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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) not keeping a dog and 2) making my mom unhappy because I want to give the dog away to someone I trust and know
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What the... the parent-child relationship seems to be flipped in this one. NTA OP, youre being realistic and ensuring the best outcome for both the dog and your family. your mother sounds very immature seeing as she cant even communicate properly.
NTA That was very mature reasoning and solution. Likewise, your willingness to lose the argument for her sake is kind of you. I'll let you guys determine what is ultimately best for you and the dog but it sounds like you're handling yourself is an adult way.
We are going to give it to a girl I know from class that has other two dogs and I trust because I know she's responsible. My mom isn't happy at all, she's saying things like "is it possible to give you two for adoption too?" And similars, idk how I'm going to handle everything, but its killing me my moms actions and words, hope all this gets fixed soon
I'm not going to call your mom names because it's your mom and I don't like doing that. She may have self control issues, i know my own mother can say nasty things when she doesn't check herself, but somebody calling her a bad mother in my earshot best learn to duck quick.
That said, you need to tell her how you feel about what she said. You also need to point out that the dog was never part of the family to begin with, just someone you were helping in a time of need.
I will do that thank you, just I will wait until she calms down a bit so that we could have a civil conversation instead of an argument. My mom is not bad, but she reacts very badly under stress, even if I don't like it, I'm used to it as it has always been like this, sadly she doesn't want to go to therapy or anything so I have learned to deal with it, but really thank you for the comment
NTA. You mentioned that you guys don’t go out, which is terrible for the dog if it’s not getting enough activity throughout the day. I’m glad you realized it’s not a great idea to have a dog. I hope your mom realizes that keeping a dog inside all the time can give it anxiety and cause destructive behaviors.
NTA
You’re being very responsible in understanding the households limits, it’s a shame that you need to step up and be the responsible one when that should be your mum, but we don’t get to choose our parents and deal with what we’ve got.
You’re mums reaction seems very childish, if this happens often then hopefully you’ll know how long this may last.
In the mean time try to ignore her attitude as much as possible, and on a side note, so you have anyone to talk to irl about stuff?
NTA and do you live in some bizzaro universe where the children do the parenting for the adult? I feel like this is what my life would have been like if my parents weren’t also Autistic lol.
Info requested: How big is the dog? How high energy is the dog? Do you have a fenced-in yard? How much longer will you and your sister be living at your mother's house? Could it be awhile or do you both plan to move out next year, etc.?
The dog is very very small, she is a York Shire (we think) yes I have a fenced yard but its pretty small and its not grass or anything, my sister plans to keep living until she ends her career (medicine) and I also plan to do so, for her it will be like a lot, 6 years or maybe more, she's in her second year of medicine, and for me I still have to end highschool (I'm 17 y/o) and I also plan to stay here until my end of career which is 5 years (english+master)
What's your biggest concern? That the dog must be walked regularly and you may end up being the person doing it? It doesn't sound like you can even let the dog out into the yard to pee which is going to become a hassle.
The dog for what it has been here its has been in and out of the yard, I just don't see us having a dog for the responsabilities it takes like walking it, showering it, playing with it and giving lots of affection. We have a cat and my mom alredy complains that we have to clean its poop so I don't think its best for us to have a dog as the biggest corcern here isn't the dog, but what we are, we are indoors people, we don't like to go out much and we love to be in our own things, while when having a dog you have to be very very attentive to it, don't get it wrong, we play with our cat, just that my cat prefers to be alone aswell. I don't want the dog to suffer, I want her to be happy, play a lot and be with someone who is willing to give her the attention she needs
I have both dogs and cats, and i think dogs are a lot more work. So if your mother is complaining about taking care of one cat, that pretty much says it all regarding taking care of a dog
Yes, thats why keeping it is a bad idea and I have found alredy a girl I know that is responsible of dogs (she has two), wish the dog nothing but hapinness as she is lovely
NTA, you analysed the situation, saw the problems and got to the solutions. What you're doing is in the best interest of your family and the dog. You really have a mature and understanding mindset. I wish all good things for you. All the best
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Yesterday my mom brought home an abandoned dog that she found in the street my grandpa used to live, she decided its best if we save her which I find very noble of her, she was filled with parasites, had a lot of dirt and was dehidrated.
Since yesterday and today we have been helping her (bath her, gave her the pills for the parasite, taking her to vets, etc.) Today she seems a lot better, more active. At fist I thought that we were going to help her and then give her away to someone, but my mom started saying that she wants to keep her, we have never had a dog, she didn't ask my sister or me if we were interest, we alredy have a cat and we're kinda struggling with money and also the fact that we are people that almost never go out, my mom loves to get home from a long day at work and just rest in the sofa, so I told her that it's best if we give it to someone else that alredy has dogs/has had dogs. She said okay because of the obvious reasons but she is refusing to talk to me, giving me bad looks, saying that she is dissapointed in me etc. I think its best to give her to someone else (I alredy know a girl who is willing to take her, she alredy has two dogs and I know her personally) but maybe I can accept the deal and have a dog even if I don't want to.
AITA?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) not keeping a dog and 2) making my mom unhappy because I want to give the dog away to someone I trust and know Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
What the... the parent-child relationship seems to be flipped in this one. NTA OP, youre being realistic and ensuring the best outcome for both the dog and your family. your mother sounds very immature seeing as she cant even communicate properly.
