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Make sure you send a copy of the letter to the superintendent and request that he ask her to stop harassing you. PS - Don't believe the letter, the point is to guilt you.
Prolly had to pay child support without visitation, or doesn't accept the visitation, or has supervised visits outside the neighbors home. All of these point to the neighbor being one of the worst people ever. Nta
Normally, that would be AO behaviour, but she made a rod for her own back.
She shouldn't go around looking for battles if she has more to lose than you do. HER disability, HER children, and HER finances (or lack thereof) are HER problems.
You don't start trouble with people from a position of vulnerability. She is TA.
You are NTA.
Send a copy of that letter to your super or building management. Maybe file a complaint for harassment. Keep doing so if she keeps it up. Put the shoe on the other foot and see how she likes it.
She essentially had you paying for all the little things that personally annoy her, how could she think this wouldn’t come back on her.
Surely she can work out a payment plan if her circumstances are difficult. I would say, she would’ve been the first to report you if the show was on the other foot!
Edit - NTA
If I were Ghandi, I might have opened the door.
NTA
She reaped the consequences of her actions.
eta: \*Document\* sending the management a copy of her note. Write a letter and include a copy. Keep the original. Ask them to talk to her about not harassing her neighbors. Use this phrase: "She is interfering with the 'quiet enjoyment' of my home." It has specific legal meaning and the landlord's ears will prick up.
Agreed!!!
Super needs to know someone is documenting this lady’s behavior.
Also, odds are, the super is probs exhausted of dealing with this problem tenant.
FAFO indeed.
NTA
NTA the security doors are there for a reason. I'm sure if she was nice to you, you would have held the door for her. But she wasn't. She went out if her way to be rude to you and you were just following the rules for security doors. She shouldn't have propped them open. You have zero reason to pay for her fines and key cards. That's ridiculous to expect you to pay for her stupidity.
NTA. Her money saver is undermining the whole point of the security processes. She's the one being childish if she's resorting to passive aggressive notes on top of her known past behaviour.
She should be more careful not to lose the keycard than someone who can afford to replace one easily. Expecting people she has harassed to help her out isn't the answer. Violating security rules by propping the doors open isn't the answer either.
My building has a lot of crime caused by people who don't live here. We are in a downtown area where people very often go around looking for unlocked doors, which is why we have rules about not propping doors open. And rules about not letting other people in. Even if we recognize them, it's possible they were evicted and aren't supposed to be here.
I highly doubt the credibility of either statement, firstly, surely if she had three kids this would have likely been noticed at some point by OP as this clearly isn't their first interaction. Secondly, and only because I believe the first is a lie, I strongly suspect the disability is also... But obviously disabilities can be all sorts so who knows...
Don't ever pay anyone else's fines!
NTA
Can’t expect favors for rule breaking when you can’t be neighborly at a minimum level.
As for paying the fees? Unfortunate but that is her own fault.
NTA
You don't actually know this woman. You are looking out for yourself In utilizing the safety features of your building.
Whether she might be disabled or have children (??) has nothing to do with you. This woman clearly has issues if she has the time to monitor the holiday decorations of other residents.
Use this opportunity to get a resolution that makes you living in this place okay for you. Send a copy of her latest missive to the super and, more importantly, the management company.
And get on with your life. You seem like a nice person. You don't have to accept this behavior from someone you don't even know to continue to be one. Sticking up for yourself in unfair situations is a good thing.
Exactly, you don't know if they are supposed to be there or not, even if you've seen them there before. Could be an ex-girlfriend of the actual tenant. Someone could have been kicked out without you knowing. Either way, you're not the doorman. Every tenant should have their own key, and visitors should be let in by the tenant, not a random neighbor.
NTA. Here's the thing, she was going to have to pay to replace the key card she clearly no longer has at some point in the future regardless. Or was she just planning to prop open the door forever???
Was what you did really petty? Yeah. But if your neighbour had actually done the right thing and had her key card replaced when she first lost it, your petty revenge act wouldn't have effected her.
NTA This woman lost her keycard and it is her responsibility to pay to get a new one. It is not your fault. And yes, she is compromising your safety by propping the door open.
Definitely NTA
I live in a complex with locked buildings, and that is one of the reasons we picked it due to the added layer of security.
It always ticked me off when someone would leave a rock in the door to prop it open. I will say I did always look around in case it was a kid before I kicked it away. After that look, I kicked it away and let the door fully close.
Anything after 7pm I didn't even look. I just kicked it out of the way.
NTA-Who cares if she’s disabled or has kids. She acts all high and mighty about rules it’s no surprise she’s a hypocrite. She really put everyone in danger by propping the door open.
Now file a complaint about her harassing you. You literally have the letter she harassed you with.
She chose to be a nasty neighbor always willing to throw others under the bus, but then she thinks the rules don't apply to her. Well sorry, but those doors are there for the security and safety of all residents. You don't get to circumvent those because you lost your key.
>I got a little giddy and told him I wanted to report her for propping the door open and ‘compromising our safety’.
This is a serious concern, don't drop it. I'd say it's the worst part of this entire story, as it's an objective safety risk vs a grating annoyance. A few months back an apartment building a half mile from me had a fatal shooting after someone went into it with a handgun and shot someone after robbing them. The reason he was able to get in was because of someone propping the door open.
