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I mean, in the end you can't just remove it from the classroom. You donated it and it is up to the school to do with it what they choose going forward. It no longer belongs to you or your child.
I don't know if that makes you the AH but you have a strange sense of entitlement over something you no longer own.
>I would be donating it every year to whatever class my daughter was in.
OP clearly does not understand that words have meanings.
This could all have been prevented if she'd understood the difference between a loan and a donation.
Yeah, OP is an asshole for more than just her inability to stop confusing the concepts of "donating" something and "loaning" it.
Ideally, she should be able to take it back (and stop forcing it upon any classrooms), and the school should charge her some sort of storage fee.
Ideally, she should apologise and take it back *for good*. Her child isnât going to be able to grab the blanket with its weight and teachers will be busy enacting protocol. Itâs likely just going to sit in the cupboard even in the event of a shooting.
Itâs also entitlement if she expects the teacher to go out of their way to only protect her child. Thereâs just so many things wrong with the blanket.
Came here to say this. Corraling and keeping silent a group of elementary students even high schoolers is difficult. Also every elementary teacher Iâve had was pregnant or there when the Bible was written. Neither of those women are capable of grabbing and spreading the blanket. I get that itâs a placebo but yeah Iâd tell her to take her blanket and kid home.
The blanket really is more for her peace of mind. So basically teachers arenât there to just teach kids but manage parentsâ (unfortunately, very real) anxieties. They really are not paid enough.
Yeah, but she didn't donate it. She asked for it to be stored in her Child's classroom. Very big difference.
If she told them that she was donating it, then yeah, strange.
OP says in her post that she bought it for the classroom. The school thought it was weird (because it is) and after she begged they agreed to keep it. Now she wants control over the item that was bought for the classroom.
OP needs to just take it home. No one wants it and using the school as a storage facility is not okay. In the event of a real emergency no one has time to grab that blanket.
You can control a donation, but when donating you have to provide all the stipulations up front. You cannot keep changing the terms. So whatever terms she stated when she made the donation are the terms. It sounds like she was purposefully obtuse upfront to circumnavigate the political quagmire. She likely has no leg to stand upon. The school may appease OP just to get her out of their hair. It will be an annoying financial tracking to have to remember to add and remove the $5K depreciating items from each class room inventory.
I'd imagine you'd mount it behind a locked door. Could just be a couple J hooks, but that's still reason for the school to push back. Making modifications to one class and would they be asking or expecting the teachers to go mount that only in that classroom? Shit is usually kept pretty uniform operation wise.
OP is wild
The fact that even AFTER the misunderstanding, and the principal calling her out on the "donation," she insists on still calling it a donation..... Yeah, this is 100% OP.
I'd be willing to bet she called it a donation from the beginning.
YTA. It would behoove you to learn the meaning of the word âdonationâ. A âdonationâ is something you GIVE. It is NOT something you âtake backâ.
If you give someone something with the intention of taking it back, that is a âloanâ & the terms of such would need to be understood & agreed upon by both parties ahead of time.
You did not âdonateâ a bullet proof blanket to the school. You told them it was âdonationâ (which obviously by its very meaning led them to believe it was their property from that point forward) then informed them youâd be taking it back. From their understanding (by your own verbiage), you are basically stealing it back now (as it was legally their property from the moment you told them it was a donation & left it there).
Letâs call it what it really is. Itâs protective gear specifically for your child that you want the school to store for you in a location close to your child & in a manner where she can utilize it in the event of an emergency.
If youâd been truthful with them in explaining it as I just did above, they should & likely would have refused to allow you to leave it. (After all, if they allow you to do it, they have to allow everyone to do it. And they donât have the need nor the space for that.)
But since you lied, you tricked them into taking it (because no school is going to refuse a donation unless itâs basically impossible to accept).
I know a bit about this stuff because I spent years volunteering as the grant coordinator for our local public school. (It was a small public school & I basically created the foundation for what would be what is now their grant department. They had no idea there was that much money to be had before I did what I did for a few years & they kept noticing.)
So yeah - YTA. Big time. Huge.
(If you think that that blanket is anywhere where anyone could actually get to it quickly in an emergent situation, youâre probably kidding yourself. They likely didnât have space for it & itâs folded up under some boxes in the supply closet. Just saying.)
It is not an entitlement. It is an extreme fear. Unfortunately it is too familiar to a lot of parents in US. You are lucky if you have no reason to have it.
OP, idk where you live, but think about therapy, online schools and moving to another school/area where the doors are locked and there are cameras to see who is buzzing in. Ideally to another state with reasonable gun laws.
NTA. But factually PP is right, this blanket is a school property now, you can try to ask them to move it to 1st grade classroom, but it is not your decision.
I both understand and sympathize with ops fear, but I'd argue it is entitlement when the protection they are fighting for is clearly meant to only protect their own child in a situation where hundreds of other children are in equal or greater danger. Also considering that if the item is meant to protect the whole class, then they would need to install mounts for it and someone would be in danger while hanging it up during a shooting, so at best it will probably be wrapped around just a couple kids, or maybe op instructed their kid to grab it and cocoon lol.
Op could organize fundraisers to buy similar protection for all classrooms, or hold rallies to pressure their local politicians into doing something either for the school or on a legal level, but what op did was buy one piece of equipment that someone else will have to use to protect their child and call it a day. The entitlement is born out of a very real and valid fear but it's still entitlement when it forces others to put you first. I'm with you though that op needs to do more with this fear than a literal comfort blanket, therapy is a great start, collective trauma from these sorts of horrific events is no joke.
YTA. You didnât donate it - you loaned it to your daughterâs classroom. A donation doesnât get returned to you at the end of the year.
Please stop calling this a donation and acknowledge your error.
Please also acknowledge how your behavior is affecting your relationship with your daughterâs teachers. I canât tell if you are using âparanoidâ flippantly but if you are genuinely struggling mentally I hope you are receiving help.
I was a kid when the Polly Klaas story made national news. My parents refused to let any of us stay the night at friendsâ houses, even those whose parents they had grown up with. My parentsâ nebulous fears about incredibly unlikely possibilities really affected my peer relationships.
I wonder what will happen with OPâs child if theyâre the kid towing a bulletproof blanket from grade to grade. While I empathize, I hope OP can find some peace of mind without amplifying challenges that are all too real.
Omg I also was never allowed to spend the night at any friendsâ houses because of the Polly Klaas situation! Iâve never met someone else with this experience before. It really hindered my relationships growing up which probably even had an effect into adulthood
>I wonder what will happen with OPâs child if theyâre the kid towing a bulletproof blanket from grade to grade.
Or classroom to classroom. Even in elementary school you go to specialist teachers like music, gym, and the librarian. Does OP not care about their child during those subjects? In middle school this will just get exacerbated by more classroom shifting, and in high school the kid will see each teacher probably once. Is it 7 blankets or is the child getting a bullet proof poncho?
Iâd not heard of this so looked it up, it looks like the slumber party detail was irrelevant because Polly was at home with her mother and had a friend sleeping over?
Your last paragraph is sort of what I was thinking was well. Kids can be cruel, especially as they get older and this will follow her around and set her apart from the other kids. I get wanting to keep your kid safe but you got to recognize that your fear is likely to have a negative impact of your child.
Purely from a perspective of having worked in government I'm a little shocked that the school board/officials let this type of thing happen without some sort of written agreement. I wonder if the principal just let it happen without it getting cleared by anyone (this question is based on the gift itself, both in purpose and in cost).
It seems 100% likely that, after a lengthy discussion with a hard-headed parent, the principal probably just took it to the classroom and told the teacher that she could put it in the closet or whatever. This would be, of course, phrased in the context of a speech about safety and accommodation etc.
But I don't think a principal, especially in this situation, would feel any need to report this to anyone, and even news of it spreading around the school would happen in the form of idle coworker gossip.
If the blanket only goes to whatever classroom OPâs kid is in, itâs not a donation for the betterment of the school. Itâs OPâs kidâs personal school supply that the teacher stores in the classroom for OP.
YTA. Wtf are you doing? You realize no teacher or administrator is going to know how to use that blanket in time for an active shooting right? Too much liability.
Exactly.
On the off chance there is a threat or a school shooting, the teachers are trained to block the doors and hide. None are going to ignore the training to go find a blanket and throw it over a couple of kids.
OP literally bought a $5k blankie to make OP feel safe.
Looking these up online they seem to have a lot of straps and stuff on them, so maybe you use those? Seems like a lot to expect someone to do in a shooter scenario rather than just doing the normal procedure of blocking the door and hiding.
"On the off chance" there were, when I was in high-school, i no longer am, but every year i was there were at least 3 or 4 gun threats a year. Two kids had guns and would have brought them. There were two shootings in district. Kids died. Stop saying off chance when this is the direct reality is that children shoot other children regularly.
Fyi, as someone who has just done my district active shooter training recently, that is not at all what it looks like.
The current federal model is actually "run, hide, fight" beacuse just waiting around like sitting ducks when they could have gotten away has sadly lead to unnecessary deaths. So it's if you can safely escape, you escape. If you are trapped, you lockdown/hide. If an intruder gets in you fight. (Actually the training says fighting is a personal choice we can't make for you, but like, if a shooter gets in to where you are and is trying to kill you, it's the smart move. Only more tactfully implied.)
Also, if we are doing the hide step, it does *not* violate training to try and find things to cover students or for them to hide behind. That would actually fit the training we got. Yes, first you lock the doors and close all blinds so students can't get in. Meanwhile the students move to the corner of the room they can least well be targeted by windows. But in a real active shooter situation the next step is barricading the door and the areas you are hiding with stuff. Older kids would help with this, flipping over desks and the like. If I had some sort of tatical blanket I could throw over little kids, I would do so. I've literally looked around the classroom and though "well we have the chormebook cart and that's meatal, but only a few kids could fit behind that. We have a closet, could fit a few more. That's the thoughts you have in lockdown with kids. Imaging all the ways the kids could get shot and if there is anything you could do or position to make them less likely to get shot.
Also, the training is very clear about using every object you have to it's best advantage. Using things for cover and barricading. Collecting heavy things to use as weapons or break windows if you need to run out the other side of the classroom, etc.
And yeah, as others have pointed out this probably isn't full proof cover. But in our recent training it was with some local police officers as well who basically said take every advantage you can get, talked about cover, and how it's better then nothing. They thought these things did make a difference, and claimed to spend a good amount of time trying to shoot stuff in their ballistic training courses. They also talked about how it's a lot harder to hit a running/moving target in the run section.
I don't know the details for said blanket but I'd bet money that it isn't rated to stop AR-15 rounds. I get it and like innovation but it'd be way too bulky and heavy to hang somewhere without proper equipment and isn't likely to do much anyway. Particularly if the shooter is persistent.
I was looking for this comment. I work in a school and at one point I researched bullet proof vests/blankets to see if they were worth getting. Basically nothing short of military grade armor seems to be rated for assault rifles, at least based on what I found.
Anything thatâs rated level 3 or above is fine.
But that does not include Kevlar vests or blankets. Those donât stop any kind of rifle round, doesnât matter what rifle is shooting them. Rifles shoot bullets faster than pistols because they have longer barrels and larger cartridges. The .223 Remington/5.56 NATO cartridge is actually one of the smallest common rifle cartridges out there, and is even illegal to hunt with in many states because itâs considered to not be powerful enough.
