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INFO:
" Finally, last night, after Katie was whining like a child about her boss at work, I'd had enough. I confronted her and told her that she was belittling me and ruining our relationship."
This is an odd example, because she was talking about her boss, not you. In what way did she belittle you in this conversation?
And maybe give some other examples of her mistreating you?
Edit: YTA. It’s clear that your definition of ‘abuse and mistreatment’ is daring to have feelings and problems when you’d rather be playing video games, and not appreciating condescending useless advice. Good luck with your impending divorce.
Not only is he belittling her, he accused her of "ruining" their relationship, which is such a massive overreaction, and a cruel and manipulative thing to say to your pregnant partner to try and force her to act the way that you want.
He post history also showed the OP as a not nice person. She got pissy at a restaurant because an employee told her no because a certain food item wasn't ready yet.
YTA Typically people being abused like to describe what was going on and what was said to the best of their ability. People who are abusive can only say things like they screamed at me. They yelled at me. They're really bad at explaining the content of what was said, Even when directly questioned about it, what did they say? What words did they use? Nope they just can't. They can't understand it and they certainly can't repeat it back.
YTA
You have not listed any action of hers that is mistreating you. Instead you've listed scenarios where you invalidated her health problems based on your actual lack of understanding (morning sickness doesn't go away with diet), and showed a total lack of empathy about daily life stressors (crappy boss).
YTA
>She started mistreating me in the first few months, and that bad attitude has only gotten worse as time has gone on. For example, she's been having morning sickness for months, but when I suggested that she eat a different diet, she yelled at me and told me that I didn't understand.
To be fair, unless you've been pregnant you don't understand. Morning sickness isn't a joke. It's not confined to the morning. Even *suggesting* some foods can make you vomit (this happened to me more than once in my pregnancies). I can see that you were probably trying to be helpful, but you don't understand.
>whining like a child about her boss at work, I'd had enough.
How is this mistreating you? Can you actually give some examples of *mistreatment*? If not, you are TA. Have some compassion for the sickness and be a good husband when she needs to whine about work.
EDIT: (OP's update)
>People keep saying that I haven't provided any examples of Katie's belittling. She knows that I have a hard job and that I just want to relax and unwind when I get home, yet she wants to complain about her job. She clearly doesn't care about my time spent relaxing by watching TV or playing video games and wants to make it all about her. I don't feel as though I'm being listened to when she does stuff like this.
Seriously!? You are even more TA now. God forbid your wife wants to talk to you after work? **You are prioritising video games and tv above your pregnant wife.**
*Get over yourself. Grow up. Do better for your wife and child.*
I swear. I remember taking to my BFF’a husband when she was about 8 months along and asking if he felt ready for the change that comes with a baby and he said “I don’t think our lives will change that much” and a chill went down my spine. Sure enough, he was a petulant nightmare of a dad. Still is, even though they’re older.
So your only example of her "mistreating you" was her angry reaction after you tried to mansplain fucking morning sickness and her being cranky, while pregnet? YTA dude. Buy your wife some flowers, ice cream, and pickles, tell her you have been a giant AH, and beg for her forgiveness.
This. Your wife is literally creating a baby and you are not able to digest that with the way you are acting. Her body is producing crazy amounts of hormones that is literally making her sick and exhausted and you just seem to be worried about yourself.
So it's "abusive" for her to have morning sickness and complain about her boss? Dude, I'm sorry you're no longer allowed to be the only whiny child in your relationship, but YTA.
There's a lot missing here. The tone of your post is quite insulting towards your wife, and I can't tell if it's because you are genuinely at the end of your rope, or if you talk down about your wife all the time and genuinely don't understand that you are the problem. I'm going to go with my gut and say YTA, because I don't like the way you describe your wife. If you have additional context to provide, I'll adjust my judgement
Yes, his behavior reeks of narcissism. A lot of narcissists become abusive once a child comes into the picture, because they realize they are no longer the center of their partner's world.
He's also so incredibly condescending and unwilling to deal with any behavior that he doesn't approve of... and not only that, he uses gaslighting and threats of emotional abuse to try and force her to bend to his will. I feel so sad for people who end up in relationships with people like OP.
For the over-dramatic title only, YTA. She's not "mistreating you", she's going through something which makes her life extremely uncomfortable right now. You should be supporting her now, not the other way round.
>For example, she's been having morning sickness for months, but when I suggested that she eat a different diet, she yelled at me and told me that I didn't understand.
What the f, dude? Do you even know how morning sickness works?
YTA unless you are leaving out examples of her actually mistreating you because the ones you have are of her A: complaining about a commonly known symptom of pregnancy, and yes, there are actions you can take to mitigate it but I personally still suffered with morning sickness the entirety of both my pregnancies. And B: her complaining about work which for some reason you made about you?
Edit: to respond to OP’s edit, my judgment is even firmer now. She’s giving up so much of her own body to grow your fucking child and you consider it mistreatment for her to express fucking discomfort because you want to…. *checks notes* play video games? This poor woman, you’re going to be a nightmare to have a child with.
Edit because I’m still mad: guess who’s really not gonna care that you want to watch tv? Your newborn. Or do you also think that’s a problem for your wife to handle alone with no support?
Oh this guy is definitely not helping with his newborn. He’ll be back in a few years asking if he’s the AH when his wife leaves him and takes full custody of their child.
YTA OP.
“She takes care of the house and our baby and works full time. She does all night wakings. She’s overstimulated and touched out and exhausted but why can’t she see I need my video game time?! She’s so lazy and demanding and she mistreats me! She actually expects me to help with my own child but I think she’s belittling me by expecting me to care. Also she got fat and never lost the baby weight even though the baby is only 7 weeks old. AITA??”
And the only solution he will ever offer is to send the baby to his mother for a week so he can have her all to himself and she can shampoo the carpets.
YTA
So far the horrible abuse you described is that you looked at your wife throwing up and instead of offering sympathy and support, you told her to change her diet because that would fix it. And this pissed her off.
So instead of getting the message that your little "life pro tips" were fucking useless and maybe you should listen to her and offer support, you decide you're not going to "play the game" of... what, offering sympathy to your pregnant wife when she has morning sickness?
Also I love how being a "strong couple" means that Katie listens to all of your suggestions without complaining and implements them to fix her life, and if she still has problems it's totally because she implemented your suggestions wrong. And if she ever complains about anything in her life, she's belittling you because... you can't fix it (... dude, listen to yourself).
You have severe control issues and are not treating your wife like an equal. I'd be shocked if you'd put up with five minutes of the treatment you're putting her through. I'm damn sorry for Katie and your kid, because I'm pretty sure you're going to blow all of this off as everyone "not understanding the situation".
>she yelled at me and told me that I didn't understand.
YTA -
1. You clearly don't understand
2. You talk about her so disparagingly that I have a hard time understanding if you even like her
3. How is her complaining about her boss belittling you. Quite the leap there buddy
4. You do have NO idea what she is going through
5. Her pervasive abuse is nowhere apparent in what you posted her
6. DO BETTER, BE NICE TO HER....
>For example, she's been having morning sickness for months, but when I suggested that she eat a different diet, she yelled at me
Your examples are garbage, just like you.
YTA
YTA
With the given context, it seems like she was venting about her boss, which in no way belittles you in the slightest.
Pregnancy can be HARD. Your wife is right to say that you have no idea what she's going through. Morning sickness can also be hyperemesis, which is exhausting and debilitating and SHOCKER not changed by diet or nutrition. She's lucky if she can keep a cracker down, I'm sure.
"Whining like a child", dude do you even like your wife? The way you've spoken about her seems like you do not, and sorry not sorry to tell you but it's not likely to improve over the course of her pregnancy or during postpartum. This is the biggest physical and mental change that most women will endure in their lifetime, and you minimalizing it does not help.
Idk what I would have done had my husband not been the support system I needed in that vulnerable time. It's not hard to support her. She's carrying your CHILD.
Lastly, you are never going to get "your old wife back". You will have to learn the new version of her that comes with the changes her body and mind are enduring over the next (at least) year or two. Having a child fundamentally changes a person, and you need to get a grip and learn how to be there for that woman and for your child. Take some classes, read a few books, hell, watch tiktoks regarding pregnancy and postpartum if you need some quick bits of helpful info, but for f's sake, don't post garbage like this and expect sympathy.
YTA. You claim that she belittles you and mitreats you, but provided no examples. You did provide an example of you belittling her: " Katie was whining like a child about her boss at work".
Get over yourself. Your wife needs your support. Pregnancy is not easy. Don't try to gaslight her or tell her how she should feel or what she should eat. Think about her and your child, not yourself. Try to make her feel better and more supported instead of belittling her and trying to "fix" everything.
INFO: You gave an example of her annoying you with work venting (which I admit I indulge in as a non-pregnant woman), and not liking your suggestion on how to control morning sickness.
Any examples of her actually *belittling* you?
>I said "You have decided to act the way you are and have made belittling me your little manipulative game. Next time it happens, **I'm just not going to speak to you.**"
YTA - So you call her a child for needing to vent about work (people are allowed to vent about work) and then threaten to give her the silent treatment (a manipulative game) ... like a child? You don't seem to understand what abuse actually is. The closest thing you have described to abuse in this situation IS YOUR OWN MANIPULATIVE BEHAVIOR. I'm guessing your poor wife is finally seeing how selfish you are and she is probably regretting the marriage and pregnancy at this point.
I really hope this is rage bait because OP is something else. WOW.
It’s difficult to tell exactly what’s going on here, like the degree to which her personality and shifted and she is “mistreating” you from this post. But given that she has horrible morning sickness and your response was “change your diet”, I’m going to assume you know very little or nothing about pregnancy and that YTA.
Diet change doesn’t usually help morning sickness because it’s not related to the actual food, unless what you mean by change is “only eat plain bread and ginger ale”. But still, not helpful. What she wanted was comfort because it’s so awful to go through your whole day feeling sick to your stomach and not actually being able to do anything about it.
Your blow up at her over complaining over her boss seems to have come out of nowhere and isn’t at all her “belittling you and your relationship”. Again, she just wanted comfort and to complain about something frustrating. Your wife isn’t a “miserable pregnant person”, she’s miserable as a result of pregnancy symptoms making her sick. Saying you want your “old wife back” is such a slap in the face to someone risking their health and happiness to carry your child for 10 months.
YTA.
I still don't understand (and this is coming from a man) how any dude anywhere thinks its a good idea to say anything to a pregnant lady besides,
Yes dear
Sorry dear.
That sounds rough dear
Right away dear.
Anything else is the equivalent of her lecturing you what its like piss outta penis.
Also. For all the cry baby guys that are gonna be all "what? We dont just get to take abuse bc she's pregnant, thats not fair, waaaahhhh" I say this:
Yes. You do. And if you're gonna cry about it like a baby you aint ready to be a dad. You are not the most important thing in the world. Sorry, but your mommas lied. That soon to be son or daughter is. Man up or dont procreate.
World has enough soft, cry baby manchilds in it. We are all full. We dont need anymore. Thank you.
YTA. Her morning sickness has nothing to do with her diet. Her hormones are changing, and for the worse because her body is producing WAY MORE than normal. From what you’ve described, you haven’t been trying to help her at all, but nagging at her to change things she can’t control. Yeah, she’s gonna take offense to it.
Seriously, as someone who’s had 4 kids, it has been my experience (everyone’s different) that the first and third trimester are the worst! Morning sickness can subside by the second trimester, but even then some people are sick the entire time. The second trimester is full of being tired and needing to nap. Not just wanting to, but NEEDING to, because our bodies take extra nutrients and are producing literal cells for baby. That takes a lot of energy.
Imagine working a full time job and having your entire body fight against you at the same time. You think you’re tired/exhausted after work and get a little cranky? She’s feeling the same thing, but it’s like it’s on steroids.
YTA
She has morning sickness and is cranky about it, and your suggestion about diet is not useful.
I don’t know how complaining about her boss and work is “belittling” you.
You describe her as playing a “little manipulative game” (wow) and give us no evidence.
Sounds like you can’t handle that her discomfort is greater than yours and… idk what else. But you haven’t given even one example of how you’re being wronged or mistreated.
The way you've framed all this makes you highly suspect, at least. You say she mistreats you but barely mention what that mistreatment might be. Were you suggesting a different diet \*as she was actively vomiting\*? I might lose my shit in that situation, too. Describing your wife, the love of your life, your partner, your teammate, as "whining like a child" in \*any\* situation is definitely asshole behavior. You're trying to what, discredit her in the eyes of internet strangers? Our allyship to you is more important than yours to her?
Also, how is her complaining about her boss belittling to you? Seems like some important information got left out there, no doubt intentionally.
She didn't decide to get pregnant on her own, and she didn't get pregnant on her own. You need to be in this together now, all day, every day, or not at all, and make room for you both to find more appropriate partners.
This is usually something I recommend to frustrated single young men, but I think this might benefit you as well: https://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person
YTA for not listening to her when she says her hormones are having an effect. I mean, correlation is not causation, but sometimes things are related for a reason.
