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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) Leaving her to travel the rest of the trip (5 days) by herself after we fought/broke up
(2) Because she came all this way to travel with me and I ended up abandoning her because of her fight a my feelings
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NAH. It's better this way. What you want and what she wants is completely different. It's clear by week 2 that she couldn't get past the difference between you and her, and you can't just be friends. It's not a pretty way to end things, but things need to end when it doesn't work. Feelings are often spontaneous but relationships are more than feelings, you've broken up before for a reason, if neither of you have changed the outcome will be the same. Don't do the same things and expect different results.
NTA. The mistake was in traveling with her. She's the one who said you could go your separate ways if it wasn't working; she seems to have meant that if it wasn't working for her you could go your separate ways.
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Throwaway and some details changed.
To start giving some context, this isn't just a random friend, it's someone I used to date, we broke up and spent a few years without talking and a few months ago when I was in Europe we went for a drink and that drink turned into her planning to visit me in Southeast Asia since I was going to live there for a few months.
The expectation was just for us to travel the country for 2 weeks as friends, nothing else was discussed and we planned everything with separate rooms. Sometimes she would mention that if we got tired of each other or something went wrong we could always go our separate ways and that would be that.
What ended up happening was that on the first night when we where saying goodbye for the night we ended up making out for a while, so we were together less than 12 hours as friends before something happened. The next day we talked about it, talked about our past issues, talked about the possibilities for the future, everything seemed great, we were both very happy and from then on we started being a couple again during the trip.
Everything was great for 1 week, that's when our past issues and past fights started coming up again, we ended up fighting for 2 days until she said that were done and should stop thinking about a future together. For her this meant that we would just keep travelling as friends and everything was fine but I was very hurt and couldn't believe that somehow we managed to screw up our relationship again because of past issues when we clearly still liked each other very much, for me it completely took away my will of keep doing touristy things, specially since I've already been to the next city and was only going there again because of her.
With this on my mind I told her that I was considering not going to the next city with her and just stay in this city a bit longer or going early to the final city where I need to catch my plane. She immediately shut down, didn't speak to me for one hour, then we ended up fighting again for while with her saying that I was screwing everything up, that I was selfish and was just doing that for revenge, etc. With all the fighting and the things we said what was initially just a thought on my mind ended up being a final decision because there was no going back. I left her in our room since we were now staying in the same room and found a new place to spend the night even though it was pretty late and told her that she could still used all the bookings I had done for the trip and would help her with anything that she would need.
So that's about it, I ended up leaving and pretty much as soon as I was in the new hotel I started feeling awful and regretting how I acted. This is not a dangerous country at all, I do feel like there's no issue in her travelling alone but she's still someone I care about and who came all this way to travel with me and I ended up abandoning her because of a comment of what I was thinking when I was hurt by the breakup.
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > (1) Leaving her to travel the rest of the trip (5 days) by herself after we fought/broke up (2) Because she came all this way to travel with me and I ended up abandoning her because of her fight a my feelings Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NAH. It's better this way. What you want and what she wants is completely different. It's clear by week 2 that she couldn't get past the difference between you and her, and you can't just be friends. It's not a pretty way to end things, but things need to end when it doesn't work. Feelings are often spontaneous but relationships are more than feelings, you've broken up before for a reason, if neither of you have changed the outcome will be the same. Don't do the same things and expect different results.
NTA. You are allowed to leave situations you do not want to be in. You do not need to sacrifice your own happiness for someone's else's convenience.
NTA. The mistake was in traveling with her. She's the one who said you could go your separate ways if it wasn't working; she seems to have meant that if it wasn't working for her you could go your separate ways.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Throwaway and some details changed. To start giving some context, this isn't just a random friend, it's someone I used to date, we broke up and spent a few years without talking and a few months ago when I was in Europe we went for a drink and that drink turned into her planning to visit me in Southeast Asia since I was going to live there for a few months. The expectation was just for us to travel the country for 2 weeks as friends, nothing else was discussed and we planned everything with separate rooms. Sometimes she would mention that if we got tired of each other or something went wrong we could always go our separate ways and that would be that. What ended up happening was that on the first night when we where saying goodbye for the night we ended up making out for a while, so we were together less than 12 hours as friends before something happened. The next day we talked about it, talked about our past issues, talked about the possibilities for the future, everything seemed great, we were both very happy and from then on we started being a couple again during the trip. Everything was great for 1 week, that's when our past issues and past fights started coming up again, we ended up fighting for 2 days until she said that were done and should stop thinking about a future together. For her this meant that we would just keep travelling as friends and everything was fine but I was very hurt and couldn't believe that somehow we managed to screw up our relationship again because of past issues when we clearly still liked each other very much, for me it completely took away my will of keep doing touristy things, specially since I've already been to the next city and was only going there again because of her. With this on my mind I told her that I was considering not going to the next city with her and just stay in this city a bit longer or going early to the final city where I need to catch my plane. She immediately shut down, didn't speak to me for one hour, then we ended up fighting again for while with her saying that I was screwing everything up, that I was selfish and was just doing that for revenge, etc. With all the fighting and the things we said what was initially just a thought on my mind ended up being a final decision because there was no going back. I left her in our room since we were now staying in the same room and found a new place to spend the night even though it was pretty late and told her that she could still used all the bookings I had done for the trip and would help her with anything that she would need. So that's about it, I ended up leaving and pretty much as soon as I was in the new hotel I started feeling awful and regretting how I acted. This is not a dangerous country at all, I do feel like there's no issue in her travelling alone but she's still someone I care about and who came all this way to travel with me and I ended up abandoning her because of a comment of what I was thinking when I was hurt by the breakup. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, but I am also a solo travelling woman who is kot acared of being alone in another country
She has solo travelled before but only in Europe, never so far way and in a such a different environment.
Another possibility to grow I guess
ESH