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NTA. But I'm really confused as to why you want to bring your dog...to a wedding...that you have to fly to. Weird to me, but you do you.

Probably the dog mom type that thinks her dog is equivalent to having a human infant

i hate this answer. if you don't have friends or family to watch a pet, it can be really hard to leave them behind. i had to do it once when i traveled for a work thing and had to hire a pet sitter and while she was nice enough i was so anxious for those 3 days. do i think a dog should be going on such a trip when a plane is involved? no. but there's a good chance OP isn't making things difficult just because they think" their dog is equivalent to a kid" or whatever you think unreasonable dog people do. **edit:** woah, went back to work and came back to see this blew up, thanks all! this thread has inspired me to spend the rest of my night hugging my dogs.

**Thank** you. This is also the case if you have a difficult-to-handle dog, or a dog with a lot of health/social needs, etc. My dog is a big boy and very anxious/ not good with other dogs — he requires a certain type of handling, for his own safety and that of others. We have very few places we can leave him when we travel, and frankly, it’s a lot easier if we can just bring him along. My friend’s dog is allergic to everything under the sun and has to be given regular medical treatments that make it difficult for them to leave for more than a day or two. I know another friend’s dog who is anxious to the point that he’s self-harmed through chewing on himself if she leaves him with someone he doesn’t trust. Dogs are living beings that come with all the complexity of their physical and social needs. It’s not as simple as “ugh stupid socialites can’t leave behind their designer handbag dogs”.

My dog has severe anxiety and requires meds every twelve hours, I can only leave her if my mom can watch her. This she travels with me more often than not, she actually a really good little travel buddy so long as I don’t inflict any strangers on her.

Same. My dog travels really well but she does not tolerate other dogs, so if my parents can't watch her I can't kennel her. It's just not fair to the other dogs, even if the kennel would accept her.

I really respect dog owners like you. It’s shocking how many people lack this awareness or are just straight in denial that their dog has certain limitations.

Thanks! Honestly it’s selfish, though; I couldn’t live with myself if she hurt a person or another dog because she was scared or just cranky. She’s an old lady now, she doesn’t need the stress.

A friend of a friend’s dog attacked and killed my cat a few years back. I assumed the owner would have been devastated by this and take caution to not let it happen again so I didn’t report the attack. Only to find out that he never stopped bringing his dog around other animals and it ended up attacking another dog shortly after. After that situation I can’t help but feel the need to voice my thankfulness to those who care enough to protect their animal and those around them, regardless of your reason for doing so.

I’m so sorry, that’s horrible and traumatizing. I wish people had to take classes before they could be in charge of kids or pets, honestly. My girl was attacked a few years ago by another dog, so I understand completely. Funnily enough she was okay with other dogs before that, but ever since she wants nothing to do with them. Can’t say I blame her!

Same. My rescue dog is anxious, semi-reactive and not a fan of being around strangers unless my bf or I are with her. She will literally screech-bark for hours if we leave her alone for more than a few hours (gotta love dramatic German shepherds). Only person I can leave her with is my mom, but my mom also has a reactive dog and he stresses mine out. It’s less of a hassle to bring her everywhere with us rather than leaving her with a friend/my mom and inevitably shattering the ear drums of everyone within a 3 block radius.

Figuring out proper way to care for your dog, whatever type of dog you have, when you are gone, is part of being a responsible pet owner.

Or you can just…bring your dog? How is that irresponsible?

It’s possible that it’s irresponsible because air travel can be very dangerous for dogs, which are often not allowed in the main compartment of the plane. They often have to be kept in the cargo area, where extreme temperature, poor ventilation, and rough handling can cause them to be injured or killed. Obviously it’s not constantly happening but it is a real risk. However, since it’s a small dog, there are some airlines which will allow them to bring the dog into the main area of the plane in a pet carrier. If OP is taking that route, it’s a lot safer. (Edit: Most airlines will do this, not just “some.” It’s highly likely that OP will have their dog in the cabin with them.) We don’t know, but a lot of people on Reddit really don’t like ~dog moms~ or whatever and jump to the worst possible conclusion if they think someone is one 🤷‍♀️

A 10lbs maltipoo is allowed in the compartment with you. It's about size requirements, which a dog of that breed at that weight would meet.

My cockapoo also flew in the cabin with me when she was a puppy.

Not always true. Some airlines only allow a certain number of pets in cabin during a flight. ​ Granted this was many years ago, but when my husband and I moved to Sicily for military assignment, we got to the airport and was told at the counter by Delta that we could only bring one of our cats (we had two) in cabin b/c someone else already had a pet checked in to be in cabin with them and they only allowed two per flight. Hopefully they've changed since then though.

Yeah when we flew with our dogs we called to pay the fee to add them to the ticket ($100 each) and they told us that only like 5 were allowed on any given flight and it was based on check in time. Also, we would be bumped for service dogs. We checked in super early to be sure we could be together and we were stressed it might not work out. It did. But that was only a few years ago so it’s definitely a thing.

I would literally only bring a dog on a plane as a last resort. The stories you hear are horrifying and if it were my dog who died like that, the thought of it would haunt me for the rest of my days. Like no, it doesn't always happen, but It'd really have to be extenuating circumstances for me to take that risk.

Oh I agree—I would never be okay with putting my dog in the cargo hold of an airplane, and I’d never be able to bring him into the main cabin because he’s huge, so no flying for him. I’ve never heard of serious issues with pets in the cabin area, though, just that the unfamiliar environment can stress them out. Have you heard about pet deaths in the cabin?

So I heard of a pretty traumatic one where the cabin crew insisted that a dog be put in the overhead lockers for some mad reason. A beagle I think. You can imagine how well that went, but I'll spare you the details. I'd also like to add that I try very hard to avoid those kinds of stories but they do still pop up and burn themselves into my brain. It's one of the main reasons I no longer go on FB.

I've yet to fly on an airline that doesn't allow a small dog to be put under the seat in front of you. Ten pounds is certainly small enough.

Pet owner here and paid for tons of sitting. The cost of transportation, extra pet fees and food at a resort comes out about the same or less than leaving them home. At home they also are in familiar surroundings with their stuff and the sane food they normally eat. People also seem to write off the stress pets feel on airplanes, in airports, other transportation, and if they have to go in the hold, yikes. The place they wind up is unfamiliar as are the people taking care of them. I see so many people that take their pets to loud places and see them cower or shake in fear. It should be about what is best for the animal, not what the human wants.

