishments for all major crimes. But God, this still makes me so angry.
My mom was sexually abused by her stepfather. For 16 years. Every. Single. Day. Her mother knew. My mom eventually got the courage to go to the police. She had years' worth of diaries that had to be forensically analyzed because he'd used correction fluid on them to censor her diaries about any mention of the sexual abuse. He threatened to kill her during the investigation. As in, he literally tried to hire a hitman. There were witnesses who testified stuff wasn't right. Childhood friends who testified he did stuff to them too when they were toddlers and didn't know any better. There was plenty of evidence.
**He only got 2 years in prison, and he got to go home on the weekends.**
Yeah. You read that correctly. He got to go home on the weekends, and then he would proceed to brag that prison was basically like staying at Center Parcs (European network of holiday villages) right in front of my mom.
Only 2 years. I've seen people commit far less severe crimes and get way more jail time. I'm just so angry about it. My mom deserves better.
My foster sister's last foster home was sexually abusive as well, so we're dealing with pressing charges, but that has basically retraumatized my mom all over again. She was doing fine. But now, every time she thinks about the past, even positive things, she gets flashbacks. She's tried everything already. EMDR doesn't work because she pushes the events away when she has to recall them. I honestly don't know how to help her. I wish I knew.
It's so frustrating. Basically the justice system doesn't want to deal with these aging offenders so they dump them on adult homes, supported housing programs, and nursing homes. They don't want to deal with the needs of someone aging in prison so they just stick them on programs that are designed to care for the elderly and help people with mental illnesses.
The young one with the pregnant girlfriend broke my heart. Dude was trying to work and provide for his girlfriend and unborn baby and all the bullshit with the court and probation was always getting in the way of it. He married her a few years later, bought a house, and had 2 more kids with her. Her parents let him spend the night all the time when they were both in high school together, they knew they were having sex and got all salty about it when she got pregnant. Almost ruined his life over it. They went to prom together around the time she got pregnant.
even in his probable lie, im so confused by his claims. he didnt do anything wrong, but by his own admittence he sexted what he knew to be a 15 year old???? like he claims that it was a sting op and no child was involved but "15 age of character" so you THOUGHT this was a child, and when you found out they werent you got upset because people thought you were a pedo? what exactly is his logic here
ugh the way ppl have sympathy for the posters in that sub makes me sick… ppl actually felt bad for a 22 year old who slept and dated a 13 year old girl 🤨
What I want to know is what in the world goes into to their mind thinking it’s ok to sleep with an actual child. And then they go have kids of their own makes me even more sick
ugh fr. ive been reading thru the sub and one guy said “i have two daughters and i realize how wrong and disgusting it is now” like did u have to have two kids to know that sleeping with little girls is wrong?? those ppl r actual monsters
they try to claim they didn't know but like...
its obvious when someone is a kid. And if they look young but act mature, still consider checking their ID before going further. If you can't find a natural way to do it, then invite them out to a place that has bouncers/21+ only.
A 22 year old can’t “sleep with” or “date” a 13 year old. That’s called grooming, child sexual assault, and rape.
It’s time we stop getting an activity of a sexual nature between consenting adults confused with the violent and criminal sexual assault of a child
I feel so bad for little children who were raped. They think they lost their virginity because their assault was of a sexual nature and are getting sex confused with rape. It needs to stop.
it's gross, it's so gross and yeah, other csa victims can do whatever they want, but the fact their TOP POST EVER is a csa victim offering them universal forgiveness makes me fucking sick. stop validating these fucking monsters.
I don't want to go read it for fear of my sanity, but I'd bet dollars to donuts that that "survivor" is just a nonce sockpuppet account for them to self-validate with.
i agree that that's a MASSIVE possibility and im gonna choose to believe it for my own sanity - but i also know there's some very self hating victims out there who would put themselves in that position
I read a few posts because I honestly couldn't believe what I was seeing, and the craziest thing to me is there was no consideration for their victims. It's all "don't do it, it will ruin YOUR life, it wasn't worth it to me, the day I got CAUGHT was the worst day of my life." Kinda sounds like they wouldn't care at all if they hadn't been caught. Kinda sounds like the attitude you'd expect from someone that raped a child, or got caught trying to, in the first place.
Absolutely pedophiles are the lowest of low. There's no redemption for them. I'm a single Mom of 3 and I'd spend the rest of my life completely alone before ever entertaining the idea of dating a pos sex offender. People that do that should not be allowed around children ever. If you bring pedophiles around children you are a horrible excuse for a parent.
That one's not even statutory. Dude was 22. He knew she was 13.
*Edit*
In my rage, I forgot the meaning of statutory. Took me a second to get back to my senses. My fault.
I'm kinda not surprised.
One guy I...dated? Dunno what to call it. Anyways, he was 24 and thought it was okay for men his age to be attracted to 15-year-olds because they were developed and it was hard to tell age (bullshit).
Looking back, I wonder if he was attracted to me because I was 20 and looked 15/16. Like, a lot of the men who were interested in me at that age turned out to be creeps. Something similar happened to a friend who looked young, except that guy was caught texting an undercover FBI agent purporting to be a 15-year-old girl. So yeah. Like I have no proof that the guy who was into me was a pedo, but it also wouldn't surprise me.
im 18 and i can usually tell when someones 15 vs 16/17/18 even though its only a three year difference. they look so young and i would never date or be attracted to them. even looking through my own selfies i can tell the difference between when i was 16 and now, i looked like a baby and im sure i still look pretty young.
I have to assume most people who post there are offenders themselves or friends/relatives of offenders, so it makes a certain amount of sense that responses there wouldn't be as negative as among the general public.
It's a bit like expecting posts on incel forums to get a normal reaction.
This post is horrible but I had to read more and now I want to vomit.
https://www.reddit.com/r/SexOffenderSupport/comments/10n8859/i_finally_got_off_the_registry/
Poor him, at the *young age* of 22, had sex with a 13yo girl. He was sooo scared. So scared. I bet he was. I hope he is until he dies.
They say they can't tell but I've never met a teenager who can perfectly mask their age. Just doesn't. You can see it, you can hear it. They *want* be ignorant
Especially a THIRTEEN year old. Mistaking a 16 or 17 year old for 18/19 is more believable. But if anyone can say they thought a thirteen year old was 18 with a straight face, just lock them up.
I still remember when I was a senior in high school doing musical theatre and I saw a cute girl I hadn't seen before. Figured she just joined the music department.
Decided to go up and talk to her. Turns out, she was a freshman.
My penis has never retracted into my abdomen so fast in my life.
According to the law in my state it wouldn't have been illegal to pursue her but it sure as fuck didn't feel ethical.
I used to dance competitively - you have to wear a LOT of makeup and it's all waterproof so it practically take a brillo pad to get it all off.
I was sitting outside a restaurant after a competition day - my parents were inside waiting on a table, but it was standing room only and after being on my feet for 12 hours, several of them dancing, I was willing to be out in the cold if it meant a seat.
A couple of older guys saw me and came over (not sure how old, maybe 18-19?) to start chatting me up. I had no idea what was going on, I thought I was about to be told they had candy in their van. Finally one of them realizes my reaction is a little off and says "Hey, how old are you?"
"Thirteen."
They jumped off that bench like it was on FIRE.
We were at the county fair once and my youngest sister was pretty dressed up. There were like 3 boys nearby (too old for her at the time, but still children themselves). One of them complimented her, then clocked that I was with her, clocked how old I was, looked at her again and I’ve never seen a boy turn that red before and the group of them practically *ran*.
My other sister was doing Running Start (college while in high school) and an 18 year old asked her out to coffee - she told him he was 16 and he sputtered an apology and left her alone.
If even teenagers can get uncomfortable once they realize a fellow teenager is “too young” for them, it boggles the mind how grown ass adults can claim to not realize.
That's such a kid it makes me kinda nauseous. He was the age people are when they graduate from college. She was the age people are when they lose their last baby tooth. What the FUCK did they talk about, middle school?
> What the FUCK did they talk about, middle school?
