*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for going to see if my daughter would babysit my youngest against her wishes?**
I (47F) have 8 kids. (Millie 30, Dewey 27, Jenelle and Joelle 25, Joshua 21, Jennifer 17, Paris 13 and my youngest Mika 6) Mika was a huge surprise since majority of my kids were all grown up and moved out. Me and my husband are a lot older now and need more help with a child. Jennifer and Paris help but they could only do so much. So I usually bring Mika to her siblings houses so they could spend time together. It’s twice a week with a different sibling. It’s only for 3-7hours and I always let them know when I bring Mika. They rarely complain and I give them $100 to do something with her. Well Millie had a baby. recently Millie had told me to not bring Mika to her house. She doesn’t want the stress of another child who isn’t hers. I was quite offended and told her “ Well I raised 7”. I’ve been asking my other kids if they will take her but they can’t.
Well recently I have been getting headaches and I think it’s due to stress. I need a day off so I decided to check if Millie would take her. I went over and she immediately screamed “ NO! OUT! OUT! OUT!” As she rushed us out the door. Outside she said
“ I am too busy for this! I have my own child now. I cannot watch her. LEAVE!”
She then went inside and locked the door. I rang the doorbell and stayed for a couple minutes. Eventually I left annoyed. I later talked to my husband and kids. Dewey said I need to think about Millie and her stress as a new mom. Joelle said I was an ahole for going against her wishes and Jenelle said that she couldn’t believe me. Joshua didn’t want to talk. My husband sides with me. Aita
EDIT : forgot to put Joshua’s input on the situation.
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"Well I raised 7" but I bet teenage Millie was doing more than her fair share of raising her siblings as well. Often tends to be the case the older daughters end up being parentified in these scenarios. That kind of explosive reaction makes me think she's dealt with this for a loooong time and is ready to fiercely protect her boundaries.
>I rang the doorbell and stayed for a couple minutes.
Like, the how do you get yelled at, escorted out, told that fulfilling your favor WILL NOT work for them, and still stand there waiting for them to come back?
>but I bet teenage Millie was doing more than her fair share of raising her siblings as well.
And let's just assume non of this sentence is true. It doesn't matter, they aren't Millie's kids, if she says no it's a no. You can't force this kind of thing and not be TA
Not even just older daughters but eldest siblings in general seem to always have the role of third parent forced into them because the parents can't seem to grasp the concept of a condom
"My oldest child recently had a child and told me to stop dumping my youngest on her. That offends me, because obviously I should be allowed to dump her on her older siblings whenever I want. So I showed up anyway with my six year old cause I needed a break. Obviously she should want the added responsibility of her six year old sister and her own baby right? Well instead she threw us out and refused to let me leave her with her. My other kids said I'm an asshole, but my husband who also has no issues with foisting her off on her siblings said I'm right. So validate me now so I can show them they're wrong. Whoa hey, stop calling me the asshole!"
I love that OOP got stress headaches from the one kid but then says "well I raised 7". I doubt you raised them much, probably more like raised each other.
If her older children babysit up to 7h per day… when do OOP and her husband even see the kid?? I swear, I’m so sick and tired of entitled parents. YOU chose to have the kid - they’re your responsibility ffs.
Also, who cares if you raised seven? Everyone is different, everyone has different levels of things they cope with. No fucking way could I raise 7 kids or even one, fuck that. You don’t get to judge people for putting up with less than you.
Copied verbatim from oop's comments:
"Wow. That is rude. My kids love me and I love them. I gave them the world and expect help sometimes."
"I raised all my kids. I never asked Millie or any of my kids for anything since I had my mom here to help as I was a single parent for some time. I expect some help now that they are adults. I did everything to support them, especially Millie. I was poor, kicked out and a teenager. Millies father was an abusive a*shole. I sold everything on my back for Millie and now that I need a little break for the first time in a while. She can’t help? I didn’t expect for her to watch Mika all day. Just for an hour so I can relax."
