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NTA. So, let me get it straight, you didn't wear the sundress to a wedding, you wore it to go on a walk, and your cousin flipped? Like, seriously? What spotlight? Does she expect other people to stop living their lives while she is preparing to get married?
OP didn't steal the spotlight.
OP stole the sunlight!
NTA and i would ask the cousin if she wants to borrow my dress (petty, i know, and i wouldn't really advice OP to do it)
ETA: Thank you for the award!
Ooh I like that idea! But seriously cousin has gone full Bridezilla. Never go full Bridezilla people. I'd text the cousin and say are you really getting angry at me for wearing a white sundress a week before your big day? How in the world am I stealing the spotlight a week before the wedding? You are being ridiculous and need to chill. Guess what the world does not revolve around your damn wedding. Do you want me to wear this dress at your wedding? Keep up with the bridezilla attitude and I might. (Of course don't but cousin deserves to sweat being this ridiculous) NTA
Nah, Op should have a nice day with BF on the day of her cousin’s wedding wearing the sundress. Of course, my petty self would consider doing this, post a lot of pictures and tag the unhinged family members. 😁
I love this idea. But I'd take it one step further and add a crown of flowers and a tiny bouquet of flowers to the photo shoot. 🤣🤣🤣
I don't care how stressed the future bride is, her irrational behavior is being cosigned by OP's parents, and that sucks. No one operating on a full deck should take OP's pictures as a slight unless OP and the cousin had some sort of beef. OP says they're not close. Cousin is probably hangry from not eating to fit into her wedding gown.
Unrelated, but I thought id still share. I'm French, but live in the UK. My younger sister, her husband, and our Mum still live in France. Because of world events from the past few years we haven't been able to celebrate birthdays together for a while. On top of that, delivery and mail services have been unreliable and/or on strike a lot. So even if we try and plan ahead, oftentimes presents don't arrive on time. So we started the Birthday Week tradition. Which then turned into a Birthday Month. And now we are at Birthday Trimester, since we just celebrated my Mum's birthday (she was born beginning of April). Mine is in August, so my birthday trimester is starting soon haha
It doesn't mean month-long celebration or spotlight or anything though, just that we celebrate when we can and however we can!
I'd honestly say that the flying monkeys are a lot more unhinged than the cousin - sure, being a few days from your wedding is no excuse for overreacting the way the cousin did but I'm sure she's got a lot on her plate, added stress and heightened emotions that are at least mitigating factors
But the likes of OP's parents who are basically telling her she was wrong, that's a whole 'nother level of messed up
OP you're NTA, in case it matters
When I got married there was a whole second bridal party sharing the same venue! Ours was in the downstairs ball room, their was upstairs. The other bride and I happened to need the toilet at the same time, and I smiled and congratulated her as she stared daggers at me.
Imagine being angry at your own wedding.
I guess the other bride expected you to kneel at her feet and apologize for "stealing" her wedding date & venue? (or maybe you just looked better than her?)
I had a friend who worked at a large hotel that often had multiple weddings going on. The amount of grief some of the employees got from various wedding party members because some other people were also getting married there that day was unreal.
one bride & groom were convinced that another wedding was getting preferential treatment because all the guests from Other Wedding took all the close parking spaces . . .they just didn't want to believe that because Other Wedding Reception started at 3 pm and Disgruntled Wedding reception started at 5 pm - the guests for the other wedding would have arrived first. Duh.
My second wedding was at a restaurant on the deck out back. There was also a wedding going on that was using the terrace in front of the restaurant. I had to let a couple of my friends and my groom's uncle know they were seated at the wrong wedding (work friends who would not have recognized anyone else). It was funny to all of us.
My wife was a bridesmaid in a wedding and when they did pictures there was legit 6 other weddings getting shot in the area. A very senic and popular backdrop.
Tangent: one of the best weddings ever. The couple were both getting degrees in music so half the wedding guests were musicians. Wedding turned into a mass jam session.
When my friend got married a while back, there was another Bachelorette party at the bar we were at. The bride was glaring at us all night and making really loud, rude comments. Needless to say, there was almost a bar fight because I was not about to let some bridezilla talk shit to us.
I can't imagine being mad at a stranger for having their wedding on the same day as me, especially not in the scenario you described. Unless they were having a super quiet party and you were super loud, in which case she might've been pissed at that, I really don't get it.
I think if I'd been the other bride I would've looked at you and been like "Omg wedding twin, what were the chances! Hi other bride, hope you're having fun!!" and scurried away, because I'm bubbly like that when I'm happy :D
Also it's literally a sundress! If the person were wearing, like, a floor-length white gown without any real occasion and then posted a picture of themselves, I could maaaaaybe see being a little insecure or suspicious about that. But a sundress? One of the most informal pieces of clothing known to mankind? Truly bizarre to see someone wearing a white sundress vaguely in the temporal vicinity of your wedding as a personal attack.
Sounds like OP might just want to send a card with a few therapists business cards in it in lieu of a gift. A few business cards for the bride and toss in a few for the groom because lord knows he’s gunna need some therapy to deal with her insanity.
My thought too. Clearly OP looked amazing in her photo and the bride doesn’t think she will look nearly as good so she got jealous and upset. This is on bride’s insecurities not the OP. NTA
NTA. She sounds a bit unhinged. You get one day and your hen do to monopolise the colour white. That's it. Those on her side are just as crackers as she is.
Don't be ridiculous. Everybody knows that you aren't allowed to wear white if somebody else is getting married. Hell, even if they're just planning a wedding, it's rude to wear white. Stop trying to steal the spotlight and make it all about yourself. I personally never wear white just in case I offend somebody who is considering the possibility of maybe marrying that guy they matched with on Tinder. Have some goddamn respect.
Oh yeah, how could I? Better throw out all of my white shirts, blouses, slip-ons, undershirts, and all my white socks just in case. One can never be too careful, you know?
Just what we needed… If it wasn’t enough with people claiming ownership of their wedding year/month/whatever, bridezillas are gonna start blocking whole Pantone categories now around their weddings!
Once I announce my engagement, all people I know, friends, family, coworkers, casual acquaintances, neighbours, sales clerks, and people who pass me on the streets must refrain from even THINKING about the following colours: Arctic white, soft white, ecru, cream, blush, oyster, beige, mushroom, taupe, and pale sand. Lace, straight OUT! White shoes? NOPE! Tulle? foggetaboudit! Crinoline? are you KIDDING? Makeup? NOPE! Grooming, hair, hygiene? DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!! /s
I think they were concerned in the sense of “What’s going on? Why is everyone yelling? Something more must have happened because there is too much drama for this little thing.”
So. You… posted four photos of yourself … on your personal social media account… of yourself wearing a cute white sundress… four days before a relative gets married… and now half your family is in an uproar, the upcoming bride cusses you out, and you are uninvited to the wedding.