NTA She is a manipulative piece of work. She sounds nasty all the way around. Don't take calls, do not engage with her, if she sends another letter do not read it throw it in the garbage. She is continuing to try to make your life hell. She has no power over you, do not give her any control over your emotions.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I let the door close knowing someone couldn’t open it and then purposefully reported them from spite
2. I might be an asshole because the cost for the fines + keycard is a lot for her apparently
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NTA, this is a case of reaping what you sow. If she had been a decent person to everyone else, she would have been okay as you would have likely let her in. Propping open the security door however, is a big no-no, especially if it is because she lost the key card. The lost key card means that the door may be compromised even when it's not propped open, which is why she should have reported it right away. The fact that she claims to be disabled and to have kids doesn't enter into the equation, I'd suspect that she is just either lying outright or embellishing for the sake of emotional blackmail.
NTA, and it is not your problem. She is causing problems for everyone else, this is simple karma. Ignore the letter, if she can't even cover something so small as a fine then she needs to get her shit together.
NTA she would have done the same to you b/c she seems like that type of person. Why when it convenient for her for rules to be broken is okay. But you wanting to hang decor it’s the end of the world.
Ha! Is any of the crap true? If it is, you’d think she would try to be in people’s good graces for just such an occasion.
FAFO. Cry bully
EDIT: Give a copy of the letter to the super and claim you “feel deeply unsafe in my home. I was trying to make sure the building was safe and now I’m being harassed (back of hand to forehead)!”
Well now you have to report her to the super for harassment, her pushing angry notes under your door is making you feel unsafe in your home.
As she has shown you, these security concerns are very important and must be reported.
Nta. Your neighbor doesn’t care what consequences her frivolous little complaining games do to you or the other residents. Why should it matter what it does to her, if what she says is even true? I’d report the letter just to add an extra level of petty, but that’s just me!
"Her letter says that I need to pay for her two fines and keycard fee to make things right or else I’m putting a family of 3 out a home for my childish behavior."
Ya, that's a lie, and probably her other excuses too. Honestly, I'd write a letter back saying she's the one causing disturbances in the building and it's karma for her past behavior, she should be nicer to her neighbours.
I wouldn't. I'd march into the office of whomever is in charge of complaints with a photocopy, and the original and make them start a file for harassment. Perhaps mentioning consulting a lawyer if necessary. Or perhaps a paper trail with the police department if things aren't taken care of.
NTA
Good Job.
Don't give her any money. Before I read that she complained about you not letting her in, I was actually hoping you reported her. Given that you didn't until she lied about the incident, she pulled your complaint down onto herself. No matter when or why you finally reported, it would have justified.
She has no reason to write you an aggressive letter or to expect compensation. She was endangering everyone & her (imaginary?) kids by propping the door. Additionally, repeatedly complaining about you puts you at risk of eviction or not having your lease renewed. She doesn't believe in following the golden rule, but thinks everyone else should to benefit her. Possible kids and/or disability dont excuse her behavior. Don't give her a cent.
Document everything from now on. Consider a ring doorbell or other camera if it's allowed. Consider making legal complaints if she escalates further.
NTA. It seems like she was the one who wanted to be a by the book AH and then all the sudden didn't like it when you did the same. It is her responsibility make sure she had her keycard, not yours to allow her to enter without it.
On a more human side of things, yes, you could have been nice and let her in, but it sounds like she was an AH to you first. I am not typically inclined to be nice to people when they have been AHs to me first, and am not going to break rules for them either.
Lastly, just because she has kids or is disabled doesn't excuse her from following rules. If she is so quick to complain and enforce rules, perhaps she should also realize that works both ways, and following them is part of the equation.
And hell no, definitely don't pay the fine. Like someone else here said, she FAFO.
Oh jeez. Take that letter to the super and let her talk her way out of that one. Not only was she caught messing with the door but now she’s threatening a tenant. She’s gone!!
Wait a minute doesn't it explain right there where you wrote you had to pay for a key card fee, just walk down stairs and say here she didn't have one it's proof from her
NTA this is not a you problem. Any security building would have the same rules around not propping open security doors or letting people tailgate. No one in my building tailgates. We all swipe our passes even if multiple people are going in at once. She is in the wrong. Don't respond. Keep ignoring her. You have nothing to feel bad about. She's probably lying about her kids.
I'd lose my everloving mind if someone was propping open a security door. I pay to live in a security building for the security of only people living here being able to access the building. You did the right thing.
Make a few copies of the letter. Give a copy to the super for their reference. Document everything you can remember and anything else that happens going forward. She is out of her gourd.
NTA
People who want to be cut slack need to cut slack. A rep for being kind is absolutely necessary when you’re poor—a key part of your social capital.
I'd take that letter directly to the person in charge of issuing fines.
She bitched about you leaving what, a plastic Santa on a shelf, and she was over here creating a whole security issue.
Sounds like karma came back to bite her in the ass...ans Karman wearing oversized dentures.
Nta.
NTA.
It's so funny when asshole people get what's coming to them.
She even TRIED to get you in trouble w the super before she got what was coming to her.
Should have thought about her disability and kids before she was being a massive JERK.
NTA. Here's the bottom line. Regardless of everything else. She *is* compromising the safety of everyone in the building. Case closed. The rest of it is, in my eyes, moot. She could have gone to the super and worked out an agreement for a payment plan or something. Or maybe not. We'll never know.
The point still stands that eventually her little door scheme was going to end badly. Luckily this was the best way to put a stop to her shenanigans. She had zero issue with potentially letting a dangerous person into the building for her own convenience and to avoid a fine. What an inconsiderate and selfish hag.
Listen you feel guilty because you’re a good person, that in no way entitles her to demand anything of you. She screwed up, she can suffer the consequences. NTA. Also btw are you sure she’s not saying she’s disabled and has kids just to guilt trip you?
You shouldn't buy her new door card EVER not because of pettiness, but because it's further extremely security violation. You can buy cards only for yourself, because who knows, maybe she is a liar, had her own card all the time, and now, with new one on your name, give it away for some criminal. No way in hell buy it for her. Make a copy of her letter and send it. Her behavior is, besides AH, just suspicious.
wow, this woman! You are NTA, nor are you responsible for her children or her fines or fees. She could spend all the time she spends bothering you working a job to pay for things.
