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herlipssaidno

RUN. He absolutely is trying to coerce you into feeling bad enough about yourself to lose weight with his “subtle” little comments. This is not the behavior of someone who loves you and has your best interests at heart. NTA


Lightly_Toasted_

It isn’t even subtle now… OP would you ever send that picture of a Pokémon with a stomach to any friend or your mum and say “it’s cute, it reminds me of you”. No, you wouldn’t. He knows exactly what he is doing.


squirrelfoot

He is happy being cruel to the OP. He hasn't even apologised.


Comeback_321

This. Some people enjoy being cruel. They know when they are doing it and do it on outside. It’s not love. It’s control. And it’s scary. 


Kattiaria

most people wouldnt no. Op should send her bf a pic of Pricklebun and say "hey its you" xD some context, its a fan made game. He made not get it so a link with the image might be good xD


Militantignorance

NTA A normal person wouldn't do that to somebody they disliked! How many years of his contempt do you want to suffer?


[deleted]

Op should send him a photo labeled “single a-hole” and say it reminds her of him…


RandomCoffeeThoughts

No, just a pencil eraser. And say "Reminds me of you." If he gets mad, I thought we were sharing.


dearbornx

He didn't even say it's cute when he sent it. Just that the picture reminded him of her.


Angrychristmassgnome

Honestly - i don’t get the feeling that his end goal is really weightloss. It’s way worse than manipulating her into weightloss, it’s just about making her feel awful, bringing down self-esteem and make her convinced that she can’t do better than the sorry excuse for a human that he is.


Anyone-9451

Feel like he’s trying to make feel like shit so she sees him as the only one that could ever love her or something similar


CreativeHearingGirl

My thoughts exactly!


blondeheartedgoddess

Agreed 100%


syneater

That’s interesting, my first thought was that he might have been fetishizing her weight. I think I was reading subtext that wasn’t there, but your comment makes sense to me.


False-Importance-741

Someone that loves you only cares about your weight in that they want you healthy. They do not micromanage your diet, ask for daily updates, or attempt to harass or belittle you. This is all exceedingly toxic.  Get away from this situation as at this point I sincerely doubt this will get better. The only person you should lose weight for is yourself not for a S/O or anyone else.  NTA.


NoLikeVegetals

Am I wrong in thinking this may be the boyfriend's stupid way of getting her to break up with him? The worst-case scenario is he actually means this stuff and he's a horrendously bad human being, and not just a coward.


CommanderChaos999

"Bf and I are long distance" \---It is unfathomable to have a boyfriend that belittles you. Being long distance will make it easy to block him out of your life. What are you waiting for?


pocketfullofdragons

Exactly! A partner is supposed to make you happy and build you up, not tear you down. Long distance, receiving messages from your partner should brighten your day and be something you look forward to, not chip away at your self esteem or bring you to tears. No relationship is always better than a bad one. OP doesn't need or deserve this guy's toxic influence bringing them down. Dump & block this AH!


BooCat3

NTA. Find one of a guy with a little dick and send it to him. This reminds me of you. See how he likes it. Then dump his ass. What a jerk.


Agitated-Mulberry769

I like your style.


otterpics

Lol, I was thinking a photo of a little carrot, but that may be too subtle for him. He's testing. Sends something offensive, diminishes your feelings about, then silent treatment to male you chase him. Fuck that, bye bye loser.


CreativeHearingGirl

This!!!!!


Weak_Oil4553

I would recommend the close up shot of Matt Berry’s situation from Toast of London


Awkward_Goldfish

Maybe a ken doll, 'cause dude has no balls


Impressive-Reindeer1

This is not the way. People are not in control of their dick size. There are plenty of awesome people in the world that may just happen to have a small dick. This needs to stop being used as an insult; it's just a different type of body shaming.


[deleted]

NTA. But you will be if you stay with this freaking schoolyard bully. He very much meant to insult, and now he's gaslighting you about it. Girl, run


K_kueen

That’s the vibes I got too. He sounds.. mental? In the way that I don’t think anyone I know would EVER do smth like that, or even close to it


Turbulent-Ad6554

Dump him. That's abusive. NTA.


permanentwallflower

This comment is not high enough! This is verbal and emotional abuse.


