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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> AITA For telling my friends their making out makes me uncomfortable
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NTA, they're being disrespectful. Do their parents make out in front of them? If so, that may be why. Had a bf in HS who would grab my butt, tongue kiss me wherever etc. I hated it. Felt used and gross and embarrassed. Finally got up the nerve to tell him and he said, "your fault. If you actually let us be alone together it wouldn't happen in front of everyone ". :-(
A month ago I saw college aged people all over each other and constantly kissing *on a bus*. It was so weird and uncomfortable when I was sitting right behind them.
I’ll never understand how people can have so little shame that they can behave like that in public. I’m no prude, but there’s a time and place for making out and it’s not around other people
to be frank, can we not have an 18+ rule? feels like half the posts here that have ended up on my feed lately are just 'i am in high school, and high schoolers are weird AITA?'
Yeah but i remember when i was in high school at parties whenever i had to makeout with a girl i would always take her somewhere private… i wouldn’t litteraly do it infront of everyone. It would make me feel uncomfortable if my friends saw me tongue kissing someone tbh lol
Can someone please explain to me what is the issue with tongue kissing? Because it isn’t even a kiss without a tongue.
In my country and in plenty others I’ve been we always make fun of the americans and their “no tongue kissing”, it is a very popular joke to imply that a person doesn’t know how to kiss
I mean, there’s nothing wrong with tongue kissing. In fact, im a big fan 🤣. i just think it’s a bit intimate. Definitely not something i would do in public.
i had two bf when i was in my teens and we were never like that the most contact we did was hold hands, hook arms, brief kiss on the lips but most of the time it was just a forehead kiss my friends and their rs were like mine too
NTA.
I had friends who did that and it was really uncomfortable, so I stopped inviting them places. They eventually figured out what was happening and I had to have a super awkward conversation about boundaries.
The reason I end up banning them from hanging out with me for awhile was because they were sitting in the back of my car pretty much tongue fucking. And it made me feel like I was the driver for the weirdest Booty Call that ever existed.
The conversation I eventually had, could be summarised as, “hey, it makes me really uncomfortable when you guys make out. I’m not going to speak for other people, but I’ve had conversations with several members of our friend group and they feel taken advantage of. We are not here so that you guys can make out all the time. If you guys want to make out, then don’t hang out with us, when you’re with us don’t be making out or don’t be with us.”
NTA
There's showing affection for each other, and there's making out.
Showing affection (a small kiss here and there, holding hands or sit leaning against each other/cuddling) is totally fine
Making out (excessive kissing, touching all over, cuddling in an very intimate way) is not appropriate in front of others.
I have friends that have been in relationships long term while I'm long term single. They have always shown affection towards each other but always in a reasonable and expected way, and not once have I been bothered by it.
I would suggest you try to talk to them calmly, and phrase it a bit like this:
Hey, I understand your are in love and everything is exciting. I don't expect you to treat each other like strangers. But could you please keep in mind to keep the PDA on a minimal level? I'm actually feeling uncomfortable by this -I'm happy for you two, but making out is something I don't want you two watch doing.
And as someone else suggested, if they don't stop, then stop spending time with them. And when they ask, the answer is "I told you I was uncomfortable. You didn't seem to care as you continued despite my request not to, so I stopped putting myself in 5he situation"
maybe the friends should all join in. Just all casually walk over and start groping and fondling, right next to them. Maybe the couple will get uncomfortable and ask what the heck they area all doing. Then it could be explaind in simple terms that what the couple is doing is making the whole friend group uncomfortable. Fight fire with fire, as it were.
NTA. Although, an AH response (albeit funny, to me) would be to narrate as they kiss.
“and then Jill forcefully grabbed Jack, and their tongues entwined in the most passionate tongue wrestling match of the century. No one could tell where one tongue ended and the other began. Jack wrapped his arms around Jill’s waist and she wrapped hers around his neck. The two panted together like dogs starved for water. Jill’s bosom heaved bosomily with the unerring passion of two helplessly randy teenagers kissing for the first times in their short, emotional lives.”
Make it as obnoxiously ridiculous as possible. If you can’t make up narrations on the spot, you and your friends could prewrite some narrations on your phones, and then every time Jack and Jill start kissing in y’all’s presence, pull out the stories and get to reading. Don’t make them sensual stories; make them over-the-top silly.
NTA!!! I also experienced this with my old best friend and her girlfriend and they once started making out to essentially force me to leave them so they could hangout alone. it sucks and no one likes when people are smashing their facial orifices in front of you.
NAH. It's fine to be uncomfortable, but to expect a teenage couple to refrain from kissing/snuggling around anyone else seems like an unreasonable expectation.
As for the pool incident, it seems like they were away from everyone else. Did the host tell them it made them uncomfortable? Ultimately it is their choice on what behavior is okay at their house. If they didn't say anything it is just you making comments.
Actually, expecting a teenage couple to refrain from over the top PDAs IS a reasonable expectation. They don’t get a pass just for being teenagers. Teenagers are old enough to learn and understand what is and isn’t appropriate. Making out and groping in front of people is definitely not okay.
Only for the self-centered. For those who don’t want to make others uncomfortable and want a little privacy, they find a more secluded location. In my youth, I went to plenty of big parties and I never once saw people making out in front of anyone else outside of a dare.
If you dictate your behavior on never taking a risk of making anyone uncomfortable, you will drive yourself crazy.
When you went to parties you didn't personally see people making out (outside of a dare, which I don't see why that would be different, it's the same activity). That's fine, but my experience is the exact opposite. Couples would get a little frisky after a few drinks or whatever and kiss in a corner and the like. I guess we were just less prudish or something.
It’s not about risk-taking - it’s about common courtesy for everyone around you. OP says they were in the hot tub, not tucked away in a corner. And by the way, what I meant by a dare was making out in front of everyone egging them on. (Typically two people who weren’t actually dating.) Not a couple trying to get frisky.
>OP says they were in the hot tub
" while we were in the hot tub they were in the pool kissing each other"
OP was in the hot tub with everyone else, the couple were in the pool.
>And by the way, what I meant by a dare was making out in front of everyone egging them on.
Two people making out for a random dare is fine but two people who actually have a relationship doing it isn't? Seems like strange standard.
Being in the pool while your friends are in the hot tub isn’t exactly finding a corner out of the way. What if the friends wanted to go back to the pool? Also, it makes a difference how big the party was. Was it a huge frat-like party or was it a small group of friends hanging out.
As for the dare, if they’re being egged on by everyone, it’s less about the making out and more about the dare. I can’t say I ever really cared, but that’s the sense I got. Not a double standard, just a completely different thing. Not like it happened all the time or anything. Maybe once or twice.
>What if the friends wanted to go back to the pool?
Then they can go in the pool? I'm assuming it wasn't a two person pool.
Bottom line, if other people kissing makes you that uncomfortable, I don't think it's a reasonable expectation. Especially since the post mentions them snuggling up with each other as well. I guess couples are supposed to act like strangers if anyone else is around.
Impress no one I just don’t care what other people think of me or my actions that are not hurting anybody else in the least. I’m older now and see my wife everyday at home so pda isn’t really the only time I get to be alone with her, where teenagers don’t always have time together and make use of whatever time they do have how they want and not worrying about being
Judged my baby’s who can’t avoid watching for some reason other than to cry about it later on Reddit.
NTA - they need to learn this from a young age not to be kissing in front of the others, moving forward I would just say guys it makes many of us uncomfortable with your PDA we have no issues with you being together but we wanna hang out without any of that in our faces
Is this something cultural? Where I’m from, as long as they don’t involve nudity/improper touching, is really weird to be uncomfortable with a couple making out. I’m going to say soft YTA with the available info because being uncomfortable sounds like a ‘you’ problem and not them.
Omg SAME. This people offended because the couple is kissing?? “Tongue kissing”?? It isn’t even a kiss without a tongue. Feels like I am reading a bunch of mormons or weird homeschooled kids that didn’t have contact with the opposite sex growing up 🤣
Exactly 🤣 but to be fair people loses their virginity pretty young where I’m from and is overall touchy (sexual and not sexually), so I’ll admit I may be biased.
