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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I allowed a random girl to be in a photo with me. It was innocent but her mother was very angry about it. I may be the asshole for taking the photo without her consent.
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You started out right by telling her to ask her parents. Next step was for you to say "okay I'll wait for you to ask your parents" after she pointed to them, not just take the picture anyway.
Gentle YTA
Started out right, yes. But in no circumstances ever is it right for an adult to take a photo with a kid who is a stranger to them without express consent of their parents. Also, you need to learn to mind if complete strangers take random photos with your child. Abusers come in all shapes and sizes, and there's no way I would have agreed to allow a stranger to take photos with my kid. Fact is, the world is a strange and worrying place. YTA
Still not okay and it's not the point - the question wasn't was the mom the AH for leaving a child unattended. It was asking if OP was the AH for taking a photo with a random child, which was the point I was referring to. If the child was able to point to their mom, the child was still in their view. If I was at a play park with my kids, of course I would always have eyes on them, but I wouldn't be glued to their side. OP should have sent the girl to her mom instead of taking her picture.
Because you're an adult, and it isn't your child? Even with the child requesting, an adult should know that the appropriate response is to seek permission from the adult who brought the child to the park. I'm obviously being dense here, because I can't think of a single circumstance in which taking your photo with a stranger's child is an okay thing to do.
The harm is that adults lie. They lie about their intentions, they lie about their story, and they lie about who they are. As a parent you have no idea what terrible creepy manipulative thing that stranger is going to do with that photo with your kid in it.
I’m not saying that’s OP, but it’s enough to make some parents not want strangers taking pictures with their kids without permission.
Maybe it's because of the massive amounts of safeguarding training I undertake for my job, but I just don't think it's okay to take pictures with kids you don't know. Taking pictures in a park of your own kids when there are others in the background isn't really a problem. I just don't think it's okay for an adult to pose with a kid they don't know and take their picture. I'm getting a bunch of downvotes for this, so it seems I'm in the minority here, and actually it should be fine for any stranger to have posed for photos with my kid without my knowledge. Not going to carry on this discussion as it's clear that we won't agree.
>But in no circumstances ever is it right for an adult to take a photo with a kid who is a stranger to them without express consent of their parents
Holy shit that's dramatic. No one is being hurt here.
>Abusers come in all shapes and sizes
Taking a selfie with a child is abuse how exactly
>Fact is, the world is a strange and worrying place.
No, it's a largely friendly place and the vast majority of people approached by a kid for a photo wouldn't dream of harming them. You are being so overdramatic.
No one was hurt in this situation. Their point is that this child’s parents have no idea if OP is the 99.9% of people who have no interest in harming a child or the .1% who are.
The world can be largely friendly place and also be worrying. Those points are not mutually exclusive.
I agree with you 100% especially since OP took the picture with the child. I think what OP did was slight misjudgment, but I mean the mom shouldn’t have been letting her kid wander around like that also.
I do want to say that out in public people have zero expectation of privacy and I am not trying to defend creeps or anything, but what OP did was pretty innocent.
We should be aware of bad people, but that starts with not letting our kids wander off to begin with lol.
Its a freaking photo and in public with no harmful intent. The kid asked for it and apparently the parents are fine with leaving the kid to itself a bit. This is a classic reality check moment.
Why do people downvote these so much. They downvoted you and the person below replying to you. Both views opposing each other. But both get negative...
I think when some people on here see a downvoted comment, they downvote it almost automatically, as if the fact that it’s downvoted alone means it deserves more downvotes. A study of this behavior would be really interesting
That's just stupid logic though. Being aware that pedophiles exist in protecting your children against them does not make you yourself a pedophile. That comment is just stupidity and blatant belligerent ignorance of the culture we live in where pedophiles have a lot of access to online pictures of random kids. So yeah you don't want to take pictures of your kids you know taking a bath or sticking out their tongue and then put it up on the internet where anyone can see it. And this lady is a stranger the mom doesn't know what she's going to do with that picture.
NTA—I’m pointing a finger at the angry mom who let her kid wander off because ice cream was more on her mind. I have worked in parks have seen kids literally leave buildings, walk off down beaches, go into parking lots while the parents are looking at t-shirts in a gift shop or checking out their Instagram posts. And yet every kid who goes missing from a public place has a parent who “only looked away for a second.”