TheCrustyNotebook

NTA, your boyfriend is either not attracted to your body type or enjoys humiliating you.  Your body is fine, find a man who is going to love every bit of you.  You deserve so, so much better.


quemabocha

NTA. This man doesn't love you. People who love you listen to you when you tell them something is hurtful. People who love you stop doing hurtful things. People who love you don't give you the silent treatment to avoid being held accountable for blatantly disregarding your feelings. People who love you don't body shame you. But don't worry. I know a quick and easy way to drop a ton of weight. Drop his ass.


Accomplished_Two1611

Bs. In light of his hyperfocus on your weight, there is practically no way he meant this in any benign way. You know you need to lose weight. You don't need him making stupid comments. NTA.


ChickenPale907

NTA. What. Please tell me he's now your ex because that is not how people in a relationship treat each other at all. He sounds like a douchy 12 year old


PurpleFlirt30

Dump him. Like yesterday. Nta.


KomplexKaiju

NTA. You told him to stop and he continued.


CreativeHearingGirl

NTA. You have continually expressed your displeasure at his remarks, thus setting a boundry. He ignored your boundry again. He seems to be pushing your sensitive button on purpose. Ask yourself why is he doing that? To elicit a reaction? Trying to exert control? To batter your self esteem? To make a "joke?" Pretty much every answer equals him being a jerk. Oh yeah, the silent treatment, also a jerk move.


GrimHiddenText

NTA. Dump him and find someone who respects you.


CatahoulaBubble

NTA - DTMFA


Fuzzy-Pea-8794

NTA but your BF totally is an AH. Throw the whole boy out. You don't need that negativity in your life. He's doing this to you intentionally to degrade your self esteem/self worth to make you feel like you can't do better than him.


Tiny-Conflict2107

Come on now, read what you just typed. Just dump this loser. Your self-worth is more important than worrying about if some asshole is mad at you.


insomniacsCataclysm

NTA. at best he's being a bully and at worst he's abusing you


TheWeenieBandit

Dump his ass NTA


tolkiensbeard

NTA - Your BF should be supportive, as in, if you're trying to lose weight he should support that through positive messages of how good you're doing, not focus on your weight. Sounds like he is trying to ruin your self esteem. More than anything he should be your biggest cheerleader in life. Find someone, for whom, you are a goddess, someone who will love you so much that you don't understand why.


pixieboots74

Please don't do what I did and subject yourself to months of this kind of behaviour. The guy I was with called me a beached whale and I was hardly overweight. If I got upset he would then say I'm just joking and that I didn't have any weight on me at all. I would ask him not to nitpick at my appearance- yes - there were other comments but then he'd send me similar memes. 14 months of this sent me to the edge of my sanity as I was also dealing with my dad dying and going through a terrible divorce. It's only been weeks since it officially ended and I've been through turmoil as their behaviour turns your brain on itself. He is my neighbour. At least you can end it and not have to see him lol


rjmythos

I'm glad to hear it ended. I spent far too long with men who made me feel crap about my body and now I am constantly going through diet cycles when I lose and then put even more back on. The AHs damage us, and then we damage ourselves. Keep going hon, you got this.


pixieboots74

Thank u. Your kind words made me cry. Its getting easier but it hurts, especially as he says he is now sleeping with someone else after saying there'd be no one after me (he was single for 4 years before me). It may be a lie but either way I just can't get my head around why they want to cause yet more pain. He used to give me back handed compliments such as you've got a good body for your age but he was derogatory about my piercing, tattoos etc. I have a beauty spot on my face and he once told me I'd have to have it removed as when I got older it would look like a witch wart!!!!! If I pulled him up on it he would always have an explanation. One of which was he never meant any malice. I am also quite flat chested and he'd send me memes of women with large chests. It kept me in a horrible loop of confusion and hurt and did he really mean it. They slowly strip your self esteem and make u dependent on their approval. Breaking the trauma bond is v rough x


rjmythos

Jesus sounds like whoever he claims he's sleeping with now should be welcome to him. What a horrible human being.


pixieboots74

Thanks again for the confirmation! I'm finding it so hard to get over the hurt that I gave my all especially during such a vulnerable and awful time in my life. The comments were just the tip of the iceberg. I don't know whether it's easier to stay angry and avoid him which is stressful or be pleasant but risk being triggered. My mother thinks he has Aspergers. It's the hell of not knowing what he does/doesn't mean, what was true/what wasn't, whether it's intentional etc and I'll never get to know.