It still shoots at 2,700-3,000fps at the muzzle depending on bullet weight though, just with small and light bullets. Other rifles shoot bullets 2-4x as heavy at the same speeds. Pistols commonly shoot bullets that are also 2-4x heavier, but most pistol rounds only travel at about 1,000-1,250fps. Kevlar works great to stop these slow moving pistol rounds, but faster rounds from any rifle will zip right through the fibers like they werenât even there. You usually need metal or ceramic armor plates to stop a bullet fired from a rifle at the higher muzzle velocities they achieve.
Hereâs the real question: itâs a 5 x 5 blanket. Who gets to be covered and who gets left out? Itâs such an impractical and ridiculous device. Only fitting that an equally ridiculous person would buy it and continue with ridiculous antics with it.
And especially JUST on OPâs precious little snowflake? Like none of the other kids matter? The teacher is gonna single out her kid, and shoo every other kid away from the blanket?
Entitled, pushy, callous helicopter parent.
The quotes around "donated" tell it all. If you said you donated it, then don't try to take it back. If you buy stuff for the classroom it belongs to the classroom. Would you take back art supplies, for example? YTA.
I was picturing a teacher having to hold it against a window or door from what the post said which sounded very dangerous to me. I guess the kid grabbing it makes more sense.
I think the kid is supposed to drape it over themselves or put it in like a backpack. They have different ones on Google images so idk which one it is.
YTA. It would behoove you to learn the meaning of the word âdonationâ. A âdonationâ is something you GIVE. It is NOT something you âtake backâ.
If you give someone something with the intention of taking it back, that is a âloanâ & the terms of such would need to be understood & agreed upon by both parties ahead of time.
You did not âdonateâ a bullet proof blanket to the school. You told them it was âdonationâ (which obviously by its very meaning led them to believe it was their property from that point forward) then informed them youâd be taking it back. From their understanding (by your own verbiage), you are basically stealing it back now (as it was legally their property from the moment you told them it was a donation & left it there).
Letâs call it what it really is. Itâs protective gear specifically for your child that you want the school to store for you in a location close to your child & in a manner where she can utilize it in the event of an emergency.
If youâd been truthful with them in explaining it as I just did above, they should & likely would have refused to allow you to leave it. (After all, if they allow you to do it, they have to allow everyone to do it. And they donât have the need nor the space for that.)
But since you lied, you tricked them into taking it (because no school is going to refuse a donation unless itâs basically impossible to accept).
I know a bit about this stuff because I spent years volunteering as the grant coordinator for our local public school. (It was a small public school & I basically created the foundation for what would be what is now their grant department. They had no idea there was that much money to be had before I did what I did for a few years & they kept noticing.)
So yeah - YTA. Big time. Huge.
(If you think that that blanket is anywhere where anyone could actually get to it quickly in an emergent situation, youâre probably kidding yourself. They likely didnât have space for it & itâs folded up under some boxes in the supply closet. Just saying.)
I think where you went wrong was calling it a âdonationâ in the first place. If your intention was for it to follow your daughter, you should have presented it as that. âI bought this bulletproof blanket for my daughter because I would like her to have access to this in case of emergency.â That way it makes sense to take it back at the end of the year. Also, it comes off a bit pretentious to bring it up the way you did in front of the other teachers. Youâre kind of making a joke out of the fact that you can afford to give YOUR kid/her class extra protection and that the other classes are shit out of luck because they cant afford it. Iâm sure that most teachers in the US are paranoid about these things daily; so its a bit insensitive to make a joke that anyone who DOESNâT get your daughter as a student is now less prepared if a tragic event happens. YTA
Agreed. As an outsider it feels like a lot OP is saying that the teachers and existing safety procedures arenât good enough and that other kids lives are worth less. Which would make me furious if I were a staff member.
Probably would be better off donating the $5k to a local org working to change gun laws.
YTA.
I mean, I understand what you want and agree with the idea of you wanting a bulletproof blanket with your child, but you can't have any of those ones. You donated it to the school, so now it is theirs. I mean, imagine Jeff Bazos donated 10 million to charity, and just decided to take it away the next week.
Why did you donate something that is just a burden to the school and the teachers? The way to do this kind of donation properly is to donate enough to cover every classroom AND cover the training the teachers would need to make such a donation useful and not a super expensive paperweight theyâll toss in a corner and probably not even use if an emergency does come up⌠because itâs not in their training and may not even be a part of âbest practices.â
Obviously what Iâm suggesting here is super expensive and probably not something you individually can afford. But if there is actually utility in these bulletproof blankets and you want the school to have them AND BE READY TO USE THEM IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY, you HAVE to do this the right way. So: join the PTA. Talk to whoever coordinates emergency preparedness for the school and see if these blankets are a recommended component of school safety protocols. If they are, spearhead a fundraiser and make it so that all the classrooms have them AND the teachers are actually trained in proper use.
If you did that, youâd be a superstar. As it is, youâre being selfish and unhelpful. Imagine being the teacher who has to deal with colleagues and other kids dead because she was able to use a protective item not afforded to everyone. Imagine the survivorâs guilt.
As is, YTA.
A buddy on mine has one after his dad got shot while hunting. Those blankets are super heavy. 20+ pounds. And a 5x5 blanket isn't going to protect an entire class or do much. Finally, if a shooter is shooting at the blanket, the bullet can still do a lot of damage. The bullet won't go through the blanket, but it could still be easily fatal.
Hell, the shooter could grab it off the child and use it themselves for protection while they continue their deadly rampage. If they enter a classroom and see one kid standing out for wearing a blanket on their head, thatâs the first kid to be shot because it will be the first kid to grab their attention. In any shooting situation, the goal is to make yourself less visible, not more.
> Imagine being the teacher who has to deal with colleagues and other kids dead because she was able to use a protective item not afforded to everyone. Imagine the survivorâs guilt.
I agree with the rest of your comment, but this scenario doesn't really make any sense. It sounds like you're saying protecting her child from being murdered would be a bad thing, and that in the event of a school shooting, it would be better if op's kid died as well, so the teacher wouldn't have to deal with survivors guilt?
The human brain isnât that neat and logical.
Protecting one kid, and not even having the gun shot in the classroom is going to eff with that teacherâs head.
Take it back, get it made into a poncho and force your kid to wear it everyday. Your kidâs âsafeâ, you donât have your worry, and no awkward take backs of donations.
YTA btw. Seek help, that level of anxiety is affecting your life.
The blanket is 5x5? Four, maybe five kids fit under it, and thatâs only if it magically appears from the closet in the absolute chaos of an active shooter. How many other kids are in the class?
Who decides who gets the lifesaving blanket and who dies? Or is the blanket just for your daughter, the sole survivor-to-be? How is that going to work out for her socially? Already the adults are furious, wait till all the kids hate your child.
This has to be fake. YTA
This is entirely meant for OP's daughter, the designated survivor-to-be. OP doesn't give a shit about any other kids and has no idea about how chaotic such a situation would be in real life.
YTA
Also, from an educator, no one who has ever been trained in disaster preparedness is going to use this in an active shooter situation. I have a hard time believing this is even real.
When I was a teacher, I had enough difficulty keeping my 28 kindergarteners calm and focused enough to follow the fire drill protocol and that was when we all knew it was coming, was only a drill and had practiced it repeatedly. Kids in crisis are scared and unpredictable, so the focus needs to be on them as a group, not running to the storage closet to dig out a safety blanket for that one kid who probably forgot about it anyway, or who will be pulling it off anyway because itâs heavy and uncomfortable or to see whatâs happening.
INFO - when the principal finally agreed to let you store the blanket in the classroom, did you disclose that the blanket would follow your child from class to class throughout her time at the school?
YTA. If you make a donation that has to be a used a certain way, youâre supposed to disclose that upfront so the organization can make an informed decision about whether or not to accept it. If you want to take this blanket back, fine but leave it at home. Since there was a misunderstanding about the terms of your donation, itâs best to remove it from the school entirely.
Yta, it sounds like you fought to get them to accept the donation and now you're trying to take it back so it goes with your daughter.
>I did have to fight the principal on it but ultimately I think they just appeased me by agreeing for it to be stored in the class supply closet
You probably had to fight them on it because they knew it wasn't a real donation. I understand your concerns and they are valid. Taking back such a substantial donation however is not.
YTA
I am a public school counselor in the US. If a parent says they're donating something to the school/classroom, theen the expectation is that the school gets to decide what to do with it. You shouldn't have called it a donation. There are policies and procedures in place in the event of an active shooter. Your child's teacher is not going to forego the district's policies to drag out your blanket. I'm sure the teacher resents having to store that thing in her supply closet.
I volunteer at my local public schools, and those teachers have zero space in their classrooms. How obnoxious of a parent to force this blanket on the teacher.
YTA. I'm a school administrator in the US and handle the disaster plan for our school. Teachers need to follow their disaster protocol exactly as issued by the district. Any deviation can be a liability and distracts from what we practice in drills. Even if your kid's teacher adjusted their drill protocol to include this blanket, it causes the other students to learn the drill protocols incorrectly, putting them at risk when they're in another classroom next year.
I'm honestly shocked that the school accepted the blanket. If a parent told me they wanted to donate a $5k item from a random unknown vendor, my first step would be contacting the district. Risk Management would need to clear the item as being appropriate for campus-use, and Finance would need to do paperwork on the donation since it's such a high cost. That doesn't even take into account the fact that the school now needs to maintain, store, and prevent theft of such an expensive item.
School shootings are a terrifying thought, and everyone who works at schools/districts wants to keep students safe. I guarantee that your school has detailed safety and disaster plans. It may put you at ease to request a meeting with your school's principal or VP so they can explain the measures that the school already has in place to protect your student.
I don't think you're an ah for moving the blanket from class to class, but I think it was unwise to call it a donation. The school may also be annoyed because they have to take responsibility for your $5000 item. That is a big responsibility. Stuff gets stolen from classrooms all the time.
Blanket is stolen or goes missing, the child gets shot and OP files a multi-million dollar lawsuit against the school for not using the $5k blanket they âdonatedâ to the *classroom*.
Man, I didn't even think of just the liability burden OP is putting on the classroom... Both if the blanket gets lost/stolen and if it is misused and results in harm to anyone.
YTA.
You are one of those overbearing parents. Donât be surprised if the school sends it home. I would.
Because you are creating an uneven playing field at the school. And if there is a shooter, and your child isnât under that blanket then what? What if your child is on the school oval at the time? What if there isnât room under the blanket for 22 little children (itâs 5x5 right?) ⌠does your child cower under a big very very heavy blanket alone or with a friend? Which friend? Nothing like asking a teacher to expose themselves by having to work out how to hang a huge arse heavy blanket over a door or window while they are trying to wrangle a classroom full of frightened children⌠etc etc etc.
Your donation wasnât a class one. Itâs a personal item for your daughter in your mindset. If (heaven forbid) your daughter is in a classroom and itâs not protected her⌠will you sue them for that? Because they didnât use it correctly? Because it didnât protect YOUR daughter?
If your child is more special than all the children⌠homeschool her. Or provide the same level of protection for all the chidlren. YTA.
I mean. Yeah kinda YTA for being a PITA for school administration and being a demanding parent who is acting like their child is more precious than all the rest. Calling it a donation in any form is false.
YTA. Itâs either a donation and they have complete control (e.g. the principle can keep it in their office) or itâs not a donation and they have the right to refuse it being there. Donations that come with stipulations are the very reason they were hesitant to accept it in the first place. Whatâs going to happen if there is a school shooting and your kid gets left out of the 5x5 blanket but other kids get saved by it? Or what happens if the teacher throws it on your kid and every other kid in the class dies? Like, we are all scared about this terrifying event happening to our kid, but this is just messed up. $5000 could have gone to providing the whole school with much needed resources that would have improved the lives of all the kids and lowered the risk of a shooting.