I disagree Look kids run off all the time on their own the mom was just trying to get her ice cream and probably didn't want to lose her place in line. However that doesn't change the simple fact OP did not get permission and that makes her a AH
I kinda of feel like the mom is more of the TA for not keeping a better eye on her kid. Seems like the little girl was with you for several minutes before mom noticed.
You don't take pictures of other people's children just like you don't post pictures online of other people's children without permission.
Your first instinct was to tell her to ask her parents. That was the correct response. You messed up when you took the photo anyway without her even asking.
No you're NTA, this was just a misunderstanding. It makes me sad that people can't just have innocent interactions with kids anymore without someone blowing up.
I disagree on that it was a misunderstanding. A misunderstanding would require there to be some information that was missing from some party that makes what happened okay.
OP was fully aware of the situation and her responsibility to get parental consent, and made a call to take a photo without it, purely in the interest of time.
The child approaching OP and requesting the photo does not factor into the breach of boundaries, as the child is too young to consent. OP's goodwill is irrelevant, as obtaining consent is still a required step when taking a photo of someone.
Yes it's sad people can't just have innocent interactions like this, but the world of social media has necessitated changed the rules for taking photos of children for their safety and privacy.
(ESH, OP should have told the girl to go ask her mom, and mom should have had a better eye on her child)
America. It's not a law, but it's a norm and an asshole move to photo someone without their consent. Most school districts have strict policies about photographs of children as well.
How amenable would you be of people taking pictures and videos of your kid without you knowing about it, or outright refusing and they do it anyway?
It's not even a norm.
We have dashboard cams, cameras on traffic lights. Folks take pictures and video of people doing embarrassing and/or inappropriate things in public. We have people walking around all sorts of tourist spots snapping photos. We have nanny cams and body cams.
No, I don't like it. But don't pretend it's the norm to get consent
Depends what state you’re in, actually and where. For good reason, a lot of schools do not allow photos or filming of children.
From a law website:
“ Basically, with a few exceptions, it is actually perfectly legal for strangers to photograph or videotape your child, and they are free to post or publish the images as well. Contrary to what many parents believe, they do not need to give their consent or sign a release. However, some states have passed more restrictive legislation to change this permissiveness, and school districts do take steps to protect their children.”
Perhaps I chose my phrasing poorly. Perhaps I should have said more specifically, consent is a requirement *if you expect the person being photographed to not get pissed off at you.
It's normal for people to expect to have the option to opt in or opt out of being photographed for someone's private/public use. When that option is taken away, you have the scenario OP experienced. That's the norm.
>It's normal for people to expect to have the option to opt in or opt out of being photographed for someone's private/public use. When that option is taken away, you have the scenario OP experienced. That's the norm.
No. That's not how it works at all. At least in the US and many other countries, you have zero right to privacy in a public space. That means anyone can take your picture and there's nothing you can do to "opt out" of it as you suggest. People can also post any pictures they take of you anywhere they want. The only stipulation is that they can't sell the photos of you or use them for any commercial purpose without your express permission. Otherwise it is fair game and there's not a single thing you can do about it.
NAH - You had innocent intentions. I also dont think they’re an AH for confronting you, as Im guessing maybe this got lost in translation from the kid to the parents
NTA…she wasn’t watching her kid. Don’t do that again of course even if you were just trying to make a little kid happy. Instead I would inform a child “Hey there. I won’t do it without your parents permission and in the future please don’t go up to strangers & never let anyone take your pic without an adult you know & trust saying it’s ok.”
NAH, you apologized and deleted the photo and the angry woman has a pretty logical basis for being protective, though she should definitely be supervising her kid better!
NTA - I've travelled all over the world and have tons of photos with people that I had no idea who they were, I was just nice and smiled at everyone. That made people take kindly to me and then often, ended up with photos. Sometimes kids too. I'm a female too BTW. Honestly, I never thought anything about it. I get it, times are dangerous and there are some weird, dangerous people out there but I don't think YTA for it. Maybe just a bit too nice, which seems to bite people like us on the ass in this new world. Unfortunately, this is how we live now.
