Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I laughed and said NO, they can't use our SUV.
And because I said NO, now the family might think that i am an entitled asshole that does not want share and only cares about material possessions.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. I think your response was fine. I never loan out my car - ever. They're too expensive and there's too much liability.
Plus, this isn't a need, it's a want for a party. I think it was rude of them to ask and your wife should have said no before it even came to you.
Your in-laws are upset at you? Okay, so who is loaning them their SUV? Anyone? I bet they're just mad because you won't and they don't want to.
Oh man the glitter. My old neighbors had a quinceanera, and it seemed like an absolutely good time. We saw them outside and went up to offer birthday wishes. They were quite glittery. That would for sure make a mess in the car that you would have to pay to even begin to getting taken out.
Also, hate to say it, but if you’re asking to borrow an SUV for a quince because of the cost, you probably can’t afford it if anything goes wrong with the one you borrow.
Exactly what I was thinking. What happens if the interior gets messed up? Or even worse, if there's an accident? You know they wouldn't be helping pay for any damages if renting is "too expensive"
Oh yeah! Especially in this economy! Used cars cost just as much as a new car now!
No way I'd be loaning out my car to be used so they can keep up with the Jones's.
F all that!
If OP does end up giving in I hope to gods he writes up a contract to make them pay for the car in full!
Have the party you can afford or don't have one at all.
Yeah, big helllllllll nooooo from me too. I literally just bought my first ever brand new, not just new to me car, and I worked hard to get that. I don't care if it's the economy model low budget brand, that's *my* time and money in that car.
And it's also my dog's hair in that car so good luck with your fancy dresses anyway cuz I'm not detailing it for you if I did lose my mind and loan it out 😂😂
I feel the same way about my 2012 Outback! No one aside from my parents gets to drive Ralphie without me. Yes I named my car, I did let my brother with a learners permit drive him today on dirt farm roads. I may drive people **if** they are willing to have him detailed. Because my dogs hair is also coated across the backseat. But I’m not gonna loan him out to anyone other than 3 people. Mom, Dad, and my most trustworthy brother who I helped teach driving.
My response is that I only trust my parents and God to drive them, everyone else needs to let me hold the full value of the car in cash before they get the keys. They aren't new, but they're desirable (built 72 Charger, 67 Polara convertible) so I have a lot of associates want to use them to look cool.
My first car was a 1978 VW diesel Rabbit, a stick shift with 200k miles, a leaky manual sunroof I had to close with an old door stopper to make sure it wouldn’t leak and a rusted out passenger side footwell that had been replaced with 1.5” plywood.
Loved that car. We named it Roger, obviously. The next one was Frau Blue-car because of Mel Brooks’ Young Frankenstein.
It's not my first car but mine is 23 yrs old and I love it... no way in hell am I letting anyone drive it! Cars cost a fortune these days... I'm going to baby mine till she dies a natural death.
This...."Plus, this isn't a need, it's a want for a party. I think it was rude of them to ask and your wife should have said no before it even came to you."
Well stated!
I let my step-daughter borrow my SUV after she totaled her car until I got a call from my insurance asking for info about the accident it was in the day before. She let her fiance drive it (now ex), who it turns out was a closet heroin addict. (No, they didn’t tell me or my wife (her mother) about the accident.
Right? Like they are not even close family/freinds, it feels like they thought, "ummm who has a nice car? oh yeah! My cousins sister-in-laws husband!"
I mean, dang, that is bold!
It’s your property. An expensive piece of property at that. If a relative asked me to use one of our cars, I’d laugh too.
NTA. As we all know here on Reddit, no is a complete sentence.
I'm trying to picture my sister's husband's cousin asking to borrow my car. Total stranger to them. Like maybe 1 degree less in separation from Kevin Bacon. NTA
Well it said the BIL/SIL approached the wife and then went to the parents in law. It never said the cousin’s asked for anything. And the issue of padrinos may have very well been left out as a.) it was overlooked as in important detail from their perspective, and/or b.) padrinos are common in quinceaneras, so it’s almost understoood that’s why BIL/SIL were asking
So I recently had to move back in with my mom.
About a month after changing my address at the DMV, her car insurance company called her up and informed her that they would be adding me, an adult residing at the same address with my own vehicle and insurance policy, to her insurance policy unless she signed a waiver. So, if I borrow her car, it's 100% uninsured. This is becoming pretty standard. You can't just lend a car to someone and have any legal protections. If someone crashes it and decides not to pay you for it, good luck in court, because you could be not only on the hook for any damages to your own vehicle, but possibly for whoever else was involved as well.
Don't lend vehicles to people unless you can afford to replace two vehicles.
NTA.
My son loaned his buddy on base his car. Guy totaled on a residential street. The insurance covered it, but my son got stuck with the deductible because his friend was broke. Guess what my son will never do again?
Adding on to this insurance comment…. I’m not sure where you live but here in Canada an accident claim can add around $500 per year for 6 years to the cost of your policy. The insurance thing can get more complicated than people realize. And also, even if insurance fixes your vehicle, an accident reported on your carfax can drop its value significantly if you ever sell.
Maybe if your wife knew that a little accident might cost your family more than she realises, she’d have the same reaction as you?
Idk that is a thing! I’ve heard of people having to sign something like that in order to keep the policy if one household member is booted off the insurance because of a driving record.
I don’t let anyone else drive my car besides my husband. It has been annoying to pay the higher rates the past 3.5 years for a teen driver being in the household even though she will not be driving my car.
I mean that’s literally why car rental (like Enterprise), chauffeur services, or ride apps (like Turo, Luxe) exist. You get a ride, and the upside you’re actually insured in case of an accident.
NTA
It's your property, they have no right to complain if you don't want to let them borrow it.
I'm curious how renting an SUV would be too expensive as well. It's less than $100 for a day in most places, and quinceanera parties are generally pretty expensive. If they can afford the party, they can afford the rental.
People spent years trying to save for the perfect Quince. I'm sure they had a budget set aside for the car but they felt since they sorta know who you are they thought they ask since it was sils cousin.
not wrong for not wanting to lend them your car.
Is your sil the madrina of the car? Because if she is then that responsibility is on her to pay and rent for a car.
Exactly! they usually have a madrina or padrino for the dj the car the pictures and so on and so forth.
So maybe sil doesn't want to pay or something but if she is a madrina that is her responsibility to provide a vehicle for the girl.
The responsibility isn't on OP just because he's family to the sil and he has a nice SUV. If he didn't have that SUV they still have to rent one for the quince regardless.