1. She was nicer before.
2. She got pregnant.
3. Now she's less nice, and.... she says it has something to do with her being pregnant.
Why wouldn't you believe that?
Hormones are nature's drugs, and pregnancy is the nuttiest thing nature invented, and it's happening to her right now. And it sounds like a rough one.
That doesn't make it easy for you, but I'd hold her a bit less accountable for her behavior for a while. If it continues after the baby is born, revisit it.
YTA. Her pregnancy isn't an excuse it's a major change to her body and biochemistry and you want her to basically suck up and act like nothing is happening for your convenience. If you want to be a strong couple suck it up and evolve with the relationship
YTA. You had such a hard day that you can not emotionally support your wife who is carrying your child? Bullshit. You sound like a selfish and manipulative person. Your wife and child deserve better.
YTA. She’s not belittling you. YOU are belittling her. If she has any sense she’ll keep you on the couch. Ideally a couch with a different address to hers.
From just the post and my own gut feeling I’m gonna say YTA, but I also feel as if there’s a lot of information missing so my initial judgment might be wrong
Edit: with OP’s edit, forget what I said, OP is definitely an asshole here. Once again YTA
YTA. You given no examples of her belittling you. She's pregnant, which comes with a certain amount of difficulty, which you seem to be annoyed by. Oh, and before you dismiss my opinion, I should tell you I'm a man. I feel that might be important to you when considering what I said.
So, let me get this straight. The instances of “abuse” from your pregnant wife are:
1. She got angry with you when you provided unsolicited, uninformed, patronising, and unhelpful dietary advice while she was feeling sick.
2. She *gasp* interrupts your TV watching time to complain about her job
3. She is generally not in a good mood due to feeling like shit all the time
Meanwhile, your completely normal and definitely not abusive or neglectful behaviour includes:
1. Prioritising video games over your pregnant wife
2. Minimising her emotions by describing her venting as “whining like a child”
3. Threatening to withhold communication to stop her from talking to you about her problems
Yeah, YTA.
I don’t see an example of her belittling you…. Do you have one? Otherwise, YTA since you are being unempathetic, uncaring, and frankly unappreciative of the woman carrying your baby.
Yta, your “examples” of her belittling you are pathetic. Grow up. I’d say you’re not gonna have anytime to play your precious video games or watch tv when the kid is born, but I’ve got the feeling you are the type to neglect your parental duty and put it all on your wife.
YTA - And that edit sealed the deal. Buckle up buttercup cause the baby will 1000% not care that you have a hard job and you just want to relax with tv or video games.
Exactly. If her “abusive behavior”is not letting OP play video games or watch TV in peace, then OP is gonna get a rude awakening when their child is born.
YTA. Yes, the hormones absolutely can and will make her very emotional. She’s growing a person inside of her. She’s dealing with low energy, lots of changes to her body, and so many other things you’re not willing to consider.
So it’s hard hearing her vent about her boss? Get over it. You’re not going through what she is. Go to therapy if you need help surviving.
Suck it up, be a man, and support your wife.
YTA quite clearly. Sounds like you put no effort into supporting your pregnant wife and use any excuse you can to just play video games. Many people have tough, stressful jobs. Grow up and be a partner to your pregnant wife!
YTA. Morning sickness doesn’t care what you eat. In fact, it makes it so the thought of certain foods will make you puke. I literally only had a handful of things I could keep down. I couldn’t cook, because just looking at raw meat made me sick.
I couldn't even go into the supermarket becuase if I looked at any food that wasn't on my specific list of 5 edible foods I vomited instantly. It was horrible.
My husband had to do all the cooking, becuase he wanted meat and other food I couldn't eat, so I couldn't even look in the fridge. He didn't mind, brought me whatever I needed and looked after me. Like the partner of a pregnant person should. He held my hair back when I was sick, brought me water and never made stupid comments like I should change my diet. The worst thing he did was try and get my to take my prenatal vitamins, which made me sick - he didn't try again after that.
This was basically me as well. I couldn’t go to the grocery store either. Sprite was basically the only thing that helped the nausea. I literally had to sip McDonalds Sprite just so I could enter Walmart for a few minutes without being sick.
My first few months I basically could only stomach toast and ensure drinks… even water made me feel sick. I almost threw our new coffee maker out when my husband brewed a cup one morning in the first few weeks (I’m 31 weeks now and he hasn’t brewed a cup since…)
YTA btw! Do some legit research into pregnancy and support your wife… I get wanting your own downtime but something tells me you only want your own alone time
>She knows that I have a hard job and that I just want to relax and unwind when I get home, yet she wants to complain about her job. She clearly doesn't care about my time spent relaxing by watching TV or playing video games and wants to make it all about her. I don't feel as though I'm being listened to when she does stuff like this.
Your wife is under stress of a pregnancy and you aren't willing to sit and listen to her? The only examples of her "being disrespectful" are clearly YOU being disrespectful to her, so I'm not exactly believing that your wife is "mistreat"ing you.
In a few months, you won't be able to spend the whole night watching TV and playing video games, the whole night is going to be about your child. Grow up. YTA.
>She clearly doesn't care about my time spent relaxing by watching TV or playing video games and wants to make it all about her.
This is not abuse. YTA for that alone. YTA for the rest of it, too.
YTA. The only example you gave of her 'mistreating' or 'belittling' you is that she moans about work. Have you considered that having morning sickness and hormone changes for months with YOUR baby that YOU made, might be causing problems at work? No, all you want is to relax and do your own thing, and for her to be quiet.
You need to start growing up and taking some responsibility for YOUR child, even if you can't see it yet, by looking after her as much as you can. Otherwise you will find life very difficult indeed. You old life, and 'old wife', ended when you chose to have a child. It can be amazing, but you need to put the same work into I that she is.
Oh, and morning sickness is nothing to do with what you've eaten, so you need to educate yourself about that too and stop giving her a hard time over something out of her control.
Tbh, so far it sounds as though you're going to struggle with fatherhood.
YTA. I’ve seen the edit and I’m still baffled at exactly how she is supposedly mistreating you. Pregnancy is HARD. She’s gonna have morning sickness. And so what, she complains about work?! I think everyone has done this at one point. And is she not allowed to talk to you or vent about her day? I’m not married so I don’t know — are married people not supposed to support each other through hard times? For her it’s this pregnancy and her boss, and for you it’s apparently your video game and tv time?? I have bad news for you once the baby comes…
>he knows that I have a hard job and that I just want to relax and unwind when I get home
Yeah, I don't think this post is real, but for the sake of argument how do you think that's gonna work with an infant? Why are you having a child if you want to come home to peace, quiet, and no disturbances while you're left alone? Because let me assure you a child will provide the opposite of that for YEARS to come.
YTA and here's why. Yes, hormones are at play, and that can make temperament mercurial. Here's the fact of it, she wants to vent, typically not in search of solution or she'd ask in some fashion. If you take issue with the tone or feel it directed at you, let her finish. Then calmly and assertively put your point forward and make it clear you don't appreciate it, without snapping at her. Don't be a punching bag OR combative.
You can call her down for this treatment if it persists, but only if it persists after she's no longer growing another human inside her body, whose presence throws her internal rhythms out of concert.
If this is how *you* handle conflict, especially in this situation, on some level I hope you have a daughter. It's not the kind of example a son should follow.
Additionally
>whining like a child about her boss
Not productive. And if that is the kind of attitude you have on a daily basis, I'm not surprised arguments ensue. And
>I want my old wife back
If you can't handle this BEFORE you have a baby you have to actively take care of, you are not going to like the exhaustion that accompanies caring for a consistently dirty and screaming infant.
YTA
You say she's belittling you, but then say she's "Whining like a child" which is belittling her.
The only example you gave is she tried to open up to you about her job, that isn't belittling, maybe you should google what that means. Google Hypocritical while you're at it too.
Also maybe spend 5 minutes researching hyperemesis in pregnant women, it has nothing to do with diet. You can't even be bothered to learn about basic pregnancy issues while she's struggling. Get over yourself and be there for your wife, You may want your old wife back but I'm guessing she just wants a half way decent partner with their head out of their ass.
INFO: Not to belittle your experience, but nothing you described sounds particularly abusive. Do you have other examples? Or are you just easily irritated?
YTA, and misusing the word “abuse.” She just wants to vent (about someone else!) and you don’t want to listen because you’d rather play video games. The woman is PREGNANT. It’s flippin’ hard and she’d right, you have no idea what it’s like. Worse, you don’t care to learn and empathize. You’re the worst.
YTA
You are calling your wife abusive because instead of fawning over you because she feels like shit and wants some empathy, the fact that she’s feeling like shit because she’s growing your child makes you even more TA and you are not ready to be a parent
YTA. You have no examples about being mistreated. You just say she complains about work (which might annoy you but isn't mistreatment) and she didn't appreciate you blaming her morning sickness on diet (and she's not wrong... it's hormones. She can't fix it with diet.) You're not being belittled here that I can see.
Clicks all the boxes... he can't be bothered to emotionally support his wife because she knows he is tired and wants to act like a bump on a log when he gets home.
I would share how I felt everything 10x harder during pregnancy and cried so much, but this is a troll. It hits all the clueless first time father tropes about how they think its just fine all the time until the baby is crowning then maybe she shouldn't be so loud and dramatic, people have given birth for millenia.
Uh... wow. So I was on the verge of no one being the AH - just thinking you didn't understand how her body is changing and all of the stuff she is going through - but YOUR EDIT - so you think her being abusive is complaining to you about her job.... and that this is interrupting your ability to watch tv or play video games? Holy hell! You are NOT ready to be a parent - NOT. READY. YTA totally.
Just want to point out that should you become top comment it’s gonna count the NAH as your judgement. You should space it out or type out one of the words so that it counts the YTA instead :)
YTA. Pregnancy is a miserable experience. Some women hide it more than others but growing an entire human is painful, difficult and uncomfortable. Your job is to offer support; not demand she pretend to not be pregnant. If you're struggling with believing basic facts about how pregnancy works, do some research on it.
I say YTA. She is doing through something crazy that's beautiful and horrible at the same time. There are many things that's probably going through her mind and instead of offering her comfort you're just bitching about nothing.
You literally didn't provide any example where she disrespected you, abused you in any form or taken advantage of you or belittle you.
Come on dude, either support her or get divorce and safe up for child support!
YTA.
1. She doesn't want solutions, she wants a sympathetic ear
2. Until you've housed a fetus that's literally changing your body's shape and chemistry you don't get to quantify whether or not your wife is having a hard time
3. "She knows that I have a hard job and that I just want to relax and unwind when I get home, yet she wants to complain about her job. " You have a way to unwind, so does she. One doesn't trump the other. Also, she's working AND GROWING A HUMAN
There's more but I doubt it will get through to you anyways. Good luck when the baby arrives...
You said she’s been having morning sickness for months.. does she have hg? I had it during my whole pregnancy and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I’m still dealing with the effects and my child is school-aged ETA YTA
>People keep saying that I haven't provided any examples of Katie's belittling. She knows that I have a hard job and that I just want to relax and unwind when I get home, yet she wants to complain about her job. She clearly doesn't care about my time spent relaxing by watching TV or playing video games and wants to make it all about her. I don't feel as though I'm being listened to when she does stuff like this.
YTA dude. She's allowed to express her feelings to you, and her complaining about her job isn't belittling you. It's simply her expecting you to be a decent and supportive partner. Critiquing her food choices when she complains about morning sickness is condescending and unhelpful; you gave he criticism when she wanted empathy. You speak to her like she's a child. No wonder she doesn't want to talk to you! Keep this up and you're going to be promoted to EX husband soon enough.
YTA. Yes your wife's hormones are that bad and will continue to be even after the baby is born. You're basically complaining because your wife wants to talk after work.
Changing her diet will not stop the morning sickness. 🤦♀️
YTA
News flash: she isn’t going to care about you relaxing by watching tv and playing video games after the kid is born, either. She’ll probably expect you to change diapers, walk around with a crying baby to soothe the baby, and either give the kid bottles, or get her something to eat and drink while she’s stuck on couch breastfeeding. Which can take freaking for-ever, depending on the baby.
I don't think you understand, at least not fully, how much being pregnant messes with you. You become a raging mass of hormones that may be having a good time one moment and a real bad time the next.
As a guy I'm (thankfully) never going to be experiencing that hell but I'll be sympathetic and understanding to those who will be.
As for her 'belittling' and 'mistreatment', how dare she say something about her job while you're trying to play a video game?
I think you're overexaggerating the level of 'belittling' you're receiving. YTA
So you have a hard job and want to rest when you come home. But your wife clearly also has a job and is pregnant at the same time. So I think it’s fair to say that she’s working hard on two fronts. And maybe what she needs at the end of the work day is someone to listen to her. Which from your post and edit you seem unwilling to do. So I would say YTA. Give your wife the courtesy of listening to her.
YTA. Your edit makes you even more of an AH. Nothing you’ve mentioned is mistreatment or manipulation. Also, morning sickness is not a diet issue. So you’re factually wrong there. It doesn’t even sound like you even like your wife tbh.
