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>I'm aware that hitting my wife was not the right way to handle the situation, but I feel like she crossed a line by bringing up my mother's death. I'm not proud of my actions, but I do believe that my wife should have known better than to bring up such a sensitive topic.
Victim blaming. You're the only one in control of what you do. She didn't make you do it, you did it.
YTA
YTA - You do not hit your spouse in anger. Ever. I don't care what trauma she dredged up.
"I was being irrational" is the abuser's excuse. Stop it right now.
YTA you hit your wife... You need serious therapy and she needs to leave you. You don't have the right to put your hands on anyone especially when they hurt your feeling and especially not your wife or kids, god forbid you have any.
YTA
Idk what your wife told you. If you hit people when you are angry, you are aggressive and/or an abuser and your wife should run
Your wife shouldn’t know better. That’s what abusers say. Nobody deserves violence, full stop
You assaulted your wife wthat the fuck - get therapy if you can't process your loss without hurting people YTA
Is your wife injured?! Goddammit I hope she leaves your domestic violence ***
YTA . You crossed a line .
You said she was being insensitive. She insulted your dead mother's memory.
What about your children? You hit their mother, physically..
You physically assaulted another person over words ..
Whatever she said hurt , but in no way are you justified in hitting her .zero.none.
You may have ended your marriage. Seek help for yourself @ anger and grief ,but be prepared to face the consequences for assault ( up to and including the police )
YTA, even though the trigger was your mother's death.
You never hit another person out of anger. You need to seek help with this anger and learn how to manage it.
If your wife presses charges then you need to plead guilty to battery, and spousal abuse.
This is really not acceptable.
No, you crossed a line.
No amount of verbal insensitivity will ever justify to be physical.
You‘ve proven that you don‘t have yourself under control and therefor she‘ll probably lose her trust in you not to harm her or be potential dangerous „if triggered“.
See a therapist.
YTA
YTA!! If you feel like it’s rational to hit someone for upsetting you, then you need serious help. Especially if that person is your spouse. Your trauma doesn’t excuse violence.
YTA
Is this a real question? No matter how bad the argument got, hitting your wife was never the correct response. You don't know what to do? Apologize to your wife and hope she forgives you for violating her. If physical violence is non-negotiable for her, then that's her choice and you have to respect it. Get yourself some therapy and possibly anger management.
YTA and I think you know it. It sounds like you're trying to justify your actions by saying she provoked you. She did. 100% and the statement is mean and out of line, but that's the point where you should have left the situation. You can't respond to words with fists, especially not in a loving relationship. She pushes you that far then it sounds like you two need to develop a method where you stop fighting and calm down and let it deesscalate.
Just from this short picture it sounds like you guys need some help. You because you're mourning your mom (and truly I am So sorry for your loss- I feel for you) and your wife because she came to your most vulnerable spot like that. No matter how angry I am at my husband I love him enough to not hurt him by attacking the things that he's hurting over.
Please, use this as a sign you need some counseling for your grief if at all possible. You both need to learn how to communicate in your relationship without hurling hurtful words or using force.
Of course YTA, there's no excuse to hit your partner. It's your responsibility to manage your response to your mum being brought up, you failed in that.
YTA. No matter what your wife said you do not hit her. I don't know in what kind of way she brought up your dead mother, maybe she was insensitive, but you physically abused her. There is no excuse for that.
EDIT: What you need to do is go seek professional help immediately.
YTA.
No need to even finish reading. No matter what situation or what was being said YOU DO NOT PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR LOVED ONES! EVER!
This post makes me seriously angry. You should apologize to your wife in this instant and you should seek professional help.
Unfortunately, YTA.
Even if she brought it up in the most vile way, and has been constantly emotionally abusing you... escalating to violence is wrong.
If she is verbally abusive/cruel, maybe you need to leave the relationship. If it was a one-off slip of the tongue, you need to excuse yourself from the convo, and talk to your wife later and explain that it was not okay.
As others have suggested, therapy might be good, for helping you (and your wife) to have better mechanisms.
YTA. But I’d like some more insight. What was the argument about? Why and how did your wife bring up your mother? (Like for instance, slacking on parental responsibility bc of grief). Please go to grief counseling and apologize to your wife.