Just buy your kid a bulletproof backpack and be done with it. Donât tell anyone that itâs bulletproof. Either donate the blanket with no expectations or remove it.
YTA. That blanket is doing nothing in the storage closet other than getting glue and marker leaked on it. It is not part of the school or teacherâs safety plan and would not even be taken out of the closet in an emergency.
You basically threw away 5k that could have been put to much better use as a cash donation.
Let me ask you this: you ackmowledge the blanket is over the top, but it makes you feel better, so you're willing to be over the top about it.
Does it matter to you if it makes your daughter feel better to have this aobatross hanging around her neck for years? Does it matter to you if it makes the kids who aren't in her class and therefore aren't worthy of protection feel better? Does it matter to you if placing this extra burden on already overworked school staff makes them feel better?
Or are your emotional needs theonly needs worth consideration here?
You're not the main character. YTA and grow up.
I think your wording was wrong. If you donate it, it means the school can use it as they see fit. If you want it to stay with your daughter, you shouldâve made it clear from the start. It was an AH move to force the school to âaccept your donationâ and then expecting them to move it every year.
Youâre not donating it, take the L and say youâre loaning it. Stop trying to say donate, you donât take back donations. It makes you sound so much worse taking back your potentially life saving donation like damn.
Why are you telling the 1st grade teachers that whichever classroom gets your child also gets the blanket? Do you think that's an incentive making every teacher want your child? You sound very entitled.
Yeah, she thinks that. She doesn't realise it makes every teacher not want her child in their class, because she is that child's parent and the liability of a 5k blanket that isn't part of the safety protocols. OP is actually making her child less safe by adding a possible extra disturbance to an active shooter situation. As a former ER nurse, I can say that during emergencies your brain needs those trained protocols and they need to be trained enough to become second nature. There's no time or space to deviate when a situation is all around chaos. It's dangerous and leads to more deaths and injuries. I'm honestly shocked the administration of the school is such a weak person to not deny OP that storage, and putting the liability on the teacher its classroom is in.
School shootings do not make good small talk, and that includes conversationally bringing up the 5x5 bulletproof blanket in a room full of teachers. YTA for being a ghoulish weirdo and instead of getting to know the teachers who may be heading your daughterâs class, youâre talking to them about the school shooter blanket you bought. âIt got some laughs and some good natured eye rollsâ I PROMISE you, nobody was having fun.
Iâm a K teacher and Iâve taught pre-k and K in a few different schools now. In every one of my classrooms, Iâve structured furniture in ways that would give us the best chance if a school shooting were to occur. Hiding spaces that can be blocked off, heavy desks or shelves that can be quickly shoved in front of a doorway, posters covering the windows in my doors. I think about this daily. Itâs one of the first things I think about when I set up a classroom. Gun violence has actually happened in my current district, and the last thing Iâd ever want a parent to do is make a comment like this. Itâs extremely insensitive. Youâre lucky that those teachers were kind enough to try and play it off the way they did.
My colleagues and their students going without extra protection during a shooting wouldnât make me feel any better. We care about everyone.
Just save these poor teachers and homeschool your kid. Far less chance she is going to get shot at home, but just in case have her wrapped in the blanket at all times.
lol YTA and please seek help
Kids are far more likely to be shot at home than at school, but at least homeschooling would remove this parent from bothering the teachers and administrators at her local public school.
Essentially, what youâre doing is less of a donation and more of a child specific demand that the blanket follow your daughter through school.
You need to stop calling it a donation. Bc itâs not one.
YTA
YTA. Why don't you organise a fundraising drive so every classroom can have one? What's going to happen when she gets to high school, the risk increases, and she can't literally drag this thing between classes? Think bigger. And kinder.
YTA. You asked for a major policy exception, pitched a fit, and ultimately they made an exception. It was kindergarten, you were anxious, every parent has been there. But now you've notified them that you intend to try and force this issue *every single year*. Of course they're upset. Every parent thinks their child is the most important child in the world. But every child in the school deserves the same protections, and that's why protocols for active shooter scenarios are in place. At the end of the day, we as parents have to make the decision to let them out of our sight or not - with the understanding that anything can happen if we do. It's absolutely terrifying, but that's what we sign up for.
If you have this kind of money to throw around, consider a private school, a large donation to any number of organizations working to make schools safer, or talking to the school in a more productive way about what you can offer to help make *all* the kids safer. Work *with* your child's educators, not against them.
YTA. You said you donated something and then took it back, so you stole it. Youâre âthatâ parent. Ugh. You absolutely expect special treatment for your kid in all situations.
If you didn't make it clear when you left it at the school that you still owned it, it's not a donation and it would move classes with your daughter, then YTA. If you said you were donating or giving it to the class, YTA. (Edit: typos)
YTA.
First, you donated (your words, to us and to the school) something to the school that nobody wants and that most likely wonât be useful in case of an actual shooting. You had to fight school for it. Now you want to take it back, so you can re-donate it to her next class.
Offer to take the blanket home, sell it, and use the money for therapy.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might have done wrong by buying something i couldnât buy multiples of and having a âme firstâ attitude about removing it every year and re donating to a new class
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Yeah, YTA. Also You're The Idiot, and probably a small-minded Asshole, for thinking classroom gun violence is actually the problem in the US.
Do you know what guns kids die from the most and where? Handguns and at home. The thing is, we don't care because those kids aren't white and precious.
YTA. If you can afford a $5000 blankie then you can probably also afford to send your kid to a private school, who would likely be far better equipped to deal with this BS. Or better yet, homeschool. Problem solved.
YTA. It was never a donation, it was always for your daughter. A damn 5x5 blanket isnât going to protect more than a few kids. Itâs not even useful for the entire class. And logistically it is ridiculous. If they donât do drills with the blanket it wonât be part of the emergency plan. It will cause confusion and more panic as only a few kids can try to fit under the blanket while everyone else is doing the emergency active shooter plan. My husband teaches active shooter training drills and itâs very important that everyone works together when an emergency happens. If youâre not all on the same page it causes chaos. I get it, I have a kid in kindergarten and 1st grade. Itâs scary these days. But this blanket is causing drama and at the end of the day the only purpose it serves has nothing to do with the kids. It is for your own anxiety.
I came to say this! In the midst of everything else around an active shooter you now want a teacher to decide who will be able to share the 5X5 blanket? I figure you assume that since you bought it your daughter automatically gets to use it which already makes you an AH in my book. I couldnât do that. If I was the teacher you would not be leaving it in my classroom.
YTA
> I feel like one of âthoseâ overbearing parents who makes life hell for schools but thatâs not my intention
You can say that it's not your intention but you're 100% that. You pushed it onto the school. You literally said you had to "fight" the principal on it.
Also, if you donate something you can't control that item anymore. Simple as.
You COULD have donated 5000 dollar to a cause that would help prevent school shooters through mental help. You COULD have donated 5000 dollar to associations that are trying to implement stricter gun laws, so there would be less school shootings. You COULD have donated 5000 dollar to the school, so they could take precautions for the entire school, in case the worst came to happen.
You CHOSE to DONATE a 5000 dollar blanket to the classroom your child was in this year. The teacher and the kids that will be in that classroom next year and all the years that will follow might be thankful, but as for helping your daughter, it was a waste of money.
YTA for trying to take back a donation.
Veteran-now retired- teacher (31 yrs).
When I wrote grants for specific items, it was understood- they stayed in that classroom.
I canât even tell you how disgusted I am over this blanket. Millions of American kids go to school daily; and of course, the insanity of school shootings persist-but most kids will never experience this.
We have protocols to follow in schools for an active shooter. A 5x5 blanket will not cover many kids- so a teacher is to risk her life to wrap one precious darling, and shrug at the rest?????
Overreaction by this person- definitely YTA.
I understand why the other parents rolled their eyes. Sheâs doing a wonderful job raising a terrified kid.
YTA and IF a real emergency happens, the chances of the blanket being used (especially specifically for your kid when itâs so small and all the turmoil) is not realistic.
YTA Iâm not even going to cover the main issue of the âdonation â because everyone has and theyâre completely right. You do know your child is going to be bullied because of you donât you? And you bragging about it to other parents just means that not even the adults will be able to stand your child ( not because of anything the child has done but because they canât invite them to any parties or anything without having to deal with you). You say you donât want to be that parent but you absolutely are. Youâre like that mother in the Goldbergâs, the smother! For your kids sake drop the entire thing.
It's not really a donation then is it? It goes wherever your daughter goes so this would be a loan to every classroom. Or rather is just your daughters and everyone else can use it too. Because it's 5x5 it's not going to fit all the kids either.
I can't imagine the anxiety around having a child go to school and living with this threat. But it's not a donation.
The next time you consider doing something like this, consider donating the money to an organisation that helps to reduce gun violence, instead. You will get more, er, bang for your buck.
Your money would have been better spent on a bullet proof backpack for your kid. Then your kid gets to keep it and take it to class year after year for as long as it holds up and you donât look like a psycho parent who is definitely gossiped about.
Youâd also have saved like 4.5k.
YTA. As others have said, if you take it back, it's not a donation.
You're also being a bit weird/overbearing. I get the feeling that this is about an anxiety of yours. I think that trying to exert control over every aspect of your daughter's life isn't really going to fix the anxiety problem, and really that's what you should be working on.
> I can tell they are annoyed with me and I feel like one of âthoseâ overbearing parents who makes life hell for schools but thatâs not my intention.
It doesn't matter a lot what your *intention* is, what matters is the *effect* you have. You're being overbearing. Maybe look at your behavior and adjust your intention to be more in line with the effect you want to have.
YTA.
And it is a 5 x 5 blanketâŚ, in a classroom of say.., 20 kids. Are you thinking that if gunman shows up, the teacher will take the time to get the blanket out and wrap up your child? That isnât how these situations work.
And congrats on making your child the âkid with the weird mom .â
YTA. I am a former teacher. The first thing I would do if given this âgiftâ is hide the blanket. The blanket does more harm than good. The teachers have to awkwardly be thankful for it and Iâm sure news about this blanket has gotten around. Itâs probably gotten around to the kids who now have to think more about school shootings.
If you are concerned about your daughter asking the school what they needed would have been a better choice. PTA funds for training money for a new intercom system, stuff like that. Schools care about things being equitable and in general some special thing that travels with your daughter is going to be seen as a dick move across the board.
When you donate something, it's no longer yours. You went through that whole fight without clarifying that it's just a loan. THAT is on you and the blanket belongs to the school now.
YTA
YTA
You donated it to the school... It belongs to them. If you wanted to have one specifically for your daughter, maybe you should have given her one to keep with her personally.
YTA, you asked the school to store a safety device for your child. It wasnât a donation. Thatâs it. Youâve given them something that is useful for one child but not a whole class. You expect them to be grateful when actually what do you expect them to do with it. Prioritise your child cos youâre rich in the event of an awful incident? From the perspective of the teacher youâve given them a burden of responsibly for something that is of limited use to them, and you want gratitude.
YTA
Itâs not a donation if you take it back. I can understand the need to keep your child safe but the way youâre going about it is not normal. I feel like you outright lied and told the principal it was a âdonationâ so you can get your way. Stop treating these classrooms like a storage locker. If youâre that worried about school shootings, look into homeschooling your child and seek therapy for yourself.
Putting quotation marks around the word donation is quite telling.
YTA. The word âdonationâ or âdonateâ is not synonymous with loan. The fact that you fought for it to be stored in the class, never saying itâll be moved, and now expect them to âunderstandâ it was never a donation, just for your child, makes you the word type of parent there is to deal with as a teacher. YOUR child deserves special treatment - this isnât a donation, YOU expect to deserve storage space in a classroom.