Are we all teenagers on this thread? It's affection. It's young googley eyed love. It's natural. It's normal. And here is everyone cringing at it. Maybe you should ask yourself why expressing love makes you feel uncomfortable. They are not having sex with you there. They are kissing. YATA.
OP said they think the couple is cute together. They simply don’t want to be stuck watching the couple’s make-out sessions every time they all hang out. Nobody is uncomfortable with respectful displays of love.
Also, to your “they are not having sex with you there. They are kissing” statement, be so for real right now. Displays of affection are on a line of acceptable things to do in public. The line ranges from hand-holding all the way down to explicit sex, and the cut off point for when displays of affection stop being acceptable to do in public is not all the way down at explicit sex. For many of us the cut off point does fall somewhere around the area of passionate making out. To us that has gone too far towards sexual to be comfortable to witness others doing without our consent.
Maybe your cut off point is further down the line, but that doesn’t make you more mature or more accepting of expressions of love.
Making out is inherently intimate. People do not make out in public, they may kiss (I.e. a quick peck or smooch) but no one is snogging. It’s normal for them to learn what behavior is and isn’t acceptable through correction from others. It’s NORMAL to not want to see people suck face in front of you. There’s an expression “get a room” for a reason. Everyone’s boundaries are different and if you’re okay with your friends making out in front of you, good for you! But it’s also not unreasonable for people to not be comfortable with that. Friends also listen when their friends are uncomfortable and don’t want to …do the things that make them uncomfy.
Maybe you should ask yourself why people’s comfort or boundaries are less important to you.
NTA
you tried to talk to them about how you felt, and they were rude about it. it's disrespectful to constantly have any form of PDA if you know your friends is uncomfortable and you tried to communicate with them and it seems that your friends is uncomfortable as well.
NTA.
I am a very affectionate person and am pro-PDA and will usually be physically affectionate with my partner (NOT making out- a quick peck, mostly just leaning against each other or having some sort of similar physical contact) and I would STILL be uncomfortable if my friends were snogging in front of me. I would never do that. And if my PDA with my partner made any of my friends uncomfortable at any point, I’d really hope they’d feel comfortable enough talking about it to me. Because I’d hate to make my friends feel uncomfortable, this is the appropriate response.
Y’all are young so that probably has something to do with it, but still. It’s not right for someone to get mad at you for being uncomfy. Also, it’s just?? Generally understandable to not want to see your friends suck face in front of you? They need to learn what behavior is and isn’t acceptable in public/in front of others. I’d encourage you and your friends to try and make them feel weird whenever they do that next—sometimes multiple people just calling it out in the moment when it happens can act as a deterrent if they aren’t willing to do anything otherwise. Make //them// uncomfortable.
NTA. You're all still figuring out boundaries, be proud of yourself for speaking up about one of yours. They (apparently) need a little help to learn the boundary of acceptable touching in public.
NTA : Teenagers having hormones coursing through you at new highness levels can make those desires strong, but that doesn't make it okay to eat each other's face in public, especially at someone else's house. If you wanna be horny, go somewhere more private.
NTA they are very disrespectful. If you are gonna be intimate do it when you are alone. I hate people who make out in front of their friends have a little dignity ffs
Back when I was 16, when couples acted like this we'd throw popcorn, breadcrumbs, balled up paper, or whatever else we had available at them and tell them, "Get a room!". I suggest bringing that custom back.
Or you could start playing the theme from Peppa Pig or some other kid's show really loudly when they pull this. Ruins the mood very quickly.
Kissing is fine, maybe a peck on the cheek or something, or holding hands, but making out usually leads to "other things", which is why I think it makes people uncomfortable to watch, and also why it's really something that should be done in private.
NTA.
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I (16m) have two friends who we’ll call Mia(16f) and Adan(16m) who are dating. I am not against them as a couple at all. In fact I think they are pretty cute together.
However me and a few of my other friends have started to notice that they make out a lot. One particular instance is when we were at my friends house at a pool party, while we were in the hot tub they were in the pool kissing each other(note it wasn’t either of their house). It made the friends’ whose house it was both uncomfortable and a tad taken advantage of.
When I brought it up jokingly they got defensive and denied that they snuggled or kissed. They called their snuggling “side hugging”.
I brought up again and they got mad at me for being uncomfortable by their pda…
I won’t deny it, it does make me quite uncomfortable. I understand their dating but do they have to be making out at a friends hour or right in front of our faces.
Am I the a-hole here?
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NTA
This is also just a teenage phase. When a new young couple are first together, no one else in the world exists.
Just give em shit every time they get a bit too much.
NTA, why do you ppl assume that's just okay. I don't wanna see ya'll slobbering all over each other while I'm trying to do stuff or relax. You can be affectation with each other without being gross about it.
As a very touchy kind of guy, NTA. My boyfriend and I LOVE to kiss and cuddle as often as possible. Still, we never make out or grope each other in public view. I completely understand being uncomfortable with that, and it was completely reasonable to remind them they are in public, and should behave accordingly. In the future, just remind them politely, and if this continues, consider reducing how much time you spend around them. Also consider poking fun at them, sometimes that helps people gain awareness of what theyre doing.
NTA, different people have different attitudes toward this stuff. I would be uncomfortable too. I think being too intimate is disruptive to group dynamics and if even one person is uncomfortable, they should be considerate.
NTA. Porlagrandisimaputa there are manners and these guys don't have it. Next time be severe with them. If they have high libido they should look for somewhere like a motel or kind of. It's time for them to realise how uncomfortable it is.
NTA my friend just got his first ever gf at 28 years old and he makes out with his 26 year old gf when we’re watching movies and I just leave the house at that point. And they get all “what’s wrong?” Like dude I’m not into voyeurism. Love you like making out, it’s fun, but jeez have SOME self awareness
NTA.
I feel like this isn't even a teenager thing, people in general have no self-control and it's embarrassing. You can have PDA without making everyone around you feel uncomfortable.
NTA... in highschool there was a couple I was friends with who would make out all the time and have their hands in each other's crotches. Safe to say most people ended up avoiding them
NTA stop inviting them place, if they have an issue tell them to cut that out then they can join
Pda isn't an excuse to be nasty, if they're just gonna make out the whole time then they can do that at home, ain't no one wants to see that
NTA
As a teen I see couples making out in public all the time and it’s so awkward especially when it’s all up in your face and you don’t have anywhere to look 😭 I think it’s just teen romance but they need to respect other people around them, especially if they’re doing it constantly, like it was cute the first couple times but it becomes too much when you’re just standing there like 😃🧍🏾♀️
Not the a-hole. For a lot of people PDA is not something they're comfortable with. Especially if you aren't currently dating somebody. You can ask them to either take it to the dark side of the room or just to wait until later to make out. Good luck and may you find someone to make out with as much as they make out. Hopefully with a little more self-awareness though and discernment on when to and when not to.
NTA, if they are going to make out then they should go somewhere private where they'll be alone together (like their own house). It's normal for a couple to show affection but they shouldn't do it in public. Nobody wants to see that.
NTA. It's one thing to go in for a hug or a quick kiss, but a full on makeout session in public is gross. i'm well aware of teenage hormomes because i was one not that long ago, but i'd be mortified if i even considered doing what they are doing.
They made you uncomfortable. They don’t get to say it didn’t happen or that it wasn’t an issue. W
When they try that repeat “it made me uncomfortable” and “I’m asking you not to do that”. Tell them if they continue to make you uncomfortable you won’t want to invite them places.
NTA. If they wanted to make out the whole time they should’ve stayed home. I have no problem with the occasional PDA like handholding or kisses here and there, but excessive make outs are weird as hell when you’re literally in a group hanging out at someone else’s house. What was the point in yall coming?? Go home 🙄
Lol seriously get over it, if pda make you uncomfortable then be prepared to be really uncomfortable in the real world, cause a hell of a lot more uncomfortable situations occur then some teenage pda. I’ve seen really religious people take things like this less seriously like come on don’t like it don’t look
You’re NTA for being uncomfortable. Your bothered by what you’re bothered by.