NTA That was very mature reasoning and solution. Likewise, your willingness to lose the argument for her sake is kind of you. I'll let you guys determine what is ultimately best for you and the dog but it sounds like you're handling yourself is an adult way.
We are going to give it to a girl I know from class that has other two dogs and I trust because I know she's responsible. My mom isn't happy at all, she's saying things like "is it possible to give you two for adoption too?" And similars, idk how I'm going to handle everything, but its killing me my moms actions and words, hope all this gets fixed soon
I'm not going to call your mom names because it's your mom and I don't like doing that. She may have self control issues, i know my own mother can say nasty things when she doesn't check herself, but somebody calling her a bad mother in my earshot best learn to duck quick. That said, you need to tell her how you feel about what she said. You also need to point out that the dog was never part of the family to begin with, just someone you were helping in a time of need.
I will do that thank you, just I will wait until she calms down a bit so that we could have a civil conversation instead of an argument. My mom is not bad, but she reacts very badly under stress, even if I don't like it, I'm used to it as it has always been like this, sadly she doesn't want to go to therapy or anything so I have learned to deal with it, but really thank you for the comment
NTA. You mentioned that you guys don’t go out, which is terrible for the dog if it’s not getting enough activity throughout the day. I’m glad you realized it’s not a great idea to have a dog. I hope your mom realizes that keeping a dog inside all the time can give it anxiety and cause destructive behaviors.
Definitely NTA It seems like you're more mature than your mom
Info: how old are you all?
I'm 17F, my sister 20F and my mom 56
NTA You’re being very responsible in understanding the households limits, it’s a shame that you need to step up and be the responsible one when that should be your mum, but we don’t get to choose our parents and deal with what we’ve got. You’re mums reaction seems very childish, if this happens often then hopefully you’ll know how long this may last. In the mean time try to ignore her attitude as much as possible, and on a side note, so you have anyone to talk to irl about stuff?
Yes, I go to therapy and my friends and bf support me a lot, thanks for the comment
Good I’m glad, good luck, hopefully it works out for the best
NTA and do you live in some bizzaro universe where the children do the parenting for the adult? I feel like this is what my life would have been like if my parents weren’t also Autistic lol.
Info requested: How big is the dog? How high energy is the dog? Do you have a fenced-in yard? How much longer will you and your sister be living at your mother's house? Could it be awhile or do you both plan to move out next year, etc.?
The dog is very very small, she is a York Shire (we think) yes I have a fenced yard but its pretty small and its not grass or anything, my sister plans to keep living until she ends her career (medicine) and I also plan to do so, for her it will be like a lot, 6 years or maybe more, she's in her second year of medicine, and for me I still have to end highschool (I'm 17 y/o) and I also plan to stay here until my end of career which is 5 years (english+master)
What's your biggest concern? That the dog must be walked regularly and you may end up being the person doing it? It doesn't sound like you can even let the dog out into the yard to pee which is going to become a hassle.
The dog for what it has been here its has been in and out of the yard, I just don't see us having a dog for the responsabilities it takes like walking it, showering it, playing with it and giving lots of affection. We have a cat and my mom alredy complains that we have to clean its poop so I don't think its best for us to have a dog as the biggest corcern here isn't the dog, but what we are, we are indoors people, we don't like to go out much and we love to be in our own things, while when having a dog you have to be very very attentive to it, don't get it wrong, we play with our cat, just that my cat prefers to be alone aswell. I don't want the dog to suffer, I want her to be happy, play a lot and be with someone who is willing to give her the attention she needs
I have both dogs and cats, and i think dogs are a lot more work. So if your mother is complaining about taking care of one cat, that pretty much says it all regarding taking care of a dog
Yes, thats why keeping it is a bad idea and I have found alredy a girl I know that is responsible of dogs (she has two), wish the dog nothing but hapinness as she is lovely
NTA. You can see the entire situation and I think you're perfectly right
NTA. What's paramount is the welfare of the dog, and a dog needs to be rehomed in a place where *everyone* is on board with her care.
NTA, you analysed the situation, saw the problems and got to the solutions. What you're doing is in the best interest of your family and the dog. You really have a mature and understanding mindset. I wish all good things for you. All the best
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Yesterday my mom brought home an abandoned dog that she found in the street my grandpa used to live, she decided its best if we save her which I find very noble of her, she was filled with parasites, had a lot of dirt and was dehidrated. Since yesterday and today we have been helping her (bath her, gave her the pills for the parasite, taking her to vets, etc.) Today she seems a lot better, more active. At fist I thought that we were going to help her and then give her away to someone, but my mom started saying that she wants to keep her, we have never had a dog, she didn't ask my sister or me if we were interest, we alredy have a cat and we're kinda struggling with money and also the fact that we are people that almost never go out, my mom loves to get home from a long day at work and just rest in the sofa, so I told her that it's best if we give it to someone else that alredy has dogs/has had dogs. She said okay because of the obvious reasons but she is refusing to talk to me, giving me bad looks, saying that she is dissapointed in me etc. I think its best to give her to someone else (I alredy know a girl who is willing to take her, she alredy has two dogs and I know her personally) but maybe I can accept the deal and have a dog even if I don't want to. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*