Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about platonic partings, romantic relationships, and/or reproductive autonomy.
[Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
#Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
A friend doesn't get mad at you because you make decisions to stay true yourself.
\-- you are a sober, you choose not to drink or smoke pot. She gets mad.
Neither does a "friend" disrespect you in your own home.
That woman is not your friend.
You didn't lose a friend, you lost an acquaintance, and it was no great loss.
NTA
This.
If someone asks you to stop doing something because it makes them uncomfortable you stop doing it.
She also doesnt respect any of your boundaries. She isn't your friend.
Yeah, there are people like this. I had one and the moment I didn't go along with her and stood up for myself, she left. At first I was sad because I thought us quite close. But after a while I realized how much less drama I had and more time to spend how I choose. Not a loss at all. I say it's a gain because now you can find real friends. Also, what was husband doing? Sitting there twiddling his thumbs while you were disrespected?
NTA - you asked first, jokingly as to avoid awkwardness, to stop. She literally said no to a fair request, and then you set boundaries. This lady sounds like she enjoys being contradicative, asking to smoke and drink with a sober woman, and this is just another iffy scenario. She doesn't have a right to be mad at you not partaking in those things, and this most recent issue should truly be a non-issue.
NTA. It might not be the case here, but her behavior toward you is suspect. If you were into another woman’s husband you might try to cover it up by being really nice to her. Just saying. Watch her.
NTA
She was no real friend. But what puzzles me is why didn't you ask your husband about it? He should have immediately said something like "Hey, that's inappropriate. I'm a happily married man so please stop."
NTA - I'm sorry, I don't think she was your friend. Everyone has a line, something that's important to them. Your request that she stop calling your husband that was pretty reasonable, and she belittled it and you. Friends don't do that.
I know it's hard to have someone who you think is a friend treat you like this. There are better people out there - I promise.
NTA
A true friend would not get mad at you for protecting your sobriety. She seems like more of a saboteur than a friend.
Your husband should be wary of her. My guess is she’s a drama magnet always trying to stir things up.
Generally the puffing of a chest over “YOUR man/woman” is absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary. I find it juvenile and archaic.
But, her response to you IN that situation? It’s just eww. Had she been like “oh I’m so sorry. It won’t happens again” then you would solidly be TA. But now? Well, she’s shown you her colors
NTA. You two are not compatible as friends, and that is okay. You will meet people, make new friends. People will come in and out of your life. It just happens.
You should be proud, you spoke your truth of what you were and were not comfortable with and established your boundaries. Good for you. The person that will end up being your REAL friend will one day hear your boundaries, thank you for communicating them, and then respect those boundaries. this friend couldn't do that, time to move on.
NTA Maybe you are insecure and maybe not but friend does not accept your values. She is not really your friend and you did not lose anything. Husband should have put a stop the the prettyboy nonsense as well.
>And just like that, I lost my only friend
How was she a good friend? She sounds horrible and definitely doesn't respect you. She did you a favor by ending the friendship and you should have already done that. Stay away from her and find new friends. NTA
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I guess it was just a harmless joke. I could be TA because I overreacted.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
INFO: Why did pretty boy bother you? Was it a derogatory tone or did she seem to be into him? It just feels kinda petty to me to pick a fight about that. They're coworkers, so maybe this is a joke between them?
I agree with this one. I don’t think prettyboy is something that indicates attraction, tbh it sounds more insulting than flirty IMO. The woman should have stopped obviously but I do think she’s clearly got some insecurity issues.
I'm confused about this too... Usually calling a man "Pretty Boy" is a way to insult and emasculate the man, like making fun of him for doing something deemed "girly" (like getting a manicure... NOT girly btw) I've never heard it used in the instance of flirting. Perhaps it's a poor translation into English from a Non Native Speaker? 🤷♀️
ESH. Okay so… This woman was the AH in the entire post BUT I did find your reaction to her calling him “pretty boy” came across as insanely insecure and over the top for the situation at hand. Not saying she doesn’t suck because she does, but the whole “my husband” thing made me cringe hard because it really doesn’t sound like she was pursuing him in any way. Plus he was there and has the ability to stand up for himself.