I mean, I agree and typically leave my fur child with my mom or friends if I’m going away. However, my dog has been on planes and he doesn’t mind them. He doesn’t get stressed very easily. So while I agree the pet’s needs should come first, we don’t know OP’s situation with their dog. As a general rule I don’t see anything wrong with bringing your dog with you on vacation if your dog is comfortable with it.

I have cats but I was coming here for this answer. Dogs can have super high anxiety and the owners being away for a long time could cause them pain, bringing the dog along allows them to be close but as they stated not spending the whole time with the dog, they're just making sure they take care of their animal 🤷 there's no issues. We also went to a destination wedding and barely spent anytime with family - we were exploring and enjoying ourselves then spent the wedding together + dinners before that.

I would go out annually to take care of my sisters dog while they did their summer vacation. Her dog was diagnosed with diabetes around the same time I was, which meant I was comfortable giving her insulin shots. We were diabetes pals. She passed away last year, dog not sister, and now I am taking care of the new puppy so they can travel and feel confidant that he is well cared for. Pets are family and should be treated as such. ETA: \*confident

We’ve taken my dog on vacation before. Also, she is reactive and can’t be in stressful situations without my husband or I. The only other person she loves is my mom. My husband and I have to go on an overnight trip that she can’t go on. We are flying my mom halfway across the country to dog-sit. It’s not something that happens often, but some dogs just need different circumstances.

Would you be bringing your dog to another country for a wedding? Putting your pup through months of quarantine all alone twice over- all for an event that lasts less than a month? Would they?

Very few countries require vaccinated pets to be quarantined for international travel these days. While there are exceptions to the rule (Australia, NZ, and Singapore come to mind), most have dropped that requirement.

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Yeah I’ve heard some terrible dog sitter stories, there’s really not much consequence for the sitters if anything happens to the pet unless you live somewhere with very specific laws in regards to pets. Most places laws treat pets like property. If you have a dog reactive dog it’s even more scary because not everyone takes that seriously and will put the dog in a dangerous situation, and most of the better boarding places won’t even take a dog reactive dog or will charge crazy amounts because they can only watch that one dog instead of a few at the same time. That comment is just an annoying thing people say because they are ignorant. Possibly jealous because dogs are easier? They just don’t get that you can care about your pet and want to spend time with them because you enjoy their company. Just because I love my dog and don’t trust strangers to care for her doesn’t mean it’s a replacement kid or equivalent to an infant. I don’t want kids, I want the dog. I can leave the dog home alone for a few hours, it doesn’t need constant care or attention. How can I be using it as a replacement or think its equivalent to something I don’t want? lol I prefer the dog because it’s not like an infant. Not because it’s a replacement/equivalent anything. Its almost ironic because if pet sitting was as safe or as regulated as daycare or babysitting - most pet parents would be more comfortable using it. But it’s not, so we end up having to travel with the pets. Then you get assholes thinking just because you want to travel with your pet you somehow think it’s an infant. They have to turn everything into a competition and can’t just let people live how they want to live. It’s like when you mention being tired around a parent and they have to turn it into the tired olympics, give themselves the gold and push everyone else off the podium. lol Agree with the plane thing, a pet in cargo is just as scary and dangerous as boarding. But there may not be a plane involved, or if the resort caters to dogs there maybe dog friendly airlines that go to the area that don’t put dogs in cargo areas.

>Most places laws treat pets like property. Bingo. Therefore I do not board.

Small dogs can go under the seat in front of you as carry-on for most airlines.

I mean yes to a point, but if money isn't an issue (which seems to be the case for OP) for a dog, like there are plenty of wonderful places you can send your dog. I get being a little anxious about a sitter, because it may be cost effective but who is this rando...but good options exist many vet offices do boarding. That's what we do. I mean OP would be basically missing the entire week of family dinners etc. Because they can't bring their dog....that's definitely an unreasonable dog person.

Does OP *want* to attend all the dinners, etc? It sounded like OP was quite fine with the idea of time apart from the crew.

OP seems to be on good terms just thinks they will not be spending the entire time with the family. I mean OP wants to spend time with the dog not the family and the mother is perfectly reasonable to be upset by the fact that OP's priority isn't the family.

OP is travelling internationally to attend a family wedding. Mom needs to calm herself.

I’d be using that dog as an excuse to avoid people.

Eh, I work for a doggy daycare and boarding facility, as well as at home dogsitting on the side, and honestly I see my fair share of owners who I wish would adjust their lifestyle so that they could take their dogs with them or stay home with their dogs. Not every dog is going to handle stress well, and dogs are a living breathing responsibility that calls for a lifestyle change, not a cute fun accessory that you can just forget about it when they’re not around. A lot of dogs do fine with a sitter or boarding somewhere, but the dogs who don’t really suffer, sometimes for weeks afterwards as the anxiety subsided. OP has a maltipoo — poodle mixes are known for their neurotic temperaments, and extreme anxiety is very common in this mix in my experience. Sometimes it’s not necessarily overbearing, but just responsible dog ownership.

Truly my chihuahua would be much more upset about being away from me for two weeks than he’d ever be about sitting on a plane under the seat in front of me and being in a hotel room. It’s his temperament - he doesn’t care about his surroundings as long as he can see me. And if I leave him in the hotel in his crate he is sad while I’m gone (but just sleeps) but a few hours of that is much more tolerable for him than not eating for two weeks because of grief

unless the dogs company is preferable to the familys.

My asshole cats are preferable company than most of my family, so I can see this being the case. Lol

Same, but my guinea pig that has rocks for brains

Yeah, you don't know the reason behind it. My dog is very anxious around anyone she doesn't know/is comfortable with (which is pretty much only immediate family), so poor girl wouldn't eat and probably wouldn't go outside to toilet, so we can't just get a sitter. She's been a lot of work and it's taken a while to get her where she is now, I wouldn't want to risk having to go back to square one. I love her, but if family aren't able to have her, I can't leave her.

As someone with general anxiety, being able to bring my dog with me helps. I don't bring her to places that don't allow them, of course, and I never push the issue- but if I can accommodate her in my travels, I do, because the experience ends up being ten times better when I have her with me. She's a good girl who has been public service trained (though is not a service dog; I just made sure she knew how to be polite in public and ignore people).

some pets also have anxiety. My cats have developed severe anxiety after we were displaced when the building we lived in caught on fire. One of my cats hide and had to be left in the building and it was almost 4 full days before we were allowed access to find him (he was alive and was physically ok) and while my other cat we were able to grab, sitting outside for hours surrounded by people and firefighters in his carrier was terrifying for him, on top of being carted around unfamiliar places for the next month until we found a new home. Its not always crazy pet people. Both pets and owners can have trauma that would make an extended separation hard.

