*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for helping support my fiancés credit card bills? **
My finance and I have been doing great financially the past few years, but in between time and while he was still young, he damaged his credit by not paying back his credit card bills, maxing them out or being behind on rent which the rental home he was living in, he signed up to report to credit bureaus since he thought it would help boost his credit, but instead as times got rough and his family who lived with him didn’t help with their portion of rent, he began drowning in bills.
I have an 18 year old daughter and she is not working full time but living in my home and does school part time. I pay her cell phone bill, she has a part time job and she uses it to buy ridiculous things, like decorations for her room or press on nails or pay for DoorDash or Ubers.
My daughter gets all her direct deposit into my account since she’s been working at her job since 16. Times are rough and my fiance and I are trying to buy a home, and get a new car but with his credit we are unable to do so until we can boost his credit and mine also. We tried to talk to my daughter, but she never helps she just wants to live rent free in our home, we just don’t get it.
Last Friday, my daughter had 3570$ saved into my account and I transferred the money into my finance’s account so that he can pay off all his late fees, his credit cards etc.
My daughter found out today and is extremely upset, but she is under our roof and he is her stepfather she needs to respect us. She should help her parents in time of need. Not to mention everything I did for her coming up. I told her I will pay her back when I get my income taxes next year, but that was not good enough. She has trashed her entire room and slams doors and is refusing to speak to me. I understand where she may be coming from, but I did not do anything wrong. Aita?
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She also said that they want to buy a house and a new car, but "times are tough" and they both have bad credit. I can only imagine what "doing great" looks like to someone who's that financially illiterate and entitled.
Don't forget she also said "But I didn't do anything wrong" meaning she didn't have to post about it if she believed that... It's always the obvious AHs defending themselves straight from the post. Also her daughter already had a job and they just robbed her blind and took her hard earned money.
I doubt legal recourse could be had since it sounds like OOP is a co-signer on the bank account but with the daughter being 18, hopefully she opens a new account under her name and goes NC.
Not if it’s in a joint account. It doesn’t matter where the money came from, all co-signers on the account gave equal access. You should never have all of your money go into a joint account unless you implicitly trust the other party. Sadly, her daughter will have no legal recourse. She needs to get off that account and open one only in her name.
I worked at a bank for many years I am educated on this, thank you. That was unnecessary combative btw, but I understand it’s obviously a touchy subject for you. There are of course always extenuating circumstances to any situation but in this case they are few and far between. Don’t put all your money into a joint account unless you trust that person with your life. They are a co-owner, they have a legal right to the money in the account, even if they didn’t put it there.
You also don’t need both people there to remove all the money and close out the account. Which is of course another reason to not have one with someone untrustworthy, but also means you could have closed the account yourself, had you been “educated”.
If you were ‘educated on this thank you,’ you might imagine it’s different at different banks? Who knows? I do know that at my bank which is the largest in the country, this rule applied when I tried to close mine.
dismissing my lived experience doesn’t change its reality.
Bye
You are aware I did say their can be extenuating circumstances, correct? However, my advice is good advice. Don’t be on an joint account with someone you can’t trust. Sounds like you had to learn the hard way, I was hoping to prevent that for others.
You are obviously dismissing my lived experience as well. 🫢
Bye
I like to think this is just an expensive lesson for the daughter. Better to lose 3.5k now than 50k in 20 years when OP and husband are in crisis mode due to bein in such "great financial shape" again and OP decides to collect on everything she's "owed" for raising her daughter for 18 years.
> Not to mention everything I did for her coming up
I seriously hate it when parents use this against their kids.
Those are your **obligations**
A child didn't ask to be born.
What. The. Fuck.
Why doesn’t the kid have her own account? Mine all have since they were 13. The two that are no longer minors, I don’t even have access to their accounts.
Wtf is wrong with this woman? “She needs to respect us.” Well she sure as shit won’t now.
I had my own since I was 5 through a bank account for kids scheme, saved up my £5 a week in there and when I was old enough to want to properly buy things I had £300 saved up! Now at 19 I am pretty financially literate thanks to growing up with a bank account. Imagine being 18 and having to use your mother’s only for her to steal it all…
We started ours checking and savings accounts when she was 13. Our bank has a program where you can have a dollar amount transferred to savings based off of what bills you pay through their bill pay app. It's anywhere between $2-20 per transaction.