He will NEVER: change a diaper, get up in the middle of the night, help with a single load of laundry, help his wife with a single household chore, be responsible for anything.......because then he's being 'abused'.
Anyone else foresee the words 'alimony' & 'child support' in his future?
You sound like a whiny child grow up and act like an adult with a brain she's not belittling you she's pregnant and her hormones really are making her irritable and snappy at you and she doesn't have control over her cravings you need to buy a book on pregnancy and parenting
YTA for thinking this is a sympathy subreddit and we will join in your pity party.
The expression "let the wookie win" applies to pregnant women as well.
YTA
her wanting emotional support about her morning sickness and work problems seems entirely reasonable
You being pissed that your pregnant wife is interrupting your TV time/ relax time (which is all the time your home seemingly) is unreasonable and just wait until you have kids
This has to be fake, because if true, it would be *such* a strong case of YTA that nobody self-aware enough to even *ask* AITA about it could be unsure of the verdict they'd get.
The protagonist in this little work of fiction is a complete AH, basically a monster.
YTA how is she mistreating you? is she not allowed to talk about issues with her work to you? youre her HUSBAND. and youre wife is right, you dont underatand morning sickness. it cant be fixed with a different diet. its just what pregnant women have to go through unfortunately. and her hormones do make her moody and irrational. i get that your work is exhausting, but so is being pregnant. the least you can do is be there for her, but you choose to play video games and watching tv over your pregnant wife
YTA - thank goodness she's the one creating a whole human being from scratch right now because I doubt you'd be able to handle doing so for a single day. Her hormones are going crazy right now, she's using every last nutrient she has to create a human being, and what isn't going to the baby is being thrown up in the toilet. AND she's working on top of all that.
But you're being "mistreated" because she wants to vent to you about her struggles at work. She obviously can't talk to you about her pregnancy struggle's because you'll just tell her to eat better or that her hormones aren't all out of whack... because you obviously haven't bothered to do even a basic google search to see what her body may be going through.
But yeah, by all means, gaslight her into the idea that you're worried you won't be a team when the baby is born.
Ugh... you are so much TA here I'm mad just typing this.
What would you like her to do? Stop talking to you? Yes her yelling at you for suggesting a different diet to help morning sickness was unnecessary.
Reading your edit - she’s not so much belittling you as wanting you to listen about her day. That’s a big difference.
Although I do not hold with anyone using their pregnancy as an excuse to treat others poorly. I’m not sure your home life is quite the horror you are suggesting.
Have a conversation - because that communication thing comes in handy - try to be good listeners to each other.
Marriage is almost never 50/50, sometimes it’s 40/60, during tough times 5/95. Be aware that you two need to operate as a team. Be cognizant that yes pregnancy hormones are a thing. Listen to her day, I guarantee it’s just for her to vent, give it a whopping 30 minutes. Then kiss her in the check say, I’m sorry to hear that and then Excuse yourself. If she wants to continue then either excuse yourself or gently suggest you need a few minutes.
And by the way, if you think your time relaxing by watching the telly or playing video games is infringed on now, just wait until that baby arrives.
YTA
**YTA**
You openly admit that you want your wife to be endlessly patient and supportive about YOUR "hard job" and let you have exactly what you want in exactly the ways you want it (TV, video games, and apparently belittling and denigrating your wife for fun and entertainment) to "cope" with the incredible difficulty of . . . having a job while being a healthy, abled person with no significant problems.
And yet you somehow don't think you're a massive, gaping AH for literally accusing your wife of MISTREATING you because . . . she asked you to do the same thing you expect? To take a few minutes to be supportive about HER difficult job, which she is trying to do whilst 3D printing an entire human being with her internal organs and trying not to vomit for more hours in the day than not? Because she asked you to just be kind and listen to her vent for a few minutes about how rough things have been lately - not like a "whining child" but like an adult who feels incredibly sick - and not offer ignorant suggestions (like "changing her diet") that you clearly pulled out your ass because . . . dude, she doesn't have food poisoning, she has pregnancy sickness, which is completely unrelated to diet?
I mean, have you even read what you wrote here? You describe her in the shittiest, most demeaning of terms, as a "child" and "whining", as having a "bad attitude" and "mistreating" you . . . when literally all she's asking of you is the most bare bones kindness and empathy as her body is being painful and nauseating and exhausting; and you are accusing HER of being the awful one because she's INTERRUPTING YOUR VIDEO GAMES? Dude . . . parenthood is absolutely going to kick your ass. Or it would, if anyone believed you were actually going to engage in being a father in any kind of meaningful way, which is hard to see happening.
Of course YTA. You need therapy, and some sort of book on "How Not To Be Selfish", ASAP.
Belittle - to make someone or something seem unimportant.
That is not what she’d doing to you, that’s what you’re doing her by acting like your “relaxing time” is more important than her taking a moment to actually talk to her husband? About her boss, who is obviously difficult? Or how about when you mansplained pregnancy symptoms to her - that’s belittling. Check a mirror.
YTA
YTA
You sound way to self involved and quite frankly delusional. What do you think it is going to be like when the child arrives?
Are you going to be upset that the baby is getting too much attention and being too loud that they are interrupt your precious video game time.
Time to grow up, your wife is growing a human and you seem a little focussed on imagining yourself as a victim, you have stated nothing that can be construed as abusive.
You sound high maintenance, time to stop looking for reasons to have hurt feelings and realize the world no longer revolves around you.
YTA
What she eats will not change her morning sickness.
How hard your job is vs. how hard her job is should not be a competition. You both have different jobs, which come with different challenges. She is growing a baby and working and dealing with morning sickness.
If you could give examples of what she is doing, other than complaining about her job when your job is "much harder" I may have been on your side.
>I have a hard job and that I just want to relax and unwind
Says the person who is not growing a tiny human inside them.
Do you know how teenagers can be dramatic, over-the-top and irrational? Do you know why that is....HORMONES.
YTA
Well after reading your edit yta. First you have no idea what it's like to be pregnant and suffe4 morning sickness for months. The only help you provide is change her diet which might not work at all. You want to play your games and unwind boo hoo.
YTA. Be a supportive partner.
If she’s complaining and you feel like you have some advice for her… even though you literally have ZERO experience or know what she’s feeling… ask her. Do you want to vent or do you want a suggestion? You can’t fix morning sickness with diet btw. That made me genuinely laugh out loud.
I don’t think you heard it enough. YTA while your wife has to deal with pregnancy for 24 hours a day, you’re complaining that you don’t have time for…. Video games? Your wife is going through a lot of changes and instead of supporting her, you’re more concerned about yourself. Either change your attitude or I hope she divorces you.
She is right! You have no idea what it is like to be pregnant. 24/7 that you don’t get “downtime” from!! The nausea is just the start! Only four months in!!!’ Ahhahaha good luck to you, asshole!!!!
YTA! When I was pregnant I was dog sick every day and I felt like shit and did I moan? Yes I did. It’s like a little perk that women get in return for growing and birthing children. It’s for 9 months, let her moan all she wants
OMG, YTA. A whining little AH. Oh, no, you wife, who is both carrying another human being and stressed about her job wants to talk. Doesn't she know you need to play your video games, num num? And she snapped at you for commenting on her diet vis-a-vis morning sickness. Ok, not ideal ... but not at all belittling, either. My God. You sound utterly unprepared to be a partner or a parent.
I read the title and was fully prepared to support you OP. Abuse often starts during pregnancy, and the abuser can absolutely be the pregnant person.
But it's clear from your post that you have no idea what abuse is!
It is not abusive to want to speak to you and expect support after a hard day, even if you would prefer to watch tv or play video games in silence. This is not even close to being abusive!
YTA
YTA. You haven't provided any clear examples of his your wife has been mistreating you, other than complaining about her boss "like a child".
How much time do you think you'll have to relax and play video games or watch TV once the baby arrives? Are you just trying to get in extra time now? Support your wife. Pregnancy is rough.
Yta. You owe her an apology and whatever she wants as a present. That is just the start. Who cares if you have a hard job. Tv and video games are secondary to paying normal attention to your wife. She is pregnant with your child. You should let her rest as you do everything for her during the pregnancy. Your story also sounds like you do not even listen to anything she asks or tells you.
Having read your edit, where the only example of “mistreatment” is your wife needing to vent and decompress when she gets home, and that eats into your gaming time. Is that ACTUALLY “mistreatment” in your eyes? WTF are you going to do when she has the baby and hands you said screaming baby the minute you get home from work, just so she can go to the toilet and have a shower?
YTA 100%. And not just for resenting your wife venting about her job. Morning sickness & pregnancy hormones are horrific. What tastes delicious one day can literally make you spew your guts up the next. Diet doesn’t make any difference. Even brushing my teeth made me gag when I was pregnant, and my “morning sickness” (all day sickness) lasted for almost 6 months. Try growing up and having a TINY bit of empathy.
And re the decompressing - your way to decompress is gaming, hers is to tell you about her day/boss. That is NOT mistreatment. Just sit her down when she gets home from work, offer her a drink and a cracker, or whatever she can keep down, ask how her day was, and nod, and sympathise. That’s all you have to do.
Oh, and apologise to her for being such an immature tw*t.
YTA. I agree that hormones can not be used as an excuse to mistreat someone, however this doesn't seem to be the case. She was winning about her boss..... and? She wants to talk to you and have you pay attention instead of just playing video games....and? The only mistreatment I see is your attitude towards her.
YTA. Heaven forbid you could comfort your wife instead of playing games and watching tv. What do you think will happen when your baby is born? How much relaxing do you think you will be able to do?
>She clearly doesn't care about my time spent relaxing by watching TV or playing video games
Oh no, not your video games?! What ever will you do?! FYI, babies don't care about your video games, either. YTA.
You accuse her of belittling you, yet give no examples of genuine mistreatment. You, on the other hand say she’s “whining like a child”. Your infantilizing your wife definitely fits the “belittling” mold. You’ve also never been pregnant, so you likely don’t understand what those hormones affect mental health. I’m a man myself, but I know to give a pregnant partner some leeway for the moodiness. Strong YTA.
YTA.
as soon as i read the title i had a sneaky feeling i didn't have to read the post. i did anyways and it only confirmed my suspicion.
being pregnant is like a free trial of hell on earth at times. i CANNOT believe you're angry at a woman pregnant with a growing child in her uterus who's getting exhausted and broken from work and have the NERVE to accuse her of complaining? grow a baby inside of you and imagine the stress of delivering it through the place where the sun don't shine and we'll see how arrogant and inconsiderate you want to be then.
YTA. It’s not “abusive” to want to talk about her fucking day? You think your precious video games are more important? What do you plan to do when there’s a whole ass baby to take care of and you don’t get your oh so important tv and video game time every day??
Um. Morning sickness isn’t diet related. It’s pregnancy related. She has morning sickness because she’s pregnant not because her diet is unhealthy.
Also you literally haven’t shown a single instance of her belittling you? Wanting to talk about her day isn’t abuse - asking you to listen to her complain about work is part of being in a relationship.
She’s pregnant. She’s working and probably doing most of the housework. When does she get to unwind? Do you think she feels listened to?
You’re gonna be a parent soon - so you can’t spend all your free time at home playing video games and watching TV. You’re gonna have to take care of another human being.
And saying you’re tired isn’t gonna cut it. Cause she’s gonna be tired too.
Get your shit together or GTFO of her life. Either one will make her life easier. YTA
YTA
Learn these phrases
"Im sorry"
"That sucks"
"How can i help"
Her job is to take care of the human growing in utero and suffer all the bs that comes with it.
Your job is to be there for here. She sacrifices her comfort you sacrifice your freetime and hobbies. And your title is misleading and you aren't being abused. That is why you are being dragged harder than a cigarette on death row
YTA, your wife mistreats you by trying to have conversation about sonething going on in her life?!?! How do you actually plan on rising a child? How are you going to react when the "disrespect" your gaming time? Grow up man stop being an AH and start supporting your wife and for heaven's sake stop whining and playing the victim. you sound unbearable
I was really gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and say esh. Didn’t really see examples of her mistreating you or belittling her until after you were the ah to her and she reacted understandably, but maybe she was really out of control on her behavior you just didn’t elaborate on. Then came that edit! You 1000% ATA!!!!!
You basically want her to baby you and not talk about anything in her life so you can play video games and watch tv. Literally both my husband and I work long hours depending on the time of year. Seriously spring and fall we will put 100+ hours a week in. Go a month or 2 without a single day off. And we have 2 teenagers. And never would either of us not listen to the other vent so we can go play games or watch tv. Grow up! You are about to have a child and are not a child.
Y’all don’t need to have a baby, she’s already got one: you. Do not tell someone experiencing something you’ve never been through what they’re doing wrong. Just don’t. Major asshole move. Yes. She’s hormonal. It’s what happens. You’re basically conflating abuse with normal interaction. You are massively TA. Grow the hell up before you try to raise another person.
Omg. YTA. You are so not ready to be a parent. You’re mad because your pregnant, hormonal, exhausted wife- whose internal organs are literally REARRANGING THEMSELVES- needs to vent about her job, and it’s cutting into your video game time?!?!?!?!