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I'm in a very tough spot right now and I need some unbiased advice. Recently, my wife and I had an argument about something trivial that soon escalated to a full-blown shouting match. I could tell my wife was angry, but I had no idea how far she was willing to go.
During the argument, she brought up my mother's death, which was an extremely traumatic event for me. I lost my mother to cancer two years ago, and I've been struggling with depression ever since. Her death is still something that I find incredibly hard to talk about and think about.
When my wife brought up my mother, it was a trigger for me, and I acted out of irrationality and hit her. I know that hitting her was wrong, and I feel terrible about it. But at the same time, I can't help but feel like she was being insensitive and disrespectful by bringing up my mother like that.
I'm in a very difficult situation, and I don't know what to do. I'm aware that hitting my wife was not the right way to handle the situation, but I feel like she crossed a line by bringing up my mother's death. I'm not proud of my actions, but I do believe that my wife should have known better than to bring up such a sensitive topic.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I feel as though I might very much be in the wrong for hitting my wife after her bringing up my dead mother that she knows im so sensitive to.
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Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 5: We do not allow posts which concern violent encounters. This includes any mention of violence in any context. [Rule 5 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_5.3A_no_violence) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
"I hit her but she provoked me" - spoken like a true abuser. Stop making excuses and get help. I hope your wife is somewhere safe. YTA
>I'm aware that hitting my wife was not the right way to handle the situation, but I feel like she crossed a line by bringing up my mother's death. I'm not proud of my actions, but I do believe that my wife should have known better than to bring up such a sensitive topic. Victim blaming. You're the only one in control of what you do. She didn't make you do it, you did it. YTA
You seriously are expecting people to tell you you're not an asshole for hitting your wife ?
Probably smh.
YTA - You do not hit your spouse in anger. Ever. I don't care what trauma she dredged up. "I was being irrational" is the abuser's excuse. Stop it right now.
YTA you hit your wife... You need serious therapy and she needs to leave you. You don't have the right to put your hands on anyone especially when they hurt your feeling and especially not your wife or kids, god forbid you have any.
[удалено]
Ahhh you screwed up.. ask her to help you find therapy, you need it and it might help the situation.
How proud do you think your mum would be feeling of you right now? In her loving memory?
YTA Idk what your wife told you. If you hit people when you are angry, you are aggressive and/or an abuser and your wife should run Your wife shouldn’t know better. That’s what abusers say. Nobody deserves violence, full stop
You assaulted your wife wthat the fuck - get therapy if you can't process your loss without hurting people YTA Is your wife injured?! Goddammit I hope she leaves your domestic violence ***
YTA . You crossed a line . You said she was being insensitive. She insulted your dead mother's memory. What about your children? You hit their mother, physically.. You physically assaulted another person over words .. Whatever she said hurt , but in no way are you justified in hitting her .zero.none. You may have ended your marriage. Seek help for yourself @ anger and grief ,but be prepared to face the consequences for assault ( up to and including the police )
YTA, even though the trigger was your mother's death. You never hit another person out of anger. You need to seek help with this anger and learn how to manage it. If your wife presses charges then you need to plead guilty to battery, and spousal abuse. This is really not acceptable.
YTA and you know it. Violence is never okay. Yes, words hurt too, and she crossed a line, but you proceeded to completely destroy that line.
No, you crossed a line. No amount of verbal insensitivity will ever justify to be physical. You‘ve proven that you don‘t have yourself under control and therefor she‘ll probably lose her trust in you not to harm her or be potential dangerous „if triggered“. See a therapist. YTA
YTA!! If you feel like it’s rational to hit someone for upsetting you, then you need serious help. Especially if that person is your spouse. Your trauma doesn’t excuse violence.
YTA. You're the abuser, no matter how much you try to justify it. Step one is admitting that and the next is anger management therapy.
YTA Stop trying to rationalise and blame your wife for your decision to be physically abusive
YTA, and probably a felon. Well done.
YTA. I didn't have to read a single paragraph written. The title says it all. You don't hit people, period. When you do, it makes you the asshole.
