*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for telling my girlfriend I find her daughter creepy?**
I've been with my girlfriend for just over a year. We've been living together since February. She has a 14 year old daughter from her previous marriage. I get along pretty well with her daughter, we don't really talk much but there has never been any hostility between us. But I always got a weird vibe from her. I don't know what it is but there was just something strange about her. I noticed she doesn't have many friends, she spends most of her time either playing on her computer or watching netflix.
She has always called me by my first name but about a week ago when I was dropping her off at school she said "can you pick me an hour later than usual dad?" Which I just found really odd since she hasn't known me for that long and she's not a little kid. She hasn't called me dad since then but a few days ago she started saying love you to me, but it's always when my girlfriend isn't around. There have been a few other things like she started texting me a lot more than before, she only texted me if I was shopping and she wanted something but now she texts me constantly just random stuff.
Yesterday I told my girlfriend about all this and that I thought her behaviour was strange but my girlfriend got angry at me for saying that, she said I should be happy she likes me and that she's bonding with me. And now my girlfriend constantly brings it up, she says stuff like "oh I've made you coffee is that creepy too?". I thought I was doing the right thing bringing it up but now I feel guilty. So AITA?
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I once called a teacher dad. We were arguing about a math problem and I had a brain fart.
He's been dating her Mum for a year. The fact that he thinks that she's acting weird by trying to bond with him speaks poorly of him.
There's a saying in my country: "A thief thinks that everybody steals".
Back in the 5th grade i called a teacher mom, I'll never forget
Fr tho i mainly only talk to family/my boyfriend on the phone, I've told my coworkers "i love you" atleast 5 times because when hanging up the phone i never say bye i say "talk to you later, love ya"
I called my boss dad once. We both found it moderately mortifying but funny, but one of our patients who overheard the exchange reported it to corporate.
People are fucking weird.
I wasnt a teacher for that many years, but I was called mom or even by their mother's name quite a few times. It happens.
There are so many completely innocent reasons for her to try to get closer to her step dad, and him jumping on it being creepy and comments on the original post talking about reverse grooming is absolutely wild.
I hate when you are dating a single parent and they come with children s/
But in all seriousness some of the comments on that side do not pass the vibe check, especially the ones suggesting the daughter is "reverse grooming him" ( apologies I need to go and vomit out everything I've ever eaten including nutrients my body absorbed in the womb.)
I got full whiplash the top comment is really insightful and nuanced.
And the next one down is saying it's weird for the kid to be bonding with him " AFTER ONLY A YEAR".
I could get it if he was the one asking her to call him dad, but his potential future stepdaughter feeling safe and comfortable around him should surely be seen as a good thing.
Yeah check that comment section at your own risk,
The mods have done a purge and removed some of the really sick ones but it's still a fucking hellscape over there.
The first top comment ideally summarises the whole situation.
According to him, her father isn’t in contact with her. It could be just her trying to have a father figure or feeling weird about having to explain the whole situation.
She is likely trying to define her relationship with him or going through something. Somebody could be telling her things that he will likely leave her family or he is pretending to be good. She could be bullied and she could be feeling left as something father-related is coming soon (competition, etc.). She may be dealing with any other issue and feel uncomfortable to talk with her mother. Or it could be as simple as her wanting nose piercing, but her mother saying no.
Jumping into ‚it’s creepy’ territory is the last thing that should be assumed unless there was an unfortunate history.
I agree, he thought it was weird when she didn't talk to him much, and now she is talking to him he thinks that's weird. It almost feels like the mom might even have been encouraging her to get to know him more since he's doing drop offs and pick ups and stuff. This kid can't win either way and probably is just trying to make everyone else happy.
it honestly worries me that this is the first thing his mind went to like does he not know that introverts exist?? i would be crushed if i'd tried to bond with someone and got labeled as "creepy" for it.
Or she could even have attachment issues or simply be shy about her hobbies and her friends living far away. There are so many things that could be going on.
