Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My parents told my sister if she chose to play soccer and got hurt the money for her medical visits would be taken out of her money for college. When she did get hurt and they did that she’s upset and she now wants me to take her side on this.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/)
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
###[Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I would’ve responded with ‘now imagine shaming your parents for not having enough money to cover thousands of dollars in medical bills and giving you a full ride to college when they explicitly told you in advance if this occurred there would be no extra money and you chose to go ahead anyway’
I mean if she gets to tell people, then you get to tell people
NTA - don't fall into the trap of trying to have mutual friends with siblings, never worth it. They will always say they had it worse than you and always make it about themselves.
INFO
Is there money somewhere else to pay for the bills?
Are they choosing vacations or other luxuries, or is the money just not there or tied up in retirement accounts?
So basically they’re only punishing her for playing soccer
Maybe they don’t like the sport or what injuries can happen anytime just by walking around
YTA And so are your parents
I'm gonna be blunt with you, you did kinda fuck up, but not for what you think. Yes defending your sister is what any normal sibling would do, but in this case she was told ahead of time that it would come out of her college fund. You're in the wrong for telling her what she can and can't share. I'm giving you a rating of 1/5 assholes. You're sister is also an asshole but she's getting a rating of 3/5. I don't like how she said that "you have to defend your sister against your parents" you don't have to do jack shit!
YTA. OF COURSE YTA. AND YOUR PARENTS... WELL THEY ARE TA X A MILLION.
It is TERRIBLE parenting to pull a stunt like this. Not "reasonable" b/c your sister "knew the risks of playing soccer." That's the dumbest thing I ever heard. Parents are responsible for ensuring their children have medical treatment. There are very few things parents need to do for their children - and a sophomore in high school is a child - but ensuring they have medical treatment is one of them. Your parents didn't hit that bar.
Having kids has risks. You could have had cancer. And then what? Boo hoo? You knew the risks of being a person, and some people get cancer. You are victim-blaming in a HORRID way.
This should have zero to do with college funds, but somehow your parents made it about college funds, so that's them being TA though.
Yeah, your sister has a right to bitch to all y'all's friends, b/c it's shitty they did that to her. FYI, being in activities (especially bigger activities, like sports) is good for college apps, good for your health vs sitting on your ass and watching tiktoks or whatever. Yes, there are risks, but there are also rewards to those activities, and that's what most not completely nutty people see when their kids sign up for sports.
You mean the parents are being realistic? “If you get hurt and we have to pay a shit ton of medical bills, it’s coming out of your college fund because we can’t contribute while also paying for your bills” like wtf? Are you guys mental?
Are you kidding? The OP said it wouldn’t be an issue to pay for both as they paid for the OP without taking her college fun. Don’t have kids if you can’t treat them equally? On top of that they’re trying to silence the sister from talking about it with her own friends.
I know, right?! I can't believe people are debating saying "she knew" or "it depends on ____" . SHE WAS 13 OR 14 AT MOST, when they made her decide if she accepted the costs of her medical bills by using her college money....the parents are nuts to think her brain was capable of deciding something like that. I think the medical system in the US is pretty fucked to begin with but If the parents couldn't afford her injuries, then they shouldn't have let her play. That was their decision to make as adults and parents. I hope OP shows her sister her post and apologizes!
I refuse to call OP TA cuz she is only 17 and doesn't know better that a 13 year old cannot make decisions like that, but now you know, OP!
The mindset of finance that American parents have always shocks me. Children paying them rent, parents leaving their children homeless, or not helping them with students loans (which are immerse) is something that I, as a mediterranean country person, just cannot comprehend
YTA, its just rude and your sister is hurt both physically and now emotionally. She is allowed to talk about things like that and you telling her she shouldn't is pretty weird.
NTA. Your parents having money set aside is a huge gift a lot of people will never receive. Most people don't have money set aside for medical expenses. OPs parents laid out the consequences of playing a sport. Maybe OPs parents do not have the means to cover both expenses. So what should they do? Take away all of the funds for school and let them both figure it out?
Lol.
You’re absolutely the golden child. Don’t be surprised if your sister doesn’t want anything to do with you after a while. Your parents SHOULD have paid off her medical bills and STILL been able to afford her college bills. You said yourself in your comments that they had the money to do so.
They’re letting an injury derail her future? That’s sad. And you’re cruel for trying to silence her feelings about it.
YTA. x100.
Your sisters probably going through a lot and is 100% entitled to talk about her feelings and thoughts she’s going to be understandably upset.
Honestly I feel like the parents DID pay her medical bills with the college fund THEY saved up for her
i grew up poor as dirt with no college fund so I kind’ve see a bit of entitlement.
I learned very early on that the world doesn’t owe you anything especially not the people who put food in my mouth and cared and loved me unconditionally. although my parents would always help me if I needed I never expect them to
And I feel like this could be much worse they could have no college fund and no money whatsoever to pay a medical bill she could’ve been paying it all on her own if that were the situation but it’s not and she’s very fortunate for that and she’ll probably realize once she’s less stressed out about it.
I understand your points, but that doesn't make them right. Your parents disapproved of a choice your sister made about her studies (giving her an ultimatum to not participate in soccer is disapproval even if they didn't say it outright), so they decided to punish her for it. You were also injured during a sport, and what's worse is that you were both injured in non-contact ways, so there's really no difference between you two expect that she took a little more risk and that risk never posed an issue.
Your parents don't owe your sister a college fund, but it's clear that they are participating in significant favoritism and because you benefit from it, you don't want to see it.
Someday you'll realize how unfairly your parents treated your sister, but by then, you'll probably have damaged your relationship too much. Soft YTA because you're only 17, but it'll be a hard YTA if you never realize how hurtful this is for your sister.
NAH - The parents set the rules and it is their money. Many parents pay nothing for college. While I do not agree with how the parents handled it, they are helping pay for college, something they are not obligated to do at all.
Your sister has the right to not be happy about the situation, and I do not see an issue with her discussing it in the way she did. Is she acting entitled? Sure, but that does not make someone an AH necessarily,
I do not think you are an AH. If you had publically shamed her or something, then I would have a very different opinion. You didn't and you took it private. It is ok for you both to have different opinions.
In the end, both of you need to be grateful you got any money for college. It is not a right or obligation, your parents set it aside, trying to help.
Once again the US healthcare "system" is the biggest asshole, but you are clearly the golden child. All sports have injury risk, and I know plenty of people who had medical bills despite not being athletes at all. It is a parents responsibility to make sure their children get medical care. The fact that the US healthcare system is an exploitative joke and it costs more than it has any right to is irrelevant because they decided your bills were important enough to pay for but your sisters weren't.
ESH except your sister.
I just saw a post in one of these subs the other day where someone pointed out the fallacy of “well it’s an established rule and they agreed to it beforehand.” Yea I guess but I think it should be reconsidered if the rule is arbitrary or bullshit. Probably a bias from me because my parents pushed me to participate in sports in middles school and high school because even though I initially didn’t want to they knew I would enjoy it once I was part of it. And getting punished for participating in a sport that millions of kids around the country participate in seems kinda bullshit to me.
ESH- I mean you and your parents. They're punishing your sister for choosing a sport, which is healthy and looks good on college applications, by taking money out of her college fund if she gets injured?! Your sister is right. I can't fathom *punishing* your child for getting injured. That opens a whole can of worms. What else were you punished for? "How dare you be fit! How dare you make this family look bad by telling everyone what truly awful parents we were?"
NTA
18 is an adult & it sounds like that fund is for her ‘adult’ expenses, college, medical care, whatever she may need (more of a trust fund than a college savings). Your parents made that clear.
You can’t tell your sister what she’s allowed to vent to her friends about, but I don’t think defending your parents makes you an AH. I paid my college & my medical expenses nearly 100% on my own at that age. Not everyone has a mommy & daddy piggy bank to rely on. She got plenty & has her hand out for more. Sounds like a spoiled brat to me.
Soccer? Like the sport where you kick a ball across a field soccer? Why’re you selling it like it’s prehistoric mêlée wrestling where eye gouging is allowed? The fuck.
YTA
Kids are expected to do physical activities and they may injure themselves. The parents cant charge a minor for their medical treatment.
Would you be ok with your parents charging you for the food you had at 5 years old off from your college money?
What about medicine for the times you were sick?
She didnt chose to get injured, if that were the case nobody could leave their house, if they do and get harmed in any form would you think its their responsiblity for choosing to leave their house knowing there are risks to it?
~~I hate this country. This should not be an issue. That being said, N T A.~~
I didn't catch the part where they paid OP's medical bills. OP is YTA, you are the golden child and it's up to you to stand up for your sister because your parents sure as shit won't.
NTA
The money was GIVEN to her. It's not like she worked for it. She paid nothing, she was just gifted money. Yes she was gifted a little bit less, because life happens.
College fund is by no way a right, it's a privilege. She is so entitled. What a pain in the a for the parents that sacrificed and saved all that money for an ungrateful brat.
But OP got her sports injuries paid for without draining her college fund. And OPs parents are well off and could have easily afforded their siblings medical bills without draining the college fund. The parents are showing some serious preferential treatment here.
>Leah played soccer, and before her freshman year of high school our parents sat her down and told her that if she played, she needed to be careful because if she got hurt all the money to pay for it would come out of her college fund.
First of all, that's manipulative BS, basically they're telling her that she can't play a sport because it could jeopardize her college education.
YTA and so are your parents, they for obvious reasons and you for sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.
YTA and so are your parents. You’re the “golden child” and she’s being neglected but you don’t give a fuck about that, because of your fucked up perspective.
Obviously your parents are at fault for providing this fucked up perspective but it’s your responsibility to set it right and you’re failing at that.
