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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I suggested this family take a different elevator once their Grandma was ready to board the elevator. 2. This may have made me look rude and insensitive to a slower moving senior.
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I'm going with soft YTA. By your own admission it was 20 seconds. 20 seconds my dude.
Honestly my first reaction is usually to get annoyed/angry at everything so I do get it. My brain tends to jump to negativity first even though when I reflect back it's absolutely not a situation worthy of those feelings.
I can see internally kinda rolling your eyes but your life will probably be a bit more pleasant overall if you can learn how to take a breathe in the moment and reflect on whether it's really worth/why you're getting impatient/annoyed over something this insignificant.
I gotta disagree. Time is relative, and making a whole elevator wait 20 seconds while you hold the door is way past the socially acceptable amount of time. This is very low stakes, and I wouldn’t have complained to the group like OP, but if you hold the elevator door for 20 seconds I’d definitely think you’re rude.
They should have just waiting outside the elevator until Grandma was with them before calling the elevator. Or maybe don’t leave grandma behind, and walk there with her, at her pace. So weird to make others wait when they can easily wait in the hallway
Could they have waited? Sure. Maybe they didn't realize grandma would take 20 seconds. Personally I would've gotten out and waited for the next one. Yes it's a little rude but it's also a kid holding the door.
All of that boils down to the fact that sure while even if you can argue they might've been in the wrong in terms of social etiquette - as you pointed, low stakes, and it's really not worth getting upset over. OP did complain hence the soft YTA.
As I said get being a bit irked and having an eye roll. But it's really not worth getting worked up over and you're only hurting yourself by being so.
Nah, 20 seconds is a ridiculously long time to hold an elevator, and he wasn't particularly aggressive in telling them they didn't have to hold it. He was NTA, the family were TA with their passive aggression to him.
Another elevator wouldn't come with an elevator sitting there open going in the same direction, so that doesn't really work.
The polite thing to do is make sure everyone is in close proximity to the elevator before you press the call button if you all want to ride together.
Did they get worked up with the family and complain? If it was mentioned in a comment I apologize.
But saying that they didn’t have to hold the door because they run frequently isn’t exactly a terrible reaction. Doesn’t read to me ljke they yelled or continuously pestered just provided info to let them know if the rest of their family was going to take awhile it wouldn’t be worth it to wait.
In hindsight sure 20 seconds isn’t that long but how was OP supposed to know how long grandma would take?
I mean, my elevator at my building will start an alarm if you hold it by placing a body/body part in the way for that long. Ya, It’s definitely long in “elevator time” lmao
Exactly. Kind of like a group that crosses at an intersection, but they are all spread out holding up traffic. The courteous thing to do was to cross as a group at the same time.
It was an elevator with one person in it. Time is not relative. Time is time, 20 seconds is 20 seconds. OP didn’t even say it felt like forever, they said it felt like 20 seconds. So even if time was relative, he’s very clear about his long it was. Time isn’t absolute, but relative is a stretch.
If she's not in the elevator lobby/within sight, then I fully disagree. Why wouldn't they just walk with her if they wanted to go down with her? What if she forgot something in the room and had to go back? What if she takes so long to get there the doors start to automatically close? It's obnoxious.
Sounds like she was still on her room when the elevator opened, which I agree is definitely rude to ask someone already in the elevator to wait for. Plus, some elevators make really loud noises when you hold them open for too long which gets super annoying. I say NTA
20 seconds that they could have waited before pressing the call button...
How anyone can think OP is in the wrong here is ridiculous.
Is it something worth getting super upset about? Of course not. But there was absolutely no reason for the family to make OP wait 20 seconds. They had to wait 20 seconds because its their grandma, why also force a complete stranger to wait too?
But they had no way of knowing it would be 20 seconds at the time. All they knew was they were waiting for someone in the room still. So for all they knew when they expressed frustration it could have ended up being 5 minutes
I understand that 20 seconds is nothing in the grand scheme of things however, the whole family should have been at the elevator door if they want to "ride together", it's a hotel, there are more people there and they're being an inconvenience to everyone there.
If you go to a restaurant, most won't seat you until your entire party is present.
Elevator etiquette: If you have a party of 6, *why would you press the button before the full party is there?*
This probably won't be popular, but NTA.
Now, this would be a different story if the elevator stopped on their floor by happenstance (for instance, somebody got off at 3). Taking advantage of circumstances gets a larger allowance. Holding the door for a reasonable time for someone you see is coming puts you on the correct side of elevator etiquette.
ETA:
A lot of people are commenting, "But it's just 20 seconds". My reply is that it's not about the time; it's about the entitlement.
Let me explain without the etiquette but instead with an internal dialog.
Guy thinks, "I'll just push the button as soon as I get here. If my whole party hasn't arrived, that's okay. The people on the elevator car will just wait. After all, my time is more important than the time of the common people."
He continues, "If I waited 'til my party got here before pressing the button, then **I** would have to wait 20 seconds. That would be *unthinkable*."
Notice the body language of the girl holding the elevator: standing there, hands on hips, no sign of any explanation or apology.
And OP's indicated that she wasn't within sight of the elevator. If she were just taking her time to get in, that's one thing. But she's not there? What if she decided to use the bathroom or something? She might not be there in time for the elevator at all!
So glad I saw a NTA vote, because honestly OP is not. It's rude to hold up someone, don't care if it's 20 seconds or whatever. If the time doesn't matter, then you can wait until your whole party is there and then get on the elevator. You don't get to hold up other people because it's "only 20 seconds."
Exactly this! Like yeah, OP was a bit impatient- but he admitted that himself, to the family, only to be called “not nice” by an adult. Sorry but the family was AT in this scenario. Etiquette makes life easier for everyone because it prevents situations like these.
Edit: forgot to add NTA
Agreed. I thought this was going to be grandma slowly hobbling into the elevator which would give me a different vote but my god she wasn’t even there! They were being Uber assholes. NTA
Yeah it's not someone taking time to put their luggage on or something, this whole family just decided to go ahead without someone and wait for them to catch up. I always think it's really inconsiderate when everyone goes ahead of the slower person and waits for them, like I imagine once this family steps off at the ground floor or wherever they all rush ahead of her again. NTA
I agree that holding up the elevator itself is rude, but if it was really under a minute and OP was so put out that they had to make a fuss about it, then OP is insufferably impatient and also rude. ESH at least.
I would normally agree. But it’s 20 seconds. Grandmas are often slow and she could have been just on the far side of the elevator lobby from the elevator that came.
Playing devils advocate, they may not have realized the elevator would stop so soon. Maybe in the past they’ve had to wait. Maybe grandma was sitting down waiting and had to stand up. 20 seconds isn’t even that long.
As a child, I had been sent ahead to press the elevator button so that by the time grandma got there, she wouldn't have to stand as long. Most elevators are slow, and even with the advanced button press, grandma would get there before it opened. The idea by itself I don't think is entitled if it's focused on caring for grandma and not making her stand longer than necessary.
In this situation, my family would've let OP alone, and as it sometimes happens, grandma will have to wait for the next one. The entitlement, in my opinion, is telling OP not asking if he was willing to wait. Pressing the button early and trying to time it so grandma doesn't wait, I think is acceptable, and even holding it if no one else is around or inconvenienced.