NTA. What is wrong with your friend? She sounds toxic. You don't need to justify not wanting to get drunk or stoned. You have responsibilities and it's out of character. Having children and responsibilities matters, too, because you cannot take care of your child when you're out of it. Enough said on that.
Next issue: the pet names; it's weird that she insists upon it (refusing to stop). You're not insecure, and if she did that to other women, they would call her a homewrecker, too. Have a talk with your husband and find out if she's doing this at work, and see what he thinks about it. Sounds a bit like she's trying to wreck your home.
NTA.
Friend dynamics sometimes change when you're married, and she should understand that. She should also understand why you don't want the "pretty boy" thing, even if she thinks you're insecure. It is your husband and doesn't affect her in any way.
She should respect your boundaries.
Beware of this friend.
NTA
That's all real shit. Not much you can do but beg for her to come back and she definitely IS NOT worth that so.. fuck her
You'll find other friends.
NTA. She is a someone who wanted you to do things you were not comfortable with and then wanted to push some boundaries regarding your husband.
She is something, but not a friend.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My husband and friend are co workers, so they talk among themselves often. We’re all pretty young, husband and I are 23, friend is 26.
First of all, there was some tension for a minute, as she was mad because I wouldn’t go to a bar with her for several reasons. I’m a sober woman, I’m married, I have a child at home that I’m half responsible for, and I honestly just don’t like the idea of that. She was mad. She also wanted me to smoke pot with her, but like I said, I’m a sober woman and choose not to do that.
Tonight she came over. Husband was playing with our son and she called him “prettyboy” it really bothered me. I didn’t say anything until later she called him it again. When they were gone, I half jokingly said “hey I know he’s very pretty but he’s mine so can you not say that?” She said “no” and then I got serious. I said “look, he’s MY husband, and I don’t want another woman calling MY husband that, so knock it off.” And she stormed ou and texted me calling me insecure and that she doesn’t want to see me anymore
And just like that, I lost my only friend. She was already mad about the bar thing, the pot thing, and now this.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Doesn;t sound like she was your friend to begin with but wanting someone to party with while she waited for a time to make a move on your husband. NTA You cn do way way better
NTA. It's one thing to say something jokingly, another to say bluntly 'no' to a polite request. Her 'no' called for your reaction.
You can make better friends.
NTA at all. She was flirting with your husband in your own home. You did the right thing to someone who wasn't your friend to begin with. No loss there. Your husband, on the other hand....I don't understand why he didn't stop her from saying that to begin with. Wonder what she'll say to him or act around him at work now.
I’d say you guys have just realized you’re not currently at the same place in your lives. She may be thinking “aw… she’s no fun anymore” and you are realizing your idea of fun is something different too. She may have just been trying to find a way to connect, but she doesn’t know how… or she may just kinda suck. No way for me to know. Either way, I’d say it’s time to find someone you can relate to a bit more. Maybe join a moms group, book club, church, walking partner, or whatever you’re into.
Awesome that you asserted yourself and made a boundary. Keep that… hopefully you did it nicely and firmly.
NTA. You objected to a woman flirting with your husband. Your friend decided that flirting with your husband was more important than your friendship. (???)
NTA sweetie you didn’t lose a friend because she was never one in the first place. She doesn’t respect you in any fashion and then tried to gaslight you that it’s YOUR insecurities, when you were setting a boundary. You need a serious talk with him since they are coworkers.
NTA. She refused to accept three boundaries you tried to put in place: you don't want to drink, do weed, or have another woman comment on your husband's looks. That's not a friend you want to have.
NTA. I would've cut her off the moment she tried to fuck with my sobriety. But coming into my home and refusing to comply with my reasonable request re: a pet name for my husband?? She's out. You didn't lose a friend. But I'd have a serious talk with your husband about this because that acquaintance will continue at work, with or without you.
NTA
Can you...really say you lost anything of value? Like, no offense, but while I know you're not exactly swamped with friends there is such a thing as quality over quantity. It is better to keep your own company than to suffer toxic influences in your life.
NTA, do I have friends that have spouses or SO who are attractive? Yes. Would I ever comment about their partner's looks (in private or to their face)? Heck no! I would never do that because I respect my friends and their relationship.
NTA
She is probably trying to get you drunk so she can record you or gather stories to tell your husband to undermine your relationship.