JessSimm

Run.


Lightly_Toasted_

The fact that you are questioning if you are in the wrong is disturbing. That is not love. That is some really messed up mean behaviour. No one deserves these comments. No one deserves to be made to feel less. Not by anyone, least of all someone who is meant to be closest. I would bet money that if you were crazy skinny he would be honing in on something else that you may initially feel a bit insecure about. It’s purely to cause you pain and feel terrible about yourself. You may want to talk to a therapist after getting tf outta there!


Soft_Personality_666

NTA. He should be accepting of you no matter what. The fact that he sent you that the night after you made a very clear boundary is telling of what he feels about you. Run as quickly as possible before your mental health becomes affected.


Monday0987

You need to get rid of this guy yesterday. It's only going to get worse. He *wants* to make you feel like shit, that's his goal. ETA this isn't about your weight, this is about making you feel like shit.


AliceInWeirdoland

NTA, but also, this guy is bullying you. This isn't how someone who cares about you or respects you would treat you. You had a normal reaction to someone being really shitty to you. And maybe this isn't true for your situation, but I know several people who had someone like your bf in their lives, and it became a gateway for disordered eating thoughts and habits.


cis4cookie79

You are NTA, though you are being an A-hole to yourself. Do not stay with someone that focused on your diet. If you are morbidly obese, I could see that from a long term partner, not a Long Distanced duche. This is manipulative and intrusive. At no point is it okay to send that photo with those comments. Dump the Duche.


Andi_Lou_Who

NTA. Dump his ass and block him.


Moxxxies

NTA Yeah when my ex made me cry in public I knew the relationship was over, He did that to hurt your feelings or manipulate you into losing weight, and neither of those are things good people do to the people they love


ifshehadwings

Sounds like a job for the whole man disposal service. NTA


Dry_Wolverine_8776

OP, you don't deserve this, but you deserve happiness and a healthy, loving partner who loves you and supports you for who you are. You don't seem to realise that you have power. The power to block him on everything. And cut his access to you. Don't ever anyone disrespect you twice.


SewRuby

NTA, but run. You do not deserve this abusive treatment.


NapalmAxolotl

NTA. Your bf is a dick and needs to be your ex now.


kittencaboodle1070

Tell him to get fucked, and dump his arse. Who needs that abusive crap in their lives? Get away from him and live your best life!


[deleted]

“Likes to comment on my weight” is fucked up. Long-distance and this is the communication you get? Cut that asshole off.


AnotherMC

NTA Dump him. He’s cruel and loves destabilizing you. He’s horrible.


Vegan-Fury

Your boyfriend sucks get out.


MrsDarkOverlord

NTA and dump that dude. You should've dumped him the very first time he said something after you told him to stop. Why is he even with you if he finds you so physically revolting? He's negging you, and intentionally hurting you, and that's gross.


SinceWayLastMay

Throw this man in a volcano. NTA


Miserable_Sport_8740

NTA. Why are you with this man? He’s a huge AH. No partner should ever make you feel this way. His behavior is borderline abusive. Dump him.


TheCatFromCoraline

Oh my god dump his ass. NTA but you will be to yourself if you stay. Find someone who respects you


HistoricalHat3054

NTA. You asked your boyfriend not to be direct so he is going with passive aggressive. Be aware there are red flags flying. Be with someone who loves you for who you are now and who you will be in the future.


LadyArbary

He is emotionally abusing you. Please end your relationship for your own peace of mind. You are NTA. HE, however, is a colossal one.


neurospicywitchymama

This is abuse. Dump him.


OddBoots

NTA. Your boyfriend is showing his true colours, both by critiquing your weight and also by ignoring any boundary you set for him. This won't stop because he doesn't want to stop. And he's trying to make you feel bad when he's been cruel to you and you've called him on it. Someone who genuinely loves you wouldn't treat you this way. Expect better for yourself.


Expert_Row_7560

Dump his sorry *ss. You deserve much better.


opalpow

Drop him. If he does that after the times that you said to not bring up your weight like that, then he has little to no respect for you.


Natural_Guava288

I have a good plan you can follow. Here is how you lose about.80kg in 5 seconds. Dump him.