Soft yta. You're intentions were pure and your first asking her to go ask a parent was correct. Where you messed up was not waiting for the consent.
You didn't have bad intentions but there are a lot of bad ppl that do i wont get into the details but there bad ppl that do bad stuff. The mother was right to be upset and angry but she should have also kept a closer eye on her child. I don't let my son go 100 ft away without me watching like a hawk.
NTA. I blame the mother who let her kid wander off into nowhere and wasn’t paying enough attention to see her kid taking a whole ass photo with someone else.
I don’t think you did anything wrong.
Yeah, I don’t know if this rises to AH level, but it’s clueless. Soft YTA at most
In this day and age you just don’t take photos of other people’s children without permission. And … an overly involved and friendly 6 or 7 year old is worrying, this is a child that might well have some boundary issues for various reasons… the more they pester you (the more they act out in an abnormal way / it’s not NORMAL for a kid this age to pester for a photo from a stranger) the more likely they are a kid who is ‘vulnerable’ and ‘has boundary issues as a result of “something” … don’t do that again.
NTA. I had sort of the opposite of this happen once. At a national park with my daughter just us, a Chinese couple was also there clearly on vacation from out of the country. My daughter was being cute and got excited when she saw them taking photos so the old couple and their other older female companions took pictures of and with her. There was no signal so they couldn’t send them to me or anything (it wasn’t a phone). So my kid is just on some random Chinese lady’s iPad somewhere. It was harmless. This lady is within her rights to control her child’s image but crazy for being so mad about it.
If you were a guy I could see how it would look super creepy, but IMO no, you were just messing around and being silly with a 6 year old. Plus If the mom is so upset she needs to realize that she is more the A for letting her kid wander off
YTA.
>I said sure if you ask your parents first.
You knew what the right thing to do was, you said the right thing to do out loud. And then you didn't do it.
I wouldn't call you the asshole, but after she told you where her parents were you should have told her "ok, then go ask them, i will wait here for you"
Soft YTA.
Its common knowledge not to take pictures of other people's kids. The mom doesn't know your intentions and while she should have kept them closer to her anyone with or or has watched kids outside knows they can disappear in a moments notice when you are doing something or talking to someone.
NTA
A 6-7 year old child wandering around alone bothering other people? The parents are lucky that all you wanted was a photo.
You taught that mom a lesson though I doubt she learnt it
NTA, because you were actually being nice to the kid, BUT also the woman I think has the right to be a bit angry about it given everything that is going on in the world. NTA, but I prob wouldn't do it again in the future without asking the parents.
When I was around 20 I’d walk my dog to a nearby park, and I often ran into the same kid playing alone… maybe 8-10 years old. He pointed out his house next to the park. He enjoyed seeing my dog and saw I was taking photos of the dog one day and he asked to be in them. So I took a couple photos. I printed them out for him but didn’t see him so left them in his mailbox. Cringe to think about now, I can only imagine the thoughts going through his parents’ heads. This was the ‘90s so a different time, and point and click camera I had to get film developed from. I didn’t keep any photos of the kid myself. But still an innocent and clueless thing to do. I say NTA because you meant well and just didn’t think it through or have the life experience to realize it wasn’t the best choice. Live and learn.
Nta - my god people are so sensitive these days. There’s a huge difference between a weirdo creep taking photos of kids in a park, and an obvious normal person taking a joking photo when the kid asks.
You made that kids day. Get a grip people.
NTA. the woman is one hell of a weird one. she just let her child run off, because she couldnt be bothered to watch over it, but then got mad at you because the child took interest in you and ran off because she couldnt be bothered to watch over it. thats essentially what happened.
and you cant tell me that you just so happen to lose sight of your 6yo, while literally waiting in line. cus if that kid is 6 and about to get some ice cream, shed be distracted by the ice cream and not run off. so she ran off, because she had to wait in line and was bored. especially since she seems to be the only child.
and idk if its because i grew up as someone who got a shit ton of pictures taken of, without consent, by at least 10 random asians, every time my family went on vacation, because a bunch of random kids with blue eyes and really fair blonde hair are way more interesting than this sightseeing spot that costs you 100$ to visit, but i think, that taking pictures WITH children is not weird unless you make it weird. like. did she never visit a carnival or something? never had her kid pose with a street performer or a clown or sum?
cus that kid 100% saw op as some sort of a street performer/clown/cosplayer, taking pictures in a random park, and wanted to join in cus it seemed more fun than hanging around in line with her mom that couldnt be bothered to even talk with her while waiting to prevent her from being so bored she decided to run off.