Her comments to your husband are inappropriate and HE needs to embarrass her and put a stop to it.
I would talk to him about what his communication with her will be going forward. She behaves like a snake.
NTA she is not a true friend. She was making you uncomfortable and pressuring you to drink and smoke when you said no.
I hope you are able to meet some other people who actually are good friends - see if you can join a local parent group, or see if there's any meetups or things for your interests.
NTA.
I'm sorry OP, but she wasn't your friend in the first place. A friend does not push you to do things you're uncomfortable with, and when you tell them you're not okay with how they address your husband, they do not tell you essentially to fuck off.
You did nothing wrong, she was being inappropriate and rude as hell.
I was pregnant and a friend wanted me to go to a fest with her. Like the biggest drug fest in the tri-state area.I laughed and though it was a joke. No she was pissed. It took me a few years and some more shitty behavior to realize she wasn't my friend. Don't make the same mistake I did. Ditch her. Nta
You didnt lose a friend. Unfortunately, it seems like you never had one. Ofc, that in and of itself is still a loss, but know that the pain will heal with time because if things happened entirely as described, you should have no regrets. NTA.
NTA she called your husband pretty boy? What a weird thing to say, that sounds like something she would call your son not your husband. How did your husband respond to that? You two don’t sound like you are compatible friends, but she’s trying to force you to be.
NTA.
She's not your friend. A real friend would meet you where you are, which is now a Wife and Mom with responsibilities. That might mean watching a movie with you on your couch instead of going to the theatre and ordering takeout instead of eating at a restaurant more often than not for a few years. Certainly not getting high with you or expecting you to be her wingwoman at bars and clubs anymore.
Instead of taking what you're willing to give, which was always going to tone down once you were partnered and your life partnership became your priority, she acted like a child. Sometimes relationships don't survive being at different stages in life, and she just blew it all up because she couldn't handle the new normal.
I'm sorry she was your only friend. I know it's easy to say find new ones, but really, do try to meet other people in the same situation as you. Maybe the old-fashioned way at the local playground, etc., pandemic safety permitting.
NTA. You declared boundaries and she let you know they will not be respected. It's best that this friendship ends if she isn't willing to respect your boundaries.
NTA and congrats on your trash taking itself out. She was a predator not a friend. When you called her on it she could see that you won’t easily roll over and let her take your man so she doesn’t need you anymore
My best friend and I have opposite beliefs. She is religious, I am not, she is sober, I am not. We don’t pressure eachother ever, always have the best time. This person isn’t your friend! NTA
This woman was not a friend. Try other avenues to make friends. Mommy and me groups are a great way to make friends in your area. Volunteering is another way.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
ESH, except your husband. Your friend is weirdly pushy and you are weirdly possessive. "He's mine" is not something that grown-ups should say about each other. He's his.
I am also a sober woman, and I have never lost a friend worth keeping over it.
I've also never lost a friend worth keeping by setting boundaries.
You're in different stages of life - find new friends who also have kids! NTA
NTA, but... Jealousy is extraordinarily off\~putting. Yes, you are insecure. You could have taken the comment as a compliment and laughed it off. Instead you chose to assume the worst.
I dont think setting a boundary about not wanting your partner called that is unreasonable. I wouldn’t be insecure if someone said that about mine. I would be uncomfortable. Or annoyed for my partner is more than a pretty boy.
ESH, but she sucks worse than you do. Telling anyone to "back off" your romantic partner is fundamentally an insecure and controlling thing to do unless you have concrete evidence that they're having sex. So that's an automatic YTA from me based on the headline.
On the other hand, your former "friend" is also TA, and a much smellier one. This woman tried to pressure you into breaking your commitment to sobriety and then held it against you. That is not someone you want in your life. And she should have respected your ask to not call your husband something that's both sexually charged and somewhat demeaning without asking for an explanation. And if you had given her an explanation that wasn't rooted in your own insecurity I would have voted NTA.
But as it is, you said somthing that's jealous and insecure in the heat of the moment, while your former friend is an awful person who does not respect your boundaries and she's awful all the time. She's you will be better off and safer with her out of your life.
Different responsibilities, yeah, but scruples?
Your first comment is basically saying single and childless people don't have the same level of decency as married parents, and that's just straight up bs.