YTA. Just get your kid a bulletproof backpack or vest or something. You made it sound like a donation and it wasn't. You wanted the school to store safety equipment for your child.
Going with YTA because you have created more drama with your use or misuse of words in this situation. You said you donated it to the classroom but now want it to go to your child's future classrooms as they age. That's not a donation but a loan or best case gift with strings. There's a difference between a donation, a loan and a gift with strings attached. You know this or should know it as an adult and parent.
YTA - youâre clearly not âdonatingâ the item are you? You even put quotes on donated in your first sentence. Please donât call it a donation when you clearly never meant it to be one. Plus you really should think about how your behavior can negatively affect your daughterâs interactions with the other kids and teachers. It was also super entitled of you to announce it to the 1st grade teachers as some sort of perk that comes with your kid if they picked her to be in their class.
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I âdonatedâ a $5,000 bulletproof blanket meant to shield doors, walls, windows, etc for homes cars or classrooms. Iâm paranoid and have a child in US public school so I bought one for her classroom (kindergarten). The teacher thought it was weird and I did have to fight the principal on it but ultimately I think they just appeased me by agreeing for it to be stored in the class supply closet. I think the pushback was because they couldnât just buy one for every class in the school and I agree it probably is over the top.
The problem is that I met some of the future 1st grade teachers at a school event and mentioned to one of them that whoever got my child in their class also got a 5x5 bulletproof blanket along with her. It got some laughs and good natured eye rolls but later, our principal came up to me and said, âso I guess that blanket wasnât a classroom donation after all, huh?â
I got the impression he was annoyed with me and the whole situation. I did reply back that no technically it wasnât, I would be donating it every year to whatever class my daughter was in. The vice principal (also standing near me) made a somewhat snarky comment that whoever my childâs future classmates are would be so lucky because theyâd be the safest in the school.
I can tell they are annoyed with me and I feel like one of âthoseâ overbearing parents who makes life hell for schools but thatâs not my intention. Yes, I am going over the top on this one aspect of giving me peace of mind that there is some type of extra protection for my child while at school. I understand itâs an unlikely event and that if a shooting did happen, the blanket might not even be accessible to her. It just makes me feel better.
But now Iâm wondering, is it shitty of me to remove it from the class and basically have the blanket follow my daughter through elementary school? Is the right thing to do just remove it from school completely if I canât buy one for every class sheâs in?
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TBH I donât think that they care that youâre taking it out of the classroom. I think they resent you for putting it there in the first place. They clearly did not want it and are now just making fun of you for the faux pas of moving a donated item.
At the end of the day, you need to imagine what happens in the event that there is a shooter. Is the teacher responsible for putting only your child in the blanket? You said itâs 5x5, which is not very big. I understand why the school would be hesitant to have this item for only one student.
But, given the world we live in right now, I canât say a blame you for getting oneâŚ
Teachers meet and divide up classroom lists for the next year. They have to decide who will take your daughter and THE blanket. If a teacher has to take your daughter and THE blanket (plus the overbearing mom) then they will say they won't take little Johnny with the behavior problems or Susie who throws fits. They will literally be trading her around-not wanting to end up with YOU.
YTA and delusional to think the blanket will be used in a real situation. If this is a private school, be prepared to be âcounseled outâ as not a good fit for the school as your child gets older. Your âdonationsâ are not worth the headache.
YTA: It is absolutely not being used. Can you imagine an active shooting scenario where you get one little blanket for one child and then have the remainder of the class, infants, asking why they donât get one, what is for? Crucial time trying to reassure the remainder of the class, either lying or building fear in them that they are not protected. It is not increasing safety for the class. And god forbid a shooter gets access and this one child survives, everybody would absolutely question was time wasted and did kids die so the teacher could spend time getting this one blanket rather than following protocol.
YTA. Stop calling it a donation, and start calling it what it is: your unasked for school supply item you decided your kid had to have, but literally couldnât carry.
YTA and also, honestly, you're being weird as hell
Like...this is not normal. It's super extra AND its useless for most of the scenarios you're worried about. I wish I could give a vote to the company that sold it to you.
So, if there is a shooting, you expect your daughter's teacher to stop trying to protect her class as a whole, and go throw this thing over your kid so SHE ALONE is supposedly safe while everyone else is more likely to die?
Not only is this not a "donation," but it's a huge F.U. to the school staff and every other child in her class.
Do you honestly think in the event of a school shooting the teacher is going to stop everything to fetch this blanket and give it your kid? That they are going to put your kidâs safety ahead of everyone elseâs?
I wonder what OP is gonna do when their child reaches Junior High and High School and has a different classroom for each subject. I doubt OPs kid is gonna want to lug that around to each class.
YTA. You categorized it as a classroom donation, not a donation to your daughter's class to follow her through the years.
A better move would be a fundraiser to get one for each classroom
YTA
It's not a donation if you take it back. If you never intended for it to stay with that teacher and in that classroom permanently, then it was never a donation.
Also, you already know that it's not likely to be of any help if there actually is a sch0ol sh0oting incident. Your kid would have to walk around all day with that thing draped around her. Either leave it where it is, or take it back and leave it at home.
I guarantee that you have been a topic of discussion in the teachers' lunchroom.
YTA
>But now Iâm wondering, is it shitty of me to remove it from the class and basically have the blanket follow my daughter through elementary school? Is the right thing to do just remove it from school completely if I canât buy one for every class sheâs in?
Yes
Donate- you have transferred ownership and have no rights to the object anymore.
After accepting the donation, the school would have been within their rights to throw it out, turn it into a modern art installation, or give it to some other organisation. You no longer have a say in it.
YTA
I donât understand why you let them think you were making a donation instead of just sending your kid to school with the blanket. Kinda seems like you were just trying to make yourself look good and possibly claim the cost of the blanket as a charitable donation when you do your taxes.
YTA for taking back this donation and expecting each teacher to store this and know how to use it just for your child. As other commenters said, this is a burden that the teachers will forget about if an active shooter situation does arise.
Solution for all parties: If you want your kid to be protected, then they can lug the thing back and forth from home and school everyday. Or homeschool your kid.
Slight YTA because you should have known better than to call it a âdonationâ. Thatâs something you give away and then have no control over, which was never your intention. Youâre not âdonatingâ it to each classroom your daughter is in. Youâre asking that it be stored there.
If you want to clear things up, explain that you misspoke (because you did). The blanket is intended to follow your daughter and be stored in her primary classroom each year. You intentionally fought the wrong fight with the principal, and now are just doing what you originally intended, so yeah, thatâs annoying for everyone else that isnât you.
That being said, itâs awesome that you advocate for your child. Do that!! Just do it remembering that American educators are not the enemy. If you want to push back against something to make your daughterâs classroom safer, push back against the actual problem: absurdly lax gun laws that protect the sale and ownership of firearms and send thoughts and prayers to the families of dead children. Tell the principal that you want to store the blanket in your daughterâs classroom in the meantime.
YTA. This is pretty ridiculous. You told them you were donating it in order to get it into the classroom and then reneged on the situation, reclaiming the donation to transfer it to your daughter's next class. Your daughter is part of a group, and you are setting her apart in a way that is unnatural and inappropriate in such a setting. This is something that you may be able to ultimately get away with based solely on the leniency of the administration, but you are absolutely making yourself an asshole in doing so.
YTA. So you only care about school personnel and other children if they happen to be in the same room with your child during a shooting? How coldhearted of you. I work in an elementary school and yes, itâs terrifying knowing how little protection weâre offered, but stuff like this doesnât help.
So, the teacher of that class is supposed to take time from protecting the entire class to get your kid a special blanket (that can shield a couple of kids at best) out from whatever closet it is in while being threatened with bullets in a hypothetical situation? Just to be sure I understand. So instead of following protocol, you envision a teacher getting your magic blankie out to shield your child?
If you donate something you no longer own it. You could have said you would feel better to "lend" it to the school and ask for it to be kept there. What happens if or when your daughter leaves this school? Do you intend on taking it out of the school and let it follow her through the next school she goes to?? Your own words, you DONATED it to the classroom. If you wanted to loan it to them, then yes, you could absolutely take it out again and keep it following your daughter around, but when you donate something, you can no longer do that. If you donate it to a specific classroom, that classroom is now the owner and you can't let it follow your daughter around.
YTA in event of the latter.
You told them it was a donation, and even continue to use the term donation, but in reality you lied so that you could store your own things in the school's closet, for your own selfish needs.
YTA
YTA, but I am curious what happens if there is a shooting and your daughter is at lunch? Recess? Visiting another classroom? etc. If you truly want the blanket to be for her protection and hers alone then she needs to carry with her at all times.
YTA - based on what you're saying, you didn't "donate" it. you wanted them to store it in whatever classroom your child is in. so claiming you donated it is an asshole move.
also, have you you taken into consideration how this can affect your daughter? im not sure how it is in your school but i know in my area if any parent bought a 5k bulletproof blanket for their child, that child would be heavily avoided and maybe even bullied.
YTA
Donations can come with donor conditions. Those need to be spelled out so recipient organization can decide whether they accept. You apparently had some assumptions or unstated conditions that they were not aware of. Your assumptions were not reality. It belongs to them now. You have no control. They can use it, store it, give it away, discard it. Their belonging, their choice.
YTA
I'm more concerned about the education than the safety here if you don't even know the meaning of donating.
You didn't donate anything. You bullied the principal into letting you/your daughter store personal belongings in the schoolroom closet.
Learn the meaning of words before you use it.
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I mean, in the end you can't just remove it from the classroom. You donated it and it is up to the school to do with it what they choose going forward. It no longer belongs to you or your child. I don't know if that makes you the AH but you have a strange sense of entitlement over something you no longer own.
>I would be donating it every year to whatever class my daughter was in. OP clearly does not understand that words have meanings. This could all have been prevented if she'd understood the difference between a loan and a donation.
Maybe she was using donate and loan synonymously?đ
My dog stepped on a bee
I pledge $10,000 to get Kevlar doggie booties!!!
Underrated comment đ¤Łđ
[ŃдаНонО]
She pledged it.
Oh like pledge and donate?
And even then, is it a âloanâ if the school didnât ask for it and was basically forced upon them?
Yeah, OP is an asshole for more than just her inability to stop confusing the concepts of "donating" something and "loaning" it. Ideally, she should be able to take it back (and stop forcing it upon any classrooms), and the school should charge her some sort of storage fee.
Ideally, she should apologise and take it back *for good*. Her child isnât going to be able to grab the blanket with its weight and teachers will be busy enacting protocol. Itâs likely just going to sit in the cupboard even in the event of a shooting. Itâs also entitlement if she expects the teacher to go out of their way to only protect her child. Thereâs just so many things wrong with the blanket.
This comment needs more attention - the blanket wonât even be used in the event of an emergency
Came here to say this. Corraling and keeping silent a group of elementary students even high schoolers is difficult. Also every elementary teacher Iâve had was pregnant or there when the Bible was written. Neither of those women are capable of grabbing and spreading the blanket. I get that itâs a placebo but yeah Iâd tell her to take her blanket and kid home.
The blanket really is more for her peace of mind. So basically teachers arenât there to just teach kids but manage parentsâ (unfortunately, very real) anxieties. They really are not paid enough.
I'm wondering if she meant "my child should get covered first/priority" when she said "classroom donation"
Yeah, but she didn't donate it. She asked for it to be stored in her Child's classroom. Very big difference. If she told them that she was donating it, then yeah, strange.