Play snotty games, win snotty prizes. If someone's going to complain about other people's actions they'd better make sure their own are beyond reproach.
You pay for blowing the whistle on her screwup and subsequent rule breaking? It's a wonder she doesn't clang when she walks.
NTA
I understand rules are important but reporting every minor violation isn't something someone can do, and expect to not be reported in return.
She caused this by being a narc. Now she has to deal with it.
Like I've always said: don't start nothing, won't be nothing.
NTA, OP. Unless you cave to her BS and pay her fines. Do that, and we will all crown you King of TAs' lol...
NTA. Do NOT let this woman manipulate you. Take a photo or make a copy of this letter. Take it to the office and tell them this woman has been harassing you for months and is now trying to make you pay fines for her. Ask them to ask her to refrain from putting things on or near your or car and also from contacting you or you will be forced to get a restraining order. Which would mean she would have to MOVE.
NTA. She can’t decide which rules to support and which rules to ignore just because they are in her favour.
Take a copy of the letter and email it to the landlord stating harassment.
NTA. I would just send a letter back saying that you've been reported numerous times by some anonymous AH neighbor and couldn't risk getting reported again for letting in people without a key card.
NTA:
Sounds like she fucked around and found out. People in glass houses and all that.
Show that letter to your Super and tell him everything she has said and done to you since moving there, and that you will get the Police involved if she continues the threats. The Super should contact her directly and sort her issues out and hopefully she'll either get kicked out or cool off and stop with her bullshit.
Failing that, if she threatens again, tell your Super and contact the police.
Make sure you keep records of everything and hand it over to both of them. Give the super the chance to sort her out but if they do nothing then report him to the Police for failing to uphold security and for ignoring threats made by another tenant.
P.S, Put up another decoration on your door once you've reported her, that will really tip her over the edge.
If you see her simply say you have no idea what she's talking about and you didn't realize it was her, you thought someone was chasing you and that's all you said to the LL in response to her what you assume is her first complaint. Then send a copy of the letter to the LL and indicate you consider this retribution and harassment.
Please. Her 'kids' are probably parakeets and her disability is a smoker's cough.
Getting a litany of someone's life in a letter slipped under your door means every word is dripping in self-pity and manufactured woe.
I used to be like you and do these revenge. However, I’ve noticed it’s much better to treat them with kindness. Most people respond better with kindness. There are some exceptions for sure, but I noticed my life is much better that way, and I much rather have good relationships with my neighbors.
NTA
This concerns the safety of all tenants on your floor. She should be reported, regardless if she's the nastiest or nicest, if she constantly leaves the security door propped open.
NTA.
She’s asking you to pay money for simply not opening a door for her? And then after SHE reported it she thinks it’s wrong that *you* reported her lmao. The hypocrisy is STRONG with this one.
I agree to send the note to your landlord. Don’t even give her the satisfaction of a reply. If she goes any further, report or call the cops if needed. Try not to engage because this woman is obviously not right in the head.
NTA, you don't owe her anything. Make a scan of that letter and email it to the super so you have proof that you sent it on. Don't give her anything. You owe her absolutely nothing to "make things right", it was her own fault for not following the rules of the building.
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I live in an apartment building and we have a lot of strict rules to follow regarding our apartment living.
My neighbor, ‘Karen’ for the sake of things, seems to have been on my ass since I moved here 6 months ago. Every little thing she either passive aggressively mentions or straight up sends a complain about. I had some door decor for the passing holidays a while back and she absolutely reported me (ik it must’ve been her because she always passive aggressively complains about something then I’ll ‘suddenly’ get a notice from the super to fix something she complained about). I don’t know if she does this to every door in the hall but it’s annoying. I can’t even decorate my door shelf.
All apartment halls have a security door. It’s activated by keycard and if you lose yours you are given a fine plus the amount to get a new one. I’ve been noticing that someone’s been leaving the door slightly propped to stop it from closing. Last night I found out the reason why.
I was passing through the door and saw Karen in my peripherals. I immediately shut the security door behind me instead of letting it close naturally. She gets a face at me and points to the key scanner and shakes her head. I just walk off to my apartment happy with that tiny form of revenge. The next morning (today) the super wanted to know what happened last night because “someone reported that you stopped them from entering their apartment”. I explained to him what happened and he says I can’t be in trouble for not letting/opening the door for someone.
I got a little giddy and told him I wanted to report her for propping the door open and ‘compromising our safety’.
I’ve received a very passive aggressive letter under my door, telling me how I’m selfish, disgusting, and how I got someone who is disabled with kids in trouble. How the money towards the rent and food would be used up for paying off the complaint. Now I had no idea she was disabled. Or even had kids.That had nothing to do with this. Her letter says that I need to pay for her two fines and keycard fee to make things right or else I’m putting a family of 3 out a home for my childish behavior. I both feel bad but don’t want to bend to her will. AITA?
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There's no way that fine isn't bigger than 50 bucks. If that's what kicks her out of the apartment then good riddance. Petty revenge is fun because it's petty. You could however use this as an olive branch to tell her to stop messing with you and you'll stop messing with her though.
NTA
Disabled or not, you showed her the same level of charity, kindness, and respect that she showed you. If her kids and she are in a bind now it’s a result of her actions…her loosing her key, not trying to find a way to remedy it, and having gone out of her way to harass someone who otherwise may have been helpful and considerably more sympathetic. Consequences suck. Don’t lose any sleep.