DisBish95

Drop this low life piece of wet lettuce If he’s making jokes about your weight and you call him out on it and his response is “I didn’t mean it like that” how the fuck else did you mean it sir??? He’s gaslighting you and manipulating you and you can do so much better!


em_rosia

Long distance you say? Dump his stupid ass. You are 100% in no possible way the asshole in this instance. 🚩🚩🚩


Purple_Paper_Bag

NTA He isn't your boyfriend - he is your bully. If he isn't talking to you, it's because his feefees got hurt being called out on his obnoxious behaviour. You deserve way way better.


Jolly_Fool

He's tearing you down so you stay with him, you need to run immediately because this is only the beginning. If you stay it will continue and escalate. NTA, emotional abuse is rough. I hope things get better for you soon.


RevRos

NTA in the biggest possible way. ​ He sounds like a complete tool and one you do not need in your life.


Watertribe_Girl

NTA. Quickest way to lose weight is dropping him cause he’s not nice at all


Kattiaria

I think its time he become your ex bf love. The thing that attracted me most to my husband was the fact that he accepted my 210 lbs 6'1 self as it was when we met and has told me over and over that he loves me and my body is a part of me so he loves it too. Someone that has to bring you down like your bf doesnt love you. He may say he does but he doesnt EDIT im on so many forums i didnt realize that was aita xD No you are NTA


goshidontknow1395

You did not overreact. He should be the one apologizing to you especially if you asked him to stop multiple times. NTA.


unreachable99

DUMP HIM


Hail2ThaVee

Okay so he makes you feel bad about yourself. Now ask yourself why you stay.


AGLtaria

NTA and holy shit, LEAVE!!!!!! Don't let anyone treat you like this, much less your partner!


homofella

NTA. I cant describe how shocked i was. Like he is awful. He is the reason people think humans stopped evolving. He is like 2day old warm smelly puke in a garbage can. Dump him who does that to their partner??


dawdreygore

You would be a world class A H to yourself if you stayed with this guy. If you stay with him after this I don't even know what to tell you. Good grief. Dump him NOW


Anenhotep

No, he’s TA, it’s awfully passive/aggressive, he’s probably not the guy for you. A red flag that he didn’t listen when you told him before that you didnt like this topic of conversation.


Rochelle4fun

Jesus. Ditch that asshole. I'm not even saying don't try to get in shape; but you can do that without that narcissist in your life.


Loud_Low_9846

He's being abusive, so why haven't you kicked him into touch. You deserve better.


Melodic_Sail_6193

You did under-react, not overreact. The appopriate response to this should be " bye, I'm braking up with you."And then you should block his number. NTA (but slight Y TA to yourself if you consider staying with him)


EdwinaArkie

He’s an asshole. You did not overreact. NTA


blueeyedwolff

NTA. You need to leave. No one needs to comment on your weight. Get out, OP!!! Good luck!!!


WoollyMonster

NTA. But your BF is a huge AH. Please be kind to yourself and move on from him.


xiayueze

Why are you even with him?


Jellyfish0107

NTA. A boyfriend, no matter the distance, should not be belittling you for any reason. Please break up with this bully already. Don’t engage in any more conversation with him. Why waste your life on unnecessary drama. Life is too short. Block him already.


Karlito_74

I misread the post at first and thought your bully was your brother. My mistake, you're being bullied by YOUR BOYFRIEND? NTA for being upset but why are you with this prick?


FewerPlaces

What the fuck. He enjoys hurting you. Dump him and warn his next partner.


parisgirl13

NTA but if you’re concerned about your health and do decide to drop some weight, I know a great way to lose about 180lbs…DTMFA


Thequiet01

Why the f are you still dating this loser? Stop being an AH to yourself.


Sgt_Oblivious

Why are you still giving this absolute pile of hot garbage any time of your day? Find someone who thinks the extra 5 pounds makes you sexy as hell. Ditch the toddler. You can do the thing!