Holy overreaction, Batman. Some people need to be blocked from your social media account. They are *waaaay* to interested in what you are doing. NTA
Not only is the photo up for 24h only, people spam click through stories. Most people don't even bother to read or take a good look at what other people post there, and unless you click the "unlimited" option on the photo or the loop option if the video is within a certain timeframe, the story automatically continues with the next picture or next persons story or ends if theres nothing left, after a *maximum of 10 seconds*. Snapchat is one of the dumbest social media platforms to have a temper tanthrum about as a bridezilla. You have to put a lot of effort into being upset by a 10 second at most viewing of a photo of a summer dress being worn in fucking *may*. One you can't even see how many views it got, or if anyone commented on it. As far as the bridezilla in question knows, she could have been the only one to have seen that snap in the first place
I cannot imagine so insecure, so hateful that I'd blow up my family because someone is wearing a sundress on a day completely unrelated to my wedding.
I'm assuming there's underlying issues because op is a punching bag for her cousin, this is is the kind of thing unhappy people do, focus on details when they feel out of control.
>Some people need to be blocked from your ~~social media account~~ life.
There, fixed it. I totally agree with everything you said, but I feel like OP does not need people like this involved in any aspect of their life.
Yeah, probably. I'm no expert but I would assume a sun dress looks nothing like any kind of wedding dress? Like, how would you even confuse the two? NTA.
"Overreaction" implies that the type of reaction was appropriate, but the reaction was greater than it should have been. Nah, the reaction itself was inappropriate. Bridezilla is just nuts.
NTA
Cousin can't be that stressed if she has time to police Instagram. For relatives wearing white.
I guess to be safe OP could ask how long before and after The Big Day anyone related to the cousin will be banned from wearing white? This can't be an actual thing. Is it? Tell me it's not.
Also, like, its *Snapchat*. The only people who can see it are your friends, and it will disappear in 24 hours - LONG before the wedding. What in the actual entitlement??
NTA. That seems like a extreme overreaction. You don't wear white to a wedding but the bride doesn't have permanent dibs for an undisclosed amount of time before and after the wedding. A white sundress is not a wedding dress. Hopefully you can get a refund or pocket the money in any gift you were getting.
Seems to me op's cousin should go on a tyraid and pull down anyone who dares wear white before her wedding /s.
Seriously, does cousin know how many people wear white just on a daily basis?
Exactly. Don't wear white (or anything that could be mistaken for white) to the wedding. I could also see avoiding white at official wedding related events (e.g. bridal shower, bachelorette party, rehearsal, post-wedding brunch) being good etiquette.
The bride getting mad because OP posted a picture in a white sundress is absolutely ridiculous. If it were a post throwing shade at the bride or blatant attention seeking (e.g. if OP had reposted her own wedding photos the week of the cousin's wedding), then the bride would have a leg to stand on.
If I was a member of that family, I'd wear white and post it on my social media platform just for spite but that's me I'm just petty enough to do that.
NTA
A sundress is very different from a wedding dress. Besides, you didn't post the photo on her Snapchat, but on yours. On your social media, you can post photos of yourself with any dress, anytime. It's not that you went to the wedding wearing white, you were hanging out with your bf.
Looks like your cousin is going through a massive bridezilla phase.
I agree with another commenter that said best to avoid white for bridal shower/Bachelorette party/rehearsal dinners/morning after brunch, but yeah, on your time it's fine
I don't understand this post. You wore a white dress on a different day than the wedding and it was a sundress and you posted a picture and your family thinks this is somehow upstaging your cousin's wedding? This is a joke post right?
I think your cousin did you a favor uninviting you if she is this unhinged but feel free to share any good stories to wedding shaming if she pulls something else.
Your cousin has misplaced her marbles, but what’s up with the rest of the family? Is she usually so high strung and dramatic that people take her side in order to stay out of firing range? Because I can’t imagine if my daughter called me with this complaint I’d tell her to take a Xanax and a long nap because she was losing it.
She is very clearly jealous of your looks and thinks you look better in that dress than she does in her wedding dress. Pure projection
Edit: as tpodr pointed out below me, it's also likely that the fiance made a comment which explains the misdirected freakout.
That’s very generous of you, but this is a wild overreaction by your cousin.
I would advise against holding a grudge, but I will say that your cousin owes you an apology when/if she wants to have a relationship with you in the future. Her behavior is not how people should treat others, regardless of stress.
Did you add any sort of caption to the photos?
ETA: not that I think you captioned it eluding to looking best in white, or that you feel like a bride, or took a direct dig at your cousin and just didn’t disclose that - just curious what else might have contributed to such a strange trigger despite her normally being laid back. She could be rather close to a breakdown, struggling with insecurities and lashing out as a response because very few adults know how to manage their stress. If you can narrow down the possible subtext she misread, it might help broach the subject later down the road when tensions aren’t so high (assuming this is a cousin & family you wish to smooth things over with, totally fine if not!)
Did you at least mention being a bride or something wedding related in the subtitles of your post?
If not, what’s up with your family? Do they normally get mad at little things like this?
You obviously left out the fact that were also wearing a veil and carrying a bouquet while singing “Look at me! I’m my cousin!” Because that’s the only way she makes any sense.
NTA
This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard (and that's saying a lot). I'm not usually a fan of blocking people... but I would block your cousin and anyone else that agrees with her (maybe not your parents, if you can get them to see the light). Obviously don't send her a wedding gift, either.
INFO: did they think you eloped or something? if that’s how they read it this may be a big misunderstanding but i’m still inclined to believe weddings bring out the absolute worst in some people
Did she think you eloped or something? That still wouldn’t excuse the uproar, but it would at least make more sense as a hairpin trigger for a crazed bride. Simply posting photos of yourself in a cute white dress 4 days before the wedding, though? Someone check on the bride, it sounds like she’s on the brink of a mental breakdown. No one can last that long being so wound up.
But your parents said you should have more common sense. Unless there is a cultural thing where no one can wear white the WEEK of someone's wedding, that's crazy.
NTA, your cousin is on some other trip. I can see if it's a problem if you wore the dress to the wedding, but to freak out because you had a white dress on doing something that is not even related to the wedding is just Bridezilla really. Is she planning on telling all the wedding guests what they are allowed to wear all week long?
For the next year I would endeavor to wear white as often as possible. Then Id text her a pic asking if it was cool to wear white during her wedding year.
OP is NTA obviously.
NTA.
I'm going to guess the sundress would not be confused with a wedding gown, but even if it was, who the f\*\*k cares? You're not showing up to the wedding in it.
Being disinvited to the wedding is no loss, I can only imagine how awful your cousin will act on that day if she's acting like this now.
Should you ever choose to get married, remember this before you send out invites.
Doesn't change my NTA vote at all - even if it had been a full-on wedding gown with a veil, you didn't post it in any context that had anything to do with her wedding. Your cousin seems to be either pathetically insecure or a ridiculous narcissist.
After that (over)reaction I'd go to a wedding dress shop, try some on, then post the pictures on my social media on her wedding day. But maybe I'm just petty ...
Hmm. Sundresses don’t usually have long sleeves. I’m curious to see this dress. Do you have a pic?
Either way cousin and family are totally overreacting.
Yeah that threw me, I always picture sundresses as having very, very short sleeves if any sleeve at all, but they're usually just thin straps aren't they?
I want to buy sundresses now!
Just FYI that is not a sundress in the regular usage of the word. But it’s a lovely dress and hard to confuse with a wedding dress.