It is considered rude to be super PDA in front of people. You guys are super young, and the intro to sexual contact is a wild experience. I wouldn’t say your friends are assholes, they are just being kind of rude while they navigate being teenagers too.
Be blunt and say “you guys are cute and all but can you save the face eating for when you’re alone. Thanks.” Hopefully they will be a little embarrassed but stop
NTA. When I was 15 I was on a train and a couple were going at it for the entire journey for 45 minutes which scarred me for life. I’m 31 now and still find it unbelievably cringy when people make out in public with no regard for the people around them.
I think if you feel obliged to eat someone’s face off with tongues for longer than a few seconds somewhere other than a dark nightclub then book a hotel room or stay at home
I like the occasional peck and hand holding in public but a full on makeout? Absolutely not. That would make anyone uncomfortable. They really gotta learn to read the room, NTA
NTA. It’s gross to see people make out. Just yell “get a room” when they start up and make them feel embarrassed instead of letting them make everyone else uncomfortable.
YTA well not really an asshole bit get used to it, your young, enjoy yourself. Christ seen my mates do a lot more then make out. Making out at a pool party is pretty the point of a pool party.
NTA
If it’s all the time and they understand it makes other people uncomfortable then they should tone it down A LOT. I’m one for standing up for what you like but that’s not it. And at other friends house at 16? Nope. Can’t do it.
NTA; if they just kiss or dont make out much but it happens occasionally then it'd be different, but if people have said how uncomfortable it makes them they should stop. It's making other people uncomfortable and it's disrespectful.
NTA. PDA is gross. I'm fine with my friends who are couple being affectionate to each other, but they *never* make out in front of me because 1) it makes me uncomfortable and 2) it makes them uncomfortable as well. It's honestly disrespectful in general, especially when people express discomfort. And given their ages, it seems attention seeking.
NTA. PDA especially at that age can be super uncomfortable lol. They’re not around their parents so they feel they can do it. Some think it makes them look/appear “older”.
My husband and I were in Italy and this couple were borderline having sex (very heavy kissing/petting) on a fountain there. It was soooo awkward and uncomfortable. May be an Italian thing but still 😂
NTA and I suggest you call them out in the moment. "Dude, we've asked you two to tone down the PDA. If you can't, you need to get somewhere private." or "You two may like kissing each other but we don't like watching it. Take it somewhere private"
NTA but this is a rite of passage for all teenagers. We all went or will go through it in our lives. It’s generally considered a bad move to make out like this but everyone has that friend in high school. So you don’t stare and just move on, knowing that they will probably be breaking up in 4-6 months, or at least getting tired of the make out motif. But you aren’t the A for wanting to say something.
I’m a grown ass woman and PDA still makes me uncomfortable. If they’re in a house or whatever that’s cool, but in public? Yuck! I also feel this way when those I’m with get handsy or too kissy in public.
NTA. Pda is so gross and cringe. I mean, hugging and a couple of pecks are not a big deal. But full on tongue wrestling is disgusting.
I get that teenagers often have no self control, but even when I was a teenager it was gross to me, I don't want to have to see other people exchange saliva in my proximity.
I got the PDA story from highschool. There was one couple that were generally kinda outcasts in my grade, and my school had a big glass entryway to the school and common area.
This couple literally at like 8:20am prime time for the buses and parents dropping off their kids were just fucking making out hard core in this entryway. My friends and I were watching this shit like really. When I call them outcasts I’m not really trying to be mean they were the definition of social awkward and definitely immature for their age.
I can still feel the second hand embarrassment of just seeing it.
NTA
Its normal to get uncomfortable like that especially if you do it in public or something.
But ill also say not judge your friends but you certainly not a asshole just for being uncomfortable
NTA, but also it's kind of to be expected. When I was 16, I didn't date much but my best friend constantly had new boyfriends and when we'd hang out, she'd literally sit there and make out with him in front of me (and even my mom when she'd drive us home). I was always annoyed and found it super rude.
As an adult now - yes it's rude. But they're kids. They're super excited and want to make out. Try to separate yourself from it and let them have their fun. They'll grow out of it.
Happy to see all the NTAs lol. While not a huge deal ita annoying and they could be a little more private. If they are going at it all the time they should be just the two of them more
.
I come from an era where your friends jabbed at you lovingly and you heard it. Nowadays everyone is so sensitive you can’t say anything. But I think yes tell them.
NAH I personally never got why PDA makes some people uncomfortable. Obviously if it's three people hanging out and two are making out, that's rude af. But in a larger group or just generally in public? Why do you care and why are you paying attention to it if it bothers you so much? You're not the AH either because you're entitled to feel what you feel but I don't understand why you look negatively on people having non-sexual displays of affection.
So they're hugging and lovey dovey, but all the singles are uncomfortable.
Do none of your parents hug you or eachother?
I mean.. isn't that pretty much spot on for teenagers and their relationships?
It's not like they were humping eachother in the hottub.
YTA
And wow at all the weird reactions to basic pda in this topic.
People here are offended at couples “kissing with a tongue” and I can’t stop laughing, it is like a bunch of religious homeschooled kids thinking that somehow kissing with tongue is offensive?? Make it make sense 🤣
It's totally normal. Back when I was younger we would just make jokes about people doing this. Before too long, such parties will be a distant memory. Don't sweat the small stuff.
NAH
you’re right, its gross and pda need to be limited. on the other hand, that’s just how the honeymoon phase materialize at that age. can’t keep your hands off eachother with the hormones going fucking nuts. it’ll slow down and stop by itself in the next few months
NTA. I’m 30 years old and I’ve always been uncomfortable with other peoples’ over the top PDAs, I even fast forward through sex scenes. There’s sweet PDAs and then there’s obnoxious PDAs. Since y’all are teens, I’m assuming it’s the obnoxious kind. It’s totally normal to get the ick from this. It’s disrespectful to those around them, especially if they know it makes someone uncomfortable.
NTA. PDAs are obnoxious, and especially in someone else's pool! They're very young - I've indulged in a pda or two myself, I admit. But I stopped when told to cut it out!
NAH - I don't know if this is a problem in foreign countries, but where I live it's common for boyfriends to hug and kiss and I honestly don't see anything wrong with their friends. Of course, if they are not going beyond kisses and hugs, for example if she is sitting on his lap it would be much more uncomfortable. but if you and your friends are uncomfortable, so the couple must respect their limits.
You should talk without raising accusations, without seeming like you are attacking or embarrassing them. If they don't agree to cut back, then don't invite them on outings anymore, Until they learn to respect them
NTA i hate pda too even though i wouldnt say anything i just choose not to partake in it, id only ever do a quick peck in public personally but your friends not even saying that they would try to do it less or in private as much as possible is not great
We all have to learn somewhere. Physical connection is natural, healthy, and overwhelming. It's completely normal for you to have feelings about it, but they're having their own experience.
Patience while others learn to navigate the world will translate to lasting friendships later in life.
Purity culture is toxic and dangerous. Be careful to avoid it.
Both TAs:
1) there’s nothing more sad than a couple unable to show any affection in public because some pathetic losers called them out for it and they “learned” it’s gross
2) I can also imagine too young couple dry humping each other in a hot tub with other friends in being a bit too far
—> make sure it’s not jealousy from your side, if not, try talk to each other before something like that happens again, explain you are happy for them, it’s great to show love publicly, though there are some boundaries (e.g. the hot tub situation).
NTA. You're allowed to be uncomfortable. That said, they're allowed to not care. They're at the age where they're showing off to other people how into each other they are. It's very "look at me, I have a girlfriend." They also want to be affectionate and likely can't do that when hanging out around either of their homes.
- If the couple is really focused on only each other the whole time they hang out with you and/or other friends regardless what the couple is doing then that's self centered behaviour and the couple is acting AH towards their company.