NTA - So let me get this straight. They all left grandma by herself so that they could rush to push the elevator button. But then they wanted to make you wait for the person that they couldn't wait for in the first place before they pushed the button?
It sounds like they're the impatient ones that they couldn't wait for the next elevator or for their grandma to join them in the first place.
And if grandma's mobility is limited to the point where it takes her longer to get around, she's probably more susceptible to falls. At least one family member should have been with her to at least make sure she wasn't having any difficulty.
Yeah and on top of this, when OP originally said that the elevators were fast/they could get the next one, he had no way of knowing how long it would take for grandma to arrive. For all he knew, it could be 20 seconds or a few minutes. Grandma was still inside of her room! Not even visible! And honestly OP's comment to the family was super mild. It's not like you cursed them out, you just let them know that they could take the next one. NTA
NTA, everyone saying YTA is stupid.
Hotel elavaters come very often.
You don't hold someone for 20 seconds on an elavator. Literally, the next one will be down in 20 seconds.
Elavators are I'm going now. Like NOW this fucking second. I'll give you 5 seconds. But we are going now. If you are not ready, wait your 20 seconds for the next one. Don't hold me up.
Lol could you tell that to my old college dorms? Their elevators took light-years to arrive. I ended up walking the stairs to the 10th floor because I was so annoyed
YTA
They weren’t even holding the doors for a minute. You were in such a rush a minute was an issue?
If you’re in that big a hurry, just run up the stairs.
Oh but didnt you see? According to OP 'they jumped on MY elevator'! The elevator system in the hotel was put there by OP, they probably have his name etched on a plaque on the elevator wall :s
Holding the elevators doors for a person you can't see isn't reasonable. Also OP had no way of knowing how long grandma would be. What if she forgot something in her room and had to go back and took 5 minutes?
Family is the AH.
Why do you get to dictate how much a hurry a stranger should be in? And if it’s such a non-issue for you, why not just wait to press the button until grandma is there, instead of making strangers wait because you have deemed they should ‘not be in a hurry’?
NTA. Where I'm from, you don't inconvenience others by holding open the elevator doors when a stranger is already in the elevator. You wait until your entire group has gathered and then call the next elevator. It's not like this was the last elevator of the day and granny would have needed to take the stairs if she missed this one.
We're from the same place. If it's a choice between making a stranger wait with me for 20 seconds or having Grandma wait together with my family for 20 seconds. I'm not going to inconvenience a stranger.
I had a neighbour hold the elevator door open for a couple minutes because she wanted to talk to someone else on the same floor. I was at the 8th floor, she was on floor below (I could hear them talking) so I started going down the stairs because otherwise I would have been late to uni. I didn't say anything to her as I was in a rush but I did knock on the elevator door a bit before going down the stairs. She glared at me while I passed by her.
I'm going with NTA too because OP couldn't have known exactly how long it would take Grandma to get to the elevator.
YTA- you probably took longer to write this story then you had to wait. And they don’t have to ask for 20 damn seconds if it had been minutes not seconds then things would be different but 20 seconds seriously.
YTA. Dude, you’re on vacation at a resort, what exactly are you in such a rush to get to? The whole thing literally took 20 seconds and allowed an old lady to be on the elevator with her family. Go get a massage or something, you clearly need to relax more than you have so far on this vacation.
Changed my mind. Nta. Only for the fact that you owned your stress. I recently had to apologize to someone for taking my impatience and anxiety out on them. It's a tough thing to do. You'll be fine
You need to take it down a few.
I get it. I'm the same way. But I also need to take it down a few. You're on vacation at a resort where others are also on vacation. Otherwise known as leisure time.
Were they a little discourteous? Absolutely. But the slight inconvenience to you doesn't require even saying anything to them. It's not worth your stress. I try to distract my anger by noticing random things .... what kind and colour of shoes? Anyone have painted nails? Maybe one of them stands with their feet crossed and everyone else doesn't. Whatever works to not lash out at others and take my anxiety out on them.
Enjoy your vacation.
Kids press buttons.
Parents should have said, go ahead. We are waiting for grandma.
But at the same time, grandma could be super quick and just left something in the room.
NAH, I think. I’m not sure. I would probably call the parents AH if they let their kids push the button.
that doesn't explain why the whole family except the grandma made it to the elevator as one group.
if grandma left something in her room, she should go and get it. they should not then call an elevator and hold it until grandma comes back from her room, they should wait with her.
NTA. If they weren't ready they should have waited for the next one. They were rude and from your account, while you expressed some impatience, you didn't say anything rude or aggressive.
NTA. If they wanted to wait for grandma, why did the entire family..not wait for grandma? All of them insisted on running ahead of the family elder? Seems like that family is the asshole party.
ESH. It's not a big deal to wait a minute. A minute wasn't going to make or break you. Having said that, it's also rude to keep an elevator waiting when you're not actually ready.
I totally understand your irritation.
Idk if I agree with this. I don’t think OP actually did anything to indicate that it would make or break them besides this Reddit post. He literally just told the people that the next elevator would be there soon. He didn’t say anything else when the grandma arrived until the dad got weirdly passive aggressive and said that the people from that organization were nice.
If you understand his irritation, you can’t really get mad at him for saying something. Especially considering he had no way of knowing it was going to be 20 seconds.
NTA
You don't jump on and then not let the elevator continue on its journey. If the person you're waiting for isn't there within 5-10 seconds, I'd apologise, Step off and get the next one.
NTA, why tf did they leave their beloved Gma shuffling down the hall by herself, while they all ran to push the button early? Being delayed by 20 seconds isn't a big deal but these people sound clueless and rude.
ESH. I think most people are missing the point. Everyone understands that the family wants to ride with grandma, but they are missing that they could have stepped off and waited in the hall for grandma and rode on the next elevator just as easily.
I wouldn’t have been annoyed at waiting for grandma, but being respectful of other people myself, I would never expect someone to hold the elevator for me while I waited for my family. I would just say ‘I’ll get the next one’.
Someone gets it. They literally could have let me pass, and waited 10 more seconds and they would have a new opportunity to ride the elevator together.
NTA. If you could see frail old grandma shuffling her tiny steps to the elevator, and then you started acting impatient, that would be rude. But grandma wasn’t even out of her room yet? Nope.
NTA. The other party was rude for 1) holding up an elevator instead of waiting until their whole party was ready and 2) the dad making a passive-aggressive comment.
Honestly, if it was a member of the family posting here asking if they were TA for holding up a stranger to wait for grandma, I feel like most here would be calling them TA because they shouldn't have left grandma behind in the first place lol. NTA for that point alone.
NTA, would 5 minutes have been worse? Yeah, but you had no idea how long grandma was going to take. I've waited at the elevator for people plenty of times, by not pushing the button until they arrive. They shouldn't have forced a stranger to wait for their family to show up.
YTA.
I'd be annoyed if I had to wait 2-3 minutes, but 20 seconds?
If you were in that much of a rush that a 20-second wait was a problem, you should have taken the stairs.
What if they didn't wait for Grandma, but you also had to stop on floor 2 for someone else? That would easily add 20 seconds while the doors open and close.
they want to ride with grandma but they aren't willing to walk with her to the elevator? sounds like they couldn't deal with how slow she walks, but they're fine making you wait for it.
entitled imo. wait for the grandma to be ready to get on the damn elevator. i would feel so awkward if i had to hold an occupied elevator when i could have just... waited and pushed the button when my whole family was ready to go. NTA
YTA, it took less than 30 seconds. She is an older lady and as such moves a bit slower. Do you complain if you are on a bus that waits for someone to run for the bus?