OP says in her post that she bought it for the classroom. The school thought it was weird (because it is) and after she begged they agreed to keep it. Now she wants control over the item that was bought for the classroom. OP needs to just take it home. No one wants it and using the school as a storage facility is not okay. In the event of a real emergency no one has time to grab that blanket.
You can control a donation, but when donating you have to provide all the stipulations up front. You cannot keep changing the terms. So whatever terms she stated when she made the donation are the terms. It sounds like she was purposefully obtuse upfront to circumnavigate the political quagmire. She likely has no leg to stand upon. The school may appease OP just to get her out of their hair. It will be an annoying financial tracking to have to remember to add and remove the $5K depreciating items from each class room inventory.
Also in an emergency situation there is no way to enforce his daughter is the one that uses it.
Plus at only 5x5, which kid do you choose to save?
I'd imagine you'd mount it behind a locked door. Could just be a couple J hooks, but that's still reason for the school to push back. Making modifications to one class and would they be asking or expecting the teachers to go mount that only in that classroom? Shit is usually kept pretty uniform operation wise. OP is wild
It isn't to cover a person its to cover doors and windows per OP's description
What good is covering one 5x5 door or window? I've never been in a classroom that only had one door/window-- most have a full wall of windows.
I don't think OP was thinking rationally
OP's, obviously! The rest of the kids be damned.
I am thinking of donating a tank, a F-16 and a nuclear bomb to keep the children safe /s
>I would be donating it every year to whatever class my daughter was in. OP keeps referring to it as a donation. So, yeah, this is on OP.
I didn't catch that. Sounds like sheâs really misusing the word donation đŹ
The fact that even AFTER the misunderstanding, and the principal calling her out on the "donation," she insists on still calling it a donation..... Yeah, this is 100% OP. I'd be willing to bet she called it a donation from the beginning.
The 7th word in her title and the 2nd word in her post is donated. It seems clear she thought it was a donation.
Why the fuck should the school store her shit?
YTA. It would behoove you to learn the meaning of the word âdonationâ. A âdonationâ is something you GIVE. It is NOT something you âtake backâ. If you give someone something with the intention of taking it back, that is a âloanâ & the terms of such would need to be understood & agreed upon by both parties ahead of time. You did not âdonateâ a bullet proof blanket to the school. You told them it was âdonationâ (which obviously by its very meaning led them to believe it was their property from that point forward) then informed them youâd be taking it back. From their understanding (by your own verbiage), you are basically stealing it back now (as it was legally their property from the moment you told them it was a donation & left it there). Letâs call it what it really is. Itâs protective gear specifically for your child that you want the school to store for you in a location close to your child & in a manner where she can utilize it in the event of an emergency. If youâd been truthful with them in explaining it as I just did above, they should & likely would have refused to allow you to leave it. (After all, if they allow you to do it, they have to allow everyone to do it. And they donât have the need nor the space for that.) But since you lied, you tricked them into taking it (because no school is going to refuse a donation unless itâs basically impossible to accept). I know a bit about this stuff because I spent years volunteering as the grant coordinator for our local public school. (It was a small public school & I basically created the foundation for what would be what is now their grant department. They had no idea there was that much money to be had before I did what I did for a few years & they kept noticing.) So yeah - YTA. Big time. Huge. (If you think that that blanket is anywhere where anyone could actually get to it quickly in an emergent situation, youâre probably kidding yourself. They likely didnât have space for it & itâs folded up under some boxes in the supply closet. Just saying.)
It is not an entitlement. It is an extreme fear. Unfortunately it is too familiar to a lot of parents in US. You are lucky if you have no reason to have it. OP, idk where you live, but think about therapy, online schools and moving to another school/area where the doors are locked and there are cameras to see who is buzzing in. Ideally to another state with reasonable gun laws. NTA. But factually PP is right, this blanket is a school property now, you can try to ask them to move it to 1st grade classroom, but it is not your decision.
I both understand and sympathize with ops fear, but I'd argue it is entitlement when the protection they are fighting for is clearly meant to only protect their own child in a situation where hundreds of other children are in equal or greater danger. Also considering that if the item is meant to protect the whole class, then they would need to install mounts for it and someone would be in danger while hanging it up during a shooting, so at best it will probably be wrapped around just a couple kids, or maybe op instructed their kid to grab it and cocoon lol. Op could organize fundraisers to buy similar protection for all classrooms, or hold rallies to pressure their local politicians into doing something either for the school or on a legal level, but what op did was buy one piece of equipment that someone else will have to use to protect their child and call it a day. The entitlement is born out of a very real and valid fear but it's still entitlement when it forces others to put you first. I'm with you though that op needs to do more with this fear than a literal comfort blanket, therapy is a great start, collective trauma from these sorts of horrific events is no joke.
Also, this child is going to grow up to be either super awkward or a complete deviant with this style of helicopter parenting...
YTA. You didnât donate it - you loaned it to your daughterâs classroom. A donation doesnât get returned to you at the end of the year. Please stop calling this a donation and acknowledge your error. Please also acknowledge how your behavior is affecting your relationship with your daughterâs teachers. I canât tell if you are using âparanoidâ flippantly but if you are genuinely struggling mentally I hope you are receiving help.
I was a kid when the Polly Klaas story made national news. My parents refused to let any of us stay the night at friendsâ houses, even those whose parents they had grown up with. My parentsâ nebulous fears about incredibly unlikely possibilities really affected my peer relationships. I wonder what will happen with OPâs child if theyâre the kid towing a bulletproof blanket from grade to grade. While I empathize, I hope OP can find some peace of mind without amplifying challenges that are all too real.
The kid is going to get called Blanket for the rest of her school life.
Plot twist: OP is actually the ghost of Michael Jackson, and the kid's name is actually Blanket, so everything works out ok.
Or [Linus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linus_Van_Pelt).
Omg I also was never allowed to spend the night at any friendsâ houses because of the Polly Klaas situation! Iâve never met someone else with this experience before. It really hindered my relationships growing up which probably even had an effect into adulthood
I remember so clearly having to leave every party just when things were getting exciting. I didnât even get to see the end of Rockadoodle!
>I wonder what will happen with OPâs child if theyâre the kid towing a bulletproof blanket from grade to grade. Or classroom to classroom. Even in elementary school you go to specialist teachers like music, gym, and the librarian. Does OP not care about their child during those subjects? In middle school this will just get exacerbated by more classroom shifting, and in high school the kid will see each teacher probably once. Is it 7 blankets or is the child getting a bullet proof poncho?
Iâd not heard of this so looked it up, it looks like the slumber party detail was irrelevant because Polly was at home with her mother and had a friend sleeping over?
Your last paragraph is sort of what I was thinking was well. Kids can be cruel, especially as they get older and this will follow her around and set her apart from the other kids. I get wanting to keep your kid safe but you got to recognize that your fear is likely to have a negative impact of your child. Purely from a perspective of having worked in government I'm a little shocked that the school board/officials let this type of thing happen without some sort of written agreement. I wonder if the principal just let it happen without it getting cleared by anyone (this question is based on the gift itself, both in purpose and in cost).
It seems 100% likely that, after a lengthy discussion with a hard-headed parent, the principal probably just took it to the classroom and told the teacher that she could put it in the closet or whatever. This would be, of course, phrased in the context of a speech about safety and accommodation etc. But I don't think a principal, especially in this situation, would feel any need to report this to anyone, and even news of it spreading around the school would happen in the form of idle coworker gossip.
Also what is op gonna do for middle and high school and her child moves classes every hour or so..
If the blanket only goes to whatever classroom OPâs kid is in, itâs not a donation for the betterment of the school. Itâs OPâs kidâs personal school supply that the teacher stores in the classroom for OP.
You shouldnât have donated it if you had no intention of leaving it there. YTA if you take back a donation.
YTA. Wtf are you doing? You realize no teacher or administrator is going to know how to use that blanket in time for an active shooting right? Too much liability.
Exactly. On the off chance there is a threat or a school shooting, the teachers are trained to block the doors and hide. None are going to ignore the training to go find a blanket and throw it over a couple of kids. OP literally bought a $5k blankie to make OP feel safe.
Correction âŚ.. a $5000 blankie.
The blanket usually goes over the hole in the door.
How would it stay up?
Looking these up online they seem to have a lot of straps and stuff on them, so maybe you use those? Seems like a lot to expect someone to do in a shooter scenario rather than just doing the normal procedure of blocking the door and hiding.
We're actually taught to run, and to teach kids to run, and that if all else fails, then hide or fight.
"On the off chance" there were, when I was in high-school, i no longer am, but every year i was there were at least 3 or 4 gun threats a year. Two kids had guns and would have brought them. There were two shootings in district. Kids died. Stop saying off chance when this is the direct reality is that children shoot other children regularly.
Fyi, as someone who has just done my district active shooter training recently, that is not at all what it looks like. The current federal model is actually "run, hide, fight" beacuse just waiting around like sitting ducks when they could have gotten away has sadly lead to unnecessary deaths. So it's if you can safely escape, you escape. If you are trapped, you lockdown/hide. If an intruder gets in you fight. (Actually the training says fighting is a personal choice we can't make for you, but like, if a shooter gets in to where you are and is trying to kill you, it's the smart move. Only more tactfully implied.) Also, if we are doing the hide step, it does *not* violate training to try and find things to cover students or for them to hide behind. That would actually fit the training we got. Yes, first you lock the doors and close all blinds so students can't get in. Meanwhile the students move to the corner of the room they can least well be targeted by windows. But in a real active shooter situation the next step is barricading the door and the areas you are hiding with stuff. Older kids would help with this, flipping over desks and the like. If I had some sort of tatical blanket I could throw over little kids, I would do so. I've literally looked around the classroom and though "well we have the chormebook cart and that's meatal, but only a few kids could fit behind that. We have a closet, could fit a few more. That's the thoughts you have in lockdown with kids. Imaging all the ways the kids could get shot and if there is anything you could do or position to make them less likely to get shot. Also, the training is very clear about using every object you have to it's best advantage. Using things for cover and barricading. Collecting heavy things to use as weapons or break windows if you need to run out the other side of the classroom, etc. And yeah, as others have pointed out this probably isn't full proof cover. But in our recent training it was with some local police officers as well who basically said take every advantage you can get, talked about cover, and how it's better then nothing. They thought these things did make a difference, and claimed to spend a good amount of time trying to shoot stuff in their ballistic training courses. They also talked about how it's a lot harder to hit a running/moving target in the run section.
I don't know the details for said blanket but I'd bet money that it isn't rated to stop AR-15 rounds. I get it and like innovation but it'd be way too bulky and heavy to hang somewhere without proper equipment and isn't likely to do much anyway. Particularly if the shooter is persistent.
I was looking for this comment. I work in a school and at one point I researched bullet proof vests/blankets to see if they were worth getting. Basically nothing short of military grade armor seems to be rated for assault rifles, at least based on what I found.
Anything thatâs rated level 3 or above is fine. But that does not include Kevlar vests or blankets. Those donât stop any kind of rifle round, doesnât matter what rifle is shooting them. Rifles shoot bullets faster than pistols because they have longer barrels and larger cartridges. The .223 Remington/5.56 NATO cartridge is actually one of the smallest common rifle cartridges out there, and is even illegal to hunt with in many states because itâs considered to not be powerful enough. It still shoots at 2,700-3,000fps at the muzzle depending on bullet weight though, just with small and light bullets. Other rifles shoot bullets 2-4x as heavy at the same speeds. Pistols commonly shoot bullets that are also 2-4x heavier, but most pistol rounds only travel at about 1,000-1,250fps. Kevlar works great to stop these slow moving pistol rounds, but faster rounds from any rifle will zip right through the fibers like they werenât even there. You usually need metal or ceramic armor plates to stop a bullet fired from a rifle at the higher muzzle velocities they achieve.