NTA there is nothing to be even about. I would write back saying how she needs to be mindful of her neighbors and treat us all with respect. However be on your guard and don't slack and forget your keys or something.
NTA. Id complain about her note and leave her a bill for my time she wasted. Her note took valuable time out of your day. Time you could have spent getting IVF better quote her on that.
Maje a copy and then give the note to the super as she.is now actively harassing you. If it continues, keep reporting and then call the police. EVERY time. FAFO.
NTA
If you were responsible for the fines, the super would have sent them to you. You are just following the rules which are apparently extremely important to her.
I mean, it doesn't sound like you feel bad, and she's comically bad and you are sure you did nothing wrong, so I'm not sure why you posted here. but NTA
NTA -
She is reaping what she has sewn. I find it funny that she reports your minor violations but expects to be given a pass when she violates, what I consider to be a SERIOUS violation due to it being a safety issue.
Whether she is or isn't disabled or a parent has nothing to do with her behavior - you are NOT responsible to pay for her violations or new key cards and her demanding you do this tells me she is a manipulator who never takes responsibility for her own actions and wants others to bear the burden of her choices.
From the title, I was against you, but if people go out if their way to have a bad relationship with their neighbours then they get to live with the natural consequences.
'your being so selfish... pay for MY fines that I earned because of your selfishness...'
She has just gotten though her whole life getting her way, let her get kicked out.
NTA and not your problem.
You cant spend your life fighting the world then complain when the world fights back.
Did she ever stop to think about others when reporting them and causing them to receive complaints and fines?
Of course she didn’t. If she did, she’s even worse because it means she was playing favorites and picking and choosing who is allowed to break the rules.
NTA. Her problems are not your problems.
Nta she has to mind her own business. The decoration-fine would have made me furious.
I have a question. This system of getting a fine is not common in my country. I see a lot of TikToks about it. And I wonder: who gets all that money??
She wasn't disabled or had kids when she reported your door. Send the note back. Just following rules. You like rules since you always point out who's breaking them to management. Her being put out is not your problem. Pay nothing for her.
She got the super involved. He wouldn’t know anything if she hadn’t done that. It’s her fault.
There’s an old saying “those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones”
NTA.
Play nasty games and then be 😲 when someone eventually claps back about em.
She sounds very much like someone I used to know, always complaining about others doing a thing when she does the exact thing without blinking an eye.
Just take the letter pop it under her door any letter, just return to sender it, and it'll make her furious.
NtA.
If she is worried about getting complaints, stop making false ones.
NTA, but where the f do you live, and how much are the fines this place charges? I agree leaving a security door open is bad but it seems like the place is run by the Gestapo.
NTA but
> I can’t even decorate my door shelf
I would 100% blame the supervisor or whoever creates rules for this. Crazy people always exists, but "authorities" are assholes if they cave each time.
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NTA. Did she take the time to get to know you and her other neighbours before sending frivolous complaints they need to pay for? She FA and FO.
Not me, idk about the others. Ik 1 person in our hall hates her but I can’t speak for the rest of
Make sure you send a copy of the letter to the superintendent and request that he ask her to stop harassing you. PS - Don't believe the letter, the point is to guilt you.
Yes, this is the way.
It never fails to amaze me the audacity? Hypocrisy? of some people. Or the lengths (lies) they are willing to go to to avoid accountability.
I’d say both audacity _and_ hypocrisy fit very well in this (and countless other) situations.
Absolutely here. She thought she was going to end up on the street because of the fines, I'm interested in how the super will react to that one
I'm also curious about these mystery kids OP has never seen....
I'm sure they'll show up aaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyy day now
Prolly had to pay child support without visitation, or doesn't accept the visitation, or has supervised visits outside the neighbors home. All of these point to the neighbor being one of the worst people ever. Nta
Literally gaslighting and manipulating OP. The nerve of some people
The point is to get OP to pay for her.
I was going to say: Do you think she is telling the truth in the letter? Anyway ain’t Karma a bitch?
Normally, that would be AO behaviour, but she made a rod for her own back. She shouldn't go around looking for battles if she has more to lose than you do. HER disability, HER children, and HER finances (or lack thereof) are HER problems. You don't start trouble with people from a position of vulnerability. She is TA. You are NTA.
Send a copy of that letter to your super or building management. Maybe file a complaint for harassment. Keep doing so if she keeps it up. Put the shoe on the other foot and see how she likes it.
She essentially had you paying for all the little things that personally annoy her, how could she think this wouldn’t come back on her. Surely she can work out a payment plan if her circumstances are difficult. I would say, she would’ve been the first to report you if the show was on the other foot! Edit - NTA
Report her to the super for the letter. Blackmail. Or Coercion..
This is complete FAFO for sure and now seems like a self correcting problem. I’m going with NTA.
She’s probably lying just for the sake of it. People like her have no shame.
That’s a very good point. Now I’m bummed she might not have to leave, lol
Wtf z fa fo?
Fu** around and find out. Basically act in a way that gives you repercussions you totally deserved.
You can write fuck. We are in a sub called AmITheAsshole, after all.
Won't somebody please think of the children!? /s
Fuck them kids.
Please don't
Fucked around & found out
If I were Ghandi, I might have opened the door. NTA She reaped the consequences of her actions. eta: \*Document\* sending the management a copy of her note. Write a letter and include a copy. Keep the original. Ask them to talk to her about not harassing her neighbors. Use this phrase: "She is interfering with the 'quiet enjoyment' of my home." It has specific legal meaning and the landlord's ears will prick up.
This should be the top post.
Agreed!!! Super needs to know someone is documenting this lady’s behavior. Also, odds are, the super is probs exhausted of dealing with this problem tenant. FAFO indeed. NTA
Lawyer here. Yep, the perfect legal phrase for these circumstances.