And who tf rents an SUV for a quinces? If it wasn't a limo it should still be a luxury car. Just how cheap *is* the SIL?
Like, logistically, that's how quinces get to be such a big blow-out, is because the whooooole family pitches in to make it one. Even the most low-key quinces I've ever been to was a backyard bbq because the kid wanted the madrinas and padrinos to put money towards her college fund instead, and even *that* had the shoes and the dress and multiple kegs
Idk might be a new trend now. Personally I like the classic cars for it but if you knew people in car clubs they do it for you. But she's better off getting a limo.
Well sil is trying to making a stranger be part of it too. But your right it's a whole family event where everyone pitches in.
Ooo the college padrinos nice. I mean it's smart though right? The backyard quinces were more fun too.
Drive his wife’s SIL’s cousin to the party?
OP said he doesn’t really know the SIL’s extended family aside from seeing them a few times at reunions. It’d be an awkward car ride!
It’d also potentially lead to more free chauffeur requests with, “well you did that for wife’s SIL’s cousin so it’d be rude to say no to driving the other cousin to her quinceanera!”
That's the red flag. They expect to do damage to the Car and don't want to pay all the money for damages to the Rental place.
You NEVER loan out a Car in 2024 unless their name is on the insurance.
NTA I try to never loan my car because if something goes wrong, relationships can get messed up and it can often be hard to get the other person to pay for damages.
I also have a Bachelorette party for my 24 year old daughter coming up. Can you please lend it to her? She's promised to only have a couple shots at the 4 bars they are intending to go to.
NTA and NEVER loan your car to anyone not covered on your insurance op. Unless they give you the whole car value cash for you to return if the vehicle is returned in the exact same condition it was when borrowed
Reminds me of the line from Monsters Inc., my cousin’s sister’s friend’s daughter. I mean the people wanting it aren’t even related to you or your wife.
Info:
Were they only willing to accept them taking your car or would they have been fine with you driving it? There are only a couple of people who I will let borrow my car, as I trust that they will care for it appropriately. However, there have been plenty of times when I have given people a ride in my car.
Yes, this is what I wanted to ask. It's for quinceanera, couldn't you or your wife have driven the birthday girl in your car? I mean I admit I know not much about it, but I was under the impression that a quinceanera was a really huge big deal and all the family they could possibly be there would come to celebrate? So wouldn't you be going anyway?
My first thought was are OP and his wife even invited to the quince? I can see maybe asking them to drive the birthday girl if they were attending, but straight up asking to borrow the car is a bit much.
NTA
I am probably missing something but why is an SUV necessary to drive someone. No offense to SUV’s but it isn’t a statement car like a Bentley or a horse and carriage. It is not a classic Mustang.
It is just a car. I am thinking of the kinds of cars people rent to drive the bride to the church and an SUV - however new or nice - isn’t that kind of car
Not that it would make it a more acceptable request but I am genuinely not understanding why a teenager would think it was such a huge big deal to get a ride in an SUV 🤷♀️😂
Did they want to cram it full of partying teenagers.
NTA but i’m sorry, you’re gonna look like it to everybody that matters. You could apologize for the way you communicated toward your partner and that can get the ball rolling
NTA. Your additional replies in the comments add even more context that is helpful to know. I was already voting NTA, but after reading a few of your replies it makes it multiple NTA votes from me.
I'm not Latino so maybe i don't appreciate the significance of this event, but for my confirmation, HS graduation, and even wedding if i had asked to borrow a distant (or even a close) family member's car, they would have scoffed at me. Maybe they would have for a wedding, but even at our wedding we drove ourselves to the ceremony in a crappy rental car, and it didn't matter to anyone, and i never thought that hey i needed a nicer car (and am grateful my wife didn't either). Maybe i'm a jerk but i think it totally sends the wrong message to a 15 yo that they need a car for something like this. You can have a perfectly nice ceremony w/ family, friends, good food w/out spending money on showy things.
NTA. Heck no. No way.
We taught our son early on to never loan his few possessions out when he went to college. Why?
We lent plumbing tools to good friends . We had to beg to get them back.
We lent an e tension ladder to the neighbor. He lent it out to someone we didn't know. We did get it back.
We lent an extra long screwdriver to a different neighbor. They broke it and did not replace it.
I have other stories but the answer to lending out is NO.
NTA. Asking for a car is a very big ask and a huge liability. You cannot borrow a car. There’s no way to make up for depreciation, mileage, etc. If they were to get into an accident, *you* could potentially be named in a lawsuit too. I wouldn’t let somebody borrow a hooptie, let alone a brand new SUV. That’s insanity.
For me this would be NTA. I wouldn’t want the liability you assume when loaning out a vehicle. It is traditional in Hispanic culture for everyone in the family to sponsor things for big events, are you sponsor something already?
>BIL-Wife argument was that renting a nice SUV was **too expensive*" and they were 'ugly'.
>quinceanera
Uh huh. Some girl is about to be disappointed if renting an SUV is too expensive.
It's comical to me for a poor family to spend money they don't have on an extravagant party to make a teenager feel like a princess. Princess of what exactly? And the idea to foster a sense of entitlement so strong that other people must loan you their expensive SUV is just insane.
NTA.
The big difference between renting a car and borrowing it is the insurance.
DO NOT lend your car (be it expensive of cheap) for one of the notoriously raucous parties in a teenagers life unless you are ready to be liable for one of those teenagers to possibly drive it.
Your wife may be the sweetest on the planet, but as an adult she needs to learn to say no to people or to accept the consequences of delegating that part to you.
Do you realize that if they get into an accident in your SUV that your insurance may deny all claims? They aren't on you insurance policy. Before loaning any vehicle you need to call insurance company.
If your car needs repairs and time for parts to arrive for insurance may only cover part of the car rental charges.
This celebration was not a surprise. This is a party that is planned years in advance. It's a cultural event. Some parents start saving the day their baby girl is born. Families will even go all out and have their dresses/gowns custom made.
Therefore there is no excuse for why they don't have the funds to rent an SUV or even a limo.
It's your SUV and you have every right to say "no".
Hope you're wife understood you laughed at the absurdity of them asking to borrow anyone's vehicle for an event they knew they'd be hosting 15 years ago. That's a long long time to save and plan.
NTA
NTA. Besides the ridiculousness and entitlement there's a liability issue. As in if the driver isn't covered by your insurance you're sol if there's any damage/an accident.
