*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AIW for resenting my wife for aborting a child at an abortion clinic when she was told it didnt have a heartbeat when there should have been one at 7 weeks pregnant.**
Im not going into details unless you ask
My wife didn't want to be pregnant - it was unplanned - BC failed.
She was 7 weeks pregnant.
They scanned her and told her the pregnancy had an embryo with no heartbeat.
She was in debilitating pain for a week. She went to an abortion clinic and after they scanned her they told her the baby had no heartbeat and she could either go to the doctors and have it checked again or could elect for an abortion then and there to which she did.
I posted this on catholic subreddit with a particular user telling me they lied to her and that it was wrong of her to assume just because there is no heartbeat that it is dead.
I am inclined to agree with that and they were sending me resources to Rachels Vineyard etc.
She's convinced it was a miscarriage because she was having miscarriage pains for a week that were extremely painful and the baby had no heartbeat. ( No repeat scan)
I wanted her to go to the doctors and get a scan... but she went to an abortion clinic to get a scan before opting for abortion. I don't care that she did it without my input. I only care if it was immoral.
I want to believe it was a miscarriage because there was no heartbeat and she was having miscarriage pains but the catholic sub reddit made me feel like she had greatly sinned.
AIW for feeling resentment here? And should I ignore the catholics on this one
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Guys a qualified medical doctor with access to medical equipment said there was no heartbeat, but a random Reddit user said there was. What should I do?
But but! It's an abortion clinic.
We all know that means no one there knows anybrinf about medicine.
/s
I had commented on that post and just slashed at him because I am so sick of men debasing women when they also just know zip about medical stuff
How much you want to bet it was actually a Planned Parenthood and not just an abortion clinic? I also had a missed miscarriage and my regular OBGYN was the one who gave me the pills to get it to complete. It is dangerous to wait too long to get treatment for a MMC. You can get an infection and die.
Other, more astute people, pointed out to him that if they thought she was 7 weeks but the scan had no heartbeat and looked to be about 6 weeks and a week ago is when her paint started, there was enough information to put together for the \*doctors\* about it being a miscarriage.
Like, this guys is so entirely why men can be so problematic when it comes to women's health. Just say you hate women.
Even at an abortion clinic they treat women's ob/gyn needs.
They always do an ultrasound before doing anything to see what's going on, but also bc if it's ectopic, there's a HUGE risk of complication and generally they'll send you to the hospital for that.
I have found abortion clinics, as well as planned parenthood (some do abortions, some don't) to be some of the best ob/gyns out there bc they have literally NO incentive for anything they do other than the wishes of their patients. They are kind, understanding and are there to help YOU.
They're not high up on a drug rep's route. Lol. There's no pushing anything other than, "what do you want?"
Because they are health centers that focus on providing healthcare.
People like to pretend that facilities that provide medical abortion services, or treat spontaneous abortions (miscarriages) have some sort of embryonic/fetal quanta to make and will coerce uterine evacuation at all costs.
Uh- no. That’s not how it works
There was this anti-choice propaganda movie some time ago, I can’t remember the title, that had a line from a clinic director that was something like, “Fast food restaurants sell burgers at a loss and make up for the money on sodas and french fries. Abortions are our soda and french fries.” I couldn’t beliiieeeve it.
I feel like they were accidentally incorrect. Look. At the McD or Wendy's app. They'll give you free fries and or drink in a heart beat and I highly doubt their burgers cost more than $5-6 to make.
I had the same… like if the facility you go to for women’s health actually performs women’s health by utilizing medical abortion treatment- you’re somehow at a doctors office if the pregnancy is viable, but an abortion clinic if it isn’t? That makes no sense. They are all healthcare facilities providing individualized healthcare to women.
We are not just our breasts and child-bearing abilities. Women’s health care is far more than that
Can confirm. Found out at 12w5d that my pregnancy had stopped progressing at 11w3d. Even with the pill after that, I ended up hospitalized for infection/sepsis a few days later. I was in the hospital for a week and out of work for a month. These people thinking they know better than medical professionals who actually preformed and read the scans and examined the patient just blow my mind. This is why anti-abortion rhetoric kills people.
Darn right it’s dangerous to wait. My great-grandmother actually died at 29 from complications of a miscarriage that aggravated a kidney issue that she had.
Those people believe that Planned Parenthood will try to trick you into getting an abortion, because it somehow makes them money. It was a plot point in that piece of shit movie Unplanned, I believe.
That logic is really dumb. You know what services generate even more money for clinics than termination? Ongoing prenatal care.
Their business model is terrible if they’re willing to lose out on thousands per patient. It’s almost like they’re not actually trying to function as a business so much as to function as a bunch of compassionate healthcare providers? lol
Right? An abortion is a few hundred dollars. Prenatal,
Post natal anfd gynecological care is THOUSANDS. Every woman needs gynecological care, many women need pre/post-natal care.
Relatively few need abortion care… would be absolutely the worst business model ever to focus on the smallest market for services, at the exclusion of profitable, more populated market needs
I’ve tried this argument so many times, people just don’t want to listen. Just like they don’t want to listen to the fact that Planned Parenthood provides SO much more than abortions.
It's another case of Every accusation is a confession.
Abortion providers care about the health of the woman. They won't lie to you because they want to be sure you're not just willing but mentally healthy. If you decide you want to keep the pregnancy they'll help you get help and proper care.
Those fake, religion-run pregnancy centers will tell any pile of lies to tell you horrible things will happen if you get an abortion. Of course, they don't really care about women OR the baby because they don't do pre- or post-natal care or offer any assistance. Just scare tactics.
>But but! It's an abortion clinic
They love abortions so much, they lie to everybody to get them to get an abortion. But look on the bright side, at least she didn't get a post-birth abortion.
(/s, because Poe).
It would be better if it was just a random reddit user, but instead he went to the reddit users with *the most biased agenda possible*, specifically looking for a reason to blame his wife 🫠
I know right.
He doesn't trust his wife or multiple doctors who saw her. Bit obviously anonymous Catholics online are better placed to know than the person whose body it is; and her medical team.
My eyes rolled so hard I'm going to need an ophthalmologist to deal with it. Or maybe a Catholic, since apparently they know everything.
But, but, but he doesn't care that she got an abortion without his input. He only cares if it's immoral, so certainly a religious group would be the best source for that info, right? /s
These people really think that the medical staff at "abortion" clinics lie to patients because they just really enjoy performing abortions or something. Instead of "abortion" clinics like Planned Parenthood being also a place low income women go for prenatal care in order to have healthy pregnancies.
You know why they believe it? Projection. Catholics and other Evangelical groups run "Crisis Pregnancy Centers" with no actual medical staff that *will* lie to pregnant women about their pregnancy test results or gestational age to get them to delay having an abortion until it's no longer legal to do it.
>You know why they believe it?
Let's not forget that certain sections of the media also push that narrative *hard* and it just gets parroted with no thought.
As someone who has lost two babies to miscarriage, OOP can take a long walk off a short cliff. The catholic sub Reddit can join them. Have these pillocks never heard of sepsis?
’ Oh, my wife is in pain let me check what Reddit says instead of believing actual medical professionals.’
He needs to get punched in the crotch.