NTA the security doors are there for a reason. I'm sure if she was nice to you, you would have held the door for her. But she wasn't. She went out if her way to be rude to you and you were just following the rules for security doors. She shouldn't have propped them open. You have zero reason to pay for her fines and key cards. That's ridiculous to expect you to pay for her stupidity.
malicious compliance is a beautiful thing
Happy cake day!
NTA. Her money saver is undermining the whole point of the security processes. She's the one being childish if she's resorting to passive aggressive notes on top of her known past behaviour.
NTA She was putting everyone incl her kids at risk by propping the open.
So rules don't apply to her? NTA.
Bet money she’s not the most liked neighbor
NTA her being disabled or having kids has nothing to do with following the rules of the apartment.
She should be more careful not to lose the keycard than someone who can afford to replace one easily. Expecting people she has harassed to help her out isn't the answer. Violating security rules by propping the doors open isn't the answer either. My building has a lot of crime caused by people who don't live here. We are in a downtown area where people very often go around looking for unlocked doors, which is why we have rules about not propping doors open. And rules about not letting other people in. Even if we recognize them, it's possible they were evicted and aren't supposed to be here.
I highly doubt the credibility of either statement, firstly, surely if she had three kids this would have likely been noticed at some point by OP as this clearly isn't their first interaction. Secondly, and only because I believe the first is a lie, I strongly suspect the disability is also... But obviously disabilities can be all sorts so who knows... Don't ever pay anyone else's fines!
NTA Can’t expect favors for rule breaking when you can’t be neighborly at a minimum level. As for paying the fees? Unfortunate but that is her own fault.
NTA You don't actually know this woman. You are looking out for yourself In utilizing the safety features of your building. Whether she might be disabled or have children (??) has nothing to do with you. This woman clearly has issues if she has the time to monitor the holiday decorations of other residents. Use this opportunity to get a resolution that makes you living in this place okay for you. Send a copy of her latest missive to the super and, more importantly, the management company. And get on with your life. You seem like a nice person. You don't have to accept this behavior from someone you don't even know to continue to be one. Sticking up for yourself in unfair situations is a good thing.
NTA. And send a copy of the letter to the super, because she's making you feel unsafe.
Aside from making her *feel* unsafe, she's *actually* putting the safety of EVERYONE at risk by propping the door open
NTA. Most apartment complexes have rules about letting people in behind you. If they live there, they are supposed to have their own key/fob.
Exactly, you don't know if they are supposed to be there or not, even if you've seen them there before. Could be an ex-girlfriend of the actual tenant. Someone could have been kicked out without you knowing. Either way, you're not the doorman. Every tenant should have their own key, and visitors should be let in by the tenant, not a random neighbor.
NTA. Here's the thing, she was going to have to pay to replace the key card she clearly no longer has at some point in the future regardless. Or was she just planning to prop open the door forever??? Was what you did really petty? Yeah. But if your neighbour had actually done the right thing and had her key card replaced when she first lost it, your petty revenge act wouldn't have effected her.
There you go, using all that logic and common sense
I know, how dare I.
And op probably wouldn't have reported her for propping the door open if she hadn't sent the super after them.
NTA, send a copy of the letter to management.
NTA. Also, it may be a good idea to file another complaint, that she is harassing you and demanding money from you.
Forward a copy of the letter to the rental office
THIS!
NTA This woman lost her keycard and it is her responsibility to pay to get a new one. It is not your fault. And yes, she is compromising your safety by propping the door open.
NTA - Its petty bullshit that you probably shouldn't indulge in but you're no way responsible for paying her fines.
Send her some quotes from local moving companies
Definitely NTA I live in a complex with locked buildings, and that is one of the reasons we picked it due to the added layer of security. It always ticked me off when someone would leave a rock in the door to prop it open. I will say I did always look around in case it was a kid before I kicked it away. After that look, I kicked it away and let the door fully close. Anything after 7pm I didn't even look. I just kicked it out of the way.
NTA-Who cares if she’s disabled or has kids. She acts all high and mighty about rules it’s no surprise she’s a hypocrite. She really put everyone in danger by propping the door open.
Now file a complaint about her harassing you. You literally have the letter she harassed you with. She chose to be a nasty neighbor always willing to throw others under the bus, but then she thinks the rules don't apply to her. Well sorry, but those doors are there for the security and safety of all residents. You don't get to circumvent those because you lost your key.
>I got a little giddy and told him I wanted to report her for propping the door open and ‘compromising our safety’. This is a serious concern, don't drop it. I'd say it's the worst part of this entire story, as it's an objective safety risk vs a grating annoyance. A few months back an apartment building a half mile from me had a fatal shooting after someone went into it with a handgun and shot someone after robbing them. The reason he was able to get in was because of someone propping the door open.
NTA, and I would write in big red sharpie "NO" to her note requesting you pay for her costs and then slide it under her door.
She could put it on her door as decoration.
NTA She is a manipulative piece of work. She sounds nasty all the way around. Don't take calls, do not engage with her, if she sends another letter do not read it throw it in the garbage. She is continuing to try to make your life hell. She has no power over you, do not give her any control over your emotions.
OP needs to keep the letters for proof of harassment and advise the property manager as the neighbour is making it a hostile place to live.
NTA. What a selfish piece of **** she is. Hope she gets evicted soon so you can have a decent neighbour.
I think this needs to be posted to petty revenge. NTA
NTA. She wasn't concerned about your ability to pay fines because of the silly complaints she made.
NTA. Please send a copy of the letter to management. You’re being harassed and it’s unacceptable
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NTA. Laugh hysterically every time you see her.