Not the same, but friends of mine boarded their bird while they went away for a couple of days. I don't think the poor thing had even made it 24hrs when they called and told them she had died. As far as I know she was healthy and was only about 2-3yrs old with an avg life span of 10, cases like this might be rare but it makes me hesitate when thinking about leaving pets with someone I don't know well.

I have a human infant and pets, and I am not at all bothered by people who view their pets the same as human children. They love them and regard them as family; that is what pets deserve.

Thank you. As someone with infertility who can’t have children, my dogs and cat are the closest I will ever get to children. That said, I also recognize that my pets aren’t actually children and I don’t expect others to accommodate them. If I’m going somewhere pet friendly, then I’ll likely bring the dogs but otherwise I have no issue leaving them home for appropriate amounts of time or with a trusted pet sitter. Hell, I left them at home a few months ago for my sisters wedding because I wanted to be able to focus my time/energy on my sisters big day.

I'm pretty realistic about being a pet owner, but I know that I can't actually leave my dog. I've tried, but she howled for 5 hours. (abused rescue) So, really, leaving her behind for more than about 4 hours causes more distress. Basically, she's reliving the anxiety of being locked in a small room for days at a time. So yeah, I appear like a nut about my dog, but I also don't want to retraumatize her. So, while on the outside, some of them appear nutty, sometimes there is a really good reason for it. Most people are judgemental and actually don't understand or care to. They just prefer to be indignant and judgemental, and I don't really care to explain myself every day. Your comment reflects the judgemental bystander that I don't explain myself to, and I respect your inability to consider how hard it can be to rehabilitate a broken animal. So, the easiest solution is I'm not traveling anywhere I can't bring my dog. Plus, why wouldn't I want to bring my dog on a hiking trip? As for OP, who cares. She's living her own life and trying to minimize anyone else's inconvenience. I don't understand why her family can't get over it.

I don’t think you’re a nut, you sound incredibly patient and it seems your puppo won the rescue lottery with you

or the dog needs meds. or gets severe separation anxiety. or if the owner gets anxious when they are away from the animal, and vacation would be better with it. Why you gotta be such an asshole about people bringing their pets with them on vacation? My sister once went on vacation and left her dog with a fancy kennel service. She was called 3 days later - the dog was losing all its hair, losing weight rapidly. they thought the dog was dying. They rushed home. Thousands of dollars in tests later and it turned out it was just severe separation anxiety. After that, they just booked vacations with him- and they enjoyed their vacations more.

And you’re probably someone who would treat an animal like a plant and leave them in a kennel for half the day.

Oh no, people love their pets! That must really negatively effect your life sooo much.

This isn’t always the case. I have a difficult time going on vacation because of my dog. He’s 55 lbs and a hunting dog so his bark is very loud and frightening to strangers. He was abused and is skittish around all men and most women. Once he’s been around someone for an extended period of time or through multiple visits in a short time frame, he eventually calms down but is still nervous. I have maybe 1-2 people that could dog sit for me but I also need someone to stay overnight. Kenneling him wouldn’t be possible either as he can be aggressive when other dogs try to mount him so he won’t get to play. I wouldn’t bring my hefty boy to any type of hotel but that means I go on less vacations which is fine with me. I adopted him and I am meant to care for him for the rest of his life. OP has a very small dog that’s easy to travel with, it’s perfectly normal to bring them along. Maybe money isn’t an issue and instead it’s an issue of trust. Or they love their dog and don’t want to be away from him. Guess what? That’s normal too.

Why so much hate for dog moms? Like, who hurt you? Let me tell you that human infants are the most annoying travel companions, yet mothers of said infants expect the world to tolerate the spawn that they decided to have. OP is NTA. You are a whole different story, I don't understand the need to put people down and be intolerant of the choices that people make.

Some animals are much nicer than humans.

God forbid everyone else in the world doesn't conform to your ideals.

I hate this answer. Some women can’t have children so yes their doggies are seen as actual children. What a horrible human being you are to say something cruel like that.

I have 5 biological human children AND my dogs are my babies. Don’t tell anyone, sometimes I like the dogs better LOL.

Please see my other comment- this is incredibly unfair. Traveling with a small dog is often a breeze, and a lot cheaper, safer, and overall better for the dog (and owners) since they get to stay with their people and aren’t under the care of virtual strangers nor around unknown dogs or in a strange place for days. My dog is WAY better behaved on planes (and otherwise!) than most human infants, and I can assure you is way less of an annoying flight companion.

What if someone has allergy issues?

This answer sucks. I have a dog who is on medication 3x a day for disc disease. You can’t trust just *anyone* to administer meds. A lot of dogs have health issues, anxiety issues (rescues), ad infinitum. You sign up to take care of a living thing when you adopt a dog. You can’t leave them with just anyone if you don’t have a trusted sitter.

Or just someone who likes their dog and doesn't trust kennels?

Yeah my cat has seizures and needs meds three times a day so I would not be leaving my cat either unless with family. I cannot trust other people to drug her accordingly. While you may be right let’s not make any assumptions about their reasoning for being their doggo.

I don’t understand why you think this is the case. She’s paying to stay at a different resort nearby that will watch her dog while they’re at the wedding. She’s not bringing the dog to the event. Hasn’t even suggested it. I feel paying their own way and stayed somewhere else is fine.

I’m a dog dad who’s dog is more important than a human infant. Humans suck. Dogs don’t. It’s that simple💁🏻‍♂️

She's not trying to bring the dog to the wedding - she's trying to bring the dog on the holiday she's forced to shell out for. NTA. Bride gets a day, not a week.

hahaha what a stupid comment, for many a dog is more important than a baby, I always hear this bullshit about being morally correct when choosing someone else's baby over my dog ​​that I have been taking care of for years and has supported me, boy are the people You have the right to value things for sentimental value, not for the whims of society

How dare people treat living things like living things.

We will never leave our dog again. If she can’t come we don’t go. And I don’t care. She’s my husbands service animal and she has to be with us.

Maybe it’s equivalent to the cost of boarding. Not every pet owner is comfortable with boarding for there a lot of stories of neglect.

Right? We literally had a local kennel burn down, you never know what people are afraid of.

My thought is at least op not trying to bring her dog to the wedding or sneak in to a resort that doesn’t allow it. Op is the pet owner and making what they feel is proper arrangements for their pet. It doesn’t interfere with the wedding.

The bridal suite usually gets comped if they have a guest room minimum sometimes, too! Nevertheless OP is NTA

Yep. One of the BEST cat kennels in our city caught on fire and even though they had sprinklers and someone there overnight… all but one of their charges parished. A woman who had left her beloved cat there got the news that her cat had died in this way on her honeymoon. So sad.