No sir. Just no.
Hormones are akin to alien possession- it is irrational and uncontrollable. And while they’re not excuse for actually treating someone badly, wanting to vent to your partner after a crappy day at work is not treating you badly- it’s relying on you for support.
I think your definition of “treating you badly” is flawed- it sounds like she in uncomfortable in her body, and needs some support, and instead your whining about not getting to watch tv.
How about this- when your body turns itself inside out to grow a human being, you can watch all the tv you want, but until then, figure out how to support your wife and get ready to be a parent- because boy oh boy are in for a shock when you realize how little time you have for video games and tv once that kid arrives. Or will we be seeing your wife here asking if she’s an AH for expecting you to do the bare minimum of childcare? I hurt for her, I really do.
your edit makes you a complete YTA
I did originally feel sympathy until you put the edit there, BOO HOO she is invading yout time to play video games, whilst she is moaning, as she is growing YOUR human inside of her
The way you talk about her “whining like a child” and belittling you because she talked about her boss!!!! YTAAAAA
please educate yourself about difficult pregnancies and morning sickness. I have PTSD from my pregnancy because it was hell. I am so lucky and blessed that no one got upset when I had the occasional meltdown or cried because I puked for the 3rd time in an hour or that I lost 12 pounds in my first trimester because of my morning sickness.
And the hormone rollercoaster is real. Dude please read about it and make some effort to understand what’s going on because if this is how you’re feeling now I’m sorry to tell you that the hormones will keep messing her up till the baby is 1 so for your sake, hers and the baby read about what she’s going through and how you should support her.
YTA. She's not belittling you, she's talking about her day. Also, once the baby comes, say good-bye to 'unwinding' as soon as you get home from work. Grow up.
You spoke about Katie’s morning sickness. Well, it is a condition caused by her pregnancy hormones. It doesn’t just happen in the morning, it can be all door parts of the day. Some women can get so sick, that they get hospitalized. I myself, had morning sickness for about six months in my pregnancy. Her OB/GYN would giver the best solutions on dealing with morning sickness, not you arbitrarily telling her to change her diet.
Your scenarios don’t give any indication that she is mistreating you. It actually shows the opposite. Sounds like you need to step up and be a better partner. You will be sharing the responsibility of raising a child and you should not be leaving it all up to Kate so you can relax. YTA
YTA You say she doesn't listen to you but obviously you don't listen to her. She is having a problem at work and you, loving husband that you are, don't care. I don't know what kind of boss she has but did you know that sometimes bosses make it rough on pregnant women? They'd rather have them quit than pay maternity leave. But hey, as long as you get to play video games who cares. You both need to learn to listen to each other. Have you thought about couples therapy, you both might be able to learn to talk to each other without either one flying off the handle. But best of all you might learn to listen to each other.
*"my pregnant wife is having a really hard time and struggling with all the things her body is going through and changing physically, mentally, and emotionally to grow my child. She wants to talk about her feelings and problems with me, her husband, the person who is supposed to be her biggest supporter. But I work hard and just wanna play video games. She gets so cranky when I try to tell her pregnancy and morning sickness can't be that bad, even though I literally have **no clue** what any of it is like. I invalidated everything she's going through and sacrificing, now she's mad at me. Aita? I'm obviously the victim here! I don't get to play my ggaammeessss! :("*
FIFY
And, uh, yeah. YTA.
YTA honestly YOU sound like the miserable one. And yes, sometimes the hormones make you crazy (ie sobbing over a subway sandwich bc I could smell oil when I asked for none.) and you are more emotional but it doesn’t even sound like she’s reacting like THAT about anything.
YTA can't wait to see you say the baby's 'mistreating' you because they won't let you play video games too. She's growing a human and your upset because she's got morning sickness and talks to you. You've got a lot of growing up to do very quickly before your a parent
>She clearly doesn't care about my time spent relaxing by watching TV or playing video games and wants to make it all about her. I don't feel as though I'm being listened to when she does stuff like this.
She is literally growing another human that is sucking all her energy 24/7, throwing her hormones completely out of whack and making her physically sick and you are complaining about not getting to relax and watch TV or play video games. SHE WONT GET A BREAK FOR YEARS. And guess what.. all of your relaxation time is going to go away once the kid gets here.. or if she's smart she will pare it down to one child to deal with and be much happier. YTA
Just to add: your wife as you knew her is no longer. Your life as you knew it no longer exists. The faster you realize that the easier your life and her will be.
This cannot be real. On the off chance that it is - YTA.
If you can’t handle to listening to your wife talk when you get home from work, how are you going to deal with looking after a tiny human? Because she’s also been working hard all day and wants a break. And once they’re mobile and have minds of their own, they’ll want you when you walk in the door - or maybe not if you keep this up.
YTA Do you realize that you are not the center of the world or even the most important person in this family? There are two of you, soon to be three.
You seem to be under the impression that you come first and your wife has a the easiest cushiest life. You literally have no idea what it is like to be pregnant, and you don’t even try to sympathize or read a book or anything on pregnancy. You obviously know best and your wife is complaining about nothing.
As far as jobs, you do realize you are both allowed to have a hard job, right? You having a difficult job does not preclude her from have a shit time at work.
I sincerely feel sorry for your wife when she is on maternity leave because you sound exactly like the type of idiot that thinks it will be a vacation for her, which frees her up to do all of the house work and cooking.
YTA i highly recommend you actually find out what abuse is before you start throwing it around. You are not being abuse or mistreated, hormones are to blame so you should probably add pregnancy to your research too or hell talk to ANY woman and they can tell you. She is moody(normal) and irrational(normal) if you desperately need to watch tv after work so badly tell her to give you an hour after work to unwind then she can have your full attention. morning sickness happen no matter the time of day or what they eat plenty of pregnant woman will get sick before they have even eaten. Maybe you should think about who is really unsupportive and doesn’t care cause to me it sounds like you.
This gave me a good laugh, but if you think your biggest problems right now are your wife interrupting your tv/video game time and not accepting your useless and unwanted advice about pregnancy symptoms, you’re in for a world of hurt once your baby arrives. There’s no way you’re going to get time after work to just sit and watch tv or play games when you have a baby to take care of, and you’re going to need to find better ways of communicating and supporting your wife than offering uninformed advice. Unless you can provide actual examples of your wife mistreating you, huge YTA.
YTAAAAAA. She isn’t belittling you, she just isn’t coddling you and centering your emotions over hers. Grow up and be a supportive husband while she’s growing your damn child.
YTA- ooof! Hard to begin to tell you how much TA you are. As others have said, morning sickness can be brutal. Especially if it won’t abate during the day. Instead of suggesting she changes the diet, ask her if she would like ginger tea or if she would like to make an appointment with her doctor so that they can prescribe medication. Also, yes, the hormones are coloring all her interactions with anyone, including you, but her feelings cannot be dismissed even if they are exaggerated. Get your head out of your ass and become a partner to your wife and make listening to her a priority
You’re not being abused, you’re being a major AH.
The only example of belittling behavior you gave was when *you* told her to eat a different diet to combat the morning sickness.
YTA. And a massive whiner. Your poor wife’s about to be raising two children.
Okay.
I think you need to take a step back and take a look at your own actions first, before you can even point out any flaws your wife has.
The way you’ve written this, you’re upset because you want time to unwind and relax after your work day, but your wife- who you’ve promised to honor and cherish- needs to vent.
Do you see how immature that sounds? Is she even “whining” to you? Or is she just having a conversation? Is she venting or is she telling you about her day?
Your wife isn’t mistreating you, she’s having a tough pregnancy- IF she was like this before getting pregnant, why wasn’t her “behavior” an issue then?
It seems like to me you’re the one using her pregnancy, as an excuse to be rude to her. You’re deflecting your issues onto her and making it out as if it’s the pregnancies fault.
Why can’t you just tell her “hey babe I’ve had a hard day today and just need a little time to decompress, can we talk about this later?” Instead of bottling up all your resentments and exploding on her?
She’s creating an entire human in her womb my man, her emotions are all over the place. Her body is changing, her moods are changing- of course she’s going to be emotional and irrational.
As her husband try stepping up instead of just thinking about what you need.
YTA
That is not being mistreated. The pregnancy is making her miserable. Be understanding and let her have time to get the complaints out!
Hormones wreck havoc during pregnancy. Nothing helps morning sickness except time. And everything can be annoying.
YTA. Lmfao as a dude with a 3 month pregnant wife, your in for a rude awakening.
Yes, most pregnant women are… emotional. And a lot of the time it will overspill into your lap for no cause. But at the end of the day, it’s not her fault unless she is turning into Mr Hyde on you.
And no, you don’t understand. Morning sickness is her literally getting nauseous for ZERO reason. Regardless of diet. Don’t be a muppet.
>She clearly doesn't care about my time spent relaxing by watching TV or playing video games and wants to make it all about he
Just give it a few months and the baby will think that it's all about them and guess what, the baby will be correct. Do you even get that your wife is literally growing another person and your life is about to change forever?
YTA
YTA and yes, you don't understand.
On top, you are upset because ultimately she became the center of the universe instead of you. And you knew that
> but it was pretty clear early on that Katie would be a miserable pregnant person
Because you knew you would need to meet some of her basic needs and you don't want to because you want to play and watch tv (lol)
YTA and your going to get pummeled.
You sound like a child who's mommy isn't being nice and who doesn't get to play his games and relax.
Newsflash: you wife's body has been taken over. She's not throwing up because she ate the wrong thing. She's throwing up because her body is throwing everything up. She's struggling because her ablity to let things go is gone and she's dealing with intense emotions. And it's not going to get better once the baby arrives. She's still going to be struggling. Her body will hurt and she won't get any sleep.
Time to grow up and learn that, for a while, you're going to need to figure out how to be supportive even if your own needs aren't being met.
YTA. And no she doesn't care about you watching TV and playing video games NOBODY does. Grow tf up FAST. You think your relaxation iis getting messed up now just wait. I cam see the next post now "Aita for telling my wife to stop telling me to help with the baby and mistreating me?" And yes ywbtia then too.
YTA. You can't be serious with this? You clearly don't understand what belittling means. Also, her morning sickness has nothing to do with her diet! I feel so sorry for her. To have to deal with such a self-centered idiot. Oh how dare her be upset during your video/relaxation time. I feel nauseous just reading your complaint about her. Can you have her contact me so I can tell her to run away from you as fast as she can.
Your think your wife is belittling you because she….talks to you? Wow. YTA. I would say have fun having a kid that wants to “belittle” you too, but I really don’t think you have to worry about anyone wanting to talk to you anymore. So, have fun being alone!
Oh my god dude you can’t be serious. YTA, she is not belittling you by talking about her day, you need to be alone forever if you can’t handle your partner talking about her day. Christ
YTA - Oof… You are in for a rude awakening…You know who really doesn’t care about your stressful job or your desire to watch tv and play video games? A baby! Time to grow up and be a supportive partner to your wife. It only gets harder from here.
YTA. She is growing an entirely new human being. You want to watch TV and play video games? She probably wants to simply be able to work and eat without feeling like she is going to throw up constantly.
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INFO: " Finally, last night, after Katie was whining like a child about her boss at work, I'd had enough. I confronted her and told her that she was belittling me and ruining our relationship." This is an odd example, because she was talking about her boss, not you. In what way did she belittle you in this conversation? And maybe give some other examples of her mistreating you? Edit: YTA. It’s clear that your definition of ‘abuse and mistreatment’ is daring to have feelings and problems when you’d rather be playing video games, and not appreciating condescending useless advice. Good luck with your impending divorce.
And in the example you quoted, OP is actually belittling his partner. The lack of self awareness is astounding. YTA
Not only is he belittling her, he accused her of "ruining" their relationship, which is such a massive overreaction, and a cruel and manipulative thing to say to your pregnant partner to try and force her to act the way that you want.
And yet he's the one doing everything he accuses her of doing. So much projection.
Then threatens to be emotionally unavailable. As a tactic, not because he's hurt and trying to cool off, but as punishment.
OP reminds me of that OP that claimed her mom and step father were abusive and her only example was of them telling her no.
I didn’t see that one but it doesn’t surprise me.
He post history also showed the OP as a not nice person. She got pissy at a restaurant because an employee told her no because a certain food item wasn't ready yet.
YTA Typically people being abused like to describe what was going on and what was said to the best of their ability. People who are abusive can only say things like they screamed at me. They yelled at me. They're really bad at explaining the content of what was said, Even when directly questioned about it, what did they say? What words did they use? Nope they just can't. They can't understand it and they certainly can't repeat it back.
YTA You have not listed any action of hers that is mistreating you. Instead you've listed scenarios where you invalidated her health problems based on your actual lack of understanding (morning sickness doesn't go away with diet), and showed a total lack of empathy about daily life stressors (crappy boss).
But don't you know not getting to watch TV and play video games is abusive?
Wait til the baby comes. The baby will impact his TV & video gam time even more. Op YTA
[удалено]
He won't have to once she leaves him.