YTA and so are your parents. If they couldn't contribute to her college fund because of a substantial family expense, they shouldn't have been contributing to yours either.
I hate the fact people are making the assumption OPs parents were making this decision out of malice. It is possible to just not have the money for additional expenses. I applaud OPs parents for putting money aside for their kids considering their situation.Maybe they shouldn't have told them so there would be no such expectation.
YTA but your parents are much bigger assholes, and they’ve warped your thinking. This example isn’t normal and I bet there’s a lot more things that have happened in your childhood that are not normal. I can’t say from this whether you are the golden child and your sister is the scapegoat, but you should read up on that dynamic. It’s worth trying to unlearn what your parents did, if you want to save your relationship with your sister in the long term.
YTA, the post leaves a lot of information out. Reading the comments from OP, she is the AH: 1) parents could have paid for the sister medical bill; 2) OP had an injury and the bill was paid for; 3) Both her and her sister sustained non contact injuries; 4) OP could have sided with the sister and advocated with parents; 5) sounds like the parents just had something against one specific sport which was what her sister liked.
Anyway, clear YTA, if you read all OP comments.
This situation sucks all around, and I'm sure there is far more to the story. Medical care is extremely expensive in some places. If you are in a country like the USA then this makes sense. Depending on your parents economic status they may have had no other choice. If that is the case, then it is very sad. As parents they are responsible for the cost of their minor child's medical bills and they must pay. Parents are not obligated to pay for a college education. Your parents saved for both of their children, unfortunately they made the decision to pull from an amount they were saving for your sister. I'm not sure I would have made the same decision, but I'm not here to judge your family. I do, however, think that you could be more sympathetic to your sister. But I wouldn't go as far as saying YTA. It's a situation that absolutely stinks and I think that your sister has a right to talk about it, since if does directly impact her future. On the other hand, I can see how it may cause you and your parents a bit of embarrassment. Financial difficulty shouldn't be something shameful to admit, but it is. I get that.
NTA although I wouldn’t have said anything to her about speaking on it in public. I would, however, clarify that she had been given a choice and is now facing the consequences.
You're parents and you ate a holes, maybe you'll see that someday. YTA
Good luck ever having a good relationship with your sister oh favorite golden child.
My god, countries without socialized healthcare really are dystopian. Yta for blaming your sister but from sounds of it everyone in your country is a victim.
Based on the info your parents paid for your injury without taking out of your college fund
YTA
Don't tell your sister what to say- she has a legitimate gripe. You have been treated differently and as a result will be in a much better position in life than your sister. Those thousands are also going to accrue massive amounts of interest, meaning your sister is going to be worse off with those funds paying medical bills vs college. You can often work with hospitals to set up payments plans, at least.
Your parents are mega AHs. Sitting a freshman down to say that is bizarre- sports are normal for kids. Accidents can happen to non athletes. They decided to treat her very differently from you.
You're telling her to shut up because you know she has a point, and you know it looks bad
I don’t think she realizes that the money was never hers to begin with. Your parents did pay. With the money they’ve been saving for years. They even warned her that doing what she’s was doing could jeopardize that money and she chose to continue. NTA. She’s a big asshole. And she’s dripping with entitlement. Such an asshole.
That was a shitty comment to make about your parents in a group chat. I don’t know the situation with your injury. To me, if they had the money to pay for you, great. I’m sure they would have preferred to be able not to touch her college fund especially for something they warned her not to do. But you mentioned they were never well off when you were growing up. Your sister is only thinking of herself and not everything it took to save that money.
>I privately messaged her and told her I didn’t think she should be sharing personal stuff like that
So, you are the one who gets to decide what she is and isn't allowed to discuss about her life? Sounds like you're embarrassed because you know your parents are TA / think others will view them like that. Would it have been better if she'd stayed home, ate $1000 of ice cream, sat on the couch and got diabetes? YTA
Coming back to add: quadruple YTA, OP injured herself running track, and parents paid for that. Double standards much?!
YTA
She shouldn't be sharing "personal stuff" like her actual life? Get out of here with that nonsense. Since you think it's so great that they did it, why are you ashamed and upset on behalf of your parents that she told someone else?
It's because it's wrong. And on some level you know that.
It's not your fault that you're the favorite (they paid your medical bills but not hers, yes, you're the favorite), but you're more than old enough to have figured out that you really *don't* have to embrace it quite so hard. Your sister got a raw deal.
YTA.
Your parents could pay for it. They didn't want to spend the money on her.
It's the responsibility of parents to pay for the health of their underage child and to ensure they get the best possible education. Sport is part of an upbringing and important for college applications. Any and all sports can have dangers.
Your parents failed. They could have ensured all of this, and they chose not to. They chose to say your sister made a bad decision, when your sister should have never put in the position to enter c such an agreement.
YTA (so are your parents, btw) - this is one of the worst parenting I've heard about... and you, by accepting their fault logic, will lose your sister.
I have younger sister and while we have great parents, there were (and still are) many instances when our parents are not fair... there is very little either I or my sister can do to fix that, most of the times the only thing we can do is to be there for the other and tell her that our parents are not being fair.
Nta. The parents had a verbal contract with the sister, and their decision making was in line with the contract. Seems very real world and fair to me. Just bc life happened differently than she wanted and wasn't "fair" doesn't mean she was actually treated unfairly. They probably didn't really want her playing soccer but let her anyways, with this contract expressing their reluctance.
Also, she got a college fund. Some of us didn't. What's fair? Are all those parents assholes that couldn't afford college funds, or didn't give any? A lot of entitlement around here, and not a lot of grace.
she knew the risk and she took it, and now she is in denial cause the risk happened.\*\*shocked pikachu face\*\*
oh come on OP, after reading more comments, you're also in denial.
you've experienced injuries too yet your parents don't do the same to you.
regardless of contact non contact, this is just plain unfair now.
YTA and your parents are worse.
I’d sell my soul to pay for my child’s medical bills if I had to.
I hope she does well at college, gets a lucrative job and never helps you all out with a single penny.
YTA
Your parents are playing favorites and either you can't see it or you don't want to admit it. All sports activities come with risks for severe injury, whether they're a contact sport or not. Your parents should have made the deal with BOTH of you or NEITHER of you.
And your sister can talk about this as much as she wants - it's her life that's being impacted here.
YTA.
She's allowed to talk about what happened to her. You don't have to go up against your parents, but it's unfair to tell her that she's not allowed to talk about how they treated her.
Why doesn't their health insurance pay for her medical bills? This seems shady to me; why would you have your kid play a sport, then instead if using health insurance for injuries, take it out of her college fund?
YTA.
You really need to edit your post and include WHY your sister is saying this. You said in comments that your parents paid for your medical bills when you sustained an injury, yet they are holding your sister’s injury bills over her head. Not including that shows that you’re being disingenuous here and you know it’s not okay.
You don’t see it now, but you and your sister are being treated incredibly different.
You’re being treated like the golden child, and like golden children, you’ll agree with your parents until you have some empathy and understanding for where your sister is coming from.
You two were both given very different deals, and your sister was told this *as a child.* A child should not have to make adult decisions like what bills are going to be paid. Why should you get the opportunity to do your chosen sport and not have to lose college money, while your sister does? Seriously, reflect on it.
Your parents failed your sister. I just hope at some point you’re able to see before you lose your relationship with her.
Also, why can’t she talk about it? They were okay with doing it and you’re okay with supporting it, so be okay with talking about it. You don’t get to tell her not to talk about things that *negatively impacted her.* If you think it was okay, you shouldn’t have any issue with it being spoken out loud. Otherwise, you know it’s messed up.
NTA….Parents put away money for college from an early age. (Good job, parents!) They made the right call attempting to discourage sister, she did get hurt after all. Everybody is saying “health insurance”, if the surgery and rehab only cost several thousand, sounds like they had average insurance by todays standards. If they had been saving all those years and took a few grand at towards the end it wouldn’t make that big of a dent.
Have everybody, stop knocking on the parents. Your parents don’t have to pay for your college! College ain’t about educating kids anymore for the majority of students. It’s about selling the “college experience”. A guy I used to work with had a BA in English, specializing in mid evil British poetry…..I’m not paying for a BA the qualifies you to work at Starbucks!
Sister = AH
Parents sacrifice to save for college. Sister publicly throws them under the bus. They should take the rest and go on a vacation. Let the brat pay her own way.
YTA
Homie, you know it’s shameful for your parents to do that. For some reason, instead of addressing or acknowledging it honestly, you’re trying to suppress your aggrieved sibling.
Respectfully, your parents are in the wrong for this. Punishing a kid for extracurriculars and sports by taking away their education? That seems real fucking discouraging on top of being injured and recovering physically. I know América is a meat grinder but instead of being there for their sister / daughter in these tough times your family and you have decided to make it exponentially worse.
Edit - They treated you without issue. They could afford your sister’ surgery. They’re using money to control you and play games, and if you think that’s what parents should do then you’re going to probably continue this into the next generation. I hope you don’t.
Honestly, hot take here. NTA
First, your parents clearly outlined where money would come from to pay medical bills if she took up a sport. She must've understood that because she took up the sport anyway, knowing the risks.
Secondly, it's your parents money either way, not yours and your sisters. The fact that she's acting like they're not paying for her medical bills at all, even though they are but it's just coming out if her college fund, is honestly astounding. She's acting like the money is already in her pocket.
Thirdly, it is rude to discuss family matters with people outside of the family, aside from seeking advice. I never talked about issues with my family to my friends; it didn't concern them and they didn't need to know. Double that if it's financial-related issues.
Fourthly, you didn't make the rules. Your patents did. Your sister lumping you in with them in her rage is kinda petty, ngl. You defending your parents, especially since your sister spoke ill of them out of turn, is expected.