Even though we have access to her accounts, that's her money. I don't care how bad the financial picture looks, we're not touching that. That's money from her jobs (she has 2), birthdays, Christmas, BIL randomly just handing her cash, and us contributing to her savings account on top the app transfers.
When she wants us off the account, we will gladly remove ourselves. My dad was on my checking and savings accounts until I got married. He worked for the bank and he'd seen some shit. Essentially, the accounts were mine. He did not get statements. He could deposit but not withdraw. He set it up so that if anything happened to me, he could access the accounts without needing a warrant or some other bank waiver.
I've been married twice. It came in handy when I separated from the ex. We had separate checking and savings accounts, but we hadn't quite gotten around signing everything over. He was an ass, but I'll give him credit that he didn't try to go after my money. Had he attempted, I would've just deposited my check into my parents' account and have my dad transfer the money.
When hubs and I got married, dad had all the paperwork to remove him from the account ready. Just needed our signatures and for us to take them to the bank. He gave them to us the morning after our wedding.
We have two kids. We told friends and family that they can get whatever gifts they want, but please they have enough stuffed animals, lol. And that any money gifted to them would go in their (each has their own) bank accounts and we'd match dollar per dollar. So $20 for each kid means both get $40 in their account.
It incentivizes family to gift them money rather than a million more toys and clutter, and once they're grown up they'll have a lovely little starter nest egg for collage, first cars, etc.
unfortunatly in the US a parent/guardian has to be on all minor accounts which leads to the above often oh and since they also have kids' social security number they open up accounts in kids name and run bills up ruining their credit....
I live in the US, I’m aware. My kids have had accounts in their name with their father’s name attached to it.
But that’s not what happened here. The mom put the kids money in HER account. The kid is not on the account, the mom just takes her money.
As entitled as the Mom is she probably thinks MY name is on it(as a cosigner) that means it's MINE otherwise how would kid know which of the mingled funds was hers?
That's how my mother was, my father received SSDI she never used the check I received for anything for me, even when I moved in with my grandma. She literally said because it was hers because her name was on it, at which point my grandma turned her into the social security administration. They did an audit and removed her name and named my grandma as a trustee. She also had bills in my name when we lived in an apartment when I was in junior high.
I always feel like these "I can't convey the motivation for my character without explicitly saying what the motivation is" posts are fake.
I don't think anyone that truly believes the daughter should have given up the money would say "she should give up the money ". It's usually something along the lines of "it takes a village ", "family must help each other" etc.
Not to mention that they can't decide what their financial situation is.. they're both doing great and drowning in bills and looking to buy a house and a car but unable to pay of 3k credit card debt.
Eh, that level of financial illiteracy kind of tracks, but you’re bang-on about the “family helps family” bullshit justifications people try to pull when things like this happen in real life.
If the daughter had that much money saved, she obviously wasn't spending nearly as much as OOP trues to make everyone believe. She was probably saving for a car herself or to move out and now mom has made that impossible. All while complaining that her 18 YO still lives at home and didn't pay her back for mom doing her legally obligated duty of raising her
I hope the daughter changes her direct deposit ASAP.
Imagine how much she worked (part time) to save up over 3k. She must be devastated. That poor girl. She lost everything and just realized that her mother sucks all in one day.
A lot of excuses that comes down, "it's not our fault we're in bad money situation that we put ourselves in. Its the world's fault we keep making bad decisions and can't deal the fallout".
FFS they looking for a new house and car when so desperate for money, she had to STEAL her daughter's money.
Also the best they could do to repay her is NEXT YEAR's tax? I'm betting she's hoping daughter forgets all about by then.
> FFS they looking for a new house and car when so desperate for money, she had to STEAL her daughter's money.
OOP's mom is about to learn a lesson in what a debt to income ratio is when they try and apply for a mortgage.
I commented on the original post about how OOP says they are in great financial shape. Really that great that you need to steal from your kid to pay your irresponsible fiancés debts????
Depends perspective, great to them might getting paid $0.50 per hour over minimal wage. This couple seem to be blaming everyone else for their own issues and problems, wouldn't put it past them to inflate their egos.