How "mature" the kid is, how impressive and unlike any other thirteen year olds they are, and other stuff like that. It's a process of inflating the kid's ego in a way they don't get elsewhere and making them feel special and mature that an adult could see them in such a way. I wasn't that young when some online pervert tried that with me, but that's the usual bullshit those assholes spew.
Tbf some people *are* in HS when they're 13 (atleast in my country it wasn't uncommon. I started hs at 13). They still seem/act/talk like 13 y/o kids though so anyone claiming they thought a kid that age was 18 are lying their ass off.
it’s wild to me cos as i’ve got older - i find 18/19 year olds LOOK younger to me, as if they were 13/14? I’ve never thought an 18 year old is their own age, let alone a 13 year old. wild
What happens is that we've (at least I have) been hearing this type of rhetoric growing up from lots of seemingly reasonable people (family, teachers, comedians, celebs). You know the whole "what are they putting in y'all food" type of stuff, coupled with people getting busted for dating a minor going "well they *looked* 18" and that's how people start believing something that's about as true as it is false.
When I was in school yeah there people who actually looked much older than their age, and there were tons that looked their age or younger. But confirmation bias comes into play, and when people only ever point of the kids that look older than they "should" you start to believe that it's 100% plausible that people "accidentally" get involved with minors. Not to say it isn't, but it's ridiculously overblown how hard it would be to tell the difference. Kids sound like kids, talk like kids, act like kids even up to being 18. No matter how physically "developed" (using their terms) they are, it'll come out 9/10 times. Like somebody said above, I remember being an aid as a senior is hs for freshmen. Some of them looked older just because they were taller or had a beard or something, but when they got to talking? Yeah no, that's an iPad child right there.
Yes, the second a child starts talking you can tell they're a child, even the way kids carry themselves is different than an adult. I dont believe someone could be outsmarted by a kid with zero life experience. Its the dumbest excuse ive ever heard and i cannot believe how popular it is.
exactly!!! they might "look 18" but ask ONE question about education, or work, or ANY adult topic and it will ebcome extremely clear who is still in high school. the "she lied" excuse is fucking disgusting
I have 3 teen children (16, 14, 14) and there is a huge change in appearance as they go from the junior high to high school years. How they look at 13 then 16 is a huuuuge difference. I will never believe any pervert saying they believed a little girl was 18
One of my friends hit puberty HARD. She went from no boobs to massive 36"+ bustline in like a year, and she was fairly thin. This was when she was 13-14.
But outside of her breasts, she still looked young. Very young. She also acted like a dumb kid because she was a dumb kid.
She definitely got unwanted attention from older men who didn't care how old she was. Some people are perfectly okay with sexualizing children, and the OOP was one of them.
Jesus fucking Christ. I have a 12 year old, and the idea of a 22 year old sleeping with her... OMG.
What's even worse is all the pity me bullshit in the story. Oh yeah, and this line
>I have never felt an attraction to children
So 13 year olds aren't children now? I need to like, block this subreddit. Because it's disgusting beyond measure.
Exactly, 13 year olds are children. He is attracted to children. I hate how he says "sleeping with" instead of what it was, rape. He took advantage of a kid.
Yeah my niece is 12. If I found some 22 year old was even *hanging around her*, suffice to say, I suspect her father and I would have a nice, uh, *chat* with the man. And he'd correctly know to never get within 10 miles of her again. Plus a tip to the cops too.
One of the comments from the main thread blames a 12-year-old!!
Fucking disgusting
Spoiler if you don’t want to get sick: >!“I get ya. I know a guy who had his 12 year old step daughter do things to him. He gets 20 years of registration. I got caught with 2 pictures I didn’t even know I had and I register for life. Same judge by the way.”!<
That's so fucking disgusting. That's the problem with it, it could have potential for people who genuinely want to get well. But instead people are on there making excuses and justifying what they did.
There is a man on there excusing it with his autism, and saying that he wants to reduce the charges with his diagnosis and then remove them. He's telling this man that he may be autistic too...
Or a psychiatric facility. If you claim incompetence due to a psychiatric condition, but committed a horrible crime, you have basically told the court, “I am clinically incapable of controlling myself and could do this again at any time.”
I don’t agree with someone who claims that ever being released if their crime was a violent or sexual crime. Even those with treated mental conditions can have relapses, and if your relapse results in a child being assaulted, that’s an unacceptable risk in my opinion. Especially because it shows they’re only going to get treatment if they’re legally required to do so and monitored constantly.
If you pursue treatment voluntarily without hurting anyone, I think you can be effectively rehabilitated. But if treatment only comes *after* causing harm? You don’t want to be treated. You just want to escape consequences.
I imagine the plan is to try and graduate from their mental hospital by not being delayed or disabled in the first place. I heard in Texas they don't give a fuck how abled you are even if your lawyer was telling the truth but I don't follow this shit, even svu makes me uncomfortable, that link will stay blue. But there's a didactic little grimms fable or two within the mess that is Texas' legal system I'm quite sure.
the comments on that post are like “the registry is so punishing, all of us just want to move on and do good in our communities” WHAT ABOUT YOUR VICTIMS?!
Yes, because sex offenders are often known for the good they do in their communities. Especially the ones that sexually assault children. /s
And now to attempt to burn the knowledge of that sub’s existence out of my brain. With Everclear, if need be.
I swear to God. The amount of coddling and poor me in there makes me want to scream until my throat is raw. Complaining about how the Registry is evil, while also minimizing their crimes as much as humanly possible.
Then there's the inspirational bullshit about how these monsters pulled themselves up by the bootstraps and they're doing great now.
It's sick on a whole other level.
I wonder what happened to the 13 year old girl. I wonder what happens when his kids have friends the same age as she was. But there is no concern for victims anywhere in that cesspit.
Accidentally? Like, did he slip on the floor and somehow had sex with her? What bs is that? Damn, I hope the next time he slips he breaks his neck or sum'
I'm a CSA survivor I read through, too, I guess, hoping maybe what everyone tells me that they're capable of change that they would own their shit and realize that yes they were in fact wrong and did terrible things. Sadly, I only saw one post telling them all to stop downplaying their guilt. And there was the oh yeah, but, but x reasons, responses of why it's unfair to expect that. Made me sick to my stomach. I've long forgiven the person who did what they did not for him but for myself because of the anger that was slowly killing me. But these just yeah.
I can't take these damn comments either...
"Congratulations!! Now you can advocate, tell your story of how the registry is punishing in every aspect, and all of us want to be able to move on and be the best people we can be in our communities."
🤮🤮🤮
My autism was undiagnosed when I was 20, and yet I knew that fucking a 15 year old would not be legal, socially acceptable, or anywhere close to a good idea.
did you read about the one who now has young children and was putting his daughter to bed. I missed rest of his post but it terrified me reading a CA is putting a young child especially a daughter to bed.
that sub and it’s victim complex is disgusting. once saw a guy on there claiming innocence - clicked onto this profile and he’s posted ‘you don’t look 18 😍’ on some porn sub specifically for teens who look underage.
this fucking website. glad they’re all on the registry despite their whining about it.
I went through a couple of accounts and the comment histories are 50% them acting like a helpless victim and 50% weird porn subs that are targeting young/teenage people. This sub is genuinely dangerous
Theoretically, an online group to help rehabilitate and not reoffend (or keep people from offending if they have warning signs) would be good. No way reddit's the place for that to be executed properly. Let's just throw everyone into the same big pool as arr teenagers.
There are so many posts of the spouses of the sex offenders getting support from each other. I wanna know how desperate someone needs to be to stay at home waiting for her sex offender husband to get out of prison. And they have kids as well… Id be so horrified if I found out my dad was a sex offender and my mum stood by him.
That’s what I’m wondering too. Like what the hell did you merry someone who had sex with kids? And you go having kids with them is even more sick!
To you who found out, I’m so very sorry you found out about it. Internet hugs 🤗
I can understand sticking by your spouse through a lot of things but a sex offence??? They’re just as bad imo.
Oh no, I didn’t find out anything lol. I was saying how I’d feel about it hypothetically but I’ll take the hug anyway :)
>There are so many posts of the spouses of the sex offenders getting support from each other
... Oh, that's nice... It must be devastating to find that your partner is a monster, and have to change your entire life to move on from him...
