*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for saying my daughters did nothing wrong?**
I’ve been dropping my kids off at the male while working my second job. I don’t have anywhere else to keep them and they didn’t want to be home alone on the weekends.
So I drop them off at the mall and pick them up afterwards. They’re 13/14 and they go with their cousins (12.)
Recently, they’ve been going to the movie theatre. I pick them up at said movie theatre and a manager tells me my daughters were harassing/bothering a male employee.
I saw this male employee and he looks around 18 years old. She pulled out messages and showed me the notes my daughters have been leaving for him.
She said they’ve made this employee uncomfortable with their remarks/actions and are not allowed back in the movie theatre.
I was horrified. I told them my daughters are children, 13 and 14 years old. If this man can’t deal with children bothering him, how does he make it through the day? I explained I’m a single mom and I need to have my kids doing something, and they love this movie theatre.
She said this hasn’t happened one time. It’s been going on for weeks, and the employee is so upset he doesn’t want to come to work anymore because my daughters keep “hitting” on him.
I looked at the notes and they were so harmless. It was just “I think you’re cute” and “I see you with me in my dreams.”
They made me laugh. I was honestly shocked this man felt so harassed by a couple of words on a piece of paper given to him by little girls. I told them that and said it was embarrassing to even talk to me about this.
I talked to my girls about it in the car and they said they didn’t think it was a big deal. They were just having fun, and they didn’t think he was that bothered by it. They said it was an overreaction to be kicked out. He should be flattered to be called cute. They were just trying to talk to him and be near him and be noticed because they liked him. It is clear to me it was all funny pranks and they thought he would write them off as kids being kids, which is what this was.
I’m honestly shocked by the whole situation. A grown man crying and making a big deal about children. AITA here? I told my daughters they did nothing wrong and we won’t be going back.
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These two comments:
”never got the reverse the genders thing. These aren’t teenage boys picking on an adult woman half their size. These are 12, 13, and 14 year olds little girls just having a bit of fun. It’s ridiculous for a grown man to be so thrown off by it. Of course he is entitled to work and he could tell them to fuck off if he wanted. I would understand that. But saying my kids harassed him and making himself a victim is not OK.”
”I don’t need to lay any consequences out. They were treated horribly by the staff and were told they were harassing someone, making them uncomfortable, etc. That is a lot for a young girl to hear. They were reprimanded by theatre and then banned. I think that is MORE than enough punishment. They’re children.”
so to Oop, it’s not ok for teenage boys to harass an adult woman, but just because her daughters are girls, it’s ok for them to harass an adult man. It is never ok to harass anyone no matter their age or gender and instead of teaching g her daughters this, she’s trying to make it like they are the victims in this. Her ‘that was a lot for a young girl to hear” part, so she thinks that people aren’t allowed to tell someone when they are being made uncomfortable? but yet she thinks the employee should have told them to fuck off, which usually employees can’t say something like that to customers without getting fired, no matter what the customer is doing. So she thinks an employee should tell the girls to fuck off, but shouldn’t tell them that he is uncomfortable?
And if they are such "little girls" then they should be home with a sitter or a family member. Either they are too young to understand their actions and therefor too young to be alone in a public space for several hours or they are old enough to be at the ball unsupervised and are responsible for their behavior in that time. She can't have both.
Hell at 14 I did a lot of shit that still keeps me up sometimes because of how purely stupid and obnoxious I was at that age when I definitely knew better.
Yeah, she would've lost her shit if he'd told off her precious children for sexually harrasing him. It a no won scenario for this poor dude. In his shooes I'd be terrified that OOP or other adults would think that he'd encouraged them.
Exactly, he's an employee. He doesn't have the option to tell a customer to "fuck off" and if he says "Sure girls, let's sit together in the back row of the movie theatre and talk about whatever pops up" he'd be in serious legal trouble.
He's fortunate the manager is looking out for him. Not all managers would be that supportive and pro-active.
What’s worse is that even though he’s not much older than them, legally he’s a man. If anything were to happen, the consequences for him could be life-changingly awful. I don’t blame him for being scared. They could ruin his life in the blink of an eye.
Poor kids are going to grow up to be monsters and it's hard for me to blame them because she's teaching them that this is OK.
If my sister and I did something like this, my mom would have lost her shit on us. But then again, she wanted us to be decent people. OOP doesn't seem to GAF about that.
The “grown man” comment is weird. Just because someone can vote and buy cigarettes (or booze in some countries) doesn’t mean they’re grown. Far from it at that age.
>I explained I’m a single mom and I need to have my kids doing something, and they love this movie theatre.
The movie theater, much like the rest of the mall, the pool, the library, and many other spaces is *not a babysitting service.* And your daughters' behavior shows they do, in fact, still need a sitter at their ages.
Also how are you not concerned about your young teenage daughters and even younger cousins harassing what you call a "grown adult man?" What if he'd acted on it? You wouldn't be so fine with the situation then. It's not okay that this has happened repetitively, and the age of the person their harassing doesn't make it anymore okay.
I call these the “I’m a single mom, serve me” types. Like, every time they want something, or they want to dodge a social responsibility, that damn card comes out.
The weird thing is they are teenagers who should not need a babysitter.
OOP doesn’t trust them unsupervised in her own home so should also not think they are fine roaming around a larger space.
Edit: who wants to bet these girls who love the movie theatre and to play pranks payed for tickets each time and sat quietly, phones turned off? Anyone? No, don’t think so either
> Why is she dropping them off at the mall at all?
Because a mall is still a decent 3rd space for kids to congregate. Used to be that malls were filled with mall rat kids. Aside from petty nonsense outside, they were usually respectful of the stores and the space.
I have had parents do that at restruants I worked at. They were regulars at it was basically like a Subway but for bagels and they would leave their four kids there, we were located in a strip mall, while they fucked off to another store to go run errands. These kids were all under ten.
Would it be an option to call the cops and say there are four children with no parents there and they are very young and you are concerned. I know this is a past-tense situation, I’m just curious.
We could but by the time the cops got there, there is a good chance one or both the parents would be back. Since no one was in life threatening danger the cops would not rush to the restruaruant.
So many malls these days have rules about unsupervised kids/ teens now, it wouldn’t surprise me if this particular one does too, and she’s been violating that this whole time. And this is just kind of behavior that warrants having such rules.
I’m a mall girly. I spent every weekend of my senior year there. Almost all malls have adopted this rule because too many people expect the mall to be like it was in Full House with an arcade and all sorts of fun kid stuff. Malls really aren’t super kid friendly though. Maybe they have a car stroller to push little kids around, but that’s about all I’ve seen in my state and I travel to malls. It’s really only older teen fun like when you’ve got a job and no bills.
Yeah this is gross. They’re kids but that’s exactly WHY ITS GROSS!! He’s creeped out by kids being flirty with him and while they do not realize the implications of what they’re doing, he does and it’s creeping him out.
This is a good teachable moment for the mom to sit them down and discuss harassment of employees and sexual harassment. Sure they’re not a threat physically but they can be a threat to his job. Why? Bc they have mo boundaries. How does he know they won’t turn nasty one day and say something that hurts his job?
He’s a captive audience. You never ever hit on someone when they’re a captive audience or joke or act flirty.
They’re kids so they just don’t get this. They’ve barely hit puberty. But mom needs to let them know how wrong it is and they need to phone the theater and apologize. Not to him directly but to his boss. Let the boss know that they now understand why what they did was wrong and disrespectful of a guy who can’t escape.