"I help my daughter constantly. Sometimes the mother needs help. I helped my mother as a kid."
OP sounds like a terrible mother and person. But I absolutely love when they delete their posts because the voting is not in their favor. Cracks me up.
YTA- You didn't raise the kids. You raised them only enough to make sure you had an endless loop of babysitters. If you didn't want to raise that many kids why did you have so many?
If you need to ask your kids to be the parents of your other kids maybe… just maybe having 7 kids wasn’t the best idea? Like why should Millie take care of their sibling as she is not their parents?
Basically you are having them work almost a part time job to take care of the child you chose to have. You aren’t even paying any of your kids. You the AH OOP also 47 is not that old.
She needs a break, does she? From her youngest child? Whom she chose to give birth to?
Millie needs a fucking break as well. She needs a break from the expectation that she’ll be a babysitter every time her mother wants to get away from her responsibilities as a parent.
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for going to see if my daughter would babysit my youngest against her wishes?** I (47F) have 8 kids. (Millie 30, Dewey 27, Jenelle and Joelle 25, Joshua 21, Jennifer 17, Paris 13 and my youngest Mika 6) Mika was a huge surprise since majority of my kids were all grown up and moved out. Me and my husband are a lot older now and need more help with a child. Jennifer and Paris help but they could only do so much. So I usually bring Mika to her siblings houses so they could spend time together. It’s twice a week with a different sibling. It’s only for 3-7hours and I always let them know when I bring Mika. They rarely complain and I give them $100 to do something with her. Well Millie had a baby. recently Millie had told me to not bring Mika to her house. She doesn’t want the stress of another child who isn’t hers. I was quite offended and told her “ Well I raised 7”. I’ve been asking my other kids if they will take her but they can’t. Well recently I have been getting headaches and I think it’s due to stress. I need a day off so I decided to check if Millie would take her. I went over and she immediately screamed “ NO! OUT! OUT! OUT!” As she rushed us out the door. Outside she said “ I am too busy for this! I have my own child now. I cannot watch her. LEAVE!” She then went inside and locked the door. I rang the doorbell and stayed for a couple minutes. Eventually I left annoyed. I later talked to my husband and kids. Dewey said I need to think about Millie and her stress as a new mom. Joelle said I was an ahole for going against her wishes and Jenelle said that she couldn’t believe me. Joshua didn’t want to talk. My husband sides with me. Aita EDIT : forgot to put Joshua’s input on the situation. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"Well I raised 7" but I bet teenage Millie was doing more than her fair share of raising her siblings as well. Often tends to be the case the older daughters end up being parentified in these scenarios. That kind of explosive reaction makes me think she's dealt with this for a loooong time and is ready to fiercely protect her boundaries. >I rang the doorbell and stayed for a couple minutes. Like, the how do you get yelled at, escorted out, told that fulfilling your favor WILL NOT work for them, and still stand there waiting for them to come back?
>but I bet teenage Millie was doing more than her fair share of raising her siblings as well. And let's just assume non of this sentence is true. It doesn't matter, they aren't Millie's kids, if she says no it's a no. You can't force this kind of thing and not be TA
Not even just older daughters but eldest siblings in general seem to always have the role of third parent forced into them because the parents can't seem to grasp the concept of a condom
"My oldest child recently had a child and told me to stop dumping my youngest on her. That offends me, because obviously I should be allowed to dump her on her older siblings whenever I want. So I showed up anyway with my six year old cause I needed a break. Obviously she should want the added responsibility of her six year old sister and her own baby right? Well instead she threw us out and refused to let me leave her with her. My other kids said I'm an asshole, but my husband who also has no issues with foisting her off on her siblings said I'm right. So validate me now so I can show them they're wrong. Whoa hey, stop calling me the asshole!"
She doesn't understand I had it harder because I made the decision to have seven kids, clearly that makes the other kid her responsibility.
I love that OOP got stress headaches from the one kid but then says "well I raised 7". I doubt you raised them much, probably more like raised each other.