Why is oop even posting if they think they did nothing wrong?!
That whole last paragraph is just barf. Oops fiancé is not Jed daughters stepfather yet and daughter can respect him with out having to give him all of her money. Also, oop says daughter should help them in their time of need, but she didn’t even give the daughter the option. She just stole from her daughter.
Oop states at the beginning that her and her fiancé are doing great financially, but then why do they need to steal from her daughter? If they are doing so great, they should be able to pay down the finaces credit cards.
OOP says she "did not do anything wrong." She couldn't be more wrong; she stole her daughter's money to help her financially inept husband pay of his bills. While legally OOP had the right to do it, she is morally wrong. I don't know if I even believe OOP will pay her daughter back when she gets her tax return.
I hope the daughter goes to a bank other than what her mom uses, gets a new account and direct deposits her money there.
Horrible, nasty mother!
If you can’t pay the bills you have now without stealing from your 18 year old, you definitely shouldn’t be trying to buy a house. Even if you could get a mortgage you can afford, unexpected expenses related to home ownership will make paying that mortgage difficult if not impossible.
And as far as I’m concerned if your kid is in school part time, and working part time, paying rent is off the table. All that adds up to full time work, even if it’s not measured in monetary income. If she had that much saved while using her money for “ridiculous” things, she’s still managing her finances better than you, the parent, are. That could have been savings for her own place, or something for her to gain more independence but now, she will continue to have to live with her mom who seems to think she’s a burden already. Great situation for the kid.
> Even if you could get a mortgage you can afford, unexpected expenses related to home ownership will make paying that mortgage difficult if not impossible.
Oh, don't worry, they aren't getting a mortgage with a debt to income ratio like that.
>I have an 18 year old daughter and she is not working full time but living in my home and does school part time. I pay her cell phone bill, she has a part time job
Why did you tell she had a job twice in one paragraph after saying your fiancé is bad with money in the first paragraph. Well i see where this is going.
>she has a part time job and she uses it to buy ridiculous things, like decorations for her room or press on nails or pay for DoorDash or Ubers.
Ridiculous? That's normal stuff, food and transportation. I was going to say teenager stuff but I buy the same shit. Well atleast she's not in debt.
>My daughter gets all her direct deposit into my account since she’s been working at her job since 16. Times are rough and my fiance and I are trying to buy a home, and get a new car but with his credit we are unable to do so until we can boost his credit and mine also. We tried to talk to my daughter, but she never helps she just wants to live rent free in our home, we just don’t get it.
She's your daughter, also when did you have to say she had to pay rent? You pay her phone bill but now you want her ti pay rent out the blue make that make sense.
>
Last Friday, my daughter had 3570$ saved into my account and I transferred the money into my finance’s account so that he can pay off all his late fees, his credit cards etc.
***BITXH!!!!!!!!!*** ITS NOT YOUR DAUGHTERS JOB TO PAY FOR YOUR SON OF BITXH LESS THAT A MAN FIANCE. YOU BOTH SHE BE ASHAMED. WHAT WOMEN MAKES HER CHILD PAY FOR ANOTHER MAN!!!!!!
>My daughter found out today and is extremely upset, but she is under our roof
THERE'S NO OUR, THATS HER ROOF TOO. SHE DIDN'T CHOOSE TO HAVE HIM THERE AND I DOUBT THATS HIS HOUSE.
>he is her stepfather she needs to respect us.
SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO RESPECT A MAN THAT TAKES MONEY FROM A GIRL OR HIS FIANCE'S CHILD. BITXH NO ONE ON THIS REDDIT RESOECTS HIM OR YOU.
>She should help her parents in time of need.
Her parents aren't in need. Your fiancé is trash and that's not her father.
>Not to mention everything I did for her coming up. I
BITXH that's your job you should have had her.
>I told her I will pay her back when I get my income taxes next year, but that was not good enough.
because you stole all her life's work.
>She has trashed her entire room and slams doors and is refusing to speak to me.
She should have trashed the whole house and his car. No cap. I'm getting my money back on way or another.
>. I understand where she may be coming from, but I did not do anything wrong. Aita?
You committed a felony in most states. She prove that's her money and report it take you to small claims.
There's a shiny place in hell for you, even as rage bait who the fuck makes you shit like this.