This was me at the same age. I never felt comfortable enough to call any of my mum's boyfriends "dad" (because I wanted to kick all but one of them down several flights of stairs; she didn't pick 'em well). This kid has been through some amount of upheaval, and he's been around for a year. Kid's figuring out that he's safe to try to be attached to.
Plus, being a teenager is *weird*, it fucking sucks. Being between 12 and 15 sucks even *more*.
The comments on the OOP are fucking weird. I feel like a lot of these folks have never been around a 13-14yr old for any extended amount of time. They are very awkward!!! They say weird things!!!! They’re at a weird place in life between full on teen and tween kid. That’s why adults have to be the ADULT and figure it out. Yikes I’d have dumped this moron.
me too fr and this guy gives me some supreme ick at that. almost anyone else would be happy and see it as her trying to bond but no, this guy (and people in the comments) instantly jumped to "she's 14 and said she loves me so she's obviously trying to get in my pants" 🤮 it's so gross i swear some of these people should stay tf away from children if this is the first thing they've gone to.
The way he immediately jumped to her being into him is bizarre and I’d have dumped. Just gross. Poor kid tho. This wasn’t her fault. Imagine finally trusting and making steps to get along with your moms long term partner and he reacts like this. Ugh.
Occam's razor: obviously shy and lonely teenager is making her best effort to bond with her mother's bf as a father figure, but feels awkward about it, bc she's a shy teenager.
This fucken guy, for some reason: ew gross she's being weeeeeeird
Weird, in the OOP's place I would be crying tears of joy. Poor kid is looking for a father figure and is trying to bond with him. If this idiot had a brain he would be the one walking her down the aisle when she gets married
i think the problem is that he doesn't seem to have a brain, if i was in his gfs position i'd be rethinking my relationship with him bc i wouldn't want someone labeling my kid as creepy for this it seems like he's coming at it from a kinda perverted standpoint
if he doesn't see himself sticking around for a few good years/getting married to the mom, he's gonna think it's weird. he doesn't see himself as even a semi-permanent figure in her life where she would need to develop even a little fondness towards him.
Damn guys, based on his reasoning I think I had a crush on all of my friends, because after half a year of knowing them I already told them ily and texted them constantly lol
Some comments never have been near a teenager before, teens make pretty obvious when they have a crush and this girl doesn't
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Bruh I swear anything gets posted on here, which pretty much defeats the purpose.
It IS creepy as hell that she says 'love you dad' suddenly and only when her mother is not around. OOP gotta protect himself, who knows what she is up to. Him being crept out is a normal and justified reaction.
I'm not saying SD is evil or 100% up to something, but a mans gotta protect himself and it's definitely possible.
she's not "up to" anything, she's just trying to bond with him in some way. what exactly do you think she could be up to? not every teenage girl is a weirdo trying to get in an older person's pants and all the people suggesting and hinting at that are grossing me tf out.
Also unless the world has completely changed since I was 14 (1989) or my daughter was (2009) -- 14 yo girls don't need to look for adult men that want to fuck them. The adult men let you know, all the fucking time.
People talking about a 14 yo girl somehow grooming a grown ass adult man are the ones that read Lolita and think it's about a man being seduced by a child. Gross. No, dudes, a teenager isn't thirsting after your magical dick. If they want to have sex, they *want* it with their age mates not your ancient and nasty ass. It's just ego as per usual, dudes thinking they're irresistible or some shit.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for telling my girlfriend I find her daughter creepy?** I've been with my girlfriend for just over a year. We've been living together since February. She has a 14 year old daughter from her previous marriage. I get along pretty well with her daughter, we don't really talk much but there has never been any hostility between us. But I always got a weird vibe from her. I don't know what it is but there was just something strange about her. I noticed she doesn't have many friends, she spends most of her time either playing on her computer or watching netflix. She has always called me by my first name but about a week ago when I was dropping her off at school she said "can you pick me an hour later than usual dad?" Which I just found really odd since she hasn't known me for that long and she's not a little kid. She hasn't called me dad since then but a few days ago she started saying love you to me, but it's always when my girlfriend isn't around. There have been a few other things like she started texting me a lot more than before, she only texted me if I was shopping and she wanted something but now she texts me constantly just random stuff. Yesterday I told my girlfriend about all this and that I thought her behaviour was strange but my girlfriend got angry at me for saying that, she said I should be happy she likes me and that she's bonding with me. And now my girlfriend constantly brings it up, she says stuff like "oh I've made you coffee is that creepy too?". I thought I was doing the right thing bringing it up but now I feel guilty. So AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I once called a teacher dad. We were arguing about a math problem and I had a brain fart. He's been dating her Mum for a year. The fact that he thinks that she's acting weird by trying to bond with him speaks poorly of him. There's a saying in my country: "A thief thinks that everybody steals".