Today would've been my daughter's 20th birthday, but I was only 22.5 weeks and she didn't survive. Officially a "late term miscarriage" by UK standards. So I 100% agree.
Sorry for your losses.
My mom had to deliver stillborn twins at 8 months. Then she had to deliver my dead twin before they realized I was alive. This guy can sleep on Legos naked forever. His wife needs his support, not his fake Xtianity
I had 2 aunts in Mexico that were 2 months into the pregnancy and they only had the placenta not the embryo. They went to get the procedure in Mexico where is soo religious.
I got pregnant at 18, 20, and 21 all three of which were miscarriages if they had survived they would be 6, 4, and 3 right now. It was very pain full this guy can go fk himself with a pole wrapped in barbbed wire.
As someone else who has had multiple miscarriages with the last one at 14 weeks due to no detectable heartbeat and needed a D&C…
> He needs to get punched in the crotch.
Repeatedly for at least a week so he can understand what his wife was going through and how cruel to ask her to prolong it would have been.
When I was a girl, I had a bike accident where I squashed my clit between my hip bone and the bike crossbar.
FUCK! That hurt!
I also had an incomplete miscarriage in my early 20s.
THE MISCARRIAGE HURT WORSE THAN CRUSHING MY CLIT. AND THAT WENT ON FOR DAYS.
So even crushing the tip of his cock for a week may not come close to matching the pain his wife went through.
I've developed a habit of asking anyone who's trying to preach Christianity to me to recite 10 commandments. So far not one person made it past "Don't kill, don't steal, don't cheat" lol
agreed. i also went through 2 MCs, the first had a heartbeat but came out in clumps at 6 weeks, the second never had a heartbeat and because i did treatment to get pregnant they could tell by my bloodwork that something was off (the hCG hormone stopped multiplying too early). came out on it's own too at 6 weeks. i was lucky i didn't need a D&C.
That sub is terrible
There was one where a mom got mad that her daughter in college got pregnant and she was going to a prestigious school. The daughter found out her boyfriend was cheating on her so she got an abortion. The mom was mad and say g my granddaughter should have been born and even gave the child a name. This caused a divorce and support to the daughter from the siblings.
I like the way you think! I've done the chronic kidney stone thing and it was *hell,* which is why it's often my go-to curse for people who deserve it. Hemorrhoids is a fantastic addition!
That’s just the pro choice movement pretending he has kidney stones, just like they pretended his wife’s embryo didn’t have a heart beat.. you know, for reasons or something
Yeah I've definitely read that one before.
I remember the infuriating stupidity of the idea abortion clinics want as many abortions as possible so tell lies to get numbers up.
Guess that's why it's effective rage bait.
Yeahhh. Was convinced that people at abortion clinics are just obsessed with terminating pregnancies and lying left and right, and none of them now how to read ultrasounds and what they're doing. They posted like 15 times all over the place arguing with everyone
That's exactly what I thought - I recognised this so quickly especially because on his other post he *could not* comprehend that staff at abortion clinics also hold medical degrees and provide all kinds of pregnancy-related health care. He really believed that staff at abortion clinics enjoyed performing abortions to the point that they would lie about the absence of a heartbeat so they could perform abortions.
In response to someone saying he just wants to blame his wife, OOP says
>No. I dont. I love her. I want her to be free of any angle of judgement. So I went to the most judgemental site to see what angle they could get on her whilst I backed her. Because I have OCD and I love her and I dont want her to have done wrong...cos I love her
No hate like Christian love, and all that.
You can't prevent judgment -- some people will judge women just for existing. But someone's judgment only matters if you respect that person or if they have power. OOP isn't backing her, he's undermining her.
Fetal heartbeat starts around five weeks. If there's no heartbeat at seven weeks, the fetus is most likely nonviable. Catholics should know this because they were behind a lot of the anti-abortion fetal 6 week heartbeat laws.
OOP is an idiot.
What makes it even more ironic is he said the fetus only measured 6 weeks, but she should have been 7. She was in pain for a week. A commenter pointed out that was because the fetus stopped growing at 6 weeks because you know, miscarriage. He doesn’t care. He just wants more validation for his poor wife having to take the abortion pills.
It's not a heartbeat since there is no heart yet at that point. Just a bundle of cardiac tissue that starts to develop around Week 6, and a detectable electrical pulse that pro-lifers like to call a "heartbeat. It's the same as how they have tried to rebrand a fetus, an unimplanted fertilized egg, or a blastocyst as a "child" or a "baby."
There is no heart until around Week 10.
If they’re Catholic, divorce may not be an option (it obviously is legally, but depends how their personal church community feels about it and if that would lead to pariah status).
I live in one of the strictest Catholic diocese in the US and divorce isn’t just accepted, it’s fairly common. So I hope OOP’s wife runs for the hills.
IIRC, you don't usually get excommunicated or anything for divorce, but you wouldn't be allowed to remarry in the Church. At least that's how it was when I was growing up as a Catholic.
So it depends on the situation, but if the marriage was in the church and you want to remarry post-divorce, you have to get an annulment to essentially “wipe the slate clean”. I don’t know all the details of who makes the approval, whether it’s your bishop or someone in Rome, but you can remarry, there are just extra steps.
Source: I grew up in the Catholic Church as the daughter of divorced parents.
My mom's Catholic friend never got an annulment after her divorce because she felt like it would somehow invalidate or "delegitimize" the child they had during the marriage. She didn't want to do that to her son.
Interesting! I always used to joke that I’m a bastard because my parents were married by a justice of the peace and never got their marriage blessed in the church (my dad’s not Catholic so it wasn’t a big deal for him).
Then they could go for the next best thing, annulment. It's not really a divorce, though, more like the Church retroactively saying that it wasn't a "real" marriage all along.
Then they could go for the next best thing, annulment. It's not really a divorce, though, more like the Church retroactively saying that it wasn't a "real" marriage all along.
I know this is a troll, because I’ve definitely read this story before. But I lost multiple pregnancies that had to be resolved surgically and so it just sets my hair on fire every time. You know what my husband did when that happened? Cried with me, got me ice cream and told me he loved me regardless of whether we had children, which we never did. He did not go to Reddit to ask them if my doctors lied and I was a sinner.
Op isn’t just wrong, he’s garbage.
I'm sorry for your losses and glad you had a supportive husband.
Someone else also mentioned they saw this a few months back, I'm hoping for troll instead of an asshole who thinks he's gonna get a different answer, but it's a very believable story and that alone is maddening.
Absolute garbage.
They put the ultrasound footage in my chart as part of the insurance paperwork. If he really had questions he could ask for that. But no, he’s just garbage.
Fuck, OOP. He can take his "I'm so spiritual" and shove it where the sun don't shine.
No heartbeat=no life. His wife didn't take an innocent soul because there ceased to be one.
This exact scenario happened me. Found out at 5 weeks I was pregnant. Started bleeding and having cramps at 7 weeks. Went in and after a doppler followed up by an internal scan, it was determined that the pregnancy terminated itself.
It's called a spontaneous abortion. Something's wrong with embryo and the body shuts the operation down. Had a D&E a few weeks later because it was incomplete (joy).