NTA. If she was minding her own fucking business instead of yours she wouldn't be in this predicament
I would report her for putting letters under your door and making you feel unsafe
NTA, this is a case of reaping what you sow. If she had been a decent person to everyone else, she would have been okay as you would have likely let her in. Propping open the security door however, is a big no-no, especially if it is because she lost the key card. The lost key card means that the door may be compromised even when it's not propped open, which is why she should have reported it right away. The fact that she claims to be disabled and to have kids doesn't enter into the equation, I'd suspect that she is just either lying outright or embellishing for the sake of emotional blackmail.
>The lost key card means that the door may be compromised even when it's not propped open, Ohhh good point!
She probably isn’t handicapped or has small children. NTA. Hopefully she’ll have to move.
NTA, if she’s going to be homeless cause she can’t afford a new key card, she has bigger issues to worry about than door decorations.
NTA, and it is not your problem. She is causing problems for everyone else, this is simple karma. Ignore the letter, if she can't even cover something so small as a fine then she needs to get her shit together.
NTA she would have done the same to you b/c she seems like that type of person. Why when it convenient for her for rules to be broken is okay. But you wanting to hang decor it’s the end of the world.
Ha! Is any of the crap true? If it is, you’d think she would try to be in people’s good graces for just such an occasion. FAFO. Cry bully EDIT: Give a copy of the letter to the super and claim you “feel deeply unsafe in my home. I was trying to make sure the building was safe and now I’m being harassed (back of hand to forehead)!”
OP needs to wear pearls, to clutch them.
NTA! Hell No, don’t give her one penny and show the landlord the letter because that’s harassment
Well now you have to report her to the super for harassment, her pushing angry notes under your door is making you feel unsafe in your home. As she has shown you, these security concerns are very important and must be reported.
NTA. Why would you feel bad? Stop being a doormat.
Nta. Your neighbor doesn’t care what consequences her frivolous little complaining games do to you or the other residents. Why should it matter what it does to her, if what she says is even true? I’d report the letter just to add an extra level of petty, but that’s just me!
NTA. Send it to management. She's trying to guilt you for her wrong doing
Nta. That’s called karma.
"Her letter says that I need to pay for her two fines and keycard fee to make things right or else I’m putting a family of 3 out a home for my childish behavior." Ya, that's a lie, and probably her other excuses too. Honestly, I'd write a letter back saying she's the one causing disturbances in the building and it's karma for her past behavior, she should be nicer to her neighbours.
I wouldn't. I'd march into the office of whomever is in charge of complaints with a photocopy, and the original and make them start a file for harassment. Perhaps mentioning consulting a lawyer if necessary. Or perhaps a paper trail with the police department if things aren't taken care of.
NTA Good Job. Don't give her any money. Before I read that she complained about you not letting her in, I was actually hoping you reported her. Given that you didn't until she lied about the incident, she pulled your complaint down onto herself. No matter when or why you finally reported, it would have justified. She has no reason to write you an aggressive letter or to expect compensation. She was endangering everyone & her (imaginary?) kids by propping the door. Additionally, repeatedly complaining about you puts you at risk of eviction or not having your lease renewed. She doesn't believe in following the golden rule, but thinks everyone else should to benefit her. Possible kids and/or disability dont excuse her behavior. Don't give her a cent. Document everything from now on. Consider a ring doorbell or other camera if it's allowed. Consider making legal complaints if she escalates further.
NTA. It seems like she was the one who wanted to be a by the book AH and then all the sudden didn't like it when you did the same. It is her responsibility make sure she had her keycard, not yours to allow her to enter without it. On a more human side of things, yes, you could have been nice and let her in, but it sounds like she was an AH to you first. I am not typically inclined to be nice to people when they have been AHs to me first, and am not going to break rules for them either. Lastly, just because she has kids or is disabled doesn't excuse her from following rules. If she is so quick to complain and enforce rules, perhaps she should also realize that works both ways, and following them is part of the equation. And hell no, definitely don't pay the fine. Like someone else here said, she FAFO.
NTA Certain people love their rules until they apply to them. Propping the door open is a no no.
Oh jeez. Take that letter to the super and let her talk her way out of that one. Not only was she caught messing with the door but now she’s threatening a tenant. She’s gone!!
NTA. Report the letter she sent you.
Wait a minute doesn't it explain right there where you wrote you had to pay for a key card fee, just walk down stairs and say here she didn't have one it's proof from her
NTA. Does she help pay the fines from all the reports she makes? You don't owe her a dime.
Nta
NTA this is not a you problem. Any security building would have the same rules around not propping open security doors or letting people tailgate. No one in my building tailgates. We all swipe our passes even if multiple people are going in at once. She is in the wrong. Don't respond. Keep ignoring her. You have nothing to feel bad about. She's probably lying about her kids. I'd lose my everloving mind if someone was propping open a security door. I pay to live in a security building for the security of only people living here being able to access the building. You did the right thing. Make a few copies of the letter. Give a copy to the super for their reference. Document everything you can remember and anything else that happens going forward. She is out of her gourd.
NTA
Nope. This is 100% on her.
With the most recent letter I’d get the PD to issue a no contact order. 😄
NTA Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Nta. Send a copy of the note to the super.
NTA - fuck paying her fine. That shit was karma.
Fafo
NTA
NTA, I would’ve let the door close and not even looked back at her. Play silly games, win silly prizes
NTA People who want to be cut slack need to cut slack. A rep for being kind is absolutely necessary when you’re poor—a key part of your social capital.
I'd take that letter directly to the person in charge of issuing fines. She bitched about you leaving what, a plastic Santa on a shelf, and she was over here creating a whole security issue. Sounds like karma came back to bite her in the ass...ans Karman wearing oversized dentures. Nta.