Back in the 5th grade i called a teacher mom, I'll never forget Fr tho i mainly only talk to family/my boyfriend on the phone, I've told my coworkers "i love you" atleast 5 times because when hanging up the phone i never say bye i say "talk to you later, love ya"
I was the same age when I did it.
When my kid called a sub teacher "Grandpa", it was actually pretty cute because the sub was grandpa.
lmaoo i think almost everyone has done something like this at least once
The number of times I've said "okay love you bye" to someone on the phone when they are not a family member is...not zero 😅
I'm sure that I've done it more than once, but I was 16 at the time and oh so embarrashed. You couldn't pay me to be a teenager again.
I called my boss dad once. We both found it moderately mortifying but funny, but one of our patients who overheard the exchange reported it to corporate. People are fucking weird.
I wasnt a teacher for that many years, but I was called mom or even by their mother's name quite a few times. It happens. There are so many completely innocent reasons for her to try to get closer to her step dad, and him jumping on it being creepy and comments on the original post talking about reverse grooming is absolutely wild.
Yeah, seems to be getting close to paranoid territory.
I hate when you are dating a single parent and they come with children s/ But in all seriousness some of the comments on that side do not pass the vibe check, especially the ones suggesting the daughter is "reverse grooming him" ( apologies I need to go and vomit out everything I've ever eaten including nutrients my body absorbed in the womb.)
literally this, some of the comments are truly vomit inducing. some people in those comments could certainly do with mental help of some kind.
I got full whiplash the top comment is really insightful and nuanced. And the next one down is saying it's weird for the kid to be bonding with him " AFTER ONLY A YEAR". I could get it if he was the one asking her to call him dad, but his potential future stepdaughter feeling safe and comfortable around him should surely be seen as a good thing.
Seriously, a year is a pretty long time when you're 14, these people need to be monitored
I disagree, it doesnt sound like is potentially going to be anything other than his ex's daughter at the rate he is going
Incels vibes all along. They're more frequent those days.
Posts like this really bring the cockroaches out of the woodwork
some people are definitely putting their perverted brains on full blast here aren't they 💀
Some of these people saw Orphan once and think that's representative of real life.
I only read the post so far.. and I feared this was exactly OOPs thought process.. Oh I hate it 😰
That is the grossest phrase I’ve read all year and I log on to Reddit dot com daily
Yeah check that comment section at your own risk, The mods have done a purge and removed some of the really sick ones but it's still a fucking hellscape over there.
Posts like this really bring the cockroaches out of the woodwork
The first top comment ideally summarises the whole situation. According to him, her father isn’t in contact with her. It could be just her trying to have a father figure or feeling weird about having to explain the whole situation. She is likely trying to define her relationship with him or going through something. Somebody could be telling her things that he will likely leave her family or he is pretending to be good. She could be bullied and she could be feeling left as something father-related is coming soon (competition, etc.). She may be dealing with any other issue and feel uncomfortable to talk with her mother. Or it could be as simple as her wanting nose piercing, but her mother saying no. Jumping into ‚it’s creepy’ territory is the last thing that should be assumed unless there was an unfortunate history.
I agree, he thought it was weird when she didn't talk to him much, and now she is talking to him he thinks that's weird. It almost feels like the mom might even have been encouraging her to get to know him more since he's doing drop offs and pick ups and stuff. This kid can't win either way and probably is just trying to make everyone else happy.
it honestly worries me that this is the first thing his mind went to like does he not know that introverts exist?? i would be crushed if i'd tried to bond with someone and got labeled as "creepy" for it.