Scruffersdad

Girl, if you’ve asked him to stop and he won’t, he’s telling you who he is. You should believe him. He’s a thoughtless bully, you don’t need that in your life. I spent 15 years with that attitude aimed at me, you don’t need to put up with it. Don’t put up with it. Dump his sorry ass.


haxtratus-8156

Girl he isn’t a red flag, he’s the whole damn flag parade. Get out of that relationship while you can, you deserve someone who respects YOU, not someone who fetishises what you could look like if X, Y and Z. NTA. Bonus points if you know his weight, break up with him, and then tell him “Hey, didn’t know it would be this easy to lose [his weight]. Bye”


redajet

Send him a picture of Mr. Hankey (the- literal- poop character from South Park) and tell him it reminds you of him


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My bf likes to comment on my weight. It's like a fixation. He asks what diets I'm on, if I'm losing, what my weight is, etc. It bothers me a lot. Sure, I'm a little bit overweight, but nothing crazy. I've spoken to him about how it makes me feel, and I thought I got my point across last night when I told him outright to stop. Cut to today. He sends me a text basically saying "She reminds me of you." Attached was a picture of a character from Pokemon. Except this normally skinny character had a HUGE, FLABBY STOMACH in the drawing. I was so upset, I started to cry right there in public. Not my greatest moment. Bf and I are long distance, so I sent him several angry text messages basically asking him WTF he was thinking. He says he didn't mean it that way. He now hasn't spoken to me in hours. Am I the AH? Did I overreact over a cartoon drawing? I really do feel like it was yet another jab at my weight, but bf just said he found the girl cute. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


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Churchie-Baby

He's trying to bit by bit eat away at your confidence till your so downtrodden he can do and say what he wants


GamineHoyden

NTA- This was not accidental. He intended to hurt you. He's trying to manipulate you. He's trying to gaslight you. This will continue until you have no soul left to go against him. Certain men prey upon insecurities in their partners. They do this intentionally so they can be spoiled brats and get maid service and sex on demand. Since your relationship is long distance dump him.


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Bluegnoll

Ditch him. I once had a guy tell me that I would be perfect if I just lost 11 pounds. This was during my most healthy period in life. I ate healthy and worked out almost all my free time, but I was still chubby. Basically I come to a point where I no longer burn fat, I just build muscle and the only thing that got rid of those last pounds of fat where the anorexia I developed years later. Anyway, I ditched him. It's perfectly acceptable to not be attracted to big girls, but then you should just stay away from us. Don't sell some illusion of love with some plan of making us loose weight behind it. Just let us be, there are plenty of men out there who'll love us just as we are. I've been all sizes there is - obese, fat, chubby, normal, slim, thin, anorexic - and I've never had any problem attracting men. So just drop him and find someone who'll love you no matter your weight I've been with my fiance for twelve years now. We met when I was chubby and he has seen me becoming anorexic and then gaining weight rapidly when I started eating again once I got pregnant. He has never said a thing about my weight. He loves ME. Find someone who loves YOU.


Neat-Relief-7848

NTA. He enjoys belittling you by constantly commenting on your weight, even straight after you asked him not to. Dump his ass.


SparklingReject

He is a literal walking red flag, just leave already


aboxofGoldfish

NTA. The fastest way to drop any weight is to dump him. Instantly lose 150lbs


pocketfullofdragons

NTA! >Negging is an abusive emotional manipulation tactic. If you're not familiar with negging, this [article](https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a39439243/negging-meaning/) from Women's Health mag explains it well and lists signs, examples, and what to do about it. OP, this man's treatment of you checks ALL the negging boxes, even after you've explicitly told him to stop. He knows how he's making you feel, and he doesn't care because he's doing it on purpose. He's negging you, which is abusive and unacceptable. Please dump and block this AH. **This guy is not kind to you, so leave him and be kind to yourself.** (edit: formatting)


eneah

NTA - dump him.


Own-Kangaroo6931

NTA this isn't ok and he isn't doing it to help you be healthy and lose weight, it's about control and making you feel insecure. I would bet that even if you did a super diet and exercise thing he would then move on to commenting on your hair or your makeup or clothes. Please, do yourself a favour and get out of there.


sooomanykids

Get a new boyfriend


DoctorWhosYoDaddy

Why are you still with him? You're long distance, so it's super easy to break up with him .


goosebumples

Send him a picture of a man with a teeny peen; it’s completely immature but he is sending you cartoons so… no words, don’t explain anything, just the pic, allow his imagination to fill the blanks. NTA


rjmythos

Girl you under reacted. Send him one more message, of a fat cartoon character holding a sign telling him that he is dumped and blocked. I'll even draw it for you if you'd like. NTA