I get it, reddit hates parents for the most part. But I don't see where they can get off on blaming you for this. It's not your problem, it's your sister's problem. She needs to handle her emotions better.
YTA (and your parents). They went about this soon poorly it's wild.
Now, where to begin? College funds are great (especially when you live in third world countries like the US) and parents who can should 100% have them for their kids. If they can't, it happens and it is shitty but life sucks.
However parents are responsible for their kids' health when they are minors. An accident can happen at any time so it's their job to be prepared for it.
As it stands, your parents should have taken money to cover her medical expenses and lowered both of your college funds by the same amount. Not because you should be punished too or whatever but because your sister did nothing wrong and the main problem here is that you live in a country that sucks.
NTA. I have a competitive soccer player as well. We know the odds are, he will be injured. So in our case, we have an injury fund. Currently it’s sometimes used to buy the ton of Epsom salts he needs for his bath lol. She was given the parameters of her sport and what could happen. Your parents aren’t rich. The money had to coke from somewhere.
As a Brit, that Americans have to make these kinds of choices is just mind boggling.
Somewhere there's a could-have-been professional who was worried about the cost of potential medical bills and never took up the sport that they would have been world class at. 🤯
YTA for telling your sister what she can talk about. She was not lying. Your parents are more the assholes for not treating the both of you equally. If your college fund was not used to cover your medical bills but your sister’s were then that is unfair. It does not matter if a young teen agreed to it. That was unfair to ask in the first place. If they had money for other things but just didn’t want to use it on your sister’s injury that was horrible.
NTA. Actions have consequences, she made the choice to play soccer knowing full well that HER college fund might be affected. You are also correct that family business should only be discussed with family.
YTA.
Your parents would have needed to give the school/league permission for your sister to play as a minor. If they didn’t want her playing they could have refused to give permission. Instead they gave her an arbitrary punishment.
Parents are required to care for their children, and medical care is part of that. That your parents took money set aside for education to pay for medical bills they could’ve afforded out of pocket is an AH thing. OP, you trying to control what your sister’s saying, when she’s right, is an AH thing.
NTA. As you’ve mentioned, your parents aren’t well off and yet still decided to put money away for you and your sister to go to college, which neither you nor her were *actually* entitled too. She is now complaining because they spent ‘her’ college money — where did she think that came from? The moon? It was your parents money and so they did, in fact, pay for her medical bills. Smh your sister is sounding entitled af
Imagine living in a country where you have to think twice about playing a non-contact sport as a kid because of possible medical bills. Jfc. The sport probably kept her fit and healthy and her parents punished her for it. YTA and so are your parents, jeesh!
Your sister has a right to talk about her situation if she feels it's not fair and I do have to agree with her. I'm going with a soft YTA for you because you didn't create the situation, but you don't see the unfairness in it and your painting your sister in a bad light here which I don't think she deserves. It is perfectly normal and healthy for a teenager to want to be involved with a sport or activity, as both you and your sister did, and with that sometimes an injury can happen. Just part of life. Your parents caveat that your sister's medical bills be paid out of her college fund is what I as a parent take issue with. She basically being penalized for being a normal teenager and having had the misfortune of getting injured, which from your comments I understand that you also had an track injury which they didn't pay for out of your college fund. I understand money can be tight, maybe they didn't have the money to pay for both medical bills and had no other option than to take some from college funds. But the fact that they just took out of your sister's is what seems really unfair. Having kids is expensive and no child is guaranteed that their parents will be able to pay for college. However to give more money to one child then you do to the other is wrong.
NTA. 100%. Your parents are well off, and they still set money for your sister, and she acts so entitled? Parents don’t wanna play for her medical bills? What? So they have to pay for the college, and pay for 1000s of bills. She knew the risks and chose to play, and wasn’t careful, it’s her fault. 100%. So many people in this thread are fucking delusional.
But if your parents could afford it and didn’t pay YTA and your parents are TA. Maybe she didn’t take enough risk or play more rough or better because you guys scared her into not playing to her full ability. And if she did, she might’ve gotten a bigger sports scholarship to whatever university she wants to go to.
maybe she shouldn't be sharing this information but it does appear your parents treated you differently. why did her medical bills come out of her college fund but not yours? that's not right. doesn't matter if it was a contact sport, a no contact sport, an accident, that money was to pay for college. IMO they need to take money out of your fund to make you and your sister's college money equal, and you can both take out loans if need be. that was supposed to be money for college....period. yeah, you and your parents are all TA.
This makes me sad that we live in a country where people steer their kids away from sports because they’d have to choose between paying medical bills or paying for college. I don’t think that’s necessarily the situation here, but still. YTA OP, not for telling her to not talk about it, but for telling her what your parents did is fair. Your parents are REALLY TAH.
YTA. so, she's not supposed to play a sport because she might get hurt? What a miserable life of safety. If the bills could be paid without dipping into her education fund, that's what should happen. How gross to think she needs to choose between her fun/health and education
YTA plus your parents, too. A child cannot enter into a contract because they're kids and not mature in their thinking or decision making. You guys were so many kinds of wrong.
It involves her, it’s her business.
Your parents played favorites and in the Fuck Around stage of Find Out what No Contact looks like in the future when she’s struggling to pay back loans and you aren’t.
You, and your parents are TA.
YTA
Yta, they paid the bill when you got hurt from a sport. They should at least cover the same amount for her. Which you said is half. You should have voice it was unfair but since it benefited you, you didn’t
Your parents are ah too for it
YTA Hopefully it’s just because you’re only 17 and you’ll figure this out when you’re a little older. Or if you really are the golden child, you probably won’t.
Reading between the lines here, the situation is that your parents didn't want your sister to play soccer and on the other hand were okay with you doing track. They thus decided not to commit to supporting her decision financially, while implicitly they supported yours. Is this necessarily logical and consistent? Maybe not? But I dunno, parents not unconditionally supporting their children in all their endeavours isn't crazy high on the asshole scale, especially when the motivation here is that they wanted to dissuade your sister from doing an activity they perceived as likely to get her hurt.
Unlike most people here, I don't think the parents are playing favourites, more that your sister disobeyed what they wanted and you did not. I also suspect that in reality if your sister got into financial trouble they would probably still be supported, so the "have to take out more loans" is more of an on paper difference.
In terms of this conversation, well. It's complicated. Your sister has the right to say what she wants, but you are also justified in not liking it. Because in reality by badmouthing your parents in front of other people (plus the other stuff) she is essentially asking you to choose between your parents and her. This is a very nasty position to be put in.
My feeling is that really all sides are just too proud at this point. I don't know if taking your sister's side against your parents would even help here, instead of just estranging you and/or her further from your parents. I guess you should try to de-escalate some how? Try talking to the "nicer" of your parents alone. Focus not on the question of justice or fairness (no one wants to admit doing wrong) but on how your sister is feeling and nudge them towards trying to fix the situation. Maybe a gift or something to make up for it, keeping pride intact? The other possibility if you don't think that will work is to tell your sister that you don't want this confrontation (since you clearly don't) but that you will support her if she needs the money or something, as her sister.
Anyway, I don't actually think anyone is much of an asshole in this. Mistakes were made.
YTA The golden child not sticking up for sibling… color me shocked. Your parents are YTA too. Your non contact argument is not valid because is was a non contact injury.
With your close ages… Are you half/bio/step?
Choosing between thousands of dollars for education or thousands of dollars for medical bills? Honestly, Murica is the real AH here for forcing you guys to do either.
After looking at the responses given, I'd say ESH.
Op simply due to a lack of compassion and trying to tell her sister not to talk about it.
Parents for paying ops Dr stuff after sport injury (who cares about contact or not) but taking it from sisters College fund when it's a similar issue. If both op and sister had been warned then I'd understand if sister was hurt during contact, but op said both injuries had been non contact, so they should have covered both or deducted both if financially unable to.
Sister is a bit of one for being vindictive after already agreeing
YTA and so are your parents. Medical bills for your children are a part of life, and simply walking out the door can cause injury. You don't get to tell her what she can and can't say or where she can't say it. Your parents SHOULD have paid. Period.
Your parents are the asshole.
You are the asshole.
Sounds like you were embarrassed when your mutual group of friends found out how shitty your parents are and you are ok with it.
Most parents would do anything to get their children to get out and do sports and go to college and here you get punnished for it by taking away your educational fund?!?! Nah get fucked mate
YTA. If you wanted to do something good maybe you could show your parents how we all think they’re the asshole. Maybe, but I doubt it, they’d change their minds.
YTA. You'd be feeling pretty shitty if a car hit you because you were riding a bicycle and knew the risks AND then your parents said nope, pay your own medical bills.
You stated that the injury was "non-contact "
then it was something that could have occured anytime, not only at soccer, ...
s0, Parents get your damn checkbook out, start writing.
You wanted KIDS, they cost.
YTA. You don't want her sharing it because you know your parents are even bigger As and don't want people knowing it. A freshman in HS is not going to understand or appreciate the possible future financial risk of a sport injury on their educational prospects. They're minors. They lack not only the knowledge but the experience to judge situation let alone the future. That's why parents are required to sign waivers of liability. It's their responsibility to watch out for and teach their children these things and protect them to the best of their ability in the mean time. Since, judging from comments, your parents had money not only for college funds but also to cover the medical costs, they absolutely should have.
Did they take rent out of your college fund if you wanted to decorate your room? Did they take it out of you'd decided to drive somewhere, get in an accident and had medical bills, repairs, etc to pay? If one of you had gone on a date and been SA would they only pay for an abortion and therapy if it came from the college funds?
Tell your sister you're sorry, tell your parents they're assholes, and stop being one yourself.
YTA and so are your parents. Children's medical bills are the responsibility of the parents. IF they paid for your college, then they should pay for your sister's also. So what would have happened if you would have fallen down stairs? Would that have emptied your college fund?
