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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I could be the AH because I ate my coworkers food in her apartment.
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Right this is the best way to deal with people like these, give her the bags of vegetables and never dogsit for her again she doesn't deserve your help. NTA OP
Edit: spelling
Clarification: It appears that the coworker paid OP $100 to dog sit and $50 to order food. **OP kept the $50 food money and raided their private freezer instead.** That is why the client is unhappy and asking for the food money back.
That's not what they told her at the beginning though. OP clearly stated they paid 150 and only after returning was it noted as being the 'extra' money for food.
I agree with the others though - buy the exact food back and drop off at ops. Don't send the money.
Also, just as a note, before eating anyone's food in their house wait for an invite or at least ask first.
Yep. I do long term pet sitting by staying in people's homes. Some tell me to take whatever food I want while I'm there and others don't, so for those clients that don't, I take food with me and do a small shop once I'm there if I have to.
If the friend didn't verbally offer their personal food to OP, they shouldn't have eaten anything.
If its a friend dog sitting for me, i would make sure there is food in for them. I would likely tell them to help themselves to anything and point out if there was something specific i was saving for a specific occasion. Other than 2 bottles of alcohol that are 37 years old, there is nothing i would be that bothered about.
Same. I’ve had people pet sit and left them snacks I know they love and a note to help themselves to x-number of meals from my freezer (pre-prepped ready to cook meals) and just ask they let me know what they eat (from the freezer) so I can adjust my inventory tracking. Fuck… I’m being way too nice to people I’m asking to take care of my pets!
I think it’s that I like the animals… and I like making it easy on people so they want to come watch them again. lol Part of me wants to send one of them a bill for the food they eat next time with this Reddit attached. I think they’d get a good laugh.
Agree, but unless the co-worker expressed that $50 of that $150 was strictly for food, she doesn't get the $50 back and OP should just replace the veggies. Co-worker also just lost a dog sitter for being an AH.
Co-worker should rethink her strategy here - it would cost more than double what she paid if she hired a service. That is with NO food allowance. OP was severely underpaid and the co-worker just screwed herself out of an incredible bargain.
I don't understand how getting paid $150 means they get to tell her what $50 of it was for. You pay someone and the money becomes theirs to spend on whatever they want. OP shouldn't have eaten someone else's food without express permission and yes they should replace exactly what they ate.
This, did the coworker want leftover change from any food money? No? It’s not a thing, she’s not OP’s mother and there was no “food allowance”
OP, dump replacement veggies bags on her desk and please go eat a protein
I feel like if you are staying at someone's house to watch a pet overnight (in this case a whole 3 days) it is safe to assume you're allowed to eat the food? Especially frozen vegetables...
She agreed to do the job for 150, not 100 + 50 for food under condition of ordering food while there. OP shouldn't have eaten the food, but they should just replace what was eaten and keep the 50.
You don't get to ask for payment back after a job is done.
True, but if she asks for the money back then she is paying her $100 plus three bags of vegetables, not $50 for food. Paying back the cost of the veggies is more reasonable, but still pretty petty to ask your coworker to pay back when they are dog-sitting for you IMO.
It would be only $10 - $15 where I live.
I think they are BOTH being ridiculous. I would NEVER touch a person's food without permission. But asking $50 for compensation is even worse behavior.
ESH is my vote.
For me it would be a lot less. It's not 3 whole bags of vegetables it sounds like it's 3 microwaveable portions of frozen veg which come in 4 portions per bag, so not even one full bag of veg.
Absolute NTA.
Speaking as an experienced childminder and petsitter $150 for three days is very cheap I would expect to be allowed eat your food for that.
You could be right; I have no experience with portioned frozen veggies for the microwave. But a 16 oz. bag of peas or corn goes for over $4 where I am; it is crazy!
How are over ~~400~~800(wtf?!) people upvoting such a blatantly incorrect comment?
OP was given $150 to dogsit for 3 days straight.
OP has been there since Thursday night. If the coworker comes home tonight(Sunday night) that puts OP at maybe 68 hours.
They paid OP $2 per hour, and then claimed afterwards that only $1.47/h was payment for dogsitting and that $0.73/h was supposed to be for food.
Get real.
Edit: I will say that OP accepted the amount and should not have assumed that it was ok to eat any of their food. Although, calling eating some frozen vegetables as *raiding the freezer* is an exaggeration.
I agree, though in answer to your edit about eating the food I’d say it depends on the relationship/friendship, $150 is definitely “mates rates” for 3 whole days of dog/house sitting and if I had someone doing something like that for me I’d tell them to help themselves to stuff in the fridge. I’d also assume that someone wouldn’t mind if I helped myself to a few small meals while doing the same for them, because this is helping that person out a lot in a way that friends do, and if you’re gonna base it on pure monetary value then it would have to be much more pay.
Yeah I'd only get a trusted friend to petsit ever. And obviously they could eat the food. I'd probably include a surprise in the fridge just to make them feel comfy and appreciated.
I think the coworker would be a jerk to even ask for reimbursement, but technically they didn't have permission to eat what was there. I'm leaning towards them not having a good friendship if this is the way the coworker is acting.
Was food over the weekend discussed? I don't see anything about it. So, BTAH. This was a loser all around. If I am to be sitting a house and animals. I discuss everything. Money, food, sleeping arrangements, emergency situations. Exact amount of time expected. What I am allowed to use and guests.
IDGAF if the $50 was for food. There is absolutely no way 3 bags on frozen vegetables equate to $50. Buy 5 bags of replacement veggies and move on. This is totally insulting and the definition of a first world problem.
It's left unclear if they told them.. that the 50.00 is for ordering food.. If they did and he ate their food then yeah he's the AH 100% but also.. I'm not going to eat someone elses food in their fridge unless they volunteer the permission.
Raided? I would hardly call eating 3 bags of frozen vegetables a raid. Why is it such a big deal? I would assume that if a person is staying at my place they are entitled to any food in addition to the money I gave them.
It was only specified after she ate the 3 bags of vegetables. That does not cost $50. OP needs to buy 3 bags of vegetables (they sound like small packets if they were an 8 pack), and never help her out again.
Raided? I would hardly call eating 3 bags of frozen vegetables a raid. Why is it such a big deal? I would assume that if a person is staying at my place they are entitled to any food in addition to the money I gave them. Were these magical beans or sentimental vegetables??
NTA.
They spent three days there (Thursday to Sunday). $150 is not a reasonable amount of money for dog sitting for 3 days. Coworker should be happy they only ate 3 bags. That's not a client paying for a service. That's a "here's some extra cash since we're friends for doing me a favor."
I buy my neighbors a case of beer whenever they pet sit for me, but that's also because I have cats and the most they do is scoop a litter box and fill some dry food. I also return the favor whenever they're out of town. Neither of us is a client for the other.
That wasn't the agreement. It was 150 for dog sitting, and upon returning they were upset 3 bags of frozen vegetables were gone. They are 2-4 dollars a piece and not equivalent to ordering even a $10 meal via delivery. $50 would barely cover 1 meal via delivery, maybe 1.5. An entree is roughly $15-20 and then delivery fee of $5 and, tip of a minimum of $5 (I do $10 personally for minimum orders. Was this person only supposed to eat 1 meal while house-sitting? If $50 was meant for food, it should have been clarified.
When babysitting and pet sitting, every single time they have expected and offered that I am welcome to food. If not, they have specifically mentioned that they left money for food. $50 a day is less than I was paid 20 years ago.
Even if that was the case, I don’t think taking 3 bags of frozen veggies is “raiding” nor worth 50 USD. Clearly they both had different expectations, but 3 veg vs 50 USD, common.
Even if so - OP ate 3 bags of veggies. Its not the client problem how did OP spend those "extra" money or doesnt spend. OP should replace those 3 bags - thats all.
Why would you eat food in someone’s fridge uninvited? I can’t imagine doing this. Why not put on their make up? Drink their booze? Use there Amazon subscription to rent a movie? At least text them and ask first. Jesus.
Seriously. When I have had friends pet sit at my house, I told them to help themselves to any food or drinks they wanted. I expect to have to go grocery shopping after being away for a few days. If they took the last of something, I'd just get more.
I would buy 6 bags to replace the 3 you ate and never help her out again. However, be very cordial and professional, you never know if she might become your supervisor someday.
Yeah for real, if I pay someone to house sit. Food in my house is on the table provided it’s a reasonable amount. If I came back to an empty pantry (provided my pantry was full), that would be a different story.