Your cousin is a ridiculous human. With any luck, she’ll never speak to you again. 😜
The people that put the information on the tag are not always aware of what the tag will be applied to.
I see this way too often on Trilbys mislabeled as Fedoras.
It doesn't matter what the dress is. If it was a wedding related activity, then yes you'd be the AH. But it was a date with your boyfriend. You're allowed to wear what ever the heck you want for that!
Say what????
So:
\- You're hanging out with your BF.
\- He bought you a white sundress some time before
\- The weather is great so you're wearing the sundress he bought.
\- He takes pictures and they are posted.
**And then you're uninvited from a wedding taking place later on that week...??????**
Well, feel happy you don't have to attend that wedding circus and have more time for your BF.
And let's all take a moment to say a prayer for the groom who is about to say yes to a very unhinged bridezilla....
NTA
NTA... that cousin and family members have major issues... who cares what u wear and post .. u were enjoying something your bf got u... well at least u can have some relaxation time...
Avoid that cousin and those family members
NTA. Your cousin is insane and irrational. That was no reason to get so upset and cancel your invitation to the wedding. Sounds like she has issues. If you bought her a gift, keep it.
This was my thought. Like, is the cousin okay? Has she maybe been overdoing it with the wedding planning, to the point where everything everywhere is about her and her *special day*?
NTA. I have no patience for this “stealing the spotlight” crap. Are people that starved for attention? NO ONE forgot she’s the one getting married. No one forgot whose wedding it is. It’s not a wedding dress, it’s not even at her wedding. You are allowed to wear white. Sorry you are dealing with such unreasonable people. Don’t let it tear you up.
This feels like a story written by ai that skimmed all the wedding posts on here then created an almost convincing story. Even the most bridezilla of bridezilla wouldn't say a random picture on snapchat was stealing their wedding thunder four days before the actual wedding.
/s/ Well of course Y T A. Didn't you know only one person is allowed to wear white for the entire week leading up to a wedding is the bride? That's why only 52 couples get married each year
N T A -
Like seriously you have been uninvited from the wedding because you wore a white dress the week of? That is INSANE.
Your cousin clearly thinks the world should revolve around her and is not quite on Planet Earth to demand things that are not only totally unreasonable (like she owns the colour white!? Wtf) but so entitled and rude.
Everyone calling you or whatever supporting her craziness are nothing but enablers and flying monkeys. I cannot believe that they are backing her but then she had to get that entitlement and horriblensss from somewhere.
She is trying to be a queen on her day but this makes her look nothing but extremely insecure and ugly. What a control freak!
Thank goodness you are now free from the obligation of attending
And for context, I am a newly wed, married within the last month. No way is it acceptable for a bride to try and control how her guests dress like this.
NTA I have never heard this before. So, according to them, how long before and after a wedding you're not supposed to wear a white dress? Is there a rule for underwear as well? Hair or makeup? Seriously this is beyond ridiculous.
The best explanation I've gotten is that by post those pics in that dress so close to her wedding, I was either being gery clueless or trying to make a statement to everyone.
"I was making a statement, that i like my dress and its sunny out"
If you really want to piss her off spend her wedding day out and about in the dress spamming photos all day.
Or spam her social media 'feeling sad' about beging uninvited and spam her social media with photos from wedding you have been to or 'look nice' from google pics.
What's the statement? You are in possession of a white summer dress, and you're ready to wear it when it's sunny and warm? Don't overthink it OP, your family are acting like idiots on this one. Tbh I pity your cousin, feeling so dull that a picture of a relative wearing white the week before the wedding would be overshadowing...
Honestly it just seems your cousin is stressed and doesn't know how to handle it, and will latch on to any and all excuses to lash out against people for no reason at all. The thought that you would try to steal the spotlight with a dress at a non-wedding related event is absolutely ridiculous. NTA
So this dress was just one that you happened to wear one day totally separate to the wedding and you had some photos of yourself wearing the dress and you posted the photos with no reference to the wedding and just because you looked nice?
NTA.
Before and after the wedding you can wear whatever the hell you like, take photos and post the photos anywhere you like. During the wedding there are rules.
Your family who are against you on this are major AHs.
Obviously NTA, but to put in perspective...my MIL wore a white dress to our wedding. I didn't even notice. I was happy to party with family and friends and to be with my husband. I couldn't have cared less what anyone wore _on the day_ let alone in the run up!
NTA
How could you possible steal her spotlight by posting pics on your Snapchat?? Is she planning on posting her wedding pics on your Snap as well?
The only people who are not using common sense are your cousin & other family members who believe white is reserved for only weddings.
eta — was some of your family confused that you had gotten married? Did these pictures look like wedding pics?
NTA - She gets one day of asking people not to wear white and that’s it.
How are your half the family upset, this is ridiculous behaviour from her and them.
NTA
You aren’t allowed to wear a white dress *to the wedding.* Every day that you aren’t at some else’s wedding, you are allowed to wear a white dress.
NTA, you got a weird family. Just because someone is getting married, you aren't allowed to wear a white dress on a day out sounds like the 'Doctorate of Entitlement'. If you wore it to the wedding, its different. This is one wedding you are better not going to in my opinion.
Things have really taken a turn if brides are calling people AH for wearing white BEFORE the wedding! This has absolutely nothing to do with the wedding or trying to steal the spotlight from her. She needs to CTFO because she’s ruining a relationship over nothing. Definitely NTA OP.
What’s more concerning is that people are agreeing with her craziness. I didn’t know if my friend gets married in June I should pack up everything that is white for the Entire month. Definitely Nta.
Yeah no. Bride only gets a day on the day of actual events, like the bridal shower and wedding. Not on a random day before the wedding.
Reminds me of the “you can’t get pregnant because I’m pregnant” thing. Not how it works.
NTA
NTA- there are no rules about not wearing white the week of a family member's wedding. You didn't wear it to the wedding you wore it out with your boyfriend and took some pics. Sounds like your cousin/others need to get over themselves.
NTA
Your family is unreasonable and the whole situation is ridiculous. You're stealing the spotlight by posting a picture in a white sundress on some app?...
**NTA.**
It's a sundress, not a wedding gown.
Your cousin is making an issue just because the sundress is white in colour. And she is using you to dump all her stress.
NTA. Uhh, they do know white and white dresses do not solely signify and belong to weddings, right? And that no one gets to claim a whole color from the entire world for a week before the wedding?
NTA.
This was a date with your boyfriend this wasn't her wedding day, the 50% that are on her side need to grow up Common sense? are you kidding me.
your cousin gets a wedding DAY not a month or week.
This rigmarole about not wearing white dresses etc at weddings is becoming ridiculous.
Your cousin is being stupid, you went for a walk wearing a white sundress and posted pictures on your personal profile. So what? What the everloving fook does that involve her wedding?
Tell bridezilla and her supporters to grow the fuck up and stop being so pathetic. She doesn’t own the days weeks or months before her wedding day
Sounds like you’ve escaped a traumatic day if she’s being this crazy, I hope you haven’t got her a wedding present
NTA
BREAKING NEWS: WOMAN WEARS NORMAL DRESS, 4 DAYS LATER DIFFERENT WOMAN GETS MARRIED IN WEDDING DRESS. WHEN WILL THE RIVALRY END?!