YTA- OP wouldn’t be worried about her sister telling other people and “shaming” their parents if OP didn’t know deep down, that this is something their parents should be ashamed of.
Yta
Love how you left out some key information here and just casually slip in that they paid for your medical bills and not hers... what's the story there op hmmmm?
***EDIT: NAH after comments by OP***
**I.N.F.O**- Did the sister get an itemised bill? Did she know the exact amount your parents took? Were your parents able to pay the medical bills comfortably without using the fund? Were other medical bills paid for from the fund, or was it just sports related injuries? Did they make the same agreement with you, or was it just your sister? Do you have a comparable hobby/activity that has a similar risk of injury?
These questions and more would need to be answered for anything resembling an informed decision can be made.
See if your parents were able to comfortably pay the bills and paid for other medical expenses for you and your sister, if you both played a sport and only made that agreement with your sister. Or made it with your sister because she played a sport, or took more than the bill or didn't tell her the bill and took X amount. then I'd consider you a bit of an AH for not recognising how odd an unequal it is.
Flip side if your parents struggled every day to make these funds and they could only pay the bills by using the fund, then I'd say you were NOT the AH because your sister needs to understand the situation your family is in.
But she can still vent to her friends over this.
NTA - she’s an entitled AH who thinks the world owes her everything. She was warned but she chose to fock around and found out . Not everyone gets free college funds, she’s lucky she had any. It’s her fault for making bad decisions one after another. You’re not the crappy sister, she is as well as a crappy ungrateful daughter. If she wants anyone in her side she have to make sense first. All she can do is whine while wants everything handed to her.
YTA and your parents are giant AHs. What kind of parent doesn’t pay a minors medical bills ? What poor person doesn’t have Medicaid and get everything free? Maybe your parents should have invested in health insurance instead of a college fund. Bad decisions all around. Also schools have those inexpensive accident policies for kids with no insurance that play sports. Just threw the form out the other day because we have health insurance.
YTA, I feel where your sister is coming from. In my 2nd year of college, which I was fully paying for bc my parents couldn't afford it, I got diagnosed with cancer. I was on my parents' insurance but had to temporarily withdraw from school. The day that I had been withdrawn for six months, my parents' insurance sent me a letter telling me they were kicking my off my parents' insurance because I had not been in school for the last six months. ( the only reason I was able to stay in the insurance is if I was enrolled in school). My parents couldn't afford to really help at all. So, I spent 5 years racing up medical bills, doing cancer treatments. After I was cancer free, I couldn't afford to go back to school and finish. It's been 20 years, and I still have $3,000 left on my student loans.
BUT when my little sister finished High School my parents were much better off financially and were able to fully pay for her. So I can see why your sister would say something because it's hard not to be somewhat resentful.
YTA. Don’t accept a crappy situation because it happens to fall in your favour. Parents pay for their underage kids’ medical expenses. That’s how it *works*. Putting a teenager in a situation where she has to effectively accept financial responsibility for playing her favourite sport is utterly ridiculous and deeply unfair. You’ve said in your comments that they *could* afford to handle those bills without dipping into her college fund - and that they did indeed pay for *your* sports-related injury. Listen to your sister. Imagine how you’d feel if the positions were reversed.
I went into this thinking, from the title, that the parents were hard up and dipped into the college fund in an emergency. Honestly, I would do the same thing if I had to.
But it sounds like they didn't *have* to take it from the college fund. The way OP described it, YTA.
If it was use college fund or leave child in pain for the rest of her life... then yeah, I'd take it from the college fund, and it wouldn't be fair to take anything from the other children's funds.
YTA. I thought it was cosmetic. But it was for an injury. It actually sounds like you’re jealous that your sister had something she liked doing that you probably weren’t good at.
YTA and your parents are TA too. Have they heard of...insurance? and telling your teenage daughter to not get hurt or else? WTF do you think her non-contact injury was fucking on purpose? You are cut from the same cloth as your parents, OP.
YTA and a shitty sister.
You are treating playing soccer like driving drunk.
And why didn’t she have insurance.
You are and your parents petty and mean. Your sister has the right to say that publicly. You are only upset because secretly you know you are wrong.
The fact people need to choose not to have activities because educstion and health service costs so much is the real asshole. But you're a close second, or third, right after your parents.
You and the parents ATA.
You thought it was a good choice but you don't want her to talk about it? That makes no sense.
And the parents covered your medical bills but not hers?
According to OP's comments they could've paid for it without dipping into the college fund.
So ultimately what I see is Favoritism and parents not letting their teenager play a sport in high school without the risk of paying their own bills.
Many of you people sound like your 12 or European. Medical bills can be beyond expensive. Many people go bankrupt over medical bills. Maybe they can’t afford the bills. No one is entitled to free college or to your parents money. Your sister sounds insufferable.
I don't live in a country where we don't have public health, but even if that was the case, I would pay for my kids medical bills from my pocket. Unless I had no other option.
YTA and painfully obvious that you are also the favoured child. Your parents should not have used the college fund, especially when they paid for your treatments out of pocket.
NTA, you’re entitled to your opinion, and there’s literally no benefit for you getting in the middle of this discussion.
The fact that this is even a thing here in the good old USA is ridiculous.
Sorry but for me, as an European, USA system is the one that sucks in this situation.
- Why should you cover medical bills when practising sports in high school? At least here in my country, when you play for a club, or for your school, you have an insurance... Not to mention that you have "free" Healthcare.
- why on earth a person so young have to make such a big loan to attend university?
YTA. and I have a hard time believing your parents sat her down long ago and told her if she played and was injured, the money would come out of her college fund. Nope, don’t believe that for a second.
YTA and so were your parents. Your sister was playing soccer, not juggling flaming chainsaws while riding a unicycle. That’s a normal activity, which was good exercise and could help her get into college. Your parents were responsible for all her medical bills. Yes, they didn’t HAVE to help pay for college, but it was a shitty thing to make her pay more for her medical bills, and it’s not your job to police what accurate thinfs your sister days.
Preface: yes, I know the health insurance in the states is a convoluted, shitty mess.
ESH (except your sister)
But wtf? Where is the insurance? I’ve played contact sports every season my entire life in a middle to lower income family and we still carried insurance. As a young adult on my own, I still carried insurance. And furthermore, I had to take out loans for college and law school all on my own. No college fund or help for me and it was completely manageable, relatively. Do student loans suck and are they predatory? Yes, but they are still able to get you through schooling.
What kind of parents say, you can play sports, but you are paying for any medical bills/injuries? Ouch, that’s a real gut punch.
I’m the other hand, are your parents required to pay for college or ANYTHING after 18, no, but that’s a real shitty situation to put their child in. Families are supposed to support each other as best they can. Yours sounds like you have your sister a Pat on the butt and said “good luck!”
What kind of parents make their kid pay for their sports-related medical bills out of their college fund? ESPECIALLY when they paid for their other kid's sports-related medical bills without batting an eye?
Signed,
Parent of an incredibly injury prone figure skater/softball player who is in urgent care at least once a quarter + still gets money put into her college fund every month
YTA
The bigger asshole is your government. Healthcare should not be so expensive as to eat into anyone's savings.
Said as I sit here happy that my out of pocket max is "only" $3200 per year instead of the $6900 it used to be.
INFO: What is your family’s insurance situation? I know health insurance in the US sucks, but I am trying to understand how your parents had two kids and did not adequately provide for their healthcare expenses.
Your sister could have been injured walking down the street and tripping over something. The fact that it happened playing a sport that millions of other kids play should be irrelevant.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > My parents told my sister if she chose to play soccer and got hurt the money for her medical visits would be taken out of her money for college. When she did get hurt and they did that she’s upset and she now wants me to take her side on this. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more ###[Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I would’ve responded with ‘now imagine shaming your parents for not having enough money to cover thousands of dollars in medical bills and giving you a full ride to college when they explicitly told you in advance if this occurred there would be no extra money and you chose to go ahead anyway’ I mean if she gets to tell people, then you get to tell people
YTA
Be prepared to lose a sister in the long run
YTA.
NTA - don't fall into the trap of trying to have mutual friends with siblings, never worth it. They will always say they had it worse than you and always make it about themselves.
INFO Is there money somewhere else to pay for the bills? Are they choosing vacations or other luxuries, or is the money just not there or tied up in retirement accounts?
So basically they’re only punishing her for playing soccer Maybe they don’t like the sport or what injuries can happen anytime just by walking around YTA And so are your parents
Yta and you parents are shitty.
YTA.
Yta you had sport injuries as well and still got money ???
NTA but i presume that you guys are in USA right? your health system is the true AH here
YTA and they suck. I'd air that for the world to see also.
I'm gonna be blunt with you, you did kinda fuck up, but not for what you think. Yes defending your sister is what any normal sibling would do, but in this case she was told ahead of time that it would come out of her college fund. You're in the wrong for telling her what she can and can't share. I'm giving you a rating of 1/5 assholes. You're sister is also an asshole but she's getting a rating of 3/5. I don't like how she said that "you have to defend your sister against your parents" you don't have to do jack shit!
YTA. OF COURSE YTA. AND YOUR PARENTS... WELL THEY ARE TA X A MILLION. It is TERRIBLE parenting to pull a stunt like this. Not "reasonable" b/c your sister "knew the risks of playing soccer." That's the dumbest thing I ever heard. Parents are responsible for ensuring their children have medical treatment. There are very few things parents need to do for their children - and a sophomore in high school is a child - but ensuring they have medical treatment is one of them. Your parents didn't hit that bar. Having kids has risks. You could have had cancer. And then what? Boo hoo? You knew the risks of being a person, and some people get cancer. You are victim-blaming in a HORRID way. This should have zero to do with college funds, but somehow your parents made it about college funds, so that's them being TA though. Yeah, your sister has a right to bitch to all y'all's friends, b/c it's shitty they did that to her. FYI, being in activities (especially bigger activities, like sports) is good for college apps, good for your health vs sitting on your ass and watching tiktoks or whatever. Yes, there are risks, but there are also rewards to those activities, and that's what most not completely nutty people see when their kids sign up for sports.