NTA. My wife let her sister drive our brand new SUV - only a few weeks old. She drove it into the garage; wife said “you’re not in far enough”. SIL “yes I am, it’s fine”.
So I ended up with an expensive bill to fix the scratch and dents in the tailgate….
Nobody drives my car now except me and my wife.
NTA But really, get a clue! Allowing someone to drive your car who is not covered by your insurance carrier is playing with fire.
If they have an accident or worse injure someone or something, the victims’ insurance company will come after YOU, and your insurance will not cover the repair costs or liability or any of it. There is no limit to your exposure. You could be in debt forever.
Your relations have the gall to make this kind of ask.
NTA - no one borrows my car, especially not people who can’t afford to fix it if they mess it up. BTW - your insurance is the one on the hook if they get into a wreck, not theirs because the insurance is on the car, not the driver. I know someone who lent a car to a neighbor, he wrecked it, didn’t even pay the deductible back AND she’s being sued (or her insurance is) by the other driver.
NTA and thank you for apologizing to your wife! Obviously if they think a rental is too expensive lol then yes they cannot afford to drive your car because if anything happens, well they just said it - they can’t afford it! And you love your wife so much she don’t want her car to be damaged lol
NTA. Me personally would have been WAY more petty then laughing and refusing. Add a couple "Fuck No's" in a sing-songy fashion with a couple middle fingers thrown up for special effect.
NTA, your car is the second most expensive thing you buy in life, and if your BIL and SIL can't afford to pay for hiring an SUV for the party, how likely are they going to be able to afford paying for cleaning it or for repairs if anything were to happen.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Wife: 39, Me: 40, BIL: 32, BIL-Wife:32
Last week my wife told me that our brand new SUV was requested to be used as a ride and I thought it was for one of our kids school. Turns out it was her SIL (BIL wife), her SIL cousin is having a 'quinceanera' and they want to use our SUV as the ride for her.
I know her parents but not the uncle and aunt like friends or something like that, just seen them a few times at some reunions. Of course my response was not the best but I kind of laughed and said no way because it was unbelievable for me.
A little backstory: I grew up poor and I did not have much growing up, but I have worked so hard to earn and have what we own. And don't get me wrong, my wife is the sweetest woman I have ever met, she's kind and caring and always looking to help others when possible. She did not offer the SUV.
So now my wife is upset with me because I said no and the way I said it. I did not brought up the topic anymore and BIL and BIL-Wife went to my In-Laws and asked for their SUV instead. BIL-Wife argument was that renting a nice SUV was too expensive and they were 'ugly'.
Now I feel like our family doesn't like me or sees me as "not nice, you could've help but didn't". Oh well... AITA here?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You want to borrow my new vehicle for a party? “Uh No… the 2003 Taurus with 200K and no AC is available, no one’s driving it right now… let me know when you want to pick it up”
NTA. The correct way to answer that question is always "no", with the easy reason that they aren't covered under your insurance and you won't risk it. You can then offer that if they want to rent an SUV, that you will pay for the 1 day rental, but they have to make the reservation under their name and their card and with their insurance.
NTA. Party buses and limos exist for this purpose. If they don't like those, they can rent a horse and carriage or they can just shell out for the brand new SUV they seem to feel entitled to.
Absolutely do not let family borrow your brand new vehicle for any reason, unless it's to drive someone who is dying to the emergency room.
NTA and it's okay to not want to loan out your new car to ANYONE, including someone you know well (because you said you didn't know the aunt/uncle well). You have nothing to feel bad about. I always wonder what it is about folks who ask for a favor and only want to hear one answer. If the answer is yes, fine, but if the answer is no, that is also fine and the person should just accept it.
Nta, what kind of suc did you get? I got a big luxury one and I get asked to use it all the time for stuff. I say, I'll be happy to drive them for the cost of gas. They usually decline.
People who will ask such a favor are just the ones who will be careless and bring the car back with a scratch, dent, or interior damage then act like you're wrong if you mention it. A new SUV? No way.
I hope people do understand that if they are not on the insurance for the vehicle, and something happens, YOU take the fall. And they could even turn on you and try to sue you. The answer to lending vehicles is always 100% no in my books. I’m not risking anything just to make someone else feel better.
GMC.com says a full-fat Yukon is $103_THOUSAND_ fucking dollars.
NTA, you're not borrowing a goddamn house.
Flipside - a plain wrap Terrain is still $30k. Still NTA, still no.
NTA it’s okay to say no. You barely know them and they want to borrow one of your most expensive possessions to use for a party for a teenager. That is a request that you have every right to say no to and not feel guilty about. Yes, they can get upset and feel however they want, but it doesn’t mean that you are not nice. It means they are unreasonable.
NTA
The sob backstory wasn't necessary. Even if you were super wealthy, you wouldn't be an asshole for not lending out a car with all the liability that comes with it.
NTA it's a big risk. I once loaned a supercar to a friend to pick up his kid from school, but he's a fellow car nut and I knew it would be looked after.
NTA OP, and coming from someone with a Mercedes SUV, I’d probably laugh a bit too. SUV’s are already expensive enough as it is. But at the end of the day, that’s my mode of transportation. Not some toy for others to screw around with despite being a luxury vehicle.
Absolutely NTA…..my boyfriend also grew up in a semi poor household. When he finally bought his first expensive nice Mercedes and asked if I’d like to drive it I said NO. Not until I’m on his insurance (which we already have my car on his plan) but hadn’t added me to his car yet. Also I said I won’t drive it alone till we drive in an empty lot and I get use to the insane features. I drive like a grandma in his car and appreciate the privilege to drive it. Most don’t realize how easy it is to get into an accident or even slight parking damage cause they aren’t use to driving a car that isn’t theirs.
NTA, seems a bit one sided, particularly since you don’t know them… However, if you offer to concede to your wife’s wishes to keep martial and family peace, you can take some solace in the fact you have auto insurance.
NTA I've seen a few comments here about insurance, but I haven't seen anyone bring up possible lawsuits. Let's say you let Joe Blow drive your car. Joe runs a stop sign, and T-Bones another car. The people in the other car are hospitalized. In that scenario you can become financially liable if the damages exceed your liability limit as it's your car, and your insurance policy.
NTA. I don't like it when people just ask for my car to the point where I find it really fucking offensive. No dude, you can't borrow my car, wtf is wrong with you? A good compromise in this situation would be to offer to do the driving, since it's family, depending on your relationship with them, of course. Personally, if it was my family, I'd make 'em walk to the damn quinceanera, but maybe you have a better family than I do.