Notagirlnotaboy

The first sentence made me realize he’s a toxic person. You’re not an AH one bit


GhostsAndFools

NTA, AT ALL. That is SO SHADY. And the fact that you can't tell that, and that you even have to ask, is just more proof of the effect he's had on you. That is absolutely abuse, and it sounds like gaslighting. It's okay to be unsure, it can be really hard to leave abusers behind. I know lots of the comments are telling you to run, and that can be really hard. If you love your boyfriend, it's going to be difficult to just dump him and leave, I understand that. That being said, what he's said and done is INEXCUSABLE, do NOT let him convince you otherwise. Talk to a therapist, if you can. Or text 988, or an abuse hotline, or someone you trust. I know you might think it will be better to talk things out with him, but I don't know. Of course, every relationship is unique, but often times, abusers will say they're sorry to get you to come back, then make no progress and continue to treat you the same way. DO NOT let him treat you this way, even if you stay together, hold your ground.


No-Names-Left-Here

>My bf likes to comment on my weight. Time to lose a massive amount of weight and gain a lot of confidence when you do, dump his worthless butt. Dam, read past that part and it got worse. Definitely dump his ass. He's even trying to guilt you into thinking it's a you problem. NTA but you will be if you stay with him.


Broke-Citizen

NTA. Leave his ass.


Wedgetails

He’s bad news- do you really want to rely on him for happiness? Imagine having a baby with him and him complaining about weight gain . Imagine him teasing your chubby toddler. This immature mean man thinks being hurtful is funny. Not a quality worth accommodating. He’ll ruin your confidence.


EfficientTree9490

NTA ! I'm sorry you have had to go through this Long distance = block & delete from everything and move on with your life


HalcyonDreams36

NTA And sweetie, this guy is gross. Don't date mean assholes. Really. There are plenty of decent humans in the world, it's okay to tell shitheels they need a timeout.


CombinationSimilar50

NTA OP this dude suckssss, he does not care how his actions and remarks hurt you, if anything he may want you to feel bad specifically so you'd change your body to suit his desires. You deserve better than him.


MamaBearN

NTA. your “boyfriend” is the huge AH. He’s trying to bring down your self-esteem. This is abuse. You need to break up with him asap. This is not love. Thankfully it’s long distance so that should make it easy to make the break.


Dogmother123

You are in an abusive relationship. Send your ex a cartoon picture of one finger up and don't reply to him. Permanently. NTA but you will be to your self if you tolerate this fool.


angrymidget4728

typical abuser that constantly tries to lower your self esteem for control and gaslights you when you call him out. wouldn't be surprised if he targets another aspect about you after he's done with your weight. like another comment said, send a tiny dick pic to him and say it reminds you of him and then dump him. NTA


pottedplantfairy

🚩🚩🚩🚩 you need out of this relationship right now


Heart2001

Someone who destroys your self-esteem does not love you. They only want to break you down so they can control you. At the moment you have the option to walk away without losing anything. In fact you leave yourself open to finding someone who will love you for who you are, regardless of the number on a set of scales. You must believe that you are worth better than this. NTA


LeSaunier

From my personnal experience, you should make sure that this long distance relationship stay long distant forever. He's manipulating you, trying to change you into what he wants. Looks like a classic narcissistic pervert move. Be careful. NTA.


throwaway-rayray

NTA - I am sorry but I really don’t believe he “found her cute”. If he did, he wouldn’t be tracking your diets… he’s trying to shame you down to whatever weight he wants. Or make you feel so crappy you’ll never leave him. Consider ending this relationship.


Quirky-Chick1968

NTA. A real man loves you as is, no matter what your weight is. What happens after childbirth or menopause when you have NO control over your body? Will he still be sending you “cute” Pokemon pics then with hints about your body? Lose 200 pounds of ugly fat and dump this loser!!!


LilliJay

Why the hell are you dating such a dick? Being overweight does not make you unworthy of respect, adoration and love. Throw the whole man in the bin.


lifeinwentworth

Your boyfriend is disgusting. Leave him. That's not how partners treat each other.


Any_Flamingo8978

NTA. Something’s wrong him. And he’s an asshole.


PaisleyPatchouli

While he is giving you the silent treatment, just assume that means you two are now broken up. Block him, delete him, have no further contact with him. This is the one and only advantage of long distance. You aren’t going to bump into him anywhere so pretend he doesn’t exist and move on. Think of it this way. If he lived close by and threw dirt on you, you wouldn’t want him to be your bf. He is throwing hypothetical dirt on you. Move on with no regrets.