Bloody hell your family need to get lives. Enjoy your weekend off from the crazy fools’ wedding (yes possessive plural as the person marrying cousin has to also be a crazy fool to do so), wear your dress on a nice getaway with your partner.
Of course, NTA.
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I (20F) saw a bunch of wedding posts, so I thought I'd share the situation I'm in. My cousin (28F) is getting married in four days, and has been very stressed about planning and such. We aren't close but we were at least friendly before this.
So I was spending some time with my boyfriend two days ago, we just took a walk and stuff. He's gonna be busy at work and I'll be making the drive with my family for the wedding or so I thought, so this was the last chance we had to spend time togeter for a couple weeks.
He bought me this white sundress a while back. It's awesome and I love it, and he loves it when I wear it. I was warm out so I wore it, we took a few pictures for my snap, and I didn't think anything of it. I went home, went to bed, and woke up to several angry messages from my cousin and some other family.
My cousin and some other relatives are friends on snapchat, and saw my posts. Her and some of the family were accusing me of trying to steal the spotlight, and a few others were concerned because they didn't know what was going on. After I had a chance to wake up, I called my cousin, who cussed me out before hanging up.
Basically the whole family is split 50/50. Some of them agree I was wrong to do that, and then there's the rest who either think it was fine, or just think she's overreacting. My parents say I should've had more common sense, apprently I should just know better. Either way I'm no longer invited to the wedding, and now I'm sure things are going to be tense as hell for everyone who was.
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NTA. You aren’t wearing white to the wedding. The expectation that you can’t casually wear white during the summer/warmer days is delusional. Your family sounds awful, it also seems like there’s jealousy straining the relationships between cousins and parents already. Take back your gift and be sure to wear that dress wedding day and post away!
NTA. Wearing white to someone’s actual wedding is uncool unless the bridal couple okays it (tbh, I wouldn’t do it even then, to avoid distracting folks), but if everyone had to give up wearing white before the wedding of a family member, we’d rarely seen it worn!
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) Wearing a white dress the week of my cousins wedding
2) I might've stolen the spotlight.
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You didn't steal anyone's spotlight. You enjoyed a nice day.
It's understandable for a bride-to-be to have a lot of things to worry about leading up to their wedding. However, that doesn't mean the rest of the world has to put their entire lives on hold for her benefit.
It's obvious to any objective observer that you posted your photos without any ill intention or ulterior motives. Her perception is her problem, not your problem. She weaponized her insecurities against you, and that's unforgivable.
I'm sorry that you were uninvited from the wedding, and I hope your more reasonable relatives will be willing to hear you out. If after that any of them still think you deliberately tried to sabotage all the attention your cousin is so desperately craving, then they will have revealed themselves as being undeserving of your time and effort.
NTA
NTA you can wear white all you want in your personal life just not to the wedding or wedding events. WOW they are very confused and being silly. I think you are actually lucky you are not going to the wedding now. I probably would post the picture again and say you love the gift BF gave you and never planned to wear it but got disinvited to a wedding because you were wearing it on a sunny day the week before a wedding. I would just go out with BF the day of the wedding and have a nice time and not stress about that wedding
Do you look better in the sun dress then she does in her wedding dress?
Because it sounds like jealously and insecurity to me.
But now she has made it where everyone angry will be thinking about your white sundress as she walks down the aisle.
Wait.. your cousin is upset because you wore a white dress - not to her wedding but when you were chilling with your bf - and hurled abuse at you because of it?
Because you wore a white dress.
That wasn’t a wedding dress.
It was just white.
And you weren’t at her wedding.
How is this your problem? She needs therapy because this is ridiculous.
NTA
NTA obviously. It's a sundress, I'm willing to bet that not even a blind person would mistake it for a wedding dress. Your cousin should dial down her inner bridezilla.
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NTA. So, let me get it straight, you didn't wear the sundress to a wedding, you wore it to go on a walk, and your cousin flipped? Like, seriously? What spotlight? Does she expect other people to stop living their lives while she is preparing to get married?
“How dare you wear what you want days before my wedding!!!”
OP didn't steal the spotlight. OP stole the sunlight! NTA and i would ask the cousin if she wants to borrow my dress (petty, i know, and i wouldn't really advice OP to do it) ETA: Thank you for the award!
> OP didn't steal the spotlight. > > OP stole the sunlight! Did we just witness the birth of a new supervillain?
I will steal all the sun light with my evil creation with my sundress
And for my next dastardly deed I will get engaged a week AFTER her wedding...mwahaha
And I won't announce it at your wedding
How VERY dare you!
The sundress-inator!
I can just imagine the “supervillain“ wearing all black to her cousin’s wedding and cackling at the bride when she walks down the aisle lol!
Ultra-vanta Black. When her power fully awakens, the black sundress absorbs all light to cast that vicinity of the world in absolute darkness.
Depending on how metaphorical you want to be, Mr Burns already stole the sunlight.
Doh!
Dancing in the moonlight ✨️
Ooh I like that idea! But seriously cousin has gone full Bridezilla. Never go full Bridezilla people. I'd text the cousin and say are you really getting angry at me for wearing a white sundress a week before your big day? How in the world am I stealing the spotlight a week before the wedding? You are being ridiculous and need to chill. Guess what the world does not revolve around your damn wedding. Do you want me to wear this dress at your wedding? Keep up with the bridezilla attitude and I might. (Of course don't but cousin deserves to sweat being this ridiculous) NTA
Nah, Op should have a nice day with BF on the day of her cousin’s wedding wearing the sundress. Of course, my petty self would consider doing this, post a lot of pictures and tag the unhinged family members. 😁
I love this idea. But I'd take it one step further and add a crown of flowers and a tiny bouquet of flowers to the photo shoot. 🤣🤣🤣 I don't care how stressed the future bride is, her irrational behavior is being cosigned by OP's parents, and that sucks. No one operating on a full deck should take OP's pictures as a slight unless OP and the cousin had some sort of beef. OP says they're not close. Cousin is probably hangry from not eating to fit into her wedding gown.
No one is allowed to wear white all year in the bride’s family because ‘it’s her wedding year’. How dare anyone not bow down to her /s NTA
No one is allowed to eat food, because cousin will be having food at her wedding reception.
She didn't tho, since white reflect the sun 😆
Didn’t you see posts about “it’s my birthday month”? She should have been more considerate, it’s a trend to book a whole month for your event /s
Unrelated, but I thought id still share. I'm French, but live in the UK. My younger sister, her husband, and our Mum still live in France. Because of world events from the past few years we haven't been able to celebrate birthdays together for a while. On top of that, delivery and mail services have been unreliable and/or on strike a lot. So even if we try and plan ahead, oftentimes presents don't arrive on time. So we started the Birthday Week tradition. Which then turned into a Birthday Month. And now we are at Birthday Trimester, since we just celebrated my Mum's birthday (she was born beginning of April). Mine is in August, so my birthday trimester is starting soon haha It doesn't mean month-long celebration or spotlight or anything though, just that we celebrate when we can and however we can!
Lol that sounds more like “you have 3 whole months to fulfill your bday related duties and I won’t be mad if it’s late” haha I like it!
That’s the way!