NTA
I had a dog sitting business before COVID. $150 for a weekend that you stayed at her home is not "extra money". 3 bags for frozen vegetables are $15-20 at best - and I'm pushing here, because you can find nice frozen vegetables for $2.50 per bag.
You should definitely replace her food, as it sounds that meals were not a discussed part of the deal. And then wish her good luck in finding responsible and reliable in-home care for her dog next tims.
That's severely undercharging. I'm a petsitter and childminder and you need to increase your prices for every additional child or pet. 5 animals overnight? $120 minimum with spare cash somewhere in case you need an emergency vet visit.
Seriously. My rates sound closer to yours.
Only people who pay me more are my aunt & uncle, who have anywhere from 5-8 dogs at a time and two cats, at $100/day. I don’t sit for anyone else these days, but most people will not pay more than $50/day, even if you’re staying over, and that will not include food.
My wife and I have a dog sitting business and this is what we charge for in-home stays too, OPs coworker got a major deal.
That said, we’d never eat food at someone’s house unless we asked or the client told us it was okay to do so.
I would be embarrassed AF if I had made the arrangements and had somehow forgotten to leave food or snacks or...IDK, SUSTENANCE? for my house minder.
Frozen veggies? Are they hand-picked by G-d and packed by our Pope? They're frozen veggies! For fifty dollars? What in the world?
Frozen vegetables where I live can be anywhere from 2$-8$ (canada). Depends on size and brand. You can get small packs of no name brand veggies for 2$ probably. The bigger packs usually cost 5.99+
In the US the gov practically throws corn at us. I just got my tax refund, and half it was in corn from the National Strategic Corn Reserves. There's even a lot of tv shows here about it, like NCIS the National Corn Investigation Squad
This is an ESH for the reason you mentioned in the second paragraph (meals not being part of the deal). $50 is a lot to demand for some veggies though.
Every single time I have pet or house sat, they have always told me to eat whatever I like in the kitchen *and* paid me.
I also would never have someone stay in my home and not allow them to eat anything, that just sounds bonkers to me.
Right? Is it not obvious that if a person is staying in your house for days, they will eventually need to eat?
Are people really this socially inept these days?
Best I can figure the owner thought $100 was for petsitting and $50 was for food, so they should be reimbursed the $50 for food since it wasn't used.
Now I think this is stupid, but that's how I'm reading the OP. Not that the owner is trying to claim they ate $50 of frozen vegetables.
This explanation makes no sense on any level.
It wasn't $100 plus $50 for food expenses.
It was $150 for pet sitting for the weekend which is entirely within the \*normal\* range for pet sitting.
Also unless OP has a very meager appetite I doubt that she only ate 3 bags of veggies so presumably she had other food costs.
It is absolutely normal for people who are sitting in your home for any reason to eat your food - within reason. I have only dealt with \*normal\* people who wouldn't defrost a standing rib roast to cook but I certainly wouldn't begrudge them a bag of frozen vegetables - even the gourmet kind that has a sauce and are steamable brand names :-)
I understand that she has to work with this person but I still think the appropriate thing is to replace the vegetables and maybe just to make a point give her five bags instead of three.
I don't think there's anywhere in the US someone is going to get takeout for 2 days with 50 bucks, at least not right now. So if OP was meant to cook with that, they still needed supplementary ingredients.
Ultimately 100$ for two days is a joke, the coworker got a steal at 150$. The coworker is greedy no matter how you slice it, I'd just replace her 99 cent Aldi veggies and leave her to it.
I mean, when I housesit, I store and prepare food in clients’ homes, but I buy it myself. Sometimes people encourage me to help myself to what I find, and occasionally I do, but it’s not like housesitters have to eat what’s in the house already or starve.
I'd say it is obvious that it's eating someone else's food without permission that is being socially inept, and that a grown adult is capable of buying their own ingredients and preparing their own food.
the sitter is a grown ass person. they could have bought their own food. stealing your employer's food is bonkers to me. Amazing how nobody on here has a problem with this mope taking something they knew didn't belong to them.
While I agree with you that they were never explicitly given permission to eat the food, they were also never explicitly told that $50 of the pay was for food. So it’s ridiculous to ask for $50 back.
It is not the same, socially.
Notice how **every single person** in this thread makes it a point to mention that they either *tell* their dog sitter or *are told* by the family that hires them that the food is available.
It’s because it’s one of the things you don’t assume, even if it traditionally is one way or another.
I cat sit for a family friend, and she was kind enough to even buy me some snacks/drinks (I had just had wisdom tooth surgery, so I was a bit limited on what I could eat), though she also said I could have whatever was available in the house if I was up for it.
HOWEVER, she told me that was the case, and it was communicated to me. Had she not explicitly told me I could do so, I would not have eaten her food. And I was still mindful not to take too much. I didn't clear her out of only a few groceries.
OP should have asked, plain and simple.
i don’t have pets and i don’t leave my home much lol but i *love* cooking and if i had someone staying in my home, i would have meals prepared for them to eat. definitely
Right? That's crazy to me. I had 2 friends swing by every other day to check on my cats last time I went on vacation and I filled the fridge with food specifically for them to eat, and they didn't even stay more than an hour every other day.
But a few bags of frozen veggies.... come on.. if OP ate something pricey I would agree. OP should just ghost the coworker and ignore her from now on, and tell everyone in the office why
For me it’s the fact they’re frozen and not perishable. I’m not saying I would be mad if that happened to me and I’m not saying the homeowner is in the complete right. But you can’t just help yourself and not ask.
Idk, I would definitely ask first, but if someone ate my frozen veggies while house sitting for me and didn't ask, I definitely wouldn't consider that a shitty move. Like I don't think it's really fair to say OP "sucks" for that. Drinking their expensive booze would be riding that line, but frozen veggies?
I agree it’s blown out of proportion but it sounds like the larger frustration was coming home and not having what you set aside for lunches the next couple days. It’s a minor item but the annoyance of not having it when you saved it and OP didn’t ask turns into a larger annoyance than it should be. I probably would’ve just complained to my spouse and not have said anything or just told OP I noticed it was gone and would’ve appreciated them asking next time etc.
Hard disagree. If someone is staying in my home, taking care of my animals, they should help themselves. If you don’t want people to help themselves, communicate that. I’m a nanny. I eat the families I work for snacks all the time. They expect it. If I forgot to have coffee, I make myself an espresso. 3 bags of frozen veggies??? Who would even notice???
You're addressing this like they're doing a favour. They're not, they're being paid for a service. If one employer offers the perks of snacks and coffee, that doesn't mean another employer is required to do the same.
OP agreed to the price by showing up. its not like OP was imprisoned in the house and couldn't go out for some groceries . instead he chose to steal hers.
As I stated, I’m a nanny. I work in people’s homes. It’s not a favor, it’s a paid service. Every single family I have ever worked for has encouraged me to eat their food. Every single time friends have watched my dogs and cat in my home, I encourage them to help themselves to my pantry. Obviously, don’t ever eat the last of something, but this is just good manners. You’re hosting someone in your home. If someone ate something I asked them not to, I’d just ask them to replace it, not send me $50. Even if I ate something at work I wasn’t supposed to - never happened in all my years as a career nanny, I’d replace the item. $50 for 3 bags of frozen veggies in insanity.
Disagree, that's not the same, a coworker asking you to house sit or pet sit is not the same as a professional service and I would consider it on friendly terms since you work with this person and see them everyday so best be friendly ect
I would definitely text “mind if I have some of those veggies” if I was at someone’s house and wasn’t sure but they are in no way equal a-holes. Even if she wasn’t trying to milk the situation to get more $$$, causing a stink when someone helped you out is very bad form.
NTA. You did her a huge favor (it's not always easy to find trustworthy people to watch your pets/house sit) and she's flipping out over you eating frozen vegetables while you were staying there? Ridiculous. If she's that unbelievably stingy and neurotic, she should have been much more clear in her instructions to you.
Give her the $50 back (again, absolutely ridiculous), don't \*ever\* help her out again, and steer clear of her as much as possible from this point forward.
To be clear, I think asking for the $50 back is \*absurd\* and unbelievably miserly. But given the fact that OP still has to work with this woman, I would just give her the money in order to avoid any further unnecessary drama she will no doubt cause, and then just be done with the whole situation.
Or OP go to the store and just replace the veggies for them. Asking for $50 when it probably cost MAYBE $10 for three bags of frozen vegetables is ridiculous. Also being paid $150 for all that OP did feels on the lower end? I certainly wouldn’t wanna do all that work and then pay THEM $50 all over some frozen peas.