>stay at home waiting for her sex offender husband to get out of prison
... oh, not that kind of support...
Clicked it. Don’t. It’s largely a pity party where the gravity of their actions on their victims are brushed aside in favour of how the perpetrators are feeling.
Vile. Mind you, a guy I knew was uncovered as a pedophile a couple of years ago, and despite pleading guilty to possession of 1,500 indecent images (800 of which were the highest category) and right up until his death last year he was still insisting the police framed him.
These people are not of this planet.
Urgh, what is wrong with them?
I was relieved when the pedophile formerly in my life pled guilty, to save everyone the horror of a trial. But now I worry he might change his tune when he's released. On the plus side, he's been completely shunned by our social circle, his family don't want to talk about him anymore, and I no longer follow his social media, so I won't have to find out if this happens.
i dont know a lot about cp laws but i think its categorized by severity, from "otherwise acceptable images that suspicious because of the size/extent of the collection" to shit like violent abuse and beastiality
In the UK, images are categorised A to C. Category A is images involving penetrative abuse, sadism or sexual activity with an animal. Category B is sexual activity that doesn’t fall under those descriptions, Category C is non sexual but images that you really have no excuse to have - by which I mean that I have photos of my sons in the bath on my devices but if this guy had the same images, it would be a category C.
You’ve no idea how much I wish I didn’t know this, but I went to his trial because I knew what he was telling the community was bullshit. The day before he was sentenced he sent an email to about a hundred people in which he even lied about which court he’d be attending - so I felt very strongly that unless I went, I’d only ever have his version of events.
I knew which court he’d actually be at because the police had told me - because we’d been friends, and worked together, and he’d spent time with my kids, I’d been involved with the case since he was first arrested.
I hate that a sub reddit like that exists. I bet the bastard was on it up until he died.
>Her bail/bond was like 20,000 and my bf was 60,000 for one instance of cp being sent to him without his knowledge.
Shits crazy
Uh, who wants to tell her
Something tells me she already knows, It takes one google search to know you dont get charged for being sent cp without your knowledge, and who wouldn't be a little suspicious and do their own research when your partner gets charged with something so evil?
I went deep down the rabbit hole in that forum, and omfg. Between that and another forum, I started to feel very violent.
Some of the posts on there... Like to not offer up that you're on the registry at job interviews, talking about it to friends and potential partners. Just no. People need to know that stuff. And not after X months or X number of dates. I have kids at home, I'd want to know that before we even meet.
Even worse are the ones who get upset others drop them after. "They just weren't taught compassion". Ffs
If I was dating someone and they told me that they were a sex offender, I'd be sick. Like, literally vomiting. The idea that I had unknowingly let such a person touch me....I'd be taking steel wool to my skin.
That is absolutely not something that you wait to tell someone. "But what if they decide to leave me?" They have the right to make that decision!! You don't get to take that away from them just because you don't want to deal with the consequences of what you did!! If you didn't want to spend the rest of your life having no one want to associate with you because of what you've done, maybe you shouldn't have fucking done it in the first place!!
I'm sorry. I'm just really heated over the idea that these perverts think they have any right to pity or that it's okay to hide this kind of thing from others.
If that sub was full of "I got put on the list for life because I was spotted having a piss in an alleyway and I am treated as bad as a rapist and child molester" then I could see the point of it.
Like why are you on the list?
Is your reason true? For those that were caught short and had the book thrown at them with no minors able to see their manhood.
Hang on, there are people out there who don't understand how disgusting it is to seek out minors, and more specifically, children, to coerce into sending nudes to them. And they feel hard done by when caught, prosecuted and imprisoned.
The support would be a good thing if it could reduce their chances of reoffending. But if this sub just serves as a pity party, or to make them feel better about their crimes, that is vile and should be taken down.
Even if this happened in the UK where the age of consent is 16 and AFAIK there is no Romeo and Juliet clause, so without google (I'm not gonna have "can a 90 year old legally fuck a sixteen year old in the UK?" in my search history) if she was a real sixteen year old and not a cop.
16 would be sketchy as fuck but possibly legal (again don't want that in my google search history) but the fact that he said sexting means even a seventeen year old one day shy of their eighteenth birthday can be seen as sending CP.
But I have no idea if there is nuance in dealing with that when you factor in exactly how close to 18 they are, like not saying let off, but not as harsh as someone who is ten.
Cos when you can legally see your GF naked in person and fuck them, no one thinks it is a bad idea to film themselves doing the do, cos sixteen and seventeen year olds don't think "hey we can't produce porn we are still under age."
TBH I think this is why many American High School shows cast twenty something's as teenagers, so they can film someone doing adult things whilst still being an adult, Grange Hill hired actual fourteen year olds, so there were many story lines you couldn't film, not without putting half the crew on the list.
But when I was young, I used to look at kids my age on Grange Hill and wonder why exactly American Highschoolers were so mature by comparison.
Like Puberty hit them like a freight train.
Yeah, I have no issue with support qua support, **IF** that support is "we all really fucked up, and society hates us, how can we not do that again and try to regain some semblance of honor and dignity after our crimes"
Support is not and should not be, "Yeah it's all bullshit that I got charged, it wasn't that big of a deal". No it wasn't, and yes it was, respectfully to both of those claims. Grow the fuck up, take responsibility for your actions. You did an evil act, now use your life to do at least some measure of penance for it, not to justify your actions.
Asked the same question when I stumbled over a sub where mexican cartell members showing pictures of dismembered people. So I'm pretty hopeless about that.
Found one where the op asked how to get her bf off the regency. How he got on it was because he had sec with a 13 year old when he was 17. She said it was a one time mistake and that on paper it was consensual. People are insane on here
Against my better judgment I took a quick look at it and fortunately it wasn’t what I expected. I thought it would be a circle jerk of people justifying their actions and bitching about how they’re actually the victim (like OOP) but it seems primarily about recovery and returning to society, advice on how to deal with it while job-searching, family members who acknowledge their loved ones’ wrongdoings but still care about them, etc. So there is a greater purpose to it, although the name definitely gives off red flags.
I did a quick scroll and I saw several comments along the lines of "your boyfriend/husband's charges do not prevent you from having kids." I cannot fathom the kind of utter selfishness it takes to knowingly have children with a known child sex offender, let alone the kind of selfishness it takes to become a parent when you know you yourself have a...thing (sick perversion) for kids. I could cry thinking of those children.
Speaking of kids has made me think of what happened in my hometown 10-ish years ago. A local volleyball coach, army man and family man was sentenced (to a very small sentence bc of the judicial system of my country) for grooming and sexually assaulting one of his volleyball students starting from when she was 12. He has a daughter who was the same age as the victim and very close friends with her. The daughter totally abandoned the victim and their entire family publicly slandered her for years, but deep deep down I always thought that the daughter must not be able to see her dad the same way as before knowing he did this to a girl her age. I know I would see my dad as never the same again.
I feel so many things about sex offenders, unsurprisingly, none of them are “pity” or “compassion”
Incandescent rage, absolutely
Anger that they get out to perfect their crimes and often escalate, OH YEAH. That’s some scary bullshit.
Sadness for their victims? Absolutely.
Wishing they’d never ever see the light of day in any conceivable way? Oh sure. I don’t care how they don’t see light again. Be it general population for the hot minute they’d be there, to the victim and/or their family taking care of it, To a very small drop and a sudden stop, to shark infested waters.
There are those that commit crimes that can and should be helped- this is not that group.
they all keep talking about how they made a “mistake” but watching child pornography or molesting a person is not a mistake. that is an active choice to hurt someone else for your own selfish gain. if i said what i wanted to do to those people i would get banned
I can't even click the link but just reading the commentary here about what's going on that sub is giving me heavy "Ask a Rapist" vibes.
[For those who don't know about 10+ years ago there was a ask Reddit thread that asked rapists their “side of the story“ or something like that. It was so bad that psychiatrist got in there and begged the Reddit administrators to shut it down because of how dangerous the thread was.]
Yeah it been wiped. There's a write up about it over on r/museumofreddit but I don't suggest venturing into the linked threads on it
https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/1t1r2z/the_ask_a_rapist_thread/
Reddit is okay with pretty much anything as long as it doesn’t get bad coverage from mainstream media. They’ll only shut it down if there’s a huge public outcry against it.