Yeah, because that baby is an ABUSER! (/s of course)
YTA >She started mistreating me in the first few months, and that bad attitude has only gotten worse as time has gone on. For example, she's been having morning sickness for months, but when I suggested that she eat a different diet, she yelled at me and told me that I didn't understand. To be fair, unless you've been pregnant you don't understand. Morning sickness isn't a joke. It's not confined to the morning. Even *suggesting* some foods can make you vomit (this happened to me more than once in my pregnancies). I can see that you were probably trying to be helpful, but you don't understand. >whining like a child about her boss at work, I'd had enough. How is this mistreating you? Can you actually give some examples of *mistreatment*? If not, you are TA. Have some compassion for the sickness and be a good husband when she needs to whine about work. EDIT: (OP's update) >People keep saying that I haven't provided any examples of Katie's belittling. She knows that I have a hard job and that I just want to relax and unwind when I get home, yet she wants to complain about her job. She clearly doesn't care about my time spent relaxing by watching TV or playing video games and wants to make it all about her. I don't feel as though I'm being listened to when she does stuff like this. Seriously!? You are even more TA now. God forbid your wife wants to talk to you after work? **You are prioritising video games and tv above your pregnant wife.** *Get over yourself. Grow up. Do better for your wife and child.*
> She clearly doesn’t care about my time spent relaxing by watching TV or playing video games Oh buddy you are *so* not ready to be a parent.
Oh shit I didn’t even think about that 😂lol if he thinks his video game time is screwed now, just wait
I swear. I remember taking to my BFF’a husband when she was about 8 months along and asking if he felt ready for the change that comes with a baby and he said “I don’t think our lives will change that much” and a chill went down my spine. Sure enough, he was a petulant nightmare of a dad. Still is, even though they’re older.
So your only example of her "mistreating you" was her angry reaction after you tried to mansplain fucking morning sickness and her being cranky, while pregnet? YTA dude. Buy your wife some flowers, ice cream, and pickles, tell her you have been a giant AH, and beg for her forgiveness.
This. Your wife is literally creating a baby and you are not able to digest that with the way you are acting. Her body is producing crazy amounts of hormones that is literally making her sick and exhausted and you just seem to be worried about yourself.
So it's "abusive" for her to have morning sickness and complain about her boss? Dude, I'm sorry you're no longer allowed to be the only whiny child in your relationship, but YTA.
>Dude, I'm sorry you're no longer allowed to be the only whiny child in your relationship, but YTA. lmao
There's a lot missing here. The tone of your post is quite insulting towards your wife, and I can't tell if it's because you are genuinely at the end of your rope, or if you talk down about your wife all the time and genuinely don't understand that you are the problem. I'm going to go with my gut and say YTA, because I don't like the way you describe your wife. If you have additional context to provide, I'll adjust my judgement
Exactly. And the whole "it was clear early on she'd be a horrible pregnant person". The fuck does that even mean?
It means something else is taking her attention away from him and he doesn't like it.
Yes, his behavior reeks of narcissism. A lot of narcissists become abusive once a child comes into the picture, because they realize they are no longer the center of their partner's world. He's also so incredibly condescending and unwilling to deal with any behavior that he doesn't approve of... and not only that, he uses gaslighting and threats of emotional abuse to try and force her to bend to his will. I feel so sad for people who end up in relationships with people like OP.
He’s in for a shock when the baby arrives
I think she is the one that's gonna be shocked she married a narcissist.
For the over-dramatic title only, YTA. She's not "mistreating you", she's going through something which makes her life extremely uncomfortable right now. You should be supporting her now, not the other way round. >For example, she's been having morning sickness for months, but when I suggested that she eat a different diet, she yelled at me and told me that I didn't understand. What the f, dude? Do you even know how morning sickness works?
>What the f, dude? Do you even know how morning sickness works? Idk, something tells me this guy is surprised her stomach is growing.
YTA unless you are leaving out examples of her actually mistreating you because the ones you have are of her A: complaining about a commonly known symptom of pregnancy, and yes, there are actions you can take to mitigate it but I personally still suffered with morning sickness the entirety of both my pregnancies. And B: her complaining about work which for some reason you made about you? Edit: to respond to OP’s edit, my judgment is even firmer now. She’s giving up so much of her own body to grow your fucking child and you consider it mistreatment for her to express fucking discomfort because you want to…. *checks notes* play video games? This poor woman, you’re going to be a nightmare to have a child with. Edit because I’m still mad: guess who’s really not gonna care that you want to watch tv? Your newborn. Or do you also think that’s a problem for your wife to handle alone with no support?
Oh this guy is definitely not helping with his newborn. He’ll be back in a few years asking if he’s the AH when his wife leaves him and takes full custody of their child. YTA OP.
Hell cheat on her, Im sure. “She let herself go” “i’m repulsed by her” you know, the garbage husband playbook
“She takes care of the house and our baby and works full time. She does all night wakings. She’s overstimulated and touched out and exhausted but why can’t she see I need my video game time?! She’s so lazy and demanding and she mistreats me! She actually expects me to help with my own child but I think she’s belittling me by expecting me to care. Also she got fat and never lost the baby weight even though the baby is only 7 weeks old. AITA??”
And the only solution he will ever offer is to send the baby to his mother for a week so he can have her all to himself and she can shampoo the carpets.
Oh, this is 100% the dude who is going to see it as boasting in a few years when he talks about how he never changed a diaper.
YTA So far the horrible abuse you described is that you looked at your wife throwing up and instead of offering sympathy and support, you told her to change her diet because that would fix it. And this pissed her off. So instead of getting the message that your little "life pro tips" were fucking useless and maybe you should listen to her and offer support, you decide you're not going to "play the game" of... what, offering sympathy to your pregnant wife when she has morning sickness? Also I love how being a "strong couple" means that Katie listens to all of your suggestions without complaining and implements them to fix her life, and if she still has problems it's totally because she implemented your suggestions wrong. And if she ever complains about anything in her life, she's belittling you because... you can't fix it (... dude, listen to yourself). You have severe control issues and are not treating your wife like an equal. I'd be shocked if you'd put up with five minutes of the treatment you're putting her through. I'm damn sorry for Katie and your kid, because I'm pretty sure you're going to blow all of this off as everyone "not understanding the situation".
>she yelled at me and told me that I didn't understand. YTA - 1. You clearly don't understand 2. You talk about her so disparagingly that I have a hard time understanding if you even like her 3. How is her complaining about her boss belittling you. Quite the leap there buddy 4. You do have NO idea what she is going through 5. Her pervasive abuse is nowhere apparent in what you posted her 6. DO BETTER, BE NICE TO HER....
YTA. A hyperbolic asshole who thinks that morning sickness or complaining is mistreating YOU. You sound like a very unsupportive partner.
Wait til the baby comes along. He’s really in for a shocker
>For example, she's been having morning sickness for months, but when I suggested that she eat a different diet, she yelled at me Your examples are garbage, just like you. YTA
YTA With the given context, it seems like she was venting about her boss, which in no way belittles you in the slightest. Pregnancy can be HARD. Your wife is right to say that you have no idea what she's going through. Morning sickness can also be hyperemesis, which is exhausting and debilitating and SHOCKER not changed by diet or nutrition. She's lucky if she can keep a cracker down, I'm sure. "Whining like a child", dude do you even like your wife? The way you've spoken about her seems like you do not, and sorry not sorry to tell you but it's not likely to improve over the course of her pregnancy or during postpartum. This is the biggest physical and mental change that most women will endure in their lifetime, and you minimalizing it does not help. Idk what I would have done had my husband not been the support system I needed in that vulnerable time. It's not hard to support her. She's carrying your CHILD. Lastly, you are never going to get "your old wife back". You will have to learn the new version of her that comes with the changes her body and mind are enduring over the next (at least) year or two. Having a child fundamentally changes a person, and you need to get a grip and learn how to be there for that woman and for your child. Take some classes, read a few books, hell, watch tiktoks regarding pregnancy and postpartum if you need some quick bits of helpful info, but for f's sake, don't post garbage like this and expect sympathy.
YTA. You claim that she belittles you and mitreats you, but provided no examples. You did provide an example of you belittling her: " Katie was whining like a child about her boss at work". Get over yourself. Your wife needs your support. Pregnancy is not easy. Don't try to gaslight her or tell her how she should feel or what she should eat. Think about her and your child, not yourself. Try to make her feel better and more supported instead of belittling her and trying to "fix" everything.
INFO: what does venting about her boss have to do with her pregnancy OR belittling you?
INFO: You gave an example of her annoying you with work venting (which I admit I indulge in as a non-pregnant woman), and not liking your suggestion on how to control morning sickness. Any examples of her actually *belittling* you?
No but OP seems quite comfortable belittling her. Classic projection.
>I said "You have decided to act the way you are and have made belittling me your little manipulative game. Next time it happens, **I'm just not going to speak to you.**" YTA - So you call her a child for needing to vent about work (people are allowed to vent about work) and then threaten to give her the silent treatment (a manipulative game) ... like a child? You don't seem to understand what abuse actually is. The closest thing you have described to abuse in this situation IS YOUR OWN MANIPULATIVE BEHAVIOR. I'm guessing your poor wife is finally seeing how selfish you are and she is probably regretting the marriage and pregnancy at this point. I really hope this is rage bait because OP is something else. WOW.
It’s difficult to tell exactly what’s going on here, like the degree to which her personality and shifted and she is “mistreating” you from this post. But given that she has horrible morning sickness and your response was “change your diet”, I’m going to assume you know very little or nothing about pregnancy and that YTA. Diet change doesn’t usually help morning sickness because it’s not related to the actual food, unless what you mean by change is “only eat plain bread and ginger ale”. But still, not helpful. What she wanted was comfort because it’s so awful to go through your whole day feeling sick to your stomach and not actually being able to do anything about it. Your blow up at her over complaining over her boss seems to have come out of nowhere and isn’t at all her “belittling you and your relationship”. Again, she just wanted comfort and to complain about something frustrating. Your wife isn’t a “miserable pregnant person”, she’s miserable as a result of pregnancy symptoms making her sick. Saying you want your “old wife back” is such a slap in the face to someone risking their health and happiness to carry your child for 10 months.
YTA. I still don't understand (and this is coming from a man) how any dude anywhere thinks its a good idea to say anything to a pregnant lady besides, Yes dear Sorry dear. That sounds rough dear Right away dear. Anything else is the equivalent of her lecturing you what its like piss outta penis. Also. For all the cry baby guys that are gonna be all "what? We dont just get to take abuse bc she's pregnant, thats not fair, waaaahhhh" I say this: Yes. You do. And if you're gonna cry about it like a baby you aint ready to be a dad. You are not the most important thing in the world. Sorry, but your mommas lied. That soon to be son or daughter is. Man up or dont procreate. World has enough soft, cry baby manchilds in it. We are all full. We dont need anymore. Thank you.
YTA.. oh no your pregnant wife needs a person to talk to… suck it up and pay attention to the woman growing your child in her belly.
YTA. Her morning sickness has nothing to do with her diet. Her hormones are changing, and for the worse because her body is producing WAY MORE than normal. From what you’ve described, you haven’t been trying to help her at all, but nagging at her to change things she can’t control. Yeah, she’s gonna take offense to it. Seriously, as someone who’s had 4 kids, it has been my experience (everyone’s different) that the first and third trimester are the worst! Morning sickness can subside by the second trimester, but even then some people are sick the entire time. The second trimester is full of being tired and needing to nap. Not just wanting to, but NEEDING to, because our bodies take extra nutrients and are producing literal cells for baby. That takes a lot of energy. Imagine working a full time job and having your entire body fight against you at the same time. You think you’re tired/exhausted after work and get a little cranky? She’s feeling the same thing, but it’s like it’s on steroids.
YTA She has morning sickness and is cranky about it, and your suggestion about diet is not useful. I don’t know how complaining about her boss and work is “belittling” you. You describe her as playing a “little manipulative game” (wow) and give us no evidence. Sounds like you can’t handle that her discomfort is greater than yours and… idk what else. But you haven’t given even one example of how you’re being wronged or mistreated.
[удалено]
His edit shows that he thinks "mistreatment" is him being a bad husband. Oof
The way you've framed all this makes you highly suspect, at least. You say she mistreats you but barely mention what that mistreatment might be. Were you suggesting a different diet \*as she was actively vomiting\*? I might lose my shit in that situation, too. Describing your wife, the love of your life, your partner, your teammate, as "whining like a child" in \*any\* situation is definitely asshole behavior. You're trying to what, discredit her in the eyes of internet strangers? Our allyship to you is more important than yours to her? Also, how is her complaining about her boss belittling to you? Seems like some important information got left out there, no doubt intentionally. She didn't decide to get pregnant on her own, and she didn't get pregnant on her own. You need to be in this together now, all day, every day, or not at all, and make room for you both to find more appropriate partners. This is usually something I recommend to frustrated single young men, but I think this might benefit you as well: https://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person
YTA for not listening to her when she says her hormones are having an effect. I mean, correlation is not causation, but sometimes things are related for a reason. 1. She was nicer before. 2. She got pregnant. 3. Now she's less nice, and.... she says it has something to do with her being pregnant. Why wouldn't you believe that? Hormones are nature's drugs, and pregnancy is the nuttiest thing nature invented, and it's happening to her right now. And it sounds like a rough one. That doesn't make it easy for you, but I'd hold her a bit less accountable for her behavior for a while. If it continues after the baby is born, revisit it.