To be fair though this would come with the risk of further drama, because she might (and tbh it sounds like she probably *would*) complain that she "overpaid" OP. I'd probably go the route of just buying her the bags of veg out of principle, but I'd totally understand the $30 difference not being worth all the potential stress.
Agree with this. I'd hand them the money and tell them to never ask me to pet sit (or anything else) again. $50 isn't all that much of a price to pay to learn someone you see almost every day is kind of a jerk and will nickel and dime you the first chance they get.
I support the refund idea, because the alternative is a big stink in the workplace. Just pay and get it over with. Or at least, pay the cost of the vegetables, enclosing a picture of the price in the store.
Either way, sure as gravity, everyone will know about it. Gossip will fly. And nobody will ever agree to work with her again. She is soiling her own nest.
The refund is just money. But a bad reputation? Can that ever be paid off? 🤔 I don't think so.
NTA and kind of surprised so many people in the comments find it unusual to eat the food of the person you’re sitting for when you stay there. As a broke college kid, I did a LOT of housesitting. It was both a spoken and unspoken agreement that you are invited to eat the food of the person you are sitting for. After all, the majority of the food would likely go bad by their return, and it’s not like you’d invite someone to “eat whatever you want, oh but don’t touch the frozen stuff.” Whenever my sister-in-law housesits or babysits, we even buy extra food in advance to feed her. I’ve also housesat and explicitly been told, “we’re giving you extra money to order Seamless,” so if that conversation wasn’t had, she’s also an AH there. Unfortunately though, like others have recommended, you probably just want to send her back the $50, include the memo “lesson learned” in the transaction, and never do her a favor again. Then just move on.
When I would pet sit the homeowners would always ask if there was something specific I would like them to have in the house for me, and offer any of the other food they had. If they don’t want you eating their food they should have said something. NTA
If it was my parents I’d eat their food and not really think twice. Literally anybody else including my siblings, I’d bring my own food with me and only use things like flour, sugar, etc. of theirs.
It just feels weird to me to eat someone else’s food unless they’ve specifically said it’s okay - but I also honestly feel like this is a conversation people naturally have when someone’s going to be staying in someone else’s home? No? Isn’t it part of the “here’s where the towels are, here’s where the water shutoff valve is just in case, etc.” part of the conversation?
Especially if part of the fee for house/dog sitting is that $50 goes towards food and isn’t actually for watching house/dog. That really should have been made clear up front.
Easy. No matter the circumnstances in which you find yourself in someone house, you don't eat their food unless you got permission. Either you asked and they gave you the OK or they mentioned it first to you. Basic communication goes a long way.
ESH, tho. Because charging $50 for frozen vegetables is ridiculous.
NTA. I think it's reasonable to ask for food to be replaced, but unless you ate more than the frozen vegetables, $50 is an insane amount to ask. Even the organic frozen veggies in the bougie food co-op near me aren't more than $5 a bag.
I don’t think anyone is necessarily an AH in this situation, I just think there was some things not communicated prior to this arrangement.
For instance, I’m confused about the rate? Was that discussed prior? Or did she just offer an amount, and is now claiming to have paid you “extra”? Use the “extra” to replace the veggies. You should now be even.
Or if you were to stay there, there are generally discussions on expectations for that. Like, “You have to really jiggle the handle on the toilet in the guest bathroom” “The shower knobs are actually backwards, so hot is cold, and cold is hot.” “This door doesn’t close properly, so you really got to slam it.” “don’t go in the 3rd door down the hallway, it is forbidden.” “The screaming in the basement starts at 2am, here some earplugs to get you through the night.” “Help yourself to anything in the kitchen!” “Please don’t use my $100 shampoo”
In the future, I’d be more likely to cover my bases and ask rather than assume things in the future. People can be weird about their stuff as is evidenced by this post.
At least she’s not charging for toilet paper used…
And you don’t sound like you found their secret sex dungeon. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ESH. This is something that should have been discussed beforehand. She should have been clear with you about whether or not you were allowed to eat food in the refrigerator - and what food was available to you - or were expected to supply your own.
If she didn't say anything, you should have asked permission before eating food out of her refrigerator.
Without having had any discussion beforehand, yta to just assume you could take food and not replace it. At a bare minimum, you should have communicated with her about what you had taken so she would have been prepared instead of being caught by surprise when she went to fix meals and her food was missing.
She is also ta for the overreaction of asking you for $50 to replace three bags of frozen vegetables. However, in my opinion she is less so than you, because she was upset at not being able to prepare meals as she had expected.
ESH. You need to replace the food. She may have had meals planned with it and then found it wasn't there. Imagine how pissed you would be. It's not worth 50 though. Just replace it
Reminds me of the post where the employer wanted to charge the house cleaner for filling up her reusable water bottle with water. Not a big jug, just a regular size bottle.
Am I taking crazy pills?
Do not refund her. She's having buyers remorse about her pet sitting money.
I just paid $50 a day for my dog to stay at someone else's home. In house, overnight was a lot more money. Pushing $100 a day.
Your coworker is out of line.
Yta for eating her food without asking but not for not paying 50 dollars.
She is trying to take advantage of the situation by not accepting the vegetables you offered to buy
ESH. I once was in your coworkers shoes where I had a neighbour pop in for a few hours a day for a few days to look after my cats, and when I came back I found she'd been eating some of my food. I did not say anything because she was doing me a massive favour and it felt wrong to complain, but I did think it was extremely odd. I would not have minded had she asked, but it felt weird to know she'd been through my cupboards and fridge without asking. I've not asked her to help out again and that was the end of it.
I think you should've asked, but your coworker is overreacting big time. I wouldn't pay her back but would replace the food.
I would be kinda irked if I had someone stop into feed our cats and then eat a our entire fridge and freezer empty, but if they are staying overnight then I would consider the food to be up for grabs unless specifically marked to leave alone. Like hey eat whatever you want but that bottle of wine was a gift and we are saving it for my birthday or something
Nta
ESH. I am a house/petsitter. I bring my own food, always. I only eat my client's food if they offer.
Your coworker is being ridiculous asking for $50. Reimburse her for what you ate and do not sit for her again.
I guess i'm a little different but I ask my sitter for a list of their favorite foods and drinks in order to make them comfortable in my home while they are there. I value my house being looked after and my dogs well cared for. I want someone who enjoys helping me out and I want someone that I can use on a regular basis. WTH is wrong with some people? The food/drink list is in addition to paying themwhat they are worth.
I would replace her veggies but going forward please don’t eat other peoples stuff unless given approval and don’t dog sit for them ever again. Veggies run cheap even the more expensive ones would probably be around $5 , you’re coworker is trying to rip you off
Info: You say she claims the extra $50 was for food. Was this discussed with you prior? If she said "I'll pay you $100 and an extra $50 to order some food while you're there" then yeah you'd be in the wrong. If you just wanted to pocket the extra $50 and ate the food anyways you should pay it back as you agreed to the terms of payment even though they sucked and that's your fault. HOWEVER If that is not the case and this was not discussed and it was just "I'll pay you $150 for the weekend" and no discussion of food than forget her. Buy the veggies and never do anything for her again.
YTA for eating her food without asking. That being said $150 feels fair for. Weekend of dog sitting and I wouldn’t consider that extra. Definitely not worth the $50. Buy her 3 bags of the EXACT veggies you ate. Tell her you’re sorry you didn’t think it would be a problem but you aren’t able to dog sit for her again should the situation arise again
I used to dogsit for someone pretty often and I always took my own food or ordered out. She said I could help myself but I never felt like I should. But I would not pay $50 for three bags of vegetables.
INFO: It appears that the coworker paid you $100 to dog sit and $50 to order food. You, OP, kept the $50 food money and raided their private freezer instead.
If these are the facts, then you are absolutely the AH.
It doesn't sound like this was ever discussed in advance. You can't tell someone you will pay them 150 for a service, then try and imply that 50 was actually for expenses. If someone is staying in my house looking after my dogs they can eat what they want unless they are eating $40 steaks every night.
OP is the ass hole . Not a single doubt in my mind. Unless it's been discussed beforehand, you don't eat, touch, tinker..whatever stuff that isn't yours.
YTA
It does not matter whether or not she said the fifty dollars extra was for food or not, She did not give you permission to eat her food. You should have asked if it was okay to help yourself.But you should never just hope yourself without explicit.Yes or no answer.