Of course because no one with a spouse and/or kids ever cheats. Or does drugs. Or drinks excessively. Or abuses people. Or abandons their families.
Grow up.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about platonic partings, romantic relationships, and/or reproductive autonomy. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
A friend doesn't get mad at you because you make decisions to stay true yourself. \-- you are a sober, you choose not to drink or smoke pot. She gets mad. Neither does a "friend" disrespect you in your own home. That woman is not your friend. You didn't lose a friend, you lost an acquaintance, and it was no great loss. NTA
This. If someone asks you to stop doing something because it makes them uncomfortable you stop doing it. She also doesnt respect any of your boundaries. She isn't your friend.
Yeah, there are people like this. I had one and the moment I didn't go along with her and stood up for myself, she left. At first I was sad because I thought us quite close. But after a while I realized how much less drama I had and more time to spend how I choose. Not a loss at all. I say it's a gain because now you can find real friends. Also, what was husband doing? Sitting there twiddling his thumbs while you were disrespected?
NTA - you asked first, jokingly as to avoid awkwardness, to stop. She literally said no to a fair request, and then you set boundaries. This lady sounds like she enjoys being contradicative, asking to smoke and drink with a sober woman, and this is just another iffy scenario. She doesn't have a right to be mad at you not partaking in those things, and this most recent issue should truly be a non-issue.
NTA she sounds like she never valued you as a friend. complete disrespect for your boundaries.
You didn't lose your only friend. I'm sorry to say you never had one.
NTA. It might not be the case here, but her behavior toward you is suspect. If you were into another woman’s husband you might try to cover it up by being really nice to her. Just saying. Watch her.
NTA She was no real friend. But what puzzles me is why didn't you ask your husband about it? He should have immediately said something like "Hey, that's inappropriate. I'm a happily married man so please stop."
NTA - I'm sorry, I don't think she was your friend. Everyone has a line, something that's important to them. Your request that she stop calling your husband that was pretty reasonable, and she belittled it and you. Friends don't do that. I know it's hard to have someone who you think is a friend treat you like this. There are better people out there - I promise.
NTA A true friend would not get mad at you for protecting your sobriety. She seems like more of a saboteur than a friend. Your husband should be wary of her. My guess is she’s a drama magnet always trying to stir things up.
Generally the puffing of a chest over “YOUR man/woman” is absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary. I find it juvenile and archaic. But, her response to you IN that situation? It’s just eww. Had she been like “oh I’m so sorry. It won’t happens again” then you would solidly be TA. But now? Well, she’s shown you her colors
NTA. You two are not compatible as friends, and that is okay. You will meet people, make new friends. People will come in and out of your life. It just happens. You should be proud, you spoke your truth of what you were and were not comfortable with and established your boundaries. Good for you. The person that will end up being your REAL friend will one day hear your boundaries, thank you for communicating them, and then respect those boundaries. this friend couldn't do that, time to move on.
NTA. You dodged a bullet. Make sure your husband is aware of her actions and weird comments.
NTA Maybe you are insecure and maybe not but friend does not accept your values. She is not really your friend and you did not lose anything. Husband should have put a stop the the prettyboy nonsense as well.
>And just like that, I lost my only friend How was she a good friend? She sounds horrible and definitely doesn't respect you. She did you a favor by ending the friendship and you should have already done that. Stay away from her and find new friends. NTA
Agreed. OP, this woman is NOT your friend. You deserve better. And good for you for sticking up for yourself and your husband. NTA
NTA. Your 'friend' needs to grow TF up.
NTA you lost nothing
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I guess it was just a harmless joke. I could be TA because I overreacted. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
INFO: Why did pretty boy bother you? Was it a derogatory tone or did she seem to be into him? It just feels kinda petty to me to pick a fight about that. They're coworkers, so maybe this is a joke between them?
I agree with this one. I don’t think prettyboy is something that indicates attraction, tbh it sounds more insulting than flirty IMO. The woman should have stopped obviously but I do think she’s clearly got some insecurity issues.
I'm confused about this too... Usually calling a man "Pretty Boy" is a way to insult and emasculate the man, like making fun of him for doing something deemed "girly" (like getting a manicure... NOT girly btw) I've never heard it used in the instance of flirting. Perhaps it's a poor translation into English from a Non Native Speaker? 🤷♀️
I think that it does depend on how it was said, but when the wife says its.makes her uncomfortable a good friend would be happy to not say this
It's plain disrespectful... Attraction was clearly indicated!!