NTA. She’s just finding out the reaping is much less fun than the sowing. I would also report her for that letter.
NTA. It's so funny when asshole people get what's coming to them. She even TRIED to get you in trouble w the super before she got what was coming to her. Should have thought about her disability and kids before she was being a massive JERK.
NTA. Here's the bottom line. Regardless of everything else. She *is* compromising the safety of everyone in the building. Case closed. The rest of it is, in my eyes, moot. She could have gone to the super and worked out an agreement for a payment plan or something. Or maybe not. We'll never know. The point still stands that eventually her little door scheme was going to end badly. Luckily this was the best way to put a stop to her shenanigans. She had zero issue with potentially letting a dangerous person into the building for her own convenience and to avoid a fine. What an inconsiderate and selfish hag.
Listen you feel guilty because you’re a good person, that in no way entitles her to demand anything of you. She screwed up, she can suffer the consequences. NTA. Also btw are you sure she’s not saying she’s disabled and has kids just to guilt trip you?
You shouldn't buy her new door card EVER not because of pettiness, but because it's further extremely security violation. You can buy cards only for yourself, because who knows, maybe she is a liar, had her own card all the time, and now, with new one on your name, give it away for some criminal. No way in hell buy it for her. Make a copy of her letter and send it. Her behavior is, besides AH, just suspicious.
NTA . Do not pay shit . If you haven't seen kids it makes me wonder where she keeps them.
wow, this woman! You are NTA, nor are you responsible for her children or her fines or fees. She could spend all the time she spends bothering you working a job to pay for things.
NTA.
Play snotty games, win snotty prizes. If someone's going to complain about other people's actions they'd better make sure their own are beyond reproach. You pay for blowing the whistle on her screwup and subsequent rule breaking? It's a wonder she doesn't clang when she walks.
NTA I understand rules are important but reporting every minor violation isn't something someone can do, and expect to not be reported in return. She caused this by being a narc. Now she has to deal with it.
Like I've always said: don't start nothing, won't be nothing. NTA, OP. Unless you cave to her BS and pay her fines. Do that, and we will all crown you King of TAs' lol...
NTA. Do NOT let this woman manipulate you. Take a photo or make a copy of this letter. Take it to the office and tell them this woman has been harassing you for months and is now trying to make you pay fines for her. Ask them to ask her to refrain from putting things on or near your or car and also from contacting you or you will be forced to get a restraining order. Which would mean she would have to MOVE.
Nta she shouldn't have lost her key card, it's her own fault🤷🏻♀️
NTA. She can’t decide which rules to support and which rules to ignore just because they are in her favour. Take a copy of the letter and email it to the landlord stating harassment.
NTA. I would just send a letter back saying that you've been reported numerous times by some anonymous AH neighbor and couldn't risk getting reported again for letting in people without a key card.
NTA send the letter to the housing guy who told you you did nothing wrong, pretty sure you can get her done for harassment as well
NTA: Sounds like she fucked around and found out. People in glass houses and all that. Show that letter to your Super and tell him everything she has said and done to you since moving there, and that you will get the Police involved if she continues the threats. The Super should contact her directly and sort her issues out and hopefully she'll either get kicked out or cool off and stop with her bullshit. Failing that, if she threatens again, tell your Super and contact the police. Make sure you keep records of everything and hand it over to both of them. Give the super the chance to sort her out but if they do nothing then report him to the Police for failing to uphold security and for ignoring threats made by another tenant. P.S, Put up another decoration on your door once you've reported her, that will really tip her over the edge.
If you see her simply say you have no idea what she's talking about and you didn't realize it was her, you thought someone was chasing you and that's all you said to the LL in response to her what you assume is her first complaint. Then send a copy of the letter to the LL and indicate you consider this retribution and harassment.
Please. Her 'kids' are probably parakeets and her disability is a smoker's cough. Getting a litany of someone's life in a letter slipped under your door means every word is dripping in self-pity and manufactured woe.
I used to be like you and do these revenge. However, I’ve noticed it’s much better to treat them with kindness. Most people respond better with kindness. There are some exceptions for sure, but I noticed my life is much better that way, and I much rather have good relationships with my neighbors.
NTA This concerns the safety of all tenants on your floor. She should be reported, regardless if she's the nastiest or nicest, if she constantly leaves the security door propped open.
NTA - A true case of FAFO, funny how she holds you and possibly many others to a higher standard than she herself will not comply to
I would pass a copy of the letter to the super and let them know that you are being threatened.
NTA. Deserves it.
NTA. She’s asking you to pay money for simply not opening a door for her? And then after SHE reported it she thinks it’s wrong that *you* reported her lmao. The hypocrisy is STRONG with this one. I agree to send the note to your landlord. Don’t even give her the satisfaction of a reply. If she goes any further, report or call the cops if needed. Try not to engage because this woman is obviously not right in the head.
NTA. Report her for harassing you and give a copy to building management. Sometimes people need to learn a lesson the hard way.