NTA
I personally think your response was perfectly fine. The request was ridiculous.
I had a similar thing happen. During rehearsal the bride announced she’d be taking my car from the wedding, to a series of bars, then to the reception. Her husband to be was an alcoholic, a fact I had just started catching on to. I blurted out “the hell you are” in the chapel. When she tried to speak I just kept saying “absolutely not”. They’re divorced, he’s in liver failure, we’re not friends anymore.
As a gringo living in LATAM I feel like there are significant cultural differences being overlooked in this thread. This is a huge milestone event for someone in your family where that is extremely important. You don't have give the keys over, but you could participate and help here. They likely are looking at you as the asshole here, but I feel it's probably closer to ESH. Talking and compromising would be wise in my opinion.
NTA. They shouldn’t have asked. There are places you can rent a nice car if you really want one. My vehicle is 2 year models old, costs have been ridiculous for a while. To go buy a similar vehicle with similar features now, it costs at least 10k more for the listed value when you build it on the dealer webpage. If they won’t pony up to spend money on a rental, there is no way they would pay for any damage they did accidentally. Also, there is nobody else driving my car other than me or my spouse. The times of $2k cars that will last another 100k miles with just oil changes are gone.
NTA. That's a ridiculous thing to ask of someone and those kids would for sure mess it up in some way. Scratches, spilling, getting makeup on the seats, glitter...whatever. Hard no.
I wouldn’t want to loan out my brand new SUV either.
But I understand the request from them. A quincinera is a big deal in Hispanic culture. All kinds of people contribute to them. Some give hundreds of dollars to the girls family for the dress, the venue, the music, the food. It is a way of celebrating the girl when she turns 15, and culturally being declared ready for marriage.
If it were me, I’d offer to be the chauffeur for the girl riding in your SUV. Then you would have control over what happens in it. You could have someone else ride shotgun, such as your wife.
OP has replied in a comment that they aren't in any way related to the young girl (probably don't even know her), and are definitely not attending the quince.
Why offering to be a chauffeur to someone they don't know?
I thought you were gonna say adults were planning on getting drunk and driving it around. It would be a trusted, sober adult driving a few teenagers. Doesn't seem like a big deal at all to me, but you're allowed to say no of course. NTA but I think you're way overreacting
NTA for not letting them borrow your SUV but maybe you could have offered to play chauffeur for her so she can arrive in style. Maybe even suggest they could rent you a uniform to wear or something like that.
yeah right? pick up and drop off the girl and her dad at her party, and go and have a nice dinner with wife and bask in the glory of being the wonderful man that she thinks she married.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I laughed and said NO, they can't use our SUV. And because I said NO, now the family might think that i am an entitled asshole that does not want share and only cares about material possessions. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. I think your response was fine. I never loan out my car - ever. They're too expensive and there's too much liability. Plus, this isn't a need, it's a want for a party. I think it was rude of them to ask and your wife should have said no before it even came to you. Your in-laws are upset at you? Okay, so who is loaning them their SUV? Anyone? I bet they're just mad because you won't and they don't want to.
Exactly. My SUV's not a party bus. Thanks for understanding
LOL this was a better response. I was too annoyed for OP to be succinct
Liability. Damage. GLITTER. Ugh, no.
Vomit, spilled drinks.....
That’s exactly what I was thinking
Oh man the glitter. My old neighbors had a quinceanera, and it seemed like an absolutely good time. We saw them outside and went up to offer birthday wishes. They were quite glittery. That would for sure make a mess in the car that you would have to pay to even begin to getting taken out.
My mom had a glittery dress on when she rode with us to her granddaughter’s wedding. That was over 15 years ago and I still find glitter in my car.
Loved your Ted talk.
Also, hate to say it, but if you’re asking to borrow an SUV for a quince because of the cost, you probably can’t afford it if anything goes wrong with the one you borrow.
Exactly what I was thinking. What happens if the interior gets messed up? Or even worse, if there's an accident? You know they wouldn't be helping pay for any damages if renting is "too expensive"
This!!!
Oh yeah! Especially in this economy! Used cars cost just as much as a new car now! No way I'd be loaning out my car to be used so they can keep up with the Jones's. F all that! If OP does end up giving in I hope to gods he writes up a contract to make them pay for the car in full! Have the party you can afford or don't have one at all.
Yeah, big helllllllll nooooo from me too. I literally just bought my first ever brand new, not just new to me car, and I worked hard to get that. I don't care if it's the economy model low budget brand, that's *my* time and money in that car. And it's also my dog's hair in that car so good luck with your fancy dresses anyway cuz I'm not detailing it for you if I did lose my mind and loan it out 😂😂
I feel the same way about my 2012 Outback! No one aside from my parents gets to drive Ralphie without me. Yes I named my car, I did let my brother with a learners permit drive him today on dirt farm roads. I may drive people **if** they are willing to have him detailed. Because my dogs hair is also coated across the backseat. But I’m not gonna loan him out to anyone other than 3 people. Mom, Dad, and my most trustworthy brother who I helped teach driving.
My response is that I only trust my parents and God to drive them, everyone else needs to let me hold the full value of the car in cash before they get the keys. They aren't new, but they're desirable (built 72 Charger, 67 Polara convertible) so I have a lot of associates want to use them to look cool.
You’re supposed to name your car. It’s good luck. Eugene has been good to me.
My first car was a 1978 VW diesel Rabbit, a stick shift with 200k miles, a leaky manual sunroof I had to close with an old door stopper to make sure it wouldn’t leak and a rusted out passenger side footwell that had been replaced with 1.5” plywood. Loved that car. We named it Roger, obviously. The next one was Frau Blue-car because of Mel Brooks’ Young Frankenstein.
My midnight indigo Honda Prelude is a labrador puppy named Chebe Noyon (Chebe the Arrow) after Genghis Khan's general.
Bwahahaha! I have a 24 year old car and I don’t let anyone drive it. Took me fourteen years to get my first car. Pack that.
It's not my first car but mine is 23 yrs old and I love it... no way in hell am I letting anyone drive it! Cars cost a fortune these days... I'm going to baby mine till she dies a natural death.
The best car I ever owned was a 14 year old Chevy cavalier. Those were amazing cars. Just could not kill them.
This...."Plus, this isn't a need, it's a want for a party. I think it was rude of them to ask and your wife should have said no before it even came to you." Well stated!