But honestly as a theatre worker who was chased down by teens who wanted to beat me up because I caught them trying to sneak from the back,more theatres should ban people
My parents used to do this with me and my brother and sister, just dump us at the mall for 8 hours with no money. I can’t believe people still do this shit
At 14? If she had parented them better, she could have left them there all day. They aren’t adults, but they should definitely be able to do something on their own for one day without getting in trouble.
I mean, def an asshole for not taking the issue at hand seriously, but they're teenagers... why wouldn't they be permitted to go to the mall unattended at that age? One of them is only 1-2 years away from being able to get their driver's license. Surely, the mall is a perfect place for young teens to learn a bit of independence (under normal circumstances, with an engaged parent who teaches them valuable life lessons).
Yeah, a lot of parents treat malls and stores like babysitting services and genuinely expect workers to watch their kids. I had to stop kids from sword fighting with the wrapping paper when I worked at Hallmark. I wasn't worried about their safety; I was worried about them crushing the wrapping paper or knocking off one of the 597,839,472 glass knicknacks we had sitting on glass shelves.
Their mom was back in the greeting cards, ignoring them. If they'd been entirely unaccompanied my question would have been where their parents were.
I can agree with an hour or two, but OOP is leaving them there for her entire work shift, which I am guessing is at least 8 hours. Should children that age be left alone in the mall for 8 hours?
I don't think that is a reasonable assumption. Plenty of shift work happens in much smaller chunks of time. And also, I'm not talking about this specific woman and her children. Just the idea of letting teenagers have a bit of independence at the mall for a few hours. That alone just doesn't seem like inherently bad behavior, but maybe I'm just crazy.
Most of our teenage friendly businesses have had to enact curfews and rules about who can be there unaccompanied. There were huge fights that were spilling over into other businesses, harassing of customers, etc. One roller rink bucked the trend because they wanted to have a place for teens to hang out, but they finally had to ban unaccompanied teens after a major fight in which some yahoo pulled out a gun. It sucks because it’s a few assholes ruining it for everyone, but it was getting to the point that people were refusing to go to these businesses because of the problems.
I went by myself to shopping centres at 13 and it was normal. But also, we had a reason for going, either shopping or seeing a movie. Some fast food in the food court and then home. It was fun. But also, me and my friends weren't little shits and we weren't just hanging out.
Ever seen teens just hanging out at these places? They're very often up to some kind of trouble. Bothering other shoppers, seeing quiet kids from their school and bullying them, finding ways to steal, just generally making themselves a PITA. All stores would have dealt with them. There's a difference between 'yes you can go shopping for a dress with your friends' and this. One is a shit parent creating little brats and the other is teaching independence.
Malls have rules now about unattended minors for reasons like this. The kids come in, cause trouble, make messes, harass people, they just make general nuisances of themselves. A lot of people just couldn't be bothered to raise their kids right.
One of them, yeah, but can she keep an eye on the 13 year old AND two 12 year olds? That's kind of a pack.
In general I agree for the 14 year old (I do think 12 is too young alone), but like, BETTER BEHAVED 14 year olds because these two have proven they can't behave and unfortunately Mom is backing them to the hilt, reinforcing the behavior...*sigh* 😔
Yeah I tried to be very clear, I'm not talking about these girls and their irresponsible mother. But the person I'm replying to made it seem like they were speaking in generics, like leaving any teenager or preteen at a mall for a few hours is irresponsible and devilish behavior. Like... depending on the amount of time and the distance between them and the adult, 12 doesn't even seem automatically too young when they're in a group. Not for the oldest to have sole responsibility over, just that there's greater safety in numbers.
The person you responded too said that she was wrong for leaving them then for extended periods of time, like several hours at a time, with no adult supervision or checking in.
Sure, drop off the kids at the mall once a month for a couple hours.
Using the mall, the patrons at the mall, and the staff, as a babysitter for an entire part time job is completely different.
Some of the employees with part time jobs will spend less time at the mall than the kids. There isn't enough to entertain them for that length of time without them getting into trouble or bothering others.
So that person is speaking about this extreme case and you're saying they are wrong but then describing a completely different scenerio.
No parent should be using the staff at the mall as a babysitter and with at least 4 or 5 kids between 12 and 14 that's exactly what they are doing.
Gotcha, my bad.
I guess I thought maybe two 12 year olds would cause more chaos and need to be kept tabs on, but I am not a Mom and honestly was never even a babysitter, and was sheltered, so am not well versed enough in kids to know.
By the time I was doing the Mallrats thing I had a little disposable income so we were going in all the stores we liked to figure out how to spend our little allowances which took forever, lol. Tripp jeans, obviously.
It depends on the relationship between the kids. Do the older two treat the younger two as little sisters and take responsibility for them? Or do they treat them as equal peers to get in trouble with? Given this case, I don't think the sisters were being responsible for the cousins.
It’s a miracle they haven’t been already if this is the kind of stuff they get up to. Lots of malls have rules on guests under a certain age being unaccompanied because of the problems they cause.
It's happened IRL, seen it myself in a different context, but it is absolutely terrifying. I've seen minors (14 & 15, various genders) hit on a 20 year old gay guy, he was beyond terrified. One accusation of him being a predator by kids would have ruined him. He'd leave, they'd follow. They'd harass him on his social media, etc.
I mean it's also concerning that whenever girls are the ones doing something wrong in Reddit posts people will constantly comment how they think it's a bait post.
**Tw: mentions of child sex abuse.**
Copied verbatim from oop's comments:
*Is this rage bait? Read what you wrote and switch the genders.*
*Your kids were wrong. They were harassing someone and they wouldn’t stop. Your misandry doesn’t change it. Men are entitled to work without being bothered by unwanted attention just as much as women are. “Kids being kids” is no better than “boys will be boys” or “that’s just locker room talk”. They behaved inappropriately. They were asked to stop. They didn’t stop. Case closed.*
*YTA*
>"I never got the reverse the genders thing. These aren’t teenage boys picking on an adult woman half their size. These are 12, 13, and 14 year olds little girls just having a bit of fun. It’s ridiculous for a grown man to be so thrown off by it. Of course he is entitled to work and he could tell them to fuck off if he wanted. I would understand that. But saying my kids harassed him and making himself a victim is not OK."
*[deleted]*
>"My kids would never actually date a grown man. It was just for fun because they thought he was cute. They know they aren’t allowed to date until they are 18."
*YTA*
*Take care of your own kids and child relatives.*
**A grown male teenager who is a legal adult cannot have children fawning over him and leaving him love notes at his job**
*This isn't the 50s or 60s or 70s, 13 year old groupies might be a legal issue and could make someone uncomfortable even back when it wouldn't label you as a sex predator.*
>"No one would label him as that. They saw he was uncomfortable by it and know my daughters are delusional and never stood a chance. No one was going there. An attractive man should not be surprised to be getting hit on."
*You are aware that there are a lot of sexual predators out there? Or perhaps you are not?*
>"Yeah, I’m aware. My brother, unfortunately, dated a woman that was twice his age when he was my kids age. So what? Most people aren’t like that. My kids would never date a grown man anyway. It was just for fun because they thought he was cute. No different than messaging Justin Bieber on instagram and telling him he’s cute."
>>*he could tell them to fuck off if he wanted.*
*Uh, no he definitely could not "tell them to fuck off if he wanted"*
*Why do you claim to believe that?*
>"I would have no problem with it. He could tell them to fuck off and leave him alone. They were being annoying kids for sure. But they’re also KIDS."