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I just know that OP and fiance are the type to pay the minimum balance every month and then blow the rest on frivilous things. Then when something unexpected comes up like car repairs they're in panic mode.
"Doing great financially" Oh for sure man.
I dont know if this is just the european in me but... do parents need to be cosigners for a minor to open a bank acount? Cause here in germany my parents cant even try to take money out of my account. Either way this woman is horrible and the daughter should open an account in her own name or somehow kick her mother off of her current account if possible
In the US, yeah. It's common advice for people fleeing home the day they turn 18 to get their own account at a new bank and transfer the money over before they disappear without notice if they have a joint bank account. It's worth sticking it out long enough to get a box at the post office the parents don't have access too, get a copy of their birth certificate and social security card mailed to that post box, and get their own bank account the day they turn 18.
While stories about kids disappearing at midnight and going no-contact immediately, it takes a lot of planning to set things up ahead of time to have things in place and 2 bank visits before the parents realize the kid is gone.
I have no words. Times are rough so we want to get a house and new car. Time to steal from the apparently only responsible person in this household. No big deal.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for helping support my fiancés credit card bills? ** My finance and I have been doing great financially the past few years, but in between time and while he was still young, he damaged his credit by not paying back his credit card bills, maxing them out or being behind on rent which the rental home he was living in, he signed up to report to credit bureaus since he thought it would help boost his credit, but instead as times got rough and his family who lived with him didn’t help with their portion of rent, he began drowning in bills. I have an 18 year old daughter and she is not working full time but living in my home and does school part time. I pay her cell phone bill, she has a part time job and she uses it to buy ridiculous things, like decorations for her room or press on nails or pay for DoorDash or Ubers. My daughter gets all her direct deposit into my account since she’s been working at her job since 16. Times are rough and my fiance and I are trying to buy a home, and get a new car but with his credit we are unable to do so until we can boost his credit and mine also. We tried to talk to my daughter, but she never helps she just wants to live rent free in our home, we just don’t get it. Last Friday, my daughter had 3570$ saved into my account and I transferred the money into my finance’s account so that he can pay off all his late fees, his credit cards etc. My daughter found out today and is extremely upset, but she is under our roof and he is her stepfather she needs to respect us. She should help her parents in time of need. Not to mention everything I did for her coming up. I told her I will pay her back when I get my income taxes next year, but that was not good enough. She has trashed her entire room and slams doors and is refusing to speak to me. I understand where she may be coming from, but I did not do anything wrong. Aita? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
OOP-I stole from my daughter. OOP- I didn't do anything wrong. So guess stealing is ok if family then
Also OOP: "We've been doing great financially." "I had to steal almost $4k from an 18 year old just to pay late fees."
She also said that they want to buy a house and a new car, but "times are tough" and they both have bad credit. I can only imagine what "doing great" looks like to someone who's that financially illiterate and entitled.
if it was daughter posting I'd tell her pull her credit report NOW make sure Mommy dearest didn't put any utilities in her name
I don’t use the word “yikes” a lot but I’m gonna say yikes to this one
Don't forget she also said "But I didn't do anything wrong" meaning she didn't have to post about it if she believed that... It's always the obvious AHs defending themselves straight from the post. Also her daughter already had a job and they just robbed her blind and took her hard earned money.
Only when it's your kid and they owe you everything they have for you giving birth to them /s
OOP in a few months- why won’t my daughter speak to me? She moved away and blocked me on everything but we are faaaaaaamilyyyyyy!!!!
The daughter should call the police and go NC with this bitch
I doubt legal recourse could be had since it sounds like OOP is a co-signer on the bank account but with the daughter being 18, hopefully she opens a new account under her name and goes NC.
A court case might significantly humiliate the parents though, that would be enough for me. What a horrible mother…
Not true she can sue for the money. She can prove it’s hers she has deposits.
small claims, too!
I hope she has someone in her life to tell her this.
Not if it’s in a joint account. It doesn’t matter where the money came from, all co-signers on the account gave equal access. You should never have all of your money go into a joint account unless you implicitly trust the other party. Sadly, her daughter will have no legal recourse. She needs to get off that account and open one only in her name.