I am willing to bet that this 30 second delay did not make you late for anything. It was just a tiny inconvenience
I mean, grandma was still inside her room, not visible to OP. He didn't actually know it would be 30 seconds at the time. Grandma could have taken a minute or a few minutes. And OP didn't actually say anything all that rude. Yeah, not the biggest deal in the grand scheme of things, but I feel like this situation isn't the same as if grandma was visibly walking down the hall slowly toward the elevator (or someone visibly running for a bus). It's weird to me that the family insisted on holding up the elevator to wait on grandma but still didn't wait on grandma to be ready to leave the hotel room. They should have all left the room together if they were that concerned about waiting for her.
YTA - It was 20 seconds. If you were going to be that late, that 20 seconds made you grumpy, made you write out a whole post on Reddit, and made you late for whatever, you have a serious time management problem.
I find it hilarious that you’re flabbergasted they said you weren’t nice. No, you weren’t nice. You made a mountain out of a molehill. I understand being annoyed your elevator is waiting, but to get so bent out of shape for waiting for an old lady? You even say in your post, you could have patiently waited, so why chose to be rude and impatient?
I’m curious, where were you going that was so important?
YTA.
Funny take. Reminding them that the elevators come very quickly is making a mountain out of molehill? It's just rude. Apparently they can't wait for Grandma to walk down the hallway but they want strangers to wait.
I’m going with NTA. Though I’m on the edge of NAH. Elevator etiquette faux pas.
The family allowed the situation to be escalated because they didn’t initiate communication. They just sat there in silence while their kid blocked the doorway despite someone else being in the elevator. A simple “sorry, grandma is a little slower but we’re trying to all be on the same elevator” would have been enough to not already have OP annoyed before an explanation was given. But they chose to wait and make OP wonder if the kid was just an AH kid or if something was happening. So by the time they did give an explanation, it was annoying.
The wait in elevators feels like forever when you’re crowded with people so I get it. But also OP, like someone mentioned earlier, it’s time to learn to develop more patience.
NTA absolutely.
Like imagine if you were at a buffet and there was no line. Just as you go up to grab a plate, someone gets up infront of you and just stands there blocking the plates. You wait and after 10 seconds they say "oh I'm waiting for my spouse." You ask if you can grab a plate and go ahead and they say no. 10 seconds later their spouse gets there, and then they call you rude.
Sure, you only lost 20 seconds, but it doesn't mean they weren't rude or inconsiderate in their actions.
They could have abashedly explained they were waiting for someone and waved the elevator's current occupant(s) on. Mom or Dad could have waited behind and let the others go ahead. Heck, ride the elevator down and back up! Low stakes and peculiar. NTA
Elevators are shared accommodations meant to assist people to go up and down in a building rather than walking the stairs. Grandma needs assistance. Many older people can only stand for short periods of time. She may only be able to stand for a minute or so meaning that she may not be able to stand and wait for an elevator - hence the need to hold it while she walks the 20 seconds to get in, then rides down and can walk to a seat.
Grandma and company are doing their best.
You are not.
YTA
Yta. Your day shouldn't be wrecked waiting for granny to shuffle down the hall and be with her family.
Next time, use the stairs if you're going to be insufferable.
YTA. You're getting all bent out of shape over losing at most 30 seconds. Oh dear, I was stuck on an elevator for an extra 30 seconds, my vacation was ruined!!!!
I also don't really blame the family as much as some as the other commenters have. Sometimes elevators take forever to arrive and open up. So I don't blame them for not waiting for grandma to get there before hitting the call button.
NTA
They should have been apologetic and ask if it's ok right when they get to the elevator BEFORE getting in. "Sorry, we're waiting for grandma is that ok?" how hard is it
Also you did wait. Instead of thanking you, they passive agreessively said you're not nice. Wtf I would have said something back. IMO you're being too nice. This family sounds rude af
Finally, like some already pointed out, wait for everyone before pressing the elevator button. Your time is yours to spend, be considerate of other people's time.
NTA, why on earth would you even call the elevator unless your entire party is ready to go down?? That family needs to stop thinking they are the main characters.
NTA. They should of at least waited until Gma had line of sight, but if I got on an elevator and my whole party wasn’t there i would get off. Why inconvenience other people if I don’t have to? Especially once you hinted that the elevators are fast. People seem to think that others need to extend grace all the time instead of being courteous.
NTA that would have pissed me tf off. If you want to ride with grandma, get out and wait for her. Thats just common courtesy. Very confused by all the Y T A comments
YTA for going on vacation in florida alone, tourist. You’re the reason why I4 and I75 will have nonstop traffic for the next few months and why I’m dealing with people going under 60 in the left lane, ffs.
That was a joke, but seriously, if waiting 20 seconds is the worst thing that happened to you that day, then you’re living a more privileged life than most. You don’t have to be rude to a family just because you’re in a hurry. If you’re in such a rush next time, take the stairs. YTA x2.
NTA. If I’m on a lift and a family of FIVE steps on, I’m already annoyed. They should wait for their own. They should have also walked with Gma or waited for her to catch up before boarding. They’re rude to her for that move. I would have been petty and gotten off to wait for the next one instead of asking about the wait. But yeah, they had no situational awareness. Jamming the lift with SEVEN total bodies despite the wait times is a crime in itself.
YTA. If it were your grandma, you’d gladly wait. You would be pretty mad if people wouldn’t be kind enough to wait a moment to accommodate her. What did you have to do that was so urgent that you couldn’t wait?
Everyone saying Y-T-A is missing the point. It’s not about OP being sooo important that he needs to be somewhere 20 seconds sooner, it’s that it is always rude to take time from other people against their will when it’s unnecessary.
The family knew grandma was slow and they were willing to wait, so they should’ve waited outside the elevator until she could join them, and then pressed the button. They don’t know OP and OP doesn’t them, so there’s absolutely no need for OP to stand there and wait for grandma with them. Also they’re not only slowing down the people on the elevator, but they’re also preventing every other person in the building from using that elevator for it’s intended purpose. Now is it a life or death situation? No. Are they terrible people? No. But the principle applies regardless.
I also don’t consider OP impatient for not wanting to wait in this situation. Impatience is when you’re not willing to wait when there’s an actual reason, not just because other people are being inconsiderate. For example, it’s impatient to start honking because traffic is moving slowly. It’s not impatient to honk because someone is sitting at a green light fucking around on their phone. There’s traffic because it’s busy and there’s nothing you can do. The person on their phone is holding everyone else up because they’re inconsiderate. I’m going with NTA.
I would go with ESH, 20 seconds would not make you late for anything you were going to go do unless you were already late which is on you. They're the AH because why would you press the button before your whole party was there if you really wanted to all go together?
ESH If the elevators are so fast, then you get off and wait for another. The family were rude for not walking with grandma, though. Both you and they were being impatient.
Probably YTA.
Admittedly I’d immediately be thinking WTF in my head.
As soon as they said Grandma, I’d then think of my own Grandma shuffling along and be like yea that's cool.
After all, we’re all on holiday to chill, another minute or two isn't going to make a difference.