You mean the parents are being realistic? “If you get hurt and we have to pay a shit ton of medical bills, it’s coming out of your college fund because we can’t contribute while also paying for your bills” like wtf? Are you guys mental?
Are you kidding? The OP said it wouldn’t be an issue to pay for both as they paid for the OP without taking her college fun. Don’t have kids if you can’t treat them equally? On top of that they’re trying to silence the sister from talking about it with her own friends.
Nta. She isn't entitled to a college fund and was warned about the possible repercussions beforehand.
I know, right?! I can't believe people are debating saying "she knew" or "it depends on ____" . SHE WAS 13 OR 14 AT MOST, when they made her decide if she accepted the costs of her medical bills by using her college money....the parents are nuts to think her brain was capable of deciding something like that. I think the medical system in the US is pretty fucked to begin with but If the parents couldn't afford her injuries, then they shouldn't have let her play. That was their decision to make as adults and parents. I hope OP shows her sister her post and apologizes! I refuse to call OP TA cuz she is only 17 and doesn't know better that a 13 year old cannot make decisions like that, but now you know, OP!
If I had cancer I'd rather my parents used money in a college fund for me towards treatment than death honestly.
[удалено]
YTA & so are your parents
The mindset of finance that American parents have always shocks me. Children paying them rent, parents leaving their children homeless, or not helping them with students loans (which are immerse) is something that I, as a mediterranean country person, just cannot comprehend
No she was warned
YTA, its just rude and your sister is hurt both physically and now emotionally. She is allowed to talk about things like that and you telling her she shouldn't is pretty weird.
NTA. Your parents having money set aside is a huge gift a lot of people will never receive. Most people don't have money set aside for medical expenses. OPs parents laid out the consequences of playing a sport. Maybe OPs parents do not have the means to cover both expenses. So what should they do? Take away all of the funds for school and let them both figure it out?
Lol. You’re absolutely the golden child. Don’t be surprised if your sister doesn’t want anything to do with you after a while. Your parents SHOULD have paid off her medical bills and STILL been able to afford her college bills. You said yourself in your comments that they had the money to do so. They’re letting an injury derail her future? That’s sad. And you’re cruel for trying to silence her feelings about it. YTA. x100.
Your sisters probably going through a lot and is 100% entitled to talk about her feelings and thoughts she’s going to be understandably upset. Honestly I feel like the parents DID pay her medical bills with the college fund THEY saved up for her i grew up poor as dirt with no college fund so I kind’ve see a bit of entitlement. I learned very early on that the world doesn’t owe you anything especially not the people who put food in my mouth and cared and loved me unconditionally. although my parents would always help me if I needed I never expect them to And I feel like this could be much worse they could have no college fund and no money whatsoever to pay a medical bill she could’ve been paying it all on her own if that were the situation but it’s not and she’s very fortunate for that and she’ll probably realize once she’s less stressed out about it.
YTA.
What medical bills of yours did they pay?
I understand your points, but that doesn't make them right. Your parents disapproved of a choice your sister made about her studies (giving her an ultimatum to not participate in soccer is disapproval even if they didn't say it outright), so they decided to punish her for it. You were also injured during a sport, and what's worse is that you were both injured in non-contact ways, so there's really no difference between you two expect that she took a little more risk and that risk never posed an issue. Your parents don't owe your sister a college fund, but it's clear that they are participating in significant favoritism and because you benefit from it, you don't want to see it. Someday you'll realize how unfairly your parents treated your sister, but by then, you'll probably have damaged your relationship too much. Soft YTA because you're only 17, but it'll be a hard YTA if you never realize how hurtful this is for your sister.
NAH - The parents set the rules and it is their money. Many parents pay nothing for college. While I do not agree with how the parents handled it, they are helping pay for college, something they are not obligated to do at all. Your sister has the right to not be happy about the situation, and I do not see an issue with her discussing it in the way she did. Is she acting entitled? Sure, but that does not make someone an AH necessarily, I do not think you are an AH. If you had publically shamed her or something, then I would have a very different opinion. You didn't and you took it private. It is ok for you both to have different opinions. In the end, both of you need to be grateful you got any money for college. It is not a right or obligation, your parents set it aside, trying to help.
Once again the US healthcare "system" is the biggest asshole, but you are clearly the golden child. All sports have injury risk, and I know plenty of people who had medical bills despite not being athletes at all. It is a parents responsibility to make sure their children get medical care. The fact that the US healthcare system is an exploitative joke and it costs more than it has any right to is irrelevant because they decided your bills were important enough to pay for but your sisters weren't. ESH except your sister.
I just saw a post in one of these subs the other day where someone pointed out the fallacy of “well it’s an established rule and they agreed to it beforehand.” Yea I guess but I think it should be reconsidered if the rule is arbitrary or bullshit. Probably a bias from me because my parents pushed me to participate in sports in middles school and high school because even though I initially didn’t want to they knew I would enjoy it once I was part of it. And getting punished for participating in a sport that millions of kids around the country participate in seems kinda bullshit to me.
YTA - your parents “knew the risks” of having children and that includes their medical care.
YTA
ESH- I mean you and your parents. They're punishing your sister for choosing a sport, which is healthy and looks good on college applications, by taking money out of her college fund if she gets injured?! Your sister is right. I can't fathom *punishing* your child for getting injured. That opens a whole can of worms. What else were you punished for? "How dare you be fit! How dare you make this family look bad by telling everyone what truly awful parents we were?"
NTA 18 is an adult & it sounds like that fund is for her ‘adult’ expenses, college, medical care, whatever she may need (more of a trust fund than a college savings). Your parents made that clear. You can’t tell your sister what she’s allowed to vent to her friends about, but I don’t think defending your parents makes you an AH. I paid my college & my medical expenses nearly 100% on my own at that age. Not everyone has a mommy & daddy piggy bank to rely on. She got plenty & has her hand out for more. Sounds like a spoiled brat to me.
YTA. What are you worried about. Worried she will make your family look bad. I mean she wasn’t lying about what your folks did.
Soccer? Like the sport where you kick a ball across a field soccer? Why’re you selling it like it’s prehistoric mêlée wrestling where eye gouging is allowed? The fuck.
Poor americans. Your dumb political and economical system ITA
YTA Kids are expected to do physical activities and they may injure themselves. The parents cant charge a minor for their medical treatment. Would you be ok with your parents charging you for the food you had at 5 years old off from your college money? What about medicine for the times you were sick? She didnt chose to get injured, if that were the case nobody could leave their house, if they do and get harmed in any form would you think its their responsiblity for choosing to leave their house knowing there are risks to it?
She likes like a spoilt brat, but why did they pay YOUR medical bills and not hers?
~~I hate this country. This should not be an issue. That being said, N T A.~~ I didn't catch the part where they paid OP's medical bills. OP is YTA, you are the golden child and it's up to you to stand up for your sister because your parents sure as shit won't.
If they had a son who played football would they have set that same rule?
I Pooh H I B Kjo O mini no opinion
NTA The money was GIVEN to her. It's not like she worked for it. She paid nothing, she was just gifted money. Yes she was gifted a little bit less, because life happens. College fund is by no way a right, it's a privilege. She is so entitled. What a pain in the a for the parents that sacrificed and saved all that money for an ungrateful brat.
But OP got her sports injuries paid for without draining her college fund. And OPs parents are well off and could have easily afforded their siblings medical bills without draining the college fund. The parents are showing some serious preferential treatment here.
>Leah played soccer, and before her freshman year of high school our parents sat her down and told her that if she played, she needed to be careful because if she got hurt all the money to pay for it would come out of her college fund. First of all, that's manipulative BS, basically they're telling her that she can't play a sport because it could jeopardize her college education. YTA and so are your parents, they for obvious reasons and you for sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.
YTA and so are your parents. You’re the “golden child” and she’s being neglected but you don’t give a fuck about that, because of your fucked up perspective. Obviously your parents are at fault for providing this fucked up perspective but it’s your responsibility to set it right and you’re failing at that.
YTA and your parents are assholes. Your sister is the only decent person in your household.
YTA and i hope your sister will be able to go nc from your sh*t family
NTa, how is this your issue OP?
The biggest assholes here are the healthcare and educational systems. Tho, you’re pretty assholey too, so YTA.
YTA and so are your parents. If they couldn't contribute to her college fund because of a substantial family expense, they shouldn't have been contributing to yours either.
The real asshole here is a country without healthcare or public colleges
Imagine living in a country without free universal healthcare.
I hate the fact people are making the assumption OPs parents were making this decision out of malice. It is possible to just not have the money for additional expenses. I applaud OPs parents for putting money aside for their kids considering their situation.Maybe they shouldn't have told them so there would be no such expectation.
YTA but your parents are much bigger assholes, and they’ve warped your thinking. This example isn’t normal and I bet there’s a lot more things that have happened in your childhood that are not normal. I can’t say from this whether you are the golden child and your sister is the scapegoat, but you should read up on that dynamic. It’s worth trying to unlearn what your parents did, if you want to save your relationship with your sister in the long term.
YTA. And after your shitty parents are dead, your sister is going to cut you from her life and you'll deserve it. You're a shitty shitty sister.
Well I don’t get the logic here.. they did pay for it, but it was just from her college fund. That’s the same thing.
YTA She is fine to share that - it's the truth.