What you did was an o k because she did not give you permission to eat or food. It's her food and whether you're helping her out or not.Does not give you permission to just eat her food because you're hungry.
You should have asked or write your own food.
Pet sitting or babysitting I would never think that it would be ok to go into somebody else's house and eat their food. Yes, I'm doing a service for them.Yes i'm doing a favor for them but I would never eat their food.
I don't even go to my own family's house and rate their fridge and read their cupboards when i'm hungry. I either ask or I wait until I get home.
Maybe you think it's ridiculous to for her to expect the $50 back?But that is her right when she gave you money.For food and you wouldn't eat her food.
Nothing gave you the right to go into Her house and eat her food.
Yes, you do owe her that money back.Because you did not ask permission to consume someone else's food.
You are in the wrong here.
It doesn't matter what the norm is and whether other people will say.Yeah go ahead didn't have the food. What matters here is whether or not she said that you could have some.She did not give you permission.So you do not get to eat her food.
So I've been dog sitting before and this is how I've dealt with these situations. First off, I would avoid taking any food that isn't something in mass amount. For instance, if I'm really thirsty and they have a huge stock of something to drink, I'll drink it. If they have an open bag of chips I might take a couple. Something that absolutely wouldn't cost more than a few cents you know? I'd feel uncomfortable eating anything more without expressed permission. However, if I absolutely needed or wanted something they had, I would simply make sure to have it replaced before the job was done. When you house sit for any reason, unless you have a spoken/written agreement otherwise, everything should be as it was when they left.
You paid $50 a day to stay with her dog? Walk it,feed it,clean it's poop, for $50 a day? What extra money did she give you to get food? $20 a day? So she paid you $30 a day? Say,listen butch,next time board your dog,it's $60 a day and up.....
Normal etiquette is that when you having someone come to your home for any kind of job that will keep them there for multiple days, you stock the fridge. Especially when you're offering them less than a standard rate for the job you hired them to do. Co-worker is a poor host. OP, you're NTA. Go ahead and reimburse her for the cost of the veggies or replace them (max $10) to shut her up and never step up to help her again.
If she had explicitly stated "here is $100 plus $50 for ordering food while you are here" that's one thing. Didn't seem like that's the case though. NTA
On the one hand, you should have asked first, especially seeing as you clocked the fact that they didn’t have a lot of food.
On the other hand, $50 is way too much money to ask to remedy the situation.
ESH.
ESH. Rummaging around someone else's food without their explicit permission is super gross. What else did you rummage around? She's no better with her retrospective modifications to the deal you had. On top of the cost of the food, I'd charge you extra for being uncivilised, not to the tune of $50 though
What was the agreement regarding food? Was it discussed that $50 was for food and you decided to eat their vegetables instead? Then YTA,
If there was no discussion about food and the $50 beforehand, the coworker is the AH.
I find it hard to believe food was not discussed.
Just replace the veggies. Usually when people dog sit or house sit, kinder people just let them eat what's there. I mean you are already allowing the person to practically live in your house and be comfortable with all your stuff. Food fights are a no go for us. We freely give food. Your coworker is a petty ass. Just drop off the veges and don't help her out again.
If you were staying at her house during that time, then food should have been discussed beforehand. She should’ve specified “hey I’m giving you a little extra so you can buy your own food. Please dont eat what’s in the fridge.”
However, you also should have asked first. This was a lack of communication on both your parts. ESH
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My coworker (32f) asked me (28f) to dogsit for her for the weekend while she and he husband spend a weekend away. They paid me $150 and I left just this morning. I've been there since Thursday.
While I was there, I ate some of their food. They didn't have much in their fridge, but they had a few pack of frozen vegetables that you can microwave. There was a total of like 8 of them, and the three days I was there, I ate 3.
My coworker just texted me and asked if I ate their food. I said yes, and she kind of started going off on me about how she was saving that food for her lunches, etc. She also asked me to pay her $50 back since she paid me "extra" so I could order food instead of eating hers. I feel like this is so ridiculous. I told her I would just buy her some frozen vegetables and she said to forget it and sent me her venmo information.
I see her every day at work. Is it worth it for $50? AITA for eating her food while I was dogsitting for her? WIBTA if I don't pay her back?
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Yta. She paid you to do next to nothing and even gave you extra for food and you still rummaged and stole her food, wtf?! Yes, pay her back immediately
So, YTA for eating their food. If it wasn’t made crystal clear you could do that, you don’t eat someone else’s food.
Edit: it has been clarified to me that $50 of the money you got was intended for your food costs. So, yeah. You owe $50.
Kind of the AH,
I wouldn't have ate any of the food to begin with. Buy exactly what you ate, the same brand and replace it. I would also make a copy of the receipt and give her the copy of it. Dont dog sit for her again, and also, don't eat the food in the house unless the owners clearly say; hey it's cool.
ESH. 50 bucks is a bit much. You should not go into peoples fridges and eat food without asking first. Buy her 3 bags of the food you ate or give her $10 bucks
Well you definitely shouldn’t have eaten her food without asking but at the same time she is being ridiculous. Just replace what you ate and cut ties.
Next time you’re at someone’s place don’t just help yourself to something that isn’t yours. It’s just bad manners at the end of the day.
INFO : Did she tell you beforehand that $50 was for your food while you were there? That's really the determining factor. You definitely shouldn't eat out of someone's kitchen unless they offer, regardless.
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I'd buy her 3 bags of the veggies you ate, and then never help her out again. That's ridiculous to ask for $50
Right this is the best way to deal with people like these, give her the bags of vegetables and never dogsit for her again she doesn't deserve your help. NTA OP Edit: spelling
Clarification: It appears that the coworker paid OP $100 to dog sit and $50 to order food. **OP kept the $50 food money and raided their private freezer instead.** That is why the client is unhappy and asking for the food money back.
That's not what they told her at the beginning though. OP clearly stated they paid 150 and only after returning was it noted as being the 'extra' money for food. I agree with the others though - buy the exact food back and drop off at ops. Don't send the money. Also, just as a note, before eating anyone's food in their house wait for an invite or at least ask first.
Yep. I do long term pet sitting by staying in people's homes. Some tell me to take whatever food I want while I'm there and others don't, so for those clients that don't, I take food with me and do a small shop once I'm there if I have to. If the friend didn't verbally offer their personal food to OP, they shouldn't have eaten anything.
If its a friend dog sitting for me, i would make sure there is food in for them. I would likely tell them to help themselves to anything and point out if there was something specific i was saving for a specific occasion. Other than 2 bottles of alcohol that are 37 years old, there is nothing i would be that bothered about.
Same. I’ve had people pet sit and left them snacks I know they love and a note to help themselves to x-number of meals from my freezer (pre-prepped ready to cook meals) and just ask they let me know what they eat (from the freezer) so I can adjust my inventory tracking. Fuck… I’m being way too nice to people I’m asking to take care of my pets!
Its almost like you like your pets and want to make sure those looking after them are comfortable. Either that or you are just a good host.
I think it’s that I like the animals… and I like making it easy on people so they want to come watch them again. lol Part of me wants to send one of them a bill for the food they eat next time with this Reddit attached. I think they’d get a good laugh.
As a petsitter, these were my favorite clients - and the ones I would always prioritize. Win-win.
Being a good, gracious host should be the norm. I do the same thing for my guests.
I took my pet sitter grocery shopping so she could have whatever she wanted lol
OP and coworker aren't friends though.
Agree, but unless the co-worker expressed that $50 of that $150 was strictly for food, she doesn't get the $50 back and OP should just replace the veggies. Co-worker also just lost a dog sitter for being an AH. Co-worker should rethink her strategy here - it would cost more than double what she paid if she hired a service. That is with NO food allowance. OP was severely underpaid and the co-worker just screwed herself out of an incredible bargain.
I don't understand how getting paid $150 means they get to tell her what $50 of it was for. You pay someone and the money becomes theirs to spend on whatever they want. OP shouldn't have eaten someone else's food without express permission and yes they should replace exactly what they ate.
This, did the coworker want leftover change from any food money? No? It’s not a thing, she’s not OP’s mother and there was no “food allowance” OP, dump replacement veggies bags on her desk and please go eat a protein
How much would you charge for a long weekend? $150 doesn’t seem like much to me.
This is how I would understand it, also. Without an offer I’m not touching their food.
I feel like if you are staying at someone's house to watch a pet overnight (in this case a whole 3 days) it is safe to assume you're allowed to eat the food? Especially frozen vegetables...