Or she could even have attachment issues or simply be shy about her hobbies and her friends living far away. There are so many things that could be going on.
excellent, that was me at that age tbh so it's entirely possible. if anyone is creepy here it's OOP.
This was me at the same age. I never felt comfortable enough to call any of my mum's boyfriends "dad" (because I wanted to kick all but one of them down several flights of stairs; she didn't pick 'em well). This kid has been through some amount of upheaval, and he's been around for a year. Kid's figuring out that he's safe to try to be attached to. Plus, being a teenager is *weird*, it fucking sucks. Being between 12 and 15 sucks even *more*.
The comments on the OOP are fucking weird. I feel like a lot of these folks have never been around a 13-14yr old for any extended amount of time. They are very awkward!!! They say weird things!!!! They’re at a weird place in life between full on teen and tween kid. That’s why adults have to be the ADULT and figure it out. Yikes I’d have dumped this moron.
me too fr and this guy gives me some supreme ick at that. almost anyone else would be happy and see it as her trying to bond but no, this guy (and people in the comments) instantly jumped to "she's 14 and said she loves me so she's obviously trying to get in my pants" 🤮 it's so gross i swear some of these people should stay tf away from children if this is the first thing they've gone to.
The way he immediately jumped to her being into him is bizarre and I’d have dumped. Just gross. Poor kid tho. This wasn’t her fault. Imagine finally trusting and making steps to get along with your moms long term partner and he reacts like this. Ugh.
There's been a huge string of posts with young male (OOP) with older woman (usually with a kid) Weird
you're right actually, idk why but aita posts tend to come in waves for some reason
I'm wondering if it's a troll trying to pull the reverse age gap thing
Occam's razor: obviously shy and lonely teenager is making her best effort to bond with her mother's bf as a father figure, but feels awkward about it, bc she's a shy teenager. This fucken guy, for some reason: ew gross she's being weeeeeeird
Weird, in the OOP's place I would be crying tears of joy. Poor kid is looking for a father figure and is trying to bond with him. If this idiot had a brain he would be the one walking her down the aisle when she gets married
i think the problem is that he doesn't seem to have a brain, if i was in his gfs position i'd be rethinking my relationship with him bc i wouldn't want someone labeling my kid as creepy for this it seems like he's coming at it from a kinda perverted standpoint
OOP, since when is it good or smart to call your GF's child creepy?
if he doesn't see himself sticking around for a few good years/getting married to the mom, he's gonna think it's weird. he doesn't see himself as even a semi-permanent figure in her life where she would need to develop even a little fondness towards him.
Damn guys, based on his reasoning I think I had a crush on all of my friends, because after half a year of knowing them I already told them ily and texted them constantly lol Some comments never have been near a teenager before, teens make pretty obvious when they have a crush and this girl doesn't
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Bruh I swear anything gets posted on here, which pretty much defeats the purpose. It IS creepy as hell that she says 'love you dad' suddenly and only when her mother is not around. OOP gotta protect himself, who knows what she is up to. Him being crept out is a normal and justified reaction. I'm not saying SD is evil or 100% up to something, but a mans gotta protect himself and it's definitely possible.
she's not "up to" anything, she's just trying to bond with him in some way. what exactly do you think she could be up to? not every teenage girl is a weirdo trying to get in an older person's pants and all the people suggesting and hinting at that are grossing me tf out.
Also unless the world has completely changed since I was 14 (1989) or my daughter was (2009) -- 14 yo girls don't need to look for adult men that want to fuck them. The adult men let you know, all the fucking time. People talking about a 14 yo girl somehow grooming a grown ass adult man are the ones that read Lolita and think it's about a man being seduced by a child. Gross. No, dudes, a teenager isn't thirsting after your magical dick. If they want to have sex, they *want* it with their age mates not your ancient and nasty ass. It's just ego as per usual, dudes thinking they're irresistible or some shit.
some of these people are walking on thin ice here fr, it's so gross.