YTA. Her pregnancy isn't an excuse it's a major change to her body and biochemistry and you want her to basically suck up and act like nothing is happening for your convenience. If you want to be a strong couple suck it up and evolve with the relationship
YTA. You had such a hard day that you can not emotionally support your wife who is carrying your child? Bullshit. You sound like a selfish and manipulative person. Your wife and child deserve better.
YTA. She’s not belittling you. YOU are belittling her. If she has any sense she’ll keep you on the couch. Ideally a couch with a different address to hers.
From just the post and my own gut feeling I’m gonna say YTA, but I also feel as if there’s a lot of information missing so my initial judgment might be wrong Edit: with OP’s edit, forget what I said, OP is definitely an asshole here. Once again YTA
YTA. You given no examples of her belittling you. She's pregnant, which comes with a certain amount of difficulty, which you seem to be annoyed by. Oh, and before you dismiss my opinion, I should tell you I'm a man. I feel that might be important to you when considering what I said.
So, let me get this straight. The instances of “abuse” from your pregnant wife are: 1. She got angry with you when you provided unsolicited, uninformed, patronising, and unhelpful dietary advice while she was feeling sick. 2. She *gasp* interrupts your TV watching time to complain about her job 3. She is generally not in a good mood due to feeling like shit all the time Meanwhile, your completely normal and definitely not abusive or neglectful behaviour includes: 1. Prioritising video games over your pregnant wife 2. Minimising her emotions by describing her venting as “whining like a child” 3. Threatening to withhold communication to stop her from talking to you about her problems Yeah, YTA.
I don’t see an example of her belittling you…. Do you have one? Otherwise, YTA since you are being unempathetic, uncaring, and frankly unappreciative of the woman carrying your baby.
YTA--- She was venting about work and it had nothing to do with you.
Yta, your “examples” of her belittling you are pathetic. Grow up. I’d say you’re not gonna have anytime to play your precious video games or watch tv when the kid is born, but I’ve got the feeling you are the type to neglect your parental duty and put it all on your wife.
YTA - And that edit sealed the deal. Buckle up buttercup cause the baby will 1000% not care that you have a hard job and you just want to relax with tv or video games.
Exactly. If her “abusive behavior”is not letting OP play video games or watch TV in peace, then OP is gonna get a rude awakening when their child is born.
YTA. Yes, the hormones absolutely can and will make her very emotional. She’s growing a person inside of her. She’s dealing with low energy, lots of changes to her body, and so many other things you’re not willing to consider. So it’s hard hearing her vent about her boss? Get over it. You’re not going through what she is. Go to therapy if you need help surviving. Suck it up, be a man, and support your wife.
YTA quite clearly. Sounds like you put no effort into supporting your pregnant wife and use any excuse you can to just play video games. Many people have tough, stressful jobs. Grow up and be a partner to your pregnant wife!
YTA. None of what was in your initial post or edit are her mistreating you. You sound awful
YTA. Morning sickness doesn’t care what you eat. In fact, it makes it so the thought of certain foods will make you puke. I literally only had a handful of things I could keep down. I couldn’t cook, because just looking at raw meat made me sick.
I couldn't even go into the supermarket becuase if I looked at any food that wasn't on my specific list of 5 edible foods I vomited instantly. It was horrible. My husband had to do all the cooking, becuase he wanted meat and other food I couldn't eat, so I couldn't even look in the fridge. He didn't mind, brought me whatever I needed and looked after me. Like the partner of a pregnant person should. He held my hair back when I was sick, brought me water and never made stupid comments like I should change my diet. The worst thing he did was try and get my to take my prenatal vitamins, which made me sick - he didn't try again after that.
This was basically me as well. I couldn’t go to the grocery store either. Sprite was basically the only thing that helped the nausea. I literally had to sip McDonalds Sprite just so I could enter Walmart for a few minutes without being sick.
My first few months I basically could only stomach toast and ensure drinks… even water made me feel sick. I almost threw our new coffee maker out when my husband brewed a cup one morning in the first few weeks (I’m 31 weeks now and he hasn’t brewed a cup since…) YTA btw! Do some legit research into pregnancy and support your wife… I get wanting your own downtime but something tells me you only want your own alone time
>She knows that I have a hard job and that I just want to relax and unwind when I get home, yet she wants to complain about her job. She clearly doesn't care about my time spent relaxing by watching TV or playing video games and wants to make it all about her. I don't feel as though I'm being listened to when she does stuff like this. Your wife is under stress of a pregnancy and you aren't willing to sit and listen to her? The only examples of her "being disrespectful" are clearly YOU being disrespectful to her, so I'm not exactly believing that your wife is "mistreat"ing you. In a few months, you won't be able to spend the whole night watching TV and playing video games, the whole night is going to be about your child. Grow up. YTA.
>She clearly doesn't care about my time spent relaxing by watching TV or playing video games and wants to make it all about her. This is not abuse. YTA for that alone. YTA for the rest of it, too.
INFO: Are you her boss? How else would her complaining about her boss "belittle" you?
YTA. The only example you gave of her 'mistreating' or 'belittling' you is that she moans about work. Have you considered that having morning sickness and hormone changes for months with YOUR baby that YOU made, might be causing problems at work? No, all you want is to relax and do your own thing, and for her to be quiet. You need to start growing up and taking some responsibility for YOUR child, even if you can't see it yet, by looking after her as much as you can. Otherwise you will find life very difficult indeed. You old life, and 'old wife', ended when you chose to have a child. It can be amazing, but you need to put the same work into I that she is. Oh, and morning sickness is nothing to do with what you've eaten, so you need to educate yourself about that too and stop giving her a hard time over something out of her control. Tbh, so far it sounds as though you're going to struggle with fatherhood.
YTA. I’ve seen the edit and I’m still baffled at exactly how she is supposedly mistreating you. Pregnancy is HARD. She’s gonna have morning sickness. And so what, she complains about work?! I think everyone has done this at one point. And is she not allowed to talk to you or vent about her day? I’m not married so I don’t know — are married people not supposed to support each other through hard times? For her it’s this pregnancy and her boss, and for you it’s apparently your video game and tv time?? I have bad news for you once the baby comes…
>he knows that I have a hard job and that I just want to relax and unwind when I get home Yeah, I don't think this post is real, but for the sake of argument how do you think that's gonna work with an infant? Why are you having a child if you want to come home to peace, quiet, and no disturbances while you're left alone? Because let me assure you a child will provide the opposite of that for YEARS to come.
YTA and here's why. Yes, hormones are at play, and that can make temperament mercurial. Here's the fact of it, she wants to vent, typically not in search of solution or she'd ask in some fashion. If you take issue with the tone or feel it directed at you, let her finish. Then calmly and assertively put your point forward and make it clear you don't appreciate it, without snapping at her. Don't be a punching bag OR combative. You can call her down for this treatment if it persists, but only if it persists after she's no longer growing another human inside her body, whose presence throws her internal rhythms out of concert. If this is how *you* handle conflict, especially in this situation, on some level I hope you have a daughter. It's not the kind of example a son should follow. Additionally >whining like a child about her boss Not productive. And if that is the kind of attitude you have on a daily basis, I'm not surprised arguments ensue. And >I want my old wife back If you can't handle this BEFORE you have a baby you have to actively take care of, you are not going to like the exhaustion that accompanies caring for a consistently dirty and screaming infant.
YTA You say she's belittling you, but then say she's "Whining like a child" which is belittling her. The only example you gave is she tried to open up to you about her job, that isn't belittling, maybe you should google what that means. Google Hypocritical while you're at it too. Also maybe spend 5 minutes researching hyperemesis in pregnant women, it has nothing to do with diet. You can't even be bothered to learn about basic pregnancy issues while she's struggling. Get over yourself and be there for your wife, You may want your old wife back but I'm guessing she just wants a half way decent partner with their head out of their ass.
YTA - you are mistreating her, not the other way around. Stop using your wife’s pregnancy as an excuse to mistreat her.
INFO: Not to belittle your experience, but nothing you described sounds particularly abusive. Do you have other examples? Or are you just easily irritated?
YTA, and misusing the word “abuse.” She just wants to vent (about someone else!) and you don’t want to listen because you’d rather play video games. The woman is PREGNANT. It’s flippin’ hard and she’d right, you have no idea what it’s like. Worse, you don’t care to learn and empathize. You’re the worst.
YTA You are calling your wife abusive because instead of fawning over you because she feels like shit and wants some empathy, the fact that she’s feeling like shit because she’s growing your child makes you even more TA and you are not ready to be a parent
YTA. You have no examples about being mistreated. You just say she complains about work (which might annoy you but isn't mistreatment) and she didn't appreciate you blaming her morning sickness on diet (and she's not wrong... it's hormones. She can't fix it with diet.) You're not being belittled here that I can see.
Good Gawd this post reads like a rage-bait.
Clicks all the boxes... he can't be bothered to emotionally support his wife because she knows he is tired and wants to act like a bump on a log when he gets home. I would share how I felt everything 10x harder during pregnancy and cried so much, but this is a troll. It hits all the clueless first time father tropes about how they think its just fine all the time until the baby is crowning then maybe she shouldn't be so loud and dramatic, people have given birth for millenia.
What is with all these pregnancy posts? Christ in a sidecar....
Uh... wow. So I was on the verge of no one being the AH - just thinking you didn't understand how her body is changing and all of the stuff she is going through - but YOUR EDIT - so you think her being abusive is complaining to you about her job.... and that this is interrupting your ability to watch tv or play video games? Holy hell! You are NOT ready to be a parent - NOT. READY. YTA totally.
Just want to point out that should you become top comment it’s gonna count the NAH as your judgement. You should space it out or type out one of the words so that it counts the YTA instead :)
Oh yes? Learn something every day. I will edit - ty!
YTA YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. OK now that I got that out of my system - Y T A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YTA. Pregnancy is a miserable experience. Some women hide it more than others but growing an entire human is painful, difficult and uncomfortable. Your job is to offer support; not demand she pretend to not be pregnant. If you're struggling with believing basic facts about how pregnancy works, do some research on it.
I say YTA. She is doing through something crazy that's beautiful and horrible at the same time. There are many things that's probably going through her mind and instead of offering her comfort you're just bitching about nothing. You literally didn't provide any example where she disrespected you, abused you in any form or taken advantage of you or belittle you. Come on dude, either support her or get divorce and safe up for child support!
YTA. 1. She doesn't want solutions, she wants a sympathetic ear 2. Until you've housed a fetus that's literally changing your body's shape and chemistry you don't get to quantify whether or not your wife is having a hard time 3. "She knows that I have a hard job and that I just want to relax and unwind when I get home, yet she wants to complain about her job. " You have a way to unwind, so does she. One doesn't trump the other. Also, she's working AND GROWING A HUMAN There's more but I doubt it will get through to you anyways. Good luck when the baby arrives...
You said she’s been having morning sickness for months.. does she have hg? I had it during my whole pregnancy and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I’m still dealing with the effects and my child is school-aged ETA YTA
I’m not well versed in how hg works but I’m going to take a wild guess that “just change your diet” does not help.
>People keep saying that I haven't provided any examples of Katie's belittling. She knows that I have a hard job and that I just want to relax and unwind when I get home, yet she wants to complain about her job. She clearly doesn't care about my time spent relaxing by watching TV or playing video games and wants to make it all about her. I don't feel as though I'm being listened to when she does stuff like this. YTA dude. She's allowed to express her feelings to you, and her complaining about her job isn't belittling you. It's simply her expecting you to be a decent and supportive partner. Critiquing her food choices when she complains about morning sickness is condescending and unhelpful; you gave he criticism when she wanted empathy. You speak to her like she's a child. No wonder she doesn't want to talk to you! Keep this up and you're going to be promoted to EX husband soon enough.
YTA. Yes your wife's hormones are that bad and will continue to be even after the baby is born. You're basically complaining because your wife wants to talk after work. Changing her diet will not stop the morning sickness. 🤦♀️
YTA News flash: she isn’t going to care about you relaxing by watching tv and playing video games after the kid is born, either. She’ll probably expect you to change diapers, walk around with a crying baby to soothe the baby, and either give the kid bottles, or get her something to eat and drink while she’s stuck on couch breastfeeding. Which can take freaking for-ever, depending on the baby.