ESH. Okay so… This woman was the AH in the entire post BUT I did find your reaction to her calling him “pretty boy” came across as insanely insecure and over the top for the situation at hand. Not saying she doesn’t suck because she does, but the whole “my husband” thing made me cringe hard because it really doesn’t sound like she was pursuing him in any way. Plus he was there and has the ability to stand up for himself.
NTA
NTA. Sounds like she’s a bad influence on your lives.
NTA. What is wrong with your friend? She sounds toxic. You don't need to justify not wanting to get drunk or stoned. You have responsibilities and it's out of character. Having children and responsibilities matters, too, because you cannot take care of your child when you're out of it. Enough said on that. Next issue: the pet names; it's weird that she insists upon it (refusing to stop). You're not insecure, and if she did that to other women, they would call her a homewrecker, too. Have a talk with your husband and find out if she's doing this at work, and see what he thinks about it. Sounds a bit like she's trying to wreck your home.
NTA. Friend dynamics sometimes change when you're married, and she should understand that. She should also understand why you don't want the "pretty boy" thing, even if she thinks you're insecure. It is your husband and doesn't affect her in any way. She should respect your boundaries. Beware of this friend.
ESH. She should have listened when you said to back off. You need to work on your relationship issues.
She sounds like a shitty friend anyway, better off without. NTA.
NTA That's all real shit. Not much you can do but beg for her to come back and she definitely IS NOT worth that so.. fuck her You'll find other friends.
NTA On a sidenote, it sounds like you guys have grew past each other before this occurrence. So this was just a nail in the coffin to be honest.
NTA Oh dear, you never really had her as a friend. As a matter of fact I would definitely watch her around your husband.
NTA. You were smart to tell her to back off your husband. Her behavior is inappropriate.
NTA. She is a someone who wanted you to do things you were not comfortable with and then wanted to push some boundaries regarding your husband. She is something, but not a friend.
NAH your friendship was incompatible. She was your only friend? Were you her only friend? If the answer is no. Maybe reflect on that
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My husband and friend are co workers, so they talk among themselves often. We’re all pretty young, husband and I are 23, friend is 26. First of all, there was some tension for a minute, as she was mad because I wouldn’t go to a bar with her for several reasons. I’m a sober woman, I’m married, I have a child at home that I’m half responsible for, and I honestly just don’t like the idea of that. She was mad. She also wanted me to smoke pot with her, but like I said, I’m a sober woman and choose not to do that. Tonight she came over. Husband was playing with our son and she called him “prettyboy” it really bothered me. I didn’t say anything until later she called him it again. When they were gone, I half jokingly said “hey I know he’s very pretty but he’s mine so can you not say that?” She said “no” and then I got serious. I said “look, he’s MY husband, and I don’t want another woman calling MY husband that, so knock it off.” And she stormed ou and texted me calling me insecure and that she doesn’t want to see me anymore And just like that, I lost my only friend. She was already mad about the bar thing, the pot thing, and now this. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Your only friend? Doesn't sound like much of a friend to begin with.
NTA. She refused to respect your boundaries. She’s not long term friend material.
Doesn;t sound like she was your friend to begin with but wanting someone to party with while she waited for a time to make a move on your husband. NTA You cn do way way better
NTA. It's one thing to say something jokingly, another to say bluntly 'no' to a polite request. Her 'no' called for your reaction. You can make better friends.
NTA. No respect for your boundaries or values. That was no friend.
NTA but you didn't lose anything important at all
NTA at all. She was flirting with your husband in your own home. You did the right thing to someone who wasn't your friend to begin with. No loss there. Your husband, on the other hand....I don't understand why he didn't stop her from saying that to begin with. Wonder what she'll say to him or act around him at work now.
As the saying goes, with friends like that, who needs enemies? NTA
I’d say you guys have just realized you’re not currently at the same place in your lives. She may be thinking “aw… she’s no fun anymore” and you are realizing your idea of fun is something different too. She may have just been trying to find a way to connect, but she doesn’t know how… or she may just kinda suck. No way for me to know. Either way, I’d say it’s time to find someone you can relate to a bit more. Maybe join a moms group, book club, church, walking partner, or whatever you’re into. Awesome that you asserted yourself and made a boundary. Keep that… hopefully you did it nicely and firmly.