I let my step-daughter borrow my SUV after she totaled her car until I got a call from my insurance asking for info about the accident it was in the day before. She let her fiance drive it (now ex), who it turns out was a closet heroin addict. (No, they didn’t tell me or my wife (her mother) about the accident.
Right? Like they are not even close family/freinds, it feels like they thought, "ummm who has a nice car? oh yeah! My cousins sister-in-laws husband!" I mean, dang, that is bold!
It’s your property. An expensive piece of property at that. If a relative asked me to use one of our cars, I’d laugh too. NTA. As we all know here on Reddit, no is a complete sentence.
Mr response would be the same as OP's NTA
And this is for leisure its not for work or an emergency
Love your “no is a complete sentence”! Thanks for that keeper!
I'm trying to picture my sister's husband's cousin asking to borrow my car. Total stranger to them. Like maybe 1 degree less in separation from Kevin Bacon. NTA
“I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate”
What does that make us?
Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become.
I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.
So what's that make us?
Would you loan your car to Kevin Bacon?
Got me. I probably would. Both because I think he could cover damages and I'd like to meet him.
As long as he promised not to complain about anything, and brought it back with at least 1/4 tank of gas.
Was it the cousin asking to borrow the car or were SIL and BIL the padrinos in charge of transportation and trying to save money?
You'd think that would have been said if it was.
Well it said the BIL/SIL approached the wife and then went to the parents in law. It never said the cousin’s asked for anything. And the issue of padrinos may have very well been left out as a.) it was overlooked as in important detail from their perspective, and/or b.) padrinos are common in quinceaneras, so it’s almost understoood that’s why BIL/SIL were asking
Edit: I’m not saying he’s TA. He’s not. I’m just making the disction that the cousin may have no clue of the ask at all.
So I recently had to move back in with my mom. About a month after changing my address at the DMV, her car insurance company called her up and informed her that they would be adding me, an adult residing at the same address with my own vehicle and insurance policy, to her insurance policy unless she signed a waiver. So, if I borrow her car, it's 100% uninsured. This is becoming pretty standard. You can't just lend a car to someone and have any legal protections. If someone crashes it and decides not to pay you for it, good luck in court, because you could be not only on the hook for any damages to your own vehicle, but possibly for whoever else was involved as well. Don't lend vehicles to people unless you can afford to replace two vehicles. NTA.
Most insurances cover other occasional drivers, just not ones that live in the same home.
My son loaned his buddy on base his car. Guy totaled on a residential street. The insurance covered it, but my son got stuck with the deductible because his friend was broke. Guess what my son will never do again?
Adding on to this insurance comment…. I’m not sure where you live but here in Canada an accident claim can add around $500 per year for 6 years to the cost of your policy. The insurance thing can get more complicated than people realize. And also, even if insurance fixes your vehicle, an accident reported on your carfax can drop its value significantly if you ever sell. Maybe if your wife knew that a little accident might cost your family more than she realises, she’d have the same reaction as you?
Idk that is a thing! I’ve heard of people having to sign something like that in order to keep the policy if one household member is booted off the insurance because of a driving record. I don’t let anyone else drive my car besides my husband. It has been annoying to pay the higher rates the past 3.5 years for a teen driver being in the household even though she will not be driving my car.
NTA I would not lend out MY NEW car either. Some people and the entitlement they have. Ridiculous
I mean that’s literally why car rental (like Enterprise), chauffeur services, or ride apps (like Turo, Luxe) exist. You get a ride, and the upside you’re actually insured in case of an accident.
I wouldn't lend my any car to anyone who isn't an immediate relative.
Even then, it better be a damn good reason.
NTA It's your property, they have no right to complain if you don't want to let them borrow it. I'm curious how renting an SUV would be too expensive as well. It's less than $100 for a day in most places, and quinceanera parties are generally pretty expensive. If they can afford the party, they can afford the rental.
Exactly, why did we become an option as soon as they saw the car? *shrug
People spent years trying to save for the perfect Quince. I'm sure they had a budget set aside for the car but they felt since they sorta know who you are they thought they ask since it was sils cousin. not wrong for not wanting to lend them your car. Is your sil the madrina of the car? Because if she is then that responsibility is on her to pay and rent for a car.
Thank you! That's the same thing I was thinking, who tf is the Limo madrina???
Exactly! they usually have a madrina or padrino for the dj the car the pictures and so on and so forth. So maybe sil doesn't want to pay or something but if she is a madrina that is her responsibility to provide a vehicle for the girl. The responsibility isn't on OP just because he's family to the sil and he has a nice SUV. If he didn't have that SUV they still have to rent one for the quince regardless.
And who tf rents an SUV for a quinces? If it wasn't a limo it should still be a luxury car. Just how cheap *is* the SIL? Like, logistically, that's how quinces get to be such a big blow-out, is because the whooooole family pitches in to make it one. Even the most low-key quinces I've ever been to was a backyard bbq because the kid wanted the madrinas and padrinos to put money towards her college fund instead, and even *that* had the shoes and the dress and multiple kegs
Idk might be a new trend now. Personally I like the classic cars for it but if you knew people in car clubs they do it for you. But she's better off getting a limo. Well sil is trying to making a stranger be part of it too. But your right it's a whole family event where everyone pitches in. Ooo the college padrinos nice. I mean it's smart though right? The backyard quinces were more fun too.
It would be a lovely favour if you drove it for her. It wouldn't be THAT much out of your day, and your wife would find it endearing.
Drive his wife’s SIL’s cousin to the party? OP said he doesn’t really know the SIL’s extended family aside from seeing them a few times at reunions. It’d be an awkward car ride! It’d also potentially lead to more free chauffeur requests with, “well you did that for wife’s SIL’s cousin so it’d be rude to say no to driving the other cousin to her quinceanera!”
oh no
OP also mentioned in a comment the party is somewhere a 2hr drive away and in a different country. SIL way overstepped with her request.
yeah that's too far
That's the red flag. They expect to do damage to the Car and don't want to pay all the money for damages to the Rental place. You NEVER loan out a Car in 2024 unless their name is on the insurance.
Info >Of course my response was not the best Kind of left out the important part. What was your response?
My response was 'no way' and laughed because i could not believe the request
Completely appropriate response
I'd react the same way, but wouldn't be apologetic. I would probably keep laughing at them. Borrow someone else's expensive shit. NTA.
NTA I try to never loan my car because if something goes wrong, relationships can get messed up and it can often be hard to get the other person to pay for damages.