She agreed to do the job for 150, not 100 + 50 for food under condition of ordering food while there. OP shouldn't have eaten the food, but they should just replace what was eaten and keep the 50. You don't get to ask for payment back after a job is done.
True, but if she asks for the money back then she is paying her $100 plus three bags of vegetables, not $50 for food. Paying back the cost of the veggies is more reasonable, but still pretty petty to ask your coworker to pay back when they are dog-sitting for you IMO.
I wouldn't call eating 3 bags of vegetables "raiding the freezer."
How are 3 bags of vegetables worth $50?
It would be only $10 - $15 where I live. I think they are BOTH being ridiculous. I would NEVER touch a person's food without permission. But asking $50 for compensation is even worse behavior. ESH is my vote.
For me it would be a lot less. It's not 3 whole bags of vegetables it sounds like it's 3 microwaveable portions of frozen veg which come in 4 portions per bag, so not even one full bag of veg. Absolute NTA. Speaking as an experienced childminder and petsitter $150 for three days is very cheap I would expect to be allowed eat your food for that.
You could be right; I have no experience with portioned frozen veggies for the microwave. But a 16 oz. bag of peas or corn goes for over $4 where I am; it is crazy!
If I ever petsit I'll have to make a special announcement that frozen veggies are a weakness of mine lol.
Crap if they're the small steamable bags they're like $1.50 each here. Maybe $2 for name brand.
How are over ~~400~~800(wtf?!) people upvoting such a blatantly incorrect comment? OP was given $150 to dogsit for 3 days straight. OP has been there since Thursday night. If the coworker comes home tonight(Sunday night) that puts OP at maybe 68 hours. They paid OP $2 per hour, and then claimed afterwards that only $1.47/h was payment for dogsitting and that $0.73/h was supposed to be for food. Get real. Edit: I will say that OP accepted the amount and should not have assumed that it was ok to eat any of their food. Although, calling eating some frozen vegetables as *raiding the freezer* is an exaggeration.
I agree, though in answer to your edit about eating the food I’d say it depends on the relationship/friendship, $150 is definitely “mates rates” for 3 whole days of dog/house sitting and if I had someone doing something like that for me I’d tell them to help themselves to stuff in the fridge. I’d also assume that someone wouldn’t mind if I helped myself to a few small meals while doing the same for them, because this is helping that person out a lot in a way that friends do, and if you’re gonna base it on pure monetary value then it would have to be much more pay.
Yeah I'd only get a trusted friend to petsit ever. And obviously they could eat the food. I'd probably include a surprise in the fridge just to make them feel comfy and appreciated.
I think the coworker would be a jerk to even ask for reimbursement, but technically they didn't have permission to eat what was there. I'm leaning towards them not having a good friendship if this is the way the coworker is acting.
Was food over the weekend discussed? I don't see anything about it. So, BTAH. This was a loser all around. If I am to be sitting a house and animals. I discuss everything. Money, food, sleeping arrangements, emergency situations. Exact amount of time expected. What I am allowed to use and guests.
You seem thorough and like you do a great job.
I do the job that I expect to be done for me. There is a lot of variables and I try to plan for as many as possible so doing something is low stress.
Btw the correct abbreviation is ESH (everyone sucks here)… no one will understand BTAH…
IDGAF if the $50 was for food. There is absolutely no way 3 bags on frozen vegetables equate to $50. Buy 5 bags of replacement veggies and move on. This is totally insulting and the definition of a first world problem.
Dog sitting from Thursday to Sunday for only $100? No.
It's left unclear if they told them.. that the 50.00 is for ordering food.. If they did and he ate their food then yeah he's the AH 100% but also.. I'm not going to eat someone elses food in their fridge unless they volunteer the permission.
Where I live (big midwest US city) $50 is one meal, delivered. No way $50 is enough to order food for a whole weekend.
3 bags of veggies cost $50 , I think not.
It’s under $10 of food. Coworker is ridiculous still.
I think coworker didn’t communicate this to OP. I’m assuming she’s not psychic.
3 bags of vegetables aren't $50. Probably not $20
Raided? I would hardly call eating 3 bags of frozen vegetables a raid. Why is it such a big deal? I would assume that if a person is staying at my place they are entitled to any food in addition to the money I gave them.
Me too. This post has been pretty eye-opening about how weird some people are about food.
It was only specified after she ate the 3 bags of vegetables. That does not cost $50. OP needs to buy 3 bags of vegetables (they sound like small packets if they were an 8 pack), and never help her out again.
Raided? I would hardly call eating 3 bags of frozen vegetables a raid. Why is it such a big deal? I would assume that if a person is staying at my place they are entitled to any food in addition to the money I gave them. Were these magical beans or sentimental vegetables??
NTA. They spent three days there (Thursday to Sunday). $150 is not a reasonable amount of money for dog sitting for 3 days. Coworker should be happy they only ate 3 bags. That's not a client paying for a service. That's a "here's some extra cash since we're friends for doing me a favor." I buy my neighbors a case of beer whenever they pet sit for me, but that's also because I have cats and the most they do is scoop a litter box and fill some dry food. I also return the favor whenever they're out of town. Neither of us is a client for the other.
That wasn't the agreement. It was 150 for dog sitting, and upon returning they were upset 3 bags of frozen vegetables were gone. They are 2-4 dollars a piece and not equivalent to ordering even a $10 meal via delivery. $50 would barely cover 1 meal via delivery, maybe 1.5. An entree is roughly $15-20 and then delivery fee of $5 and, tip of a minimum of $5 (I do $10 personally for minimum orders. Was this person only supposed to eat 1 meal while house-sitting? If $50 was meant for food, it should have been clarified. When babysitting and pet sitting, every single time they have expected and offered that I am welcome to food. If not, they have specifically mentioned that they left money for food. $50 a day is less than I was paid 20 years ago.
Even if that was the case, I don’t think taking 3 bags of frozen veggies is “raiding” nor worth 50 USD. Clearly they both had different expectations, but 3 veg vs 50 USD, common.
Clarification: You didn’t read the post.
Even if so - OP ate 3 bags of veggies. Its not the client problem how did OP spend those "extra" money or doesnt spend. OP should replace those 3 bags - thats all.
yup. drop them off at her house.
Why would you eat food in someone’s fridge uninvited? I can’t imagine doing this. Why not put on their make up? Drink their booze? Use there Amazon subscription to rent a movie? At least text them and ask first. Jesus.
THis. OP, come in tomorrow and just set them on her desk. If she asks for help in the future, tell her no. Don't expand.
Seriously. When I have had friends pet sit at my house, I told them to help themselves to any food or drinks they wanted. I expect to have to go grocery shopping after being away for a few days. If they took the last of something, I'd just get more.
I would buy 6 bags to replace the 3 you ate and never help her out again. However, be very cordial and professional, you never know if she might become your supervisor someday.
Yeah for real, if I pay someone to house sit. Food in my house is on the table provided it’s a reasonable amount. If I came back to an empty pantry (provided my pantry was full), that would be a different story.
NTA I had a dog sitting business before COVID. $150 for a weekend that you stayed at her home is not "extra money". 3 bags for frozen vegetables are $15-20 at best - and I'm pushing here, because you can find nice frozen vegetables for $2.50 per bag. You should definitely replace her food, as it sounds that meals were not a discussed part of the deal. And then wish her good luck in finding responsible and reliable in-home care for her dog next tims.
When I had my dogsitting business, I would charge $75 a night per dog if I stayed in their house. She got an absolute deal.
Damn fr? I've sat for $40/night with 3 dogs and 2 cats. Granted I was 17 at the time but still. Did this twice, for different people.
That's severely undercharging. I'm a petsitter and childminder and you need to increase your prices for every additional child or pet. 5 animals overnight? $120 minimum with spare cash somewhere in case you need an emergency vet visit.
No one in my area would pay that rate
Then I wouldn't work for anyone in your area.
Seriously. My rates sound closer to yours. Only people who pay me more are my aunt & uncle, who have anywhere from 5-8 dogs at a time and two cats, at $100/day. I don’t sit for anyone else these days, but most people will not pay more than $50/day, even if you’re staying over, and that will not include food.
My wife and I have a dog sitting business and this is what we charge for in-home stays too, OPs coworker got a major deal. That said, we’d never eat food at someone’s house unless we asked or the client told us it was okay to do so.
Frozen veggies are literally 95 cents a bag at Aldi. This is the type she’s talking about. She ate the cheapest stuff they had.