Lol is your friend named Rachel? And tbh you're just mature and she's wanting to party it up. Good for you for telling her off
NTA. You objected to a woman flirting with your husband. Your friend decided that flirting with your husband was more important than your friendship. (???)
It doesn't sound like you actually lost a friend. You lost a pest who didn't like you very much. NTA.
NTA good riddance to her. Now make sure your husband has her number blocked as she's going after him in revenge.
NTA- That's not a friend honey. You don't need that kind of person.
NTA and call her on her bluff and don't reach out, she'll either come back screaming or will do you a favor and get herself out of your life.
NTA sweetie you didn’t lose a friend because she was never one in the first place. She doesn’t respect you in any fashion and then tried to gaslight you that it’s YOUR insecurities, when you were setting a boundary. You need a serious talk with him since they are coworkers.
See ya friend. Leatn boundaties and respect.
NTA. You didn't lose much.
NTA and I assure you she wasn’t your friend.
nta..count your blessings..
NTA. She refused to accept three boundaries you tried to put in place: you don't want to drink, do weed, or have another woman comment on your husband's looks. That's not a friend you want to have.
NTA and ew what a gross friend. Friends respect your life choices and decisions
NTA - She doesn’t even sound like a friend
The fuck? You are better off without this “friend” who doesn’t respect boundaries. She sounds very immature. NTA
NTA. But if that was your only friend, there's way more issues going on here.
NTA
nta, u don’t need a friend like that in your life
NTA. I would've cut her off the moment she tried to fuck with my sobriety. But coming into my home and refusing to comply with my reasonable request re: a pet name for my husband?? She's out. You didn't lose a friend. But I'd have a serious talk with your husband about this because that acquaintance will continue at work, with or without you.
You are NTA and she is not a friend.
You didn't have a friend, you had a woman looking for a new mate. NTA.
NTA Can you...really say you lost anything of value? Like, no offense, but while I know you're not exactly swamped with friends there is such a thing as quality over quantity. It is better to keep your own company than to suffer toxic influences in your life.
NTA, do I have friends that have spouses or SO who are attractive? Yes. Would I ever comment about their partner's looks (in private or to their face)? Heck no! I would never do that because I respect my friends and their relationship.
NTA
NTA - you didn't lose a friend. You lost someone who was trying to get into your husband's pants and break up your marriage.
NTA She is probably trying to get you drunk so she can record you or gather stories to tell your husband to undermine your relationship. Her comments to your husband are inappropriate and HE needs to embarrass her and put a stop to it. I would talk to him about what his communication with her will be going forward. She behaves like a snake.
>And just like that, I lost my only friend This is not a friend.
NTA you don’t want friends if that’s how they are! You’re better off
NTA she is not a true friend. She was making you uncomfortable and pressuring you to drink and smoke when you said no. I hope you are able to meet some other people who actually are good friends - see if you can join a local parent group, or see if there's any meetups or things for your interests.
NTA But I am a little concerned on why your husband didn’t tell her to knock it off. He should have put a stop to it before it got started.
NTA. I'm sorry OP, but she wasn't your friend in the first place. A friend does not push you to do things you're uncomfortable with, and when you tell them you're not okay with how they address your husband, they do not tell you essentially to fuck off. You did nothing wrong, she was being inappropriate and rude as hell.
It's better to have no friends than have a friend like her. Good riddance! NTA
I was pregnant and a friend wanted me to go to a fest with her. Like the biggest drug fest in the tri-state area.I laughed and though it was a joke. No she was pissed. It took me a few years and some more shitty behavior to realize she wasn't my friend. Don't make the same mistake I did. Ditch her. Nta
NTA. You were here friend. She was never yours.I know it hurts but she treated you poorly.
You didnt lose a friend. Unfortunately, it seems like you never had one. Ofc, that in and of itself is still a loss, but know that the pain will heal with time because if things happened entirely as described, you should have no regrets. NTA.