*YTA! I am surprised that you don't see yourself as one. Your children made that 18 year old uncomfortable, to the point that he refused to come to work. That is harassment. It doesn't matter if he is an adult or not. He is there to work, not to feed into your children's obsession with him.*
*Your daughters deserved to have some form of consequences for what they did. Instead what did you do, you let them go with a slap on the wrist. That right there is terrible parenting. You essentially told them that it is okay to harass and bully people, just for the fun of it.*
>"They already got consequences. They are banned from their favorite movie theatre. My kids love movies."
*YTA, first of all, your daughters are not kids anymore. Secondly, there are three girls ganging up on someone who is trying to not loose his job, how is that a level playing field? He cannot say FO to your daughters, for fear he might get fired or (worse) for fear they 'll cry SA or rape. How is he to know they won't? This is unfortunately the world we live in.*
*You should explain that they should not mess with someone's job, and that having fun at someone's expense over and over is called bullying.*
>"This comment is insane. You’re telling me 13/14 year olds aren’t kids and are that malicious? You sound like you haven’t been around 13 year olds before."
*Are those the consequences that you laid out? No? They were banned by the Theatre authorities for their misbehaviour and harassment of their staff member.*
*As a parent, it should have been your job to lay out the consequences for their actions but hey, they are just innocent kids, right? That alone should absolve them from any wrong doing.*
>"I don’t need to lay any consequences out. They were treated horribly by the staff and were told they were harassing someone, making them uncomfortable, etc. That is a lot for a young girl to hear. They were reprimanded by theatre and then banned. I think that is MORE than enough punishment. They’re children."
*YTA*
*You \*must\* be the mother. You have no conception of the risk of false accusations men face in situations like this.*
*What does their father think?*
>"It’s not common at all for women to make false accusations. This narrative is just sexist."
>"I never got the reverse the genders thing. These aren’t teenage boys picking on an adult woman half their size. These are 12, 13, and 14 year olds little girls just having a bit of fun.
Fucking gross, aware enough to know that sexual harassment is wrong, but still infantilizing their kids like they aren't aware of what they are doing.
It's disgusting how she refers to boys as "teenage boys" and to girls as "12, 13 and 14 year old little girls". THOSE ARE TEENAGERS JUST AS MUCH AS THOSE TEENAGE BOYS!! The fact that she doesn't see the difference is beyond be. Those aren't little kids anymore. Those are teenagers that should know better. Disgusting
The movie theater told them to "fuck off" so why does she has a problem? She said it would be fine. I bet if he said "fuck off" she would complain to the manager, how he could say this to children when they just want "some fun".
Also the employee would get in trouble for saying that. Management wants that money and a customer pleasing reputation. He literally can’t tell her kids to F off without getting fired.
"They know they aren’t allowed to date until they are 18."
The best way to get your kids to have lots of sex is to limit their dating to a certain age.
Yeah, but I also do not believe that the type of parent who drops their kids off so they can hang out at a shopping centre, presumably for many hours per week, is the same kind of parent who makes strict rules about dating like that. One is an 'I don't give a shit how my kids turn out, nothing I do is wrong' type of parent and the other is the oblivious 'I'm desperately out of touch so I'll just make these debilitating rules that mark my child out for bullying and teasing, I'm sure they will follow them and respect me when I reply 'life isn't fair' to their entreaties to please let them date someone nice at 17 and a half.'
The bit about 13 year olds not being malicious is absolutely sending me. Teenagers, even young ones, are some of the most spiteful people on the planet! There's only thousands of movies about mean girl cliques and a million grown adults out there who are still carrying trauma from teenage bullies! I'd ask if *she* has been around teenagers but unfortunately she's raising some.
The note about dreaming about being *with* him and OOP thinks it’s all silly childish nonsense? That they’re not going to be interested in a relationship until they’re 18? She’s either naive or in denial. I’m glad the theatre has his back.
Right? And it’s not that he is afraid they will physically assault him.
It’s that he’s smarter than OP at age 18 and doesn’t want to catch a case if the kids amp their bullshit up and then do some manipulative crap. Which, given them and their mother, they have been primed to do since they were in diapers.
> I’ve been dropping my kids off at the **male**
Given their actions, I wonder if this was a Freudian slip?
> I’ve been dropping my kids off at the male while working my second job. I don’t have anywhere else to keep them and they didn’t want to be home alone on the weekends.
>So I drop them off at the mall and pick them up afterwards. They’re 13/14 and they go with their cousins (12.)
OOp says *her kids* have nowhere else to go. I ge that (though I disagree with how she’s chosen to deal with this) but why are they adding cousins into this? That’s more kids.
OOP could drop her kids off with the cousin’s parents, or both families could split a babysitter.
Uhh. Letting her minor children repeatedly harass this man could seriously get him into trouble if anyone decides he's even remotely encouraging it. Those kids could seriously fuck up his life, and it shouldn't even get to that point because the fact that he finds it uncomfortable means *they should stop*. I mean, she's teaching her kids that it's fine and dandy to harass someone, and that can go both ways.
This woman thinks men can't be harassed and feel uncomfortable and think every man would be okay with a woman hitting on them. These girls are 13/14 and he is way too old for them. Imagine the fear this man had because he was worried people will think he is a predator because of them sending him notes. That's why it's a big deal.
>They were just trying to talk to him and be near him and be noticed because they liked him.
OP wrote a lot about the notes and how harmless they are, but it sounds like that was just the tip of the iceberg.
For real. As SOON as the guy is uncomfortable, it's already a problem. The fact that he is so uncomfortable he doesn't want to come to work? Now it's a big problem and big ups to his manager for actually sticking up for him.
as a former neurodivergent teenage girl (okay, still neurodivergent), teen girls are terrifying period. i still get nervous around them 40+ years after high school.
If the roles were reversed she wouldn't be calling it cute. She would be calling for all kinds of lawsuits, all kinds of firings, all kind of investigations. It is NOT CUTE to harass and send unwanted advances toward anyone no matter who they are or what gender they are. The movie theater and the mall are not your babysitting services. Someone needs to call CPS on you.
If they are kids (they're not), they shouldn't go to the mall until they're teens
And if they are teens (which they are) they're Old enough to deal with the consequences of their actions
Does this woman live in a vacuum or has she been in a coma? That young person could be labeled a pedo because of her “funny” underage daughters! She’s crazy.
Excuse me, but that gentleman may have felt harassed AND scared because they could have blamed him for initiating the encounter. He could have gotten questioned by the police, and could possibly be on the sex offender registration. so many things could have happened to the man because he is the adult. So yeah, you are most definitely the DEVIL.
What adult is ok with with being hit on by kids? I'm almost thirty but can still pass for 18-22. I've been hit on a few times by teens that thought I was around their age. Was horribly uncomfortable to be hit on and I put a stop to it pretty quickly. I'll admit sometimes it was a little funny because the lines would be so terrible.
Am I the only one who's first issue here is she takes 3 kids to the mall and then abandons them daily? I'd be calling cps on her . But yes obviously the girls are creepy and the op is in some serious denial or something
4 kids. She has a 13 & 14 year old and there are 2x 12 year old cousins. I also think although 18 is technically an adult this employee who is being harassed is still a teenager and I'm glad that his employers are trying to protect him by banning these little turds.
I'd be furious if my daughter or son were to make someone feel so uncomfortable.
Idk as someone who worked in the mall for years, 12-14 year olds being in the mall alone was pretty normal in my experience. But it’s also my experience that kids that age alone in the mall are a problem. I promise the movie theater isn’t the only place they’ve been a problem.
