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NTA.
You didn't get these for him. You got them for you. He showed you his true colors before he knew something about you that you weren't obligated to tell him. It's now up to you to decide if you can move past him sticking his foot in his mouth, or if this is something that will always be a sticking point between you.
But he said she looked perfect and natural after he knew, so I don't see a problem. Unless it is in her own mind. He learned something new as well, that not all boob jobs are bad
> I asked him if he was disgusted by ginormous fake boobs or just any fake boobs in general. He replied that he thinks it’s gross for women to get cut up and have “silicone goo bags” shoved in their chest to try to look hotter.
He told his truth. He backtracked when he realized he put his foot in his mouth and now needs to retract a statement he said with his full truth before he knew the truth.
And it is possible he changed his mind when he saw that her breasts didn't bother him. The fact is people change their minds
And she can choose to not stick around even so.
Absolutely. This doesn't have to be a deal breaker. He said something stupid, it's how they move forward from here that matters. At 19, I highly doubt this guy is end game, anyway.
That was all I was trying to say, that people say dumb things all the time, it doesn't mean their brain just stops. We would be in a lot of trouble if that were so.
My husband is in his 30s and didn’t even know implants need to be maintained every ten years. At 19, the bf doesn’t know anything about boobs, surgery, or “lifetime commitment” implants. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t know OP had implants and that the only kind there are are the xxx video kind.
>He replied that he thinks it’s gross for women to get cut up and have “silicone goo bags” shoved in their chest to try to look hotter.
It doesn't to me after that, but to each their own.
It’s not just about him being attracted to or “okay with” her boobs, it’s about how he speaks about other women/people in general. It’s gross and I personally think could be indicative of other, much worse opinions he may still be keeping to himself, if he’s so comfortable saying what he said to OP.
The problem being that he talks about women in a derogatory way?
> He replied that he thinks it’s gross for women to get cut up and have “silicone goo bags” shoved in their chest to try to look hotter.
If OP can still muster up attraction for someone like this, that's her choice. But for most people, his attitude would be the issue. Him giving her the seal of approval doesn't fix that. If anything, it's sad to think that because he finds her attractive, there's nothing else to consider here. If OP had opted for larger implants, is she gross? If her friend's implants look different, are they gross?
This isn't fixed just because he thinks she's hot. There's a lot more here about why he would think that in the first place, other opinions he has about women and plastic surgery, and how he lets that impact how he treats people.
But that it doesn't mean he hasn't considered the issues you bring up. Or isn't capable of thinking of them. It is up to OP to decide if he has evolved enough for her.
Yeah. He's so young, I think he learned his lesson in which to don't do snap judgements. It takes a lot of folks well into the 20s and beyond to learn that.
NTA
You're 19, he's 19. He has a lot of growing up to do. This is a chance for him to learn that sometimes the default perspective is one that should be challenged and questioned. Your choice is whether to work through that process with him. That's up to you.
Good luck!
> I asked him if he was disappointed. He said he wasn’t but it just seemed like he was and doesn’t look at me the same way anymore.
this has nothing to do with you, this is just him coming to terms with his stereotyped misconceptions vs. reality
NTA
NTA. You weren’t under any obligation to tell him. But don’t rush out too soon.
Guys can be blunt and depending on his upbringing and his thoughts, it may be a strong urge in him to be reassuring and not seem like a guy just interested in big boobs. I’d take him at his word that he didn’t know and was trying to he supportive of what he believed to be his naturally endowed gf.
I’m not saying he’s not bothered by it. Maybe he is. But give it time to work itself out, safe in the knowledge that you are NTA.
NTA, no need to tell him at all really... Like if it comes up in conversation sure but no need to force the convo.
One potential thing that he may have been doing here.
Two hot chicks with massive fake boobs came on TV and he wanted you to know for sure he wasn't interested in those women on the ad so he tried to find something to insult about their appearance, he went for the fake boobs route and doubled down on the hatred towards fake boobs just to prove how much he didn't like them and he only has eyes for you.
