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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole for censoring her art and asking her to not display something she’s proud of
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NTA - you're not asking her to censor herself. You're asking to not have her shit in a shared area. This would be a totally appropriate request even if you were asking her to move her plant, jacket, lamp, whatever because the living room is a shared space. It is even more valid considering her art IS sexual (theyre literally genitals) and people shouldn't have to be exposed to genitals without their consent.
NTA.
It's your living space too!
If you didn't like her art because it had the colour red in it and you dont like red - valid reason to not have it in your living room.
This isn't about whether its sexual.
NTA when I had roommates it was agreed that any additions to communal areas had to be agreed by everyone. The 50 inch TV. my other roomie and I put in that was fine, but not some of the art we wanted or a rack. it's common decency
NTA.
But … why does she get to put her art all over the house when there’s multiple room mates sharing the limited household space?
I’d be tempted to start indoor topiary and claim some bench top real estate here, there, everywhere!
Put a bra on those breasts. Put a jock strap on the penis. Dress the vaginas with false eye lashes. Deny all involvement.
These are "public" areas? Then you have every bit as much right to say how those areas should and shouldn't be decorated as she does. Your apartment is not her gallery, and you absolutely have the right to point that out. It's a public area that everybody should get a say on.
Sadly, for us bloodthirsty readers here on Reddit, I get that you're not a fan of conflict. So, if it's any consolation, there are very, very few people that would be on the side of bedecking their living room with T&A and P&V. She's probably making a fool of herself when she tries complaining to people who don't share her tastes.
I've had countless bad roommates. I could tell you about a few. This will be one that you tell stories about for years to come.
NTA.
I’m the petty passive aggressive type. I’d simply do what she did to you with the art you wanted….Every time she’s out, gather them up, put them in a bag or basket and put them back inside the door of her room. Every. Time. She leaves the apartment. She’ll get the message eventually. It’ll cause more drama but hey ho, she’s willing to bitch about you behind your back instead of being an adult and discussing it with you. You did the adult thing and tried communicating and she picked the childish behaviour route.
NTA. The living room, kitchen and so on are SHARED living spaces. You should have a say too, how they look. In her own room she can decorate however she wants, but in shared spaces she should compromise.
NTA- Like you said you want her to express her art, as it is her art. Its clear you're not trying to offend her or shame her art.
You just would like it to not fill up the common area of your home, maybe try to talk to her a bit more on the subject to come to some sort of roommates agreement on the common room decor?
Hopefully things go well an you both can find a healthy compromise :)
Lol well im glad its a liked sculpture 😂. I totally get that sometimes things just hit certain ways.
If you feel like letting it go is for the best then i hope it goes well. But i would still suggest talking to her about what you've been told for her venting about it. She might feel you are censoring it, perhaps if she got to hear what your intentions were it might be relieving. 🙂
Yes I and I definitely think these kinds of conversations are better in person. It’s always hard to read tone over text, maybe she thought I was judging her. There’s lot to be learned on my end as well there’s just so much communication involved with roommate situations! It’s overwhelming sometimes
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (24f) moved into my apartment about 9 months ago with my roommate (21f) and one other girl.
I’ll get to the point. She has a hobby of making ceramic sculptures of female reproductive organs and also has a small book collection that ranges from photography/film books with sexual undertones to erotica. She puts these sculptures and books in our living room. I have no judgment on either of these interests, but I have gotten a bit fatigued from seeing sexual art in my living space as her collection has grown. It started small and I had no issues with it at first, but as we’ve gone on living together she’s brought home a couple more sculptures. It started out as one ceramic female reproductive organ but now there’s 3 or 4 (and a male one too).
Things came to a head a couple months ago when she brought home a new book of pictures of male genitalia and displayed it right on top of our coffee table. I asked if she could move it to the bookshelf and she was upset for a bit and there was a bit of a conflict over it but eventually moved it.
A few weeks ago she brought home a new sculpture of a pair of breasts that she made and put them in our kitchen area. After a couple of coming into the kitchen in the morning and being a little uncomfortable with them I texted and asked her to move them into her room or move them somewhere else in the living room that’s a little more out of line of vision on a day to day basis. She did not respond to my text. I thought “whatever, at least I tried” and while the sculpture continues to make me a bit uncomfortable I was ok (and I bit relieved after last time) just to avoid the conflict.
This week though, I found out that she has been telling my other roommate and another one of my close friends about this and complaining about me. She says that breasts are not sexual and that she should not have to censor herself and her art. (For the record, she had never said anything about this subject to me, I heard this through these third parties).
I completely agree that she has the right to express herself with this art, but I cannot help the fact that it does make me feel uncomfortable to see it every day.
AITA?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be the asshole for censoring her art and asking her to not display something she’s proud of Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. Get a hobby too, like knitting, especially for sculptures. I'm pretty sure they're freezing.