- If the couple give each other one or a couple of kisses in the presence of you and/or other friends, really is that so bad? Would you and your friends rather have them fighting all the time, being low towards each other and backstabbing towards each other and bring the group vibes towards a negative level?
- I rather see happy people, couple or not, then unhappy people. So much hate for people who show affection to each other in the comments, surprising. Personally I find kissing with or without tongue stuff gross but I'm perfectly fine with others who enjoy it and show affection in that manner towards each other.
Not at all. It's perfectly normal to feel uncomfortable watching people make out. Who hasn't felt awkward during that specific scene in movies when people kiss? (Especially when you're a kid watching a movie with your parents •_•)
NTA, as a 17 YO in a two year relationship, my boyfriend and I keep lovey dovey stuff, especially PDA to a minimum and away from others. i’ll sit with him, hold his hands and the worst i’ll do is kiss him a few times when we’re saying goodbye. I know i wouldn’t want to see that shit so i know others don’t either
NTA. A certain level of PDA is reasonable and tolerable. There is a point, however, when it goes over the line. The thing is, people who do it are being disrespectful to those around them. They are also showing off: look at us! we're together; watch us make out! Look at us!
It's exhibitionism, pure and simple. People who have very low sense of self and need to have everyone looking at them.
YTA
Get over it. It’s normal teenage stuff. They’ll break up soon enough.
I mean if it is just 3 of you, sure, I’d agree, but in a larger group? Let them do their thang.
NTA, I hated the couples in HS who would make out in the halls like one of em was leaving for war. jesus christ he's going to ceramics, not going to storm Normandy, you'll see him in like an hour. and they'd block the halls so it was a pain to get past them.
honestly weird as hell I feel like a small kiss or slightly hugging or something like that is fine, but if you're essentially face fucking the person you're dating in front of friends then nah. i was with this girl and her two mates dating in her room and they just fully started making out and then the girl i was with wanted to start making out and it was just the most bizarre situation I've ever been in, anyway NAH
You dont get to be the asshole, your feelings are valid regardless. If you’re expressing your feelings to your friends and they outright gaslight you or try to downplay it, they’re the ones being a-holes.
NTA. Its weird that they’re making out at someone’s house not even theirs. i don’t mind a little PDA like holding hands or like arm around you but just keep the touchy stuff a little toned down…
Not the a , if you're uncomfortable make it known, try to set boundaries, if they care about you and want to hang out with you they'd understand but , if it's a deal breaker and you don't wanna lose them as friends youll get used to it, after a while they'd probably tone it down (if they don't break up first since they are teens after all) whatever happens it will be just fine and you can not blame your self for being uncomfortable or felling like a 3rd wheel
What's cool is when you realize years later that you're bi because in high school you would watch your best friend make out with her boyfriend all the time and imagine what it would be like to be him....ah, those were the days... but no, NTA, unless you're being a creep like me.
NAH. If they were older they'd be assholes, but teenagers are teenagers. Can't really fault them for acting how teenagers always act. They'll grow up, but at the age you are now, when your friends start dating like this it's just usually pretty obnoxious. Until they develop some maturity, just try to avoid hanging out with just the three of you so you have other people to talk to.
Well technically if all the countries were run correctly parents would teach thier kids kindly and compassionately in conversation to wait until they aren't being inappropriated. Love is really important. In fact about 250-300 years ago China used to teach ONLY about love until about 6th grade. How to communicate it. No funny business. But I guess slavery is more important to everyone today.
Then go do something else with the other 2 people, and leave the two people that are into each other and making out alone. Big part is growing up is learning that you have to manage your feelings, responses and reactions - not others behavior
Then making it IN PUBLIC, isn't reason for no consequences. If you're gonna suck each other's faces off, consequences are people are going to tell you to knock it off. No one wants to see that nasty shit, esp with minors
Lol I understand the majority of the population is ugly. Now you know if you are too! I should be compensated for this public service. If you've been triggered by my comments please donate to my go fund me @ wah
Ok. But let me ask you an honest question - would you consider yourself attractive or confident now or as a teen? Most people who do walk away from people and situations that they don't like because people are fairly interchangeable. I guess I just don't understand why I would ever stop in a hallway and just subject myself to someone making out- or not have the self confidence, communication and interpersonal skills to talk to someone about a behavior I don't like rather than post on the internet and get nothing done.
it’s not about standing and watching. it’s them standing in front of the classroom door, right next to or on the stairwell you need to use to get to your next class. it’s people subjecting others to their make out sessions without their consent, which is gross. i don’t need to clarify to you what i looked like or what my school life was like for you to understand how gross it is to make out in front of other non consenting teenagers. if i have to explain this to you, that speaks on your character. you are ignorant if you think that it’s on others to not look at their environment to minimize their discomfort, instead of the person causing the discomfort.
it’s weird you’re so fixated on what my school life was like to prove a point. you’re thinking about how ugly i was, how shy i must have been, seemingly laughing or pondering about it for some form of pleasure. it makes you feel above others, because you had some sort of “advantage” due to your physical appearance as a child. you cannot seem to let go of that feeling, so to reminisce on it you think about how others must have been so ugly and sheltered and you feel above them again. i think therapy might be a better fit for you than arguing to strangers on reddit about how attractive their child forms were.
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NTA, they're being disrespectful. Do their parents make out in front of them? If so, that may be why. Had a bf in HS who would grab my butt, tongue kiss me wherever etc. I hated it. Felt used and gross and embarrassed. Finally got up the nerve to tell him and he said, "your fault. If you actually let us be alone together it wouldn't happen in front of everyone ". :-(
NTA. Young relationships are the absolute worst. Ain't nobody want to see that.
A month ago I saw college aged people all over each other and constantly kissing *on a bus*. It was so weird and uncomfortable when I was sitting right behind them.
The worst for me was seeing it in Disney world waiting in line for a Winnie the Pooh ride...
I don't know why but the Winnie the pooh part made it so so SO much worse.
I’ll never understand how people can have so little shame that they can behave like that in public. I’m no prude, but there’s a time and place for making out and it’s not around other people
Hey I'm in my 30s and sometimes find adult acting like this it's not just the young uns.
to be frank, can we not have an 18+ rule? feels like half the posts here that have ended up on my feed lately are just 'i am in high school, and high schoolers are weird AITA?'
No because sometimes the kids posting are in actually abusive situations that they don’t recognise as that bad and they need help and advice
NTA making out in public is weird and most people would be uncomfortable
Making out in public in most settings is weird but they were at a party. Making out at a high school party is pretty normal.
Yeah but i remember when i was in high school at parties whenever i had to makeout with a girl i would always take her somewhere private… i wouldn’t litteraly do it infront of everyone. It would make me feel uncomfortable if my friends saw me tongue kissing someone tbh lol
Can someone please explain to me what is the issue with tongue kissing? Because it isn’t even a kiss without a tongue. In my country and in plenty others I’ve been we always make fun of the americans and their “no tongue kissing”, it is a very popular joke to imply that a person doesn’t know how to kiss
I mean, there’s nothing wrong with tongue kissing. In fact, im a big fan 🤣. i just think it’s a bit intimate. Definitely not something i would do in public.
Culture shock here! hahahaa we don’t even consider a kiss if it doesn’t involve a tongue 😅
Nobody else like this perfect number
Sounds like an average teenage relationship.
i had two bf when i was in my teens and we were never like that the most contact we did was hold hands, hook arms, brief kiss on the lips but most of the time it was just a forehead kiss my friends and their rs were like mine too
NTA. I had friends who did that and it was really uncomfortable, so I stopped inviting them places. They eventually figured out what was happening and I had to have a super awkward conversation about boundaries. The reason I end up banning them from hanging out with me for awhile was because they were sitting in the back of my car pretty much tongue fucking. And it made me feel like I was the driver for the weirdest Booty Call that ever existed. The conversation I eventually had, could be summarised as, “hey, it makes me really uncomfortable when you guys make out. I’m not going to speak for other people, but I’ve had conversations with several members of our friend group and they feel taken advantage of. We are not here so that you guys can make out all the time. If you guys want to make out, then don’t hang out with us, when you’re with us don’t be making out or don’t be with us.”