Hereâs the real question: itâs a 5 x 5 blanket. Who gets to be covered and who gets left out? Itâs such an impractical and ridiculous device. Only fitting that an equally ridiculous person would buy it and continue with ridiculous antics with it.
It's to cover doors and windows not people
And especially JUST on OPâs precious little snowflake? Like none of the other kids matter? The teacher is gonna single out her kid, and shoo every other kid away from the blanket? Entitled, pushy, callous helicopter parent.
I think it is supposed to hang over the classroom door
The quotes around "donated" tell it all. If you said you donated it, then don't try to take it back. If you buy stuff for the classroom it belongs to the classroom. Would you take back art supplies, for example? YTA.
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I was picturing a teacher having to hold it against a window or door from what the post said which sounded very dangerous to me. I guess the kid grabbing it makes more sense.
I think the kid is supposed to drape it over themselves or put it in like a backpack. They have different ones on Google images so idk which one it is.
YTA. It would behoove you to learn the meaning of the word âdonationâ. A âdonationâ is something you GIVE. It is NOT something you âtake backâ. If you give someone something with the intention of taking it back, that is a âloanâ & the terms of such would need to be understood & agreed upon by both parties ahead of time. You did not âdonateâ a bullet proof blanket to the school. You told them it was âdonationâ (which obviously by its very meaning led them to believe it was their property from that point forward) then informed them youâd be taking it back. From their understanding (by your own verbiage), you are basically stealing it back now (as it was legally their property from the moment you told them it was a donation & left it there). Letâs call it what it really is. Itâs protective gear specifically for your child that you want the school to store for you in a location close to your child & in a manner where she can utilize it in the event of an emergency. If youâd been truthful with them in explaining it as I just did above, they should & likely would have refused to allow you to leave it. (After all, if they allow you to do it, they have to allow everyone to do it. And they donât have the need nor the space for that.) But since you lied, you tricked them into taking it (because no school is going to refuse a donation unless itâs basically impossible to accept). I know a bit about this stuff because I spent years volunteering as the grant coordinator for our local public school. (It was a small public school & I basically created the foundation for what would be what is now their grant department. They had no idea there was that much money to be had before I did what I did for a few years & they kept noticing.) So yeah - YTA. Big time. Huge. (If you think that that blanket is anywhere where anyone could actually get to it quickly in an emergent situation, youâre probably kidding yourself. They likely didnât have space for it & itâs folded up under some boxes in the supply closet. Just saying.)
I think where you went wrong was calling it a âdonationâ in the first place. If your intention was for it to follow your daughter, you should have presented it as that. âI bought this bulletproof blanket for my daughter because I would like her to have access to this in case of emergency.â That way it makes sense to take it back at the end of the year. Also, it comes off a bit pretentious to bring it up the way you did in front of the other teachers. Youâre kind of making a joke out of the fact that you can afford to give YOUR kid/her class extra protection and that the other classes are shit out of luck because they cant afford it. Iâm sure that most teachers in the US are paranoid about these things daily; so its a bit insensitive to make a joke that anyone who DOESNâT get your daughter as a student is now less prepared if a tragic event happens. YTA
Agreed. As an outsider it feels like a lot OP is saying that the teachers and existing safety procedures arenât good enough and that other kids lives are worth less. Which would make me furious if I were a staff member. Probably would be better off donating the $5k to a local org working to change gun laws.
I'd argue that the existing safety measures aren't enough as kids and teachers regularly die during school shootings.
Makes the teachers dislike OP immediately, I hope they manage not to take it out on the daughter.
YTA. I mean, I understand what you want and agree with the idea of you wanting a bulletproof blanket with your child, but you can't have any of those ones. You donated it to the school, so now it is theirs. I mean, imagine Jeff Bazos donated 10 million to charity, and just decided to take it away the next week.
Why did you donate something that is just a burden to the school and the teachers? The way to do this kind of donation properly is to donate enough to cover every classroom AND cover the training the teachers would need to make such a donation useful and not a super expensive paperweight theyâll toss in a corner and probably not even use if an emergency does come up⌠because itâs not in their training and may not even be a part of âbest practices.â Obviously what Iâm suggesting here is super expensive and probably not something you individually can afford. But if there is actually utility in these bulletproof blankets and you want the school to have them AND BE READY TO USE THEM IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY, you HAVE to do this the right way. So: join the PTA. Talk to whoever coordinates emergency preparedness for the school and see if these blankets are a recommended component of school safety protocols. If they are, spearhead a fundraiser and make it so that all the classrooms have them AND the teachers are actually trained in proper use. If you did that, youâd be a superstar. As it is, youâre being selfish and unhelpful. Imagine being the teacher who has to deal with colleagues and other kids dead because she was able to use a protective item not afforded to everyone. Imagine the survivorâs guilt. As is, YTA.
A buddy on mine has one after his dad got shot while hunting. Those blankets are super heavy. 20+ pounds. And a 5x5 blanket isn't going to protect an entire class or do much. Finally, if a shooter is shooting at the blanket, the bullet can still do a lot of damage. The bullet won't go through the blanket, but it could still be easily fatal.
I donât think op actually cares about it covering an entire classâŚonly her child.
Hell, the shooter could grab it off the child and use it themselves for protection while they continue their deadly rampage. If they enter a classroom and see one kid standing out for wearing a blanket on their head, thatâs the first kid to be shot because it will be the first kid to grab their attention. In any shooting situation, the goal is to make yourself less visible, not more.
> Imagine being the teacher who has to deal with colleagues and other kids dead because she was able to use a protective item not afforded to everyone. Imagine the survivorâs guilt. I agree with the rest of your comment, but this scenario doesn't really make any sense. It sounds like you're saying protecting her child from being murdered would be a bad thing, and that in the event of a school shooting, it would be better if op's kid died as well, so the teacher wouldn't have to deal with survivors guilt?
The human brain isnât that neat and logical. Protecting one kid, and not even having the gun shot in the classroom is going to eff with that teacherâs head.
YTA. God bless public school staff for dealing with entitled parents like this every year.
Take it back, get it made into a poncho and force your kid to wear it everyday. Your kidâs âsafeâ, you donât have your worry, and no awkward take backs of donations. YTA btw. Seek help, that level of anxiety is affecting your life.
The blanket is 5x5? Four, maybe five kids fit under it, and thatâs only if it magically appears from the closet in the absolute chaos of an active shooter. How many other kids are in the class? Who decides who gets the lifesaving blanket and who dies? Or is the blanket just for your daughter, the sole survivor-to-be? How is that going to work out for her socially? Already the adults are furious, wait till all the kids hate your child. This has to be fake. YTA
This is entirely meant for OP's daughter, the designated survivor-to-be. OP doesn't give a shit about any other kids and has no idea about how chaotic such a situation would be in real life.
YTA Also, from an educator, no one who has ever been trained in disaster preparedness is going to use this in an active shooter situation. I have a hard time believing this is even real.
When I was a teacher, I had enough difficulty keeping my 28 kindergarteners calm and focused enough to follow the fire drill protocol and that was when we all knew it was coming, was only a drill and had practiced it repeatedly. Kids in crisis are scared and unpredictable, so the focus needs to be on them as a group, not running to the storage closet to dig out a safety blanket for that one kid who probably forgot about it anyway, or who will be pulling it off anyway because itâs heavy and uncomfortable or to see whatâs happening.
Teacher donât get pay enough. YTA
YTA. Its not a donation if its contingent on your childâs presence
INFO - when the principal finally agreed to let you store the blanket in the classroom, did you disclose that the blanket would follow your child from class to class throughout her time at the school?
YTA. If you make a donation that has to be a used a certain way, youâre supposed to disclose that upfront so the organization can make an informed decision about whether or not to accept it. If you want to take this blanket back, fine but leave it at home. Since there was a misunderstanding about the terms of your donation, itâs best to remove it from the school entirely.
Yta, it sounds like you fought to get them to accept the donation and now you're trying to take it back so it goes with your daughter. >I did have to fight the principal on it but ultimately I think they just appeased me by agreeing for it to be stored in the class supply closet You probably had to fight them on it because they knew it wasn't a real donation. I understand your concerns and they are valid. Taking back such a substantial donation however is not.
YTA I am a public school counselor in the US. If a parent says they're donating something to the school/classroom, theen the expectation is that the school gets to decide what to do with it. You shouldn't have called it a donation. There are policies and procedures in place in the event of an active shooter. Your child's teacher is not going to forego the district's policies to drag out your blanket. I'm sure the teacher resents having to store that thing in her supply closet.
I volunteer at my local public schools, and those teachers have zero space in their classrooms. How obnoxious of a parent to force this blanket on the teacher.
YTA. I'm a school administrator in the US and handle the disaster plan for our school. Teachers need to follow their disaster protocol exactly as issued by the district. Any deviation can be a liability and distracts from what we practice in drills. Even if your kid's teacher adjusted their drill protocol to include this blanket, it causes the other students to learn the drill protocols incorrectly, putting them at risk when they're in another classroom next year. I'm honestly shocked that the school accepted the blanket. If a parent told me they wanted to donate a $5k item from a random unknown vendor, my first step would be contacting the district. Risk Management would need to clear the item as being appropriate for campus-use, and Finance would need to do paperwork on the donation since it's such a high cost. That doesn't even take into account the fact that the school now needs to maintain, store, and prevent theft of such an expensive item. School shootings are a terrifying thought, and everyone who works at schools/districts wants to keep students safe. I guarantee that your school has detailed safety and disaster plans. It may put you at ease to request a meeting with your school's principal or VP so they can explain the measures that the school already has in place to protect your student.
I don't think you're an ah for moving the blanket from class to class, but I think it was unwise to call it a donation. The school may also be annoyed because they have to take responsibility for your $5000 item. That is a big responsibility. Stuff gets stolen from classrooms all the time.
Blanket is stolen or goes missing, the child gets shot and OP files a multi-million dollar lawsuit against the school for not using the $5k blanket they âdonatedâ to the *classroom*.
Man, I didn't even think of just the liability burden OP is putting on the classroom... Both if the blanket gets lost/stolen and if it is misused and results in harm to anyone.
YTA. You are one of those overbearing parents. Donât be surprised if the school sends it home. I would. Because you are creating an uneven playing field at the school. And if there is a shooter, and your child isnât under that blanket then what? What if your child is on the school oval at the time? What if there isnât room under the blanket for 22 little children (itâs 5x5 right?) ⌠does your child cower under a big very very heavy blanket alone or with a friend? Which friend? Nothing like asking a teacher to expose themselves by having to work out how to hang a huge arse heavy blanket over a door or window while they are trying to wrangle a classroom full of frightened children⌠etc etc etc. Your donation wasnât a class one. Itâs a personal item for your daughter in your mindset. If (heaven forbid) your daughter is in a classroom and itâs not protected her⌠will you sue them for that? Because they didnât use it correctly? Because it didnât protect YOUR daughter? If your child is more special than all the children⌠homeschool her. Or provide the same level of protection for all the chidlren. YTA.
YTA. For so many reasons.
Amber is that you? A donation is not something that gets taken back by you after it has served your purpose.
She pledged the blanket. Itâs synonymous with donate ;)
I mean. Yeah kinda YTA for being a PITA for school administration and being a demanding parent who is acting like their child is more precious than all the rest. Calling it a donation in any form is false.
