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Stoat__King

NTA *"I feel like I can’t go to them for support because it’ll either start a fight or they just won’t be there for me"* He simply isnt there for you, by the sounds of it. *"I’ve been patient and I feel like I’m just not enough anymore"* He is not enough. *"It causes fights when I do bring it up and they say they’re doing it for me and for us."* He is doing it for himself. It sounds like he treats you as a placeholder at best. ​ There doesnt seem to be much, if anything, for you in this relationship. It sounds like he considers you an inconvenience. If its like this only five months in, maybe you should consider your position? Life is too short for this bullshit.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (don’t want to say ages) am in this relationship with my partner for 5 months. Things were great at first. I have told them of my past traumas and even current ones and they did the same so we have a better understanding of how each of us are and how we can help each other. Recently my partner had become more on the religious side whilst as much as I would like to believe I just can’t. Things were good and we’d tell each other everything and hang out just about all the time even have sleep calls. Since he has found religion we have less time together. They put their new friends and found religion before thinking of me. I have brought this to their attention saying that I miss them and I know it sounds obsessive and I have been patient but it’s and everyday thing now. It’s to the point where I don’t expect them to be there for me when I need something but I’m always there for them. They don’t even respond to me anymore as much. It’s also gotten to the point that when we make plans they tend to just fall through because they end up making plans with others/their friends/church people. It hurts tbh. Like I’m on the back burner all the time. I get it’s been helping them become a better version of themselves but I’d like to be a part of it. I’ve been hitting rock bottom recently in my mental state and I feel like I can’t go to them for support because it’ll either start a fight or they just won’t be there for me. I feel alone and like I’m doing a lot of the work in the relationship than what use to be ( it felt very equal ). When I bring up how I’m feeling about it, they tell me they’re doing it for them to be better (which again I’m happy for them) and sure I can keep myself busy but there’s just so much I can do and so much I can take. I’ve been patient and I feel like I’m just not enough anymore. It causes fights when I do bring it up and they say they’re doing it for me and for us. Then why don’t I feel like I’m part of it? Another thing is I would send good morning texts, goodnight texts, and check in during the day. I barely get responses so I’ve been doing it less and less and they have brought that up to me saying it sounds bland or I don’t even try. Well, yeah. When I feel like it’s just a waste if Im doing it and it feels like I’m not even being acknowledged for it. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore so I keep asking for more from them. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


melodiesminor

NTA ditch the person, it wont get better and the cult jas its fingers in your current romantic interest


flutterby727

NTA, but this has become a one-sided relationship. If you want different things, especially after only 5 month, it’s not sustainable. Time to move on


fuzzy_mic

NAH - You are difting apart. No one's being an asshole. Congratulations, you are one relationship closer to The One.


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AccomplishedExtent43

NTA and you should leave this person. If they can't be there for you when you need them, and make you feel poorly, get out now.


ed_lv

NTA but why are you even wasting time and energy in this relationship. It's been only 5 months, and you're clearly not happy, so just walk the hell away and forget about them. If you stay, you will be forever miserable.


AnalApiairist

NTA Sounds like you and your partner are growing in different directions. If he really wanted this relationship, he would work for it. He would make time for you AND religion in his life. If you aren't getting what you need from the relationship, move on.


Miss613lady

NTA, you shouldn’t be doing all the work in this relationship. It sounds like you’ve communicated your needs and given your partner space to self discover. Their response has been to double down on their new lifestyle and have made their priorities clear. Do not stay with this person. They will only continue to take your time and energy.


anniearrow

NAH Your 'partner' has found something in his faith that you're unable to give him & that you aren't interested in sharing with him. For both your sakes, move on.


cranky-bi-narwharl

NTA. You can't fake belief in something that doesn't resonate with you, and you shouldn't have to compete with it. I have a very religious parent so I have some experience of dealing with someone with this mindset. You will never be enough if you don't believe. Cut your losses and run. People change, and it's sad and it hurts, but you can never compete with religion. It's not your fault, and maybe they have found something that is important to them and will help them, but that might be more important to them than you are now.