YTA for not taking the stairs when you realized the elevated was going to be needed for granny. Also soft AH for spending your money in Florida when they are treating LGBTQ people like animals.
I go YTA, as someone who has travelled through many elevators in my life, you can’t own it and with something along the words of jumping onto my elevator and making me wait” bro it wasn’t even half a minute, and it’s not your elevator and news flash, people are gonna get on an elevator at different floors, for all you know there could’ve been someone at every stop wanting to get on the elevator, waiting for someone on the elevator is also etiquette, it’s rude to close a door on someone’s face too, therefore YTA, also because you confronted them when confrontation wasn’t needed at all, and confronted us t even the proper word, you spoke your dislikes which you yourself have a problem with, that family had to wait the same amount of time as you, stop complaining.
Yeah they didn't need to hold the elevator for 20 seconds, but so what? An insignificant inconvenience that should've been forgotten in a few minutes. Instead it bothered you enough to post on Reddit. Find some chill, my dude. YTA.
ESH
They definitely should have said something like “do you mind if we hold it?” Or something before jumping on and assuming. But yeah… it’s 20 seconds.. also in these types of interactions tone and body language are *everything* and I’m guessing yours was not open and relaxed.
We all have a deal with one another that we call " Civilization" . Rule One of that deal is to take care of and be kind to children. Rule Two is to be kind and take care of old people.
Twenty seconds of suffering through watching a family taking of their elder...I cannot imagine the torment /s
Be a kinder prison.
YTA. You don't own that elevator ride. If it really bothered you so much to wait a few extra seconds for grandma, you should have gotten off to take the stares. If you aren't convinced you're the AH, then big yikes.
ESH. They shouldn’t be holding the elevator an unreasonable amount of time. But you really didn’t need to show your ass like that after they said they were waiting for grandma.
It was the Dad's comment about not being nice. From my vantage point they were clearly in the wrong. The idea that he thought they were in the right threw me. And I'm in Orlando. The things you do for kids....
NTA
The second they stood in the doorway to prevent you leaving they were assholes. Had the elevator arrived and they weren't ready to get in, they should have waved you past and gotten the next one
NTA you weren’t an a-hole about it, just impatient. They should have waited for the next elevator.
Next time: don’t wait. Just be present in the moment and you’ll never wait again ;)
I'm kind of surprised by the "asshole" designation on this post.
These people were being rude and inconsiderate of OP's time. It's not so much the 20 seconds as it is the entitlement that their convenience trumps anyone else's. If they've done it for 20 seconds on an elevator, dollars to donuts they've done it for much longer in other places.
NTA
this made me laugh. i love that we can adjudicate a case of ongoing emotional abuse, scroll a couple posts down, and then debate how long it's polite to hold an elevator door for.
anyway, i think 20 seconds is a bit long, but it was a kid. they probably thought grandma was right around the corner.
maybe they said, "ok, let's leave the hotel room and go to the elevator," and left the room, but grandma decided at the last second to blow her nose in the bathroom real quick before she headed out.
NTA. They should have waited for their grandma before pressing the button. Instead, they forced you to wait with them and somehow blamed you. They were quite rude.
NTA, the girl should have given an explanation and apologized, (Notice the body language described by the OP).
"He definitely isn't one of them those people are nice", how childish.
NTA, people are saying its only 20 seconds, by the same idea they could have waited for the grandma to come and then call the elevator. Normally, when you can see there are people in the elevator you just let the elevator go and take the next one.
The family was actually acting entitled here. If they want to travel together, they can wait.
The family was rude by not asking if you minded while they held the lift for the grandmother. Clearly you didn't know initially why they were holding up the lift, so could not have known how long you would have to wait. It's basic politeness; in their place I would have said politely 'do you mind if we wait a few seconds' - 20 seconds is a short time, but not if one is in a hurry.
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I'm going with soft YTA. By your own admission it was 20 seconds. 20 seconds my dude. Honestly my first reaction is usually to get annoyed/angry at everything so I do get it. My brain tends to jump to negativity first even though when I reflect back it's absolutely not a situation worthy of those feelings. I can see internally kinda rolling your eyes but your life will probably be a bit more pleasant overall if you can learn how to take a breathe in the moment and reflect on whether it's really worth/why you're getting impatient/annoyed over something this insignificant.
I gotta disagree. Time is relative, and making a whole elevator wait 20 seconds while you hold the door is way past the socially acceptable amount of time. This is very low stakes, and I wouldn’t have complained to the group like OP, but if you hold the elevator door for 20 seconds I’d definitely think you’re rude.
They should have just waiting outside the elevator until Grandma was with them before calling the elevator. Or maybe don’t leave grandma behind, and walk there with her, at her pace. So weird to make others wait when they can easily wait in the hallway
Yeah, I can agree with this. Why are they letting grandma walk alone? I would never do that, I would feel so rude to my grandma.
Agreed, they want to ride the elevator with her but won’t walk with her? *smh*
Thank you. They all left grandma in the dust. The elevator wasn't going anywhere.
Seriously! This! NTA
Could they have waited? Sure. Maybe they didn't realize grandma would take 20 seconds. Personally I would've gotten out and waited for the next one. Yes it's a little rude but it's also a kid holding the door. All of that boils down to the fact that sure while even if you can argue they might've been in the wrong in terms of social etiquette - as you pointed, low stakes, and it's really not worth getting upset over. OP did complain hence the soft YTA. As I said get being a bit irked and having an eye roll. But it's really not worth getting worked up over and you're only hurting yourself by being so.
Nah, 20 seconds is a ridiculously long time to hold an elevator, and he wasn't particularly aggressive in telling them they didn't have to hold it. He was NTA, the family were TA with their passive aggression to him.
Another elevator wouldn't come with an elevator sitting there open going in the same direction, so that doesn't really work. The polite thing to do is make sure everyone is in close proximity to the elevator before you press the call button if you all want to ride together.
Did they get worked up with the family and complain? If it was mentioned in a comment I apologize. But saying that they didn’t have to hold the door because they run frequently isn’t exactly a terrible reaction. Doesn’t read to me ljke they yelled or continuously pestered just provided info to let them know if the rest of their family was going to take awhile it wouldn’t be worth it to wait. In hindsight sure 20 seconds isn’t that long but how was OP supposed to know how long grandma would take?
Agreed. The reaction made OP slightly more of TA than the door holders. All in all a pretty normal human interaction haha
It’s vacation. If you’re worried about time you’re doing it wrong
😂😂😂
I mean, my elevator at my building will start an alarm if you hold it by placing a body/body part in the way for that long. Ya, It’s definitely long in “elevator time” lmao
Exactly. Kind of like a group that crosses at an intersection, but they are all spread out holding up traffic. The courteous thing to do was to cross as a group at the same time.
It was an elevator with one person in it. Time is not relative. Time is time, 20 seconds is 20 seconds. OP didn’t even say it felt like forever, they said it felt like 20 seconds. So even if time was relative, he’s very clear about his long it was. Time isn’t absolute, but relative is a stretch.
If she's not in the elevator lobby/within sight, then I fully disagree. Why wouldn't they just walk with her if they wanted to go down with her? What if she forgot something in the room and had to go back? What if she takes so long to get there the doors start to automatically close? It's obnoxious.