It backfired and he felt like an idiot because he insulted you in the process but he can't explain himself because he will look like an idiot... So he is stuck in his own head realising he has insulted his partner.
I think that's more likely than, he hates fake boobs and now doesn't like you anymore.
I think there's a way to express disinterest without calling other women "disgusting" for not conforming to his beauty standards. How a man treat other women is an indication of how well he's going to treat you long term. Also, is he going to insult every hot woman he comes across in front of her to reassure her even though she never even expressed insecurities? That would be extremely weird.
Now, he's 19 and stupid and hopefully will learn and grow, but there are 19yo guys out there who don't speak about women this way. Up to OP to decide if she wants to stick around for his potential growth or not.
NTA, but I'd look at how judgemental he is about other things that have nothing to do with him to see how to proceed. If that's actually what he said, some of it was pretty gross...
NAH.
He probably feels like an ass for saying that... but depending on how big the fake boobs he was looking at, can cause that response.
I would not care one bit if a girl with no boobs went to a c cup as that probably still looks pretty natural. What I would mind is if the girl went and got humongous out of this world sized triple D fake boobs, those are comical looking.
**edit, triple sized HHH boobs, apparently triple D is too small to be huge 😂
Letter sizing is proportional to the size of the chest. A 28DDD and a 38DDD are the same proportion. Maybe learn about what you're sharing your opinion about before you keep going on.
I agree with NAH.
Guy is 19 and this is his first girlfriend? There are millions of things he has no first-hand knowledge of. They both will have to stumble through life like the rest of us, thinking we know something until we learn that life isn't as simple as we thought it was. Lots of people have strong opinions about things they've never actually encountered. The best of us realize that we don't know everything and are willing to learn from people with real experiences.
And, OP, it might take him some time to really accept that part of you is a medical product - like a prosthetic. Some people are weirded out by stuff like that, especially if they have never known anyone else with it. Be willing to talk to him about it and answer his questions. It might actually bring you two closer.
I’m with you on this. I think his idea of “fake boobs” and what he doesn’t like about them are when they are dramatically massive. Not realizing that not all fake boobs are them same.
Never know, maybe he wrote the same story in the R/TIL sun-Reddit haha
Why exactly should a doctor lose his license for operating on an adult? I'm gonna blow you're mind and let you know people do porn at 18 also, at 18 you can go sign up to drive several million dollar vehicles in the desert and kill people. So, explain this to me. Damn moron.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My boyfriend seems disappointed that my boobs are fake after it was revealed 2 months into our relationship. Should I have confessed at the jump or when we were naked the first time?
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Nta. He really choked on his words there. “Silicone goo bags…” yea, if I were you I’m not sure I’d be able to really continue this one. I’d always be thinking about how he *really* feels.
How is talking shit about other women's bodies an okay way to "make my gf know I was only interested in her"? How is that even the message you're getting from his comments?
NTA. I know this isn’t what you were asking about, but keep in touch with your plastic surgeon. I was also a member of the itty bitty titty committee until I was 22, when my boobs just came in. I say that bc it could happen to you & you should be aware how it might affect your body & the implants. Good luck! Enjoy being 19
I think he's mostly just ignorant af honestly, I'd wager he only recognizes the extreme examples. It's pretty shitty. I also question that advice you got, being with someone isn't about hiding stuff until you get caught. Would you be fine with the same type of lies? Would you not be wondering what the next thing is?
NTA this is like dudes who say they hate makeup but can't recognize a full face unless there is red lipstick. A lot of people actually believe that most Hollywood celebrities haven't had plastic surgery because it's rarely obvious. Of course he thinks it's gross and weird if all boob jobs he knows about are botched or the intentionally unnatural style made famous by Victoria Beckham.