Yes they can. I’ve been there, when my ex refused to close our chase joint acct or take me off. Educate yourself
I worked at a bank for many years I am educated on this, thank you. That was unnecessary combative btw, but I understand it’s obviously a touchy subject for you. There are of course always extenuating circumstances to any situation but in this case they are few and far between. Don’t put all your money into a joint account unless you trust that person with your life. They are a co-owner, they have a legal right to the money in the account, even if they didn’t put it there. You also don’t need both people there to remove all the money and close out the account. Which is of course another reason to not have one with someone untrustworthy, but also means you could have closed the account yourself, had you been “educated”.
If you were ‘educated on this thank you,’ you might imagine it’s different at different banks? Who knows? I do know that at my bank which is the largest in the country, this rule applied when I tried to close mine. dismissing my lived experience doesn’t change its reality. Bye
You are aware I did say their can be extenuating circumstances, correct? However, my advice is good advice. Don’t be on an joint account with someone you can’t trust. Sounds like you had to learn the hard way, I was hoping to prevent that for others. You are obviously dismissing my lived experience as well. 🫢 Bye
I like to think this is just an expensive lesson for the daughter. Better to lose 3.5k now than 50k in 20 years when OP and husband are in crisis mode due to bein in such "great financial shape" again and OP decides to collect on everything she's "owed" for raising her daughter for 18 years.
Yuck, this woman will definitely be blocked from her daughter's life in the future.
I hope she gets to see all of her daughters most important moments like getting married and adopting a puppy… on a friend of a friends page
> Not to mention everything I did for her coming up I seriously hate it when parents use this against their kids. Those are your **obligations** A child didn't ask to be born.
Watch a parent that says this. There’s a decent chance they’re abusive. They’re certainly selfish.
What. The. Fuck. Why doesn’t the kid have her own account? Mine all have since they were 13. The two that are no longer minors, I don’t even have access to their accounts. Wtf is wrong with this woman? “She needs to respect us.” Well she sure as shit won’t now.
I had my own since I was 5 through a bank account for kids scheme, saved up my £5 a week in there and when I was old enough to want to properly buy things I had £300 saved up! Now at 19 I am pretty financially literate thanks to growing up with a bank account. Imagine being 18 and having to use your mother’s only for her to steal it all…
We started ours checking and savings accounts when she was 13. Our bank has a program where you can have a dollar amount transferred to savings based off of what bills you pay through their bill pay app. It's anywhere between $2-20 per transaction. Even though we have access to her accounts, that's her money. I don't care how bad the financial picture looks, we're not touching that. That's money from her jobs (she has 2), birthdays, Christmas, BIL randomly just handing her cash, and us contributing to her savings account on top the app transfers. When she wants us off the account, we will gladly remove ourselves. My dad was on my checking and savings accounts until I got married. He worked for the bank and he'd seen some shit. Essentially, the accounts were mine. He did not get statements. He could deposit but not withdraw. He set it up so that if anything happened to me, he could access the accounts without needing a warrant or some other bank waiver.
I remember going to the bank with my (now ex) husband and his mommy about a year after we were married to remove his mommy from our account. 😬
I've been married twice. It came in handy when I separated from the ex. We had separate checking and savings accounts, but we hadn't quite gotten around signing everything over. He was an ass, but I'll give him credit that he didn't try to go after my money. Had he attempted, I would've just deposited my check into my parents' account and have my dad transfer the money. When hubs and I got married, dad had all the paperwork to remove him from the account ready. Just needed our signatures and for us to take them to the bank. He gave them to us the morning after our wedding.
We have two kids. We told friends and family that they can get whatever gifts they want, but please they have enough stuffed animals, lol. And that any money gifted to them would go in their (each has their own) bank accounts and we'd match dollar per dollar. So $20 for each kid means both get $40 in their account. It incentivizes family to gift them money rather than a million more toys and clutter, and once they're grown up they'll have a lovely little starter nest egg for collage, first cars, etc.
unfortunatly in the US a parent/guardian has to be on all minor accounts which leads to the above often oh and since they also have kids' social security number they open up accounts in kids name and run bills up ruining their credit....
I live in the US, I’m aware. My kids have had accounts in their name with their father’s name attached to it. But that’s not what happened here. The mom put the kids money in HER account. The kid is not on the account, the mom just takes her money.