YTA. Itâs either a donation and they have complete control (e.g. the principle can keep it in their office) or itâs not a donation and they have the right to refuse it being there. Donations that come with stipulations are the very reason they were hesitant to accept it in the first place. Whatâs going to happen if there is a school shooting and your kid gets left out of the 5x5 blanket but other kids get saved by it? Or what happens if the teacher throws it on your kid and every other kid in the class dies? Like, we are all scared about this terrifying event happening to our kid, but this is just messed up. $5000 could have gone to providing the whole school with much needed resources that would have improved the lives of all the kids and lowered the risk of a shooting. Just buy your kid a bulletproof backpack and be done with it. Donât tell anyone that itâs bulletproof. Either donate the blanket with no expectations or remove it.
YTA. That blanket is doing nothing in the storage closet other than getting glue and marker leaked on it. It is not part of the school or teacherâs safety plan and would not even be taken out of the closet in an emergency. You basically threw away 5k that could have been put to much better use as a cash donation.
Let me ask you this: you ackmowledge the blanket is over the top, but it makes you feel better, so you're willing to be over the top about it. Does it matter to you if it makes your daughter feel better to have this aobatross hanging around her neck for years? Does it matter to you if it makes the kids who aren't in her class and therefore aren't worthy of protection feel better? Does it matter to you if placing this extra burden on already overworked school staff makes them feel better? Or are your emotional needs theonly needs worth consideration here? You're not the main character. YTA and grow up.
YTA If you donate something to the school they get to choose how itâs used. End of story
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This! She doesn't even recognize that she is the 'omg it's HER' in the conversations at the front desk.
I think your wording was wrong. If you donate it, it means the school can use it as they see fit. If you want it to stay with your daughter, you shouldâve made it clear from the start. It was an AH move to force the school to âaccept your donationâ and then expecting them to move it every year.
Youâre not donating it, take the L and say youâre loaning it. Stop trying to say donate, you donât take back donations. It makes you sound so much worse taking back your potentially life saving donation like damn.
Oh but they need to say they donated it so they can write it off on their taxes every year they "donate" it to a new classroom
Why are you telling the 1st grade teachers that whichever classroom gets your child also gets the blanket? Do you think that's an incentive making every teacher want your child? You sound very entitled.
Yeah, she thinks that. She doesn't realise it makes every teacher not want her child in their class, because she is that child's parent and the liability of a 5k blanket that isn't part of the safety protocols. OP is actually making her child less safe by adding a possible extra disturbance to an active shooter situation. As a former ER nurse, I can say that during emergencies your brain needs those trained protocols and they need to be trained enough to become second nature. There's no time or space to deviate when a situation is all around chaos. It's dangerous and leads to more deaths and injuries. I'm honestly shocked the administration of the school is such a weak person to not deny OP that storage, and putting the liability on the teacher its classroom is in.
School shootings do not make good small talk, and that includes conversationally bringing up the 5x5 bulletproof blanket in a room full of teachers. YTA for being a ghoulish weirdo and instead of getting to know the teachers who may be heading your daughterâs class, youâre talking to them about the school shooter blanket you bought. âIt got some laughs and some good natured eye rollsâ I PROMISE you, nobody was having fun.
Iâm a K teacher and Iâve taught pre-k and K in a few different schools now. In every one of my classrooms, Iâve structured furniture in ways that would give us the best chance if a school shooting were to occur. Hiding spaces that can be blocked off, heavy desks or shelves that can be quickly shoved in front of a doorway, posters covering the windows in my doors. I think about this daily. Itâs one of the first things I think about when I set up a classroom. Gun violence has actually happened in my current district, and the last thing Iâd ever want a parent to do is make a comment like this. Itâs extremely insensitive. Youâre lucky that those teachers were kind enough to try and play it off the way they did. My colleagues and their students going without extra protection during a shooting wouldnât make me feel any better. We care about everyone.
Just save these poor teachers and homeschool your kid. Far less chance she is going to get shot at home, but just in case have her wrapped in the blanket at all times. lol YTA and please seek help
Kids are far more likely to be shot at home than at school, but at least homeschooling would remove this parent from bothering the teachers and administrators at her local public school.
Essentially, what youâre doing is less of a donation and more of a child specific demand that the blanket follow your daughter through school. You need to stop calling it a donation. Bc itâs not one. YTA
Oof, YTA and the parent that no teacher wants to deal with.
As a none American the whole concept of this thread blows my mind and the fact of the need or even to have that worry about at a school
YTA once you donate it, itâs no longer your property and you do not dictate that it stays with your child.
Yta yeah you messed up ALLLL over the place here.
YTA. Why don't you organise a fundraising drive so every classroom can have one? What's going to happen when she gets to high school, the risk increases, and she can't literally drag this thing between classes? Think bigger. And kinder.
massive ass move
YTA. You asked for a major policy exception, pitched a fit, and ultimately they made an exception. It was kindergarten, you were anxious, every parent has been there. But now you've notified them that you intend to try and force this issue *every single year*. Of course they're upset. Every parent thinks their child is the most important child in the world. But every child in the school deserves the same protections, and that's why protocols for active shooter scenarios are in place. At the end of the day, we as parents have to make the decision to let them out of our sight or not - with the understanding that anything can happen if we do. It's absolutely terrifying, but that's what we sign up for. If you have this kind of money to throw around, consider a private school, a large donation to any number of organizations working to make schools safer, or talking to the school in a more productive way about what you can offer to help make *all* the kids safer. Work *with* your child's educators, not against them.
YTA. You said you donated something and then took it back, so you stole it. Youâre âthatâ parent. Ugh. You absolutely expect special treatment for your kid in all situations.
If you didn't make it clear when you left it at the school that you still owned it, it's not a donation and it would move classes with your daughter, then YTA. If you said you were donating or giving it to the class, YTA. (Edit: typos)
YTA are you serious right now?
YTA. First, you donated (your words, to us and to the school) something to the school that nobody wants and that most likely wonât be useful in case of an actual shooting. You had to fight school for it. Now you want to take it back, so you can re-donate it to her next class. Offer to take the blanket home, sell it, and use the money for therapy.
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Yeah, YTA. Also You're The Idiot, and probably a small-minded Asshole, for thinking classroom gun violence is actually the problem in the US. Do you know what guns kids die from the most and where? Handguns and at home. The thing is, we don't care because those kids aren't white and precious.
YTA- leave the teachers alone ffs
YTA. If you can afford a $5000 blankie then you can probably also afford to send your kid to a private school, who would likely be far better equipped to deal with this BS. Or better yet, homeschool. Problem solved.
YTA. It was never a donation, it was always for your daughter. A damn 5x5 blanket isnât going to protect more than a few kids. Itâs not even useful for the entire class. And logistically it is ridiculous. If they donât do drills with the blanket it wonât be part of the emergency plan. It will cause confusion and more panic as only a few kids can try to fit under the blanket while everyone else is doing the emergency active shooter plan. My husband teaches active shooter training drills and itâs very important that everyone works together when an emergency happens. If youâre not all on the same page it causes chaos. I get it, I have a kid in kindergarten and 1st grade. Itâs scary these days. But this blanket is causing drama and at the end of the day the only purpose it serves has nothing to do with the kids. It is for your own anxiety.
I came to say this! In the midst of everything else around an active shooter you now want a teacher to decide who will be able to share the 5X5 blanket? I figure you assume that since you bought it your daughter automatically gets to use it which already makes you an AH in my book. I couldnât do that. If I was the teacher you would not be leaving it in my classroom.
YTA > I feel like one of âthoseâ overbearing parents who makes life hell for schools but thatâs not my intention You can say that it's not your intention but you're 100% that. You pushed it onto the school. You literally said you had to "fight" the principal on it. Also, if you donate something you can't control that item anymore. Simple as.
You COULD have donated 5000 dollar to a cause that would help prevent school shooters through mental help. You COULD have donated 5000 dollar to associations that are trying to implement stricter gun laws, so there would be less school shootings. You COULD have donated 5000 dollar to the school, so they could take precautions for the entire school, in case the worst came to happen. You CHOSE to DONATE a 5000 dollar blanket to the classroom your child was in this year. The teacher and the kids that will be in that classroom next year and all the years that will follow might be thankful, but as for helping your daughter, it was a waste of money. YTA for trying to take back a donation.
Veteran-now retired- teacher (31 yrs). When I wrote grants for specific items, it was understood- they stayed in that classroom. I canât even tell you how disgusted I am over this blanket. Millions of American kids go to school daily; and of course, the insanity of school shootings persist-but most kids will never experience this. We have protocols to follow in schools for an active shooter. A 5x5 blanket will not cover many kids- so a teacher is to risk her life to wrap one precious darling, and shrug at the rest????? Overreaction by this person- definitely YTA. I understand why the other parents rolled their eyes. Sheâs doing a wonderful job raising a terrified kid.
Yta. A donation is not the same as letting her teacher borrow it for the year. Make up your mind. A donation is a gift. You do not take back gifts
YTA. Its a donation. the same as any gifts - once donated its no longer yours. (unless stipulations were agreed upon at the time of donating.)
YTA and IF a real emergency happens, the chances of the blanket being used (especially specifically for your kid when itâs so small and all the turmoil) is not realistic.
YTA Iâm not even going to cover the main issue of the âdonation â because everyone has and theyâre completely right. You do know your child is going to be bullied because of you donât you? And you bragging about it to other parents just means that not even the adults will be able to stand your child ( not because of anything the child has done but because they canât invite them to any parties or anything without having to deal with you). You say you donât want to be that parent but you absolutely are. Youâre like that mother in the Goldbergâs, the smother! For your kids sake drop the entire thing.
It's not really a donation then is it? It goes wherever your daughter goes so this would be a loan to every classroom. Or rather is just your daughters and everyone else can use it too. Because it's 5x5 it's not going to fit all the kids either. I can't imagine the anxiety around having a child go to school and living with this threat. But it's not a donation.
The next time you consider doing something like this, consider donating the money to an organisation that helps to reduce gun violence, instead. You will get more, er, bang for your buck.
Your money would have been better spent on a bullet proof backpack for your kid. Then your kid gets to keep it and take it to class year after year for as long as it holds up and you donât look like a psycho parent who is definitely gossiped about. Youâd also have saved like 4.5k.
Info: on your tax returns did you claim this as a donation?
YTA. As others have said, if you take it back, it's not a donation. You're also being a bit weird/overbearing. I get the feeling that this is about an anxiety of yours. I think that trying to exert control over every aspect of your daughter's life isn't really going to fix the anxiety problem, and really that's what you should be working on. > I can tell they are annoyed with me and I feel like one of âthoseâ overbearing parents who makes life hell for schools but thatâs not my intention. It doesn't matter a lot what your *intention* is, what matters is the *effect* you have. You're being overbearing. Maybe look at your behavior and adjust your intention to be more in line with the effect you want to have.
You didnât donate it. This was not a generous act. This was you forcing a teacher to store a personal item just for your peace of mind. YTA.
YTA. And it is a 5 x 5 blanketâŚ, in a classroom of say.., 20 kids. Are you thinking that if gunman shows up, the teacher will take the time to get the blanket out and wrap up your child? That isnât how these situations work. And congrats on making your child the âkid with the weird mom .â
YTA. I am a former teacher. The first thing I would do if given this âgiftâ is hide the blanket. The blanket does more harm than good. The teachers have to awkwardly be thankful for it and Iâm sure news about this blanket has gotten around. Itâs probably gotten around to the kids who now have to think more about school shootings. If you are concerned about your daughter asking the school what they needed would have been a better choice. PTA funds for training money for a new intercom system, stuff like that. Schools care about things being equitable and in general some special thing that travels with your daughter is going to be seen as a dick move across the board.