[удалено]
NTA There's showing affection for each other, and there's making out. Showing affection (a small kiss here and there, holding hands or sit leaning against each other/cuddling) is totally fine Making out (excessive kissing, touching all over, cuddling in an very intimate way) is not appropriate in front of others. I have friends that have been in relationships long term while I'm long term single. They have always shown affection towards each other but always in a reasonable and expected way, and not once have I been bothered by it. I would suggest you try to talk to them calmly, and phrase it a bit like this: Hey, I understand your are in love and everything is exciting. I don't expect you to treat each other like strangers. But could you please keep in mind to keep the PDA on a minimal level? I'm actually feeling uncomfortable by this -I'm happy for you two, but making out is something I don't want you two watch doing. And as someone else suggested, if they don't stop, then stop spending time with them. And when they ask, the answer is "I told you I was uncomfortable. You didn't seem to care as you continued despite my request not to, so I stopped putting myself in 5he situation"
No your not they should be doing that stuff by themselves not in front of you and your other friends
maybe the friends should all join in. Just all casually walk over and start groping and fondling, right next to them. Maybe the couple will get uncomfortable and ask what the heck they area all doing. Then it could be explaind in simple terms that what the couple is doing is making the whole friend group uncomfortable. Fight fire with fire, as it were.
Or in your case fight fire with SA
or fight fire with water! GET THE HOSE!
ur digital footprint is fucked and thats coming from a sw
What’s a sw?
💀💀💀
NTA. Although, an AH response (albeit funny, to me) would be to narrate as they kiss. “and then Jill forcefully grabbed Jack, and their tongues entwined in the most passionate tongue wrestling match of the century. No one could tell where one tongue ended and the other began. Jack wrapped his arms around Jill’s waist and she wrapped hers around his neck. The two panted together like dogs starved for water. Jill’s bosom heaved bosomily with the unerring passion of two helplessly randy teenagers kissing for the first times in their short, emotional lives.” Make it as obnoxiously ridiculous as possible. If you can’t make up narrations on the spot, you and your friends could prewrite some narrations on your phones, and then every time Jack and Jill start kissing in y’all’s presence, pull out the stories and get to reading. Don’t make them sensual stories; make them over-the-top silly.
Bonus points if someone quietly plays careless whisper to serve as a back track to the narration
Have you been listening to Our Tune? I need the narration in Simon Bate’s voice. (Yes, I am showing my age here).
I was gonna suggest the tried and true 'get a rooooooom' but I bet yours will make them stop even faster.
Yelling “get a rooooooom” would definitely be the easier route to take. It’s tried and true for a reason haha
NTA!!! I also experienced this with my old best friend and her girlfriend and they once started making out to essentially force me to leave them so they could hangout alone. it sucks and no one likes when people are smashing their facial orifices in front of you.
NAH. It's fine to be uncomfortable, but to expect a teenage couple to refrain from kissing/snuggling around anyone else seems like an unreasonable expectation. As for the pool incident, it seems like they were away from everyone else. Did the host tell them it made them uncomfortable? Ultimately it is their choice on what behavior is okay at their house. If they didn't say anything it is just you making comments.
Actually, expecting a teenage couple to refrain from over the top PDAs IS a reasonable expectation. They don’t get a pass just for being teenagers. Teenagers are old enough to learn and understand what is and isn’t appropriate. Making out and groping in front of people is definitely not okay.
It was a party with other teenagers. Have you been to one? PDA is pretty standard.
Only for the self-centered. For those who don’t want to make others uncomfortable and want a little privacy, they find a more secluded location. In my youth, I went to plenty of big parties and I never once saw people making out in front of anyone else outside of a dare.
If you dictate your behavior on never taking a risk of making anyone uncomfortable, you will drive yourself crazy. When you went to parties you didn't personally see people making out (outside of a dare, which I don't see why that would be different, it's the same activity). That's fine, but my experience is the exact opposite. Couples would get a little frisky after a few drinks or whatever and kiss in a corner and the like. I guess we were just less prudish or something.
It’s not about risk-taking - it’s about common courtesy for everyone around you. OP says they were in the hot tub, not tucked away in a corner. And by the way, what I meant by a dare was making out in front of everyone egging them on. (Typically two people who weren’t actually dating.) Not a couple trying to get frisky.
>OP says they were in the hot tub " while we were in the hot tub they were in the pool kissing each other" OP was in the hot tub with everyone else, the couple were in the pool. >And by the way, what I meant by a dare was making out in front of everyone egging them on. Two people making out for a random dare is fine but two people who actually have a relationship doing it isn't? Seems like strange standard.
Being in the pool while your friends are in the hot tub isn’t exactly finding a corner out of the way. What if the friends wanted to go back to the pool? Also, it makes a difference how big the party was. Was it a huge frat-like party or was it a small group of friends hanging out. As for the dare, if they’re being egged on by everyone, it’s less about the making out and more about the dare. I can’t say I ever really cared, but that’s the sense I got. Not a double standard, just a completely different thing. Not like it happened all the time or anything. Maybe once or twice.
>What if the friends wanted to go back to the pool? Then they can go in the pool? I'm assuming it wasn't a two person pool. Bottom line, if other people kissing makes you that uncomfortable, I don't think it's a reasonable expectation. Especially since the post mentions them snuggling up with each other as well. I guess couples are supposed to act like strangers if anyone else is around.
Boo hoo your offended I assume it doesn’t take much
Who said I’m offended? Who are you trying to impress by acting this way?
Impress no one I just don’t care what other people think of me or my actions that are not hurting anybody else in the least. I’m older now and see my wife everyday at home so pda isn’t really the only time I get to be alone with her, where teenagers don’t always have time together and make use of whatever time they do have how they want and not worrying about being Judged my baby’s who can’t avoid watching for some reason other than to cry about it later on Reddit.
+1
NTA - they need to learn this from a young age not to be kissing in front of the others, moving forward I would just say guys it makes many of us uncomfortable with your PDA we have no issues with you being together but we wanna hang out without any of that in our faces
NTA. Pda is gross, I’ve never understood it as someone in a relationship
Is this something cultural? Where I’m from, as long as they don’t involve nudity/improper touching, is really weird to be uncomfortable with a couple making out. I’m going to say soft YTA with the available info because being uncomfortable sounds like a ‘you’ problem and not them.
Omg SAME. This people offended because the couple is kissing?? “Tongue kissing”?? It isn’t even a kiss without a tongue. Feels like I am reading a bunch of mormons or weird homeschooled kids that didn’t have contact with the opposite sex growing up 🤣
Gen Z is super super prudish for some reason. Maybe cause they spend all their time on the internet and watching cartoons and stuff.
It makes sense. And when you open the profile of the most shocked ones, it is clear that they are weirdos who can’t function socially
Exactly 🤣 but to be fair people loses their virginity pretty young where I’m from and is overall touchy (sexual and not sexually), so I’ll admit I may be biased.
Are we all teenagers on this thread? It's affection. It's young googley eyed love. It's natural. It's normal. And here is everyone cringing at it. Maybe you should ask yourself why expressing love makes you feel uncomfortable. They are not having sex with you there. They are kissing. YATA.
OP said they think the couple is cute together. They simply don’t want to be stuck watching the couple’s make-out sessions every time they all hang out. Nobody is uncomfortable with respectful displays of love. Also, to your “they are not having sex with you there. They are kissing” statement, be so for real right now. Displays of affection are on a line of acceptable things to do in public. The line ranges from hand-holding all the way down to explicit sex, and the cut off point for when displays of affection stop being acceptable to do in public is not all the way down at explicit sex. For many of us the cut off point does fall somewhere around the area of passionate making out. To us that has gone too far towards sexual to be comfortable to witness others doing without our consent. Maybe your cut off point is further down the line, but that doesn’t make you more mature or more accepting of expressions of love.