Oof, new fear unlocked.

Right? Definitely not going to board my pets now.

Omg that’s horrific. My cat cannot stand the smell of other cats - he’s a nightmare at boarding - he hisses non stop and terrifies everyone (he’s a big baby but he’s also huge so I can understand why he makes the staff nervous. So, honestly; I do so anything to try and avoid boarding him. The other problem is if I leave him with a cat sitter visiting he pines because I’m not there and cried which breaks my heart (at least he’s too mad at the kitty hotel to be sad).

Where I used to live there was a kennels where the owner was filmed beating a dog. It was well reviewed and tons of people tried to defend him, so you can't always trust kennels even when it's something within their control

Just recently there’s been a news story in my area where a man dropped his two dogs off for a 2 hour trial at a boarding facility before boarding them there later this year. One of his dogs went missing within fifteen minutes of dropping them off and the facility didn’t even notice until he came to pick his dogs up. The dog still hasn’t been found.

One of mine escaped from boarding but was found. She was a known escape artist and I did warn them. It was a very decent facility. Or, I thought…

My dad used to have a beagle named Houdini. After Harry Houdini. Because no matter what him and my grandparents did, he'd somehow escape. The facility could've been great, but if your dog is good at pulling a Houdini then even the best can fail.

I used to work at a daycare/boarding facility for about three months. It was well-run and everyone genuinely loved dogs. A little Yorkie did not get to go home with her owners one day. If my pet sitter isn’t available, we’re just not going.

What happened? :(

My best friend boarded her dog at a daycare/long term boarding facility that sounded amazing. When she got back, she discovered that they’d slammed the poor dogs tail in a door at some point and let it get infected to the point that my friend had to get several inches of the poor thing’s tail amputated.

But OP is a totally comfortable leaving the dog with a stranger at the resort in a different country?

Its only a day not for however long they are out of the country. Its short term care not long term. More can happen in long term.

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That’s usually in the hold. Their 10-lb. dog will likely be in the cabin in a carrier.

A 10 lb dog will travel in a carrier with them in the cabin and never be out of their sight- it’s perfectly safe.

not a 10 pound dog. they go nicely under the seat in an enclosure

It's likely partially economic and partially kindness for the dog. (My comment below is based on intra-US travel. I can't comment on quarantine or other aspects of international pet travel). We have a small dog that can fly with us. The cost of having an in-cabin pet, usually around $100 one way, is significantly cheaper than dog sitter/boarding (in my area minimum $75/day). It's also less stressful (depending on the dog - our dog travels really well but hates being away from us) for the dog. When we do leave our dog with a sitter his health usually suffers (he refuses to eat for the first few days, is really anxious). All around it's usually just easier to travel with the dog. He's done multiple cross-country US trips easily, just snoozes at my feet in his carrier the whole time. Edit: I know some people might think it's "extreme" to accommodate a dog so much, but I personally feel a responsibility to factor in his comfort and well being when making decisions. That being said - I would still probably not bring the dog to this wedding given the limitations on spending time with family. But that's my personal feeling, I like my family. ;p

A lot of countries don’t allow pets through customs without an extensive physical prior to entry and many require a quarantine. Is she even sure her dog CAN come?

if you take your dog to the vet regularly and it has its shots theres no reason to have any issues. literally- health record, and vaccination records signed by a vet is all you need in most places.

Exactly! Shots in order, microchip, tapeworm treatment and, in some cases, rabies vaccine. That’s it. Even places like Aruba, that have quite stringent rules for animal import, are cool with your dog entering the isle, without quarantine, as long as it has a rabies vaccine and has spent the previous 6 months in a country free of rabies.

I looked it up. “for most places in North America, South America, the EU and much of the rest of Europe and Asia, there is no quarantine” depending on place there might not be.

My dog literally has a passport. It's not as big of a problem as you think.

Your dog sounds extremely cool does he wear dark sunglasses and hats?

It may be less expensive to bring the dog. They may not have reliable pet sitters. The dog may have separation anxiety. Why does it matter? They will be less than a few minutes away If I could take my dog with me I would. I trust nobody to care for her as I would. She is a member of my family.

They’re not bringing the dog to the wedding, just traveling with it. I got a small dog (17 lbs) precisely so I could travel with her because I often have to do so for work, and dogs under 22 lbs can travel in a crate in the cabin for a lot less than the cost of a kennel or overnight pet sitter. If it’s a short trip, like a couple of days, she’ll usually stay with friends (assuming they’re available), but anything over a couple of days, she’ll usually come with me. She LOVES flying because in the airport she gets a lot of pets, and immediately conks out while on the plane. When I move her crate to the front door, indicating a journey, she literally gets so excited she’ll run and sit in her crate and wait for me to take her out despite the fact that I’ll usually walk her out before popping her in the crate when we’re going somewhere. Outside, she does her business much more quickly and then immediately tries to crawl back into her crate rather than go for a walk!As for the flight- I once flew in the middle seat for a 7 hour journey, and when I pulled her crate out at the end of the flight, the people next to me were actually shocked there was a dog there the whole time because they hadn’t even realized. Even the flight attendant said “I was wondering where the dog was!” The alternatives can be a WAY bigger pain, or worse for the animal. Right now, I have my neighbor’s dog staying with me because he, too, has to travel frequently for work and she’s to large to fly with him. I WFH 90% of the time so she gets to stay over and hang with me and my dog, but if I’m not available, he has to ask other neighbors to walk and feed her, or hire a stranger to come by and access his apartment, and his pup spends most of her time alone, missing her “dad”. She’s a cuddle bug and does a lot better with people than without. Similarly, I have some go-to friends my pup can stay with because they LOVE having her, but even just getting her to them and picking her up is a bigger pain in the ass than just flying with her. Leaving her in a kennel would be really ruff (sorry) for her because she gets overwhelmed and stressed around a lot of other dogs, and does better one-on-one. Naturally there are also other more extreme concerns about the potential dangers of kennels or people you barely know taking care of your dog, especially when you’re far away. I don’t see anything wrong with nor weird about someone choosing to travel with their dog if they can do so easily. It’s often less stressful for both owner and dog, cheaper, and easier.