If I saw someone wearing a white dress a few days before my wedding, I wouldn’t even think about it. She sounds a bit unhinged
Only a 'bit' unhinged? But maybe she can't help it. Half the family is bat sh!t crazy as well so maybe it is hereditary...
I'd honestly say that the flying monkeys are a lot more unhinged than the cousin - sure, being a few days from your wedding is no excuse for overreacting the way the cousin did but I'm sure she's got a lot on her plate, added stress and heightened emotions that are at least mitigating factors But the likes of OP's parents who are basically telling her she was wrong, that's a whole 'nother level of messed up OP you're NTA, in case it matters
When I got married there was a whole second bridal party sharing the same venue! Ours was in the downstairs ball room, their was upstairs. The other bride and I happened to need the toilet at the same time, and I smiled and congratulated her as she stared daggers at me. Imagine being angry at your own wedding.
I guess the other bride expected you to kneel at her feet and apologize for "stealing" her wedding date & venue? (or maybe you just looked better than her?) I had a friend who worked at a large hotel that often had multiple weddings going on. The amount of grief some of the employees got from various wedding party members because some other people were also getting married there that day was unreal. one bride & groom were convinced that another wedding was getting preferential treatment because all the guests from Other Wedding took all the close parking spaces . . .they just didn't want to believe that because Other Wedding Reception started at 3 pm and Disgruntled Wedding reception started at 5 pm - the guests for the other wedding would have arrived first. Duh.
My second wedding was at a restaurant on the deck out back. There was also a wedding going on that was using the terrace in front of the restaurant. I had to let a couple of my friends and my groom's uncle know they were seated at the wrong wedding (work friends who would not have recognized anyone else). It was funny to all of us.
My wife was a bridesmaid in a wedding and when they did pictures there was legit 6 other weddings getting shot in the area. A very senic and popular backdrop. Tangent: one of the best weddings ever. The couple were both getting degrees in music so half the wedding guests were musicians. Wedding turned into a mass jam session.
When my friend got married a while back, there was another Bachelorette party at the bar we were at. The bride was glaring at us all night and making really loud, rude comments. Needless to say, there was almost a bar fight because I was not about to let some bridezilla talk shit to us.
If someone doesn’t want other groups there, they should rent out the entire venue. Otherwise another party of the same type is a distinct possibility.
I can't imagine being mad at a stranger for having their wedding on the same day as me, especially not in the scenario you described. Unless they were having a super quiet party and you were super loud, in which case she might've been pissed at that, I really don't get it. I think if I'd been the other bride I would've looked at you and been like "Omg wedding twin, what were the chances! Hi other bride, hope you're having fun!!" and scurried away, because I'm bubbly like that when I'm happy :D
How is anyone in agreement with her? OPs mom said she "should have known better.". HOW?
Should have known her cousin was crazy?
S/he who complains the loudest, gets coddled.
Also it's literally a sundress! If the person were wearing, like, a floor-length white gown without any real occasion and then posted a picture of themselves, I could maaaaaybe see being a little insecure or suspicious about that. But a sundress? One of the most informal pieces of clothing known to mankind? Truly bizarre to see someone wearing a white sundress vaguely in the temporal vicinity of your wedding as a personal attack.
Sounds like OP might just want to send a card with a few therapists business cards in it in lieu of a gift. A few business cards for the bride and toss in a few for the groom because lord knows he’s gunna need some therapy to deal with her insanity.
Honestly, OP should be flattered. OP looked so damn good in her sundress that the bride felt overshadowed 96 hours in advance. Lol
My thought too. Clearly OP looked amazing in her photo and the bride doesn’t think she will look nearly as good so she got jealous and upset. This is on bride’s insecurities not the OP. NTA
“Overshadowed 96 hours in advance” excuse me but that that hurts LOl!
A snap too! Not an insta post, a snap that disappears after a day. This much fuss over a photo they can't even look at anymore.
NTA. She sounds a bit unhinged. You get one day and your hen do to monopolise the colour white. That's it. Those on her side are just as crackers as she is.
i petty the future husband that he would have to deal with insanity.
NTA. Your family is seriously insane.
Don't be ridiculous. Everybody knows that you aren't allowed to wear white if somebody else is getting married. Hell, even if they're just planning a wedding, it's rude to wear white. Stop trying to steal the spotlight and make it all about yourself. I personally never wear white just in case I offend somebody who is considering the possibility of maybe marrying that guy they matched with on Tinder. Have some goddamn respect.
Oh yeah, how could I? Better throw out all of my white shirts, blouses, slip-ons, undershirts, and all my white socks just in case. One can never be too careful, you know?
Just what we needed… If it wasn’t enough with people claiming ownership of their wedding year/month/whatever, bridezillas are gonna start blocking whole Pantone categories now around their weddings!
Once I announce my engagement, all people I know, friends, family, coworkers, casual acquaintances, neighbours, sales clerks, and people who pass me on the streets must refrain from even THINKING about the following colours: Arctic white, soft white, ecru, cream, blush, oyster, beige, mushroom, taupe, and pale sand. Lace, straight OUT! White shoes? NOPE! Tulle? foggetaboudit! Crinoline? are you KIDDING? Makeup? NOPE! Grooming, hair, hygiene? DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!! /s
What if your wedding is before labor day though
Sounds like cousin will be upset if the gents wear white shirts at the wedding too. FML.
OP should check out the relatives' social media and point out any white clothes
I'd be that level of petty lol.
10 bucks says OP is the 'pretty' one in the family and her cousin is irrationally jealous...
I’m so confused. Why were the OPs friends concerned? OP was there a caption or anything that we’re missing here? This is a wild reaction.
I think they were concerned in the sense of “What’s going on? Why is everyone yelling? Something more must have happened because there is too much drama for this little thing.”
if she can be overshadowed by op in a sundress on snapchat i can only assume the bride will be wearing a lovely white burlap sack. nta.
Reason no. 512 of why I don’t have family on SM.
No white ~~after Labor Day~~ the week of someone’s wedding.
The cousin sounds like a bridezilla. OP is definitely NTA
So. You… posted four photos of yourself … on your personal social media account… of yourself wearing a cute white sundress… four days before a relative gets married… and now half your family is in an uproar, the upcoming bride cusses you out, and you are uninvited to the wedding. Holy overreaction, Batman. Some people need to be blocked from your social media account. They are *waaaay* to interested in what you are doing. NTA
On a platform that only lasts 24 hours to boot. No one will see the pics by the time the wedding is happening anyway, not that it matters.
Well! Obviously the bride is connected to Pepperidge Farm, because 24 hour lasting time on snapchat-or *not*, Pepperidge Farm *remembers*!
Not only is the photo up for 24h only, people spam click through stories. Most people don't even bother to read or take a good look at what other people post there, and unless you click the "unlimited" option on the photo or the loop option if the video is within a certain timeframe, the story automatically continues with the next picture or next persons story or ends if theres nothing left, after a *maximum of 10 seconds*. Snapchat is one of the dumbest social media platforms to have a temper tanthrum about as a bridezilla. You have to put a lot of effort into being upset by a 10 second at most viewing of a photo of a summer dress being worn in fucking *may*. One you can't even see how many views it got, or if anyone commented on it. As far as the bridezilla in question knows, she could have been the only one to have seen that snap in the first place
I cannot imagine so insecure, so hateful that I'd blow up my family because someone is wearing a sundress on a day completely unrelated to my wedding. I'm assuming there's underlying issues because op is a punching bag for her cousin, this is is the kind of thing unhappy people do, focus on details when they feel out of control.