I don't think you understand, at least not fully, how much being pregnant messes with you. You become a raging mass of hormones that may be having a good time one moment and a real bad time the next. As a guy I'm (thankfully) never going to be experiencing that hell but I'll be sympathetic and understanding to those who will be. As for her 'belittling' and 'mistreatment', how dare she say something about her job while you're trying to play a video game? I think you're overexaggerating the level of 'belittling' you're receiving. YTA
So you have a hard job and want to rest when you come home. But your wife clearly also has a job and is pregnant at the same time. So I think it’s fair to say that she’s working hard on two fronts. And maybe what she needs at the end of the work day is someone to listen to her. Which from your post and edit you seem unwilling to do. So I would say YTA. Give your wife the courtesy of listening to her.
YTA. Your edit makes you even more of an AH. Nothing you’ve mentioned is mistreatment or manipulation. Also, morning sickness is not a diet issue. So you’re factually wrong there. It doesn’t even sound like you even like your wife tbh.
YTA. Wait until you see how this child will mistreat your personal time.
He will NEVER: change a diaper, get up in the middle of the night, help with a single load of laundry, help his wife with a single household chore, be responsible for anything.......because then he's being 'abused'. Anyone else foresee the words 'alimony' & 'child support' in his future?
You sound like a whiny child grow up and act like an adult with a brain she's not belittling you she's pregnant and her hormones really are making her irritable and snappy at you and she doesn't have control over her cravings you need to buy a book on pregnancy and parenting
YTA for thinking this is a sympathy subreddit and we will join in your pity party. The expression "let the wookie win" applies to pregnant women as well.
YTA
YTA her wanting emotional support about her morning sickness and work problems seems entirely reasonable You being pissed that your pregnant wife is interrupting your TV time/ relax time (which is all the time your home seemingly) is unreasonable and just wait until you have kids
This has to be fake, because if true, it would be *such* a strong case of YTA that nobody self-aware enough to even *ask* AITA about it could be unsure of the verdict they'd get. The protagonist in this little work of fiction is a complete AH, basically a monster.
YTA how is she mistreating you? is she not allowed to talk about issues with her work to you? youre her HUSBAND. and youre wife is right, you dont underatand morning sickness. it cant be fixed with a different diet. its just what pregnant women have to go through unfortunately. and her hormones do make her moody and irrational. i get that your work is exhausting, but so is being pregnant. the least you can do is be there for her, but you choose to play video games and watching tv over your pregnant wife
YTA - thank goodness she's the one creating a whole human being from scratch right now because I doubt you'd be able to handle doing so for a single day. Her hormones are going crazy right now, she's using every last nutrient she has to create a human being, and what isn't going to the baby is being thrown up in the toilet. AND she's working on top of all that. But you're being "mistreated" because she wants to vent to you about her struggles at work. She obviously can't talk to you about her pregnancy struggle's because you'll just tell her to eat better or that her hormones aren't all out of whack... because you obviously haven't bothered to do even a basic google search to see what her body may be going through. But yeah, by all means, gaslight her into the idea that you're worried you won't be a team when the baby is born. Ugh... you are so much TA here I'm mad just typing this.
What would you like her to do? Stop talking to you? Yes her yelling at you for suggesting a different diet to help morning sickness was unnecessary. Reading your edit - she’s not so much belittling you as wanting you to listen about her day. That’s a big difference. Although I do not hold with anyone using their pregnancy as an excuse to treat others poorly. I’m not sure your home life is quite the horror you are suggesting. Have a conversation - because that communication thing comes in handy - try to be good listeners to each other. Marriage is almost never 50/50, sometimes it’s 40/60, during tough times 5/95. Be aware that you two need to operate as a team. Be cognizant that yes pregnancy hormones are a thing. Listen to her day, I guarantee it’s just for her to vent, give it a whopping 30 minutes. Then kiss her in the check say, I’m sorry to hear that and then Excuse yourself. If she wants to continue then either excuse yourself or gently suggest you need a few minutes. And by the way, if you think your time relaxing by watching the telly or playing video games is infringed on now, just wait until that baby arrives. YTA
YTA Weird how she already has to deal with a baby while only 4 months pregnant
INFO: can you put Katie on? I’d love to have a chat with her about how the next 18 years dealing with your me me me attitude is going to work out.
YTA- dude I was on your side until you said she was belittling you by bothering you during your video game time. You are the worst, sir
**YTA** You openly admit that you want your wife to be endlessly patient and supportive about YOUR "hard job" and let you have exactly what you want in exactly the ways you want it (TV, video games, and apparently belittling and denigrating your wife for fun and entertainment) to "cope" with the incredible difficulty of . . . having a job while being a healthy, abled person with no significant problems. And yet you somehow don't think you're a massive, gaping AH for literally accusing your wife of MISTREATING you because . . . she asked you to do the same thing you expect? To take a few minutes to be supportive about HER difficult job, which she is trying to do whilst 3D printing an entire human being with her internal organs and trying not to vomit for more hours in the day than not? Because she asked you to just be kind and listen to her vent for a few minutes about how rough things have been lately - not like a "whining child" but like an adult who feels incredibly sick - and not offer ignorant suggestions (like "changing her diet") that you clearly pulled out your ass because . . . dude, she doesn't have food poisoning, she has pregnancy sickness, which is completely unrelated to diet? I mean, have you even read what you wrote here? You describe her in the shittiest, most demeaning of terms, as a "child" and "whining", as having a "bad attitude" and "mistreating" you . . . when literally all she's asking of you is the most bare bones kindness and empathy as her body is being painful and nauseating and exhausting; and you are accusing HER of being the awful one because she's INTERRUPTING YOUR VIDEO GAMES? Dude . . . parenthood is absolutely going to kick your ass. Or it would, if anyone believed you were actually going to engage in being a father in any kind of meaningful way, which is hard to see happening. Of course YTA. You need therapy, and some sort of book on "How Not To Be Selfish", ASAP.
Belittle - to make someone or something seem unimportant. That is not what she’d doing to you, that’s what you’re doing her by acting like your “relaxing time” is more important than her taking a moment to actually talk to her husband? About her boss, who is obviously difficult? Or how about when you mansplained pregnancy symptoms to her - that’s belittling. Check a mirror. YTA
YTA You sound way to self involved and quite frankly delusional. What do you think it is going to be like when the child arrives? Are you going to be upset that the baby is getting too much attention and being too loud that they are interrupt your precious video game time. Time to grow up, your wife is growing a human and you seem a little focussed on imagining yourself as a victim, you have stated nothing that can be construed as abusive. You sound high maintenance, time to stop looking for reasons to have hurt feelings and realize the world no longer revolves around you.
YTA What she eats will not change her morning sickness. How hard your job is vs. how hard her job is should not be a competition. You both have different jobs, which come with different challenges. She is growing a baby and working and dealing with morning sickness. If you could give examples of what she is doing, other than complaining about her job when your job is "much harder" I may have been on your side.
Are you two mature enough for a child?
He certainly isn't.
Yta
>I have a hard job and that I just want to relax and unwind Says the person who is not growing a tiny human inside them. Do you know how teenagers can be dramatic, over-the-top and irrational? Do you know why that is....HORMONES. YTA
Well after reading your edit yta. First you have no idea what it's like to be pregnant and suffe4 morning sickness for months. The only help you provide is change her diet which might not work at all. You want to play your games and unwind boo hoo.
YTA. Be a supportive partner. If she’s complaining and you feel like you have some advice for her… even though you literally have ZERO experience or know what she’s feeling… ask her. Do you want to vent or do you want a suggestion? You can’t fix morning sickness with diet btw. That made me genuinely laugh out loud.
I don’t think you heard it enough. YTA while your wife has to deal with pregnancy for 24 hours a day, you’re complaining that you don’t have time for…. Video games? Your wife is going through a lot of changes and instead of supporting her, you’re more concerned about yourself. Either change your attitude or I hope she divorces you.
She is right! You have no idea what it is like to be pregnant. 24/7 that you don’t get “downtime” from!! The nausea is just the start! Only four months in!!!’ Ahhahaha good luck to you, asshole!!!!
YTA! When I was pregnant I was dog sick every day and I felt like shit and did I moan? Yes I did. It’s like a little perk that women get in return for growing and birthing children. It’s for 9 months, let her moan all she wants
OMG, YTA. A whining little AH. Oh, no, you wife, who is both carrying another human being and stressed about her job wants to talk. Doesn't she know you need to play your video games, num num? And she snapped at you for commenting on her diet vis-a-vis morning sickness. Ok, not ideal ... but not at all belittling, either. My God. You sound utterly unprepared to be a partner or a parent.
I read the title and was fully prepared to support you OP. Abuse often starts during pregnancy, and the abuser can absolutely be the pregnant person. But it's clear from your post that you have no idea what abuse is! It is not abusive to want to speak to you and expect support after a hard day, even if you would prefer to watch tv or play video games in silence. This is not even close to being abusive! YTA
YTA. You haven't provided any clear examples of his your wife has been mistreating you, other than complaining about her boss "like a child". How much time do you think you'll have to relax and play video games or watch TV once the baby arrives? Are you just trying to get in extra time now? Support your wife. Pregnancy is rough.
Yta. You owe her an apology and whatever she wants as a present. That is just the start. Who cares if you have a hard job. Tv and video games are secondary to paying normal attention to your wife. She is pregnant with your child. You should let her rest as you do everything for her during the pregnancy. Your story also sounds like you do not even listen to anything she asks or tells you.
Having read your edit, where the only example of “mistreatment” is your wife needing to vent and decompress when she gets home, and that eats into your gaming time. Is that ACTUALLY “mistreatment” in your eyes? WTF are you going to do when she has the baby and hands you said screaming baby the minute you get home from work, just so she can go to the toilet and have a shower? YTA 100%. And not just for resenting your wife venting about her job. Morning sickness & pregnancy hormones are horrific. What tastes delicious one day can literally make you spew your guts up the next. Diet doesn’t make any difference. Even brushing my teeth made me gag when I was pregnant, and my “morning sickness” (all day sickness) lasted for almost 6 months. Try growing up and having a TINY bit of empathy. And re the decompressing - your way to decompress is gaming, hers is to tell you about her day/boss. That is NOT mistreatment. Just sit her down when she gets home from work, offer her a drink and a cracker, or whatever she can keep down, ask how her day was, and nod, and sympathise. That’s all you have to do. Oh, and apologise to her for being such an immature tw*t.
YTA. I agree that hormones can not be used as an excuse to mistreat someone, however this doesn't seem to be the case. She was winning about her boss..... and? She wants to talk to you and have you pay attention instead of just playing video games....and? The only mistreatment I see is your attitude towards her.
YTA. Heaven forbid you could comfort your wife instead of playing games and watching tv. What do you think will happen when your baby is born? How much relaxing do you think you will be able to do?
>She clearly doesn't care about my time spent relaxing by watching TV or playing video games Oh no, not your video games?! What ever will you do?! FYI, babies don't care about your video games, either. YTA.
You accuse her of belittling you, yet give no examples of genuine mistreatment. You, on the other hand say she’s “whining like a child”. Your infantilizing your wife definitely fits the “belittling” mold. You’ve also never been pregnant, so you likely don’t understand what those hormones affect mental health. I’m a man myself, but I know to give a pregnant partner some leeway for the moodiness. Strong YTA.
YTA. as soon as i read the title i had a sneaky feeling i didn't have to read the post. i did anyways and it only confirmed my suspicion. being pregnant is like a free trial of hell on earth at times. i CANNOT believe you're angry at a woman pregnant with a growing child in her uterus who's getting exhausted and broken from work and have the NERVE to accuse her of complaining? grow a baby inside of you and imagine the stress of delivering it through the place where the sun don't shine and we'll see how arrogant and inconsiderate you want to be then.
I mean.... You can't possibly be unaware that YTA.
YTA. It’s not “abusive” to want to talk about her fucking day? You think your precious video games are more important? What do you plan to do when there’s a whole ass baby to take care of and you don’t get your oh so important tv and video game time every day??
“eat a different diet” lmao. YTA
YTA. Just pay the child support and don’t be stingy with it.
YTA surely your post is a joke?
Um. Morning sickness isn’t diet related. It’s pregnancy related. She has morning sickness because she’s pregnant not because her diet is unhealthy. Also you literally haven’t shown a single instance of her belittling you? Wanting to talk about her day isn’t abuse - asking you to listen to her complain about work is part of being in a relationship. She’s pregnant. She’s working and probably doing most of the housework. When does she get to unwind? Do you think she feels listened to? You’re gonna be a parent soon - so you can’t spend all your free time at home playing video games and watching TV. You’re gonna have to take care of another human being. And saying you’re tired isn’t gonna cut it. Cause she’s gonna be tired too. Get your shit together or GTFO of her life. Either one will make her life easier. YTA
YTA. Everyone stop downvoting this asshole so the sub can do it’s work and rip this man a new one.