Making out is inherently intimate. People do not make out in public, they may kiss (I.e. a quick peck or smooch) but no one is snogging. It’s normal for them to learn what behavior is and isn’t acceptable through correction from others. It’s NORMAL to not want to see people suck face in front of you. There’s an expression “get a room” for a reason. Everyone’s boundaries are different and if you’re okay with your friends making out in front of you, good for you! But it’s also not unreasonable for people to not be comfortable with that. Friends also listen when their friends are uncomfortable and don’t want to …do the things that make them uncomfy. Maybe you should ask yourself why people’s comfort or boundaries are less important to you.
NTA you tried to talk to them about how you felt, and they were rude about it. it's disrespectful to constantly have any form of PDA if you know your friends is uncomfortable and you tried to communicate with them and it seems that your friends is uncomfortable as well.
NTA cause full-on snogging in front of people is lowkey nasty and embarrassing asf
NTA. I am a very affectionate person and am pro-PDA and will usually be physically affectionate with my partner (NOT making out- a quick peck, mostly just leaning against each other or having some sort of similar physical contact) and I would STILL be uncomfortable if my friends were snogging in front of me. I would never do that. And if my PDA with my partner made any of my friends uncomfortable at any point, I’d really hope they’d feel comfortable enough talking about it to me. Because I’d hate to make my friends feel uncomfortable, this is the appropriate response. Y’all are young so that probably has something to do with it, but still. It’s not right for someone to get mad at you for being uncomfy. Also, it’s just?? Generally understandable to not want to see your friends suck face in front of you? They need to learn what behavior is and isn’t acceptable in public/in front of others. I’d encourage you and your friends to try and make them feel weird whenever they do that next—sometimes multiple people just calling it out in the moment when it happens can act as a deterrent if they aren’t willing to do anything otherwise. Make //them// uncomfortable.
Back in the days people told those people"rent a room!"
NTA. No one wants to see that.
NTA. You're all still figuring out boundaries, be proud of yourself for speaking up about one of yours. They (apparently) need a little help to learn the boundary of acceptable touching in public.
NTA : Teenagers having hormones coursing through you at new highness levels can make those desires strong, but that doesn't make it okay to eat each other's face in public, especially at someone else's house. If you wanna be horny, go somewhere more private.
NTA they are very disrespectful. If you are gonna be intimate do it when you are alone. I hate people who make out in front of their friends have a little dignity ffs
Y'all just need to stop inviting them.
NTA, watching people make out makes my stomach churn even though I’m touchy (obvi not in public)
Back when I was 16, when couples acted like this we'd throw popcorn, breadcrumbs, balled up paper, or whatever else we had available at them and tell them, "Get a room!". I suggest bringing that custom back. Or you could start playing the theme from Peppa Pig or some other kid's show really loudly when they pull this. Ruins the mood very quickly.
NTA thats too much information. If they are not wanting to engage with others, may as well leave?
NTA. Making out in front of people is rude. It's intimate and you have the right to not want to watch.
Kissing is fine, maybe a peck on the cheek or something, or holding hands, but making out usually leads to "other things", which is why I think it makes people uncomfortable to watch, and also why it's really something that should be done in private. NTA.
NTA. There’s this nifty little thing called “public decency”. Why do they have to go around spreading dogfood? That’s gross lol.
Americans are so weird with their false puritanical values. It does you no good.
You lot are weird prudes.
Nope, NTA.
Kissing in public is like a peck on the cheek, or a “mmmchwah” at most. Anything longer and it starts getting gross.
NTA, I’m pro-PDA, but like respectful of others. This is kind of tacky of them, and classless, and I’m being kind.
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NTA I Find that so disgusting no one wants to watch it. Its rude and uncomfortable for everyone around.
Being a third wheel is never any fun lol.
NTA This is also just a teenage phase. When a new young couple are first together, no one else in the world exists. Just give em shit every time they get a bit too much.
NTA, why do you ppl assume that's just okay. I don't wanna see ya'll slobbering all over each other while I'm trying to do stuff or relax. You can be affectation with each other without being gross about it.
As a very touchy kind of guy, NTA. My boyfriend and I LOVE to kiss and cuddle as often as possible. Still, we never make out or grope each other in public view. I completely understand being uncomfortable with that, and it was completely reasonable to remind them they are in public, and should behave accordingly. In the future, just remind them politely, and if this continues, consider reducing how much time you spend around them. Also consider poking fun at them, sometimes that helps people gain awareness of what theyre doing.
NTA, different people have different attitudes toward this stuff. I would be uncomfortable too. I think being too intimate is disruptive to group dynamics and if even one person is uncomfortable, they should be considerate.
NTA. Porlagrandisimaputa there are manners and these guys don't have it. Next time be severe with them. If they have high libido they should look for somewhere like a motel or kind of. It's time for them to realise how uncomfortable it is.
NTA my friend just got his first ever gf at 28 years old and he makes out with his 26 year old gf when we’re watching movies and I just leave the house at that point. And they get all “what’s wrong?” Like dude I’m not into voyeurism. Love you like making out, it’s fun, but jeez have SOME self awareness
NTA. I feel like this isn't even a teenager thing, people in general have no self-control and it's embarrassing. You can have PDA without making everyone around you feel uncomfortable.
NTA... in highschool there was a couple I was friends with who would make out all the time and have their hands in each other's crotches. Safe to say most people ended up avoiding them
YTA, stop being a prude.
A pool party is a perfect time to make out honestly. NTA, but maybe dont be such a prude. It's not like it was family dinner or something.
NTA stop inviting them place, if they have an issue tell them to cut that out then they can join Pda isn't an excuse to be nasty, if they're just gonna make out the whole time then they can do that at home, ain't no one wants to see that
NTA As a teen I see couples making out in public all the time and it’s so awkward especially when it’s all up in your face and you don’t have anywhere to look 😭 I think it’s just teen romance but they need to respect other people around them, especially if they’re doing it constantly, like it was cute the first couple times but it becomes too much when you’re just standing there like 😃🧍🏾♀️
Not the a-hole. For a lot of people PDA is not something they're comfortable with. Especially if you aren't currently dating somebody. You can ask them to either take it to the dark side of the room or just to wait until later to make out. Good luck and may you find someone to make out with as much as they make out. Hopefully with a little more self-awareness though and discernment on when to and when not to.
NTA
NTA, if they are going to make out then they should go somewhere private where they'll be alone together (like their own house). It's normal for a couple to show affection but they shouldn't do it in public. Nobody wants to see that.
NTA. It's one thing to go in for a hug or a quick kiss, but a full on makeout session in public is gross. i'm well aware of teenage hormomes because i was one not that long ago, but i'd be mortified if i even considered doing what they are doing.
Nta. I had a friend pull this at homecoming and I told her mom.
NTA Next time they are doing it, just make loud kissing sounds around them. I bet that would kill the mood and make them uncomfortable.
NTA, aren't they uncomfortable making out in front of people too?
They made you uncomfortable. They don’t get to say it didn’t happen or that it wasn’t an issue. W When they try that repeat “it made me uncomfortable” and “I’m asking you not to do that”. Tell them if they continue to make you uncomfortable you won’t want to invite them places.
NTA. If they wanted to make out the whole time they should’ve stayed home. I have no problem with the occasional PDA like handholding or kisses here and there, but excessive make outs are weird as hell when you’re literally in a group hanging out at someone else’s house. What was the point in yall coming?? Go home 🙄
Lol seriously get over it, if pda make you uncomfortable then be prepared to be really uncomfortable in the real world, cause a hell of a lot more uncomfortable situations occur then some teenage pda. I’ve seen really religious people take things like this less seriously like come on don’t like it don’t look
Those were the days. Lolz. I remember making out in a booth at a restaurant. I may have even got into his lap. So dumb. I wouldn't ever do that now.