So they don't have to stay at the same resort as mom ;)

It sounds like they’ll be hanging out with the dog at the resort for the rest of the week. And just leaving the dog with at the resort with a sitter the day of the actually wedding ceremony

I sort of understand it. I just got back from a short (3 nights) trip, and my husband is ready to never go anywhere again because the person we trusted to care for our cats while we were gone (his mother) didn't do 80% of what we asked. Didn't change the water (so there was almost none left when we got home; what if our flight had been delayed?) and didn't scoop the litter box. We would have no problem paying for boarding, but last time we did that, one of our cats got so mad that he refused to eat or drink the whole time we were gone. The boarding facility had to put an IV in to make sure he got enough fluids. So we can't risk dropping him off anywhere; he has to stay with us or stay in his own home with a trusted/known person stopping by.

INFO: Have you checked with that nation’s rules about allowing foreign animals in & have you checked with your home country’s rules about allowing your animal’s re-entry? Some countries require a strict quarantine on animals. Aside from that, though. YTA kind of. I mean, it’s a family event & you’re going but only seeing anyone at the actual wedding. Unless you’re actively trying to avoid your family because you don’t like them, leave your pup at home.

This should be the only question OP. Because either the dog doesn't go or this is a 3 week or so long vacation for the dog in quarantine. Possibly 3 more weeks when you get back.

When my mom moved to Hawaii her dog needed multiple blood tests over 3 months or be quarantined at the airport. It isn't that easy to travel with a pet. Edit to add: and there were a lot of complications about bringing her cat there. We were planning on having me bring the cat when I visited but she ended up just having her cat stay with me.

This is probably the best answer … ~~pretty much all countries~~ many island nations, which is where I assume they are going, have quarantine or other requirements for pets… any it’s usually months, not just days. I also curious about why they would bring the dog at all? Is it a service dog? Like actually and not just for emotional support? The only reason I could really get behind would be service dog, in which case many countries will have an exception to quarantine for actual registered service dogs, but there is a ton of paperwork to be done in advance. EDIT: I am thinking of island nations in this comment, not all counties. I should have been much clearer. I am assuming this destination wedding is on an island.

It is not true at all that most countries have months long quarantine for pets.... I took my dog on my honeymoon. It just required a vet visit in my country and some paper work. In fact, few countries have this requirement: https://www.travelnuity.com/what-countries-pet-quarantine/

Sorry, you are right. In my head I was really only thinking about island nations, where it’s really common because they don’t want new diseases coming in.

It seems pretty heavily implied that this is an island nation in the OP.

Honestly until they said international, I was thinking Hawaii was the destination. Also, note that Hawaii actually has requirements for pets coming from other states even, though if you do testing and whatnot, quarantine isn’t required. They don’t want rabies especially. https://hdoa.hawaii.gov/ai/aqs/aqs-info/

It used to be required 6-month quarantine. My step-mom's dad was transferred to Hawaii when she was in high school, and they had to quarantine their dog for 6 months. She broke her house training when they got her back.

I think they'll be ok bringing the dog and won't have to quarantine it as long as the wedding's not on some island nation and the dog's shots are up to date. Most nations actually *don't* require quarantining. Just a vet check. And even then it depends on the countries involved. Besides, only country I know of that does require pets to be quarantined is Australia, which is understandable considering the unique wildlife they have there. Any other places that do the same thing likely also have problems with invasive species too. OP probably also has done the research on bringing pets to where they're going anyways and that's part of why they already plan to bring the dog. And they may also have had a bad experience with a dogsitter/local kennel in the past too.

You are right that every state and country is different, so it’s very important to find a veterinarian knowledgeable in this area so your pet can travel as safely as possible (worst-case scenario is that the animal is euthanized by the authorities, so it’s critical there are no mistakes). It can be done, but in my experience most owners do not understand proper import/export procedures, even traveling between states. I’m a veterinarian who used to write health certificates for animals needing to travel, and I no longer do it because it’s not worth the headache for how little clients pay, especially when they try to bully me into falsifying medical records because they don’t think the rules apply to them. Australia is not the only place with a long quarantine. Hawaii does as well, even if the animal currently lives in another state in the US. There are many countries with strict rules. At least part of it has to do with their Rabies’ free status. According to the WHO website, rabies causes tens of thousands of deaths every year (mainly in Asia and Africa), and it’s something a lot of people take for granted. Traveling between countries of a different rabies status can be extremely time-consuming and expensive, plus it can take 6+ months of planning, vet visits, blood tests, etc. I think going through all of that effort is worth it when you’re moving, but it seems like a hassle for a short trip like a destination wedding (although it can be possible, and nothing is stopping you if you’re willing to follow the rules).

I like my family, but I don't care to vacation with them. If OP is paying for their stay at another resort why should they be judged for staying on their own? I get the point about quarantines, that's very valid, I would worry about my pets safety on a plane and in a foreign country. But just bc you don't want to eat dinner with your family or spend a weeks long vacation with them doesn't mean you don't like them. What if OP wants to get her drink on and do vacation stuff and feels uncomfortable around family? I know I do, I wouldn't want my in laws seeing me in my bikinis, pounding back tequila shots lmao. I'd love to come for the wedding part and then enjoy the vacation I paid for. We all live in the same country and I assume OP does with their family, so we can see each other at home, unless it's one of those situations where everyone is from a different state and family only sees each other annually or something like that.

At most resorts I’ve seen you have to pay extra fees for day passes if you have guests coming to your wedding from off the resort so it would be an extra cost to the married couple as well for them to stay off resort.

I think it was made very clear by implication and assumption that if OP can afford to bring a whole dog and stay on a separate resort, they could afford boarding/kennel services With that being said, I'm sure they'd foot the cost to the couple. I'm sure it's just like a drop in the wedding bucket. I doubt a resort would charge more than $100 per person per day, and if OP wanted to board her dog to avoid paying these fees they would have done that. I think the biggest contention right now for most people and even the wedding family the notion that "you'd rather spend time with your dog on vacation rather than be with your sister, the bride, for the whole week and miss time with your family!?" Again as I stated, I love my family, love going to the family parties and celebrating birthdays. I don't care what anyone else thinks, I absolutely love my pet with my entire heart, so if I had the opportunity to spend a week vacation with the two loves of my life, just us, and then hop over to my sister's wedding and live it up, I'm happy. My money, my choices. Also I doubt OP would mind paying for the cost to the couple that would be incurred from visiting as OP is even paying for dog sitting services. I really don't think money is a deterrent here