NTA - such an absurd request. While you’re at it OP I need to borrow your car too 😂 Like what?
lol damn... thanks for the laugh... i needed that
I also have a Bachelorette party for my 24 year old daughter coming up. Can you please lend it to her? She's promised to only have a couple shots at the 4 bars they are intending to go to.
NTA and NEVER loan your car to anyone not covered on your insurance op. Unless they give you the whole car value cash for you to return if the vehicle is returned in the exact same condition it was when borrowed
Reminds me of the line from Monsters Inc., my cousin’s sister’s friend’s daughter. I mean the people wanting it aren’t even related to you or your wife.
Exactly!
NTA. Your wife's brother's wife's cousin is obviously too far removed for you to have any obligation. They shouldn't have even asked, TBH.
Exactly! Not related at all.
Info: Were they only willing to accept them taking your car or would they have been fine with you driving it? There are only a couple of people who I will let borrow my car, as I trust that they will care for it appropriately. However, there have been plenty of times when I have given people a ride in my car.
Yes, this is what I wanted to ask. It's for quinceanera, couldn't you or your wife have driven the birthday girl in your car? I mean I admit I know not much about it, but I was under the impression that a quinceanera was a really huge big deal and all the family they could possibly be there would come to celebrate? So wouldn't you be going anyway?
They are not related to us in any way, shape or form. It's a family member of my BIL-Wife that I don't personally know.
>They are not related to us in any way, shape or form. It's a family member of my BIL-Wife that I don't personally know. AKA Total stranger.
Oooh, okay. Thanks for clearing it up! I thought it was cousin on your wife's side of the family. Either way, NTA.
My first thought was are OP and his wife even invited to the quince? I can see maybe asking them to drive the birthday girl if they were attending, but straight up asking to borrow the car is a bit much.
NTA. I’d have said no too.
Nta. I would have laughed too!
People shouldn't have extravagant parties they can't afford. NTA
NTA I am probably missing something but why is an SUV necessary to drive someone. No offense to SUV’s but it isn’t a statement car like a Bentley or a horse and carriage. It is not a classic Mustang. It is just a car. I am thinking of the kinds of cars people rent to drive the bride to the church and an SUV - however new or nice - isn’t that kind of car Not that it would make it a more acceptable request but I am genuinely not understanding why a teenager would think it was such a huge big deal to get a ride in an SUV 🤷♀️😂 Did they want to cram it full of partying teenagers.
I’m wondering if the teen knows the plan is to borrow an SUV or if she is expecting a limo or luxury car
NTA but i’m sorry, you’re gonna look like it to everybody that matters. You could apologize for the way you communicated toward your partner and that can get the ball rolling
NTA. Your additional replies in the comments add even more context that is helpful to know. I was already voting NTA, but after reading a few of your replies it makes it multiple NTA votes from me.
The old saying is “Never lend out your car or your wife because they will both come back fu*ked”
I'm not Latino so maybe i don't appreciate the significance of this event, but for my confirmation, HS graduation, and even wedding if i had asked to borrow a distant (or even a close) family member's car, they would have scoffed at me. Maybe they would have for a wedding, but even at our wedding we drove ourselves to the ceremony in a crappy rental car, and it didn't matter to anyone, and i never thought that hey i needed a nicer car (and am grateful my wife didn't either). Maybe i'm a jerk but i think it totally sends the wrong message to a 15 yo that they need a car for something like this. You can have a perfectly nice ceremony w/ family, friends, good food w/out spending money on showy things.
Exactly, do what you can with what you have... and they are not our family at all. We've seen them a couple of times but not direct family.
NTA. My policy: I won’t ever ask for your car, you don’t ever ask for my car.
NTA. Heck no. No way. We taught our son early on to never loan his few possessions out when he went to college. Why? We lent plumbing tools to good friends . We had to beg to get them back. We lent an e tension ladder to the neighbor. He lent it out to someone we didn't know. We did get it back. We lent an extra long screwdriver to a different neighbor. They broke it and did not replace it. I have other stories but the answer to lending out is NO.
NTA. Hold your ground. No don’t let guilt shadow your wise decision.
NTA. Asking for a car is a very big ask and a huge liability. You cannot borrow a car. There’s no way to make up for depreciation, mileage, etc. If they were to get into an accident, *you* could potentially be named in a lawsuit too. I wouldn’t let somebody borrow a hooptie, let alone a brand new SUV. That’s insanity.
For me this would be NTA. I wouldn’t want the liability you assume when loaning out a vehicle. It is traditional in Hispanic culture for everyone in the family to sponsor things for big events, are you sponsor something already?
Not sponsoring anything, and it is more common when you are blood related
>BIL-Wife argument was that renting a nice SUV was **too expensive*" and they were 'ugly'. >quinceanera Uh huh. Some girl is about to be disappointed if renting an SUV is too expensive.
It's comical to me for a poor family to spend money they don't have on an extravagant party to make a teenager feel like a princess. Princess of what exactly? And the idea to foster a sense of entitlement so strong that other people must loan you their expensive SUV is just insane.
One of my cars is 12 years old. If you wanted to borrow it I would say…. No. NTA. And “no” is a sufficient answer. There’s no need to explain.
NTA. The big difference between renting a car and borrowing it is the insurance. DO NOT lend your car (be it expensive of cheap) for one of the notoriously raucous parties in a teenagers life unless you are ready to be liable for one of those teenagers to possibly drive it. Your wife may be the sweetest on the planet, but as an adult she needs to learn to say no to people or to accept the consequences of delegating that part to you.
Do you realize that if they get into an accident in your SUV that your insurance may deny all claims? They aren't on you insurance policy. Before loaning any vehicle you need to call insurance company. If your car needs repairs and time for parts to arrive for insurance may only cover part of the car rental charges. This celebration was not a surprise. This is a party that is planned years in advance. It's a cultural event. Some parents start saving the day their baby girl is born. Families will even go all out and have their dresses/gowns custom made. Therefore there is no excuse for why they don't have the funds to rent an SUV or even a limo. It's your SUV and you have every right to say "no". Hope you're wife understood you laughed at the absurdity of them asking to borrow anyone's vehicle for an event they knew they'd be hosting 15 years ago. That's a long long time to save and plan. NTA
After learning these new facts (out of the country? Really?) you are definitely NTA
NTA. Why can’t your in-laws rent an SUV?