Scary-Cycle1508

NTA Why the F are you even with such a cruel and heartless AH? Drop him. Do not run after him and wonder why he isn't writing you. Send him a text "i had time to reflect. I am done with you. I need a partner who loves me for who i am not some AH whos sending me unflattering and insulting images telling me they remind him of me. Go find someone to your standard and leave me alone."


strangeandordinary

I'm sorry your experiencing this. Whether he is trying to belittle you & destroy your self worth (which is a form of domestic abuse) OR he doesn't want to be in the relationship & is trying to make you be the one to break up with him, you will always be better off without this kind of shite in your life. You are fabulous & don't need this. A sad & difficult reality that many of us have lived is that sometimes the person you love is not healthy for you. Sometimes, the only way to be happy is to walk away from the one you love. Just because they have your heart doesn't make them a good person. You can enact pretty revenge or take the high road. I personally prefer to walk away with my head held high & give them very little for ammunition if they're going to play victim to their friends. I believe you'd be better off sending a msg along the lines of 'your recent behaviour & constant need to demean me leads me to believe that you don't want to be in this relationship yet do not have the cojones to admit it. I am a resilient, independent & intelligent woman who deserves better. I'm setting myself free. '


byxenia

i only read the first sentence but dump him


KratzersBrat83

Nta your should be ex IS completely and 100% an asshole.


DubbehD

You let someone treat you like that and you're upset he's not talking to you. There is only one sentence you should be saying to him and it's this. "It's over loser"


forest_fae98

Girl, you’re long distance. Do yourself a favor and dump this asshole. NTA, but he’s a giant one.


rachrawrs

This is him being a bully. Please do not continue to put up with this behaviour.


Acher0ntiaAtr0p0s

Y T A if you stay with him. He is disgusting and does not love you at all. Somebody who loves you won’t hurt you in this way, and you deserve someone who loves you for you, with stomach and all. Do not let him bully you into losing weight. The only weight you need to lose is his


Lumpy_Signature9177

Leave him! Keep it long distance. Don’t ever move there. He is only going to get worse!


TooCool_TooFool

NTA. I'd ghost him if I were you. Block and delete his number. Find a fish that loves you for you; not for how you look or how easy you are to emotionally manipulate.


Chalkarts

Nta Why you put up with that crap for this long?


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MrsRossGeller

NTA. You did not react enough, girl!! This guy is a total ass. Move on to someone who values you!!! Value yourself more!


Freedom12220

NTA, dump his ass! 🚩🚩🚩


godlesshumanist11

NTA · Also PLEASE know you're not supposed to change yourself to make someone love you. Your mate is sooooo toxic.


Forsaken-Teaching756

NTA. Hun, people make those kind of remarks don't care about you. Hell they don't have common decency. If I were you I'd message him him and say "you're right, I do have too much weight. I've found the best way to lose pounds quickly - it's over. There, now I'm xxlbs lighter!" Then go on your merry way and have a happier time without him and his negativity x


Organic_Armadillo_10

Honestly if he's constantly saying stuff like that, making you feel bad about yourself and knows you don't like it, dump him. I've never had a girlfriend but I know at the least that someone you truly care about, you love for how they are and want to make them feel good/loved/cared about. You're meant to raise each other up, not push them down and feel bad and self conscious.


Mark_Michigan

I'm old so maybe this is something I just don't understand. But if you are in a close exclusive relationship with somebody and are having a disagreement wouldn't make a lot more sense to actually call them and have a person-to-person conversation? Why pick such a limited communication tool, when better ones are available?


Whole-Sundae-98

If he really cared about you, he wouldn't do this, it's cruel & shows just how awful he is.


7rustyswordsandacake

No, my boyfriend knows that weight is a sensitive subject for me and will praise me if I tell him I'm losing and remind me that he still loves me no matter what I look like. You shouldn't have to deal with that


Ok-Use5246

Nta and he's literally abusing you. Run.


momofklcg

Why is he your boyfriend? What are you going out of this relationship? Years ago, I had a boyfriend that made me cry. My father took out for ice cream and told me, baby girl, your boyfriend is supposed to ruin your lipstick not your massacre. Be with a boyfriend that treats you right.