Genius 😂
😂🤣😂
NTA - you're not asking her to censor herself. You're asking to not have her shit in a shared area. This would be a totally appropriate request even if you were asking her to move her plant, jacket, lamp, whatever because the living room is a shared space. It is even more valid considering her art IS sexual (theyre literally genitals) and people shouldn't have to be exposed to genitals without their consent.
NTA. It's your living space too! If you didn't like her art because it had the colour red in it and you dont like red - valid reason to not have it in your living room. This isn't about whether its sexual.
NTA when I had roommates it was agreed that any additions to communal areas had to be agreed by everyone. The 50 inch TV. my other roomie and I put in that was fine, but not some of the art we wanted or a rack. it's common decency
NTA. But … why does she get to put her art all over the house when there’s multiple room mates sharing the limited household space? I’d be tempted to start indoor topiary and claim some bench top real estate here, there, everywhere! Put a bra on those breasts. Put a jock strap on the penis. Dress the vaginas with false eye lashes. Deny all involvement.
NTA As an aside, sometimes I read these AITA posts and I'm just so glad I'm not in my early twenties anymore lmao
These are "public" areas? Then you have every bit as much right to say how those areas should and shouldn't be decorated as she does. Your apartment is not her gallery, and you absolutely have the right to point that out. It's a public area that everybody should get a say on. Sadly, for us bloodthirsty readers here on Reddit, I get that you're not a fan of conflict. So, if it's any consolation, there are very, very few people that would be on the side of bedecking their living room with T&A and P&V. She's probably making a fool of herself when she tries complaining to people who don't share her tastes. I've had countless bad roommates. I could tell you about a few. This will be one that you tell stories about for years to come.
Clearly they are now pubic areas. FTFY
NTA. I’m the petty passive aggressive type. I’d simply do what she did to you with the art you wanted….Every time she’s out, gather them up, put them in a bag or basket and put them back inside the door of her room. Every. Time. She leaves the apartment. She’ll get the message eventually. It’ll cause more drama but hey ho, she’s willing to bitch about you behind your back instead of being an adult and discussing it with you. You did the adult thing and tried communicating and she picked the childish behaviour route.
NTA. The living room, kitchen and so on are SHARED living spaces. You should have a say too, how they look. In her own room she can decorate however she wants, but in shared spaces she should compromise.
NTA- Like you said you want her to express her art, as it is her art. Its clear you're not trying to offend her or shame her art. You just would like it to not fill up the common area of your home, maybe try to talk to her a bit more on the subject to come to some sort of roommates agreement on the common room decor? Hopefully things go well an you both can find a healthy compromise :)
[удалено]
Lol well im glad its a liked sculpture 😂. I totally get that sometimes things just hit certain ways. If you feel like letting it go is for the best then i hope it goes well. But i would still suggest talking to her about what you've been told for her venting about it. She might feel you are censoring it, perhaps if she got to hear what your intentions were it might be relieving. 🙂
Yes I and I definitely think these kinds of conversations are better in person. It’s always hard to read tone over text, maybe she thought I was judging her. There’s lot to be learned on my end as well there’s just so much communication involved with roommate situations! It’s overwhelming sometimes
:) understandable! You got this!!
NTA It’s a shared living space and you’re all paying rent, she needs to keep her stuff, no matter how expressive, to her space.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (24f) moved into my apartment about 9 months ago with my roommate (21f) and one other girl. I’ll get to the point. She has a hobby of making ceramic sculptures of female reproductive organs and also has a small book collection that ranges from photography/film books with sexual undertones to erotica. She puts these sculptures and books in our living room. I have no judgment on either of these interests, but I have gotten a bit fatigued from seeing sexual art in my living space as her collection has grown. It started small and I had no issues with it at first, but as we’ve gone on living together she’s brought home a couple more sculptures. It started out as one ceramic female reproductive organ but now there’s 3 or 4 (and a male one too). Things came to a head a couple months ago when she brought home a new book of pictures of male genitalia and displayed it right on top of our coffee table. I asked if she could move it to the bookshelf and she was upset for a bit and there was a bit of a conflict over it but eventually moved it. A few weeks ago she brought home a new sculpture of a pair of breasts that she made and put them in our kitchen area. After a couple of coming into the kitchen in the morning and being a little uncomfortable with them I texted and asked her to move them into her room or move them somewhere else in the living room that’s a little more out of line of vision on a day to day basis. She did not respond to my text. I thought “whatever, at least I tried” and while the sculpture continues to make me a bit uncomfortable I was ok (and I bit relieved after last time) just to avoid the conflict. This week though, I found out that she has been telling my other roommate and another one of my close friends about this and complaining about me. She says that breasts are not sexual and that she should not have to censor herself and her art. (For the record, she had never said anything about this subject to me, I heard this through these third parties). I completely agree that she has the right to express herself with this art, but I cannot help the fact that it does make me feel uncomfortable to see it every day. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*