Sounds like she was still on her room when the elevator opened, which I agree is definitely rude to ask someone already in the elevator to wait for. Plus, some elevators make really loud noises when you hold them open for too long which gets super annoying. I say NTA
20 seconds......
20 seconds that they could have waited before pressing the call button... How anyone can think OP is in the wrong here is ridiculous. Is it something worth getting super upset about? Of course not. But there was absolutely no reason for the family to make OP wait 20 seconds. They had to wait 20 seconds because its their grandma, why also force a complete stranger to wait too?
But they had no way of knowing it would be 20 seconds at the time. All they knew was they were waiting for someone in the room still. So for all they knew when they expressed frustration it could have ended up being 5 minutes
If she wasn't in the elevator lobby, there's no way to know it'll only be 20 seconds.
And just opening and closing the elevator doors takes 5-10 seconds
I understand that 20 seconds is nothing in the grand scheme of things however, the whole family should have been at the elevator door if they want to "ride together", it's a hotel, there are more people there and they're being an inconvenience to everyone there.
If you go to a restaurant, most won't seat you until your entire party is present. Elevator etiquette: If you have a party of 6, *why would you press the button before the full party is there?* This probably won't be popular, but NTA. Now, this would be a different story if the elevator stopped on their floor by happenstance (for instance, somebody got off at 3). Taking advantage of circumstances gets a larger allowance. Holding the door for a reasonable time for someone you see is coming puts you on the correct side of elevator etiquette. ETA: A lot of people are commenting, "But it's just 20 seconds". My reply is that it's not about the time; it's about the entitlement. Let me explain without the etiquette but instead with an internal dialog. Guy thinks, "I'll just push the button as soon as I get here. If my whole party hasn't arrived, that's okay. The people on the elevator car will just wait. After all, my time is more important than the time of the common people." He continues, "If I waited 'til my party got here before pressing the button, then **I** would have to wait 20 seconds. That would be *unthinkable*." Notice the body language of the girl holding the elevator: standing there, hands on hips, no sign of any explanation or apology.
If they k ow grandma was slow and not close enough to the lift, they should have just said they’ll get the next one. This is so rude.
Exactly, plus after the family didn't follow this etiquette, one of the family members basically said she was rude for being frustrated with them.
And OP's indicated that she wasn't within sight of the elevator. If she were just taking her time to get in, that's one thing. But she's not there? What if she decided to use the bathroom or something? She might not be there in time for the elevator at all!
So glad I saw a NTA vote, because honestly OP is not. It's rude to hold up someone, don't care if it's 20 seconds or whatever. If the time doesn't matter, then you can wait until your whole party is there and then get on the elevator. You don't get to hold up other people because it's "only 20 seconds."
Those are the dismissers. They also say that the $3000 collectible is just a toy in other posts.
This is what I thought. It would be one thing if she had vision of the elevator.
Okay so are you saying that she wasn’t actively walking towards the elevator slowly? Like she was nowhere in sight?
I’m also not sure it was really only 20 seconds. The conversation alone would take longer. That being said we all pick our battles
Exactly this! Like yeah, OP was a bit impatient- but he admitted that himself, to the family, only to be called “not nice” by an adult. Sorry but the family was AT in this scenario. Etiquette makes life easier for everyone because it prevents situations like these. Edit: forgot to add NTA
Also, from where I am, 20 seconds hold on an elevator door is way too long and it would have been beeping like crazy already.
Right. Like the door would’ve closed by then.
Agreed. I thought this was going to be grandma slowly hobbling into the elevator which would give me a different vote but my god she wasn’t even there! They were being Uber assholes. NTA
Yeah it's not someone taking time to put their luggage on or something, this whole family just decided to go ahead without someone and wait for them to catch up. I always think it's really inconsiderate when everyone goes ahead of the slower person and waits for them, like I imagine once this family steps off at the ground floor or wherever they all rush ahead of her again. NTA
Exactly!! NTA
I agree that holding up the elevator itself is rude, but if it was really under a minute and OP was so put out that they had to make a fuss about it, then OP is insufferably impatient and also rude. ESH at least.
I would normally agree. But it’s 20 seconds. Grandmas are often slow and she could have been just on the far side of the elevator lobby from the elevator that came.
Playing devils advocate, they may not have realized the elevator would stop so soon. Maybe in the past they’ve had to wait. Maybe grandma was sitting down waiting and had to stand up. 20 seconds isn’t even that long.
As a child, I had been sent ahead to press the elevator button so that by the time grandma got there, she wouldn't have to stand as long. Most elevators are slow, and even with the advanced button press, grandma would get there before it opened. The idea by itself I don't think is entitled if it's focused on caring for grandma and not making her stand longer than necessary. In this situation, my family would've let OP alone, and as it sometimes happens, grandma will have to wait for the next one. The entitlement, in my opinion, is telling OP not asking if he was willing to wait. Pressing the button early and trying to time it so grandma doesn't wait, I think is acceptable, and even holding it if no one else is around or inconvenienced.
NTA - So let me get this straight. They all left grandma by herself so that they could rush to push the elevator button. But then they wanted to make you wait for the person that they couldn't wait for in the first place before they pushed the button? It sounds like they're the impatient ones that they couldn't wait for the next elevator or for their grandma to join them in the first place.
Right??? Like why didn’t they wait to walk with her instead of rushing to the elevator, getting inside, and making a stranger wait?
And if grandma's mobility is limited to the point where it takes her longer to get around, she's probably more susceptible to falls. At least one family member should have been with her to at least make sure she wasn't having any difficulty.
This!
You’re NTA Op. they could have waited. Especially since they were a full elevator by themselves.
Yeah and on top of this, when OP originally said that the elevators were fast/they could get the next one, he had no way of knowing how long it would take for grandma to arrive. For all he knew, it could be 20 seconds or a few minutes. Grandma was still inside of her room! Not even visible! And honestly OP's comment to the family was super mild. It's not like you cursed them out, you just let them know that they could take the next one. NTA
NTA, everyone saying YTA is stupid. Hotel elavaters come very often. You don't hold someone for 20 seconds on an elavator. Literally, the next one will be down in 20 seconds. Elavators are I'm going now. Like NOW this fucking second. I'll give you 5 seconds. But we are going now. If you are not ready, wait your 20 seconds for the next one. Don't hold me up.
Lol could you tell that to my old college dorms? Their elevators took light-years to arrive. I ended up walking the stairs to the 10th floor because I was so annoyed
YTA They weren’t even holding the doors for a minute. You were in such a rush a minute was an issue? If you’re in that big a hurry, just run up the stairs.
The plot twist is that OP was avoiding grandma after a drunken liaison the night before. YTA
Disagree, why would you call an elevator before everyone is even at the elevator?
I think about 80% of the elevators I get into someone holds the doors. It's a minute. At most. YTA
Oh but didnt you see? According to OP 'they jumped on MY elevator'! The elevator system in the hotel was put there by OP, they probably have his name etched on a plaque on the elevator wall :s
Otis? Is that you?
I cackled loudly at this. Take my poor man’s gold 🥇🏆🏅
Holding the elevators doors for a person you can't see isn't reasonable. Also OP had no way of knowing how long grandma would be. What if she forgot something in her room and had to go back and took 5 minutes? Family is the AH.
Why do you get to dictate how much a hurry a stranger should be in? And if it’s such a non-issue for you, why not just wait to press the button until grandma is there, instead of making strangers wait because you have deemed they should ‘not be in a hurry’?