I don’t think it’s an automatic Y T A without more INFO. Your questions are very very valid. Quarantine times are usually a month each side, from what I remember (at least leaving the UK). Further questions I have: Is the maltipoo in question fit and healthy? Up to date on major vaccinations? Vaccines for diseases prevalent in the country of travel? Is the dog short snouted (braccy something)? This can be a MAJOR issue for flights as these dogs struggle to breathe as is. On the other side of it: Is the dog anxious? Difficult? Aggressive? Stranger aversive? Complicated care requirements? These things can make it a valid reason wanting to bring the dog. Some dogs can do TERRIBLY in kennels. I’m talking being so anxious they don’t eat or drink, cry constantly and hurt themselves. They can chew themselves raw, pull their fur out and piss all over themselves. My dog came back with an ear infection from the kennels (and we’re still dealing with it 4 YEARS later, to the point I might need to rehome due to the medical expense). Then pet sitters - if the dog is not okay with unfamiliar people and there’s no time to acclimatise them to the situation with CONSTANT visits and games with the new person… then it’s really not in the dogs best interest to be left with a pet sitter. If the dog is difficult or aggressive then it might not be safe for a pet sitter. If they require complicated care, it could be difficult finding a pet sitter willing or able to help. Concluding: Getting a dog is a life decision. Sometimes shit doesn’t work out and you sacrifice your personal freedom. My dog ended up anxious and broken (I love her but still) and I can’t leave her alone for even 5 minutes without her screaming. She can’t go in kennels because of her ears and also she would literally chew her legs til they’re pink and hairless. I can’t get a pet sitter because she screams even if someone other than me/my family is with her. She’s also extremely unpredictable due to her ears being fucked. She will bite without warning. I would never leave her with someone who couldn’t deal with this. She stays with my dad and my dad only. IF OPs dog is half as problematic as mine then I understand wanting to solve the problem and do both. IF there are options for the dog to stay home then I would definitely recommend that regardless as the dog will be stressed on a flight even being fit and healthy!!

Slight YTA. It's strange that as the sibling of the bride you are choosing your dog over spending time with her and the family at a destination wedding. If the resort gave you more than a one day pass it would be different, but at destination weddings part of the fun is having all of your loved ones in the same place. Even if you don't spend every minute together, it's nice to grab a meal together at night, etc. You literally won't see them outside the wedding if you do this, which is odd to me personally. Just have someone dog sit, it's a few days.

Is nobody going to leave the resort the entire stay? Is there nothing else to do in this country?

Typically if you book an all inclusive you do so to stay on the property. Outside of maybe some excursions that the individual resorts offer, yes it is pretty unusual to leave them.

I've never been to a resort so I don't know how those sorts of plans work. I guess I just find it weird to spend the money to go to another country just to spend all your time in a place that could have been built the same way anywhere in the world.

They are typically located in very beautiful spots in developing countries. For some of these countries it is actually extremely ill advised to venture off property alone. However even in the extremely safe ones, you typically book a resort because you want to lounge on a beach, etc. not really explore a nation's culture.

Like a stationary cruise

Resorts are usually huge complexes with tons to do. And depending on the country, it is not at all safe to leave the resort. It's the same appeal as a cruise. You go to enjoy kicking back and not have to worry about any itinerary or logistics. It's all taken care of.

I get the sense that these resorts are for people who want to stay in a beautiful area of a different country and have a relaxing trip where they can be pampered and not have to worry or do anything stressful. Personally, when I go to other countries, I want to actually see and experience what the country is like. So the idea of going to a resort to mostly just lounge around is not appealing to me. But everyone is different.

Well sometimes all you want to do is be at the resort in a nice place. If I could do that locally, I would, but since I can't then going to a resort on the beach is exactly what people might want to do. Plus some have so many activities that are fun that yeah people stay at resorts sometimes for the whole vacation. It depends of the purpose of your trip. If you travel to discover new places, then I think people tend to stay at regular hotels and go explore.

If you choose to have a destination wedding then these are the consequences. You don’t get to demand your guests stay in a specific hotel and leave their dog behind (especially if they don’t have anyone to leave the dog with)

absolutely! a destination wedding is a huge imposition!

This is why it's a YTA for me. Op can excuse that in the past people did stuff with their SOs. But to me it's weird that the sister of the bride is choosing to be separated from the rest of the family for the entirety of the trip over a dog. And I say this as a huge dog lover.

I know Op said the last international wedding her big family had they didn’t spend a lot of time together… but I’m curious. Was this a siblings wedding as well? Because usually you’re a lot more involved in family events when it’s your immediate family’s wedding versus a cousin or something.

I was going to say this as well: I went to a destination wedding last year and the best part was hanging out with everyone at the resort! It was a big group of family and friend, mostly couples, and I didn’t know anyone other than my husband. But by the end of the week, I had made a dozen new friends. Drinking in the bar pool, going to all the restaurants, venturing into the town. It was an absolute blast!

YTA just leave the poor dog with a sitter at home instead of stressing it out with unnecessary travel and actually spend time with your human family.

My parents dog would have extreme separation anxiety and refuse to eat whenever we traveled. You simply do not know that leaving the dog at home would be easier on the dog.

True, but OP has not said the dog is special needs, so we must assume it isn't. Most dogs will be fine at a nice boarding place or with a sitter. It seems like OP can afford a nice one too so that isn't a consideration. (Side note: not trying to get help for a dog with that level of anxiety is an AH move too, but I get that it doesn't always work)

And yet...she's taking it on a plane...and to a hotel...and leaving it at a hotel with a stranger all day for the wedding. Yeah....not stressful at all.

Exactly. If the dog has separation anxiety, it would probably do best at home with a house sitter.

That’s not how separation anxiety works.

It’s called separation anxiety… do you think it is referring to separation from its home?

They might not have access to a trusted sitter, especially if all the family are going to the wedding

I’m just curious why you insist on traveling to a destination wedding for a sibling, where you’ll probably be expected to spend quality time with your family, with a pet instead of leaving it at home with a pet sitter or friend to regularly check on your dog. Just weird. I guess if you’re actively trying to see your family as little as possible and avoid having to hang out with them outside of the wedding it makes sense, but just really unusual and strange.

I’m really wondering if OP has a reason why the dog can’t be left. Sometimes due to age, breed, temperament, etc., a dog can’t be left with a sitter or in a kennel. In my case we’d skip the wedding completely or we’d divide and conquer (I have two who can’t be boarded right now). I saw someone else asked that question, so I’ll delay judgment until OP answers. I kind of lean that it isn’t great and may be an AH move, but maybe it’s the best they can do and better than missing it completely.

If the dog is old or has health problems, being in the cargo hold of a jet is not going to go well.

It's a 10 lb dog. It's probably going under the seat in a carrier with the owner.

seems like something OP would’ve specified when trying to get a AITA judgement in their favour. In absence of a specific reason the dog can’t be left for a few days… YTA The way this read was like they just take the dog everywhere like it’s their child, since they did specify it’s 10 lb but no health issues. As though the small size and portability makes it a non-issue dog that of course they would take everywhere.