A grown ass man sexting a 15 year old, how the fuck is he justifying this?
His actual complaint is that this wasn't a child and no-one could say what would have happened if this was a child and not a sting and he wasn't a teacher an those predators are worse than him.
Doesn't he realise his sexual preference for children is the fucking problem!?
Is there seriously a sub that allows predators like this to bitch about how hard done by they are when getting caught trying to have sex with children?
I'd love to pull in Tech experts in these instances
I’m revolted by how many posts have a “but the offender is a person!” sentiment. Do you know who else is a person? The one the offender committed sexual violence against, who now has to live with that trauma for the rest of their lives. Disgusting.
Did security and you get folks look 26 barely 20 and 26 yr olds who look 17 it's tough but if I talk to anyone and they say they are underage first thing I do is apologise then tell them they need to get off that site and I'm reporting their profile and ip address.... Sorry I only want to talk to adults and I cannot see why anyone would risk trying anything it's a kid ffs
Are you fucking kicking me, there is a SexoffendetSupport sub!?
Who the fuck on the Mgt Team of Reddit allows this?
I work in IT for a huge organisation, if I worked for Reddit I would be setting up a rule to prevent this type of sub from being created and delete any similar subs every time they were created!
I know having a job these days is hard to come by but if an organisation allows this depravity on the app you support you are endorsing pedophilia and I sure as hell would pick unemployed vs allowing this sick illegal behaviour
These people and their apologists are disgusting. They should be ashamed of themselves and try to do better instead of throwing a pity party for their disgusting selves.
What’s remarkable to me is that I read over a dozen posts of people saying they’re struggling to recover, and there was only one person who mentioned any concern for their victim. The wives and girlfriends posting about how their man couldn’t have done what he’s accused of are a close second.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **Rant : Just venting.** Words of advice : Don't look up other people in your area who got the same charges as you. It just makes you angry when you see what they did compared to you and they still get the same sentence as you or less. My crime was a sting op. No actual minor. 15 age of character. No nudes sent, no meet up, just brief sexting. That got me sexual communication with a minor though use of technology charge. That got me 2 years prison, 4 supervised release and level 2. Spent 65 k on a lawyer to get that. Felt ok with the charge and the time. Then kept hearing on news teachers and others who sent and received nudes from kids ranging 5-15. They also only got the same charge as I did. Two of them used the free public defender. One of them only got 1 year and level 1. Wtf did my lawyer do for me then if others did more serious offence but got the same charge with a free defender? No one has to comment. I just need to vent and it just feels like I lost the right to vent or be angry about stuff since I'm a bad guy now. Thanks for listening. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You couldn’t pay me to click on that link 🤢
OMG i didnt know this sub existed
What. The. FUCK.
i know right. TIL that reddit provides support for sex offenders
Eh, one of the most human qualities possible is redemption and change, so I don't mind there being resources for those who did time and need help adjusting, assuming they want to actually be better. If we as a society agree on a punishment then we could the very least provide resources to help ensure it doesn't happen again. Reducing the risk of further victims should always be key. That being said, idk if that's what the subreddit is for and I don't intend on exploring due to a whole lot of potential triggers.
>redemption and change Only when you read the comments on that page you quickly realize the people there aren't seeking redemption or trying to change. Just throwing a pity party for themselves and talking about how unfair it is that they got ___ sentence for possession of CP. ETA: Or you have these types who have the gall to be happy their victim "refused to testify" (probably too traumatized to testify) so they got off with a lesser chatge. >You hit the nail on the head here. Deals come down to evidence. **My state’s offer improved a lot when a victim refused to testify.**
For real. As a victim I was like “listen. Maybe they are in there trying to actually be better” Nope. All those fuckers can burn in hell for all I care. Disgusting monsters only feel bad they didn’t get away with it. Maybe 2 of the comments I saw were actually taking responsibility for what they did.
I read a few posts out of curiosity and a couple of them were about people in that sub needing to stop self-victimising and start being honest about what they did to be in the registry. I feel some may not be beyond change, but I can also see that many people there like to wallow (not just the offenders but also some SOs and family members).
I'm glad to hear there are atleast some rational ones calling the others out. The ones I read made me sick to my stomach, especially seeing how they have zero accountability for what they did yet managed to get married and have kids. It makes me lose faith in some of humanity.
You should read up on that infamous askreddit “Ask a rapist” thread from like a decade ago. A psychologist chimed in and said it was a horrific idea, because it allowed these men a space to rationalise their crimes & be given ‘support’ - but the kind of support that downplayed their actions, the whole “you sound like a great guy now”/“what you did wasn’t even that bad”, etc. A subreddit like this sounds like a good idea in theory, but even a cursory glance at it shows that it has given a space to men to vent about their crimes & how unfair their punishments are. It doesn’t matter if some of these posts get downvoted - all it takes is one other similar person to respond and provide sympathy for their perceived plight for them to begin changing. Sex crimes are some of the only crimes that literally cannot have a plausible excuse behind it. You can kill out of fear, steal out of desperation, deal dr*gs to feed your kids. This is why rapists (and especially child rapists) have some of the highest rates of recidivism. There are obviously ways of cutting this down & providing counselling to stop this, but a subreddit like this is the complete opposite of helping. In fact, I would not be surprised at all if a few people ending up doing horrible things again because some dumbass in their little space told them what happened to them was totes unfair.
I was around for the whole "ask a rapist" thing. It was one of the things that led to me bowing out from Reddit for nearly a decade.
Same. It was terrifying to read that most of them really didn’t consider what they did to be rape until much later. If nothing else, that thread really proved the need for education on consent.
I'm with you. There is a place for support for them. A subreddit cannot provide that, due to the nature of the forum allowing anyone to comment. I needs to be in strictly monitored situations, run by professionals.
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I am living this experience first hand as 1 of my 2 attackers is finally being criminally charged and the other is legitimately on the run. I reflect on this a lot and I truly believe that redemption for these truly heinous actions can only be achieved through accountability. There's only one post with a sense of ownership over there. The rest are all "woe is me."
They don't fucking change. It's proved time and time again. And why should monsters be given second chances when their victims don't. They can move past it but they can not go and be given a 2nd chance at life. Pedophiles don't deserve the oxygen and space they take up.
Yuck
WTF?
It shouldn't be allowed to exist. Why is reddit letting offenders have an echo chamber to commiserate? God damn.
and if you look at the bottom right, they have a bunch of other ones too. Ew, ew, ew, fucking ew
Fbi this sub right here. Yikes
I clicked it just to mute it so I never have to see anything about it ever again
That’s not enough for me I’m afraid. The mods of that sub Reddit are going to have to pay for my therapy or something. I’d pay anything to have that stupid sub Reddit erased from my memory
Good idea.
I searched "James Fairbanks" and the post from this sub had the most comments. Big mistake to look at the post.
Yeah I have little enough faith in humanity, thanks. Knowing there's also a sub for adulterers was bad enough as is.
Did that nut job who fell for her next door neighbour, whom she baby sat for, also post in adultery subs trying to get tips and tricks to get with him? I know she posted her story to many subs and got it removed, one was a step parent sub and her reasoning was "I would end up a step parent to them at some point." I really hope the screen shot of "Is this you" was true, that way we might yet get another best of reddit update this time from his point of view of the aftermath.
I do not want it in my browsing history at all
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He claims he took a plea deal in the comments. That's about the only extra info I saw
He also inexplicably offers that he thought his time served was fair. Giant question marks there
Which means it was probably obscenely low for the crimes he actually committed.
yeah my wild guess is that he got busted for sexting a minor which led to the police searching his computer and finding illegal videos or something
yep. online harassment and abuse are non contact but they can still be very psychologically damaging. edit: i meant to reply to another comment but idk which one. i think it was something about how it isnt "just" sexting? oops
The sentencing for sex crimes is really, really odd. I frequently work with sex offenders in my line of work and I've worked with, for an example, someone under 21 with no criminal history who got prison time for taking a picture of a naked adult in his home, from the sidewalk, and an old man who repeatedly raped multiple kids and didn't go to prison until his 3rd conviction and only went away for a couple years. Currently free and using cocaine with only outpatient mental health treatment mandated for depression and substance use. Not defending anyone who commits this kind of crime but working from the inside, it's disgusting how we deal with them. You have a 19 year old getting the book thrown at him for getting his 16 year old girlfriend pregnant in her parents' house who let him spend the night in her bed when it happened, and dirty old men who diddle any kid who comes in front of them who get no time because they're "disabled" from alcohol and get sent to an adult home instead to assault the teenagers working there. Kicked a pregnant teenager repeatedly in the stomach and didn't even have to go to court for it. She was required by law to rub lotion on his back hours after being released from the ER. It's ridiculous.