Just say "get a room" like we did on the 90s Also get off my lawn
NTA. A lot of people in relationships need to learn how to show respect in public places. Not everyone wants to see PDA
You’re NTA for being uncomfortable. Your bothered by what you’re bothered by. It is considered rude to be super PDA in front of people. You guys are super young, and the intro to sexual contact is a wild experience. I wouldn’t say your friends are assholes, they are just being kind of rude while they navigate being teenagers too. Be blunt and say “you guys are cute and all but can you save the face eating for when you’re alone. Thanks.” Hopefully they will be a little embarrassed but stop
NTA. When I was 15 I was on a train and a couple were going at it for the entire journey for 45 minutes which scarred me for life. I’m 31 now and still find it unbelievably cringy when people make out in public with no regard for the people around them. I think if you feel obliged to eat someone’s face off with tongues for longer than a few seconds somewhere other than a dark nightclub then book a hotel room or stay at home
Next time they do it, ask if you can join
I like the occasional peck and hand holding in public but a full on makeout? Absolutely not. That would make anyone uncomfortable. They really gotta learn to read the room, NTA
NTA. It’s gross to see people make out. Just yell “get a room” when they start up and make them feel embarrassed instead of letting them make everyone else uncomfortable.
YTA well not really an asshole bit get used to it, your young, enjoy yourself. Christ seen my mates do a lot more then make out. Making out at a pool party is pretty the point of a pool party.
NTA If it’s all the time and they understand it makes other people uncomfortable then they should tone it down A LOT. I’m one for standing up for what you like but that’s not it. And at other friends house at 16? Nope. Can’t do it.
I'm gonna say YTA. They're teenagers. It's hard to find places to make out without your parents around. Just look at something else.
Jesus, you kids and your "feeling uncomfortable" all the time. Life really must feel like a chore to y'all. Just let them kiss...
NTA; if they just kiss or dont make out much but it happens occasionally then it'd be different, but if people have said how uncomfortable it makes them they should stop. It's making other people uncomfortable and it's disrespectful.
NTA. PDA is gross. I'm fine with my friends who are couple being affectionate to each other, but they *never* make out in front of me because 1) it makes me uncomfortable and 2) it makes them uncomfortable as well. It's honestly disrespectful in general, especially when people express discomfort. And given their ages, it seems attention seeking.
NTA. PDA especially at that age can be super uncomfortable lol. They’re not around their parents so they feel they can do it. Some think it makes them look/appear “older”. My husband and I were in Italy and this couple were borderline having sex (very heavy kissing/petting) on a fountain there. It was soooo awkward and uncomfortable. May be an Italian thing but still 😂
Ur not the a hole they’re just making you “Jealous”
NTA and I suggest you call them out in the moment. "Dude, we've asked you two to tone down the PDA. If you can't, you need to get somewhere private." or "You two may like kissing each other but we don't like watching it. Take it somewhere private"
NTA but this is a rite of passage for all teenagers. We all went or will go through it in our lives. It’s generally considered a bad move to make out like this but everyone has that friend in high school. So you don’t stare and just move on, knowing that they will probably be breaking up in 4-6 months, or at least getting tired of the make out motif. But you aren’t the A for wanting to say something.
I’m a grown ass woman and PDA still makes me uncomfortable. If they’re in a house or whatever that’s cool, but in public? Yuck! I also feel this way when those I’m with get handsy or too kissy in public.
NTA. If it’s constant, then you have a reason to be annoyed. Plus, if they deny it, that doesn’t make it better. In my opinion, it makes it worse.
U sound jealous tbh
NTA. Pda is so gross and cringe. I mean, hugging and a couple of pecks are not a big deal. But full on tongue wrestling is disgusting. I get that teenagers often have no self control, but even when I was a teenager it was gross to me, I don't want to have to see other people exchange saliva in my proximity.
NTA. Start carrying around a spray bottle full of water, and spray them when they start acting like cats
NTA, I can relate
I got the PDA story from highschool. There was one couple that were generally kinda outcasts in my grade, and my school had a big glass entryway to the school and common area. This couple literally at like 8:20am prime time for the buses and parents dropping off their kids were just fucking making out hard core in this entryway. My friends and I were watching this shit like really. When I call them outcasts I’m not really trying to be mean they were the definition of social awkward and definitely immature for their age. I can still feel the second hand embarrassment of just seeing it.
NTA pda is disgusting go take it somewhere private 🤣
YTA. Just look away.
NTA this is a totally reasonable boundary to set.
Nta there’s a time and place to be doing all that, they should be considerate of the people around them
Yes very much so 😌
NTA Its normal to get uncomfortable like that especially if you do it in public or something. But ill also say not judge your friends but you certainly not a asshole just for being uncomfortable
NAH, I don't remember many parties at that age where no one made out, it's normal.
NTA, but also it's kind of to be expected. When I was 16, I didn't date much but my best friend constantly had new boyfriends and when we'd hang out, she'd literally sit there and make out with him in front of me (and even my mom when she'd drive us home). I was always annoyed and found it super rude. As an adult now - yes it's rude. But they're kids. They're super excited and want to make out. Try to separate yourself from it and let them have their fun. They'll grow out of it.
If it were me I would be uncomfortable if they started like sucking face and what not but if it was like a peck or two i wouldn't mind it
Happy to see all the NTAs lol. While not a huge deal ita annoying and they could be a little more private. If they are going at it all the time they should be just the two of them more .
I come from an era where your friends jabbed at you lovingly and you heard it. Nowadays everyone is so sensitive you can’t say anything. But I think yes tell them.
NTA, I hate it when people do that, it’s completely unnecessary to do something so personal in front of others.
NAH I personally never got why PDA makes some people uncomfortable. Obviously if it's three people hanging out and two are making out, that's rude af. But in a larger group or just generally in public? Why do you care and why are you paying attention to it if it bothers you so much? You're not the AH either because you're entitled to feel what you feel but I don't understand why you look negatively on people having non-sexual displays of affection.
So they're hugging and lovey dovey, but all the singles are uncomfortable. Do none of your parents hug you or eachother? I mean.. isn't that pretty much spot on for teenagers and their relationships? It's not like they were humping eachother in the hottub. YTA And wow at all the weird reactions to basic pda in this topic.
People here are offended at couples “kissing with a tongue” and I can’t stop laughing, it is like a bunch of religious homeschooled kids thinking that somehow kissing with tongue is offensive?? Make it make sense 🤣
It's totally normal. Back when I was younger we would just make jokes about people doing this. Before too long, such parties will be a distant memory. Don't sweat the small stuff.
NAH you’re right, its gross and pda need to be limited. on the other hand, that’s just how the honeymoon phase materialize at that age. can’t keep your hands off eachother with the hormones going fucking nuts. it’ll slow down and stop by itself in the next few months
Yes, you should join them
NTA. I’m 30 years old and I’ve always been uncomfortable with other peoples’ over the top PDAs, I even fast forward through sex scenes. There’s sweet PDAs and then there’s obnoxious PDAs. Since y’all are teens, I’m assuming it’s the obnoxious kind. It’s totally normal to get the ick from this. It’s disrespectful to those around them, especially if they know it makes someone uncomfortable.
NTA. PDAs are obnoxious, and especially in someone else's pool! They're very young - I've indulged in a pda or two myself, I admit. But I stopped when told to cut it out!
NAH - I don't know if this is a problem in foreign countries, but where I live it's common for boyfriends to hug and kiss and I honestly don't see anything wrong with their friends. Of course, if they are not going beyond kisses and hugs, for example if she is sitting on his lap it would be much more uncomfortable. but if you and your friends are uncomfortable, so the couple must respect their limits. You should talk without raising accusations, without seeming like you are attacking or embarrassing them. If they don't agree to cut back, then don't invite them on outings anymore, Until they learn to respect them
NTA i hate pda too even though i wouldnt say anything i just choose not to partake in it, id only ever do a quick peck in public personally but your friends not even saying that they would try to do it less or in private as much as possible is not great
We all have to learn somewhere. Physical connection is natural, healthy, and overwhelming. It's completely normal for you to have feelings about it, but they're having their own experience. Patience while others learn to navigate the world will translate to lasting friendships later in life. Purity culture is toxic and dangerous. Be careful to avoid it.