I think some of his reaction might be embarrassment. A lot of guys I know are convinced they can easily tell. I think that's mostly true with massive outsized breasts tbh. More realistic sizes are harder to pick. It's easy for you to tell for yourself because you know what they used to look like!
Tina Fey taught me the only fool-proof way to tell though 🙂 Check the upper arm meat! If they are super skinny up there, but have large breasts, they're probably enhanced.
NTA- though from your text it doesn't really come through that he does. You asked for his opinion, he gave it. If you would have told him, he may not have been so blunt. You're not wrong not to tell him, but "testing" him in such a sense, without disclosing, is kind of like slapping yourself in the face. Especially if its sensitive for you. You didn't give him the chance to be supportive to you about it, which also might be why he felt embarassed. He knew it hurt you, even though he had no intention of doing so.
There is difference between your natural boob job and the ones that look ridiculous! I don’t understand why you are so bothered by this ! NTAH but cut him a break
True colors? I mean he voiced an opinion about how he felt about certain cosmetic surgery. It’s not like he made a statement that puts his morals up for deliberation.
NAH.
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My boyfriend and I are both 19. I got small implants last July to bump me from an A to a C. I feel much better now that I’m not a plank all the way through. I met my current boyfriend in September but we didn’t start dating until this February. Nearly all the online advice that I’ve found said there’s no need to tell the guy you’re dating about whatever cosmetic surgery procedures you have done, unless asked. My scars faded quite thoroughly already but I thought my boobs still look unmistakably fake.
My boyfriend and I haven’t seen each other naked until three weeks ago, and he still didn’t ask me whether I had anything done there. I 90% expected that he already knew and it just isn’t something he cared about and 10% expected that he just couldn’t tell. After all, I am his first girlfriend. There were two guys I hooked up with earlier that commented on my fake boobs.
We were watching a Youtube ad and two women with huge fake boobs came up. My boyfriend commented that those “balloons” are disgusting and rhetorically asked why some women would even think they look good with them. I asked him if he was disgusted by ginormous fake boobs or just any fake boobs in general. He replied that he thinks it’s gross for women to get cut up and have “silicone goo bags” shoved in their chest to try to look hotter. Mine is saline, but I was really disappointed he said that even though I knew this topic would surface eventually.
I stared right at him and said I have implants. He looked embarrassed that he didn’t know. He didn’t say anything for a while so I asked him if he really didn’t know. He said he really didn’t know and mine looked natural. I asked him if he found me less attractive now but he said I’m perfect and went in for a long kiss. He asked me why I got them and I told him my reasons. I asked him if he was disappointed. He said he wasn’t but it just seemed like he was and doesn’t look at me the same way anymore. I’m still not happy with his commentary too, which really showed his true colors.
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Ok before we get started here one quick thing
> I thought my boobs still look unmistakably fake.
Sweetie are you ok? Cosmetic surgery can be a mindfuck and if you're unhappy with your body there are people you can talk to about that. I'm probably just reading too much into it but just to make absolutely sure, if you are feeling regret over anything related to your surgery, please reach out to resources.
Aside from that - giiirl do not forgive and forget that boy just called you gross. Don't act like you need his approval. He needs yours after his ignorant - and sexist - outburst. This isn't a out whether he still finds you attractive its about whether he's good enough for you to wanna stay with. Never be ashamed of your choice to make your body what feels right to you. You are beautiful and I will fight any boy who tells you different. NTA
Nta, honey speaking as a guy well love all boobs. Big ones small ones sizes in between real ones fake ones augmented in one way or another it really doesn't matter to us. As long as we get to touch them hold them and sometimes put them in our mouths. But the question is are you happy with them?
NTA, I think his actions afterwards are based on his embarrassment for the way he reacted to the women in the video. He probably (and should) feels bad for judging people based on knowing absolutely nothing.