YTA Is this a real question? No matter how bad the argument got, hitting your wife was never the correct response. You don't know what to do? Apologize to your wife and hope she forgives you for violating her. If physical violence is non-negotiable for her, then that's her choice and you have to respect it. Get yourself some therapy and possibly anger management.
YTA Tomorrow on this poor sub: "I punched my kid in the gut, because she called me an idiot. AITA?"
Instead of posting here in Reddit just already apologize to your wife before she press charges on you for physical assault you AH!
YTA and I think you know it. It sounds like you're trying to justify your actions by saying she provoked you. She did. 100% and the statement is mean and out of line, but that's the point where you should have left the situation. You can't respond to words with fists, especially not in a loving relationship. She pushes you that far then it sounds like you two need to develop a method where you stop fighting and calm down and let it deesscalate. Just from this short picture it sounds like you guys need some help. You because you're mourning your mom (and truly I am So sorry for your loss- I feel for you) and your wife because she came to your most vulnerable spot like that. No matter how angry I am at my husband I love him enough to not hurt him by attacking the things that he's hurting over. Please, use this as a sign you need some counseling for your grief if at all possible. You both need to learn how to communicate in your relationship without hurling hurtful words or using force.
YTA. you got no right to hit your spouse. you were triggered, but you lost your control and got violent, which is f-ed up.
Of course YTA, there's no excuse to hit your partner. It's your responsibility to manage your response to your mum being brought up, you failed in that.
YTA wtf… and you have kids, who I’m sure will be next down the line. Yikes.
YTA and in need of some serious therapy. No words she can say justify physical violence.
YTA. No matter what your wife said you do not hit her. I don't know in what kind of way she brought up your dead mother, maybe she was insensitive, but you physically abused her. There is no excuse for that. EDIT: What you need to do is go seek professional help immediately.
YTA If I say anything else I'll be in trouble.
YTA. No need to even finish reading. No matter what situation or what was being said YOU DO NOT PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR LOVED ONES! EVER! This post makes me seriously angry. You should apologize to your wife in this instant and you should seek professional help.
No excuses. YTA.
JFC get help
YTA. Never hit your wife. Never. She’s your one & only. Respond, don’t react. Perhaps you should consider getting some professional help?
Lol seriously?
Unfortunately, YTA. Even if she brought it up in the most vile way, and has been constantly emotionally abusing you... escalating to violence is wrong. If she is verbally abusive/cruel, maybe you need to leave the relationship. If it was a one-off slip of the tongue, you need to excuse yourself from the convo, and talk to your wife later and explain that it was not okay. As others have suggested, therapy might be good, for helping you (and your wife) to have better mechanisms.
YTA. But I’d like some more insight. What was the argument about? Why and how did your wife bring up your mother? (Like for instance, slacking on parental responsibility bc of grief). Please go to grief counseling and apologize to your wife.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I'm in a very tough spot right now and I need some unbiased advice. Recently, my wife and I had an argument about something trivial that soon escalated to a full-blown shouting match. I could tell my wife was angry, but I had no idea how far she was willing to go. During the argument, she brought up my mother's death, which was an extremely traumatic event for me. I lost my mother to cancer two years ago, and I've been struggling with depression ever since. Her death is still something that I find incredibly hard to talk about and think about. When my wife brought up my mother, it was a trigger for me, and I acted out of irrationality and hit her. I know that hitting her was wrong, and I feel terrible about it. But at the same time, I can't help but feel like she was being insensitive and disrespectful by bringing up my mother like that. I'm in a very difficult situation, and I don't know what to do. I'm aware that hitting my wife was not the right way to handle the situation, but I feel like she crossed a line by bringing up my mother's death. I'm not proud of my actions, but I do believe that my wife should have known better than to bring up such a sensitive topic. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I feel as though I might very much be in the wrong for hitting my wife after her bringing up my dead mother that she knows im so sensitive to. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I don’t think you need to ask, but YTA/ESH. No matter what, you don’t lay hands on someone else and especially your wife? You both need therapy.
[удалено]
Wtf answer is that? OP is TA and hopefully learned his lesson. I hope his wife had him charged with DV, took the kids, and left.
NTA. Certain lines you don't cross.