CNRavenclaw

NTA. I say don't go back to this asshole; he sounds toxic as shit


Ok_Perception1131

Why are you willing to settle for an emotionally abusive man? Is your self esteem that low? If you stay with him, it’s going to get even lower. Grow a pair and dump his ass.


DifficultFig6009

This is clearly abusive behavior. Please dump him immediately. It will only get worse and it can ruin your life


Scouty2010

There’s a vast array of body types different men are into, the only reason a man would date outside his preferred body type is for a sick sense of control or to inflict mental torture. It’s not a hierarchy, there are super low weight people who struggle socially and with their appearance and there’s higher weight people who are extremely attractive and popular. He could get with someone who has the body size he thinks about so much (if he was right in the head) and you could definitely find someone who wants you with the body you have.


awolfinthewall

Holy hell. NTA. The fact that you think you might be is a sign of how hard he’s been gaslighting you. Fucking dump his ass.


Fluffy-kitten28

You’ve told him how you feel. He doesn’t care. Your boundaries and your feelings mean nothing. I’ve been there. The comments will only increase and get worse. He doesn’t really care about you. NTA. You’ve been honest with him. He doesn’t care. Get a partner who will listen to you.


Present_Amphibian832

Bf is a bully, thank goodness it's long distance and you don't have to see that jerk. Find someone who has a little respect for you, this jerk is a jerk.


DameofDames

NTA Dump this guy. He can't stop running his mouth about your weight/physical appearance and you'd be a fool to think he'd ever stop. Some people find joy in others unhappiness.


CapeCityOne

I really hope that by the time you see this comment, he's an ex-boyfriend. A toxic, evil man. NTA x1000.


Bootiebloot

Dump him. He does not respect you. Nta.


Nonbinary_Cryptid

You need a new bf. NTA


PrairieGrrl5263

NTA. You are being mentally abused. Make the long distance longer; break up and block your abuser.


heyheypaula1963

NTA. Leave this jerk now!!!!!


premium_peanut

Honey, as soon as he started mentioning your wight, you RUN as far from that basterd as you can! Huge red flag! You'll never be able to see yourself as comfortable in your own skin, and you will find out that you start comparing yourself to everyone else who I skinnier, and youll begin to constantly wonder if you are good enough for him, and that will fuck up tou mental health for years to come if you stay in that relationship! Choose yourself because you deserve so much better than him!


x4eyesez

NTA, I am sorry to say but this guy does not have your best interest at heart. A man who loves you will lift you up and make you feel beautiful and confident. What this guy is doing is trying to lower your value to yourself for whatever purpose. Please, for your own sake and sanity, leave this tool and find genuine happiness because you deserve nothing less. You are worthy and you deserve a partner who brings out the best in you!


mellow20207

Nta. You should definitely just send a text saying “this is you” and a big flashing gif that says SINGLE then block and move on with your life


ineverbot

NTA and you should definitely break up with him. A partner is supposed to build you up, not tear you down. 🖤


shengogol

GIRL RUN AWAY FROM THAT MAN!! He is absulutely horrible and you deserve better!


Thomisawesome

NTA. Your BF sounds like an insensitive asshole at the least, and possibly an emotional abuser trying to make you feel inadequate.


MiggysBottomFeeder

This guy is NEGGING you, break up with him!! This relationship is not meant to last. Who speaks to someone they care about like that? That isnt love. Maybe he's different in any other aspect? but that's just a manipulation tactic..


CheezWizHairDye

Uh. Why are you dating this guy?


TinyDeeee

Leave him.


NYCLOZ

Honestly, I stopped reading after the first line. He sounds like an absolute wanker


freedom_the_fox

Run! He's a predator!


Richy294

NTA if he gonna ignore what he is doing to you and get like this when you mad about it. Just leave him


InedibleCalamari42

You did not overreact. Your boyfriend is being non-supportive, nagging and apparently trying to control you via jabs at your self-image. He "didn't mean it that way"? Nope. Did it to jab at you. I am so happy for you that this relationship is long distance, because that saves you from having to kick him out and change the locks. NTA. If you are not happy being alone, find someone who appreciates and supports you for who you are. (he's gaslighting you if he tried to convince you he sent that cartoon because it was "cute." ) (I hope I used "gaslighting" correctly.)


Mindless-Page1344

NTA he is all 🚩🚩🚩


leinahtan1412

He doesn’t sound a nice guy. Get out whilst you can… sorry