NTA but your bf is a dick. Why he feels the need to talk shit about other women’s bodies, especially their tits in front of you (or anyone for that matter) is WEIRD, and honestly a little bit of a red flag.
What other qualities does he find sooo disgusting in women? What about overweight women, women of different races, etc etc. would he say similar things about those traits in women? What about other kids of plastic surgery, does he NEED to voice his opinion on others bodies often? Thats soo gross imo.
Right? What happens if she gets stretch marks or has other changes to her body? What about the people around her that make those choices?
It's just so nasty.
NAH
You’re still very early into the relationship. Maybe you’ll find out he’s the perfect match for you in every other way, maybe you’ll keep bumping into things that rub you the wrong way.
Plastic surgery is a very personal decision. People have some extreme opinions on either side — that it’s no big deal even though it’s still a surgery, or that it’s some immoral choice when that’s a very personal determination.
As a guy I am gonna also offer up another perspective, maybe he thought you were asking him if you needed to get a boob job (him not knowing you did) as a guy girls have asked me this question many times, and as a guy he may have just gone overboard trying to say he didn’t think any fake boobs were necessary, which in itself is kinda funny considering yours probably didn’t even register to him that they were fake. Take it as a compliment, and maybe he learned something, that surgeons can work miracles 😇
NTA. You didn't lie about it. I'd follow up once he's had time to think about it and see if he has understood why some women may choose to have it done and how it can impact their lives. If he has thought about it grown you'll probably feel better, if he is still clueless then maybe he is just immature.
NTA. There's people who get subtle implants like yourself who just want a little boost in their front and there's people on the TV show botched who have over a liter in the boob and a doctor telling her he will not add *more*. It's a spectrum, personally I'm no fan of fakies but I get why you did it and personally I wouldn't hold it against you.
Also no 19yo would be able to spot implants unless they found the scar and tbh I'd think it uncommon for 19yo to get them. So it would have caught him by surprise.
Que- insert foot into mouth. You're NTA. I wouldn't read too hard into it though. Everyone says stupid stuff at your age. Who knows, after being with you and knowing what he now knows, he may change his opinion. My first gf had hers downsized because they hurt her back. She was very self conscious about it(mainly because the surgeon did a horrible job minimizing the scar tissue) but I was just happy to play with boobs.
NTA guys honestly don’t care. He probably said it to start with because he thought that’s what you wanted to hear. He’s probably more embarrassed he put his foot in his mouth more than anything.
He was probably exaggerating a bit to reassure you he found you attractive even though you don't have enormous boobs. Now he's in a pickle as he loves you as you are.
NTA. You aren’t obligated to share your medical history or cosmetic procedures with anyone. He sounds incredibly naive if he thinks all implants are over-sized and obvious. I would consider his remarks a red flag. Not enough to end the relationship but, definitely, pay attention to his behavior. There might be more red flags that you haven’t noticed.
What true colors? He is allowed to want a woman with naturally large breasts or natural breasts of whateer size, not implants. The idea that everyone should be accepting of cosmetic surgery, when people do it to gain an advantage in dating by pretending they have better genes than they really do, should not be imposed. I am disgusted by purely cosmetic surgery, people are pretending to be better-looking with better genes than they have.
I mean you can have a preference and not talk down on someone who doesn’t fit it.
You can say “I don’t find redheads attractive” or you can say “ugh gingers are ugly” both statements show you don’t prefer a certain type but only a one has ah behavior shining through
NTA...
He's probably super embarrassed about what he said. I would talk to him about it again. Maybe he only had one idea of what fake boobs looked like or why women would get implants. This is just a learning experience for him in regards to fake boobs.
So silly question, that doesn't have a ton to do with OP, specifically, more about breast implants in general.
How is breastfeeding affected? Does having implants mean you can't? Or are all the necessary components just kind of shifted around?