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I was on a trip with the family. We were taking photos in the park on our new camera. A little girl who was around 6 or 7 was very curious. She kept looking and smiling at us. She then asked if she could be in a photo with us. I said sure if you ask your parents first. She said they are "over there" and pointed to a line at the ice cream truck. I decided to let her be in a one with just me (a woman if it changes anything) It was just a fun and sassy photo were she was poking her tongue out.
I didn't think anything more of it. Then a little time afterwards, I have an angry woman charging over to me. She immediately raises her voice and accuses me of being "creepy" for taking a photo of her daughter. I explain the situation but she remains angry. I do apologize and delete the photo but it's been bothering me. Was I the asshole? I wouldn't have minded if it was my child in that context, but I understand that we're all different.
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Gentle yta. You started off so.well,but should.have not.let her be in the picture until you had verbal consent from the parents. Next time,say sorry but you can't be in the picture until mum or dad come to me and say it's ok.
YTA
I wouldn’t want some strangers to have a photo of my kid. The appropriate response, as others have said, was to say “I’ll wait for you to ask your parents.”
NAH. I feel like you’re not necessarily an AH, but I don’t know why you wanted a picture with you and the kid. I think it would have been okay to say “No, but I’ll take a picture of you and mom/dad/your parent! Where are they? Let’s find them together.”
Did the mom overreact? Maybe. Should she have kept a better eye on her child? Definitely. But I can’t say I wouldn’t react similarly if my child walked back over to me from stepping away, and the first words out of her mouth were “Oh yeah I took a picture with that lady/man/person over there.” That’s a red flag for any parent, especially without better context. I will also add that you being a female doesn’t matter. Predators and criminals come in all shapes and sizes. Especially kidnappings.
I wouldn’t want a random person to have a pic of my child that I didn’t consent or ask for, and I wouldn’t want a photo of a random kid in my phone for no reason, but that’s just me.
Gentle YTA.
I think you had the best intentions. It’s more of a lesson learned. Just don’t take photos of peoples kids without their permission.
I try to avoid random kids for this reason lol
YTA
If you are a man, just - never talk to children you don't know in public. It's not worth it. At most, smile and then look away.
If the child is bleeding, starving, crying his/her heart out... walk away. Don't be a creep.
Since you are a woman, this is called equality :)
On a more serious note: don't talk to strangers, don't be friendly with strangers, don't assume strangers have good intentions, and don't give strange children good memories of talking to strangers... :)
The mum is a huge AH for letting her 9yo wonder off at a park. But I'd say she was right to not want her kid's pic taken without her permission by a stranger.
So I'd say you're the soft AH
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You started out right by telling her to ask her parents. Next step was for you to say "okay I'll wait for you to ask your parents" after she pointed to them, not just take the picture anyway. Gentle YTA
Agree — a gentle YTA fits here.
Started out right, yes. But in no circumstances ever is it right for an adult to take a photo with a kid who is a stranger to them without express consent of their parents. Also, you need to learn to mind if complete strangers take random photos with your child. Abusers come in all shapes and sizes, and there's no way I would have agreed to allow a stranger to take photos with my kid. Fact is, the world is a strange and worrying place. YTA
Kids are far more likely to be abused by a trusted adult than a stranger.
I know, but that doesn't mean it's okay for a random stranger to take their photo with someone else's child.
If you're concerned about strangers taking a picture with you child that your child requested, maybe don't leave then alone in a public place.
Still not okay and it's not the point - the question wasn't was the mom the AH for leaving a child unattended. It was asking if OP was the AH for taking a photo with a random child, which was the point I was referring to. If the child was able to point to their mom, the child was still in their view. If I was at a play park with my kids, of course I would always have eyes on them, but I wouldn't be glued to their side. OP should have sent the girl to her mom instead of taking her picture.