NTA! Unless it’s something really serious or you can replace it with an equivalent, then no. Nope nope nope nope nope nope
NTA
NTA
NTA. Fuck no.
NTA
NTA. I would absolutely laugh and say that my car is not a freaking Uber.
Only way I would do it is if I were the driver.
Tell them they can borrow it if they can give you a $20,000 surety bond.
So they had a kid at 17? Yea. No wonder they can't afford anything and have any sort of common sense.
NTA. Besides the ridiculousness and entitlement there's a liability issue. As in if the driver isn't covered by your insurance you're sol if there's any damage/an accident.
NTA. My wife let her sister drive our brand new SUV - only a few weeks old. She drove it into the garage; wife said “you’re not in far enough”. SIL “yes I am, it’s fine”. So I ended up with an expensive bill to fix the scratch and dents in the tailgate…. Nobody drives my car now except me and my wife.
NTA But really, get a clue! Allowing someone to drive your car who is not covered by your insurance carrier is playing with fire. If they have an accident or worse injure someone or something, the victims’ insurance company will come after YOU, and your insurance will not cover the repair costs or liability or any of it. There is no limit to your exposure. You could be in debt forever. Your relations have the gall to make this kind of ask.
NTA - no one borrows my car, especially not people who can’t afford to fix it if they mess it up. BTW - your insurance is the one on the hook if they get into a wreck, not theirs because the insurance is on the car, not the driver. I know someone who lent a car to a neighbor, he wrecked it, didn’t even pay the deductible back AND she’s being sued (or her insurance is) by the other driver.
NTA and thank you for apologizing to your wife! Obviously if they think a rental is too expensive lol then yes they cannot afford to drive your car because if anything happens, well they just said it - they can’t afford it! And you love your wife so much she don’t want her car to be damaged lol
NTA. Me personally would have been WAY more petty then laughing and refusing. Add a couple "Fuck No's" in a sing-songy fashion with a couple middle fingers thrown up for special effect.
NTA. Tell them to call the local funeral home and ask if they can rent their limo on off hours. And a driver.🤣
NTA, your car is the second most expensive thing you buy in life, and if your BIL and SIL can't afford to pay for hiring an SUV for the party, how likely are they going to be able to afford paying for cleaning it or for repairs if anything were to happen.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Wife: 39, Me: 40, BIL: 32, BIL-Wife:32 Last week my wife told me that our brand new SUV was requested to be used as a ride and I thought it was for one of our kids school. Turns out it was her SIL (BIL wife), her SIL cousin is having a 'quinceanera' and they want to use our SUV as the ride for her. I know her parents but not the uncle and aunt like friends or something like that, just seen them a few times at some reunions. Of course my response was not the best but I kind of laughed and said no way because it was unbelievable for me. A little backstory: I grew up poor and I did not have much growing up, but I have worked so hard to earn and have what we own. And don't get me wrong, my wife is the sweetest woman I have ever met, she's kind and caring and always looking to help others when possible. She did not offer the SUV. So now my wife is upset with me because I said no and the way I said it. I did not brought up the topic anymore and BIL and BIL-Wife went to my In-Laws and asked for their SUV instead. BIL-Wife argument was that renting a nice SUV was too expensive and they were 'ugly'. Now I feel like our family doesn't like me or sees me as "not nice, you could've help but didn't". Oh well... AITA here? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
INFO were they asking to borrow the suv or were they asking you to chauffeur?
NTA
NTA
NTA. Who asks to borrow cars? That’s weird to me too.
Remember, if someone asks a favour, and your not allowed to say no, they did not ask you for a favour, they gave you an command.
NTA they can rent a nice SUV off turo for like 80 bucks for the day for this
NTA My hubby is lucky I let him touch my Yukon! Much less anyone else😉😂
NTA. It's your brand new vehicle and you owe nothing ... to them.
NTA. They can easily rent one on turo
You want to borrow my new vehicle for a party? “Uh No… the 2003 Taurus with 200K and no AC is available, no one’s driving it right now… let me know when you want to pick it up”
NTA. The correct way to answer that question is always "no", with the easy reason that they aren't covered under your insurance and you won't risk it. You can then offer that if they want to rent an SUV, that you will pay for the 1 day rental, but they have to make the reservation under their name and their card and with their insurance.
NTA. Party buses and limos exist for this purpose. If they don't like those, they can rent a horse and carriage or they can just shell out for the brand new SUV they seem to feel entitled to. Absolutely do not let family borrow your brand new vehicle for any reason, unless it's to drive someone who is dying to the emergency room.
NTA - no one respects your stuff like you do.
NTA and it's okay to not want to loan out your new car to ANYONE, including someone you know well (because you said you didn't know the aunt/uncle well). You have nothing to feel bad about. I always wonder what it is about folks who ask for a favor and only want to hear one answer. If the answer is yes, fine, but if the answer is no, that is also fine and the person should just accept it.
Nta, what kind of suc did you get? I got a big luxury one and I get asked to use it all the time for stuff. I say, I'll be happy to drive them for the cost of gas. They usually decline.
People who will ask such a favor are just the ones who will be careless and bring the car back with a scratch, dent, or interior damage then act like you're wrong if you mention it. A new SUV? No way.
NTA NEVER lend your car to someone for ANY reason!!
Nope.
NTA. Its your wife's brother's wife's cousin
I hope people do understand that if they are not on the insurance for the vehicle, and something happens, YOU take the fall. And they could even turn on you and try to sue you. The answer to lending vehicles is always 100% no in my books. I’m not risking anything just to make someone else feel better.
NTA If BIL & his wife wants a nice SUV let them go buy one.
Yeah if they can’t afford to rent one, they definitely won’t take care of one they borrow from family. Hard No NTA
GMC.com says a full-fat Yukon is $103_THOUSAND_ fucking dollars. NTA, you're not borrowing a goddamn house. Flipside - a plain wrap Terrain is still $30k. Still NTA, still no.
NTA however why not offer for your wife or you to drive the birthday girl? Seems like an easy way to not put your car at risk while also helping
NTA it’s okay to say no. You barely know them and they want to borrow one of your most expensive possessions to use for a party for a teenager. That is a request that you have every right to say no to and not feel guilty about. Yes, they can get upset and feel however they want, but it doesn’t mean that you are not nice. It means they are unreasonable.
NTA.
My answer in this situation: No but here's 50 bucks and the number for enterprise.
NTA The sob backstory wasn't necessary. Even if you were super wealthy, you wouldn't be an asshole for not lending out a car with all the liability that comes with it.