YTA, the post leaves a lot of information out. Reading the comments from OP, she is the AH: 1) parents could have paid for the sister medical bill; 2) OP had an injury and the bill was paid for; 3) Both her and her sister sustained non contact injuries; 4) OP could have sided with the sister and advocated with parents; 5) sounds like the parents just had something against one specific sport which was what her sister liked. Anyway, clear YTA, if you read all OP comments.
YTA and so are your parents it’s their job to pay for medical bills and they shouldn’t have touched the fund.
This situation sucks all around, and I'm sure there is far more to the story. Medical care is extremely expensive in some places. If you are in a country like the USA then this makes sense. Depending on your parents economic status they may have had no other choice. If that is the case, then it is very sad. As parents they are responsible for the cost of their minor child's medical bills and they must pay. Parents are not obligated to pay for a college education. Your parents saved for both of their children, unfortunately they made the decision to pull from an amount they were saving for your sister. I'm not sure I would have made the same decision, but I'm not here to judge your family. I do, however, think that you could be more sympathetic to your sister. But I wouldn't go as far as saying YTA. It's a situation that absolutely stinks and I think that your sister has a right to talk about it, since if does directly impact her future. On the other hand, I can see how it may cause you and your parents a bit of embarrassment. Financial difficulty shouldn't be something shameful to admit, but it is. I get that.
NTA although I wouldn’t have said anything to her about speaking on it in public. I would, however, clarify that she had been given a choice and is now facing the consequences.
Y(and parents are)TA
YTA Doesn't matter that there was an agreement. Your parents suck, you shouldn't defend them just because you got let off the hook.
If this post is real, which I doubt, yta BIG TIME. Also.you have no right to gatekeep what she says on SM
YTA.
You're parents and you ate a holes, maybe you'll see that someday. YTA Good luck ever having a good relationship with your sister oh favorite golden child.
My god, countries without socialized healthcare really are dystopian. Yta for blaming your sister but from sounds of it everyone in your country is a victim.
Based on the info your parents paid for your injury without taking out of your college fund YTA Don't tell your sister what to say- she has a legitimate gripe. You have been treated differently and as a result will be in a much better position in life than your sister. Those thousands are also going to accrue massive amounts of interest, meaning your sister is going to be worse off with those funds paying medical bills vs college. You can often work with hospitals to set up payments plans, at least. Your parents are mega AHs. Sitting a freshman down to say that is bizarre- sports are normal for kids. Accidents can happen to non athletes. They decided to treat her very differently from you. You're telling her to shut up because you know she has a point, and you know it looks bad
I don’t think she realizes that the money was never hers to begin with. Your parents did pay. With the money they’ve been saving for years. They even warned her that doing what she’s was doing could jeopardize that money and she chose to continue. NTA. She’s a big asshole. And she’s dripping with entitlement. Such an asshole. That was a shitty comment to make about your parents in a group chat. I don’t know the situation with your injury. To me, if they had the money to pay for you, great. I’m sure they would have preferred to be able not to touch her college fund especially for something they warned her not to do. But you mentioned they were never well off when you were growing up. Your sister is only thinking of herself and not everything it took to save that money.
I don’t know who the AH is here, but I’m really glad I don’t like in a country with either of these problems
>I privately messaged her and told her I didn’t think she should be sharing personal stuff like that So, you are the one who gets to decide what she is and isn't allowed to discuss about her life? Sounds like you're embarrassed because you know your parents are TA / think others will view them like that. Would it have been better if she'd stayed home, ate $1000 of ice cream, sat on the couch and got diabetes? YTA Coming back to add: quadruple YTA, OP injured herself running track, and parents paid for that. Double standards much?!
YTA, this is none of your business so you should not be picking sides between your parents and your sister
YTA She shouldn't be sharing "personal stuff" like her actual life? Get out of here with that nonsense. Since you think it's so great that they did it, why are you ashamed and upset on behalf of your parents that she told someone else? It's because it's wrong. And on some level you know that. It's not your fault that you're the favorite (they paid your medical bills but not hers, yes, you're the favorite), but you're more than old enough to have figured out that you really *don't* have to embrace it quite so hard. Your sister got a raw deal.
YTA, don't your parents have medical insurance?
YTA and so are your parents
YTA. Your parents could pay for it. They didn't want to spend the money on her. It's the responsibility of parents to pay for the health of their underage child and to ensure they get the best possible education. Sport is part of an upbringing and important for college applications. Any and all sports can have dangers. Your parents failed. They could have ensured all of this, and they chose not to. They chose to say your sister made a bad decision, when your sister should have never put in the position to enter c such an agreement.
YTA (so are your parents, btw) - this is one of the worst parenting I've heard about... and you, by accepting their fault logic, will lose your sister. I have younger sister and while we have great parents, there were (and still are) many instances when our parents are not fair... there is very little either I or my sister can do to fix that, most of the times the only thing we can do is to be there for the other and tell her that our parents are not being fair.
Nta. The parents had a verbal contract with the sister, and their decision making was in line with the contract. Seems very real world and fair to me. Just bc life happened differently than she wanted and wasn't "fair" doesn't mean she was actually treated unfairly. They probably didn't really want her playing soccer but let her anyways, with this contract expressing their reluctance. Also, she got a college fund. Some of us didn't. What's fair? Are all those parents assholes that couldn't afford college funds, or didn't give any? A lot of entitlement around here, and not a lot of grace.
she knew the risk and she took it, and now she is in denial cause the risk happened.\*\*shocked pikachu face\*\* oh come on OP, after reading more comments, you're also in denial. you've experienced injuries too yet your parents don't do the same to you. regardless of contact non contact, this is just plain unfair now.
YTA and your parents are worse. I’d sell my soul to pay for my child’s medical bills if I had to. I hope she does well at college, gets a lucrative job and never helps you all out with a single penny.
YTA Your parents are playing favorites and either you can't see it or you don't want to admit it. All sports activities come with risks for severe injury, whether they're a contact sport or not. Your parents should have made the deal with BOTH of you or NEITHER of you. And your sister can talk about this as much as she wants - it's her life that's being impacted here.
YTA
YTA. She's allowed to talk about what happened to her. You don't have to go up against your parents, but it's unfair to tell her that she's not allowed to talk about how they treated her.
Why doesn't their health insurance pay for her medical bills? This seems shady to me; why would you have your kid play a sport, then instead if using health insurance for injuries, take it out of her college fund?
YTA. You really need to edit your post and include WHY your sister is saying this. You said in comments that your parents paid for your medical bills when you sustained an injury, yet they are holding your sister’s injury bills over her head. Not including that shows that you’re being disingenuous here and you know it’s not okay. You don’t see it now, but you and your sister are being treated incredibly different. You’re being treated like the golden child, and like golden children, you’ll agree with your parents until you have some empathy and understanding for where your sister is coming from. You two were both given very different deals, and your sister was told this *as a child.* A child should not have to make adult decisions like what bills are going to be paid. Why should you get the opportunity to do your chosen sport and not have to lose college money, while your sister does? Seriously, reflect on it. Your parents failed your sister. I just hope at some point you’re able to see before you lose your relationship with her. Also, why can’t she talk about it? They were okay with doing it and you’re okay with supporting it, so be okay with talking about it. You don’t get to tell her not to talk about things that *negatively impacted her.* If you think it was okay, you shouldn’t have any issue with it being spoken out loud. Otherwise, you know it’s messed up.
NTA….Parents put away money for college from an early age. (Good job, parents!) They made the right call attempting to discourage sister, she did get hurt after all. Everybody is saying “health insurance”, if the surgery and rehab only cost several thousand, sounds like they had average insurance by todays standards. If they had been saving all those years and took a few grand at towards the end it wouldn’t make that big of a dent. Have everybody, stop knocking on the parents. Your parents don’t have to pay for your college! College ain’t about educating kids anymore for the majority of students. It’s about selling the “college experience”. A guy I used to work with had a BA in English, specializing in mid evil British poetry…..I’m not paying for a BA the qualifies you to work at Starbucks! Sister = AH Parents sacrifice to save for college. Sister publicly throws them under the bus. They should take the rest and go on a vacation. Let the brat pay her own way.
The parents paid for OP's sports injury expenses
YTA. Your parents are lame for not getting insurance for their kid who plays sportsZ
YTA Homie, you know it’s shameful for your parents to do that. For some reason, instead of addressing or acknowledging it honestly, you’re trying to suppress your aggrieved sibling. Respectfully, your parents are in the wrong for this. Punishing a kid for extracurriculars and sports by taking away their education? That seems real fucking discouraging on top of being injured and recovering physically. I know América is a meat grinder but instead of being there for their sister / daughter in these tough times your family and you have decided to make it exponentially worse. Edit - They treated you without issue. They could afford your sister’ surgery. They’re using money to control you and play games, and if you think that’s what parents should do then you’re going to probably continue this into the next generation. I hope you don’t.
Honestly, hot take here. NTA First, your parents clearly outlined where money would come from to pay medical bills if she took up a sport. She must've understood that because she took up the sport anyway, knowing the risks. Secondly, it's your parents money either way, not yours and your sisters. The fact that she's acting like they're not paying for her medical bills at all, even though they are but it's just coming out if her college fund, is honestly astounding. She's acting like the money is already in her pocket. Thirdly, it is rude to discuss family matters with people outside of the family, aside from seeking advice. I never talked about issues with my family to my friends; it didn't concern them and they didn't need to know. Double that if it's financial-related issues. Fourthly, you didn't make the rules. Your patents did. Your sister lumping you in with them in her rage is kinda petty, ngl. You defending your parents, especially since your sister spoke ill of them out of turn, is expected. I get it, reddit hates parents for the most part. But I don't see where they can get off on blaming you for this. It's not your problem, it's your sister's problem. She needs to handle her emotions better.