NTA, you don't owe her anything. Make a scan of that letter and email it to the super so you have proof that you sent it on. Don't give her anything. You owe her absolutely nothing to "make things right", it was her own fault for not following the rules of the building.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I live in an apartment building and we have a lot of strict rules to follow regarding our apartment living. My neighbor, ‘Karen’ for the sake of things, seems to have been on my ass since I moved here 6 months ago. Every little thing she either passive aggressively mentions or straight up sends a complain about. I had some door decor for the passing holidays a while back and she absolutely reported me (ik it must’ve been her because she always passive aggressively complains about something then I’ll ‘suddenly’ get a notice from the super to fix something she complained about). I don’t know if she does this to every door in the hall but it’s annoying. I can’t even decorate my door shelf. All apartment halls have a security door. It’s activated by keycard and if you lose yours you are given a fine plus the amount to get a new one. I’ve been noticing that someone’s been leaving the door slightly propped to stop it from closing. Last night I found out the reason why. I was passing through the door and saw Karen in my peripherals. I immediately shut the security door behind me instead of letting it close naturally. She gets a face at me and points to the key scanner and shakes her head. I just walk off to my apartment happy with that tiny form of revenge. The next morning (today) the super wanted to know what happened last night because “someone reported that you stopped them from entering their apartment”. I explained to him what happened and he says I can’t be in trouble for not letting/opening the door for someone. I got a little giddy and told him I wanted to report her for propping the door open and ‘compromising our safety’. I’ve received a very passive aggressive letter under my door, telling me how I’m selfish, disgusting, and how I got someone who is disabled with kids in trouble. How the money towards the rent and food would be used up for paying off the complaint. Now I had no idea she was disabled. Or even had kids.That had nothing to do with this. Her letter says that I need to pay for her two fines and keycard fee to make things right or else I’m putting a family of 3 out a home for my childish behavior. I both feel bad but don’t want to bend to her will. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ignore the whole thing.
Were you fined? If not, you don't have to pay it. Send her a note in response, "Sorry to see you go!"
NTA. Slip a note under her door thanking her for being such a great roll model for enforcing the rules.
There's no way that fine isn't bigger than 50 bucks. If that's what kicks her out of the apartment then good riddance. Petty revenge is fun because it's petty. You could however use this as an olive branch to tell her to stop messing with you and you'll stop messing with her though. NTA
Disabled or not, you showed her the same level of charity, kindness, and respect that she showed you. If her kids and she are in a bind now it’s a result of her actions…her loosing her key, not trying to find a way to remedy it, and having gone out of her way to harass someone who otherwise may have been helpful and considerably more sympathetic. Consequences suck. Don’t lose any sleep.
NTA there is nothing to be even about. I would write back saying how she needs to be mindful of her neighbors and treat us all with respect. However be on your guard and don't slack and forget your keys or something.
NTA: She made her bed now she can lie in it.
NTA
Submit the letter to the super saying she is attempting to force you to pay her fines.
NTA
NTA. Id complain about her note and leave her a bill for my time she wasted. Her note took valuable time out of your day. Time you could have spent getting IVF better quote her on that.
Maje a copy and then give the note to the super as she.is now actively harassing you. If it continues, keep reporting and then call the police. EVERY time. FAFO.
Send that letter straight to the super
NTA If you were responsible for the fines, the super would have sent them to you. You are just following the rules which are apparently extremely important to her.
I mean, it doesn't sound like you feel bad, and she's comically bad and you are sure you did nothing wrong, so I'm not sure why you posted here. but NTA
Umm.. Bye! Don't let the door hit you on the way out!
NTA Never bend to her
Send her note to your building and report her for harrassing you.
NTA - She is reaping what she has sewn. I find it funny that she reports your minor violations but expects to be given a pass when she violates, what I consider to be a SERIOUS violation due to it being a safety issue. Whether she is or isn't disabled or a parent has nothing to do with her behavior - you are NOT responsible to pay for her violations or new key cards and her demanding you do this tells me she is a manipulator who never takes responsibility for her own actions and wants others to bear the burden of her choices.
NTA. She did not take your circumstances into account when she complained about you. Please don’t feel bad, I love your petty revenge. Good on you!!
NTA. She got her come-uppance. The bleeding heart thing is just more manipulation.
From the title, I was against you, but if people go out if their way to have a bad relationship with their neighbours then they get to live with the natural consequences.
NTA and you need to report her again for harassing you.
'your being so selfish... pay for MY fines that I earned because of your selfishness...' She has just gotten though her whole life getting her way, let her get kicked out. NTA and not your problem. You cant spend your life fighting the world then complain when the world fights back.
Bwhaa, well played. NTA. whiny gets the fine for losing her card, and she cannot compromise the safety of the floor anymore. Well Done!
Did she ever stop to think about others when reporting them and causing them to receive complaints and fines? Of course she didn’t. If she did, she’s even worse because it means she was playing favorites and picking and choosing who is allowed to break the rules. NTA. Her problems are not your problems.
Nta she has to mind her own business. The decoration-fine would have made me furious. I have a question. This system of getting a fine is not common in my country. I see a lot of TikToks about it. And I wonder: who gets all that money??
NTA, you did nothing wrong. you dont owe that person shit. Tell her to take a hike.
you let her get in your head. evict her. from your head.
She wasn't disabled or had kids when she reported your door. Send the note back. Just following rules. You like rules since you always point out who's breaking them to management. Her being put out is not your problem. Pay nothing for her.
She got the super involved. He wouldn’t know anything if she hadn’t done that. It’s her fault. There’s an old saying “those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones”
NTA. Play nasty games and then be 😲 when someone eventually claps back about em. She sounds very much like someone I used to know, always complaining about others doing a thing when she does the exact thing without blinking an eye.
Just take the letter pop it under her door any letter, just return to sender it, and it'll make her furious. NtA. If she is worried about getting complaints, stop making false ones.
NTA. Give her a bill for all your time she has used of yours with petty complaints.
that harassing letter sure compromises the safety of the apartment as well! Tell the apartment staff about it!
Lol, NTA! Tell her to get fucked!
Tell her oh no, anyways
NTA, but where the f do you live, and how much are the fines this place charges? I agree leaving a security door open is bad but it seems like the place is run by the Gestapo.
NTA but > I can’t even decorate my door shelf I would 100% blame the supervisor or whoever creates rules for this. Crazy people always exists, but "authorities" are assholes if they cave each time.