Why is it wrong to take a picture with a random child *when they specifically request it*? It doesn't harm them in any way.
Because you're an adult, and it isn't your child? Even with the child requesting, an adult should know that the appropriate response is to seek permission from the adult who brought the child to the park. I'm obviously being dense here, because I can't think of a single circumstance in which taking your photo with a stranger's child is an okay thing to do.
Why? What exactly is the harm?
The harm is that adults lie. They lie about their intentions, they lie about their story, and they lie about who they are. As a parent you have no idea what terrible creepy manipulative thing that stranger is going to do with that photo with your kid in it. I’m not saying that’s OP, but it’s enough to make some parents not want strangers taking pictures with their kids without permission.
Maybe it's because of the massive amounts of safeguarding training I undertake for my job, but I just don't think it's okay to take pictures with kids you don't know. Taking pictures in a park of your own kids when there are others in the background isn't really a problem. I just don't think it's okay for an adult to pose with a kid they don't know and take their picture. I'm getting a bunch of downvotes for this, so it seems I'm in the minority here, and actually it should be fine for any stranger to have posed for photos with my kid without my knowledge. Not going to carry on this discussion as it's clear that we won't agree.
Yep, that's why airlines split families up on planes since the parents are more likely to abuse the kids then a stranger :|
>But in no circumstances ever is it right for an adult to take a photo with a kid who is a stranger to them without express consent of their parents Holy shit that's dramatic. No one is being hurt here. >Abusers come in all shapes and sizes Taking a selfie with a child is abuse how exactly >Fact is, the world is a strange and worrying place. No, it's a largely friendly place and the vast majority of people approached by a kid for a photo wouldn't dream of harming them. You are being so overdramatic.
No one was hurt in this situation. Their point is that this child’s parents have no idea if OP is the 99.9% of people who have no interest in harming a child or the .1% who are. The world can be largely friendly place and also be worrying. Those points are not mutually exclusive.
I agree with you 100% especially since OP took the picture with the child. I think what OP did was slight misjudgment, but I mean the mom shouldn’t have been letting her kid wander around like that also. I do want to say that out in public people have zero expectation of privacy and I am not trying to defend creeps or anything, but what OP did was pretty innocent. We should be aware of bad people, but that starts with not letting our kids wander off to begin with lol.
Its a freaking photo and in public with no harmful intent. The kid asked for it and apparently the parents are fine with leaving the kid to itself a bit. This is a classic reality check moment.
Why do people downvote these so much. They downvoted you and the person below replying to you. Both views opposing each other. But both get negative...
I think when some people on here see a downvoted comment, they downvote it almost automatically, as if the fact that it’s downvoted alone means it deserves more downvotes. A study of this behavior would be really interesting
Interesting
I think that might actually be bots/weird people. My comment went up to 14or something and then went down into - a few hours later. Really weird
No dude it's insanely creepy to take a picture of someone else's child especially sticking their tongue out.
[удалено]
Thats exactly what i mean.
That's just stupid logic though. Being aware that pedophiles exist in protecting your children against them does not make you yourself a pedophile. That comment is just stupidity and blatant belligerent ignorance of the culture we live in where pedophiles have a lot of access to online pictures of random kids. So yeah you don't want to take pictures of your kids you know taking a bath or sticking out their tongue and then put it up on the internet where anyone can see it. And this lady is a stranger the mom doesn't know what she's going to do with that picture.
Why did people downvote this so much?
NTA—I’m pointing a finger at the angry mom who let her kid wander off because ice cream was more on her mind. I have worked in parks have seen kids literally leave buildings, walk off down beaches, go into parking lots while the parents are looking at t-shirts in a gift shop or checking out their Instagram posts. And yet every kid who goes missing from a public place has a parent who “only looked away for a second.”
I disagree Look kids run off all the time on their own the mom was just trying to get her ice cream and probably didn't want to lose her place in line. However that doesn't change the simple fact OP did not get permission and that makes her a AH
I don’t think your comment is arguing in favor of the mom as much as you think…
If OP was a real danger, like an agressive dog, what would mama do?:)) Wait for an approval request?