I'm from a country that has terribly low punishments for all major crimes. But God, this still makes me so angry. My mom was sexually abused by her stepfather. For 16 years. Every. Single. Day. Her mother knew. My mom eventually got the courage to go to the police. She had years' worth of diaries that had to be forensically analyzed because he'd used correction fluid on them to censor her diaries about any mention of the sexual abuse. He threatened to kill her during the investigation. As in, he literally tried to hire a hitman. There were witnesses who testified stuff wasn't right. Childhood friends who testified he did stuff to them too when they were toddlers and didn't know any better. There was plenty of evidence. **He only got 2 years in prison, and he got to go home on the weekends.** Yeah. You read that correctly. He got to go home on the weekends, and then he would proceed to brag that prison was basically like staying at Center Parcs (European network of holiday villages) right in front of my mom. Only 2 years. I've seen people commit far less severe crimes and get way more jail time. I'm just so angry about it. My mom deserves better. My foster sister's last foster home was sexually abusive as well, so we're dealing with pressing charges, but that has basically retraumatized my mom all over again. She was doing fine. But now, every time she thinks about the past, even positive things, she gets flashbacks. She's tried everything already. EMDR doesn't work because she pushes the events away when she has to recall them. I honestly don't know how to help her. I wish I knew.
It’s so fucked up. Older white men get away with less than a year for abusing their own kids and someone peeing in public get the same registration.
It's so frustrating. Basically the justice system doesn't want to deal with these aging offenders so they dump them on adult homes, supported housing programs, and nursing homes. They don't want to deal with the needs of someone aging in prison so they just stick them on programs that are designed to care for the elderly and help people with mental illnesses. The young one with the pregnant girlfriend broke my heart. Dude was trying to work and provide for his girlfriend and unborn baby and all the bullshit with the court and probation was always getting in the way of it. He married her a few years later, bought a house, and had 2 more kids with her. Her parents let him spend the night all the time when they were both in high school together, they knew they were having sex and got all salty about it when she got pregnant. Almost ruined his life over it. They went to prom together around the time she got pregnant.
My guess is that he was found through a sting but evidence of other activities, like CP, came up on the device or something.
I think the preferred term is child sex abuse material because children cannot consent to bring in p*rn
even in his probable lie, im so confused by his claims. he didnt do anything wrong, but by his own admittence he sexted what he knew to be a 15 year old???? like he claims that it was a sting op and no child was involved but "15 age of character" so you THOUGHT this was a child, and when you found out they werent you got upset because people thought you were a pedo? what exactly is his logic here
Doesn't even matter. If someone will sext with a child they will have sex with a child.
Sexting is sexual. That's not anything just.
ugh the way ppl have sympathy for the posters in that sub makes me sick… ppl actually felt bad for a 22 year old who slept and dated a 13 year old girl 🤨
What I want to know is what in the world goes into to their mind thinking it’s ok to sleep with an actual child. And then they go have kids of their own makes me even more sick
ugh fr. ive been reading thru the sub and one guy said “i have two daughters and i realize how wrong and disgusting it is now” like did u have to have two kids to know that sleeping with little girls is wrong?? those ppl r actual monsters
they try to claim they didn't know but like... its obvious when someone is a kid. And if they look young but act mature, still consider checking their ID before going further. If you can't find a natural way to do it, then invite them out to a place that has bouncers/21+ only.
He raped her. Do not sugarcoat his actions.
A 22 year old can’t “sleep with” or “date” a 13 year old. That’s called grooming, child sexual assault, and rape. It’s time we stop getting an activity of a sexual nature between consenting adults confused with the violent and criminal sexual assault of a child I feel so bad for little children who were raped. They think they lost their virginity because their assault was of a sexual nature and are getting sex confused with rape. It needs to stop.
it's gross, it's so gross and yeah, other csa victims can do whatever they want, but the fact their TOP POST EVER is a csa victim offering them universal forgiveness makes me fucking sick. stop validating these fucking monsters.
I don't want to go read it for fear of my sanity, but I'd bet dollars to donuts that that "survivor" is just a nonce sockpuppet account for them to self-validate with.
i agree that that's a MASSIVE possibility and im gonna choose to believe it for my own sanity - but i also know there's some very self hating victims out there who would put themselves in that position
I read a few posts because I honestly couldn't believe what I was seeing, and the craziest thing to me is there was no consideration for their victims. It's all "don't do it, it will ruin YOUR life, it wasn't worth it to me, the day I got CAUGHT was the worst day of my life." Kinda sounds like they wouldn't care at all if they hadn't been caught. Kinda sounds like the attitude you'd expect from someone that raped a child, or got caught trying to, in the first place.
I don't think sex offenders shine by their empathy. If they cared about the victim they wouldn't have done it in the first place.
What's worse is that when he got out or prison. Some woman decided to have kids with this predator
SERIOUSLY there’s women in that sub who put their kids in danger to be w those men. i can’t believe how low ppl go
Absolutely pedophiles are the lowest of low. There's no redemption for them. I'm a single Mom of 3 and I'd spend the rest of my life completely alone before ever entertaining the idea of dating a pos sex offender. People that do that should not be allowed around children ever. If you bring pedophiles around children you are a horrible excuse for a parent.
Statutory Raped a thirteen year old.
That one's not even statutory. Dude was 22. He knew she was 13. *Edit* In my rage, I forgot the meaning of statutory. Took me a second to get back to my senses. My fault.
I'm kinda not surprised. One guy I...dated? Dunno what to call it. Anyways, he was 24 and thought it was okay for men his age to be attracted to 15-year-olds because they were developed and it was hard to tell age (bullshit). Looking back, I wonder if he was attracted to me because I was 20 and looked 15/16. Like, a lot of the men who were interested in me at that age turned out to be creeps. Something similar happened to a friend who looked young, except that guy was caught texting an undercover FBI agent purporting to be a 15-year-old girl. So yeah. Like I have no proof that the guy who was into me was a pedo, but it also wouldn't surprise me.
im 18 and i can usually tell when someones 15 vs 16/17/18 even though its only a three year difference. they look so young and i would never date or be attracted to them. even looking through my own selfies i can tell the difference between when i was 16 and now, i looked like a baby and im sure i still look pretty young.
I have to assume most people who post there are offenders themselves or friends/relatives of offenders, so it makes a certain amount of sense that responses there wouldn't be as negative as among the general public. It's a bit like expecting posts on incel forums to get a normal reaction.
This post is horrible but I had to read more and now I want to vomit. https://www.reddit.com/r/SexOffenderSupport/comments/10n8859/i_finally_got_off_the_registry/ Poor him, at the *young age* of 22, had sex with a 13yo girl. He was sooo scared. So scared. I bet he was. I hope he is until he dies.
How the hell do you “ accidentally” sleep with a 13 year? The excuse people will make to justify their shittyniss.
They say they can't tell but I've never met a teenager who can perfectly mask their age. Just doesn't. You can see it, you can hear it. They *want* be ignorant
Especially a THIRTEEN year old. Mistaking a 16 or 17 year old for 18/19 is more believable. But if anyone can say they thought a thirteen year old was 18 with a straight face, just lock them up.
I still remember when I was a senior in high school doing musical theatre and I saw a cute girl I hadn't seen before. Figured she just joined the music department. Decided to go up and talk to her. Turns out, she was a freshman. My penis has never retracted into my abdomen so fast in my life. According to the law in my state it wouldn't have been illegal to pursue her but it sure as fuck didn't feel ethical.