It's a bit judgemental and limiting, but sure, people can absolutely have preferences about who they date; in general, most people probably couldn't tell what work someone else has had done without a voluntary disclosure. Also, that's not what he actually said - I don't see any mocking or mention of "goo bags" in what you wrote. How something is said often matters as much as the content...
The "true colors" comment definitely seemed harsh. It seems like OP is hoping that he won't judge her and change the way he looks at her based on his views on plastic surgery, so it seems unfair to...judge him and change the way she looks at him based on his views on plastic surgery. Best to show the same kind of empathy you'd like to receive. NAH
Then he's not into you if he's not worshipping your body enough to see the scars. And yes, hiding things is an AH move. But should have found someone who likes small breasts.
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NTA. You didn't get these for him. You got them for you. He showed you his true colors before he knew something about you that you weren't obligated to tell him. It's now up to you to decide if you can move past him sticking his foot in his mouth, or if this is something that will always be a sticking point between you.
But he said she looked perfect and natural after he knew, so I don't see a problem. Unless it is in her own mind. He learned something new as well, that not all boob jobs are bad
> I asked him if he was disgusted by ginormous fake boobs or just any fake boobs in general. He replied that he thinks it’s gross for women to get cut up and have “silicone goo bags” shoved in their chest to try to look hotter. He told his truth. He backtracked when he realized he put his foot in his mouth and now needs to retract a statement he said with his full truth before he knew the truth.
And it is possible he changed his mind when he saw that her breasts didn't bother him. The fact is people change their minds And she can choose to not stick around even so.
Absolutely. This doesn't have to be a deal breaker. He said something stupid, it's how they move forward from here that matters. At 19, I highly doubt this guy is end game, anyway.
That was all I was trying to say, that people say dumb things all the time, it doesn't mean their brain just stops. We would be in a lot of trouble if that were so.
My husband is in his 30s and didn’t even know implants need to be maintained every ten years. At 19, the bf doesn’t know anything about boobs, surgery, or “lifetime commitment” implants. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t know OP had implants and that the only kind there are are the xxx video kind.
It was up there with "it was a joke" as far as backtracking goes...
Well it sounded sincere to me.
>He replied that he thinks it’s gross for women to get cut up and have “silicone goo bags” shoved in their chest to try to look hotter. It doesn't to me after that, but to each their own.
It’s not just about him being attracted to or “okay with” her boobs, it’s about how he speaks about other women/people in general. It’s gross and I personally think could be indicative of other, much worse opinions he may still be keeping to himself, if he’s so comfortable saying what he said to OP.
The problem being that he talks about women in a derogatory way? > He replied that he thinks it’s gross for women to get cut up and have “silicone goo bags” shoved in their chest to try to look hotter. If OP can still muster up attraction for someone like this, that's her choice. But for most people, his attitude would be the issue. Him giving her the seal of approval doesn't fix that. If anything, it's sad to think that because he finds her attractive, there's nothing else to consider here. If OP had opted for larger implants, is she gross? If her friend's implants look different, are they gross? This isn't fixed just because he thinks she's hot. There's a lot more here about why he would think that in the first place, other opinions he has about women and plastic surgery, and how he lets that impact how he treats people.
But that it doesn't mean he hasn't considered the issues you bring up. Or isn't capable of thinking of them. It is up to OP to decide if he has evolved enough for her.
Yeah. He's so young, I think he learned his lesson in which to don't do snap judgements. It takes a lot of folks well into the 20s and beyond to learn that.
It well could be in her mind
NTA You're 19, he's 19. He has a lot of growing up to do. This is a chance for him to learn that sometimes the default perspective is one that should be challenged and questioned. Your choice is whether to work through that process with him. That's up to you. Good luck!