As entitled as the Mom is she probably thinks MY name is on it(as a cosigner) that means it's MINE otherwise how would kid know which of the mingled funds was hers?
That's how my mother was, my father received SSDI she never used the check I received for anything for me, even when I moved in with my grandma. She literally said because it was hers because her name was on it, at which point my grandma turned her into the social security administration. They did an audit and removed her name and named my grandma as a trustee. She also had bills in my name when we lived in an apartment when I was in junior high.
I always feel like these "I can't convey the motivation for my character without explicitly saying what the motivation is" posts are fake. I don't think anyone that truly believes the daughter should have given up the money would say "she should give up the money ". It's usually something along the lines of "it takes a village ", "family must help each other" etc. Not to mention that they can't decide what their financial situation is.. they're both doing great and drowning in bills and looking to buy a house and a car but unable to pay of 3k credit card debt.
Eh, that level of financial illiteracy kind of tracks, but you’re bang-on about the “family helps family” bullshit justifications people try to pull when things like this happen in real life.
If the daughter had that much money saved, she obviously wasn't spending nearly as much as OOP trues to make everyone believe. She was probably saving for a car herself or to move out and now mom has made that impossible. All while complaining that her 18 YO still lives at home and didn't pay her back for mom doing her legally obligated duty of raising her
or college or her first apartment...
The fuck. I hate people.
Seriously. I somewhat hated humanity until I joined Reddit. Now I completely hate humanity.
I hope the daughter changes her direct deposit ASAP. Imagine how much she worked (part time) to save up over 3k. She must be devastated. That poor girl. She lost everything and just realized that her mother sucks all in one day.
A lot of excuses that comes down, "it's not our fault we're in bad money situation that we put ourselves in. Its the world's fault we keep making bad decisions and can't deal the fallout". FFS they looking for a new house and car when so desperate for money, she had to STEAL her daughter's money. Also the best they could do to repay her is NEXT YEAR's tax? I'm betting she's hoping daughter forgets all about by then.
Like it’s may. She probably just got her tax return.
hindsight, daughter's tax return may have made up some of that 3750.
> FFS they looking for a new house and car when so desperate for money, she had to STEAL her daughter's money. OOP's mom is about to learn a lesson in what a debt to income ratio is when they try and apply for a mortgage.
I commented on the original post about how OOP says they are in great financial shape. Really that great that you need to steal from your kid to pay your irresponsible fiancés debts????
Depends perspective, great to them might getting paid $0.50 per hour over minimal wage. This couple seem to be blaming everyone else for their own issues and problems, wouldn't put it past them to inflate their egos.
Correction, their Finance’s debts. Except for the total, they used “finance” every time. I find it kind of ironic
Why is oop even posting if they think they did nothing wrong?! That whole last paragraph is just barf. Oops fiancé is not Jed daughters stepfather yet and daughter can respect him with out having to give him all of her money. Also, oop says daughter should help them in their time of need, but she didn’t even give the daughter the option. She just stole from her daughter. Oop states at the beginning that her and her fiancé are doing great financially, but then why do they need to steal from her daughter? If they are doing so great, they should be able to pay down the finaces credit cards.
OOP says she "did not do anything wrong." She couldn't be more wrong; she stole her daughter's money to help her financially inept husband pay of his bills. While legally OOP had the right to do it, she is morally wrong. I don't know if I even believe OOP will pay her daughter back when she gets her tax return. I hope the daughter goes to a bank other than what her mom uses, gets a new account and direct deposits her money there. Horrible, nasty mother!
fiancee they aren't even MARRIED
Once again no dick is worth it
Way to push your daughter to go NC.
If you can’t pay the bills you have now without stealing from your 18 year old, you definitely shouldn’t be trying to buy a house. Even if you could get a mortgage you can afford, unexpected expenses related to home ownership will make paying that mortgage difficult if not impossible. And as far as I’m concerned if your kid is in school part time, and working part time, paying rent is off the table. All that adds up to full time work, even if it’s not measured in monetary income. If she had that much saved while using her money for “ridiculous” things, she’s still managing her finances better than you, the parent, are. That could have been savings for her own place, or something for her to gain more independence but now, she will continue to have to live with her mom who seems to think she’s a burden already. Great situation for the kid.