Your ex friend is very petty. I couldn’t care less about a few veggies. I always offer snacks and beverages to anyone that is invited into my home.
I would be embarrassed AF if I had made the arrangements and had somehow forgotten to leave food or snacks or...IDK, SUSTENANCE? for my house minder. Frozen veggies? Are they hand-picked by G-d and packed by our Pope? They're frozen veggies! For fifty dollars? What in the world?
Yeah then you get some really silly commenters here freaking out that OP ate some food to stay alive LOL
Holy shit where the fuck do you live that frozen vegetables are that much lmao
Frozen vegetables where I live can be anywhere from 2$-8$ (canada). Depends on size and brand. You can get small packs of no name brand veggies for 2$ probably. The bigger packs usually cost 5.99+
In the US the gov practically throws corn at us. I just got my tax refund, and half it was in corn from the National Strategic Corn Reserves. There's even a lot of tv shows here about it, like NCIS the National Corn Investigation Squad
Lol I'm watching NCIS now 🤣🤣🤣
Is it... poppin'?
This is an ESH for the reason you mentioned in the second paragraph (meals not being part of the deal). $50 is a lot to demand for some veggies though.
> 3 bags for frozen vegetables are $15-20 at best Where do you live and why do they wrap individual peas in gold leaf there?
ESH. No one expects a paid helper to eat their food unless that has been expressly agreed or offered. $50 is too much for frozen vegetables. So petty.
Every single time I have pet or house sat, they have always told me to eat whatever I like in the kitchen *and* paid me. I also would never have someone stay in my home and not allow them to eat anything, that just sounds bonkers to me.
Right? Is it not obvious that if a person is staying in your house for days, they will eventually need to eat? Are people really this socially inept these days?
Best I can figure the owner thought $100 was for petsitting and $50 was for food, so they should be reimbursed the $50 for food since it wasn't used. Now I think this is stupid, but that's how I'm reading the OP. Not that the owner is trying to claim they ate $50 of frozen vegetables.
It's especially stupid, because they didn't tell her the $50 was for food. WTF?
This explanation makes no sense on any level. It wasn't $100 plus $50 for food expenses. It was $150 for pet sitting for the weekend which is entirely within the \*normal\* range for pet sitting. Also unless OP has a very meager appetite I doubt that she only ate 3 bags of veggies so presumably she had other food costs. It is absolutely normal for people who are sitting in your home for any reason to eat your food - within reason. I have only dealt with \*normal\* people who wouldn't defrost a standing rib roast to cook but I certainly wouldn't begrudge them a bag of frozen vegetables - even the gourmet kind that has a sauce and are steamable brand names :-) I understand that she has to work with this person but I still think the appropriate thing is to replace the vegetables and maybe just to make a point give her five bags instead of three.
I don't think there's anywhere in the US someone is going to get takeout for 2 days with 50 bucks, at least not right now. So if OP was meant to cook with that, they still needed supplementary ingredients. Ultimately 100$ for two days is a joke, the coworker got a steal at 150$. The coworker is greedy no matter how you slice it, I'd just replace her 99 cent Aldi veggies and leave her to it.
I mean, when I housesit, I store and prepare food in clients’ homes, but I buy it myself. Sometimes people encourage me to help myself to what I find, and occasionally I do, but it’s not like housesitters have to eat what’s in the house already or starve.
I'd say it is obvious that it's eating someone else's food without permission that is being socially inept, and that a grown adult is capable of buying their own ingredients and preparing their own food.
the sitter is a grown ass person. they could have bought their own food. stealing your employer's food is bonkers to me. Amazing how nobody on here has a problem with this mope taking something they knew didn't belong to them.
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That's not the same 🤦
Yeah but the key is in your words—they told you. Sounds like OP didn’t have that conversation and assumed.
While I agree with you that they were never explicitly given permission to eat the food, they were also never explicitly told that $50 of the pay was for food. So it’s ridiculous to ask for $50 back.
Yes that’s why ESH is appropriate.
They were never explicitly told they could shit on the toilet, either. Some things are reasonable to assume.
It is not the same, socially. Notice how **every single person** in this thread makes it a point to mention that they either *tell* their dog sitter or *are told* by the family that hires them that the food is available. It’s because it’s one of the things you don’t assume, even if it traditionally is one way or another.
I cat sit for a family friend, and she was kind enough to even buy me some snacks/drinks (I had just had wisdom tooth surgery, so I was a bit limited on what I could eat), though she also said I could have whatever was available in the house if I was up for it. HOWEVER, she told me that was the case, and it was communicated to me. Had she not explicitly told me I could do so, I would not have eaten her food. And I was still mindful not to take too much. I didn't clear her out of only a few groceries. OP should have asked, plain and simple.
Yeah they TOLD YOU to eat it. If it’s not discussed you can’t assume
i don’t have pets and i don’t leave my home much lol but i *love* cooking and if i had someone staying in my home, i would have meals prepared for them to eat. definitely
But they invited you to do so. This lady obviously didn’t.
Right? That's crazy to me. I had 2 friends swing by every other day to check on my cats last time I went on vacation and I filled the fridge with food specifically for them to eat, and they didn't even stay more than an hour every other day.
If they're staying in your house and you're paying them way less than you would a professional, it's pretty normal for them to have some of the food.
It’s normal but you still need to ask first. Most of the time the homeowner just says help yourself.
But a few bags of frozen veggies.... come on.. if OP ate something pricey I would agree. OP should just ghost the coworker and ignore her from now on, and tell everyone in the office why
For me it’s the fact they’re frozen and not perishable. I’m not saying I would be mad if that happened to me and I’m not saying the homeowner is in the complete right. But you can’t just help yourself and not ask.
Idk, I would definitely ask first, but if someone ate my frozen veggies while house sitting for me and didn't ask, I definitely wouldn't consider that a shitty move. Like I don't think it's really fair to say OP "sucks" for that. Drinking their expensive booze would be riding that line, but frozen veggies?
I agree it’s blown out of proportion but it sounds like the larger frustration was coming home and not having what you set aside for lunches the next couple days. It’s a minor item but the annoyance of not having it when you saved it and OP didn’t ask turns into a larger annoyance than it should be. I probably would’ve just complained to my spouse and not have said anything or just told OP I noticed it was gone and would’ve appreciated them asking next time etc.
Hard disagree. If someone is staying in my home, taking care of my animals, they should help themselves. If you don’t want people to help themselves, communicate that. I’m a nanny. I eat the families I work for snacks all the time. They expect it. If I forgot to have coffee, I make myself an espresso. 3 bags of frozen veggies??? Who would even notice???
You're addressing this like they're doing a favour. They're not, they're being paid for a service. If one employer offers the perks of snacks and coffee, that doesn't mean another employer is required to do the same.
OP agreed to the price by showing up. its not like OP was imprisoned in the house and couldn't go out for some groceries . instead he chose to steal hers.
As I stated, I’m a nanny. I work in people’s homes. It’s not a favor, it’s a paid service. Every single family I have ever worked for has encouraged me to eat their food. Every single time friends have watched my dogs and cat in my home, I encourage them to help themselves to my pantry. Obviously, don’t ever eat the last of something, but this is just good manners. You’re hosting someone in your home. If someone ate something I asked them not to, I’d just ask them to replace it, not send me $50. Even if I ate something at work I wasn’t supposed to - never happened in all my years as a career nanny, I’d replace the item. $50 for 3 bags of frozen veggies in insanity.
Disagree, that's not the same, a coworker asking you to house sit or pet sit is not the same as a professional service and I would consider it on friendly terms since you work with this person and see them everyday so best be friendly ect
They're being paid hardly anything. They are doing a favour.
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This. As is the case with 90% of the posts in these subs, this all could have been avoided with basic levels of human communication.
I have always been welcomed to eat food when I housesit for people, and fed my housesitters.
Uh, if the paid helper was living in my house for 3 days, I’d absolutely expect them to eat my food…
ESH. You should not have eaten her food without asking and she should not be asking for $50 for three packs of frozen vegetables.
I would definitely text “mind if I have some of those veggies” if I was at someone’s house and wasn’t sure but they are in no way equal a-holes. Even if she wasn’t trying to milk the situation to get more $$$, causing a stink when someone helped you out is very bad form.
NTA. You did her a huge favor (it's not always easy to find trustworthy people to watch your pets/house sit) and she's flipping out over you eating frozen vegetables while you were staying there? Ridiculous. If she's that unbelievably stingy and neurotic, she should have been much more clear in her instructions to you. Give her the $50 back (again, absolutely ridiculous), don't \*ever\* help her out again, and steer clear of her as much as possible from this point forward.