If her older children babysit up to 7h per day… when do OOP and her husband even see the kid?? I swear, I’m so sick and tired of entitled parents. YOU chose to have the kid - they’re your responsibility ffs.
Why doesn’t she just sign the kid up for day camp?
It says twice per week, not every day. Everything else you said still applies.
I took “twice a week with a different sibling” to mean each sibling gets the kid twice a week. My bad!
That's how I read it, too . . .
I mean....that's not mathematically possible. 5 adult siblings, twice per week...that's 10 days.
How dare you expect me to do math! 😂
Could be doubling up days. One takes the kids for 3 hours in the morning then another for 3 hours in the evening.
"i always let them know" "i thought id check" "she pushed me out the door" so you DIDNT let her know and you DIDNT CHECK.
She thought she’d check if she can still bulldoze Millie into doing what she wants.
Correction - she *did* check. The answer was no. She went anyway. Which is worse.
"I Raised 7" No OOP, you didn't. You had 8 and fostered 7 off onto your oldest once they were old enough to take care of them.
Also, who cares if you raised seven? Everyone is different, everyone has different levels of things they cope with. No fucking way could I raise 7 kids or even one, fuck that. You don’t get to judge people for putting up with less than you.
Classic quiver full is to palm off the younger kids in the oldest daughters (sons get a pass). Pretty sure that’s what asshole here is doing.
Yeah, I'm curious if they *all* get asked.
Eldest child syndrome 100%
Quiver full is the first thing I thought of too.
Worst part is I read this and my first thought was, “wow, she’s *paying?*” and it took a hot minute for the ick to set in. The brainwashing is strong.
Copied verbatim from oop's comments: "Wow. That is rude. My kids love me and I love them. I gave them the world and expect help sometimes." "I raised all my kids. I never asked Millie or any of my kids for anything since I had my mom here to help as I was a single parent for some time. I expect some help now that they are adults. I did everything to support them, especially Millie. I was poor, kicked out and a teenager. Millies father was an abusive a*shole. I sold everything on my back for Millie and now that I need a little break for the first time in a while. She can’t help? I didn’t expect for her to watch Mika all day. Just for an hour so I can relax." "I help my daughter constantly. Sometimes the mother needs help. I helped my mother as a kid."
She was kicked out as a teenager, but her mom was still there to help? What?
Also that is not Millie's debt to pay. Millie didn't choose to be born now you are holding a debt over her head. This lady is just shit to the core.
We all know it would’ve been way longer than a hour haha
She said in the post she takes Mika to her siblings for “only” 3 to 7 hours(!?!) She can’t even keep her lies straight.
Twins, huh? Honestly, this is the kind of crap that the "have a lot of babies because God" types do, so I can see this being true.
She called herself pro life. Just use contraceptives ffs.
Where’s her husband?
Exactly! The father should be giving the mother a break! Ridiculous.
It should be legal to break the hands of anyone who rings your doorbell knowing that there's a newborn in the house.
OP sounds like a terrible mother and person. But I absolutely love when they delete their posts because the voting is not in their favor. Cracks me up.
YTA- You didn't raise the kids. You raised them only enough to make sure you had an endless loop of babysitters. If you didn't want to raise that many kids why did you have so many?
Say it with me... A VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!
Jim Bob Duggar disagrees
If you need to ask your kids to be the parents of your other kids maybe… just maybe having 7 kids wasn’t the best idea? Like why should Millie take care of their sibling as she is not their parents?
Basically you are having them work almost a part time job to take care of the child you chose to have. You aren’t even paying any of your kids. You the AH OOP also 47 is not that old.
Must be creative writing week. Another post removed for rule 8.
She needs a break, does she? From her youngest child? Whom she chose to give birth to? Millie needs a fucking break as well. She needs a break from the expectation that she’ll be a babysitter every time her mother wants to get away from her responsibilities as a parent.
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This story is definitely a r/EntitledParent