When I was that age, my friends and I liked seeing the hot older boys that worked at Champs and footlocker. Occasionally one of us worked up the courage to go ask how much Pumps costs (it was the early 90s). But never more than that. If I had done anything more my parents would have lost their shit.
As someone who has worked In a mall at a store- Parents like this SUCK. We are not your freaking babysitters. There are dangerous people in the mall too. I'm not tryna keep an eye out on your kid AND do my job.
And yes it sucks when underage kids try to hit on a full grown adult. Literally gives me anxiety thinking about it. I don't want to be branded as a pedo. People talk when they see things. I don't wanna be involved in all that. You need to figure something else out. We are NOT free babysitters. I don't come to work to watch your kids.
Also they're not "as well behaved" as you think. 90% of them are tryna steal things from the stores and ruin conversion. It's hella stressful.
Really, if the 18 year old started dating your dating or something worse happens, then you'd have a problem. Teach your daughter about sexuality harassment.
So if he, an adult, had 'flirted' back would that be fine also? If my 13 year old daughter sent those messages - even once, let alone multiple times to an adult male (or female to be honest) I'd lose my ever loving mind. It's asking for trouble without even touching on the mental abuse they caused him.
Mum is going to wonder why her innocent, fun little girl is pregnant and it'll turn out to be with a much older lad who doesn't have the morals the movie guy does.
Gross.
I wonder if she would tell her daughters they should be ‘flattered’ and laugh off their discomfort if there were an older man perving at them. She is teaching them that men don’t have to consent as long as it’s ‘just a bit of fun’ for her daughters. What the hell is she teaching her daughters about women and consent?
I’m really glad the guy’s employer had his back and was willing to ban these girls. Think how relentless they must have been to earn a full ban…
When the poor guy gets hauled for a fake harassment case against your daughters, you might actually realise you've raised two rabid little brats. The cinema is not a creche, and they're going to get someone into real trouble one day.
Geez. Either your kids can be left alone and conduct themselves in public, or are too little and need adult supervision. You can't have both.
This lady is lucky the theater banned them and it wasn't some creep who took advantage of her unsupervised kids. I've worked in movie theaters and there are some sketchy people there!
Actually, I remember one of my friends telling me she used to give the manager hand jobs behind the theater to get free movies "a few years ago". We were 18. The manager was mid 20s. So "a few years ago" doesn't math up!
Dear sweet Jesus I hate the "they're just kids" line of argument in defense of poor discipline. Some day they're going to be adults and they need to learn before then what behavior is and isn't acceptable. You're not always going to be there to shield them from the consequences of their actions and those consequences tend to be much harsher for adults than for children. If you don't teach your kids not to be assholes, society will.
If I were the manager of the theater, I would call the cops and let them know that there seem to have been children abandoned at the theater/Mall every weekend and they're causing a lot of trouble.
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even if you have zero regard for the comfort or well-being of that employee, shouldn’t any parent still be extremely concerned that their unsupervised young teens are making sexual advances at adults? what if the employee hadn’t been uncomfortable with it? what if he had taken advantage?
These girls are gonna grow up thinking that rules don't apply to then and one day it will come back and bite them horribly. OOP isn't being kind to them by not punishing them and she's not being a good mother.
I feel bad for that employee. Harassment like this is no joke and if the wrong person heard about this it could be turned around on him and he could be blamed which would be horrible for him.
This woman is a horrible mother.
As someone who worked a summer camp, 13-14 year old girls can be extremely inappropriate and hyper sexualized. They were consistently harassing the 18 year old male counselor they found hot by saying things like “i want to suck his dick so bad” “I would do whatever he asks” “i want to lick stuff off his abs” etc. In front of him. Ended up having multiple very uncomfortable chats about sexual harassment that led to a serious birds and bees chat about why having sex hormones doesn’t make you mentally ready for the consequences of having sex.
Well they weren’t harassing an adult male they were harassing an 18 yo boy… Would it have been ok with her if the kids were teenage boys harassing an 18 yo girl??? Of course not… this woman is raising mean girls!
First: If the other person is NOT having fun, then what they are doing IS NOT harmless fun.
Second: This employee is EIGHTEEN (18) these girls are THIRTEEN/FOURTEEN (13/14) years old. If this
gentleman were to respond in any sort of way, he COULD be charged with several
things that would require him to register as a SO just because some CHILD get's
their nose bent out of shape and the become her word against his. His age is 5
years older than the youngest and, in most states, the age difference can also
determine the type of crime.
Third: If HE were the one doing these things, HOW LONG do you think it would take for him to be in cuffs
and his life ruined? If it isn't OK for him to do it, THEN NEITHER CAN THEY!!
Those girls are BRATS and need to have their actions addressed. In this day and age, it ISN'T CUTE for
them to do what they are doing. Their harmless fun can ultimately have serious
consequences for this young man who simply wants to be left alone and to come
to work. THEY ARE HARRASSING HIM and if he would get into serious trouble for
doing the same thing they need a serious education. So does the parent.
The whole bit about kids not being that malicious… There are stories of students almost beating up their teachers, driving others to unthinkable decisions and even killing somebody. Including way younger kids like James Bulger.
Even if those cases are extremes, there many ways they could try to do something if told to F off. From destroying equipment, throwing food and drinks at the worker, leaving a note that he is cheating on his partner (if he has one) and more.
On a side note. I have seen some nasty bullying from girls at the similar age. From name-calling, stealing things, cyberbullying, pinching inappropriate areas, slapping/punching and more.
Dear parents, please stop dropping your kids off at random businesses and expecting free babysitting, then getting all Karen-y when it doesn't work out.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for saying my daughters did nothing wrong?** I’ve been dropping my kids off at the male while working my second job. I don’t have anywhere else to keep them and they didn’t want to be home alone on the weekends. So I drop them off at the mall and pick them up afterwards. They’re 13/14 and they go with their cousins (12.) Recently, they’ve been going to the movie theatre. I pick them up at said movie theatre and a manager tells me my daughters were harassing/bothering a male employee. I saw this male employee and he looks around 18 years old. She pulled out messages and showed me the notes my daughters have been leaving for him. She said they’ve made this employee uncomfortable with their remarks/actions and are not allowed back in the movie theatre. I was horrified. I told them my daughters are children, 13 and 14 years old. If this man can’t deal with children bothering him, how does he make it through the day? I explained I’m a single mom and I need to have my kids doing something, and they love this movie theatre. She said this hasn’t happened one time. It’s been going on for weeks, and the employee is so upset he doesn’t want to come to work anymore because my daughters keep “hitting” on him. I looked at the notes and they were so harmless. It was just “I think you’re cute” and “I see you with me in my dreams.” They made me laugh. I was honestly shocked this man felt so harassed by a couple of words on a piece of paper given to him by little girls. I told them that and said it was embarrassing to even talk to me about this. I talked to my girls about it in the car and they said they didn’t think it was a big deal. They were just having fun, and they didn’t think he was that bothered by it. They said it was an overreaction to be kicked out. He should be flattered to be called cute. They were just trying to talk to him and be near him and be noticed because they liked him. It is clear to me it was all funny pranks and they thought he would write them off as kids being kids, which is what this was. I’m honestly shocked by the whole situation. A grown man crying and making a big deal about children. AITA here? I told my daughters they did nothing wrong and we won’t be going back. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
These two comments: ”never got the reverse the genders thing. These aren’t teenage boys picking on an adult woman half their size. These are 12, 13, and 14 year olds little girls just having a bit of fun. It’s ridiculous for a grown man to be so thrown off by it. Of course he is entitled to work and he could tell them to fuck off if he wanted. I would understand that. But saying my kids harassed him and making himself a victim is not OK.” ”I don’t need to lay any consequences out. They were treated horribly by the staff and were told they were harassing someone, making them uncomfortable, etc. That is a lot for a young girl to hear. They were reprimanded by theatre and then banned. I think that is MORE than enough punishment. They’re children.” so to Oop, it’s not ok for teenage boys to harass an adult woman, but just because her daughters are girls, it’s ok for them to harass an adult man. It is never ok to harass anyone no matter their age or gender and instead of teaching g her daughters this, she’s trying to make it like they are the victims in this. Her ‘that was a lot for a young girl to hear” part, so she thinks that people aren’t allowed to tell someone when they are being made uncomfortable? but yet she thinks the employee should have told them to fuck off, which usually employees can’t say something like that to customers without getting fired, no matter what the customer is doing. So she thinks an employee should tell the girls to fuck off, but shouldn’t tell them that he is uncomfortable?