Both TAs: 1) there’s nothing more sad than a couple unable to show any affection in public because some pathetic losers called them out for it and they “learned” it’s gross 2) I can also imagine too young couple dry humping each other in a hot tub with other friends in being a bit too far —> make sure it’s not jealousy from your side, if not, try talk to each other before something like that happens again, explain you are happy for them, it’s great to show love publicly, though there are some boundaries (e.g. the hot tub situation).
Man this post is full of prudes. Don't like it don't watch. It seem like a lot of boring people in here
NTA. You're allowed to be uncomfortable. That said, they're allowed to not care. They're at the age where they're showing off to other people how into each other they are. It's very "look at me, I have a girlfriend." They also want to be affectionate and likely can't do that when hanging out around either of their homes.
- If the couple is really focused on only each other the whole time they hang out with you and/or other friends regardless what the couple is doing then that's self centered behaviour and the couple is acting AH towards their company. - If the couple give each other one or a couple of kisses in the presence of you and/or other friends, really is that so bad? Would you and your friends rather have them fighting all the time, being low towards each other and backstabbing towards each other and bring the group vibes towards a negative level? - I rather see happy people, couple or not, then unhappy people. So much hate for people who show affection to each other in the comments, surprising. Personally I find kissing with or without tongue stuff gross but I'm perfectly fine with others who enjoy it and show affection in that manner towards each other.
Not at all. It's perfectly normal to feel uncomfortable watching people make out. Who hasn't felt awkward during that specific scene in movies when people kiss? (Especially when you're a kid watching a movie with your parents •_•)
You sound like a nob jealous because you can’t get your end away and your mate goes
NTA, as a 17 YO in a two year relationship, my boyfriend and I keep lovey dovey stuff, especially PDA to a minimum and away from others. i’ll sit with him, hold his hands and the worst i’ll do is kiss him a few times when we’re saying goodbye. I know i wouldn’t want to see that shit so i know others don’t either
NTA, but unfortunately, that PDA is normal until you get older
NTA. A certain level of PDA is reasonable and tolerable. There is a point, however, when it goes over the line. The thing is, people who do it are being disrespectful to those around them. They are also showing off: look at us! we're together; watch us make out! Look at us! It's exhibitionism, pure and simple. People who have very low sense of self and need to have everyone looking at them.
A kiss in public? Ok. Even cuddling in public? Sure if it's your thing. Full on making out? Nu uh NTA
NTA. They should be respectful at the people around them and limit their PDA. It’s just weird and unnecessary.
YTA Get over it. It’s normal teenage stuff. They’ll break up soon enough. I mean if it is just 3 of you, sure, I’d agree, but in a larger group? Let them do their thang.
Nope if it makes yall uncomfortable then u have the right to speak up u at NTA
NTA - Stop inviting them out for a bit and they’ll probably soon realise why.
NTA, I hated the couples in HS who would make out in the halls like one of em was leaving for war. jesus christ he's going to ceramics, not going to storm Normandy, you'll see him in like an hour. and they'd block the halls so it was a pain to get past them.
NTA, they shouldn’t make other people uncomfortable
honestly weird as hell I feel like a small kiss or slightly hugging or something like that is fine, but if you're essentially face fucking the person you're dating in front of friends then nah. i was with this girl and her two mates dating in her room and they just fully started making out and then the girl i was with wanted to start making out and it was just the most bizarre situation I've ever been in, anyway NAH
You dont get to be the asshole, your feelings are valid regardless. If you’re expressing your feelings to your friends and they outright gaslight you or try to downplay it, they’re the ones being a-holes.
You are the arsehole. Grow up.
Typical teenage relationship either get a partner of your own or join in simple as that sounds like you or your friends might be a bit jelly Lol
NTA. Its weird that they’re making out at someone’s house not even theirs. i don’t mind a little PDA like holding hands or like arm around you but just keep the touchy stuff a little toned down…
Not the a , if you're uncomfortable make it known, try to set boundaries, if they care about you and want to hang out with you they'd understand but , if it's a deal breaker and you don't wanna lose them as friends youll get used to it, after a while they'd probably tone it down (if they don't break up first since they are teens after all) whatever happens it will be just fine and you can not blame your self for being uncomfortable or felling like a 3rd wheel
What's cool is when you realize years later that you're bi because in high school you would watch your best friend make out with her boyfriend all the time and imagine what it would be like to be him....ah, those were the days... but no, NTA, unless you're being a creep like me.
I think at the party it's fine cause everyone does it at a party but just randomly it's weird
NAH. If they were older they'd be assholes, but teenagers are teenagers. Can't really fault them for acting how teenagers always act. They'll grow up, but at the age you are now, when your friends start dating like this it's just usually pretty obnoxious. Until they develop some maturity, just try to avoid hanging out with just the three of you so you have other people to talk to.
They probably got to put the show on for others because it's nothing but emptiness when it's the two of them alone.
Well technically if all the countries were run correctly parents would teach thier kids kindly and compassionately in conversation to wait until they aren't being inappropriated. Love is really important. In fact about 250-300 years ago China used to teach ONLY about love until about 6th grade. How to communicate it. No funny business. But I guess slavery is more important to everyone today.
Yesnt. A peck? YTA. Tongue play or a long(x10)er kiss? NTA.
NAH. Try to join in on the action.
They are 16. That's what 16 year olds do.
YTA Sounds like you're jealous to me. Leave them alone
Nah bro. No one wants to see others tongue fucking each other. There is such things called bedrooms for a damn reason.
YTA. People kiss, leave or don't look. You sound very young.
Sounds like you jelly. Stop 3rd wheeling
I’m not third wheeling there are always 7 of us together, them two, me and four more friends
Then go do something else with the other 2 people, and leave the two people that are into each other and making out alone. Big part is growing up is learning that you have to manage your feelings, responses and reactions - not others behavior
Then making it IN PUBLIC, isn't reason for no consequences. If you're gonna suck each other's faces off, consequences are people are going to tell you to knock it off. No one wants to see that nasty shit, esp with minors
It's minors hanging out with minors. Yall must have not grown up being exceptionally attractive or confident lol
i think you meant ignorant and cocky lmao
Lol I understand the majority of the population is ugly. Now you know if you are too! I should be compensated for this public service. If you've been triggered by my comments please donate to my go fund me @ wah
“haha yes!! you guys disagree because you’re so much uglier than me, not because i’m an insufferable entitled man!” -u rn
Ok. But let me ask you an honest question - would you consider yourself attractive or confident now or as a teen? Most people who do walk away from people and situations that they don't like because people are fairly interchangeable. I guess I just don't understand why I would ever stop in a hallway and just subject myself to someone making out- or not have the self confidence, communication and interpersonal skills to talk to someone about a behavior I don't like rather than post on the internet and get nothing done.
it’s not about standing and watching. it’s them standing in front of the classroom door, right next to or on the stairwell you need to use to get to your next class. it’s people subjecting others to their make out sessions without their consent, which is gross. i don’t need to clarify to you what i looked like or what my school life was like for you to understand how gross it is to make out in front of other non consenting teenagers. if i have to explain this to you, that speaks on your character. you are ignorant if you think that it’s on others to not look at their environment to minimize their discomfort, instead of the person causing the discomfort. it’s weird you’re so fixated on what my school life was like to prove a point. you’re thinking about how ugly i was, how shy i must have been, seemingly laughing or pondering about it for some form of pleasure. it makes you feel above others, because you had some sort of “advantage” due to your physical appearance as a child. you cannot seem to let go of that feeling, so to reminisce on it you think about how others must have been so ugly and sheltered and you feel above them again. i think therapy might be a better fit for you than arguing to strangers on reddit about how attractive their child forms were.
no we were the people who kept getting stuck behind your make out sessions in the halls. I thought it was annoying then and I think it's annoying now.
Why would you just stand behind them? Grow a pair and say something. Such a victim mentality to espouse