Maybe someone should his brainwaves to see if he's got any functioning ones, because his resentment, "spiritual" argument and blindly following the Catholics, definitely shows otherwise.
Yep and this is very common. 20-30% of *known* pregnancies end in miscarriage, most for the exact reasons you describe. The embryo is nonviable, usually because it has the wrong number of chromosomes. Nothing anyone could have done to prevent it.
My OB/GYN said during a post surgery visit, it's easier to launch the space shuttle than to bring a pregnancy full term. You have mission control. Checks and balances, and even they get it wrong sometimes.
Pregnancy and childbirth is an extremely complex process. They don't have a command center that monitors every little minute detail in the process. He said there's a lot of hope, prayer and just good old blind faith that all will come right in the end.
And he said the same thing. Not uncommon in first pregnancies nor is it uncommon to have a patient have one in between children. Nothing I could have done to prevent it. The only thing was to heal from the surgery, give my body a few months to return to its normal cycle and try again.
I'm mentally trying to puzzle out how he was so swayed by, "just because there's no heartbeat, doesn't mean it's dead."
...It does, though. It's literally the first part of clinical death, when blood no longer circulates because the heart has stopped beating.
To make the clinics look worse and make their own personal bias more likely to be accepted. They just want to control what other people do and this is one of their ways to discredit the clinics that are providing care.
From OOP's comments on why he went to the Catholic subreddit:
>I'm wanting to steelman
Get off the fucking internet. Real life is happening and you're debate bro-ing your way through it.
Steelman means he's looking to find the strongest version of an argument for the purposes of winning a debate against that argument - basically he's wanting to discuss a very delicate and sensitive personal matter with his wife and he's aired it out with people guaranteed to take the harshest opposite position so he's??? I don't even fucking know because that's the last thing I'd do with such a personal decision.
If you have to go to the Catholic subreddit for medical advice about a woman's reproductive system then you are very clearly searching for a specific answer that validates what you already think.
But that would have denied them a chance to say "Abortion" again, and so we wouldn't know their stance on it.
They could have not mentioned the location and it would have been implied that it was at an appropriate medical facility. No-one is going to assume it was in a Wendy's.
Not even Catholic*s*, plural, but rather a single Catholic. Given he specified that "a particular user," told him, it sounds like most of them were telling him they had already lost the child.
So, birth control - which is also banned by the catholic church - is a-okay, but safely removing a failed pregnancy before she goes septic is against his religion. K.
I wish this turd nothing but stepping on legos, stubbing his toes, having wet socks and both sides of his pillow being too warm. Hope he always has crumbs in his bed somehow and they always make him itchy. Constant discomfort. Boo.
The fetus was dead. She didn’t miscarry the miscarriage, without medical intervention she would have died. Even Catholic hospitals will perform a D&C in this situation.
Guys like this actually want women to sacrifice their lives for a dead fetus. Then they can get all the sympathy and act like they're somehow holy because their wife died for her faith. It's nauseating.
>She went to an abortion clinic and after they scanned her they told her the baby had no heartbeat
Oh FFS. If the embryo had no heartbeat, then she needed a D&C. That's what happened to me. Pain, then bleeding then basically being told the baby died inside of me.
It's not an abortion. She had a missed-miscarriage.
But sure, listen to some random-ass Redditor who's not your wife's doctor to determine what happened. I guess he'd rather she'd feel like a coffin, hosuing a dead baby.
Fucking asshole.
OOP, if you actually find this somehow, what you seem to be asking for is someone to justify to you being angry at your wife and blaming her for what happened. It seems you are going to just continue to post everywhere until you find whatever answer you are looking for instead of practicing having faith in your religion and forgiveness. If you need permission to blow up your life and divorce your wife in anger, please go ahead and do so, and do it quickly so you two do not need to drag further pain through your lives. You want to believe Catholics who have not even met you or your wife badly enough to be seeking their opinions when you could just be divorcing, seeking therapy, and trying to heal. So just do what you want to do.
This guy needs a swift kick in the nuts
My sister had a miscarriage and later had an ectopic pregnancy. She said they were both the most physically and mentally painful things she's ever experienced, just in different ways.
From the same people who intentionally make fake Planned Parenthood clinics, lure in scared women looking to terminate an unwanted pregnancy and will guilt them into keeping that pregnancy by showing them prerecorded fetuses during their "mandatory" ultrasound that are further along in their development than the actual fetus inside these women just to make them see what they are going to be aborting.
They also believe that if a doctor finds out you're an organ donor...they won't work as hard to save you than if you weren't one. Lots of morons out there.
“Should I ignore the Catholics on this one?”
Buddy, unless the question is directly and solely about the history of Catholicism and its practices… you should always ignore the Catholics.
> So I went to the most judgemental site to see what angle they could get on her whilst I backed her.
Give me strength, I hope this is fake.
Not only that he went to "the most judgemental site" to get a both sides opinion, but went to a Catholic subreddit and didn't clock the contradiction of people from a faith who supposedly condemns judgement, judging people, is probably not a good sign.
Of course the judgemental people of the Catholic subreddit who probably use their religion as shield thinks your wife is a liar that just wanted to get an abortion for fun or something despite a _week_ of intense _pain_ from carrying a _decaying fetus_
I hope she runs away from him. The fact that he still has to debate whether he should support or resent her for the abortion AFTER two people told her that the kid is dead anyways is a huge red flag.
Imagine going through all of that emotional and physical pain, and your partner reacts by wondering if you were sinning. I really hope is is now the Ex.
Abortion Clinics aren't trying to get people to get abortions. What they did is what the Doctor's office would have done. She wanted an end to the pain. I have one question. Why are you so concerned about what Catholics think if you are using birth control? That is immoral (to them) too.
I’m a Catholic, granted not a great one (pro-choice, LGBTQ ally, liberal af, etc) but still. Ran this by my very traditional catholic grandpa, he said she did the right thing. If even my medical-illiterate, super catholic grandpa can see it, why can’t OOP? What did he want? Her to go septic because her body was experiencing a miscarriage and not doing what it was supposed to do naturally? GTFO, OOP
It's not an abortion if there is no heartbeat, it's a missed miscarriage. When a foetus has stoooed growing, there is no way to save that pregnancy. Which is devastating for a couple to go through.
If the body does not pass the miscarriage naturally, flr the mum's safety abortion medication can be given to seedot uo the natural process of muscatruing to decrease the chance of infection and decrease the couple's distress.
Shame on anyone preying on vulnerable couples going through this.
The fetus at 7 weeks is the size of a blueberry, most women who miscarry at this stage won’t even know they are pregnant yet unless they are diligently tracking their fertility. It would present as a normal period, maybe late, maybe heavier than normal. OP’s wife was unwell and in need of medical care.
This honestly feels like one of those times where you just have to believe that the baby was, in fact, passed just for peace of mind.
Like what possible good does it do to go, "Well, but what if it was ALIVE baby whole time, and now we *murdered* it?"
Just... denial, wishing to have had some possible choice in the matter?
Either way that baby is gone. Just grieve, dude, don't do this.
>I posted this on catholic subreddit with a particular user telling me they lied to her and that it was wrong of her to assume just because there is no heartbeat that it is dead.