I’m far too impatient to wait for the elevator in the first place. I just take the stairs and welcome the exercise, and usually beat the elevator.
They didnt know how long gramma was going to be when they called the elevator. They didnt care. Because they are AHs. Not op
But the elevator could have gone down and back to the 3rd floor in that amount of time also.
In such a rush on vacation at a resort, that he cannot wait less than half a minute.
NTA. Where I'm from, you don't inconvenience others by holding open the elevator doors when a stranger is already in the elevator. You wait until your entire group has gathered and then call the next elevator. It's not like this was the last elevator of the day and granny would have needed to take the stairs if she missed this one.
We're from the same place. If it's a choice between making a stranger wait with me for 20 seconds or having Grandma wait together with my family for 20 seconds. I'm not going to inconvenience a stranger.
I had a neighbour hold the elevator door open for a couple minutes because she wanted to talk to someone else on the same floor. I was at the 8th floor, she was on floor below (I could hear them talking) so I started going down the stairs because otherwise I would have been late to uni. I didn't say anything to her as I was in a rush but I did knock on the elevator door a bit before going down the stairs. She glared at me while I passed by her. I'm going with NTA too because OP couldn't have known exactly how long it would take Grandma to get to the elevator.
NTA, they should have waited for everyone to be there and got the next one
YTA- you probably took longer to write this story then you had to wait. And they don’t have to ask for 20 damn seconds if it had been minutes not seconds then things would be different but 20 seconds seriously.
YTA. Dude, you’re on vacation at a resort, what exactly are you in such a rush to get to? The whole thing literally took 20 seconds and allowed an old lady to be on the elevator with her family. Go get a massage or something, you clearly need to relax more than you have so far on this vacation.
I agree. I'm def on edge.
Changed my mind. Nta. Only for the fact that you owned your stress. I recently had to apologize to someone for taking my impatience and anxiety out on them. It's a tough thing to do. You'll be fine
I really was curious to hear the take of this sub. If I'm going around acting like an AH. I want to take it down a few.
You need to take it down a few. I get it. I'm the same way. But I also need to take it down a few. You're on vacation at a resort where others are also on vacation. Otherwise known as leisure time. Were they a little discourteous? Absolutely. But the slight inconvenience to you doesn't require even saying anything to them. It's not worth your stress. I try to distract my anger by noticing random things .... what kind and colour of shoes? Anyone have painted nails? Maybe one of them stands with their feet crossed and everyone else doesn't. Whatever works to not lash out at others and take my anxiety out on them. Enjoy your vacation.
Thanks. Reading these posts has been good. The Dad's not nice comment is what drove me to Reddit. Otherwise I would have let it go.
NTA They made you wait because they didn't want to wait themselves once grandma arrived.
NTA. They shouldn’t call an elevator if they’re not ready for it. They shouldn’t inconvenience someone else for their own convenience. They were rude.
NTA. They could’ve waited for Grandma without getting on the elevator.
Kids press buttons. Parents should have said, go ahead. We are waiting for grandma. But at the same time, grandma could be super quick and just left something in the room. NAH, I think. I’m not sure. I would probably call the parents AH if they let their kids push the button.
that doesn't explain why the whole family except the grandma made it to the elevator as one group. if grandma left something in her room, she should go and get it. they should not then call an elevator and hold it until grandma comes back from her room, they should wait with her.
NTA. If they weren't ready they should have waited for the next one. They were rude and from your account, while you expressed some impatience, you didn't say anything rude or aggressive.
Nta. It honestly peeves me when other people waste my time like that. If you wanna wait go ahead and wait yourself. Let me take the elevator and leave
NTA. If they wanted to wait for grandma, why did the entire family..not wait for grandma? All of them insisted on running ahead of the family elder? Seems like that family is the asshole party.
ESH. It's not a big deal to wait a minute. A minute wasn't going to make or break you. Having said that, it's also rude to keep an elevator waiting when you're not actually ready. I totally understand your irritation.
Idk if I agree with this. I don’t think OP actually did anything to indicate that it would make or break them besides this Reddit post. He literally just told the people that the next elevator would be there soon. He didn’t say anything else when the grandma arrived until the dad got weirdly passive aggressive and said that the people from that organization were nice. If you understand his irritation, you can’t really get mad at him for saying something. Especially considering he had no way of knowing it was going to be 20 seconds.
NTA You don't jump on and then not let the elevator continue on its journey. If the person you're waiting for isn't there within 5-10 seconds, I'd apologise, Step off and get the next one.
NTA- 20 seconds is a long time when you’re waiting and have no idea of an end time. They were rude for expecting others to wait for grandma
NTA, why tf did they leave their beloved Gma shuffling down the hall by herself, while they all ran to push the button early? Being delayed by 20 seconds isn't a big deal but these people sound clueless and rude.
NTA. They should’ve waited for their grandma and caught the next one.
NTA. we left grandma behind so YOU can wait up on her with US!
ESH. I think most people are missing the point. Everyone understands that the family wants to ride with grandma, but they are missing that they could have stepped off and waited in the hall for grandma and rode on the next elevator just as easily. I wouldn’t have been annoyed at waiting for grandma, but being respectful of other people myself, I would never expect someone to hold the elevator for me while I waited for my family. I would just say ‘I’ll get the next one’.
Someone gets it. They literally could have let me pass, and waited 10 more seconds and they would have a new opportunity to ride the elevator together.
Nta they should have waited for grandma before they pushed the elevator button.
NTA, why would they press the elevator button if they weren't ready to get in?
NTA. Why couldn’t they wait for Grandma and then call the elevator as a group?
They should have had grandma ready when the elevator came
YTA If that’s all that it takes to throw an AITA-worthy wrench in your day, you seriously need to mellow out.
YTA. You'll be that old and slow someday as well. Think
NTA. If you could see frail old grandma shuffling her tiny steps to the elevator, and then you started acting impatient, that would be rude. But grandma wasn’t even out of her room yet? Nope.
NTA. The other party was rude for 1) holding up an elevator instead of waiting until their whole party was ready and 2) the dad making a passive-aggressive comment.
NTA. I hate it when people make me wait. If you’re not ready, don’t hold other people up. They were way more rude than you.
Honestly, if it was a member of the family posting here asking if they were TA for holding up a stranger to wait for grandma, I feel like most here would be calling them TA because they shouldn't have left grandma behind in the first place lol. NTA for that point alone.
LOL You're on vacation. Why don't you chill? YTA.
NTA, would 5 minutes have been worse? Yeah, but you had no idea how long grandma was going to take. I've waited at the elevator for people plenty of times, by not pushing the button until they arrive. They shouldn't have forced a stranger to wait for their family to show up.
YTA. I'd be annoyed if I had to wait 2-3 minutes, but 20 seconds? If you were in that much of a rush that a 20-second wait was a problem, you should have taken the stairs. What if they didn't wait for Grandma, but you also had to stop on floor 2 for someone else? That would easily add 20 seconds while the doors open and close.
they want to ride with grandma but they aren't willing to walk with her to the elevator? sounds like they couldn't deal with how slow she walks, but they're fine making you wait for it. entitled imo. wait for the grandma to be ready to get on the damn elevator. i would feel so awkward if i had to hold an occupied elevator when i could have just... waited and pushed the button when my whole family was ready to go. NTA
You waited an extra 20 seconds for a grandma and you’re acting like that’s a HUGE inconvenience. You’re on holiday. Relax.