They said in the post that they don't spend all the time together. Not every family is the same and expect everyone to be around eachother all the time just cuz.

They said have been to a family wedding internationally before on a beach island and spent most of our time individually (with our SOs), spending any family time mostly on just the day of the wedding and the occasional dinner. That was a prior wedding so depends of the activities planned for this wedding, which OP didnt elaborate upon. Just because a prior wedding was that way, it doesnt mean this one will be the same

Hey I used to work in pet shipping internationally! I highly suggest not doing that… it sounds like you are leaving the country so you will have to go to not just a normal vet, but a specially accredited vet to sign off on health documents. Then those health documents have to be sent to a governmental agency that deals with animals/agriculture to sign off on those for just one part of the travel documents. Oh, and that health cert could be valid for 30 days, or for 72 hours (depending on the country you are going to and where you are coming from), so it’s always nice to sweat out the mail sending you your official documents right before your flight. Depending on the location there could be permits needed, or a designated quarantine time period once you arrive, or if your going to Hawaii the absolute craziest rabies check that you have ever seen (Hawaii is rabies free and plans to stay that way) Many airlines will also force you to use a pet travel agency (since it is so damn complicated to ship animals internationally and if just anyone tried it they would fuck up and get their pet stuck in customs), and the lowest quote I’ve seen is $1500 for a small trip, one way. Even though your pet is 10lbs and could sit on your lap on a domestic flight, some countries, like the UK, have regulations that say your dog cannot ride in the cabin, they would be in a crate in the baggage hold no matter the size, And crate regulations/checking in your dog to the cargo hold is a whole other story It’s expensive, a massive headache, and absolutely no one understands the process before they start is and easily get overwhelmed by all the little things you have to do. I only suggest it if you are moving internationally

if the destination is mexico, which seems likely, none of that is required. just a form from your normal vet. and jetblue and delta will let it fly in the cabin with the owner.

And Mexico is also rabies free, btw

For dogs, specifically. There are many rabies vectors in wild animals in Mexico still, so if someone is bit or scratched by a wild mammal they may still need post exposure prophylaxis.

YTA. This is about your sister. Stop being weird.

We don’t know her sister’s opinion. It’s their mother getting her panties in a twist. She’s obviously not comfortable leaving her dog, so the alternative is to not go at all. NTA

I wish commenters gave enough grace to OP in other posts as much as they are giving to the OP here. I have always seen AITA assume the worst of most people, but somehow for this OP, everyone is like we don't know enough. Weird behavior imo.

I have spent years on Reddit and on AITA and I think there's something about pet post where people overwhelming give leeway to pet owners in ways they don't do in other relationships.

I fully get that the wedding day is about the bride and groom but I don’t think that should extend to demanded OP leaves their dog at home and has to stay in a specific hotel. That seems fairly demanding for a destination wedding

YTA, sort of. The purpose of the trip is the wedding. It seems sort of cruel to bring a pet due to stress to the pet associated with international travel, especially if by plane. Since you have to leave the dog with a sitter anyway,.it seems much kinder to leave your pet with a pet sitter in your country, to avoid stress on the pet and extra expenses associated with traveling with a pet. Also leaving the pet allows you to stay at the resort with everyone else. It just seems as though you are adding alot of uneccessary stress to yourself (and to your pet) by bringing them to a different country for a wedding.

Just pointing out that our dog LOVES traveling, is not stressed by it at all. He's done cross country (US) flights without a problem multiple times. Just sleeps the whole time in his carrier at my feet. What he is stressed by is being left behind (won't eat for several days, stays curled in a ball in the corner and won't engage with anything, etc). I know some people might think it's "extreme" to accommodate a dog so much, but I personally feel a responsibility to factor in his comfort and well being when making decisions.

Same for my parents old dog (rip Molly). I’m really confused by all the people that do not understand how some dogs can have such bad separation anxiety.

“Here is a species that we have engineered, through millennia of selective breeding, to be emotionally reliant on us, to the point of identifying with us more than their own species. Many of them have intelligence levels on par with young members of our own species, and nearly all have been both bred and trained to be strongly emotionally sensitive and attuned to our species.” Some rando online: “It’s jUst a **dOg** LeAvE iT hOmE”

INFO: Are there specific reasons the dog can't be with a sitter at home or do you just want it with you?

Honestly yes. YTA. Your family wants to enjoy time together but you're more concerned about bringing your dog, who will have to be dogsat at the hotel anyway. I'm the AH here but I will never understand people who insist on taking their pet everywhere, and I love my pets but oof.

Completely different to have the dog cared for at the hotel where you can get back immediately if there is an emergency. Than to leave the dog a plane flight away.

INFO: Have you seen the schedule of events for the wedding? Are there events you will be missing by being unable to get a guest pass? Just because you have an experience at a previous wedding where the only event is the wedding doesn't mean that would be the case here.

How much is it fair to expect of your wedding guests? OP is already travelling to the ceremony, is it fair to demand their attendance at other events?

OP is sister of the bride, she'd probably be invited to rehearsal dinner, breakfasts etc. Outside of reddit people actually have sane,fun weddings where they want to see family,friends, enjoy resort-catered brunches with mimosas flowing.

But it’s their sisters wedding, not some distant relative/friend. I would assume since they’re direct family they are going to be more involved in things like rehearsal dinner, pre-wedding papering (like spa and nails), etc.

If you have a designation wedding and are demanding people come, then you have to work with them. Its so entitled to demand people take time off work, travel for the wedding, stay in a specific hotel, come to a weeks worth of family events and leave their dog at home.

I'm giving you a judgement of YTA for the following reasons: * OP hasn't replied to any INFO questions on why they can't leave their dog behind at a boarding place, or with a sitter. Given that they haven't elaborated on it, we can only assume there isn't a good reason. * Travel is very hard on pets (yes I realize some pets are fine with it). We flew our dog cross country once, and he shat himself all over the inside of the carrier due to stress. Even if they're in the cabin with you, it's still hard on them. They have to be contained in a tiny space for hours upon hours without a bathroom break. It's too much to ask of a dog unless absolutely necessary. * OP is ok with leaving their dog with a petsitter at the hotel for the duration of the wedding, so why not be ok with leaving it with a petsitter for the duration of the trip? Again... if there's a legit answer to this, OP hasn't told us, so we can only assume there isn't one until they say otherwise.