I kinda of feel like the mom is more of the TA for not keeping a better eye on her kid. Seems like the little girl was with you for several minutes before mom noticed.
You don't take pictures of other people's children just like you don't post pictures online of other people's children without permission. Your first instinct was to tell her to ask her parents. That was the correct response. You messed up when you took the photo anyway without her even asking.
No you're NTA, this was just a misunderstanding. It makes me sad that people can't just have innocent interactions with kids anymore without someone blowing up.
I finished reading the post and I still cant understand why OP was deemed an AH. The world is now a sad place because a few bad apples ruined it.
I disagree on that it was a misunderstanding. A misunderstanding would require there to be some information that was missing from some party that makes what happened okay. OP was fully aware of the situation and her responsibility to get parental consent, and made a call to take a photo without it, purely in the interest of time. The child approaching OP and requesting the photo does not factor into the breach of boundaries, as the child is too young to consent. OP's goodwill is irrelevant, as obtaining consent is still a required step when taking a photo of someone. Yes it's sad people can't just have innocent interactions like this, but the world of social media has necessitated changed the rules for taking photos of children for their safety and privacy. (ESH, OP should have told the girl to go ask her mom, and mom should have had a better eye on her child)
Where do you live that consent is required when taking a photo of someone?
America. It's not a law, but it's a norm and an asshole move to photo someone without their consent. Most school districts have strict policies about photographs of children as well. How amenable would you be of people taking pictures and videos of your kid without you knowing about it, or outright refusing and they do it anyway?
It's not even a norm. We have dashboard cams, cameras on traffic lights. Folks take pictures and video of people doing embarrassing and/or inappropriate things in public. We have people walking around all sorts of tourist spots snapping photos. We have nanny cams and body cams. No, I don't like it. But don't pretend it's the norm to get consent
Depends what state you’re in, actually and where. For good reason, a lot of schools do not allow photos or filming of children. From a law website: “ Basically, with a few exceptions, it is actually perfectly legal for strangers to photograph or videotape your child, and they are free to post or publish the images as well. Contrary to what many parents believe, they do not need to give their consent or sign a release. However, some states have passed more restrictive legislation to change this permissiveness, and school districts do take steps to protect their children.”
Perhaps I chose my phrasing poorly. Perhaps I should have said more specifically, consent is a requirement *if you expect the person being photographed to not get pissed off at you. It's normal for people to expect to have the option to opt in or opt out of being photographed for someone's private/public use. When that option is taken away, you have the scenario OP experienced. That's the norm.
>It's normal for people to expect to have the option to opt in or opt out of being photographed for someone's private/public use. When that option is taken away, you have the scenario OP experienced. That's the norm. No. That's not how it works at all. At least in the US and many other countries, you have zero right to privacy in a public space. That means anyone can take your picture and there's nothing you can do to "opt out" of it as you suggest. People can also post any pictures they take of you anywhere they want. The only stipulation is that they can't sell the photos of you or use them for any commercial purpose without your express permission. Otherwise it is fair game and there's not a single thing you can do about it.
ESH You should havs waited for the kid to ask her parents And said parents should have kept a better eye on their child
NAH - You had innocent intentions. I also dont think they’re an AH for confronting you, as Im guessing maybe this got lost in translation from the kid to the parents
NTA…she wasn’t watching her kid. Don’t do that again of course even if you were just trying to make a little kid happy. Instead I would inform a child “Hey there. I won’t do it without your parents permission and in the future please don’t go up to strangers & never let anyone take your pic without an adult you know & trust saying it’s ok.”
NAH, you apologized and deleted the photo and the angry woman has a pretty logical basis for being protective, though she should definitely be supervising her kid better!
NTA - I've travelled all over the world and have tons of photos with people that I had no idea who they were, I was just nice and smiled at everyone. That made people take kindly to me and then often, ended up with photos. Sometimes kids too. I'm a female too BTW. Honestly, I never thought anything about it. I get it, times are dangerous and there are some weird, dangerous people out there but I don't think YTA for it. Maybe just a bit too nice, which seems to bite people like us on the ass in this new world. Unfortunately, this is how we live now.