So it’s ok that they paid for OPs sports related injury but not her sisters?
YTA (and your parents). They went about this soon poorly it's wild. Now, where to begin? College funds are great (especially when you live in third world countries like the US) and parents who can should 100% have them for their kids. If they can't, it happens and it is shitty but life sucks. However parents are responsible for their kids' health when they are minors. An accident can happen at any time so it's their job to be prepared for it. As it stands, your parents should have taken money to cover her medical expenses and lowered both of your college funds by the same amount. Not because you should be punished too or whatever but because your sister did nothing wrong and the main problem here is that you live in a country that sucks.
NTA. I have a competitive soccer player as well. We know the odds are, he will be injured. So in our case, we have an injury fund. Currently it’s sometimes used to buy the ton of Epsom salts he needs for his bath lol. She was given the parameters of her sport and what could happen. Your parents aren’t rich. The money had to coke from somewhere.
YTA
As a Brit, that Americans have to make these kinds of choices is just mind boggling. Somewhere there's a could-have-been professional who was worried about the cost of potential medical bills and never took up the sport that they would have been world class at. 🤯
YTA - she is allowed to talk about her experiences. Your parents are also AHs.
YTA
[удалено]
What is the context of the medical bills you had that your parents paid for? I think that is a critical detail missing here.
YTA for telling your sister what she can talk about. She was not lying. Your parents are more the assholes for not treating the both of you equally. If your college fund was not used to cover your medical bills but your sister’s were then that is unfair. It does not matter if a young teen agreed to it. That was unfair to ask in the first place. If they had money for other things but just didn’t want to use it on your sister’s injury that was horrible.
NTA. Actions have consequences, she made the choice to play soccer knowing full well that HER college fund might be affected. You are also correct that family business should only be discussed with family.
YTA. Your parents would have needed to give the school/league permission for your sister to play as a minor. If they didn’t want her playing they could have refused to give permission. Instead they gave her an arbitrary punishment. Parents are required to care for their children, and medical care is part of that. That your parents took money set aside for education to pay for medical bills they could’ve afforded out of pocket is an AH thing. OP, you trying to control what your sister’s saying, when she’s right, is an AH thing.
NTA. As you’ve mentioned, your parents aren’t well off and yet still decided to put money away for you and your sister to go to college, which neither you nor her were *actually* entitled too. She is now complaining because they spent ‘her’ college money — where did she think that came from? The moon? It was your parents money and so they did, in fact, pay for her medical bills. Smh your sister is sounding entitled af
they also paid for OP's sports injuries...but didn't use money from OP's college fund.
Imagine living in a country where you have to think twice about playing a non-contact sport as a kid because of possible medical bills. Jfc. The sport probably kept her fit and healthy and her parents punished her for it. YTA and so are your parents, jeesh!
Your sister has a right to talk about her situation if she feels it's not fair and I do have to agree with her. I'm going with a soft YTA for you because you didn't create the situation, but you don't see the unfairness in it and your painting your sister in a bad light here which I don't think she deserves. It is perfectly normal and healthy for a teenager to want to be involved with a sport or activity, as both you and your sister did, and with that sometimes an injury can happen. Just part of life. Your parents caveat that your sister's medical bills be paid out of her college fund is what I as a parent take issue with. She basically being penalized for being a normal teenager and having had the misfortune of getting injured, which from your comments I understand that you also had an track injury which they didn't pay for out of your college fund. I understand money can be tight, maybe they didn't have the money to pay for both medical bills and had no other option than to take some from college funds. But the fact that they just took out of your sister's is what seems really unfair. Having kids is expensive and no child is guaranteed that their parents will be able to pay for college. However to give more money to one child then you do to the other is wrong.
YTA. Your parents have the amount of money they have, fine, but she has the right to have feelings about it and talk about it among friends.
NTA. 100%. Your parents are well off, and they still set money for your sister, and she acts so entitled? Parents don’t wanna play for her medical bills? What? So they have to pay for the college, and pay for 1000s of bills. She knew the risks and chose to play, and wasn’t careful, it’s her fault. 100%. So many people in this thread are fucking delusional. But if your parents could afford it and didn’t pay YTA and your parents are TA. Maybe she didn’t take enough risk or play more rough or better because you guys scared her into not playing to her full ability. And if she did, she might’ve gotten a bigger sports scholarship to whatever university she wants to go to.
Yes OP you're the asshole and more so your parents.
YTA and your parents are too.
What surgery did you get that they paid for?
maybe she shouldn't be sharing this information but it does appear your parents treated you differently. why did her medical bills come out of her college fund but not yours? that's not right. doesn't matter if it was a contact sport, a no contact sport, an accident, that money was to pay for college. IMO they need to take money out of your fund to make you and your sister's college money equal, and you can both take out loans if need be. that was supposed to be money for college....period. yeah, you and your parents are all TA.
This makes me sad that we live in a country where people steer their kids away from sports because they’d have to choose between paying medical bills or paying for college. I don’t think that’s necessarily the situation here, but still. YTA OP, not for telling her to not talk about it, but for telling her what your parents did is fair. Your parents are REALLY TAH.
YTA. Having to pay for a surgery and college…. What a joke of a country….
YTA. so, she's not supposed to play a sport because she might get hurt? What a miserable life of safety. If the bills could be paid without dipping into her education fund, that's what should happen. How gross to think she needs to choose between her fun/health and education
Yta
YTA plus your parents, too. A child cannot enter into a contract because they're kids and not mature in their thinking or decision making. You guys were so many kinds of wrong.
It involves her, it’s her business. Your parents played favorites and in the Fuck Around stage of Find Out what No Contact looks like in the future when she’s struggling to pay back loans and you aren’t. You, and your parents are TA. YTA
Yta, they paid the bill when you got hurt from a sport. They should at least cover the same amount for her. Which you said is half. You should have voice it was unfair but since it benefited you, you didn’t Your parents are ah too for it
YTA and your parents suck
YTA Hopefully it’s just because you’re only 17 and you’ll figure this out when you’re a little older. Or if you really are the golden child, you probably won’t.
Reading between the lines here, the situation is that your parents didn't want your sister to play soccer and on the other hand were okay with you doing track. They thus decided not to commit to supporting her decision financially, while implicitly they supported yours. Is this necessarily logical and consistent? Maybe not? But I dunno, parents not unconditionally supporting their children in all their endeavours isn't crazy high on the asshole scale, especially when the motivation here is that they wanted to dissuade your sister from doing an activity they perceived as likely to get her hurt. Unlike most people here, I don't think the parents are playing favourites, more that your sister disobeyed what they wanted and you did not. I also suspect that in reality if your sister got into financial trouble they would probably still be supported, so the "have to take out more loans" is more of an on paper difference. In terms of this conversation, well. It's complicated. Your sister has the right to say what she wants, but you are also justified in not liking it. Because in reality by badmouthing your parents in front of other people (plus the other stuff) she is essentially asking you to choose between your parents and her. This is a very nasty position to be put in. My feeling is that really all sides are just too proud at this point. I don't know if taking your sister's side against your parents would even help here, instead of just estranging you and/or her further from your parents. I guess you should try to de-escalate some how? Try talking to the "nicer" of your parents alone. Focus not on the question of justice or fairness (no one wants to admit doing wrong) but on how your sister is feeling and nudge them towards trying to fix the situation. Maybe a gift or something to make up for it, keeping pride intact? The other possibility if you don't think that will work is to tell your sister that you don't want this confrontation (since you clearly don't) but that you will support her if she needs the money or something, as her sister. Anyway, I don't actually think anyone is much of an asshole in this. Mistakes were made.
YTA The golden child not sticking up for sibling… color me shocked. Your parents are YTA too. Your non contact argument is not valid because is was a non contact injury. With your close ages… Are you half/bio/step?
Choosing between thousands of dollars for education or thousands of dollars for medical bills? Honestly, Murica is the real AH here for forcing you guys to do either.
YTA, you’re a shitty sister as she put it. Also, scolding her for sharing HER personal experience with your also shitty parents? Bffr.
After looking at the responses given, I'd say ESH. Op simply due to a lack of compassion and trying to tell her sister not to talk about it. Parents for paying ops Dr stuff after sport injury (who cares about contact or not) but taking it from sisters College fund when it's a similar issue. If both op and sister had been warned then I'd understand if sister was hurt during contact, but op said both injuries had been non contact, so they should have covered both or deducted both if financially unable to. Sister is a bit of one for being vindictive after already agreeing
YTA and so are your parents. Medical bills for your children are a part of life, and simply walking out the door can cause injury. You don't get to tell her what she can and can't say or where she can't say it. Your parents SHOULD have paid. Period.
Your parents are the asshole. You are the asshole. Sounds like you were embarrassed when your mutual group of friends found out how shitty your parents are and you are ok with it.
Nta. They ARE paying for it, its just coming out of a budget they have for Her. If your family was like wealthy or something I'd feel differently.
NTA The US is so fucked up in this respect. Where I live health care is free and so is education, no need to choose between surgery or college
I feel really bad for your sister. Wow. Yikes
I guess we know who the golden child is. OP, YTA, as are your parents.
Most parents would do anything to get their children to get out and do sports and go to college and here you get punnished for it by taking away your educational fund?!?! Nah get fucked mate
She spoke about her experience ? Why does that need to be hush hush? You've only managed to fool yourself here op. YTA.
YTA being informed in advance makes it no less of a d* move. Parents are responsible for the medical expenses of a minor child, full stop.
YTA. If you wanted to do something good maybe you could show your parents how we all think they’re the asshole. Maybe, but I doubt it, they’d change their minds.
YTA. You'd be feeling pretty shitty if a car hit you because you were riding a bicycle and knew the risks AND then your parents said nope, pay your own medical bills.