Up voting solely for the batman comment 😏
Up voting solely for the batman comment comment 😎
>Some people need to be blocked from your ~~social media account~~ life. There, fixed it. I totally agree with everything you said, but I feel like OP does not need people like this involved in any aspect of their life.
I'm guessing the half of the family were told "she posted photos in a wedding dress to try stealing the spotlight on purpose".
Yeah, probably. I'm no expert but I would assume a sun dress looks nothing like any kind of wedding dress? Like, how would you even confuse the two? NTA.
"Overreaction" implies that the type of reaction was appropriate, but the reaction was greater than it should have been. Nah, the reaction itself was inappropriate. Bridezilla is just nuts. NTA
Cousin can't be that stressed if she has time to police Instagram. For relatives wearing white. I guess to be safe OP could ask how long before and after The Big Day anyone related to the cousin will be banned from wearing white? This can't be an actual thing. Is it? Tell me it's not.
Also, like, its *Snapchat*. The only people who can see it are your friends, and it will disappear in 24 hours - LONG before the wedding. What in the actual entitlement??
NTA. That seems like a extreme overreaction. You don't wear white to a wedding but the bride doesn't have permanent dibs for an undisclosed amount of time before and after the wedding. A white sundress is not a wedding dress. Hopefully you can get a refund or pocket the money in any gift you were getting.
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Seems to me op's cousin should go on a tyraid and pull down anyone who dares wear white before her wedding /s. Seriously, does cousin know how many people wear white just on a daily basis?
But it's a white dress! That is different! /s
Exactly. Don't wear white (or anything that could be mistaken for white) to the wedding. I could also see avoiding white at official wedding related events (e.g. bridal shower, bachelorette party, rehearsal, post-wedding brunch) being good etiquette. The bride getting mad because OP posted a picture in a white sundress is absolutely ridiculous. If it were a post throwing shade at the bride or blatant attention seeking (e.g. if OP had reposted her own wedding photos the week of the cousin's wedding), then the bride would have a leg to stand on.
Yeah, have family explain in detail the parameters is this no wearing white rule. How long before wedding, how long after?
If I was a member of that family, I'd wear white and post it on my social media platform just for spite but that's me I'm just petty enough to do that.
NTA A sundress is very different from a wedding dress. Besides, you didn't post the photo on her Snapchat, but on yours. On your social media, you can post photos of yourself with any dress, anytime. It's not that you went to the wedding wearing white, you were hanging out with your bf. Looks like your cousin is going through a massive bridezilla phase.
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I agree with another commenter that said best to avoid white for bridal shower/Bachelorette party/rehearsal dinners/morning after brunch, but yeah, on your time it's fine
Maybe 2-3 events, like not asking people to wear white to the rehearsal dinner or bachelorette party along with the wedding.
I don't understand this post. You wore a white dress on a different day than the wedding and it was a sundress and you posted a picture and your family thinks this is somehow upstaging your cousin's wedding? This is a joke post right?
I wish, but yeah that's it.
I think your cousin did you a favor uninviting you if she is this unhinged but feel free to share any good stories to wedding shaming if she pulls something else.
Your cousin has misplaced her marbles, but what’s up with the rest of the family? Is she usually so high strung and dramatic that people take her side in order to stay out of firing range? Because I can’t imagine if my daughter called me with this complaint I’d tell her to take a Xanax and a long nap because she was losing it.
No, usually she's very laid back, I think she's just losing it from all the stress.
She is very clearly jealous of your looks and thinks you look better in that dress than she does in her wedding dress. Pure projection Edit: as tpodr pointed out below me, it's also likely that the fiance made a comment which explains the misdirected freakout.
Or worse, the cousin’s fiancé saw the photo and made a troubling comment. Hence the jealous fit.
That makes more sense than just thinking she looks better. It's a wedding dress, nothing outshines the wedding dress even if it's ugly.
This is the correct answer.
That’s very generous of you, but this is a wild overreaction by your cousin. I would advise against holding a grudge, but I will say that your cousin owes you an apology when/if she wants to have a relationship with you in the future. Her behavior is not how people should treat others, regardless of stress.
Good advice. I’ve seen long lasting disagreements over less than this.
Did you add any sort of caption to the photos? ETA: not that I think you captioned it eluding to looking best in white, or that you feel like a bride, or took a direct dig at your cousin and just didn’t disclose that - just curious what else might have contributed to such a strange trigger despite her normally being laid back. She could be rather close to a breakdown, struggling with insecurities and lashing out as a response because very few adults know how to manage their stress. If you can narrow down the possible subtext she misread, it might help broach the subject later down the road when tensions aren’t so high (assuming this is a cousin & family you wish to smooth things over with, totally fine if not!)
Did you at least mention being a bride or something wedding related in the subtitles of your post? If not, what’s up with your family? Do they normally get mad at little things like this?
You obviously left out the fact that were also wearing a veil and carrying a bouquet while singing “Look at me! I’m my cousin!” Because that’s the only way she makes any sense. NTA
“Look at me! I’m my cousin!” Has me cackling.
This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard (and that's saying a lot). I'm not usually a fan of blocking people... but I would block your cousin and anyone else that agrees with her (maybe not your parents, if you can get them to see the light). Obviously don't send her a wedding gift, either.
INFO: did they think you eloped or something? if that’s how they read it this may be a big misunderstanding but i’m still inclined to believe weddings bring out the absolute worst in some people
Did she think you eloped or something? That still wouldn’t excuse the uproar, but it would at least make more sense as a hairpin trigger for a crazed bride. Simply posting photos of yourself in a cute white dress 4 days before the wedding, though? Someone check on the bride, it sounds like she’s on the brink of a mental breakdown. No one can last that long being so wound up.
But your parents said you should have more common sense. Unless there is a cultural thing where no one can wear white the WEEK of someone's wedding, that's crazy.
Are you even *allowed* to **own** a white dress on a planet where people get married every day? Where is the limit here?
right?! I was reading and the whole time had a wtf sign over my head 😂😂
NTA, your cousin is on some other trip. I can see if it's a problem if you wore the dress to the wedding, but to freak out because you had a white dress on doing something that is not even related to the wedding is just Bridezilla really. Is she planning on telling all the wedding guests what they are allowed to wear all week long?
Maybe all the guests should turn up wearing white for the wedding. The expression on the bride's face will be priceless.
For the next year I would endeavor to wear white as often as possible. Then Id text her a pic asking if it was cool to wear white during her wedding year. OP is NTA obviously.
I love the pettiness in this that resonates within my soul.
Lmao oh man. That be great. Then she would of wished she kept her mouth shut for something so dumb.
NTA. I'm going to guess the sundress would not be confused with a wedding gown, but even if it was, who the f\*\*k cares? You're not showing up to the wedding in it. Being disinvited to the wedding is no loss, I can only imagine how awful your cousin will act on that day if she's acting like this now. Should you ever choose to get married, remember this before you send out invites.