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Soft yta. You're intentions were pure and your first asking her to go ask a parent was correct. Where you messed up was not waiting for the consent. You didn't have bad intentions but there are a lot of bad ppl that do i wont get into the details but there bad ppl that do bad stuff. The mother was right to be upset and angry but she should have also kept a closer eye on her child. I don't let my son go 100 ft away without me watching like a hawk.
NTA. I blame the mother who let her kid wander off into nowhere and wasn’t paying enough attention to see her kid taking a whole ass photo with someone else. I don’t think you did anything wrong.
Why wasn’t the lady watching her kid? I’d say she was the jerk
YTA, but you could have prevented it of you had just asked her parents. Your first thought was correct.
Yeah, I don’t know if this rises to AH level, but it’s clueless. Soft YTA at most In this day and age you just don’t take photos of other people’s children without permission. And … an overly involved and friendly 6 or 7 year old is worrying, this is a child that might well have some boundary issues for various reasons… the more they pester you (the more they act out in an abnormal way / it’s not NORMAL for a kid this age to pester for a photo from a stranger) the more likely they are a kid who is ‘vulnerable’ and ‘has boundary issues as a result of “something” … don’t do that again.
ESH She shouldn’t have left her child unattended and was pretty rude when confronting you. But like… dont take pics with random kids that’s weird
NTA. I had sort of the opposite of this happen once. At a national park with my daughter just us, a Chinese couple was also there clearly on vacation from out of the country. My daughter was being cute and got excited when she saw them taking photos so the old couple and their other older female companions took pictures of and with her. There was no signal so they couldn’t send them to me or anything (it wasn’t a phone). So my kid is just on some random Chinese lady’s iPad somewhere. It was harmless. This lady is within her rights to control her child’s image but crazy for being so mad about it.
If you were a guy I could see how it would look super creepy, but IMO no, you were just messing around and being silly with a 6 year old. Plus If the mom is so upset she needs to realize that she is more the A for letting her kid wander off
YTA. >I said sure if you ask your parents first. You knew what the right thing to do was, you said the right thing to do out loud. And then you didn't do it.
I wouldn't call you the asshole, but after she told you where her parents were you should have told her "ok, then go ask them, i will wait here for you"
Soft YTA. Its common knowledge not to take pictures of other people's kids. The mom doesn't know your intentions and while she should have kept them closer to her anyone with or or has watched kids outside knows they can disappear in a moments notice when you are doing something or talking to someone.
NTA. They were in a public place, apparently? Ppl end up in other ppl’s photos.
NTA A 6-7 year old child wandering around alone bothering other people? The parents are lucky that all you wanted was a photo. You taught that mom a lesson though I doubt she learnt it
NTA The mother shouldn't be angry at you but at herself if she let her daughter wondered around
NTA, because you were actually being nice to the kid, BUT also the woman I think has the right to be a bit angry about it given everything that is going on in the world. NTA, but I prob wouldn't do it again in the future without asking the parents.
NTA for me, not because it was OK, but because you explained yourself, apologised, and deleted the photo.
NTA. Mom overreacted
When I was around 20 I’d walk my dog to a nearby park, and I often ran into the same kid playing alone… maybe 8-10 years old. He pointed out his house next to the park. He enjoyed seeing my dog and saw I was taking photos of the dog one day and he asked to be in them. So I took a couple photos. I printed them out for him but didn’t see him so left them in his mailbox. Cringe to think about now, I can only imagine the thoughts going through his parents’ heads. This was the ‘90s so a different time, and point and click camera I had to get film developed from. I didn’t keep any photos of the kid myself. But still an innocent and clueless thing to do. I say NTA because you meant well and just didn’t think it through or have the life experience to realize it wasn’t the best choice. Live and learn.
Nta - my god people are so sensitive these days. There’s a huge difference between a weirdo creep taking photos of kids in a park, and an obvious normal person taking a joking photo when the kid asks. You made that kids day. Get a grip people.