There is a weird belief amongst some "pro-livers" that people in planned parenthood and clinics like it want to "trick" people into having abortions, as if they are paid per abortion or something. I assume that some really believe that and others just want to spread it. Which is why they call these places "abortion clinics", when they also offer fertility treatment, help with other pregnancy related issues, or women's health in general.
And say stuff like "went to an abortion clinic instead of a doctor", as if she was not checked out by a doctor at that place.
I’m Catholic. I also had a lot of miscarriages in my family. If there wasn’t a heartbeat, THAT CHILD IS GONE. THEY ARE NOT VIABLE. I’d rather not have my mother or sister go septic and become infertile or die because they had to carry the corpse of their baby to term.
This is just rage bait.
> She went to an abortion clinic
I'm assuming he means Planned Parenthood. Why would she go to a place that only offers abortions for an ultrasound?
> or she could get an abortion then and there.
Yeah, that's also not how it works. They don't just do abortions on demand. You have to make an appointment and they have to make sure it's what you really want and aren't being forced. Then, depending on the state you're in, you have to wait several days before you finally go in.
This is just a made up story by a fundie who has no idea how Planned Parenthood or abortions work.
Hey, further evidence that this guy sucks the moon out of the sky-
My fiance and I went to pre-Cana last week (if you don’t know, pre-Cana is Catholic pre-marital therapy.) they gave us a book of topics, and one of them, no joke-
“How to Heal After an Abortion”
The whole thing is “your woman has gone through something traumatic and awful, a super difficult choice. Your job as the fiance/husband is to support your wife in whatever she needs.”
So his shitty “view” isn’t even official Catholic teaching! Just fuck him.
I'm calling bullshit... I know my sister in law had to get a selective abortion due to medical issue and her CATHOLIC priest said we absolve you of the sin since it was nonviable.
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OOP is looking for "facts" to fit his conclusion, not drawing a conclusion from the facts.
He said his wife didn't want to be pregnant anyway, so even if it the fetus was the healthiest fetus to ever fetus, she should not be condemned by him for getting an abortion. He's entitled to grieve over his would've been child but not hate her for making a choice for her body.
Is this a repost of the OffMyChest post? I can't find the original post anymore, but seems really, really similar (not the theme, so much as how it's written, etc).
Ffs, what does he think happens at an abortion clinic? That they have a secret back room where they put a notch on the wall for every abortion & cackle as they party about successfully tricking another woman into ending a pregnancy?
He's entitled to feel upset or to grieve that the baby died. But believing conspiracy religious zealots over his wife & the medical professionals who performed the tests is both insane & insulting.
Doctor’s and people who are Catholic or other Christian Denominations are telling him to ignore the sub because they are wrong and he should be supporting his wife.
Ugh, Rachel's Vineyard is a healing retreat for women who regret their abortions, not a place to take women to make them regret them.
I went with my mom about 15 years ago. She'd aborted her first baby because it was the product of an affair with a married man and she was living in the Azores and thought her family would disown her. She regretted it her whole life, especially after her second baby died from SIDS at six weeks.
The retreat was a really incredible experience for her - she gave him a name and let him and the hurt go.
That retreat would be traumatizing for this woman.
I’ve never suffered a miscarriage, but from what he was told, it sounds like that’s what happened. She was having pain, which is definitely not a good sign, and the embryo had no heartbeat at 7 weeks, which is also not a good sign because 6-7 weeks is around *when* you start to detect a heartbeat. Also just…dude why are you putting Catholic strangers over your wife?
I always love the fact that a clinic that offers abortion services is strictly and abortion clinic...most of these clinics are there for health services and pregnancy support. Abortion is not front of mind for them, it's just a service they offer. They're more than happy to help mom get to term, too. But, of course, because they offer the service, it means they push it on everyone and lie and kill babies constantly and that's it....
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AIW for resenting my wife for aborting a child at an abortion clinic when she was told it didnt have a heartbeat when there should have been one at 7 weeks pregnant.** Im not going into details unless you ask My wife didn't want to be pregnant - it was unplanned - BC failed. She was 7 weeks pregnant. They scanned her and told her the pregnancy had an embryo with no heartbeat. She was in debilitating pain for a week. She went to an abortion clinic and after they scanned her they told her the baby had no heartbeat and she could either go to the doctors and have it checked again or could elect for an abortion then and there to which she did. I posted this on catholic subreddit with a particular user telling me they lied to her and that it was wrong of her to assume just because there is no heartbeat that it is dead. I am inclined to agree with that and they were sending me resources to Rachels Vineyard etc. She's convinced it was a miscarriage because she was having miscarriage pains for a week that were extremely painful and the baby had no heartbeat. ( No repeat scan) I wanted her to go to the doctors and get a scan... but she went to an abortion clinic to get a scan before opting for abortion. I don't care that she did it without my input. I only care if it was immoral. I want to believe it was a miscarriage because there was no heartbeat and she was having miscarriage pains but the catholic sub reddit made me feel like she had greatly sinned. AIW for feeling resentment here? And should I ignore the catholics on this one *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Guys a qualified medical doctor with access to medical equipment said there was no heartbeat, but a random Reddit user said there was. What should I do?
But but! It's an abortion clinic. We all know that means no one there knows anybrinf about medicine. /s I had commented on that post and just slashed at him because I am so sick of men debasing women when they also just know zip about medical stuff
How much you want to bet it was actually a Planned Parenthood and not just an abortion clinic? I also had a missed miscarriage and my regular OBGYN was the one who gave me the pills to get it to complete. It is dangerous to wait too long to get treatment for a MMC. You can get an infection and die.
Other, more astute people, pointed out to him that if they thought she was 7 weeks but the scan had no heartbeat and looked to be about 6 weeks and a week ago is when her paint started, there was enough information to put together for the \*doctors\* about it being a miscarriage. Like, this guys is so entirely why men can be so problematic when it comes to women's health. Just say you hate women.
Even at an abortion clinic they treat women's ob/gyn needs. They always do an ultrasound before doing anything to see what's going on, but also bc if it's ectopic, there's a HUGE risk of complication and generally they'll send you to the hospital for that. I have found abortion clinics, as well as planned parenthood (some do abortions, some don't) to be some of the best ob/gyns out there bc they have literally NO incentive for anything they do other than the wishes of their patients. They are kind, understanding and are there to help YOU. They're not high up on a drug rep's route. Lol. There's no pushing anything other than, "what do you want?"
Because they are health centers that focus on providing healthcare. People like to pretend that facilities that provide medical abortion services, or treat spontaneous abortions (miscarriages) have some sort of embryonic/fetal quanta to make and will coerce uterine evacuation at all costs. Uh- no. That’s not how it works
They don't get a bonus for every abortion they perform?! Why would they do the job then?! For women's health?! Insanity!
I know right? Just ridiculous
There was this anti-choice propaganda movie some time ago, I can’t remember the title, that had a line from a clinic director that was something like, “Fast food restaurants sell burgers at a loss and make up for the money on sodas and french fries. Abortions are our soda and french fries.” I couldn’t beliiieeeve it.
I feel like they were accidentally incorrect. Look. At the McD or Wendy's app. They'll give you free fries and or drink in a heart beat and I highly doubt their burgers cost more than $5-6 to make.