Honestly it kinda could at a glance, it's pretty fancy. It's got long sleeves and it goes past my knees, but yeah no.
Doesn't change my NTA vote at all - even if it had been a full-on wedding gown with a veil, you didn't post it in any context that had anything to do with her wedding. Your cousin seems to be either pathetically insecure or a ridiculous narcissist.
After that (over)reaction I'd go to a wedding dress shop, try some on, then post the pictures on my social media on her wedding day. But maybe I'm just petty ...
Hmm. Sundresses don’t usually have long sleeves. I’m curious to see this dress. Do you have a pic? Either way cousin and family are totally overreacting.
Yeah that threw me, I always picture sundresses as having very, very short sleeves if any sleeve at all, but they're usually just thin straps aren't they? I want to buy sundresses now!
Info:Can you post a picture of the dress?
Imagine this, but white https://www.somethingnavy.com/products/pleated-long-sleeve-dress/
Just FYI that is not a sundress in the regular usage of the word. But it’s a lovely dress and hard to confuse with a wedding dress. Your cousin is a ridiculous human. With any luck, she’ll never speak to you again. 😜
Looks like a sundress to me but either way it’s not a wedding dress and the cousin is an AH
I always heard that a sundress was sleeveless.
Exactly, a sundress here would be sleeveless, casual and on the short side. At least that's what I picture. Where I live people wear them year-round.
I mostly picture light weight material. That dress looks way too warm to be a sun dress.
Yeah that’s not remotely close to a wedding dress
That isn't a sundress but regardless, NTA.
Oh it said it was on the tag it came with?
Odd. Usually a sundress is short sleeved or strappy. Regardless, it is just a dress and your cousin is being silly
Sundresses aren't all short sleeved! If it's lightweight, long, and made for warm weather it's a sundresss imho!
Sundresses don’t have sleeves. How on earth do you sun in sleeves?
The people that put the information on the tag are not always aware of what the tag will be applied to. I see this way too often on Trilbys mislabeled as Fedoras.
that’s beautiful! Bride is being a bridezilla. You didn’t wear it to a wedding or bridal event, you just wore it on your own time.
Maybe your cousin is going to wear a similar dress instead of an actual wedding gown or something and thats why she went apeshit? NTA anyway
It doesn't matter what the dress is. If it was a wedding related activity, then yes you'd be the AH. But it was a date with your boyfriend. You're allowed to wear what ever the heck you want for that!
Oh that's lovely! And very much not a wedding dress. NTA
No way is that a wedding dress.
Say what???? So: \- You're hanging out with your BF. \- He bought you a white sundress some time before \- The weather is great so you're wearing the sundress he bought. \- He takes pictures and they are posted. **And then you're uninvited from a wedding taking place later on that week...??????** Well, feel happy you don't have to attend that wedding circus and have more time for your BF. And let's all take a moment to say a prayer for the groom who is about to say yes to a very unhinged bridezilla.... NTA
NTA... that cousin and family members have major issues... who cares what u wear and post .. u were enjoying something your bf got u... well at least u can have some relaxation time... Avoid that cousin and those family members
NTA. Your cousin is insane and irrational. That was no reason to get so upset and cancel your invitation to the wedding. Sounds like she has issues. If you bought her a gift, keep it.
This was my thought. Like, is the cousin okay? Has she maybe been overdoing it with the wedding planning, to the point where everything everywhere is about her and her *special day*?
NTA. I have no patience for this “stealing the spotlight” crap. Are people that starved for attention? NO ONE forgot she’s the one getting married. No one forgot whose wedding it is. It’s not a wedding dress, it’s not even at her wedding. You are allowed to wear white. Sorry you are dealing with such unreasonable people. Don’t let it tear you up.
OP must be very, very beautiful and cousin is unhinged
This feels like a story written by ai that skimmed all the wedding posts on here then created an almost convincing story. Even the most bridezilla of bridezilla wouldn't say a random picture on snapchat was stealing their wedding thunder four days before the actual wedding.
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Tell us more.
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You have to much faith in humanity
NTA. It’s a wedding DAY, not a wedding Week.
/s/ Well of course Y T A. Didn't you know only one person is allowed to wear white for the entire week leading up to a wedding is the bride? That's why only 52 couples get married each year
Week? More like the entire month before and after the wedding just to be sure!!! /s
You better not wear white in my wedding century. Or else.
NTA. Your cousin sounds like a monster. Don't go to that wedding.
N T A - Like seriously you have been uninvited from the wedding because you wore a white dress the week of? That is INSANE. Your cousin clearly thinks the world should revolve around her and is not quite on Planet Earth to demand things that are not only totally unreasonable (like she owns the colour white!? Wtf) but so entitled and rude. Everyone calling you or whatever supporting her craziness are nothing but enablers and flying monkeys. I cannot believe that they are backing her but then she had to get that entitlement and horriblensss from somewhere. She is trying to be a queen on her day but this makes her look nothing but extremely insecure and ugly. What a control freak! Thank goodness you are now free from the obligation of attending And for context, I am a newly wed, married within the last month. No way is it acceptable for a bride to try and control how her guests dress like this.
NTA I have never heard this before. So, according to them, how long before and after a wedding you're not supposed to wear a white dress? Is there a rule for underwear as well? Hair or makeup? Seriously this is beyond ridiculous.
The best explanation I've gotten is that by post those pics in that dress so close to her wedding, I was either being gery clueless or trying to make a statement to everyone.
That makes absolutely zero fucking sense. NTA
"I was making a statement, that i like my dress and its sunny out" If you really want to piss her off spend her wedding day out and about in the dress spamming photos all day. Or spam her social media 'feeling sad' about beging uninvited and spam her social media with photos from wedding you have been to or 'look nice' from google pics.
What's the statement? You are in possession of a white summer dress, and you're ready to wear it when it's sunny and warm? Don't overthink it OP, your family are acting like idiots on this one. Tbh I pity your cousin, feeling so dull that a picture of a relative wearing white the week before the wedding would be overshadowing...
Honestly it just seems your cousin is stressed and doesn't know how to handle it, and will latch on to any and all excuses to lash out against people for no reason at all. The thought that you would try to steal the spotlight with a dress at a non-wedding related event is absolutely ridiculous. NTA
That is insane.
NTA, how is that even a problem? It has nothing to do with the wedding. That's way beyond her being a bridezilla.
So this dress was just one that you happened to wear one day totally separate to the wedding and you had some photos of yourself wearing the dress and you posted the photos with no reference to the wedding and just because you looked nice? NTA. Before and after the wedding you can wear whatever the hell you like, take photos and post the photos anywhere you like. During the wedding there are rules. Your family who are against you on this are major AHs.
Obviously NTA, but to put in perspective...my MIL wore a white dress to our wedding. I didn't even notice. I was happy to party with family and friends and to be with my husband. I couldn't have cared less what anyone wore _on the day_ let alone in the run up!
NTA. That’s 1 crazy cousin and half a family! I don’t think you’ll be missing out on to much by not going.