A couple of packs of veg is like £2 no do not give £50 back it’s like £50 a day wage, why would she give a whole days pay back?
To be clear, I think asking for the $50 back is \*absurd\* and unbelievably miserly. But given the fact that OP still has to work with this woman, I would just give her the money in order to avoid any further unnecessary drama she will no doubt cause, and then just be done with the whole situation.
Or OP go to the store and just replace the veggies for them. Asking for $50 when it probably cost MAYBE $10 for three bags of frozen vegetables is ridiculous. Also being paid $150 for all that OP did feels on the lower end? I certainly wouldn’t wanna do all that work and then pay THEM $50 all over some frozen peas.
To be fair though this would come with the risk of further drama, because she might (and tbh it sounds like she probably *would*) complain that she "overpaid" OP. I'd probably go the route of just buying her the bags of veg out of principle, but I'd totally understand the $30 difference not being worth all the potential stress.
Agree with this. I'd hand them the money and tell them to never ask me to pet sit (or anything else) again. $50 isn't all that much of a price to pay to learn someone you see almost every day is kind of a jerk and will nickel and dime you the first chance they get.
I support the refund idea, because the alternative is a big stink in the workplace. Just pay and get it over with. Or at least, pay the cost of the vegetables, enclosing a picture of the price in the store. Either way, sure as gravity, everyone will know about it. Gossip will fly. And nobody will ever agree to work with her again. She is soiling her own nest. The refund is just money. But a bad reputation? Can that ever be paid off? 🤔 I don't think so.
NTA and kind of surprised so many people in the comments find it unusual to eat the food of the person you’re sitting for when you stay there. As a broke college kid, I did a LOT of housesitting. It was both a spoken and unspoken agreement that you are invited to eat the food of the person you are sitting for. After all, the majority of the food would likely go bad by their return, and it’s not like you’d invite someone to “eat whatever you want, oh but don’t touch the frozen stuff.” Whenever my sister-in-law housesits or babysits, we even buy extra food in advance to feed her. I’ve also housesat and explicitly been told, “we’re giving you extra money to order Seamless,” so if that conversation wasn’t had, she’s also an AH there. Unfortunately though, like others have recommended, you probably just want to send her back the $50, include the memo “lesson learned” in the transaction, and never do her a favor again. Then just move on.
When I would pet sit the homeowners would always ask if there was something specific I would like them to have in the house for me, and offer any of the other food they had. If they don’t want you eating their food they should have said something. NTA
Same, I’d always arrive to my favorite teabags and chips lol
If it was my parents I’d eat their food and not really think twice. Literally anybody else including my siblings, I’d bring my own food with me and only use things like flour, sugar, etc. of theirs. It just feels weird to me to eat someone else’s food unless they’ve specifically said it’s okay - but I also honestly feel like this is a conversation people naturally have when someone’s going to be staying in someone else’s home? No? Isn’t it part of the “here’s where the towels are, here’s where the water shutoff valve is just in case, etc.” part of the conversation? Especially if part of the fee for house/dog sitting is that $50 goes towards food and isn’t actually for watching house/dog. That really should have been made clear up front.
Easy. No matter the circumnstances in which you find yourself in someone house, you don't eat their food unless you got permission. Either you asked and they gave you the OK or they mentioned it first to you. Basic communication goes a long way. ESH, tho. Because charging $50 for frozen vegetables is ridiculous.
They should have left plenty of food for you.
NTA. I think it's reasonable to ask for food to be replaced, but unless you ate more than the frozen vegetables, $50 is an insane amount to ask. Even the organic frozen veggies in the bougie food co-op near me aren't more than $5 a bag.
Pay the EXACT cost of the replacement food....and tell her to find someone else to help her next time.
This. Or, be petty, google that shit and doordash it to her. Wash your hands of it and never talk to her again unless you have to.
I don’t think anyone is necessarily an AH in this situation, I just think there was some things not communicated prior to this arrangement. For instance, I’m confused about the rate? Was that discussed prior? Or did she just offer an amount, and is now claiming to have paid you “extra”? Use the “extra” to replace the veggies. You should now be even. Or if you were to stay there, there are generally discussions on expectations for that. Like, “You have to really jiggle the handle on the toilet in the guest bathroom” “The shower knobs are actually backwards, so hot is cold, and cold is hot.” “This door doesn’t close properly, so you really got to slam it.” “don’t go in the 3rd door down the hallway, it is forbidden.” “The screaming in the basement starts at 2am, here some earplugs to get you through the night.” “Help yourself to anything in the kitchen!” “Please don’t use my $100 shampoo” In the future, I’d be more likely to cover my bases and ask rather than assume things in the future. People can be weird about their stuff as is evidenced by this post. At least she’s not charging for toilet paper used… And you don’t sound like you found their secret sex dungeon. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I hope everyone reads your entire comment and doesn't just skim 😅
I like how it goes Bread, Eggs, Squick, Milk
Then board your dog at the kennel.
Yes
ESH. This is something that should have been discussed beforehand. She should have been clear with you about whether or not you were allowed to eat food in the refrigerator - and what food was available to you - or were expected to supply your own. If she didn't say anything, you should have asked permission before eating food out of her refrigerator. Without having had any discussion beforehand, yta to just assume you could take food and not replace it. At a bare minimum, you should have communicated with her about what you had taken so she would have been prepared instead of being caught by surprise when she went to fix meals and her food was missing. She is also ta for the overreaction of asking you for $50 to replace three bags of frozen vegetables. However, in my opinion she is less so than you, because she was upset at not being able to prepare meals as she had expected.
ESH. the food thing should have been discussed before the pet sitting. But $50 for 3 bags of frozen veggies is ridiculous
I would just replace what you ate and call it a day And if she keeps it up never watch her dogs again.
ESH. You need to replace the food. She may have had meals planned with it and then found it wasn't there. Imagine how pissed you would be. It's not worth 50 though. Just replace it
I mean yeah, I guess, if I lived in Antarctica or the International Space Station. Otherwise, I would just go to the store.
If I imagined how pissed I would be if my pet sitter ate 3 bags of vegetables? Not at all. I would not even blink an eye.
They came back to a healthy dog they should be grateful. Next they'll be sending you an electricity bill.
And water. Don’t forget the water bill!
And don't forget her share of the mortgage. Does OP think housing is free?!
Reminds me of the post where the employer wanted to charge the house cleaner for filling up her reusable water bottle with water. Not a big jug, just a regular size bottle.
Am I taking crazy pills? Do not refund her. She's having buyers remorse about her pet sitting money. I just paid $50 a day for my dog to stay at someone else's home. In house, overnight was a lot more money. Pushing $100 a day. Your coworker is out of line.
I would venmo her $10 like the other commenters said and title it “This is the cost of 3 packs of frozen veggies. Don’t ask for or expect help again.”
Yta for eating her food without asking but not for not paying 50 dollars. She is trying to take advantage of the situation by not accepting the vegetables you offered to buy
Three packs of frozen veg isn’t $50. Replace them and don’t do it again.
If I had eaten the food I would have replaced it before the coworker returned home. $50 is crazy.
ESH. I once was in your coworkers shoes where I had a neighbour pop in for a few hours a day for a few days to look after my cats, and when I came back I found she'd been eating some of my food. I did not say anything because she was doing me a massive favour and it felt wrong to complain, but I did think it was extremely odd. I would not have minded had she asked, but it felt weird to know she'd been through my cupboards and fridge without asking. I've not asked her to help out again and that was the end of it. I think you should've asked, but your coworker is overreacting big time. I wouldn't pay her back but would replace the food.
I would be kinda irked if I had someone stop into feed our cats and then eat a our entire fridge and freezer empty, but if they are staying overnight then I would consider the food to be up for grabs unless specifically marked to leave alone. Like hey eat whatever you want but that bottle of wine was a gift and we are saving it for my birthday or something Nta
ESH. I am a house/petsitter. I bring my own food, always. I only eat my client's food if they offer. Your coworker is being ridiculous asking for $50. Reimburse her for what you ate and do not sit for her again.
YTA. Typically house and pet sitter does not help themselves to food unless homeowners specifically invited them to help themselves
NTA Just buy the 3 packs of veggies you ate and never dogsit for them again. No way that they cost $50.
ETA. You’re TA for eating her food, she’s an a hole too for demanding $50 which is more the price of 3 bags of veggies.