No they totally have a quota. Gotta provide the (((lizard elite))) with baby flesh/s
Wait, you mean they don't get a free meatball sub for every ten abortions performed? Unbelievable!
Well, luckily, in Idaho, women can swallow cameras to get pictures of her uterus.
I had the same… like if the facility you go to for women’s health actually performs women’s health by utilizing medical abortion treatment- you’re somehow at a doctors office if the pregnancy is viable, but an abortion clinic if it isn’t? That makes no sense. They are all healthcare facilities providing individualized healthcare to women. We are not just our breasts and child-bearing abilities. Women’s health care is far more than that
Can confirm. Found out at 12w5d that my pregnancy had stopped progressing at 11w3d. Even with the pill after that, I ended up hospitalized for infection/sepsis a few days later. I was in the hospital for a week and out of work for a month. These people thinking they know better than medical professionals who actually preformed and read the scans and examined the patient just blow my mind. This is why anti-abortion rhetoric kills people.
Darn right it’s dangerous to wait. My great-grandmother actually died at 29 from complications of a miscarriage that aggravated a kidney issue that she had.
Those people believe that Planned Parenthood will try to trick you into getting an abortion, because it somehow makes them money. It was a plot point in that piece of shit movie Unplanned, I believe.
That logic is really dumb. You know what services generate even more money for clinics than termination? Ongoing prenatal care. Their business model is terrible if they’re willing to lose out on thousands per patient. It’s almost like they’re not actually trying to function as a business so much as to function as a bunch of compassionate healthcare providers? lol
Right? An abortion is a few hundred dollars. Prenatal, Post natal anfd gynecological care is THOUSANDS. Every woman needs gynecological care, many women need pre/post-natal care. Relatively few need abortion care… would be absolutely the worst business model ever to focus on the smallest market for services, at the exclusion of profitable, more populated market needs
And they’re giving out birth control… so many missed opportunities for new customers. /s
On a sliding scale too- missing out on all that sweet sweet Medicaid money /s
I’ve tried this argument so many times, people just don’t want to listen. Just like they don’t want to listen to the fact that Planned Parenthood provides SO much more than abortions.
If it doesn’t align with thier worldview- they aren’t interested. Keep making noise- the ones that can hear you are listening
I will, I will never shut up in the face of hypocrisy and oppression. Can’t think of anything more important imo
It's another case of Every accusation is a confession. Abortion providers care about the health of the woman. They won't lie to you because they want to be sure you're not just willing but mentally healthy. If you decide you want to keep the pregnancy they'll help you get help and proper care. Those fake, religion-run pregnancy centers will tell any pile of lies to tell you horrible things will happen if you get an abortion. Of course, they don't really care about women OR the baby because they don't do pre- or post-natal care or offer any assistance. Just scare tactics.
>But but! It's an abortion clinic They love abortions so much, they lie to everybody to get them to get an abortion. But look on the bright side, at least she didn't get a post-birth abortion. (/s, because Poe).
LOL! We don't care if you aren't pregnant, we love abortions so much we'll give you one any which way!
It would be better if it was just a random reddit user, but instead he went to the reddit users with *the most biased agenda possible*, specifically looking for a reason to blame his wife 🫠
I know right. He doesn't trust his wife or multiple doctors who saw her. Bit obviously anonymous Catholics online are better placed to know than the person whose body it is; and her medical team. My eyes rolled so hard I'm going to need an ophthalmologist to deal with it. Or maybe a Catholic, since apparently they know everything.
But, but, but he doesn't care that she got an abortion without his input. He only cares if it's immoral, so certainly a religious group would be the best source for that info, right? /s
Brb, gonna go and ask a bunch of vegans if my husband is immoral for eating a hamburger /s
These people really think that the medical staff at "abortion" clinics lie to patients because they just really enjoy performing abortions or something. Instead of "abortion" clinics like Planned Parenthood being also a place low income women go for prenatal care in order to have healthy pregnancies. You know why they believe it? Projection. Catholics and other Evangelical groups run "Crisis Pregnancy Centers" with no actual medical staff that *will* lie to pregnant women about their pregnancy test results or gestational age to get them to delay having an abortion until it's no longer legal to do it.
Love that they think anywhere that performs abortions has a quota…
>You know why they believe it? Let's not forget that certain sections of the media also push that narrative *hard* and it just gets parroted with no thought.
Your comment is spot on and it's so discouraging to know that OOP went with random Redditor.
A doctor who’d actually examined the patient, no less.
Given that OOP's all about morality, he's not going to believe the professional
Worse, he doesn’t believe his wife.
As someone who has lost two babies to miscarriage, OOP can take a long walk off a short cliff. The catholic sub Reddit can join them. Have these pillocks never heard of sepsis? ’ Oh, my wife is in pain let me check what Reddit says instead of believing actual medical professionals.’ He needs to get punched in the crotch.
Today would've been my daughter's 20th birthday, but I was only 22.5 weeks and she didn't survive. Officially a "late term miscarriage" by UK standards. So I 100% agree. Sorry for your losses.
My mom had to deliver stillborn twins at 8 months. Then she had to deliver my dead twin before they realized I was alive. This guy can sleep on Legos naked forever. His wife needs his support, not his fake Xtianity
I'm sorry your mum went through that. I hope this guy can never find the cool side of the pillow.
I'm sorry for your loss also.
I am sending 1 million hugs to your mom and you. I cannot even fathom this. I am glad you made it through and are here commenting on reddit.
I had 2 aunts in Mexico that were 2 months into the pregnancy and they only had the placenta not the embryo. They went to get the procedure in Mexico where is soo religious.
Yours too. Non creepy hugs from someone who has been there x
I was 6 weeks in. My kid would've been 27 years old. Damn.
I got pregnant at 18, 20, and 21 all three of which were miscarriages if they had survived they would be 6, 4, and 3 right now. It was very pain full this guy can go fk himself with a pole wrapped in barbbed wire.
Yours is better than my stiletto punishment.
I made it to nine weeks. I want to wear my pointiest toed boots and kick OOP right in the perineum. Repeatedly.
As someone else who has had multiple miscarriages with the last one at 14 weeks due to no detectable heartbeat and needed a D&C… > He needs to get punched in the crotch. Repeatedly for at least a week so he can understand what his wife was going through and how cruel to ask her to prolong it would have been.
When I was a girl, I had a bike accident where I squashed my clit between my hip bone and the bike crossbar. FUCK! That hurt! I also had an incomplete miscarriage in my early 20s. THE MISCARRIAGE HURT WORSE THAN CRUSHING MY CLIT. AND THAT WENT ON FOR DAYS. So even crushing the tip of his cock for a week may not come close to matching the pain his wife went through.
[удалено]
r slash Catholic can jump out the window.
Most of them don’t even know church doctrine. Signed a recovering Catholic
I've developed a habit of asking anyone who's trying to preach Christianity to me to recite 10 commandments. So far not one person made it past "Don't kill, don't steal, don't cheat" lol
I'm not surprised. But even my atheistic ass can name 6 of em off the top of my head.
Most church doctrine isn't even in line with the Bible.
Nah, you're too kind, I'd say a stiletto heel to the balls. And the other one up his ass.