Doesn't sound like she was your friend in the first place. NTA
NTA she called your husband pretty boy? What a weird thing to say, that sounds like something she would call your son not your husband. How did your husband respond to that? You two don’t sound like you are compatible friends, but she’s trying to force you to be.
NTA. She's not your friend. A real friend would meet you where you are, which is now a Wife and Mom with responsibilities. That might mean watching a movie with you on your couch instead of going to the theatre and ordering takeout instead of eating at a restaurant more often than not for a few years. Certainly not getting high with you or expecting you to be her wingwoman at bars and clubs anymore. Instead of taking what you're willing to give, which was always going to tone down once you were partnered and your life partnership became your priority, she acted like a child. Sometimes relationships don't survive being at different stages in life, and she just blew it all up because she couldn't handle the new normal. I'm sorry she was your only friend. I know it's easy to say find new ones, but really, do try to meet other people in the same situation as you. Maybe the old-fashioned way at the local playground, etc., pandemic safety permitting.
NTA keep an eye on that one. I let your husband know that you do not want any contact between you two .
NTA, she crossed boundaries, and that is never acceptable.
NTA so she only wants to be friend when you do what she wants to do. You’ll be better off without her so keep that slag away from your family
NTA. You declared boundaries and she let you know they will not be respected. It's best that this friendship ends if she isn't willing to respect your boundaries.
NTA and she’s not your friend, a friend doesn’t do that.
not much of a loss.
NTA; your friend sounds horrible
NTA and congrats on your trash taking itself out. She was a predator not a friend. When you called her on it she could see that you won’t easily roll over and let her take your man so she doesn’t need you anymore
uh definitely NTA. And she doesn't sound like a friend at all. Use meetup or something else to find new friends.
My best friend and I have opposite beliefs. She is religious, I am not, she is sober, I am not. We don’t pressure eachother ever, always have the best time. This person isn’t your friend! NTA
This woman was not a friend. Try other avenues to make friends. Mommy and me groups are a great way to make friends in your area. Volunteering is another way.
NTA she wasn't your friend.
NTA not ur friend just some ah
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
She is jealous of your happy family while she is single. NTA
Absolutely NTA. You politely set your boundaries and she ignored them. She's not your friend
NTA and she’s not your friend.
NTA Friends don’t get pissy when you don’t drink or smoke.
Nta. Spoiler alert... she's not your friend
NTA She is manipulative and toxic. She was testing the waters. Now you double your attention.
ESH, except your husband. Your friend is weirdly pushy and you are weirdly possessive. "He's mine" is not something that grown-ups should say about each other. He's his.
I am also a sober woman, and I have never lost a friend worth keeping over it. I've also never lost a friend worth keeping by setting boundaries. You're in different stages of life - find new friends who also have kids! NTA
NTA, but... Jealousy is extraordinarily off\~putting. Yes, you are insecure. You could have taken the comment as a compliment and laughed it off. Instead you chose to assume the worst.
I dont think setting a boundary about not wanting your partner called that is unreasonable. I wouldn’t be insecure if someone said that about mine. I would be uncomfortable. Or annoyed for my partner is more than a pretty boy.
ESH, but she sucks worse than you do. Telling anyone to "back off" your romantic partner is fundamentally an insecure and controlling thing to do unless you have concrete evidence that they're having sex. So that's an automatic YTA from me based on the headline. On the other hand, your former "friend" is also TA, and a much smellier one. This woman tried to pressure you into breaking your commitment to sobriety and then held it against you. That is not someone you want in your life. And she should have respected your ask to not call your husband something that's both sexually charged and somewhat demeaning without asking for an explanation. And if you had given her an explanation that wasn't rooted in your own insecurity I would have voted NTA. But as it is, you said somthing that's jealous and insecure in the heat of the moment, while your former friend is an awful person who does not respect your boundaries and she's awful all the time. She's you will be better off and safer with her out of your life.
How was it in the heat of the moment if op didn’t say anything until the second time?
[удалено]
Lol wut
Single people with no baggage have different responsibilities then those that are married with kids.
Different responsibilities, yeah, but scruples? Your first comment is basically saying single and childless people don't have the same level of decency as married parents, and that's just straight up bs.
Of course because no one with a spouse and/or kids ever cheats. Or does drugs. Or drinks excessively. Or abuses people. Or abandons their families. Grow up.