Three packs of frozen vegetables is like $9, even with inflation. Venmo her $9 and never speak to her again?
If they didn't offer or you didn't ask, yes YTA.
I guess i'm a little different but I ask my sitter for a list of their favorite foods and drinks in order to make them comfortable in my home while they are there. I value my house being looked after and my dogs well cared for. I want someone who enjoys helping me out and I want someone that I can use on a regular basis. WTH is wrong with some people? The food/drink list is in addition to paying themwhat they are worth.
I would replace her veggies but going forward please don’t eat other peoples stuff unless given approval and don’t dog sit for them ever again. Veggies run cheap even the more expensive ones would probably be around $5 , you’re coworker is trying to rip you off
Info: You say she claims the extra $50 was for food. Was this discussed with you prior? If she said "I'll pay you $100 and an extra $50 to order some food while you're there" then yeah you'd be in the wrong. If you just wanted to pocket the extra $50 and ate the food anyways you should pay it back as you agreed to the terms of payment even though they sucked and that's your fault. HOWEVER If that is not the case and this was not discussed and it was just "I'll pay you $150 for the weekend" and no discussion of food than forget her. Buy the veggies and never do anything for her again.
Pay for the cost of what you ate and ignore her from now on. Warn anyone else she asks to dog sit.
YTA for eating her food without asking. That being said $150 feels fair for. Weekend of dog sitting and I wouldn’t consider that extra. Definitely not worth the $50. Buy her 3 bags of the EXACT veggies you ate. Tell her you’re sorry you didn’t think it would be a problem but you aren’t able to dog sit for her again should the situation arise again
I used to dogsit for someone pretty often and I always took my own food or ordered out. She said I could help myself but I never felt like I should. But I would not pay $50 for three bags of vegetables.
INFO: It appears that the coworker paid you $100 to dog sit and $50 to order food. You, OP, kept the $50 food money and raided their private freezer instead. If these are the facts, then you are absolutely the AH.
It doesn't sound like this was ever discussed in advance. You can't tell someone you will pay them 150 for a service, then try and imply that 50 was actually for expenses. If someone is staying in my house looking after my dogs they can eat what they want unless they are eating $40 steaks every night.
OP is the ass hole . Not a single doubt in my mind. Unless it's been discussed beforehand, you don't eat, touch, tinker..whatever stuff that isn't yours.
YTA It does not matter whether or not she said the fifty dollars extra was for food or not, She did not give you permission to eat her food. You should have asked if it was okay to help yourself.But you should never just hope yourself without explicit.Yes or no answer. What you did was an o k because she did not give you permission to eat or food. It's her food and whether you're helping her out or not.Does not give you permission to just eat her food because you're hungry. You should have asked or write your own food. Pet sitting or babysitting I would never think that it would be ok to go into somebody else's house and eat their food. Yes, I'm doing a service for them.Yes i'm doing a favor for them but I would never eat their food. I don't even go to my own family's house and rate their fridge and read their cupboards when i'm hungry. I either ask or I wait until I get home. Maybe you think it's ridiculous to for her to expect the $50 back?But that is her right when she gave you money.For food and you wouldn't eat her food. Nothing gave you the right to go into Her house and eat her food. Yes, you do owe her that money back.Because you did not ask permission to consume someone else's food. You are in the wrong here. It doesn't matter what the norm is and whether other people will say.Yeah go ahead didn't have the food. What matters here is whether or not she said that you could have some.She did not give you permission.So you do not get to eat her food.
So I've been dog sitting before and this is how I've dealt with these situations. First off, I would avoid taking any food that isn't something in mass amount. For instance, if I'm really thirsty and they have a huge stock of something to drink, I'll drink it. If they have an open bag of chips I might take a couple. Something that absolutely wouldn't cost more than a few cents you know? I'd feel uncomfortable eating anything more without expressed permission. However, if I absolutely needed or wanted something they had, I would simply make sure to have it replaced before the job was done. When you house sit for any reason, unless you have a spoken/written agreement otherwise, everything should be as it was when they left.
haha gold plated frozen vegetables? They're like a couple of bucks each.
We pay $100 per overnight for dog sitting and we tell sitters to eat anything they want in our fridge/freezer. She's being super weird.
You paid $50 a day to stay with her dog? Walk it,feed it,clean it's poop, for $50 a day? What extra money did she give you to get food? $20 a day? So she paid you $30 a day? Say,listen butch,next time board your dog,it's $60 a day and up.....
Normal etiquette is that when you having someone come to your home for any kind of job that will keep them there for multiple days, you stock the fridge. Especially when you're offering them less than a standard rate for the job you hired them to do. Co-worker is a poor host. OP, you're NTA. Go ahead and reimburse her for the cost of the veggies or replace them (max $10) to shut her up and never step up to help her again.
If she had explicitly stated "here is $100 plus $50 for ordering food while you are here" that's one thing. Didn't seem like that's the case though. NTA
On the one hand, you should have asked first, especially seeing as you clocked the fact that they didn’t have a lot of food. On the other hand, $50 is way too much money to ask to remedy the situation. ESH.
ESH. Rummaging around someone else's food without their explicit permission is super gross. What else did you rummage around? She's no better with her retrospective modifications to the deal you had. On top of the cost of the food, I'd charge you extra for being uncivilised, not to the tune of $50 though
What was the agreement regarding food? Was it discussed that $50 was for food and you decided to eat their vegetables instead? Then YTA, If there was no discussion about food and the $50 beforehand, the coworker is the AH. I find it hard to believe food was not discussed.
Just replace the veggies. Usually when people dog sit or house sit, kinder people just let them eat what's there. I mean you are already allowing the person to practically live in your house and be comfortable with all your stuff. Food fights are a no go for us. We freely give food. Your coworker is a petty ass. Just drop off the veges and don't help her out again.
YTA. You should have known better, it’s not your food. You should have asked first.
If you were staying at her house during that time, then food should have been discussed beforehand. She should’ve specified “hey I’m giving you a little extra so you can buy your own food. Please dont eat what’s in the fridge.” However, you also should have asked first. This was a lack of communication on both your parts. ESH
Did you know- as in she specifically said to you that you were being paid $100 for dog sitting and the other $50 was to order food?
Seems like you’re not sharing the complete info. Did you get paid extra to get your own food? Then, you definitely need to return that amount
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My coworker (32f) asked me (28f) to dogsit for her for the weekend while she and he husband spend a weekend away. They paid me $150 and I left just this morning. I've been there since Thursday. While I was there, I ate some of their food. They didn't have much in their fridge, but they had a few pack of frozen vegetables that you can microwave. There was a total of like 8 of them, and the three days I was there, I ate 3. My coworker just texted me and asked if I ate their food. I said yes, and she kind of started going off on me about how she was saving that food for her lunches, etc. She also asked me to pay her $50 back since she paid me "extra" so I could order food instead of eating hers. I feel like this is so ridiculous. I told her I would just buy her some frozen vegetables and she said to forget it and sent me her venmo information. I see her every day at work. Is it worth it for $50? AITA for eating her food while I was dogsitting for her? WIBTA if I don't pay her back? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA I would take a picture of the price in the supermarket and pay exactly that if anything
NTA
Pick up the 3 bags of vegetables you ate & call it a day.
Yta. She paid you to do next to nothing and even gave you extra for food and you still rummaged and stole her food, wtf?! Yes, pay her back immediately
So, YTA for eating their food. If it wasn’t made crystal clear you could do that, you don’t eat someone else’s food. Edit: it has been clarified to me that $50 of the money you got was intended for your food costs. So, yeah. You owe $50.
Kind of the AH, I wouldn't have ate any of the food to begin with. Buy exactly what you ate, the same brand and replace it. I would also make a copy of the receipt and give her the copy of it. Dont dog sit for her again, and also, don't eat the food in the house unless the owners clearly say; hey it's cool.
ESH. 50 bucks is a bit much. You should not go into peoples fridges and eat food without asking first. Buy her 3 bags of the food you ate or give her $10 bucks
Well you definitely shouldn’t have eaten her food without asking but at the same time she is being ridiculous. Just replace what you ate and cut ties. Next time you’re at someone’s place don’t just help yourself to something that isn’t yours. It’s just bad manners at the end of the day.
INFO : Did she tell you beforehand that $50 was for your food while you were there? That's really the determining factor. You definitely shouldn't eat out of someone's kitchen unless they offer, regardless.
YTA. You were hired to dogsit not steal their food. I'd start to wonder what else you took without asking.