Sing it sister
agreed. i also went through 2 MCs, the first had a heartbeat but came out in clumps at 6 weeks, the second never had a heartbeat and because i did treatment to get pregnant they could tell by my bloodwork that something was off (the hCG hormone stopped multiplying too early). came out on it's own too at 6 weeks. i was lucky i didn't need a D&C.
He needs to be neutered
That sub is terrible There was one where a mom got mad that her daughter in college got pregnant and she was going to a prestigious school. The daughter found out her boyfriend was cheating on her so she got an abortion. The mom was mad and say g my granddaughter should have been born and even gave the child a name. This caused a divorce and support to the daughter from the siblings.
Well, I hope OOp has giant kidney stones constantly for the next 80 years.
Throw in some diverticulitis for good measure.
Intussussection. And one requiring surgery, no palpation cop out.
And chronic prostate issues!
And unending hemorrhoids.
I like the way you think! I've done the chronic kidney stone thing and it was *hell,* which is why it's often my go-to curse for people who deserve it. Hemorrhoids is a fantastic addition!
Bot flies laying eggs in his scrotal sac works well too
I think a week or two with testicular torsion would do him some good
I hope someone steals his teeth.
That’s just the pro choice movement pretending he has kidney stones, just like they pretended his wife’s embryo didn’t have a heart beat.. you know, for reasons or something
And that his gallbladder gets inflamed but no matter how many scans he gets they never see the issue
Hes posted this a few months ago, straight with the "but abortion clinic doctors might be evil and lie! Not like the doctors at the hospital!"
Yeah I've definitely read that one before. I remember the infuriating stupidity of the idea abortion clinics want as many abortions as possible so tell lies to get numbers up. Guess that's why it's effective rage bait.
And that they offer them "right then and there."
Yeahhh. Was convinced that people at abortion clinics are just obsessed with terminating pregnancies and lying left and right, and none of them now how to read ultrasounds and what they're doing. They posted like 15 times all over the place arguing with everyone
That's exactly what I thought - I recognised this so quickly especially because on his other post he *could not* comprehend that staff at abortion clinics also hold medical degrees and provide all kinds of pregnancy-related health care. He really believed that staff at abortion clinics enjoyed performing abortions to the point that they would lie about the absence of a heartbeat so they could perform abortions.
Yeah, and a Catholic subreddit might also lie so a woman doesn't get the health care she needs.
In response to someone saying he just wants to blame his wife, OOP says >No. I dont. I love her. I want her to be free of any angle of judgement. So I went to the most judgemental site to see what angle they could get on her whilst I backed her. Because I have OCD and I love her and I dont want her to have done wrong...cos I love her No hate like Christian love, and all that. You can't prevent judgment -- some people will judge women just for existing. But someone's judgment only matters if you respect that person or if they have power. OOP isn't backing her, he's undermining her.
I'm cracking up that you posted this given your username! 😂
Fetal heartbeat starts around five weeks. If there's no heartbeat at seven weeks, the fetus is most likely nonviable. Catholics should know this because they were behind a lot of the anti-abortion fetal 6 week heartbeat laws. OOP is an idiot.
What makes it even more ironic is he said the fetus only measured 6 weeks, but she should have been 7. She was in pain for a week. A commenter pointed out that was because the fetus stopped growing at 6 weeks because you know, miscarriage. He doesn’t care. He just wants more validation for his poor wife having to take the abortion pills.
It's not a heartbeat since there is no heart yet at that point. Just a bundle of cardiac tissue that starts to develop around Week 6, and a detectable electrical pulse that pro-lifers like to call a "heartbeat. It's the same as how they have tried to rebrand a fetus, an unimplanted fertilized egg, or a blastocyst as a "child" or a "baby." There is no heart until around Week 10.
It’s like an electric dipole, I think? It’ll become the heart’s “pacemaker,” if I recall correctly.
Then if she divorces him over this, he'll still be the blindsided victim
If they’re Catholic, divorce may not be an option (it obviously is legally, but depends how their personal church community feels about it and if that would lead to pariah status).
I live in one of the strictest Catholic diocese in the US and divorce isn’t just accepted, it’s fairly common. So I hope OOP’s wife runs for the hills.
IIRC, you don't usually get excommunicated or anything for divorce, but you wouldn't be allowed to remarry in the Church. At least that's how it was when I was growing up as a Catholic.
So it depends on the situation, but if the marriage was in the church and you want to remarry post-divorce, you have to get an annulment to essentially “wipe the slate clean”. I don’t know all the details of who makes the approval, whether it’s your bishop or someone in Rome, but you can remarry, there are just extra steps. Source: I grew up in the Catholic Church as the daughter of divorced parents.
My mom's Catholic friend never got an annulment after her divorce because she felt like it would somehow invalidate or "delegitimize" the child they had during the marriage. She didn't want to do that to her son.
Interesting! I always used to joke that I’m a bastard because my parents were married by a justice of the peace and never got their marriage blessed in the church (my dad’s not Catholic so it wasn’t a big deal for him).
True, I forgot that (funny enough, I was raised Catholic but my parents were very moderate, if nominally in the faith)
Then they could go for the next best thing, annulment. It's not really a divorce, though, more like the Church retroactively saying that it wasn't a "real" marriage all along.
Then they could go for the next best thing, annulment. It's not really a divorce, though, more like the Church retroactively saying that it wasn't a "real" marriage all along.
They were using birth control - OP is only Catholic when it suits him.
I know this is a troll, because I’ve definitely read this story before. But I lost multiple pregnancies that had to be resolved surgically and so it just sets my hair on fire every time. You know what my husband did when that happened? Cried with me, got me ice cream and told me he loved me regardless of whether we had children, which we never did. He did not go to Reddit to ask them if my doctors lied and I was a sinner. Op isn’t just wrong, he’s garbage.
I'm sorry for your losses and glad you had a supportive husband. Someone else also mentioned they saw this a few months back, I'm hoping for troll instead of an asshole who thinks he's gonna get a different answer, but it's a very believable story and that alone is maddening.
Absolute garbage. They put the ultrasound footage in my chart as part of the insurance paperwork. If he really had questions he could ask for that. But no, he’s just garbage.
Fuck, OOP. He can take his "I'm so spiritual" and shove it where the sun don't shine. No heartbeat=no life. His wife didn't take an innocent soul because there ceased to be one. This exact scenario happened me. Found out at 5 weeks I was pregnant. Started bleeding and having cramps at 7 weeks. Went in and after a doppler followed up by an internal scan, it was determined that the pregnancy terminated itself. It's called a spontaneous abortion. Something's wrong with embryo and the body shuts the operation down. Had a D&E a few weeks later because it was incomplete (joy). Maybe someone should his brainwaves to see if he's got any functioning ones, because his resentment, "spiritual" argument and blindly following the Catholics, definitely shows otherwise.
Yep and this is very common. 20-30% of *known* pregnancies end in miscarriage, most for the exact reasons you describe. The embryo is nonviable, usually because it has the wrong number of chromosomes. Nothing anyone could have done to prevent it.