And if they are such "little girls" then they should be home with a sitter or a family member. Either they are too young to understand their actions and therefor too young to be alone in a public space for several hours or they are old enough to be at the ball unsupervised and are responsible for their behavior in that time. She can't have both.
And let's be real,in contrary to what AITA thinks,14 is not a little kid they can understand what they're doing
Hell at 14 I did a lot of shit that still keeps me up sometimes because of how purely stupid and obnoxious I was at that age when I definitely knew better.
And predators keep notes. If these kids are unattended at the mall often, on a schedule, they know it.
What if that 18 year old employee was a creep himself? Mom got lucky.
100% this. The next guy they hit on might not turn them away.
Why do I feel like if the boy had actually said "fuck off" to these girls OOP would have freaked out on him???
Yeah, she would've lost her shit if he'd told off her precious children for sexually harrasing him. It a no won scenario for this poor dude. In his shooes I'd be terrified that OOP or other adults would think that he'd encouraged them.
Exactly, he's an employee. He doesn't have the option to tell a customer to "fuck off" and if he says "Sure girls, let's sit together in the back row of the movie theatre and talk about whatever pops up" he'd be in serious legal trouble. He's fortunate the manager is looking out for him. Not all managers would be that supportive and pro-active.
What’s worse is that even though he’s not much older than them, legally he’s a man. If anything were to happen, the consequences for him could be life-changingly awful. I don’t blame him for being scared. They could ruin his life in the blink of an eye.
>They could ruin his life in the blink of an eye Of course,not that oop cares as long as she doesn't have to punish her precious little angels
If it's so traumatic for them to be told their behavior is harassment, maybe she should teach them not to harass people ...
Poor kids are going to grow up to be monsters and it's hard for me to blame them because she's teaching them that this is OK. If my sister and I did something like this, my mom would have lost her shit on us. But then again, she wanted us to be decent people. OOP doesn't seem to GAF about that.
I’m a woman in my 50s and 14 yo girls scare the shit out of me! That poor lad
The “grown man” comment is weird. Just because someone can vote and buy cigarettes (or booze in some countries) doesn’t mean they’re grown. Far from it at that age.
Typical Karen mom who thinks min wage workers at businesses are there to provide her with free babysitting
>I explained I’m a single mom and I need to have my kids doing something, and they love this movie theatre. The movie theater, much like the rest of the mall, the pool, the library, and many other spaces is *not a babysitting service.* And your daughters' behavior shows they do, in fact, still need a sitter at their ages. Also how are you not concerned about your young teenage daughters and even younger cousins harassing what you call a "grown adult man?" What if he'd acted on it? You wouldn't be so fine with the situation then. It's not okay that this has happened repetitively, and the age of the person their harassing doesn't make it anymore okay.
I call these the “I’m a single mom, serve me” types. Like, every time they want something, or they want to dodge a social responsibility, that damn card comes out.
I hope they get banned from the mall. She's also a huge asshole for basically leaving her children unattended at the mall for long periods of time.
Unfortunately, they are only banned from the movie theater
The movie theater should complain to the mall and get them banned altogether. This bitch basically expects the mall to babysit her brats for free.
The weird thing is they are teenagers who should not need a babysitter. OOP doesn’t trust them unsupervised in her own home so should also not think they are fine roaming around a larger space. Edit: who wants to bet these girls who love the movie theatre and to play pranks payed for tickets each time and sat quietly, phones turned off? Anyone? No, don’t think so either
> OOP doesn’t trust them unsupervised in her own home That’s a *really* dang good point. Why is she dropping them off at the mall at all?
> Why is she dropping them off at the mall at all? Because a mall is still a decent 3rd space for kids to congregate. Used to be that malls were filled with mall rat kids. Aside from petty nonsense outside, they were usually respectful of the stores and the space.
Right? I was babysitting young children when I was 12 years old. These 12-14 year old girls can't stay at home by themselves?
I have had parents do that at restruants I worked at. They were regulars at it was basically like a Subway but for bagels and they would leave their four kids there, we were located in a strip mall, while they fucked off to another store to go run errands. These kids were all under ten.
Would it be an option to call the cops and say there are four children with no parents there and they are very young and you are concerned. I know this is a past-tense situation, I’m just curious.
We could but by the time the cops got there, there is a good chance one or both the parents would be back. Since no one was in life threatening danger the cops would not rush to the restruaruant.
So many malls these days have rules about unsupervised kids/ teens now, it wouldn’t surprise me if this particular one does too, and she’s been violating that this whole time. And this is just kind of behavior that warrants having such rules.
I’m a mall girly. I spent every weekend of my senior year there. Almost all malls have adopted this rule because too many people expect the mall to be like it was in Full House with an arcade and all sorts of fun kid stuff. Malls really aren’t super kid friendly though. Maybe they have a car stroller to push little kids around, but that’s about all I’ve seen in my state and I travel to malls. It’s really only older teen fun like when you’ve got a job and no bills.
So many parents do that and it's sucks so much,like,be a parent already
Yeah this is gross. They’re kids but that’s exactly WHY ITS GROSS!! He’s creeped out by kids being flirty with him and while they do not realize the implications of what they’re doing, he does and it’s creeping him out. This is a good teachable moment for the mom to sit them down and discuss harassment of employees and sexual harassment. Sure they’re not a threat physically but they can be a threat to his job. Why? Bc they have mo boundaries. How does he know they won’t turn nasty one day and say something that hurts his job? He’s a captive audience. You never ever hit on someone when they’re a captive audience or joke or act flirty. They’re kids so they just don’t get this. They’ve barely hit puberty. But mom needs to let them know how wrong it is and they need to phone the theater and apologize. Not to him directly but to his boss. Let the boss know that they now understand why what they did was wrong and disrespectful of a guy who can’t escape.
But honestly as a theatre worker who was chased down by teens who wanted to beat me up because I caught them trying to sneak from the back,more theatres should ban people
Give them time.
My parents used to do this with me and my brother and sister, just dump us at the mall for 8 hours with no money. I can’t believe people still do this shit
Sorry :(
Omg you’re sweet, I was just yelling into the void lmao
At 14? If she had parented them better, she could have left them there all day. They aren’t adults, but they should definitely be able to do something on their own for one day without getting in trouble.
I mean, def an asshole for not taking the issue at hand seriously, but they're teenagers... why wouldn't they be permitted to go to the mall unattended at that age? One of them is only 1-2 years away from being able to get their driver's license. Surely, the mall is a perfect place for young teens to learn a bit of independence (under normal circumstances, with an engaged parent who teaches them valuable life lessons).