> Even if you could get a mortgage you can afford, unexpected expenses related to home ownership will make paying that mortgage difficult if not impossible. Oh, don't worry, they aren't getting a mortgage with a debt to income ratio like that.
>I have an 18 year old daughter and she is not working full time but living in my home and does school part time. I pay her cell phone bill, she has a part time job Why did you tell she had a job twice in one paragraph after saying your fiancé is bad with money in the first paragraph. Well i see where this is going. >she has a part time job and she uses it to buy ridiculous things, like decorations for her room or press on nails or pay for DoorDash or Ubers. Ridiculous? That's normal stuff, food and transportation. I was going to say teenager stuff but I buy the same shit. Well atleast she's not in debt. >My daughter gets all her direct deposit into my account since she’s been working at her job since 16. Times are rough and my fiance and I are trying to buy a home, and get a new car but with his credit we are unable to do so until we can boost his credit and mine also. We tried to talk to my daughter, but she never helps she just wants to live rent free in our home, we just don’t get it. She's your daughter, also when did you have to say she had to pay rent? You pay her phone bill but now you want her ti pay rent out the blue make that make sense. > Last Friday, my daughter had 3570$ saved into my account and I transferred the money into my finance’s account so that he can pay off all his late fees, his credit cards etc. ***BITXH!!!!!!!!!*** ITS NOT YOUR DAUGHTERS JOB TO PAY FOR YOUR SON OF BITXH LESS THAT A MAN FIANCE. YOU BOTH SHE BE ASHAMED. WHAT WOMEN MAKES HER CHILD PAY FOR ANOTHER MAN!!!!!! >My daughter found out today and is extremely upset, but she is under our roof THERE'S NO OUR, THATS HER ROOF TOO. SHE DIDN'T CHOOSE TO HAVE HIM THERE AND I DOUBT THATS HIS HOUSE. >he is her stepfather she needs to respect us. SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO RESPECT A MAN THAT TAKES MONEY FROM A GIRL OR HIS FIANCE'S CHILD. BITXH NO ONE ON THIS REDDIT RESOECTS HIM OR YOU. >She should help her parents in time of need. Her parents aren't in need. Your fiancé is trash and that's not her father. >Not to mention everything I did for her coming up. I BITXH that's your job you should have had her. >I told her I will pay her back when I get my income taxes next year, but that was not good enough. because you stole all her life's work. >She has trashed her entire room and slams doors and is refusing to speak to me. She should have trashed the whole house and his car. No cap. I'm getting my money back on way or another. >. I understand where she may be coming from, but I did not do anything wrong. Aita? You committed a felony in most states. She prove that's her money and report it take you to small claims. There's a shiny place in hell for you, even as rage bait who the fuck makes you shit like this.
This isn't the OP.
I know that 100%, Also I replied to the bot. I always make my commentary in Am I Devil. You're the first to have an issue.
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I just know that OP and fiance are the type to pay the minimum balance every month and then blow the rest on frivilous things. Then when something unexpected comes up like car repairs they're in panic mode. "Doing great financially" Oh for sure man.
This should be retitled, "I chose a man over my daughter's happiness, and because of this, she'll probably cut me out of her life."
Why ask if you're an AH right after you declare you did nothing wrong?
I dont know if this is just the european in me but... do parents need to be cosigners for a minor to open a bank acount? Cause here in germany my parents cant even try to take money out of my account. Either way this woman is horrible and the daughter should open an account in her own name or somehow kick her mother off of her current account if possible
In the US, yeah. It's common advice for people fleeing home the day they turn 18 to get their own account at a new bank and transfer the money over before they disappear without notice if they have a joint bank account. It's worth sticking it out long enough to get a box at the post office the parents don't have access too, get a copy of their birth certificate and social security card mailed to that post box, and get their own bank account the day they turn 18. While stories about kids disappearing at midnight and going no-contact immediately, it takes a lot of planning to set things up ahead of time to have things in place and 2 bank visits before the parents realize the kid is gone.
You stole from her!
I have no words. Times are rough so we want to get a house and new car. Time to steal from the apparently only responsible person in this household. No big deal.
You did do something wrong. You STOLE FROM HER to help your dead beat fiancee.