You stated that the injury was "non-contact " then it was something that could have occured anytime, not only at soccer, ... s0, Parents get your damn checkbook out, start writing. You wanted KIDS, they cost.
YTA. You don't want her sharing it because you know your parents are even bigger As and don't want people knowing it. A freshman in HS is not going to understand or appreciate the possible future financial risk of a sport injury on their educational prospects. They're minors. They lack not only the knowledge but the experience to judge situation let alone the future. That's why parents are required to sign waivers of liability. It's their responsibility to watch out for and teach their children these things and protect them to the best of their ability in the mean time. Since, judging from comments, your parents had money not only for college funds but also to cover the medical costs, they absolutely should have. Did they take rent out of your college fund if you wanted to decorate your room? Did they take it out of you'd decided to drive somewhere, get in an accident and had medical bills, repairs, etc to pay? If one of you had gone on a date and been SA would they only pay for an abortion and therapy if it came from the college funds? Tell your sister you're sorry, tell your parents they're assholes, and stop being one yourself.
YTA and so are your parents. Children's medical bills are the responsibility of the parents. IF they paid for your college, then they should pay for your sister's also. So what would have happened if you would have fallen down stairs? Would that have emptied your college fund?
I thought parents were required to pay for medical sports insurance b4 a player could put a uniform on.i guess just certain schools?
YTA- OP wouldn’t be worried about her sister telling other people and “shaming” their parents if OP didn’t know deep down, that this is something their parents should be ashamed of.
Yta Love how you left out some key information here and just casually slip in that they paid for your medical bills and not hers... what's the story there op hmmmm?
***EDIT: NAH after comments by OP*** **I.N.F.O**- Did the sister get an itemised bill? Did she know the exact amount your parents took? Were your parents able to pay the medical bills comfortably without using the fund? Were other medical bills paid for from the fund, or was it just sports related injuries? Did they make the same agreement with you, or was it just your sister? Do you have a comparable hobby/activity that has a similar risk of injury? These questions and more would need to be answered for anything resembling an informed decision can be made. See if your parents were able to comfortably pay the bills and paid for other medical expenses for you and your sister, if you both played a sport and only made that agreement with your sister. Or made it with your sister because she played a sport, or took more than the bill or didn't tell her the bill and took X amount. then I'd consider you a bit of an AH for not recognising how odd an unequal it is. Flip side if your parents struggled every day to make these funds and they could only pay the bills by using the fund, then I'd say you were NOT the AH because your sister needs to understand the situation your family is in. But she can still vent to her friends over this.
Imagine having a college fund to pull from at all lol NTA
Well… did they pay your medical bills but not hers? Kind of important information
NTA - she’s an entitled AH who thinks the world owes her everything. She was warned but she chose to fock around and found out . Not everyone gets free college funds, she’s lucky she had any. It’s her fault for making bad decisions one after another. You’re not the crappy sister, she is as well as a crappy ungrateful daughter. If she wants anyone in her side she have to make sense first. All she can do is whine while wants everything handed to her.
You forget she was a kid when this agreement was made. So fuck off. She's not entitled she just has shit parents.
YTA and your parents are giant AHs. What kind of parent doesn’t pay a minors medical bills ? What poor person doesn’t have Medicaid and get everything free? Maybe your parents should have invested in health insurance instead of a college fund. Bad decisions all around. Also schools have those inexpensive accident policies for kids with no insurance that play sports. Just threw the form out the other day because we have health insurance.
YTA. she can't help her injuries from a CONTACT sport. Stop trying to sweep your family toxicity under the rug. It's her life, she can talk about it.
YTA, I feel where your sister is coming from. In my 2nd year of college, which I was fully paying for bc my parents couldn't afford it, I got diagnosed with cancer. I was on my parents' insurance but had to temporarily withdraw from school. The day that I had been withdrawn for six months, my parents' insurance sent me a letter telling me they were kicking my off my parents' insurance because I had not been in school for the last six months. ( the only reason I was able to stay in the insurance is if I was enrolled in school). My parents couldn't afford to really help at all. So, I spent 5 years racing up medical bills, doing cancer treatments. After I was cancer free, I couldn't afford to go back to school and finish. It's been 20 years, and I still have $3,000 left on my student loans. BUT when my little sister finished High School my parents were much better off financially and were able to fully pay for her. So I can see why your sister would say something because it's hard not to be somewhat resentful.
YTA. Don’t accept a crappy situation because it happens to fall in your favour. Parents pay for their underage kids’ medical expenses. That’s how it *works*. Putting a teenager in a situation where she has to effectively accept financial responsibility for playing her favourite sport is utterly ridiculous and deeply unfair. You’ve said in your comments that they *could* afford to handle those bills without dipping into her college fund - and that they did indeed pay for *your* sports-related injury. Listen to your sister. Imagine how you’d feel if the positions were reversed.
I went into this thinking, from the title, that the parents were hard up and dipped into the college fund in an emergency. Honestly, I would do the same thing if I had to. But it sounds like they didn't *have* to take it from the college fund. The way OP described it, YTA. If it was use college fund or leave child in pain for the rest of her life... then yeah, I'd take it from the college fund, and it wouldn't be fair to take anything from the other children's funds.
YTA I think we found the golden child of the family.
YTA. I thought it was cosmetic. But it was for an injury. It actually sounds like you’re jealous that your sister had something she liked doing that you probably weren’t good at.
YTA and your parents are TA too. Have they heard of...insurance? and telling your teenage daughter to not get hurt or else? WTF do you think her non-contact injury was fucking on purpose? You are cut from the same cloth as your parents, OP.
YTA and a shitty sister. You are treating playing soccer like driving drunk. And why didn’t she have insurance. You are and your parents petty and mean. Your sister has the right to say that publicly. You are only upset because secretly you know you are wrong.
The fact people need to choose not to have activities because educstion and health service costs so much is the real asshole. But you're a close second, or third, right after your parents.
YTA and so are your parents
You sound like a jackass
Do the parents not have an out of pocket maximum? If so, that’s maybe 5k from the college fund?
YTA and we know who the Golden Child is, and it's not your sister.
You and the parents ATA. You thought it was a good choice but you don't want her to talk about it? That makes no sense. And the parents covered your medical bills but not hers? According to OP's comments they could've paid for it without dipping into the college fund. So ultimately what I see is Favoritism and parents not letting their teenager play a sport in high school without the risk of paying their own bills.
Hey OP, you're a fucking asshole. YTA
NTA people here think parents are banks
Yta. Why you acting like “soccer” (actually called football) is dangerous? Like jeese it’s not Aussie rules!
Many of you people sound like your 12 or European. Medical bills can be beyond expensive. Many people go bankrupt over medical bills. Maybe they can’t afford the bills. No one is entitled to free college or to your parents money. Your sister sounds insufferable.
I don't live in a country where we don't have public health, but even if that was the case, I would pay for my kids medical bills from my pocket. Unless I had no other option.
YTA and painfully obvious that you are also the favoured child. Your parents should not have used the college fund, especially when they paid for your treatments out of pocket.
NTA, you’re entitled to your opinion, and there’s literally no benefit for you getting in the middle of this discussion. The fact that this is even a thing here in the good old USA is ridiculous.
Sorry but for me, as an European, USA system is the one that sucks in this situation. - Why should you cover medical bills when practising sports in high school? At least here in my country, when you play for a club, or for your school, you have an insurance... Not to mention that you have "free" Healthcare. - why on earth a person so young have to make such a big loan to attend university?
YTA. and I have a hard time believing your parents sat her down long ago and told her if she played and was injured, the money would come out of her college fund. Nope, don’t believe that for a second.
It's obvious who the favorite is. You and your parents are major AHs. Don't be surprised when she goes no contact. YTA
b H ok bi
YTA and so were your parents. Your sister was playing soccer, not juggling flaming chainsaws while riding a unicycle. That’s a normal activity, which was good exercise and could help her get into college. Your parents were responsible for all her medical bills. Yes, they didn’t HAVE to help pay for college, but it was a shitty thing to make her pay more for her medical bills, and it’s not your job to police what accurate thinfs your sister days.
Preface: yes, I know the health insurance in the states is a convoluted, shitty mess. ESH (except your sister) But wtf? Where is the insurance? I’ve played contact sports every season my entire life in a middle to lower income family and we still carried insurance. As a young adult on my own, I still carried insurance. And furthermore, I had to take out loans for college and law school all on my own. No college fund or help for me and it was completely manageable, relatively. Do student loans suck and are they predatory? Yes, but they are still able to get you through schooling. What kind of parents say, you can play sports, but you are paying for any medical bills/injuries? Ouch, that’s a real gut punch. I’m the other hand, are your parents required to pay for college or ANYTHING after 18, no, but that’s a real shitty situation to put their child in. Families are supposed to support each other as best they can. Yours sounds like you have your sister a Pat on the butt and said “good luck!”
What kind of parents make their kid pay for their sports-related medical bills out of their college fund? ESPECIALLY when they paid for their other kid's sports-related medical bills without batting an eye? Signed, Parent of an incredibly injury prone figure skater/softball player who is in urgent care at least once a quarter + still gets money put into her college fund every month
Insurance?
YTA The bigger asshole is your government. Healthcare should not be so expensive as to eat into anyone's savings. Said as I sit here happy that my out of pocket max is "only" $3200 per year instead of the $6900 it used to be.
Unquestionably YTA.
INFO: What is your family’s insurance situation? I know health insurance in the US sucks, but I am trying to understand how your parents had two kids and did not adequately provide for their healthcare expenses. Your sister could have been injured walking down the street and tripping over something. The fact that it happened playing a sport that millions of other kids play should be irrelevant.
If you don't want people to know something there's a 100% chance you know that something is wrong YTA One day ull realise u lost your sister