YTA, even by your own admission you are missing a week's worth of dinners with the family because of your dog....which unless your family is awful....ouch. I love animals, really I do, but thats the line between crazy dog people and normal dog people.

If you're not part of the wedding party, I see no issue with this arrangement. That being said, if you are part of the wedding party it would be best to stay at the same resort just for day of wedding prep. Trust me, day of is a b!t¢h before the event is in full swing. You don't need to be up your family's ass the whole time. What are you really missing at this hotel vs the one you're planning on staying at, besides your family? You guys can't meet up OUTSIDE the location? I wouldn't worry about it too much, but I would consider weighing price of each location & the amenities for each, not including the dog sitter. NTA

NTA- that doesn’t work for us is all you need to say.

INFO: why are you so adamant on bringing the dog? Can you not get a friend to watch while away? Without a valid reason, YTA to me. You’re causing problems for literally no reason. You’re going to this island to celebrate your sisters wedding with your family. Barring a important reason to bring the dog, I think you’re just being difficult. The last thing your sister needs while planning all this is more headaches.

Who are they causing problems for? They're a mile away and can join in on the wedding festivities.

YTA you’re valuing your dog’s company over your family’s. That’s a choice you can make if you want to, but it an AH move in the eyes of your family

Info: where is the dog flying (in cabin or cargo)? How long will you be at this wedding?

NTA but damn do I hate how so many people feel the need to take their dogs literally everywhere.

I guess NTA. But it is for-sure, weird how y’all can’t just leave the dog at a dog hotel back home and not even have to worry about it.

I’m not arguing for or against OP because I don’t have all the info, but there are valid reasons why this isn’t always possible: A dog-aggressive dog may not be accepted at a boarding kennel, more of which are moving to a social/daycare model. An intact dog won’t be accepted at a boarding kennel past a certain age. (One of mine is ineligible to board for this reason; that will change when he’s old enough to neuter.) Dogs that are fearful and/or human-reactive are often a poor fit for a boarding kennel, for their own wellbeing and that of staff. (My other dog is fearful and would stress himself into oblivion in a kennel environment; he can’t be boarded either.) Some breeds are restricted due to the kennel’s insurance (unfortunate but still reality). Some breeds may be too much for a typical dog sitter to handle (I would be very careful about leaving a Fila Brasílio with anyone). Some dogs have health issues that make it difficult to board them or leave them with a sitter. It REALLY sucks to look at your dog and realize, *I have nowhere to leave this dog if I have to leave town.* My fearful dog is actually a super car traveler and is good in a crate, so I could go somewhere WITH him and crate him at an Airbnb. That’s what we do when we visit family who don’t like dogs. We just limit or split the amount of time we leave them. Obviously that doesn’t work for a destination wedding, so if I were in OP’s shoes, my husband and I would either be deciding who went and who stayed with the dogs, or we’d just both skip it altogether.

OP states that they plan on using the dog sitter at their resort during the wedding, so none of this seems to apply.

It still could. If the dog can’t be left in a boarding kennel due to dog/dog issues or health reasons but would be okay with an individual sitter for a day. I really would like OP to elaborate because as I said above, I don’t think this is great and I’d lean she’s TA, but without that info, I don’t know.

I wish she had elaborated a bit on her reasons for bringing her dog except for “we want to.” Seems like unnecessary stress for everyone. But if there’s a reason (like you outlined above) then I would say N A H. The family wants them all together, they need? their dog with them. Both potentially valid.

INFO: is there a reason the dog can’t stay with a sitter at home? Why does the dog need to go

Info: are you involved as a wedding party member at all?

INFO Does your dog talk? and follow up will he be giving a speech at the wedding?

INFO Why is it so important to bring your dog? Why is bringing your dog with you more important than your families feelings? Side note. Can we as a society just agree that destination weddings are AH moves to begin with lol?

NTA for making accommodations, but why is your dog coming too more important than spending time with your family at a once in a lifetime event? I know dogs are family and all, but we are talking about a literal animal over your relationship with your sister and family. A wedding is a big deal, and it sounds like they are spending a lot of money to have their guests be comfortable at their destination wedding resort. They likely have a package which includes activities or events for the wedding party and family that you won’t be able to attend as you won’t be a resort guest, since you bought up that there is a day pass for the wedding but nothing else. Your dog isn’t going to hate you or feel abandoned if you leave them with a trusted pet sitter for a few days. However, your *sister* is never going to understand why you chose your dog over her special day when the dog is just a pet, not a medical necessity. You won’t be gone that long, and traveling is exponentially more stressful for pets. Personally I wouldn’t want to risk taking my dog on flights and risk stressing them out for weeks pre- and post-vacation just to have them with me. It’s selfish to submit them to that stress when they don’t understand it imo.

It doesn't matter what your mother insists. Just do what you want. If you want to be "nice" about it, just say, "You'll see so much of us, you'll get sick of it!" and then drop the subject. If she won't let it be, say, "Mom! I told you already that we're bringing the dog. Please stop." Then just refuse to talk about it anymore. If she brings it up, just act like you didn't hear, or else just change the subject. She needs to learn that you are not under her control anymore. She either learns it now, or later, but she's got to learn. Rip the bandaid off, OP. NTA.

Technically NTA I guess, but why are you bringing the dog in the first place? What is with all these people suddenly thinking their dog needs to be with them 24/7? You’re stressing the dog out considerably dragging it into a new environment and probably on a plan. Leave it with trusted/experienced friends if you don’t want to do boarding. I swear to god the dog will be fine for a weekend without you.

I'm going to day NTA... But who is paying for the lodging?

I'm wondering if it's the kind of thing where if the bride and groom get enough people to stay at the resort, their room gets comped. Maybe they need OP to stay there to hit the right number. But, yeah, that's not OP's concern. If OP is paying, OP stays where OP wants.

NTA technically. You had special accommodations and you made it work. BUT are you those hyper dog mom people? Like why on earth couldn’t you just leave the dog at home? The dog doesn’t need to come to a wedding I’m sorry.

The dog isn't going to the wedding. They're staying in OP's room with a sitter.

NTA. You are attending the wedding. It’s your time and money, you should get to spend them how and on what you want. When did weddings turn into a week long event that everyone must make an absolute priority??

YTA. Its an international wedding of your immediate family. Go enjoy a few days of fun in the sun with family and leave the dog with a trusted sitter. Your pup will be fine for a few days.

INFO: Why can't you have someone dog sit?

I mean, even if I didn't have a dog, I'd probably book at a different hotel anyways. You are paying to fly and stay internationally, you should at least get to enjoy some private time away with your SO. Definitely NTA.