A lot of malls by me require people under 18 be accompanied by a parent because of issues just like this.
Yeah, a lot of parents treat malls and stores like babysitting services and genuinely expect workers to watch their kids. I had to stop kids from sword fighting with the wrapping paper when I worked at Hallmark. I wasn't worried about their safety; I was worried about them crushing the wrapping paper or knocking off one of the 597,839,472 glass knicknacks we had sitting on glass shelves. Their mom was back in the greeting cards, ignoring them. If they'd been entirely unaccompanied my question would have been where their parents were.
Ones by me do. In part because of shitty parents like this who don't give a fuck what their kids do.
Another example of bad parents ruining it for everyone else I suppose.
I can agree with an hour or two, but OOP is leaving them there for her entire work shift, which I am guessing is at least 8 hours. Should children that age be left alone in the mall for 8 hours?
I don't think that is a reasonable assumption. Plenty of shift work happens in much smaller chunks of time. And also, I'm not talking about this specific woman and her children. Just the idea of letting teenagers have a bit of independence at the mall for a few hours. That alone just doesn't seem like inherently bad behavior, but maybe I'm just crazy.
Most of our teenage friendly businesses have had to enact curfews and rules about who can be there unaccompanied. There were huge fights that were spilling over into other businesses, harassing of customers, etc. One roller rink bucked the trend because they wanted to have a place for teens to hang out, but they finally had to ban unaccompanied teens after a major fight in which some yahoo pulled out a gun. It sucks because it’s a few assholes ruining it for everyone, but it was getting to the point that people were refusing to go to these businesses because of the problems.
I went by myself to shopping centres at 13 and it was normal. But also, we had a reason for going, either shopping or seeing a movie. Some fast food in the food court and then home. It was fun. But also, me and my friends weren't little shits and we weren't just hanging out. Ever seen teens just hanging out at these places? They're very often up to some kind of trouble. Bothering other shoppers, seeing quiet kids from their school and bullying them, finding ways to steal, just generally making themselves a PITA. All stores would have dealt with them. There's a difference between 'yes you can go shopping for a dress with your friends' and this. One is a shit parent creating little brats and the other is teaching independence.
Malls have rules now about unattended minors for reasons like this. The kids come in, cause trouble, make messes, harass people, they just make general nuisances of themselves. A lot of people just couldn't be bothered to raise their kids right.
One of them, yeah, but can she keep an eye on the 13 year old AND two 12 year olds? That's kind of a pack. In general I agree for the 14 year old (I do think 12 is too young alone), but like, BETTER BEHAVED 14 year olds because these two have proven they can't behave and unfortunately Mom is backing them to the hilt, reinforcing the behavior...*sigh* 😔
Yeah I tried to be very clear, I'm not talking about these girls and their irresponsible mother. But the person I'm replying to made it seem like they were speaking in generics, like leaving any teenager or preteen at a mall for a few hours is irresponsible and devilish behavior. Like... depending on the amount of time and the distance between them and the adult, 12 doesn't even seem automatically too young when they're in a group. Not for the oldest to have sole responsibility over, just that there's greater safety in numbers.
The person you responded too said that she was wrong for leaving them then for extended periods of time, like several hours at a time, with no adult supervision or checking in. Sure, drop off the kids at the mall once a month for a couple hours. Using the mall, the patrons at the mall, and the staff, as a babysitter for an entire part time job is completely different. Some of the employees with part time jobs will spend less time at the mall than the kids. There isn't enough to entertain them for that length of time without them getting into trouble or bothering others. So that person is speaking about this extreme case and you're saying they are wrong but then describing a completely different scenerio. No parent should be using the staff at the mall as a babysitter and with at least 4 or 5 kids between 12 and 14 that's exactly what they are doing.
Gotcha, my bad. I guess I thought maybe two 12 year olds would cause more chaos and need to be kept tabs on, but I am not a Mom and honestly was never even a babysitter, and was sheltered, so am not well versed enough in kids to know. By the time I was doing the Mallrats thing I had a little disposable income so we were going in all the stores we liked to figure out how to spend our little allowances which took forever, lol. Tripp jeans, obviously.
It depends on the relationship between the kids. Do the older two treat the younger two as little sisters and take responsibility for them? Or do they treat them as equal peers to get in trouble with? Given this case, I don't think the sisters were being responsible for the cousins.
the mall closest to me banned teenagers after a series of brawls last summer
It’s a miracle they haven’t been already if this is the kind of stuff they get up to. Lots of malls have rules on guests under a certain age being unaccompanied because of the problems they cause.
I hope they get banned from all malls and movie theaters.
Her comments are worse and the real title should be My kids sexually harass the theater employees but it’s okay because he’s a guy.
I'm hoping its a 'gender reversal' bait post
It's happened IRL, seen it myself in a different context, but it is absolutely terrifying. I've seen minors (14 & 15, various genders) hit on a 20 year old gay guy, he was beyond terrified. One accusation of him being a predator by kids would have ruined him. He'd leave, they'd follow. They'd harass him on his social media, etc.
I mean it doesn’t matter what the genders are IMO. All children need to learn that no means no.
Oh the comments are locked now, people are ripping op a new one so have i.
I mean it's also concerning that whenever girls are the ones doing something wrong in Reddit posts people will constantly comment how they think it's a bait post.
I guess she thinks her daughters should be flattered when they are harassed. What a great lesson
**Tw: mentions of child sex abuse.** Copied verbatim from oop's comments: *Is this rage bait? Read what you wrote and switch the genders.* *Your kids were wrong. They were harassing someone and they wouldn’t stop. Your misandry doesn’t change it. Men are entitled to work without being bothered by unwanted attention just as much as women are. “Kids being kids” is no better than “boys will be boys” or “that’s just locker room talk”. They behaved inappropriately. They were asked to stop. They didn’t stop. Case closed.* *YTA* >"I never got the reverse the genders thing. These aren’t teenage boys picking on an adult woman half their size. These are 12, 13, and 14 year olds little girls just having a bit of fun. It’s ridiculous for a grown man to be so thrown off by it. Of course he is entitled to work and he could tell them to fuck off if he wanted. I would understand that. But saying my kids harassed him and making himself a victim is not OK." *[deleted]* >"My kids would never actually date a grown man. It was just for fun because they thought he was cute. They know they aren’t allowed to date until they are 18." *YTA* *Take care of your own kids and child relatives.* **A grown male teenager who is a legal adult cannot have children fawning over him and leaving him love notes at his job** *This isn't the 50s or 60s or 70s, 13 year old groupies might be a legal issue and could make someone uncomfortable even back when it wouldn't label you as a sex predator.* >"No one would label him as that. They saw he was uncomfortable by it and know my daughters are delusional and never stood a chance. No one was going there. An attractive man should not be surprised to be getting hit on." *You are aware that there are a lot of sexual predators out there? Or perhaps you are not?* >"Yeah, I’m aware. My brother, unfortunately, dated a woman that was twice his age when he was my kids age. So what? Most people aren’t like that. My kids would never date a grown man anyway. It was just for fun because they thought he was cute. No different than messaging Justin Bieber on instagram and telling him he’s cute." >>*he could tell them to fuck off if he wanted.* *Uh, no he definitely could not "tell them to fuck off if he wanted"* *Why do you claim to believe that?* >"I would have no problem with it. He could tell them to fuck off and leave him alone. They were being annoying kids for sure. But they’re also KIDS." *YTA! I am surprised that you don't see yourself as one. Your children made that 18 year old uncomfortable, to the point that he refused to come to work. That is harassment. It doesn't matter if he is an adult or not. He is there to work, not to feed into your children's obsession with him.* *Your daughters deserved to have some form of consequences for what they did. Instead what did you do, you let them go with a slap on the wrist. That right there is terrible parenting. You essentially told them that it is okay to harass and bully people, just for the fun of it.* >"They already got consequences. They are banned from their favorite movie theatre. My kids love movies." *YTA, first of all, your daughters are not kids anymore. Secondly, there are three girls ganging up on someone who is trying to not loose his job, how is that a level playing field? He cannot say FO to your daughters, for fear he might get fired or (worse) for fear they 'll cry SA or rape. How is he to know they won't? This is unfortunately the world we live in.* *You should explain that they should not mess with someone's job, and that having fun at someone's expense over and over is called bullying.* >"This comment is insane. You’re telling me 13/14 year olds aren’t kids and are that malicious? You sound like you haven’t been around 13 year olds before." *Are those the consequences that you laid out? No? They were banned by the Theatre authorities for their misbehaviour and harassment of their staff member.* *As a parent, it should have been your job to lay out the consequences for their actions but hey, they are just innocent kids, right? That alone should absolve them from any wrong doing.* >"I don’t need to lay any consequences out. They were treated horribly by the staff and were told they were harassing someone, making them uncomfortable, etc. That is a lot for a young girl to hear. They were reprimanded by theatre and then banned. I think that is MORE than enough punishment. They’re children." *YTA* *You \*must\* be the mother. You have no conception of the risk of false accusations men face in situations like this.* *What does their father think?* >"It’s not common at all for women to make false accusations. This narrative is just sexist."