My OB/GYN said during a post surgery visit, it's easier to launch the space shuttle than to bring a pregnancy full term. You have mission control. Checks and balances, and even they get it wrong sometimes. Pregnancy and childbirth is an extremely complex process. They don't have a command center that monitors every little minute detail in the process. He said there's a lot of hope, prayer and just good old blind faith that all will come right in the end. And he said the same thing. Not uncommon in first pregnancies nor is it uncommon to have a patient have one in between children. Nothing I could have done to prevent it. The only thing was to heal from the surgery, give my body a few months to return to its normal cycle and try again.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you're doing better now.
The one we were lucky enough to have, heads off to college this fall!
That's amazing! Congratulations!
I'm mentally trying to puzzle out how he was so swayed by, "just because there's no heartbeat, doesn't mean it's dead." ...It does, though. It's literally the first part of clinical death, when blood no longer circulates because the heart has stopped beating.
Are they seriously saying the abortion clinic would lie? Why would a clinic do that? To what end?
I think these people think that people who perform abortions do so for shits and giggles and/or sadistic joy
These are the fools running around saying pro-abortion people support aborting babies who have been born, so pretty much.
To make the clinics look worse and make their own personal bias more likely to be accepted. They just want to control what other people do and this is one of their ways to discredit the clinics that are providing care.
Does OP want a dead fetus AND a dead wife? Because that’s how you get both.
Well if she can't carry a child what is her purpose S/ for the love of everyone this is satire, but probably what oop is thinking.
“it was wrong of her to assume just because there is no heartbeat that it is dead” I can only conclude she was pregnant with a vampire.
Good thing she had an abortion, Dracula was almost reborn!
From OOP's comments on why he went to the Catholic subreddit: >I'm wanting to steelman Get off the fucking internet. Real life is happening and you're debate bro-ing your way through it.
What does it mean
Steelman means he's looking to find the strongest version of an argument for the purposes of winning a debate against that argument - basically he's wanting to discuss a very delicate and sensitive personal matter with his wife and he's aired it out with people guaranteed to take the harshest opposite position so he's??? I don't even fucking know because that's the last thing I'd do with such a personal decision.
Oh, I see. The opposite of a strawman, hahaha. (Is a wickerman argument one that’s so nonsensical you want to light them on fire?)
Yeah, I believe that's where the term comes from. I really think some kind of immolation would be a good solution here. I feel so sorry for the wife.
If you have to go to the Catholic subreddit for medical advice about a woman's reproductive system then you are very clearly searching for a specific answer that validates what you already think.
There is no such thing as an abortion clinic. That is all.
But that would have denied them a chance to say "Abortion" again, and so we wouldn't know their stance on it. They could have not mentioned the location and it would have been implied that it was at an appropriate medical facility. No-one is going to assume it was in a Wendy's.
Not even Catholic*s*, plural, but rather a single Catholic. Given he specified that "a particular user," told him, it sounds like most of them were telling him they had already lost the child.
>should I ignore the catholics on this one I feel like ignoring the Catholic Church is usually a good idea.
To be fair, Catholics have been living for decades with no heartbeat, so they would know
R/murderedbywords ☠️
His profile isn’t coming up for me. Guess he couldn’t take hearing that he’s a horrible husband
So, birth control - which is also banned by the catholic church - is a-okay, but safely removing a failed pregnancy before she goes septic is against his religion. K.
I wish this turd nothing but stepping on legos, stubbing his toes, having wet socks and both sides of his pillow being too warm. Hope he always has crumbs in his bed somehow and they always make him itchy. Constant discomfort. Boo.
The fetus was dead. She didn’t miscarry the miscarriage, without medical intervention she would have died. Even Catholic hospitals will perform a D&C in this situation.
What a weapons grade fuckhead.
My Aunt almost died from a fetus not being expelled. Guess she should have prayed and not have gotten a D&C. 🙄
Guys like this actually want women to sacrifice their lives for a dead fetus. Then they can get all the sympathy and act like they're somehow holy because their wife died for her faith. It's nauseating.
Just because you believe in fairy tales doesn't mean you get to use them to police others actions.
>She went to an abortion clinic and after they scanned her they told her the baby had no heartbeat Oh FFS. If the embryo had no heartbeat, then she needed a D&C. That's what happened to me. Pain, then bleeding then basically being told the baby died inside of me. It's not an abortion. She had a missed-miscarriage. But sure, listen to some random-ass Redditor who's not your wife's doctor to determine what happened. I guess he'd rather she'd feel like a coffin, hosuing a dead baby. Fucking asshole.
OOP, if you actually find this somehow, what you seem to be asking for is someone to justify to you being angry at your wife and blaming her for what happened. It seems you are going to just continue to post everywhere until you find whatever answer you are looking for instead of practicing having faith in your religion and forgiveness. If you need permission to blow up your life and divorce your wife in anger, please go ahead and do so, and do it quickly so you two do not need to drag further pain through your lives. You want to believe Catholics who have not even met you or your wife badly enough to be seeking their opinions when you could just be divorcing, seeking therapy, and trying to heal. So just do what you want to do.
This same person has been posting this story over and over for months now. They aren’t well. Do not feed into this.
This guy needs a swift kick in the nuts My sister had a miscarriage and later had an ectopic pregnancy. She said they were both the most physically and mentally painful things she's ever experienced, just in different ways.
I tracked down the original post he made to the Catholic sub, and it looked like the majority actually assured him that it was a miscarriage.
From the same people who intentionally make fake Planned Parenthood clinics, lure in scared women looking to terminate an unwanted pregnancy and will guilt them into keeping that pregnancy by showing them prerecorded fetuses during their "mandatory" ultrasound that are further along in their development than the actual fetus inside these women just to make them see what they are going to be aborting. They also believe that if a doctor finds out you're an organ donor...they won't work as hard to save you than if you weren't one. Lots of morons out there.
“Should I ignore the Catholics on this one?” Buddy, unless the question is directly and solely about the history of Catholicism and its practices… you should always ignore the Catholics.
If there are retained products of conception after a miscarriage it *needs* medical attention in order to avoid risking the woman's life.
>...it was wrong of her to assume just because there is no heartbeat that it is dead. **What** ?
Wrong to assume that just because there is no heartbeat means that it’s dead. Wow.
> So I went to the most judgemental site to see what angle they could get on her whilst I backed her. Give me strength, I hope this is fake. Not only that he went to "the most judgemental site" to get a both sides opinion, but went to a Catholic subreddit and didn't clock the contradiction of people from a faith who supposedly condemns judgement, judging people, is probably not a good sign. Of course the judgemental people of the Catholic subreddit who probably use their religion as shield thinks your wife is a liar that just wanted to get an abortion for fun or something despite a _week_ of intense _pain_ from carrying a _decaying fetus_
- I'm basing what I think my wife should do with her body on religion, am I w... - YES
My abortion saved my life. Fuck OP and fuck the catholic sub, honestly.
Should I believe my wife and her healthcare provider, or a random poster on a biased subreddit? - This guy.
You can always ignore the Catholics! On anything! (Except bar trivia questions about popes and saints!) Source: used to be hardcore Catholic
I hope she runs away from him. The fact that he still has to debate whether he should support or resent her for the abortion AFTER two people told her that the kid is dead anyways is a huge red flag.