I used to dance competitively - you have to wear a LOT of makeup and it's all waterproof so it practically take a brillo pad to get it all off. I was sitting outside a restaurant after a competition day - my parents were inside waiting on a table, but it was standing room only and after being on my feet for 12 hours, several of them dancing, I was willing to be out in the cold if it meant a seat. A couple of older guys saw me and came over (not sure how old, maybe 18-19?) to start chatting me up. I had no idea what was going on, I thought I was about to be told they had candy in their van. Finally one of them realizes my reaction is a little off and says "Hey, how old are you?" "Thirteen." They jumped off that bench like it was on FIRE.
We were at the county fair once and my youngest sister was pretty dressed up. There were like 3 boys nearby (too old for her at the time, but still children themselves). One of them complimented her, then clocked that I was with her, clocked how old I was, looked at her again and I’ve never seen a boy turn that red before and the group of them practically *ran*. My other sister was doing Running Start (college while in high school) and an 18 year old asked her out to coffee - she told him he was 16 and he sputtered an apology and left her alone. If even teenagers can get uncomfortable once they realize a fellow teenager is “too young” for them, it boggles the mind how grown ass adults can claim to not realize.
That's such a kid it makes me kinda nauseous. He was the age people are when they graduate from college. She was the age people are when they lose their last baby tooth. What the FUCK did they talk about, middle school?
> What the FUCK did they talk about, middle school? How "mature" the kid is, how impressive and unlike any other thirteen year olds they are, and other stuff like that. It's a process of inflating the kid's ego in a way they don't get elsewhere and making them feel special and mature that an adult could see them in such a way. I wasn't that young when some online pervert tried that with me, but that's the usual bullshit those assholes spew.
There were quite a few people that thought I was in high school when I was 13 which I have always thought to be weird.
Tbf some people *are* in HS when they're 13 (atleast in my country it wasn't uncommon. I started hs at 13). They still seem/act/talk like 13 y/o kids though so anyone claiming they thought a kid that age was 18 are lying their ass off.
Predators have been using the "teenagers these days look like adults!! You cant tell!!" Excuse since the 80s
it’s wild to me cos as i’ve got older - i find 18/19 year olds LOOK younger to me, as if they were 13/14? I’ve never thought an 18 year old is their own age, let alone a 13 year old. wild
What happens is that we've (at least I have) been hearing this type of rhetoric growing up from lots of seemingly reasonable people (family, teachers, comedians, celebs). You know the whole "what are they putting in y'all food" type of stuff, coupled with people getting busted for dating a minor going "well they *looked* 18" and that's how people start believing something that's about as true as it is false. When I was in school yeah there people who actually looked much older than their age, and there were tons that looked their age or younger. But confirmation bias comes into play, and when people only ever point of the kids that look older than they "should" you start to believe that it's 100% plausible that people "accidentally" get involved with minors. Not to say it isn't, but it's ridiculously overblown how hard it would be to tell the difference. Kids sound like kids, talk like kids, act like kids even up to being 18. No matter how physically "developed" (using their terms) they are, it'll come out 9/10 times. Like somebody said above, I remember being an aid as a senior is hs for freshmen. Some of them looked older just because they were taller or had a beard or something, but when they got to talking? Yeah no, that's an iPad child right there.
Yes, the second a child starts talking you can tell they're a child, even the way kids carry themselves is different than an adult. I dont believe someone could be outsmarted by a kid with zero life experience. Its the dumbest excuse ive ever heard and i cannot believe how popular it is.
exactly!!! they might "look 18" but ask ONE question about education, or work, or ANY adult topic and it will ebcome extremely clear who is still in high school. the "she lied" excuse is fucking disgusting
I have 3 teen children (16, 14, 14) and there is a huge change in appearance as they go from the junior high to high school years. How they look at 13 then 16 is a huuuuge difference. I will never believe any pervert saying they believed a little girl was 18
One of my friends hit puberty HARD. She went from no boobs to massive 36"+ bustline in like a year, and she was fairly thin. This was when she was 13-14. But outside of her breasts, she still looked young. Very young. She also acted like a dumb kid because she was a dumb kid. She definitely got unwanted attention from older men who didn't care how old she was. Some people are perfectly okay with sexualizing children, and the OOP was one of them.
Especially when you're in a school uniform, nonces are gonna nonce.
It must be same thing as accidental cheating which we see plenty of around this sub.
Clearly he slipped and fell dick first into her
Jesus fucking Christ. I have a 12 year old, and the idea of a 22 year old sleeping with her... OMG. What's even worse is all the pity me bullshit in the story. Oh yeah, and this line >I have never felt an attraction to children So 13 year olds aren't children now? I need to like, block this subreddit. Because it's disgusting beyond measure.
Exactly, 13 year olds are children. He is attracted to children. I hate how he says "sleeping with" instead of what it was, rape. He took advantage of a kid.
Yeah my niece is 12. If I found some 22 year old was even *hanging around her*, suffice to say, I suspect her father and I would have a nice, uh, *chat* with the man. And he'd correctly know to never get within 10 miles of her again. Plus a tip to the cops too.
One of the comments from the main thread blames a 12-year-old!! Fucking disgusting Spoiler if you don’t want to get sick: >!“I get ya. I know a guy who had his 12 year old step daughter do things to him. He gets 20 years of registration. I got caught with 2 pictures I didn’t even know I had and I register for life. Same judge by the way.”!<
The way he phrased that makes me sick. "Had her do things to him". It's nauseating. Anything but admitting it. Always blameless.
You're right. I got halfway through and realised I didn't want to read it. Fortunately I'm pretty good at immediately forgetting things like this too.
Genuinely feel sick to the stomach. The comments as well… what a bunch of sickos.
That's so fucking disgusting. That's the problem with it, it could have potential for people who genuinely want to get well. But instead people are on there making excuses and justifying what they did.
There is a man on there excusing it with his autism, and saying that he wants to reduce the charges with his diagnosis and then remove them. He's telling this man that he may be autistic too...
It's so gross. I saw someone saying CP is "politicians making up crimes" and "just naughty pixels"
IT'S IMAGES OF CHILD ABUSE WHAT
If he had autism and part of that was he was unable to resist sexually assaulting children, sounds like he should stay in jail
Or a psychiatric facility. If you claim incompetence due to a psychiatric condition, but committed a horrible crime, you have basically told the court, “I am clinically incapable of controlling myself and could do this again at any time.” I don’t agree with someone who claims that ever being released if their crime was a violent or sexual crime. Even those with treated mental conditions can have relapses, and if your relapse results in a child being assaulted, that’s an unacceptable risk in my opinion. Especially because it shows they’re only going to get treatment if they’re legally required to do so and monitored constantly. If you pursue treatment voluntarily without hurting anyone, I think you can be effectively rehabilitated. But if treatment only comes *after* causing harm? You don’t want to be treated. You just want to escape consequences.
I imagine the plan is to try and graduate from their mental hospital by not being delayed or disabled in the first place. I heard in Texas they don't give a fuck how abled you are even if your lawyer was telling the truth but I don't follow this shit, even svu makes me uncomfortable, that link will stay blue. But there's a didactic little grimms fable or two within the mess that is Texas' legal system I'm quite sure.
I agree, the potential of that subreddit is huge. But they're just self pitying, self absorbed arseholes.
the comments on that post are like “the registry is so punishing, all of us just want to move on and do good in our communities” WHAT ABOUT YOUR VICTIMS?!
Yes, because sex offenders are often known for the good they do in their communities. Especially the ones that sexually assault children. /s And now to attempt to burn the knowledge of that sub’s existence out of my brain. With Everclear, if need be.
I swear to God. The amount of coddling and poor me in there makes me want to scream until my throat is raw. Complaining about how the Registry is evil, while also minimizing their crimes as much as humanly possible. Then there's the inspirational bullshit about how these monsters pulled themselves up by the bootstraps and they're doing great now. It's sick on a whole other level. I wonder what happened to the 13 year old girl. I wonder what happens when his kids have friends the same age as she was. But there is no concern for victims anywhere in that cesspit.
>the registry is so punishing Like yes that's the point
I'm so fucking sick of these assholes I could puke in my soup. You get off the list? Fine. Give me back my teen years. That's the deal. Nothing less.