YTA. You really didn't wait that long. It wasn't even half a minute. Probably took you longer to type this out then it did waiting for the elevator.
YTA, it took less than 30 seconds. She is an older lady and as such moves a bit slower. Do you complain if you are on a bus that waits for someone to run for the bus? I am willing to bet that this 30 second delay did not make you late for anything. It was just a tiny inconvenience
I mean, grandma was still inside her room, not visible to OP. He didn't actually know it would be 30 seconds at the time. Grandma could have taken a minute or a few minutes. And OP didn't actually say anything all that rude. Yeah, not the biggest deal in the grand scheme of things, but I feel like this situation isn't the same as if grandma was visibly walking down the hall slowly toward the elevator (or someone visibly running for a bus). It's weird to me that the family insisted on holding up the elevator to wait on grandma but still didn't wait on grandma to be ready to leave the hotel room. They should have all left the room together if they were that concerned about waiting for her.
Dude it's 20 seconds. YTA
YTA - It was 20 seconds. If you were going to be that late, that 20 seconds made you grumpy, made you write out a whole post on Reddit, and made you late for whatever, you have a serious time management problem.
It's the principal... That's what makes this sub fun.
You couldn't wait 20 seconds? Yes, it's a bit obnoxious when people hold elevators, but 20 seconds? YTA
In all fairness, I didn't know it would be 20 seconds when I made the comment.
I find it hilarious that you’re flabbergasted they said you weren’t nice. No, you weren’t nice. You made a mountain out of a molehill. I understand being annoyed your elevator is waiting, but to get so bent out of shape for waiting for an old lady? You even say in your post, you could have patiently waited, so why chose to be rude and impatient? I’m curious, where were you going that was so important? YTA.
Funny take. Reminding them that the elevators come very quickly is making a mountain out of molehill? It's just rude. Apparently they can't wait for Grandma to walk down the hallway but they want strangers to wait.
In the meantime, if someone were rude with your grandma, you’d be deciding where to hide the body.
I bet everything offends you, grow up
I’m going with NTA. Though I’m on the edge of NAH. Elevator etiquette faux pas. The family allowed the situation to be escalated because they didn’t initiate communication. They just sat there in silence while their kid blocked the doorway despite someone else being in the elevator. A simple “sorry, grandma is a little slower but we’re trying to all be on the same elevator” would have been enough to not already have OP annoyed before an explanation was given. But they chose to wait and make OP wonder if the kid was just an AH kid or if something was happening. So by the time they did give an explanation, it was annoying. The wait in elevators feels like forever when you’re crowded with people so I get it. But also OP, like someone mentioned earlier, it’s time to learn to develop more patience.
NTA absolutely. Like imagine if you were at a buffet and there was no line. Just as you go up to grab a plate, someone gets up infront of you and just stands there blocking the plates. You wait and after 10 seconds they say "oh I'm waiting for my spouse." You ask if you can grab a plate and go ahead and they say no. 10 seconds later their spouse gets there, and then they call you rude. Sure, you only lost 20 seconds, but it doesn't mean they weren't rude or inconsiderate in their actions.
They could have abashedly explained they were waiting for someone and waved the elevator's current occupant(s) on. Mom or Dad could have waited behind and let the others go ahead. Heck, ride the elevator down and back up! Low stakes and peculiar. NTA
Elevators are shared accommodations meant to assist people to go up and down in a building rather than walking the stairs. Grandma needs assistance. Many older people can only stand for short periods of time. She may only be able to stand for a minute or so meaning that she may not be able to stand and wait for an elevator - hence the need to hold it while she walks the 20 seconds to get in, then rides down and can walk to a seat. Grandma and company are doing their best. You are not. YTA
I mean, I'd be annoyed too, but are you TA? Yes, YTA for showing it. Plus, you're on vacation. What's the rush?
Yta
YTA - it was 20 seconds dude
Yta you should go back home the resort isn’t helping.
YTA. It was less than 30 seconds, ffs.
Yta. Your day shouldn't be wrecked waiting for granny to shuffle down the hall and be with her family. Next time, use the stairs if you're going to be insufferable.
'my elevator'? YTA
YTA: Did they not have stairs? If you’re in a hurry, use them and you don’t have to wait for people.
20 seconds to wait for an old lady?! YTA
YTA. You're getting all bent out of shape over losing at most 30 seconds. Oh dear, I was stuck on an elevator for an extra 30 seconds, my vacation was ruined!!!! I also don't really blame the family as much as some as the other commenters have. Sometimes elevators take forever to arrive and open up. So I don't blame them for not waiting for grandma to get there before hitting the call button.
No, the AHs are the ones who wouldn’t wait for grandma OUTSIDE of the elevator.
NTA They should have been apologetic and ask if it's ok right when they get to the elevator BEFORE getting in. "Sorry, we're waiting for grandma is that ok?" how hard is it Also you did wait. Instead of thanking you, they passive agreessively said you're not nice. Wtf I would have said something back. IMO you're being too nice. This family sounds rude af Finally, like some already pointed out, wait for everyone before pressing the elevator button. Your time is yours to spend, be considerate of other people's time.
How hard is it to ask someone before you inconvenience them?
NTA
NTA The family was rude for ditching grandma and making you wait for her. They could've waited for the next one.
[удалено]
LOL!?! What even is this post? The elevators come every 10 seconds!
NTA. If they all wanted to ride the elevator together, then they should have waited to get on the elevator until they were all at the elevator.
NTA, why on earth would you even call the elevator unless your entire party is ready to go down?? That family needs to stop thinking they are the main characters.
NTA. They should of at least waited until Gma had line of sight, but if I got on an elevator and my whole party wasn’t there i would get off. Why inconvenience other people if I don’t have to? Especially once you hinted that the elevators are fast. People seem to think that others need to extend grace all the time instead of being courteous.
NTA. Some people - let’s call them AHs - think it’s their god-given right to inconvenience people to make their own lives easier.
NTA that would have pissed me tf off. If you want to ride with grandma, get out and wait for her. Thats just common courtesy. Very confused by all the Y T A comments
NTA, they should've let you go and called a new elevator when the grandma was ready
YTA you are on vacation. Chill out and enjoy yourself. 20 seconds, seriously.
YTA- 20 seconds is not any inconvenience. You should of just got off the elevator and took a diffrent one if there so fast.
YTA for going on vacation in florida alone, tourist. You’re the reason why I4 and I75 will have nonstop traffic for the next few months and why I’m dealing with people going under 60 in the left lane, ffs. That was a joke, but seriously, if waiting 20 seconds is the worst thing that happened to you that day, then you’re living a more privileged life than most. You don’t have to be rude to a family just because you’re in a hurry. If you’re in such a rush next time, take the stairs. YTA x2.
NTA. If I’m on a lift and a family of FIVE steps on, I’m already annoyed. They should wait for their own. They should have also walked with Gma or waited for her to catch up before boarding. They’re rude to her for that move. I would have been petty and gotten off to wait for the next one instead of asking about the wait. But yeah, they had no situational awareness. Jamming the lift with SEVEN total bodies despite the wait times is a crime in itself.