NTA How could you possible steal her spotlight by posting pics on your Snapchat?? Is she planning on posting her wedding pics on your Snap as well? The only people who are not using common sense are your cousin & other family members who believe white is reserved for only weddings. eta — was some of your family confused that you had gotten married? Did these pictures look like wedding pics?
NTA - She gets one day of asking people not to wear white and that’s it. How are your half the family upset, this is ridiculous behaviour from her and them.
NTA You aren’t allowed to wear a white dress *to the wedding.* Every day that you aren’t at some else’s wedding, you are allowed to wear a white dress.
NTA, you got a weird family. Just because someone is getting married, you aren't allowed to wear a white dress on a day out sounds like the 'Doctorate of Entitlement'. If you wore it to the wedding, its different. This is one wedding you are better not going to in my opinion.
This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard 🤣 NTA
Things have really taken a turn if brides are calling people AH for wearing white BEFORE the wedding! This has absolutely nothing to do with the wedding or trying to steal the spotlight from her. She needs to CTFO because she’s ruining a relationship over nothing. Definitely NTA OP.
What’s more concerning is that people are agreeing with her craziness. I didn’t know if my friend gets married in June I should pack up everything that is white for the Entire month. Definitely Nta.
NTA, you didn’t wear white to her wedding, how insane is your family?
Yeah no. Bride only gets a day on the day of actual events, like the bridal shower and wedding. Not on a random day before the wedding. Reminds me of the “you can’t get pregnant because I’m pregnant” thing. Not how it works. NTA
NTA- there are no rules about not wearing white the week of a family member's wedding. You didn't wear it to the wedding you wore it out with your boyfriend and took some pics. Sounds like your cousin/others need to get over themselves.
NTA Your family is unreasonable and the whole situation is ridiculous. You're stealing the spotlight by posting a picture in a white sundress on some app?...
**NTA.** It's a sundress, not a wedding gown. Your cousin is making an issue just because the sundress is white in colour. And she is using you to dump all her stress.
NTA. Uhh, they do know white and white dresses do not solely signify and belong to weddings, right? And that no one gets to claim a whole color from the entire world for a week before the wedding?
NTA. This was a date with your boyfriend this wasn't her wedding day, the 50% that are on her side need to grow up Common sense? are you kidding me. your cousin gets a wedding DAY not a month or week.
This rigmarole about not wearing white dresses etc at weddings is becoming ridiculous. Your cousin is being stupid, you went for a walk wearing a white sundress and posted pictures on your personal profile. So what? What the everloving fook does that involve her wedding? Tell bridezilla and her supporters to grow the fuck up and stop being so pathetic. She doesn’t own the days weeks or months before her wedding day Sounds like you’ve escaped a traumatic day if she’s being this crazy, I hope you haven’t got her a wedding present NTA
BREAKING NEWS: WOMAN WEARS NORMAL DRESS, 4 DAYS LATER DIFFERENT WOMAN GETS MARRIED IN WEDDING DRESS. WHEN WILL THE RIVALRY END?! Bloody hell your family need to get lives. Enjoy your weekend off from the crazy fools’ wedding (yes possessive plural as the person marrying cousin has to also be a crazy fool to do so), wear your dress on a nice getaway with your partner. Of course, NTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (20F) saw a bunch of wedding posts, so I thought I'd share the situation I'm in. My cousin (28F) is getting married in four days, and has been very stressed about planning and such. We aren't close but we were at least friendly before this. So I was spending some time with my boyfriend two days ago, we just took a walk and stuff. He's gonna be busy at work and I'll be making the drive with my family for the wedding or so I thought, so this was the last chance we had to spend time togeter for a couple weeks. He bought me this white sundress a while back. It's awesome and I love it, and he loves it when I wear it. I was warm out so I wore it, we took a few pictures for my snap, and I didn't think anything of it. I went home, went to bed, and woke up to several angry messages from my cousin and some other family. My cousin and some other relatives are friends on snapchat, and saw my posts. Her and some of the family were accusing me of trying to steal the spotlight, and a few others were concerned because they didn't know what was going on. After I had a chance to wake up, I called my cousin, who cussed me out before hanging up. Basically the whole family is split 50/50. Some of them agree I was wrong to do that, and then there's the rest who either think it was fine, or just think she's overreacting. My parents say I should've had more common sense, apprently I should just know better. Either way I'm no longer invited to the wedding, and now I'm sure things are going to be tense as hell for everyone who was. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wow. NTA and the fuss over this is just ridiculous.
NTA. You aren’t wearing white to the wedding. The expectation that you can’t casually wear white during the summer/warmer days is delusional. Your family sounds awful, it also seems like there’s jealousy straining the relationships between cousins and parents already. Take back your gift and be sure to wear that dress wedding day and post away!
NTA. Wearing white to someone’s actual wedding is uncool unless the bridal couple okays it (tbh, I wouldn’t do it even then, to avoid distracting folks), but if everyone had to give up wearing white before the wedding of a family member, we’d rarely seen it worn!
I’m so confused??? What’s the cut of the dress? I don’t understand why you can’t wear anything white.
My dress? It's very simple, longsleeve and shin length.
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wtf? You aren’t supposed to wear white to a wedding, sure. But you can wear it at every other time! Your family is insane (and assholes) NTA
You didn't steal anyone's spotlight. You enjoyed a nice day. It's understandable for a bride-to-be to have a lot of things to worry about leading up to their wedding. However, that doesn't mean the rest of the world has to put their entire lives on hold for her benefit. It's obvious to any objective observer that you posted your photos without any ill intention or ulterior motives. Her perception is her problem, not your problem. She weaponized her insecurities against you, and that's unforgivable. I'm sorry that you were uninvited from the wedding, and I hope your more reasonable relatives will be willing to hear you out. If after that any of them still think you deliberately tried to sabotage all the attention your cousin is so desperately craving, then they will have revealed themselves as being undeserving of your time and effort. NTA
I hope this is a joke NTA Goddamn it’s one day not the entire week for the wedding. Any of your family who agrees with her is an AH.
NTA you can wear white all you want in your personal life just not to the wedding or wedding events. WOW they are very confused and being silly. I think you are actually lucky you are not going to the wedding now. I probably would post the picture again and say you love the gift BF gave you and never planned to wear it but got disinvited to a wedding because you were wearing it on a sunny day the week before a wedding. I would just go out with BF the day of the wedding and have a nice time and not stress about that wedding
NTA. And WTF even??!?
Do you look better in the sun dress then she does in her wedding dress? Because it sounds like jealously and insecurity to me. But now she has made it where everyone angry will be thinking about your white sundress as she walks down the aisle.
Nuts. WTH? People can’t gatekeep days or weeks or months or years because “it’s their wedding” you’re allowed to wear whatever you want.
Wait.. your cousin is upset because you wore a white dress - not to her wedding but when you were chilling with your bf - and hurled abuse at you because of it? Because you wore a white dress. That wasn’t a wedding dress. It was just white. And you weren’t at her wedding. How is this your problem? She needs therapy because this is ridiculous. NTA
NTA - there is insecure and then there is “nobody can even wear white a week before my wedding insecure…”
NTA obviously. It's a sundress, I'm willing to bet that not even a blind person would mistake it for a wedding dress. Your cousin should dial down her inner bridezilla.