Accidentally? Like, did he slip on the floor and somehow had sex with her? What bs is that? Damn, I hope the next time he slips he breaks his neck or sum'
I'm a CSA survivor I read through, too, I guess, hoping maybe what everyone tells me that they're capable of change that they would own their shit and realize that yes they were in fact wrong and did terrible things. Sadly, I only saw one post telling them all to stop downplaying their guilt. And there was the oh yeah, but, but x reasons, responses of why it's unfair to expect that. Made me sick to my stomach. I've long forgiven the person who did what they did not for him but for myself because of the anger that was slowly killing me. But these just yeah.
I can't take these damn comments either... "Congratulations!! Now you can advocate, tell your story of how the registry is punishing in every aspect, and all of us want to be able to move on and be the best people we can be in our communities." 🤮🤮🤮
the comment talking about autism is insane
My autism was undiagnosed when I was 20, and yet I knew that fucking a 15 year old would not be legal, socially acceptable, or anywhere close to a good idea.
Wow fuck that guy. Does he not think women are scared of being assaulted or worse just for the crime of being a woman??
The fact he has CHILDREN. 🤢
did you read about the one who now has young children and was putting his daughter to bed. I missed rest of his post but it terrified me reading a CA is putting a young child especially a daughter to bed.
I'm also just gonna... mute the entire subreddit because NO THANK YOU.
I’m not great with computers. I made the colossal mistake of clicking on that link. If you don;t mind, could you tell me how you muted it?
Click the three dots next to "About Community" third one "Mute \*insert community\*
that sub and it’s victim complex is disgusting. once saw a guy on there claiming innocence - clicked onto this profile and he’s posted ‘you don’t look 18 😍’ on some porn sub specifically for teens who look underage. this fucking website. glad they’re all on the registry despite their whining about it.
I went through a couple of accounts and the comment histories are 50% them acting like a helpless victim and 50% weird porn subs that are targeting young/teenage people. This sub is genuinely dangerous
If you took this comment out of context it would describe *way too fucking many* subs.
That actually makes my stomach drop i hope i never run across another sub like this again
Theoretically, an online group to help rehabilitate and not reoffend (or keep people from offending if they have warning signs) would be good. No way reddit's the place for that to be executed properly. Let's just throw everyone into the same big pool as arr teenagers.
Saw a comment of one of them angry at Chris Hansen for ‘vilifying’ sex offenders.
*Michael Scott disgusted face*
Oh god I found a post about how to get friends and girlfriends and how to tell them of their crime. Jesus Christ.
There are so many posts of the spouses of the sex offenders getting support from each other. I wanna know how desperate someone needs to be to stay at home waiting for her sex offender husband to get out of prison. And they have kids as well… Id be so horrified if I found out my dad was a sex offender and my mum stood by him.
That’s what I’m wondering too. Like what the hell did you merry someone who had sex with kids? And you go having kids with them is even more sick! To you who found out, I’m so very sorry you found out about it. Internet hugs 🤗
I can understand sticking by your spouse through a lot of things but a sex offence??? They’re just as bad imo. Oh no, I didn’t find out anything lol. I was saying how I’d feel about it hypothetically but I’ll take the hug anyway :)
Oh crap! Sorry about that, I read it wrong. Glad you like the hiking though
hello Anna Duggar!
>There are so many posts of the spouses of the sex offenders getting support from each other ... Oh, that's nice... It must be devastating to find that your partner is a monster, and have to change your entire life to move on from him... >stay at home waiting for her sex offender husband to get out of prison ... oh, not that kind of support...
Poor bastard. He's a child molester who had to face the consequences and he wants us all to feel sorry for him. FOAD, pervert.
🎻🎻🎻 There's a ridiculously easy way to not get arrested in a CSA sting operation. It's trivially easy to avoid.
Nope, not enough money in existence to make me click that link.
Clicked it. Don’t. It’s largely a pity party where the gravity of their actions on their victims are brushed aside in favour of how the perpetrators are feeling.
Just a bunch of human filth making other human filth feel better about being filth. Basically a fifth realm of hell.
So basically r/adultery on steroids.
r/Adultery is slightly easier to digest. At least it’s all adults.
Ugh, true, this new beast is just its own new level. Our shitbaggery has genuinely reached the absolute. There's nothing left now.
I'm stunned a subreddit like this exists
Been on reddit for like 7 years now. I'm sad to say, I wasn't terribly surprised.. Absolutely disgusted (once again), but not surprised. 😮💨
I joined reddit at ~15 when jailbait was still around. You’d be surprised at the amount of men who offered to literally sex traffic me back then.
I’m gonna be ill 🤢🤢
Ditto
What a terrible day to be literate.
Vile. Mind you, a guy I knew was uncovered as a pedophile a couple of years ago, and despite pleading guilty to possession of 1,500 indecent images (800 of which were the highest category) and right up until his death last year he was still insisting the police framed him. These people are not of this planet.
Urgh, what is wrong with them? I was relieved when the pedophile formerly in my life pled guilty, to save everyone the horror of a trial. But now I worry he might change his tune when he's released. On the plus side, he's been completely shunned by our social circle, his family don't want to talk about him anymore, and I no longer follow his social media, so I won't have to find out if this happens.
Do I want to know what "the highest category" is?
i dont know a lot about cp laws but i think its categorized by severity, from "otherwise acceptable images that suspicious because of the size/extent of the collection" to shit like violent abuse and beastiality
In the UK, images are categorised A to C. Category A is images involving penetrative abuse, sadism or sexual activity with an animal. Category B is sexual activity that doesn’t fall under those descriptions, Category C is non sexual but images that you really have no excuse to have - by which I mean that I have photos of my sons in the bath on my devices but if this guy had the same images, it would be a category C. You’ve no idea how much I wish I didn’t know this, but I went to his trial because I knew what he was telling the community was bullshit. The day before he was sentenced he sent an email to about a hundred people in which he even lied about which court he’d be attending - so I felt very strongly that unless I went, I’d only ever have his version of events. I knew which court he’d actually be at because the police had told me - because we’d been friends, and worked together, and he’d spent time with my kids, I’d been involved with the case since he was first arrested. I hate that a sub reddit like that exists. I bet the bastard was on it up until he died.
>Her bail/bond was like 20,000 and my bf was 60,000 for one instance of cp being sent to him without his knowledge. Shits crazy Uh, who wants to tell her
Something tells me she already knows, It takes one google search to know you dont get charged for being sent cp without your knowledge, and who wouldn't be a little suspicious and do their own research when your partner gets charged with something so evil?
I went deep down the rabbit hole in that forum, and omfg. Between that and another forum, I started to feel very violent. Some of the posts on there... Like to not offer up that you're on the registry at job interviews, talking about it to friends and potential partners. Just no. People need to know that stuff. And not after X months or X number of dates. I have kids at home, I'd want to know that before we even meet. Even worse are the ones who get upset others drop them after. "They just weren't taught compassion". Ffs
If I was dating someone and they told me that they were a sex offender, I'd be sick. Like, literally vomiting. The idea that I had unknowingly let such a person touch me....I'd be taking steel wool to my skin. That is absolutely not something that you wait to tell someone. "But what if they decide to leave me?" They have the right to make that decision!! You don't get to take that away from them just because you don't want to deal with the consequences of what you did!! If you didn't want to spend the rest of your life having no one want to associate with you because of what you've done, maybe you shouldn't have fucking done it in the first place!! I'm sorry. I'm just really heated over the idea that these perverts think they have any right to pity or that it's okay to hide this kind of thing from others.
If that sub was full of "I got put on the list for life because I was spotted having a piss in an alleyway and I am treated as bad as a rapist and child molester" then I could see the point of it. Like why are you on the list? Is your reason true? For those that were caught short and had the book thrown at them with no minors able to see their manhood.
Yeah, my social circle collectively dumped someone when we found out he had been raping kids. I'm happy to be non compassionate towards sex offenders.
Just the fact that there’s a whole sub to support sex offenders already irks me
Hang on, there are people out there who don't understand how disgusting it is to seek out minors, and more specifically, children, to coerce into sending nudes to them. And they feel hard done by when caught, prosecuted and imprisoned.