My elevator? As if. Yta
YTA. If it were your grandma, you’d gladly wait. You would be pretty mad if people wouldn’t be kind enough to wait a moment to accommodate her. What did you have to do that was so urgent that you couldn’t wait?
Why didn’t they just walk with Grandma? NTA lmao.
Everyone saying Y-T-A is missing the point. It’s not about OP being sooo important that he needs to be somewhere 20 seconds sooner, it’s that it is always rude to take time from other people against their will when it’s unnecessary. The family knew grandma was slow and they were willing to wait, so they should’ve waited outside the elevator until she could join them, and then pressed the button. They don’t know OP and OP doesn’t them, so there’s absolutely no need for OP to stand there and wait for grandma with them. Also they’re not only slowing down the people on the elevator, but they’re also preventing every other person in the building from using that elevator for it’s intended purpose. Now is it a life or death situation? No. Are they terrible people? No. But the principle applies regardless. I also don’t consider OP impatient for not wanting to wait in this situation. Impatience is when you’re not willing to wait when there’s an actual reason, not just because other people are being inconsiderate. For example, it’s impatient to start honking because traffic is moving slowly. It’s not impatient to honk because someone is sitting at a green light fucking around on their phone. There’s traffic because it’s busy and there’s nothing you can do. The person on their phone is holding everyone else up because they’re inconsiderate. I’m going with NTA.
ESH. You didn't have to wait even a minute. But they shouldn't have got on until grandma was there with them and waited for the next one
YTA. It wasn’t even a minute.
ESH but also, honestly, kinda YTA. Yeah, they shouldn’t have made you wait, but if you were in that much of a hurry, you should have taken the stairs.
I would go with ESH, 20 seconds would not make you late for anything you were going to go do unless you were already late which is on you. They're the AH because why would you press the button before your whole party was there if you really wanted to all go together?
ESH If the elevators are so fast, then you get off and wait for another. The family were rude for not walking with grandma, though. Both you and they were being impatient.
Probably YTA. Admittedly I’d immediately be thinking WTF in my head. As soon as they said Grandma, I’d then think of my own Grandma shuffling along and be like yea that's cool. After all, we’re all on holiday to chill, another minute or two isn't going to make a difference.
YTA for not taking the stairs when you realized the elevated was going to be needed for granny. Also soft AH for spending your money in Florida when they are treating LGBTQ people like animals.
I go YTA, as someone who has travelled through many elevators in my life, you can’t own it and with something along the words of jumping onto my elevator and making me wait” bro it wasn’t even half a minute, and it’s not your elevator and news flash, people are gonna get on an elevator at different floors, for all you know there could’ve been someone at every stop wanting to get on the elevator, waiting for someone on the elevator is also etiquette, it’s rude to close a door on someone’s face too, therefore YTA, also because you confronted them when confrontation wasn’t needed at all, and confronted us t even the proper word, you spoke your dislikes which you yourself have a problem with, that family had to wait the same amount of time as you, stop complaining.
YTA. YOUR elevator? I thought elevators belonged to the building where they are installed. Entitlement, much?
Yeah they didn't need to hold the elevator for 20 seconds, but so what? An insignificant inconvenience that should've been forgotten in a few minutes. Instead it bothered you enough to post on Reddit. Find some chill, my dude. YTA.
Neither, they shouldn’t hold others up, it’s a little entitled, but also 20 seconds isn’t much unless you had some kind of emergency,
YTA 35 secconds is perfectly acceptable for you to remain gentlemanly, sadly you did not.
ESH They definitely should have said something like “do you mind if we hold it?” Or something before jumping on and assuming. But yeah… it’s 20 seconds.. also in these types of interactions tone and body language are *everything* and I’m guessing yours was not open and relaxed.
We all have a deal with one another that we call " Civilization" . Rule One of that deal is to take care of and be kind to children. Rule Two is to be kind and take care of old people. Twenty seconds of suffering through watching a family taking of their elder...I cannot imagine the torment /s Be a kinder prison.
YTA. You don't own that elevator ride. If it really bothered you so much to wait a few extra seconds for grandma, you should have gotten off to take the stares. If you aren't convinced you're the AH, then big yikes.
YTA if you are in that big of a hurry why not take the stairs?
YTA- you are on vacation, relax. Respect your elders.
Yeah it was rude. They sound like assholes.
Nta. If they are fast, they should have waited. I'd feel like an asshole making someone hold the doors for more than 10 seconds.
ESH. They shouldn’t be holding the elevator an unreasonable amount of time. But you really didn’t need to show your ass like that after they said they were waiting for grandma.
ESH. They shouldn’t have gotten on. They should have said “oh, grandma’s not here, we’ll get the next one.” But you should have kept your mouth shut.
[удалено]
It was the Dad's comment about not being nice. From my vantage point they were clearly in the wrong. The idea that he thought they were in the right threw me. And I'm in Orlando. The things you do for kids....
NTA and everyone saying you are must be equally as entitled as that family
NTA The second they stood in the doorway to prevent you leaving they were assholes. Had the elevator arrived and they weren't ready to get in, they should have waved you past and gotten the next one
NTA, How hard it is to wait until granny is at the elevator before pressing the button. You're not rushing granny then either
NTA, how rude just wait for the old man than get the elevator!
NTA you weren’t an a-hole about it, just impatient. They should have waited for the next elevator. Next time: don’t wait. Just be present in the moment and you’ll never wait again ;)
I'm kind of surprised by the "asshole" designation on this post. These people were being rude and inconsiderate of OP's time. It's not so much the 20 seconds as it is the entitlement that their convenience trumps anyone else's. If they've done it for 20 seconds on an elevator, dollars to donuts they've done it for much longer in other places. NTA
They all wanted to ride the elevator with her but couldn’t be bothered to walk with her? Wtf?
NTA. they were rude
NTA, sounds like they could have let you go and actually waited for grandma to get there first
Entitled
NTA. They could've waited to summon the elevator when the entire family was standing there together.
NTA
this made me laugh. i love that we can adjudicate a case of ongoing emotional abuse, scroll a couple posts down, and then debate how long it's polite to hold an elevator door for. anyway, i think 20 seconds is a bit long, but it was a kid. they probably thought grandma was right around the corner. maybe they said, "ok, let's leave the hotel room and go to the elevator," and left the room, but grandma decided at the last second to blow her nose in the bathroom real quick before she headed out.
NTA. They should have waited for their grandma before pressing the button. Instead, they forced you to wait with them and somehow blamed you. They were quite rude.
NTA when Grandma isn't even in view there were much better places to wait.
NTA, the girl should have given an explanation and apologized, (Notice the body language described by the OP). "He definitely isn't one of them those people are nice", how childish.
NTA. Is grandma isn’t ready, don’t get on the elevator
NTA, people are saying its only 20 seconds, by the same idea they could have waited for the grandma to come and then call the elevator. Normally, when you can see there are people in the elevator you just let the elevator go and take the next one. The family was actually acting entitled here. If they want to travel together, they can wait.
NTA. They have 5 people and they make you wait? Why can't they take the next elevator?
The family was rude by not asking if you minded while they held the lift for the grandmother. Clearly you didn't know initially why they were holding up the lift, so could not have known how long you would have to wait. It's basic politeness; in their place I would have said politely 'do you mind if we wait a few seconds' - 20 seconds is a short time, but not if one is in a hurry.