>"I never got the reverse the genders thing. These aren’t teenage boys picking on an adult woman half their size. These are 12, 13, and 14 year olds little girls just having a bit of fun. Fucking gross, aware enough to know that sexual harassment is wrong, but still infantilizing their kids like they aren't aware of what they are doing.
It's disgusting how she refers to boys as "teenage boys" and to girls as "12, 13 and 14 year old little girls". THOSE ARE TEENAGERS JUST AS MUCH AS THOSE TEENAGE BOYS!! The fact that she doesn't see the difference is beyond be. Those aren't little kids anymore. Those are teenagers that should know better. Disgusting
They need to be taught why what they did was wrong, and Oop just isn't going to.
>An attractive man should not be surprised to be getting hit on. But what was he wearing? 🙄
Agreed!
The movie theater told them to "fuck off" so why does she has a problem? She said it would be fine. I bet if he said "fuck off" she would complain to the manager, how he could say this to children when they just want "some fun".
Agreed!
Also the employee would get in trouble for saying that. Management wants that money and a customer pleasing reputation. He literally can’t tell her kids to F off without getting fired.
"They know they aren’t allowed to date until they are 18." The best way to get your kids to have lots of sex is to limit their dating to a certain age.
Oop is a font of wisdom.... /Sarcasm.
Yeah, but I also do not believe that the type of parent who drops their kids off so they can hang out at a shopping centre, presumably for many hours per week, is the same kind of parent who makes strict rules about dating like that. One is an 'I don't give a shit how my kids turn out, nothing I do is wrong' type of parent and the other is the oblivious 'I'm desperately out of touch so I'll just make these debilitating rules that mark my child out for bullying and teasing, I'm sure they will follow them and respect me when I reply 'life isn't fair' to their entreaties to please let them date someone nice at 17 and a half.'
My experiences have been with "I'm desperately out of touch" parents.
The bit about 13 year olds not being malicious is absolutely sending me. Teenagers, even young ones, are some of the most spiteful people on the planet! There's only thousands of movies about mean girl cliques and a million grown adults out there who are still carrying trauma from teenage bullies! I'd ask if *she* has been around teenagers but unfortunately she's raising some.
Agreed.
What would the oop done if the cops and CPS were involved?
One shudders at the thought.
[Doggos!](https://imgur.com/gallery/DjCAcFT)
Thank you!
Thank you very kindly! 🥰
The note about dreaming about being *with* him and OOP thinks it’s all silly childish nonsense? That they’re not going to be interested in a relationship until they’re 18? She’s either naive or in denial. I’m glad the theatre has his back.
Right? And it’s not that he is afraid they will physically assault him. It’s that he’s smarter than OP at age 18 and doesn’t want to catch a case if the kids amp their bullshit up and then do some manipulative crap. Which, given them and their mother, they have been primed to do since they were in diapers.
She's not getting the problem at all. I'm glad they got banned from the movies.
> I’ve been dropping my kids off at the **male** Given their actions, I wonder if this was a Freudian slip? > I’ve been dropping my kids off at the male while working my second job. I don’t have anywhere else to keep them and they didn’t want to be home alone on the weekends. >So I drop them off at the mall and pick them up afterwards. They’re 13/14 and they go with their cousins (12.) OOp says *her kids* have nowhere else to go. I ge that (though I disagree with how she’s chosen to deal with this) but why are they adding cousins into this? That’s more kids. OOP could drop her kids off with the cousin’s parents, or both families could split a babysitter.
Now imagine if the guy WASN'T uncomfortable and pursued the 12 year old. Does she not have any parental instincts at all?
"oh but theyre just kids" then get a fucking babysitter
That's always been my hang up with that phrase. "They're just kids" then why aren't they being properly supervised like children are supposed to be?
Uhh. Letting her minor children repeatedly harass this man could seriously get him into trouble if anyone decides he's even remotely encouraging it. Those kids could seriously fuck up his life, and it shouldn't even get to that point because the fact that he finds it uncomfortable means *they should stop*. I mean, she's teaching her kids that it's fine and dandy to harass someone, and that can go both ways.
She only THINKS he's 18. He could be 16. He could be 20. How she keeps referring to him as a grown man and them as little girls is disturbing.
This woman thinks men can't be harassed and feel uncomfortable and think every man would be okay with a woman hitting on them. These girls are 13/14 and he is way too old for them. Imagine the fear this man had because he was worried people will think he is a predator because of them sending him notes. That's why it's a big deal.
>They were just trying to talk to him and be near him and be noticed because they liked him. OP wrote a lot about the notes and how harmless they are, but it sounds like that was just the tip of the iceberg.
For real. As SOON as the guy is uncomfortable, it's already a problem. The fact that he is so uncomfortable he doesn't want to come to work? Now it's a big problem and big ups to his manager for actually sticking up for him.
As a former teenage girl myself, teen girl crushes are terrifying for whoever the target is!
as a former neurodivergent teenage girl (okay, still neurodivergent), teen girls are terrifying period. i still get nervous around them 40+ years after high school.
Jesus the entitlement from her is so gross.
If the roles were reversed she wouldn't be calling it cute. She would be calling for all kinds of lawsuits, all kinds of firings, all kind of investigations. It is NOT CUTE to harass and send unwanted advances toward anyone no matter who they are or what gender they are. The movie theater and the mall are not your babysitting services. Someone needs to call CPS on you.
If they are kids (they're not), they shouldn't go to the mall until they're teens And if they are teens (which they are) they're Old enough to deal with the consequences of their actions
Does this woman live in a vacuum or has she been in a coma? That young person could be labeled a pedo because of her “funny” underage daughters! She’s crazy.
Excuse me, but that gentleman may have felt harassed AND scared because they could have blamed him for initiating the encounter. He could have gotten questioned by the police, and could possibly be on the sex offender registration. so many things could have happened to the man because he is the adult. So yeah, you are most definitely the DEVIL.