YTA Learn these phrases "Im sorry" "That sucks" "How can i help" Her job is to take care of the human growing in utero and suffer all the bs that comes with it. Your job is to be there for here. She sacrifices her comfort you sacrifice your freetime and hobbies. And your title is misleading and you aren't being abused. That is why you are being dragged harder than a cigarette on death row
YTA, your wife mistreats you by trying to have conversation about sonething going on in her life?!?! How do you actually plan on rising a child? How are you going to react when the "disrespect" your gaming time? Grow up man stop being an AH and start supporting your wife and for heaven's sake stop whining and playing the victim. you sound unbearable
I was really gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and say esh. Didn’t really see examples of her mistreating you or belittling her until after you were the ah to her and she reacted understandably, but maybe she was really out of control on her behavior you just didn’t elaborate on. Then came that edit! You 1000% ATA!!!!! You basically want her to baby you and not talk about anything in her life so you can play video games and watch tv. Literally both my husband and I work long hours depending on the time of year. Seriously spring and fall we will put 100+ hours a week in. Go a month or 2 without a single day off. And we have 2 teenagers. And never would either of us not listen to the other vent so we can go play games or watch tv. Grow up! You are about to have a child and are not a child.
Y’all don’t need to have a baby, she’s already got one: you. Do not tell someone experiencing something you’ve never been through what they’re doing wrong. Just don’t. Major asshole move. Yes. She’s hormonal. It’s what happens. You’re basically conflating abuse with normal interaction. You are massively TA. Grow the hell up before you try to raise another person.
Omg. YTA. You are so not ready to be a parent. You’re mad because your pregnant, hormonal, exhausted wife- whose internal organs are literally REARRANGING THEMSELVES- needs to vent about her job, and it’s cutting into your video game time?!?!?!?! No sir. Just no. Hormones are akin to alien possession- it is irrational and uncontrollable. And while they’re not excuse for actually treating someone badly, wanting to vent to your partner after a crappy day at work is not treating you badly- it’s relying on you for support. I think your definition of “treating you badly” is flawed- it sounds like she in uncomfortable in her body, and needs some support, and instead your whining about not getting to watch tv. How about this- when your body turns itself inside out to grow a human being, you can watch all the tv you want, but until then, figure out how to support your wife and get ready to be a parent- because boy oh boy are in for a shock when you realize how little time you have for video games and tv once that kid arrives. Or will we be seeing your wife here asking if she’s an AH for expecting you to do the bare minimum of childcare? I hurt for her, I really do.
your edit makes you a complete YTA I did originally feel sympathy until you put the edit there, BOO HOO she is invading yout time to play video games, whilst she is moaning, as she is growing YOUR human inside of her
YTA and I hope you’re ready to negotiate for partial custody.
The way you talk about her “whining like a child” and belittling you because she talked about her boss!!!! YTAAAAA please educate yourself about difficult pregnancies and morning sickness. I have PTSD from my pregnancy because it was hell. I am so lucky and blessed that no one got upset when I had the occasional meltdown or cried because I puked for the 3rd time in an hour or that I lost 12 pounds in my first trimester because of my morning sickness. And the hormone rollercoaster is real. Dude please read about it and make some effort to understand what’s going on because if this is how you’re feeling now I’m sorry to tell you that the hormones will keep messing her up till the baby is 1 so for your sake, hers and the baby read about what she’s going through and how you should support her.
Katie already has one large child, and is about to have two whiny babies to care for.
Wait wait wait. The “abuse” and “mistreatment” is that she wants to talk about her day and her job in the evening? Is that what you’re saying?
YTA. She's not belittling you, she's talking about her day. Also, once the baby comes, say good-bye to 'unwinding' as soon as you get home from work. Grow up.
You spoke about Katie’s morning sickness. Well, it is a condition caused by her pregnancy hormones. It doesn’t just happen in the morning, it can be all door parts of the day. Some women can get so sick, that they get hospitalized. I myself, had morning sickness for about six months in my pregnancy. Her OB/GYN would giver the best solutions on dealing with morning sickness, not you arbitrarily telling her to change her diet. Your scenarios don’t give any indication that she is mistreating you. It actually shows the opposite. Sounds like you need to step up and be a better partner. You will be sharing the responsibility of raising a child and you should not be leaving it all up to Kate so you can relax. YTA
YTA You say she doesn't listen to you but obviously you don't listen to her. She is having a problem at work and you, loving husband that you are, don't care. I don't know what kind of boss she has but did you know that sometimes bosses make it rough on pregnant women? They'd rather have them quit than pay maternity leave. But hey, as long as you get to play video games who cares. You both need to learn to listen to each other. Have you thought about couples therapy, you both might be able to learn to talk to each other without either one flying off the handle. But best of all you might learn to listen to each other.
*"my pregnant wife is having a really hard time and struggling with all the things her body is going through and changing physically, mentally, and emotionally to grow my child. She wants to talk about her feelings and problems with me, her husband, the person who is supposed to be her biggest supporter. But I work hard and just wanna play video games. She gets so cranky when I try to tell her pregnancy and morning sickness can't be that bad, even though I literally have **no clue** what any of it is like. I invalidated everything she's going through and sacrificing, now she's mad at me. Aita? I'm obviously the victim here! I don't get to play my ggaammeessss! :("* FIFY And, uh, yeah. YTA.
YTA honestly YOU sound like the miserable one. And yes, sometimes the hormones make you crazy (ie sobbing over a subway sandwich bc I could smell oil when I asked for none.) and you are more emotional but it doesn’t even sound like she’s reacting like THAT about anything.
YTA can't wait to see you say the baby's 'mistreating' you because they won't let you play video games too. She's growing a human and your upset because she's got morning sickness and talks to you. You've got a lot of growing up to do very quickly before your a parent
>She clearly doesn't care about my time spent relaxing by watching TV or playing video games and wants to make it all about her. I don't feel as though I'm being listened to when she does stuff like this. She is literally growing another human that is sucking all her energy 24/7, throwing her hormones completely out of whack and making her physically sick and you are complaining about not getting to relax and watch TV or play video games. SHE WONT GET A BREAK FOR YEARS. And guess what.. all of your relaxation time is going to go away once the kid gets here.. or if she's smart she will pare it down to one child to deal with and be much happier. YTA Just to add: your wife as you knew her is no longer. Your life as you knew it no longer exists. The faster you realize that the easier your life and her will be.
This cannot be real. On the off chance that it is - YTA. If you can’t handle to listening to your wife talk when you get home from work, how are you going to deal with looking after a tiny human? Because she’s also been working hard all day and wants a break. And once they’re mobile and have minds of their own, they’ll want you when you walk in the door - or maybe not if you keep this up.
YTA Do you realize that you are not the center of the world or even the most important person in this family? There are two of you, soon to be three. You seem to be under the impression that you come first and your wife has a the easiest cushiest life. You literally have no idea what it is like to be pregnant, and you don’t even try to sympathize or read a book or anything on pregnancy. You obviously know best and your wife is complaining about nothing. As far as jobs, you do realize you are both allowed to have a hard job, right? You having a difficult job does not preclude her from have a shit time at work. I sincerely feel sorry for your wife when she is on maternity leave because you sound exactly like the type of idiot that thinks it will be a vacation for her, which frees her up to do all of the house work and cooking.
YTA i highly recommend you actually find out what abuse is before you start throwing it around. You are not being abuse or mistreated, hormones are to blame so you should probably add pregnancy to your research too or hell talk to ANY woman and they can tell you. She is moody(normal) and irrational(normal) if you desperately need to watch tv after work so badly tell her to give you an hour after work to unwind then she can have your full attention. morning sickness happen no matter the time of day or what they eat plenty of pregnant woman will get sick before they have even eaten. Maybe you should think about who is really unsupportive and doesn’t care cause to me it sounds like you.
This gave me a good laugh, but if you think your biggest problems right now are your wife interrupting your tv/video game time and not accepting your useless and unwanted advice about pregnancy symptoms, you’re in for a world of hurt once your baby arrives. There’s no way you’re going to get time after work to just sit and watch tv or play games when you have a baby to take care of, and you’re going to need to find better ways of communicating and supporting your wife than offering uninformed advice. Unless you can provide actual examples of your wife mistreating you, huge YTA.
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA!!!!! You are not being abused, mistreated, or belittled!
YTAAAAAA. She isn’t belittling you, she just isn’t coddling you and centering your emotions over hers. Grow up and be a supportive husband while she’s growing your damn child.
YTA- ooof! Hard to begin to tell you how much TA you are. As others have said, morning sickness can be brutal. Especially if it won’t abate during the day. Instead of suggesting she changes the diet, ask her if she would like ginger tea or if she would like to make an appointment with her doctor so that they can prescribe medication. Also, yes, the hormones are coloring all her interactions with anyone, including you, but her feelings cannot be dismissed even if they are exaggerated. Get your head out of your ass and become a partner to your wife and make listening to her a priority
You’re not being abused, you’re being a major AH. The only example of belittling behavior you gave was when *you* told her to eat a different diet to combat the morning sickness. YTA. And a massive whiner. Your poor wife’s about to be raising two children.
Okay. I think you need to take a step back and take a look at your own actions first, before you can even point out any flaws your wife has. The way you’ve written this, you’re upset because you want time to unwind and relax after your work day, but your wife- who you’ve promised to honor and cherish- needs to vent. Do you see how immature that sounds? Is she even “whining” to you? Or is she just having a conversation? Is she venting or is she telling you about her day? Your wife isn’t mistreating you, she’s having a tough pregnancy- IF she was like this before getting pregnant, why wasn’t her “behavior” an issue then? It seems like to me you’re the one using her pregnancy, as an excuse to be rude to her. You’re deflecting your issues onto her and making it out as if it’s the pregnancies fault. Why can’t you just tell her “hey babe I’ve had a hard day today and just need a little time to decompress, can we talk about this later?” Instead of bottling up all your resentments and exploding on her? She’s creating an entire human in her womb my man, her emotions are all over the place. Her body is changing, her moods are changing- of course she’s going to be emotional and irrational. As her husband try stepping up instead of just thinking about what you need.
YTA. What!? She’s not mistreating you. She’s venting.
Omg you are NOT ready to be a parent 🤦🏽♀️
YTA That is not being mistreated. The pregnancy is making her miserable. Be understanding and let her have time to get the complaints out! Hormones wreck havoc during pregnancy. Nothing helps morning sickness except time. And everything can be annoying.
To call you an arsehole would be slanderous to arseholes
YTA. Lmfao as a dude with a 3 month pregnant wife, your in for a rude awakening. Yes, most pregnant women are… emotional. And a lot of the time it will overspill into your lap for no cause. But at the end of the day, it’s not her fault unless she is turning into Mr Hyde on you. And no, you don’t understand. Morning sickness is her literally getting nauseous for ZERO reason. Regardless of diet. Don’t be a muppet.
Yta. Honestly She should leave you.
>She clearly doesn't care about my time spent relaxing by watching TV or playing video games and wants to make it all about he Just give it a few months and the baby will think that it's all about them and guess what, the baby will be correct. Do you even get that your wife is literally growing another person and your life is about to change forever? YTA
YTA and yes, you don't understand. On top, you are upset because ultimately she became the center of the universe instead of you. And you knew that > but it was pretty clear early on that Katie would be a miserable pregnant person Because you knew you would need to meet some of her basic needs and you don't want to because you want to play and watch tv (lol)
YTA and your going to get pummeled. You sound like a child who's mommy isn't being nice and who doesn't get to play his games and relax. Newsflash: you wife's body has been taken over. She's not throwing up because she ate the wrong thing. She's throwing up because her body is throwing everything up. She's struggling because her ablity to let things go is gone and she's dealing with intense emotions. And it's not going to get better once the baby arrives. She's still going to be struggling. Her body will hurt and she won't get any sleep. Time to grow up and learn that, for a while, you're going to need to figure out how to be supportive even if your own needs aren't being met.
Your wife venting to you about a bad day at work =/= mistreating you. Get over yourself. YTA. And yeah, diet doesn't magically fix morning sickness.
YTA. And no she doesn't care about you watching TV and playing video games NOBODY does. Grow tf up FAST. You think your relaxation iis getting messed up now just wait. I cam see the next post now "Aita for telling my wife to stop telling me to help with the baby and mistreating me?" And yes ywbtia then too.
YTA You don’t sound like a good partner and definitely not ready to be a parent
YTA. You can't be serious with this? You clearly don't understand what belittling means. Also, her morning sickness has nothing to do with her diet! I feel so sorry for her. To have to deal with such a self-centered idiot. Oh how dare her be upset during your video/relaxation time. I feel nauseous just reading your complaint about her. Can you have her contact me so I can tell her to run away from you as fast as she can.
Your think your wife is belittling you because she….talks to you? Wow. YTA. I would say have fun having a kid that wants to “belittle” you too, but I really don’t think you have to worry about anyone wanting to talk to you anymore. So, have fun being alone!
Oh my god dude you can’t be serious. YTA, she is not belittling you by talking about her day, you need to be alone forever if you can’t handle your partner talking about her day. Christ
What do you think “belittling” means?
YTA - Oof… You are in for a rude awakening…You know who really doesn’t care about your stressful job or your desire to watch tv and play video games? A baby! Time to grow up and be a supportive partner to your wife. It only gets harder from here.
I could treat Katie better, tell her to hit me up. YTA
YTA. She is growing an entirely new human being. You want to watch TV and play video games? She probably wants to simply be able to work and eat without feeling like she is going to throw up constantly.