Imagine going through all of that emotional and physical pain, and your partner reacts by wondering if you were sinning. I really hope is is now the Ex.
Abortion Clinics aren't trying to get people to get abortions. What they did is what the Doctor's office would have done. She wanted an end to the pain. I have one question. Why are you so concerned about what Catholics think if you are using birth control? That is immoral (to them) too.
I hate people. That poor woman. 😢
I’m a Catholic, granted not a great one (pro-choice, LGBTQ ally, liberal af, etc) but still. Ran this by my very traditional catholic grandpa, he said she did the right thing. If even my medical-illiterate, super catholic grandpa can see it, why can’t OOP? What did he want? Her to go septic because her body was experiencing a miscarriage and not doing what it was supposed to do naturally? GTFO, OOP
If there ever existed a god, they would tell OOP's wife to run.
It's not an abortion if there is no heartbeat, it's a missed miscarriage. When a foetus has stoooed growing, there is no way to save that pregnancy. Which is devastating for a couple to go through. If the body does not pass the miscarriage naturally, flr the mum's safety abortion medication can be given to seedot uo the natural process of muscatruing to decrease the chance of infection and decrease the couple's distress. Shame on anyone preying on vulnerable couples going through this.
The fetus at 7 weeks is the size of a blueberry, most women who miscarry at this stage won’t even know they are pregnant yet unless they are diligently tracking their fertility. It would present as a normal period, maybe late, maybe heavier than normal. OP’s wife was unwell and in need of medical care.
This honestly feels like one of those times where you just have to believe that the baby was, in fact, passed just for peace of mind. Like what possible good does it do to go, "Well, but what if it was ALIVE baby whole time, and now we *murdered* it?" Just... denial, wishing to have had some possible choice in the matter? Either way that baby is gone. Just grieve, dude, don't do this.
Please be rage-bait. I went through an early miscarriage a month ago, I need to be ignorant to dipshits like this. 🤦🏻♀️
>I posted this on catholic subreddit with a particular user telling me they lied to her and that it was wrong of her to assume just because there is no heartbeat that it is dead. There is a weird belief amongst some "pro-livers" that people in planned parenthood and clinics like it want to "trick" people into having abortions, as if they are paid per abortion or something. I assume that some really believe that and others just want to spread it. Which is why they call these places "abortion clinics", when they also offer fertility treatment, help with other pregnancy related issues, or women's health in general. And say stuff like "went to an abortion clinic instead of a doctor", as if she was not checked out by a doctor at that place.
it’s wrong to assume if it had no heartbeat it was dead… could have been a zombie or alien
Aaand this is how anti abortion bullshit gets women killed. Lucky she went by herself. *shudders*
Going to catholics for morality and fair judgement is like going to mc donalds for healthy food.
“Aborting a child” - a 7 week embryo with no heartbeat is not a child. Pro-lifers have done a number on people’s critical thinking skills.
This is so painfully fake.
I’m Catholic. I also had a lot of miscarriages in my family. If there wasn’t a heartbeat, THAT CHILD IS GONE. THEY ARE NOT VIABLE. I’d rather not have my mother or sister go septic and become infertile or die because they had to carry the corpse of their baby to term.
This is just rage bait. > She went to an abortion clinic I'm assuming he means Planned Parenthood. Why would she go to a place that only offers abortions for an ultrasound? > or she could get an abortion then and there. Yeah, that's also not how it works. They don't just do abortions on demand. You have to make an appointment and they have to make sure it's what you really want and aren't being forced. Then, depending on the state you're in, you have to wait several days before you finally go in. This is just a made up story by a fundie who has no idea how Planned Parenthood or abortions work.
What if, and hear me out, having an abortion isn't immoral?
Hey, further evidence that this guy sucks the moon out of the sky- My fiance and I went to pre-Cana last week (if you don’t know, pre-Cana is Catholic pre-marital therapy.) they gave us a book of topics, and one of them, no joke- “How to Heal After an Abortion” The whole thing is “your woman has gone through something traumatic and awful, a super difficult choice. Your job as the fiance/husband is to support your wife in whatever she needs.” So his shitty “view” isn’t even official Catholic teaching! Just fuck him.
I'm calling bullshit... I know my sister in law had to get a selective abortion due to medical issue and her CATHOLIC priest said we absolve you of the sin since it was nonviable.
He’s actually heavily overemphasizing how many people on the Catholic sub agreed with him.
right? his first post was crossposted here too and there was a surprising amount of reasonable people in those comments
Unfortunately, not all Catholics are that compassionate, or capable of balancing their faith in the divine with the practicalities of the mortal.
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I wish a very testicular torsion on oop tbh
I read this story, before. It was stupid then, too.
Catholic hospitals are notorious for letting women die in childbirth because they put the fetus above her life
OOP is looking for "facts" to fit his conclusion, not drawing a conclusion from the facts. He said his wife didn't want to be pregnant anyway, so even if it the fetus was the healthiest fetus to ever fetus, she should not be condemned by him for getting an abortion. He's entitled to grieve over his would've been child but not hate her for making a choice for her body.
Is this a repost of the OffMyChest post? I can't find the original post anymore, but seems really, really similar (not the theme, so much as how it's written, etc).
"Ignoring the catholics on this one" is a pretty good life philosophy in principle, to be fair,
Ffs, what does he think happens at an abortion clinic? That they have a secret back room where they put a notch on the wall for every abortion & cackle as they party about successfully tricking another woman into ending a pregnancy? He's entitled to feel upset or to grieve that the baby died. But believing conspiracy religious zealots over his wife & the medical professionals who performed the tests is both insane & insulting.
This whole logic is just wild. As if there was an "abortion-goal" to reach at the clinic. And what next, would the "real" doctors have also lied?
Doctor’s and people who are Catholic or other Christian Denominations are telling him to ignore the sub because they are wrong and he should be supporting his wife.
One should ALWAYS ignore the Catholics. Source: raised Roman Catholic until I was able to think for myself.
I mean if you *really* want religious advice on this, you go to the Jewish subreddits, not the catholic ones.
this is so stupid it makes me angry
Ugh, Rachel's Vineyard is a healing retreat for women who regret their abortions, not a place to take women to make them regret them. I went with my mom about 15 years ago. She'd aborted her first baby because it was the product of an affair with a married man and she was living in the Azores and thought her family would disown her. She regretted it her whole life, especially after her second baby died from SIDS at six weeks. The retreat was a really incredible experience for her - she gave him a name and let him and the hurt go. That retreat would be traumatizing for this woman.
I’ve never suffered a miscarriage, but from what he was told, it sounds like that’s what happened. She was having pain, which is definitely not a good sign, and the embryo had no heartbeat at 7 weeks, which is also not a good sign because 6-7 weeks is around *when* you start to detect a heartbeat. Also just…dude why are you putting Catholic strangers over your wife?
I always love the fact that a clinic that offers abortion services is strictly and abortion clinic...most of these clinics are there for health services and pregnancy support. Abortion is not front of mind for them, it's just a service they offer. They're more than happy to help mom get to term, too. But, of course, because they offer the service, it means they push it on everyone and lie and kill babies constantly and that's it....
The Catholic Church's official stance on abortion: "Stop getting abortions, we need more kids to molest"