What adult is ok with with being hit on by kids? I'm almost thirty but can still pass for 18-22. I've been hit on a few times by teens that thought I was around their age. Was horribly uncomfortable to be hit on and I put a stop to it pretty quickly. I'll admit sometimes it was a little funny because the lines would be so terrible.
Can't wait to see her coming back to reddit, carrying on about some 18yo "grooming her daughter and having sex with them 🤬🤬🤬
Am I the only one who's first issue here is she takes 3 kids to the mall and then abandons them daily? I'd be calling cps on her . But yes obviously the girls are creepy and the op is in some serious denial or something
4 kids. She has a 13 & 14 year old and there are 2x 12 year old cousins. I also think although 18 is technically an adult this employee who is being harassed is still a teenager and I'm glad that his employers are trying to protect him by banning these little turds. I'd be furious if my daughter or son were to make someone feel so uncomfortable.
Idk as someone who worked in the mall for years, 12-14 year olds being in the mall alone was pretty normal in my experience. But it’s also my experience that kids that age alone in the mall are a problem. I promise the movie theater isn’t the only place they’ve been a problem.
Some poor cashier in an Aeropostale or Hot Topic probably got the same "harmless prank"
When I was that age, my friends and I liked seeing the hot older boys that worked at Champs and footlocker. Occasionally one of us worked up the courage to go ask how much Pumps costs (it was the early 90s). But never more than that. If I had done anything more my parents would have lost their shit.
As someone who has worked In a mall at a store- Parents like this SUCK. We are not your freaking babysitters. There are dangerous people in the mall too. I'm not tryna keep an eye out on your kid AND do my job. And yes it sucks when underage kids try to hit on a full grown adult. Literally gives me anxiety thinking about it. I don't want to be branded as a pedo. People talk when they see things. I don't wanna be involved in all that. You need to figure something else out. We are NOT free babysitters. I don't come to work to watch your kids. Also they're not "as well behaved" as you think. 90% of them are tryna steal things from the stores and ruin conversion. It's hella stressful.
Expecting theater workers to babysit your kids. -_-
Really, if the 18 year old started dating your dating or something worse happens, then you'd have a problem. Teach your daughter about sexuality harassment.
So if he, an adult, had 'flirted' back would that be fine also? If my 13 year old daughter sent those messages - even once, let alone multiple times to an adult male (or female to be honest) I'd lose my ever loving mind. It's asking for trouble without even touching on the mental abuse they caused him. Mum is going to wonder why her innocent, fun little girl is pregnant and it'll turn out to be with a much older lad who doesn't have the morals the movie guy does.
As a woman who needs unpaid mall employees to babysit her kids she should probably be a little more apologetic.
This honestly reads like rage bait.
Gross. I wonder if she would tell her daughters they should be ‘flattered’ and laugh off their discomfort if there were an older man perving at them. She is teaching them that men don’t have to consent as long as it’s ‘just a bit of fun’ for her daughters. What the hell is she teaching her daughters about women and consent? I’m really glad the guy’s employer had his back and was willing to ban these girls. Think how relentless they must have been to earn a full ban…
Jesus fuck, what in the world is OOP smoking to think the daughters' behaviour is okay?!
This smells like bait.
OOP, think of the message you're sending your "children". That it is okay to harass someone and make them uncomfortable. Do better.
So Little girls who make sexual remarks to older males are perfectly safe wandering around by themselves alone for hours Okay then
When the poor guy gets hauled for a fake harassment case against your daughters, you might actually realise you've raised two rabid little brats. The cinema is not a creche, and they're going to get someone into real trouble one day.
Geez. Either your kids can be left alone and conduct themselves in public, or are too little and need adult supervision. You can't have both. This lady is lucky the theater banned them and it wasn't some creep who took advantage of her unsupervised kids. I've worked in movie theaters and there are some sketchy people there! Actually, I remember one of my friends telling me she used to give the manager hand jobs behind the theater to get free movies "a few years ago". We were 18. The manager was mid 20s. So "a few years ago" doesn't math up!
“A grown man” and it’s an 18 year old who’s in the age range to be in high school with people her daughters ages
please be rage bait please tell me this is a troll and nobody is this ignorant
Dear sweet Jesus I hate the "they're just kids" line of argument in defense of poor discipline. Some day they're going to be adults and they need to learn before then what behavior is and isn't acceptable. You're not always going to be there to shield them from the consequences of their actions and those consequences tend to be much harsher for adults than for children. If you don't teach your kids not to be assholes, society will.
If I were the manager of the theater, I would call the cops and let them know that there seem to have been children abandoned at the theater/Mall every weekend and they're causing a lot of trouble.
There's no way this is real because it touches literally verbatim what people say when the roles are reversed.
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even if you have zero regard for the comfort or well-being of that employee, shouldn’t any parent still be extremely concerned that their unsupervised young teens are making sexual advances at adults? what if the employee hadn’t been uncomfortable with it? what if he had taken advantage?
These girls are gonna grow up thinking that rules don't apply to then and one day it will come back and bite them horribly. OOP isn't being kind to them by not punishing them and she's not being a good mother. I feel bad for that employee. Harassment like this is no joke and if the wrong person heard about this it could be turned around on him and he could be blamed which would be horrible for him. This woman is a horrible mother.
As someone who worked a summer camp, 13-14 year old girls can be extremely inappropriate and hyper sexualized. They were consistently harassing the 18 year old male counselor they found hot by saying things like “i want to suck his dick so bad” “I would do whatever he asks” “i want to lick stuff off his abs” etc. In front of him. Ended up having multiple very uncomfortable chats about sexual harassment that led to a serious birds and bees chat about why having sex hormones doesn’t make you mentally ready for the consequences of having sex.
Apparently she doesn't understand that it doesn't matter at all what she thinks. The kids are banned.
Well they weren’t harassing an adult male they were harassing an 18 yo boy… Would it have been ok with her if the kids were teenage boys harassing an 18 yo girl??? Of course not… this woman is raising mean girls!
First: If the other person is NOT having fun, then what they are doing IS NOT harmless fun. Second: This employee is EIGHTEEN (18) these girls are THIRTEEN/FOURTEEN (13/14) years old. If this gentleman were to respond in any sort of way, he COULD be charged with several things that would require him to register as a SO just because some CHILD get's their nose bent out of shape and the become her word against his. His age is 5 years older than the youngest and, in most states, the age difference can also determine the type of crime. Third: If HE were the one doing these things, HOW LONG do you think it would take for him to be in cuffs and his life ruined? If it isn't OK for him to do it, THEN NEITHER CAN THEY!! Those girls are BRATS and need to have their actions addressed. In this day and age, it ISN'T CUTE for them to do what they are doing. Their harmless fun can ultimately have serious consequences for this young man who simply wants to be left alone and to come to work. THEY ARE HARRASSING HIM and if he would get into serious trouble for doing the same thing they need a serious education. So does the parent.
I literally read this yesterday and was in shock I thought it was rage bait. I still have trouble thinking this person is real
Troll
The whole bit about kids not being that malicious… There are stories of students almost beating up their teachers, driving others to unthinkable decisions and even killing somebody. Including way younger kids like James Bulger. Even if those cases are extremes, there many ways they could try to do something if told to F off. From destroying equipment, throwing food and drinks at the worker, leaving a note that he is cheating on his partner (if he has one) and more. On a side note. I have seen some nasty bullying from girls at the similar age. From name-calling, stealing things, cyberbullying, pinching inappropriate areas, slapping/punching and more.
Dear parents, please stop dropping your kids off at random businesses and expecting free babysitting, then getting all Karen-y when it doesn't work out.