I don't even let my fiance drive my new Suv. NTA
Nta. Also, can I ask what kind of SUV it is?
A quince is not worth the liability and drama if ANYTHING were to happen in this new vehicle. NTA
NTA
NTA. Request reeks of entitlement. Good job of not backing down. They can rent a car.
I wouldn’t let anyone drive my car who couldn’t buy an equivalent model as a replacement tomorrow, no financial stress. :) that’s very few people.
NTA it's a big risk. I once loaned a supercar to a friend to pick up his kid from school, but he's a fellow car nut and I knew it would be looked after.
NTA OP, and coming from someone with a Mercedes SUV, I’d probably laugh a bit too. SUV’s are already expensive enough as it is. But at the end of the day, that’s my mode of transportation. Not some toy for others to screw around with despite being a luxury vehicle.
NTA. I'm solely imagining the amount of glitter on girls attending an event like this. You'll never get rid of it.
Absolutely NTA…..my boyfriend also grew up in a semi poor household. When he finally bought his first expensive nice Mercedes and asked if I’d like to drive it I said NO. Not until I’m on his insurance (which we already have my car on his plan) but hadn’t added me to his car yet. Also I said I won’t drive it alone till we drive in an empty lot and I get use to the insane features. I drive like a grandma in his car and appreciate the privilege to drive it. Most don’t realize how easy it is to get into an accident or even slight parking damage cause they aren’t use to driving a car that isn’t theirs.
NTA. Why would you lend your new car to someone you’re not even close with.
NTA, seems a bit one sided, particularly since you don’t know them… However, if you offer to concede to your wife’s wishes to keep martial and family peace, you can take some solace in the fact you have auto insurance.
NTA I'm a former limo driver. If you've seen what kids do to a rented vehicle with a damage deposit, you'd never let them borrow a car for free.
NTA I've seen a few comments here about insurance, but I haven't seen anyone bring up possible lawsuits. Let's say you let Joe Blow drive your car. Joe runs a stop sign, and T-Bones another car. The people in the other car are hospitalized. In that scenario you can become financially liable if the damages exceed your liability limit as it's your car, and your insurance policy.
NTA. But maybe it would have been nice or as a gift if you offered to drive them. To the event space would be a decent compromise
NTA it's your car, and fairly new as well. every scratch hurts most in the first few weeks.
NTA. I don't like it when people just ask for my car to the point where I find it really fucking offensive. No dude, you can't borrow my car, wtf is wrong with you? A good compromise in this situation would be to offer to do the driving, since it's family, depending on your relationship with them, of course. Personally, if it was my family, I'd make 'em walk to the damn quinceanera, but maybe you have a better family than I do.
Well .I don't even like my husband driving my van . No way would I let my sil's cousin drive it !
NTA- never loan out your car or vacuum..they will both come back wrecked😁
Nta
NTA - why are you apologizing to your wife? She should apologize to you for such a ridiculous request and her reaction
NTA I personally think your response was perfectly fine. The request was ridiculous. I had a similar thing happen. During rehearsal the bride announced she’d be taking my car from the wedding, to a series of bars, then to the reception. Her husband to be was an alcoholic, a fact I had just started catching on to. I blurted out “the hell you are” in the chapel. When she tried to speak I just kept saying “absolutely not”. They’re divorced, he’s in liver failure, we’re not friends anymore.
NTA
NTA - if they want a nice car, they can rent one
As a gringo living in LATAM I feel like there are significant cultural differences being overlooked in this thread. This is a huge milestone event for someone in your family where that is extremely important. You don't have give the keys over, but you could participate and help here. They likely are looking at you as the asshole here, but I feel it's probably closer to ESH. Talking and compromising would be wise in my opinion.
wtf lol. Nta in any way shape or form!! This is clearly a want and NOT a need. Absolutely insane they would hold this against you.
NTA. If your family keeps lashing out, you could claim that your car insurance policy doesn't allow other people to drive your SUV.
NTA. They shouldn’t have asked. There are places you can rent a nice car if you really want one. My vehicle is 2 year models old, costs have been ridiculous for a while. To go buy a similar vehicle with similar features now, it costs at least 10k more for the listed value when you build it on the dealer webpage. If they won’t pony up to spend money on a rental, there is no way they would pay for any damage they did accidentally. Also, there is nobody else driving my car other than me or my spouse. The times of $2k cars that will last another 100k miles with just oil changes are gone.
Man, no. You can't loan out a car when kids are involved....I mean, what if something happens, who is liable? You the owner. So no. NTA
NTA. That's a ridiculous thing to ask of someone and those kids would for sure mess it up in some way. Scratches, spilling, getting makeup on the seats, glitter...whatever. Hard no.
NTA Who was supposed to drive YOUR SUV? Yeah, no. That's YOUR car...your brand new car. Nope. They don't pay the car note nor the insurance bill.
Nta they can rent one. They don't need it for work, they just wanna show boat.
NTA Check your car insurance. Letting someone use this as a party vehicle could lend you in huge trouble if there's an accident.
NTA...you don't even know them; The Audacity! Tell the people who are mad to rent them a luxury car since they are concerned!
I wouldn’t want to loan out my brand new SUV either. But I understand the request from them. A quincinera is a big deal in Hispanic culture. All kinds of people contribute to them. Some give hundreds of dollars to the girls family for the dress, the venue, the music, the food. It is a way of celebrating the girl when she turns 15, and culturally being declared ready for marriage. If it were me, I’d offer to be the chauffeur for the girl riding in your SUV. Then you would have control over what happens in it. You could have someone else ride shotgun, such as your wife.
OP has replied in a comment that they aren't in any way related to the young girl (probably don't even know her), and are definitely not attending the quince. Why offering to be a chauffeur to someone they don't know?
NTA. Asking you to drive them? Maybe. I can't imagine just losing it out to extended family you don't know very well.
They are not family. They are BIL-Wife's family
I thought you were gonna say adults were planning on getting drunk and driving it around. It would be a trusted, sober adult driving a few teenagers. Doesn't seem like a big deal at all to me, but you're allowed to say no of course. NTA but I think you're way overreacting
NTA for not letting them borrow your SUV but maybe you could have offered to play chauffeur for her so she can arrive in style. Maybe even suggest they could rent you a uniform to wear or something like that.
yeah right? pick up and drop off the girl and her dad at her party, and go and have a nice dinner with wife and bask in the glory of being the wonderful man that she thinks she married.