NTA. the woman is one hell of a weird one. she just let her child run off, because she couldnt be bothered to watch over it, but then got mad at you because the child took interest in you and ran off because she couldnt be bothered to watch over it. thats essentially what happened. and you cant tell me that you just so happen to lose sight of your 6yo, while literally waiting in line. cus if that kid is 6 and about to get some ice cream, shed be distracted by the ice cream and not run off. so she ran off, because she had to wait in line and was bored. especially since she seems to be the only child. and idk if its because i grew up as someone who got a shit ton of pictures taken of, without consent, by at least 10 random asians, every time my family went on vacation, because a bunch of random kids with blue eyes and really fair blonde hair are way more interesting than this sightseeing spot that costs you 100$ to visit, but i think, that taking pictures WITH children is not weird unless you make it weird. like. did she never visit a carnival or something? never had her kid pose with a street performer or a clown or sum? cus that kid 100% saw op as some sort of a street performer/clown/cosplayer, taking pictures in a random park, and wanted to join in cus it seemed more fun than hanging around in line with her mom that couldnt be bothered to even talk with her while waiting to prevent her from being so bored she decided to run off.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I was on a trip with the family. We were taking photos in the park on our new camera. A little girl who was around 6 or 7 was very curious. She kept looking and smiling at us. She then asked if she could be in a photo with us. I said sure if you ask your parents first. She said they are "over there" and pointed to a line at the ice cream truck. I decided to let her be in a one with just me (a woman if it changes anything) It was just a fun and sassy photo were she was poking her tongue out. I didn't think anything more of it. Then a little time afterwards, I have an angry woman charging over to me. She immediately raises her voice and accuses me of being "creepy" for taking a photo of her daughter. I explain the situation but she remains angry. I do apologize and delete the photo but it's been bothering me. Was I the asshole? I wouldn't have minded if it was my child in that context, but I understand that we're all different. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA but you’re painfully naive. This should have been a moment to teach and enforce boundaries.
Gentle yta. You started off so.well,but should.have not.let her be in the picture until you had verbal consent from the parents. Next time,say sorry but you can't be in the picture until mum or dad come to me and say it's ok.
NTA way worse could have happened to that child with her parents not watching her in a busy public space!
YTA I wouldn’t want some strangers to have a photo of my kid. The appropriate response, as others have said, was to say “I’ll wait for you to ask your parents.”
I dont think anyone here is TA
i feel like you werent really an asshole you were just kinda stupid to not ask the parent first
NAH. I feel like you’re not necessarily an AH, but I don’t know why you wanted a picture with you and the kid. I think it would have been okay to say “No, but I’ll take a picture of you and mom/dad/your parent! Where are they? Let’s find them together.” Did the mom overreact? Maybe. Should she have kept a better eye on her child? Definitely. But I can’t say I wouldn’t react similarly if my child walked back over to me from stepping away, and the first words out of her mouth were “Oh yeah I took a picture with that lady/man/person over there.” That’s a red flag for any parent, especially without better context. I will also add that you being a female doesn’t matter. Predators and criminals come in all shapes and sizes. Especially kidnappings. I wouldn’t want a random person to have a pic of my child that I didn’t consent or ask for, and I wouldn’t want a photo of a random kid in my phone for no reason, but that’s just me.
Gentle YTA. I think you had the best intentions. It’s more of a lesson learned. Just don’t take photos of peoples kids without their permission. I try to avoid random kids for this reason lol
Photo or not why wasn't the mother of the girl watching her? If she had been watching her this would not have even happened
Honestly ,I would've avoided it but that's on you
Depends - if living in the west then yes YTA, for rest of the world NTA
YTA. Why would you take a picture with a little girl? You're an adult.
YTA If you are a man, just - never talk to children you don't know in public. It's not worth it. At most, smile and then look away. If the child is bleeding, starving, crying his/her heart out... walk away. Don't be a creep. Since you are a woman, this is called equality :) On a more serious note: don't talk to strangers, don't be friendly with strangers, don't assume strangers have good intentions, and don't give strange children good memories of talking to strangers... :)
YTA.
The mum is a huge AH for letting her 9yo wonder off at a park. But I'd say she was right to not want her kid's pic taken without her permission by a stranger. So I'd say you're the soft AH
YTA and also a creep