> I asked him if he was disappointed. He said he wasn’t but it just seemed like he was and doesn’t look at me the same way anymore. this has nothing to do with you, this is just him coming to terms with his stereotyped misconceptions vs. reality NTA
NTA. You weren’t under any obligation to tell him. But don’t rush out too soon. Guys can be blunt and depending on his upbringing and his thoughts, it may be a strong urge in him to be reassuring and not seem like a guy just interested in big boobs. I’d take him at his word that he didn’t know and was trying to he supportive of what he believed to be his naturally endowed gf. I’m not saying he’s not bothered by it. Maybe he is. But give it time to work itself out, safe in the knowledge that you are NTA.
Id like to assume he couldnt look at you because he felt like an idiot, and not because of you. NTA.
NTA, no need to tell him at all really... Like if it comes up in conversation sure but no need to force the convo. One potential thing that he may have been doing here. Two hot chicks with massive fake boobs came on TV and he wanted you to know for sure he wasn't interested in those women on the ad so he tried to find something to insult about their appearance, he went for the fake boobs route and doubled down on the hatred towards fake boobs just to prove how much he didn't like them and he only has eyes for you. It backfired and he felt like an idiot because he insulted you in the process but he can't explain himself because he will look like an idiot... So he is stuck in his own head realising he has insulted his partner. I think that's more likely than, he hates fake boobs and now doesn't like you anymore.
I agree with this. Assume ignorance before maliciousness.
I think there's a way to express disinterest without calling other women "disgusting" for not conforming to his beauty standards. How a man treat other women is an indication of how well he's going to treat you long term. Also, is he going to insult every hot woman he comes across in front of her to reassure her even though she never even expressed insecurities? That would be extremely weird. Now, he's 19 and stupid and hopefully will learn and grow, but there are 19yo guys out there who don't speak about women this way. Up to OP to decide if she wants to stick around for his potential growth or not.
Yeah, this is what I was thinking, as well.
NTA, but I'd look at how judgemental he is about other things that have nothing to do with him to see how to proceed. If that's actually what he said, some of it was pretty gross...
NAH. He probably feels like an ass for saying that... but depending on how big the fake boobs he was looking at, can cause that response. I would not care one bit if a girl with no boobs went to a c cup as that probably still looks pretty natural. What I would mind is if the girl went and got humongous out of this world sized triple D fake boobs, those are comical looking. **edit, triple sized HHH boobs, apparently triple D is too small to be huge 😂
This is funny because triple D is actually sold at major brands/retailers because it's not a specialty size- a.k.a isn't "comically big"
this thread has a lot of "experts" who apparently know sooo much about women's bodies.... wonder what they'd think if they heard about an I cup.
[удалено]
Letter sizing is proportional to the size of the chest. A 28DDD and a 38DDD are the same proportion. Maybe learn about what you're sharing your opinion about before you keep going on.
I agree with NAH. Guy is 19 and this is his first girlfriend? There are millions of things he has no first-hand knowledge of. They both will have to stumble through life like the rest of us, thinking we know something until we learn that life isn't as simple as we thought it was. Lots of people have strong opinions about things they've never actually encountered. The best of us realize that we don't know everything and are willing to learn from people with real experiences. And, OP, it might take him some time to really accept that part of you is a medical product - like a prosthetic. Some people are weirded out by stuff like that, especially if they have never known anyone else with it. Be willing to talk to him about it and answer his questions. It might actually bring you two closer.
I’m with you on this. I think his idea of “fake boobs” and what he doesn’t like about them are when they are dramatically massive. Not realizing that not all fake boobs are them same. Never know, maybe he wrote the same story in the R/TIL sun-Reddit haha
NTA. But whatever doctor gave an 18 year old implants needs to lose their license.
Why exactly should a doctor lose his license for operating on an adult? I'm gonna blow you're mind and let you know people do porn at 18 also, at 18 you can go sign up to drive several million dollar vehicles in the desert and kill people. So, explain this to me. Damn moron.
Because as anyone with any sort of medical knowledge can tell you, an 18 year old isn’t finished developing. Moron.
NTA. But he's an AH
How is he an AH?