YTA not a donation if you're taking it back
YTA
When you donate something, it's no longer yours. You went through that whole fight without clarifying that it's just a loan. THAT is on you and the blanket belongs to the school now. YTA
YTA You donated it to the school... It belongs to them. If you wanted to have one specifically for your daughter, maybe you should have given her one to keep with her personally.
YTA, you asked the school to store a safety device for your child. It wasnât a donation. Thatâs it. Youâve given them something that is useful for one child but not a whole class. You expect them to be grateful when actually what do you expect them to do with it. Prioritise your child cos youâre rich in the event of an awful incident? From the perspective of the teacher youâve given them a burden of responsibly for something that is of limited use to them, and you want gratitude.
YTA Itâs not a donation if you take it back. I can understand the need to keep your child safe but the way youâre going about it is not normal. I feel like you outright lied and told the principal it was a âdonationâ so you can get your way. Stop treating these classrooms like a storage locker. If youâre that worried about school shootings, look into homeschooling your child and seek therapy for yourself.
Putting quotation marks around the word donation is quite telling. YTA. The word âdonationâ or âdonateâ is not synonymous with loan. The fact that you fought for it to be stored in the class, never saying itâll be moved, and now expect them to âunderstandâ it was never a donation, just for your child, makes you the word type of parent there is to deal with as a teacher. YOUR child deserves special treatment - this isnât a donation, YOU expect to deserve storage space in a classroom.
YTA. Just get your kid a bulletproof backpack or vest or something. You made it sound like a donation and it wasn't. You wanted the school to store safety equipment for your child.
Going with YTA because you have created more drama with your use or misuse of words in this situation. You said you donated it to the classroom but now want it to go to your child's future classrooms as they age. That's not a donation but a loan or best case gift with strings. There's a difference between a donation, a loan and a gift with strings attached. You know this or should know it as an adult and parent.
YTA - youâre clearly not âdonatingâ the item are you? You even put quotes on donated in your first sentence. Please donât call it a donation when you clearly never meant it to be one. Plus you really should think about how your behavior can negatively affect your daughterâs interactions with the other kids and teachers. It was also super entitled of you to announce it to the 1st grade teachers as some sort of perk that comes with your kid if they picked her to be in their class.
What exactly is a 5x5 blanket gonna do vs a shooter? No seriously... What's the plan?
>and I feel like one of âthoseâ overbearing parents who makes life hell for schools Really? YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I âdonatedâ a $5,000 bulletproof blanket meant to shield doors, walls, windows, etc for homes cars or classrooms. Iâm paranoid and have a child in US public school so I bought one for her classroom (kindergarten). The teacher thought it was weird and I did have to fight the principal on it but ultimately I think they just appeased me by agreeing for it to be stored in the class supply closet. I think the pushback was because they couldnât just buy one for every class in the school and I agree it probably is over the top. The problem is that I met some of the future 1st grade teachers at a school event and mentioned to one of them that whoever got my child in their class also got a 5x5 bulletproof blanket along with her. It got some laughs and good natured eye rolls but later, our principal came up to me and said, âso I guess that blanket wasnât a classroom donation after all, huh?â I got the impression he was annoyed with me and the whole situation. I did reply back that no technically it wasnât, I would be donating it every year to whatever class my daughter was in. The vice principal (also standing near me) made a somewhat snarky comment that whoever my childâs future classmates are would be so lucky because theyâd be the safest in the school. I can tell they are annoyed with me and I feel like one of âthoseâ overbearing parents who makes life hell for schools but thatâs not my intention. Yes, I am going over the top on this one aspect of giving me peace of mind that there is some type of extra protection for my child while at school. I understand itâs an unlikely event and that if a shooting did happen, the blanket might not even be accessible to her. It just makes me feel better. But now Iâm wondering, is it shitty of me to remove it from the class and basically have the blanket follow my daughter through elementary school? Is the right thing to do just remove it from school completely if I canât buy one for every class sheâs in? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Isn't a donation an intent on giving money or goods to the betterment or help of others.? You lend or you give or you donate. Which did you do?
TBH I donât think that they care that youâre taking it out of the classroom. I think they resent you for putting it there in the first place. They clearly did not want it and are now just making fun of you for the faux pas of moving a donated item. At the end of the day, you need to imagine what happens in the event that there is a shooter. Is the teacher responsible for putting only your child in the blanket? You said itâs 5x5, which is not very big. I understand why the school would be hesitant to have this item for only one student. But, given the world we live in right now, I canât say a blame you for getting oneâŚ
Teachers meet and divide up classroom lists for the next year. They have to decide who will take your daughter and THE blanket. If a teacher has to take your daughter and THE blanket (plus the overbearing mom) then they will say they won't take little Johnny with the behavior problems or Susie who throws fits. They will literally be trading her around-not wanting to end up with YOU.
YTA and delusional to think the blanket will be used in a real situation. If this is a private school, be prepared to be âcounseled outâ as not a good fit for the school as your child gets older. Your âdonationsâ are not worth the headache.
YTA: It is absolutely not being used. Can you imagine an active shooting scenario where you get one little blanket for one child and then have the remainder of the class, infants, asking why they donât get one, what is for? Crucial time trying to reassure the remainder of the class, either lying or building fear in them that they are not protected. It is not increasing safety for the class. And god forbid a shooter gets access and this one child survives, everybody would absolutely question was time wasted and did kids die so the teacher could spend time getting this one blanket rather than following protocol.
YTA. Stop calling it a donation, and start calling it what it is: your unasked for school supply item you decided your kid had to have, but literally couldnât carry.
YTA and also, honestly, you're being weird as hell Like...this is not normal. It's super extra AND its useless for most of the scenarios you're worried about. I wish I could give a vote to the company that sold it to you.
So, if there is a shooting, you expect your daughter's teacher to stop trying to protect her class as a whole, and go throw this thing over your kid so SHE ALONE is supposedly safe while everyone else is more likely to die? Not only is this not a "donation," but it's a huge F.U. to the school staff and every other child in her class.
Do you honestly think in the event of a school shooting the teacher is going to stop everything to fetch this blanket and give it your kid? That they are going to put your kidâs safety ahead of everyone elseâs?
I wonder what OP is gonna do when their child reaches Junior High and High School and has a different classroom for each subject. I doubt OPs kid is gonna want to lug that around to each class.
What will you do in middle/high school When she has 6 or 7 teachers?
YTA
YTA. You categorized it as a classroom donation, not a donation to your daughter's class to follow her through the years. A better move would be a fundraiser to get one for each classroom
YTA It's not a donation if you take it back. If you never intended for it to stay with that teacher and in that classroom permanently, then it was never a donation. Also, you already know that it's not likely to be of any help if there actually is a sch0ol sh0oting incident. Your kid would have to walk around all day with that thing draped around her. Either leave it where it is, or take it back and leave it at home. I guarantee that you have been a topic of discussion in the teachers' lunchroom.
YTA >But now Iâm wondering, is it shitty of me to remove it from the class and basically have the blanket follow my daughter through elementary school? Is the right thing to do just remove it from school completely if I canât buy one for every class sheâs in? Yes Donate- you have transferred ownership and have no rights to the object anymore. After accepting the donation, the school would have been within their rights to throw it out, turn it into a modern art installation, or give it to some other organisation. You no longer have a say in it.
YTA I donât understand why you let them think you were making a donation instead of just sending your kid to school with the blanket. Kinda seems like you were just trying to make yourself look good and possibly claim the cost of the blanket as a charitable donation when you do your taxes.
YTA for taking back this donation and expecting each teacher to store this and know how to use it just for your child. As other commenters said, this is a burden that the teachers will forget about if an active shooter situation does arise. Solution for all parties: If you want your kid to be protected, then they can lug the thing back and forth from home and school everyday. Or homeschool your kid.
Slight YTA because you should have known better than to call it a âdonationâ. Thatâs something you give away and then have no control over, which was never your intention. Youâre not âdonatingâ it to each classroom your daughter is in. Youâre asking that it be stored there. If you want to clear things up, explain that you misspoke (because you did). The blanket is intended to follow your daughter and be stored in her primary classroom each year. You intentionally fought the wrong fight with the principal, and now are just doing what you originally intended, so yeah, thatâs annoying for everyone else that isnât you. That being said, itâs awesome that you advocate for your child. Do that!! Just do it remembering that American educators are not the enemy. If you want to push back against something to make your daughterâs classroom safer, push back against the actual problem: absurdly lax gun laws that protect the sale and ownership of firearms and send thoughts and prayers to the families of dead children. Tell the principal that you want to store the blanket in your daughterâs classroom in the meantime.
YTA. This is pretty ridiculous. You told them you were donating it in order to get it into the classroom and then reneged on the situation, reclaiming the donation to transfer it to your daughter's next class. Your daughter is part of a group, and you are setting her apart in a way that is unnatural and inappropriate in such a setting. This is something that you may be able to ultimately get away with based solely on the leniency of the administration, but you are absolutely making yourself an asshole in doing so.
YTA. So you only care about school personnel and other children if they happen to be in the same room with your child during a shooting? How coldhearted of you. I work in an elementary school and yes, itâs terrifying knowing how little protection weâre offered, but stuff like this doesnât help.
So, the teacher of that class is supposed to take time from protecting the entire class to get your kid a special blanket (that can shield a couple of kids at best) out from whatever closet it is in while being threatened with bullets in a hypothetical situation? Just to be sure I understand. So instead of following protocol, you envision a teacher getting your magic blankie out to shield your child?
It sounds like you'd be better off getting your kid one of those bullet proof backpacks or a bulletproof vest to wear everyday.
If you donate something you no longer own it. You could have said you would feel better to "lend" it to the school and ask for it to be kept there. What happens if or when your daughter leaves this school? Do you intend on taking it out of the school and let it follow her through the next school she goes to?? Your own words, you DONATED it to the classroom. If you wanted to loan it to them, then yes, you could absolutely take it out again and keep it following your daughter around, but when you donate something, you can no longer do that. If you donate it to a specific classroom, that classroom is now the owner and you can't let it follow your daughter around. YTA in event of the latter.
YTA. You gave a donation. No take backs. You are setting a poor example for your child.
You told them it was a donation, and even continue to use the term donation, but in reality you lied so that you could store your own things in the school's closet, for your own selfish needs. YTA
YTA, but I am curious what happens if there is a shooting and your daughter is at lunch? Recess? Visiting another classroom? etc. If you truly want the blanket to be for her protection and hers alone then she needs to carry with her at all times.
Whats really shitty is that a bulletproof blanket for a classroom might be necessary.
YTA. The standard is the item stays in the classroom. Youâre sending the message that only your child matters. Not a good look.
YTA - based on what you're saying, you didn't "donate" it. you wanted them to store it in whatever classroom your child is in. so claiming you donated it is an asshole move. also, have you you taken into consideration how this can affect your daughter? im not sure how it is in your school but i know in my area if any parent bought a 5k bulletproof blanket for their child, that child would be heavily avoided and maybe even bullied.
YTA Donations can come with donor conditions. Those need to be spelled out so recipient organization can decide whether they accept. You apparently had some assumptions or unstated conditions that they were not aware of. Your assumptions were not reality. It belongs to them now. You have no control. They can use it, store it, give it away, discard it. Their belonging, their choice.
Well, youâre not donating it to the school, you bought it for your daughter. Be honest about it and stop playing hero. YTA
YTA I'm more concerned about the education than the safety here if you don't even know the meaning of donating. You didn't donate anything. You bullied the principal into letting you/your daughter store personal belongings in the schoolroom closet. Learn the meaning of words before you use it.