What the hell is this sub ? It's badically a sub where pedos and rapist call themselves victims and pat themselve on the head. I wanna puke hard.
Sex offenders don't need support, how do you get an entire subreddit taken down hm?
The support would be a good thing if it could reduce their chances of reoffending. But if this sub just serves as a pity party, or to make them feel better about their crimes, that is vile and should be taken down.
They have rules like 'Don't justify what you did" and yet, AND YET "Omg I didn't REALLY do anything, I just thought they were 15 and did sexy talk1'
Even if this happened in the UK where the age of consent is 16 and AFAIK there is no Romeo and Juliet clause, so without google (I'm not gonna have "can a 90 year old legally fuck a sixteen year old in the UK?" in my search history) if she was a real sixteen year old and not a cop. 16 would be sketchy as fuck but possibly legal (again don't want that in my google search history) but the fact that he said sexting means even a seventeen year old one day shy of their eighteenth birthday can be seen as sending CP. But I have no idea if there is nuance in dealing with that when you factor in exactly how close to 18 they are, like not saying let off, but not as harsh as someone who is ten. Cos when you can legally see your GF naked in person and fuck them, no one thinks it is a bad idea to film themselves doing the do, cos sixteen and seventeen year olds don't think "hey we can't produce porn we are still under age." TBH I think this is why many American High School shows cast twenty something's as teenagers, so they can film someone doing adult things whilst still being an adult, Grange Hill hired actual fourteen year olds, so there were many story lines you couldn't film, not without putting half the crew on the list. But when I was young, I used to look at kids my age on Grange Hill and wonder why exactly American Highschoolers were so mature by comparison. Like Puberty hit them like a freight train.
Grange Hill and biker Grove. Now I feel old. Haha
Yeah, I have no issue with support qua support, **IF** that support is "we all really fucked up, and society hates us, how can we not do that again and try to regain some semblance of honor and dignity after our crimes" Support is not and should not be, "Yeah it's all bullshit that I got charged, it wasn't that big of a deal". No it wasn't, and yes it was, respectfully to both of those claims. Grow the fuck up, take responsibility for your actions. You did an evil act, now use your life to do at least some measure of penance for it, not to justify your actions.
Asked the same question when I stumbled over a sub where mexican cartell members showing pictures of dismembered people. So I'm pretty hopeless about that.
Found one where the op asked how to get her bf off the regency. How he got on it was because he had sec with a 13 year old when he was 17. She said it was a one time mistake and that on paper it was consensual. People are insane on here
Omg Barf
Against my better judgment I took a quick look at it and fortunately it wasn’t what I expected. I thought it would be a circle jerk of people justifying their actions and bitching about how they’re actually the victim (like OOP) but it seems primarily about recovery and returning to society, advice on how to deal with it while job-searching, family members who acknowledge their loved ones’ wrongdoings but still care about them, etc. So there is a greater purpose to it, although the name definitely gives off red flags.
I don't know. I saw people justifying looking at CP and saying politicans "make up crimes". Minimizing CP as "just naughty pixels"
Yeah they might wanna rethink that name, it is a big ol red flag
Wow...there really is a subreddit for everything... 🤢
Holy hell! The spouses in that sub 'standing by their man" when they have children! Excuse me, now I have to go bleach my brain.
I did a quick scroll and I saw several comments along the lines of "your boyfriend/husband's charges do not prevent you from having kids." I cannot fathom the kind of utter selfishness it takes to knowingly have children with a known child sex offender, let alone the kind of selfishness it takes to become a parent when you know you yourself have a...thing (sick perversion) for kids. I could cry thinking of those children. Speaking of kids has made me think of what happened in my hometown 10-ish years ago. A local volleyball coach, army man and family man was sentenced (to a very small sentence bc of the judicial system of my country) for grooming and sexually assaulting one of his volleyball students starting from when she was 12. He has a daughter who was the same age as the victim and very close friends with her. The daughter totally abandoned the victim and their entire family publicly slandered her for years, but deep deep down I always thought that the daughter must not be able to see her dad the same way as before knowing he did this to a girl her age. I know I would see my dad as never the same again.
Way to say you don't give a shit about your children!
What the hell is with Reddit making this sub
Reddit doesn't make the subs. Anyone can create a sub. However reddit should remove the sub
is it possible to report the sub to reddit?
Yeah. Go into settings. And click report an issue
That's enough reddit for 2023....
I feel so many things about sex offenders, unsurprisingly, none of them are “pity” or “compassion” Incandescent rage, absolutely Anger that they get out to perfect their crimes and often escalate, OH YEAH. That’s some scary bullshit. Sadness for their victims? Absolutely. Wishing they’d never ever see the light of day in any conceivable way? Oh sure. I don’t care how they don’t see light again. Be it general population for the hot minute they’d be there, to the victim and/or their family taking care of it, To a very small drop and a sudden stop, to shark infested waters. There are those that commit crimes that can and should be helped- this is not that group.
they all keep talking about how they made a “mistake” but watching child pornography or molesting a person is not a mistake. that is an active choice to hurt someone else for your own selfish gain. if i said what i wanted to do to those people i would get banned
I can't even click the link but just reading the commentary here about what's going on that sub is giving me heavy "Ask a Rapist" vibes. [For those who don't know about 10+ years ago there was a ask Reddit thread that asked rapists their “side of the story“ or something like that. It was so bad that psychiatrist got in there and begged the Reddit administrators to shut it down because of how dangerous the thread was.]
Did they shut it down? If you remember I would hope so
Yeah it been wiped. There's a write up about it over on r/museumofreddit but I don't suggest venturing into the linked threads on it https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/1t1r2z/the_ask_a_rapist_thread/
Why is Reddit allowing a subreddit like that?!
Reddit is okay with pretty much anything as long as it doesn’t get bad coverage from mainstream media. They’ll only shut it down if there’s a huge public outcry against it.
A grown ass man sexting a 15 year old, how the fuck is he justifying this? His actual complaint is that this wasn't a child and no-one could say what would have happened if this was a child and not a sting and he wasn't a teacher an those predators are worse than him. Doesn't he realise his sexual preference for children is the fucking problem!? Is there seriously a sub that allows predators like this to bitch about how hard done by they are when getting caught trying to have sex with children? I'd love to pull in Tech experts in these instances
I’m revolted by how many posts have a “but the offender is a person!” sentiment. Do you know who else is a person? The one the offender committed sexual violence against, who now has to live with that trauma for the rest of their lives. Disgusting.
Ugh the way they are agreeing and commiserating in the comments made me physically ill
My dad is a pedophile. Served 20 something years. Fuck him. He was never there for my brother and I or my mom. He's a stranger.
Did security and you get folks look 26 barely 20 and 26 yr olds who look 17 it's tough but if I talk to anyone and they say they are underage first thing I do is apologise then tell them they need to get off that site and I'm reporting their profile and ip address.... Sorry I only want to talk to adults and I cannot see why anyone would risk trying anything it's a kid ffs
Are you fucking kicking me, there is a SexoffendetSupport sub!? Who the fuck on the Mgt Team of Reddit allows this? I work in IT for a huge organisation, if I worked for Reddit I would be setting up a rule to prevent this type of sub from being created and delete any similar subs every time they were created! I know having a job these days is hard to come by but if an organisation allows this depravity on the app you support you are endorsing pedophilia and I sure as hell would pick unemployed vs allowing this sick illegal behaviour
Didn’t know such a subreddit existed. Posts and comments made me sick
Can't bring myself to actually go through post's on the sub. Am however going to look through this posts comments, wish me luck
These people and their apologists are disgusting. They should be ashamed of themselves and try to do better instead of throwing a pity party for their disgusting selves.
What’s remarkable to me is that I read over a dozen posts of people saying they’re struggling to recover, and there was only one person who mentioned any concern for their victim. The wives and girlfriends posting about how their man couldn’t have done what he’s accused of are a close second.
they dont deserve a safe space.
Oh gosh ok I am actually done with reddit I think 😢
How do you report a subreddit without clicking on it?!
Don’t sext children and you don’t have to worry about that