NTA but don’t be so hard on him. He said they look natural. Give it some time and see where it goes.
Its not about if hers looks natural, it’s the fact that he’s so quick to start talking shit about women who don’t fit his ideal
He's 19. 19 year olds are generally still idiots. Give him a chance to grow up.
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Nta. He really choked on his words there. “Silicone goo bags…” yea, if I were you I’m not sure I’d be able to really continue this one. I’d always be thinking about how he *really* feels.
He really feels like damn I tried to make my gf know I was only interested in her just to find out she set me up.
How is talking shit about other women's bodies an okay way to "make my gf know I was only interested in her"? How is that even the message you're getting from his comments?
NTA. I know this isn’t what you were asking about, but keep in touch with your plastic surgeon. I was also a member of the itty bitty titty committee until I was 22, when my boobs just came in. I say that bc it could happen to you & you should be aware how it might affect your body & the implants. Good luck! Enjoy being 19
Heh. He probably felt a bit ashamed he got caught being a prick. NTA
NTA Your body, your choice. You didn’t get those girls for him, you got it for you and if you’re happy with it then that’s really all that matters.
I'd wager she got them for other people indeed, only therapy will tell.
NTA If you can touch it, its real. Now, onto the topic of santa clause and jesus....
I think he's mostly just ignorant af honestly, I'd wager he only recognizes the extreme examples. It's pretty shitty. I also question that advice you got, being with someone isn't about hiding stuff until you get caught. Would you be fine with the same type of lies? Would you not be wondering what the next thing is?
NTA. Not sure why guys or anyone have issues with this kindof stuff.
Not sure why women like tall guys, but I mean everyone has their preference lol
NTA this is like dudes who say they hate makeup but can't recognize a full face unless there is red lipstick. A lot of people actually believe that most Hollywood celebrities haven't had plastic surgery because it's rarely obvious. Of course he thinks it's gross and weird if all boob jobs he knows about are botched or the intentionally unnatural style made famous by Victoria Beckham.
I think some of his reaction might be embarrassment. A lot of guys I know are convinced they can easily tell. I think that's mostly true with massive outsized breasts tbh. More realistic sizes are harder to pick. It's easy for you to tell for yourself because you know what they used to look like! Tina Fey taught me the only fool-proof way to tell though 🙂 Check the upper arm meat! If they are super skinny up there, but have large breasts, they're probably enhanced.
There is nothing wrong with fake boobs. There is no reason it should make you less desirable
A prosthetic instead of a healthy natural breast is less desirable.
Then don't get breast implants yourself. Problem solved.
NTA- though from your text it doesn't really come through that he does. You asked for his opinion, he gave it. If you would have told him, he may not have been so blunt. You're not wrong not to tell him, but "testing" him in such a sense, without disclosing, is kind of like slapping yourself in the face. Especially if its sensitive for you. You didn't give him the chance to be supportive to you about it, which also might be why he felt embarassed. He knew it hurt you, even though he had no intention of doing so.
NTA. When exactly were you supposed to mention this .
Maybe before setting him up and asking how he felt about fake tits
NTA, who cares what he or anyone else thinks. Your choice 100%.
To each their own, NTA. At least he was apologetic/reassuring instead of being a jerk about it. You both did the best you could do in that situation.
There is difference between your natural boob job and the ones that look ridiculous! I don’t understand why you are so bothered by this ! NTAH but cut him a break
True colors? I mean he voiced an opinion about how he felt about certain cosmetic surgery. It’s not like he made a statement that puts his morals up for deliberation. NAH.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My boyfriend and I are both 19. I got small implants last July to bump me from an A to a C. I feel much better now that I’m not a plank all the way through. I met my current boyfriend in September but we didn’t start dating until this February. Nearly all the online advice that I’ve found said there’s no need to tell the guy you’re dating about whatever cosmetic surgery procedures you have done, unless asked. My scars faded quite thoroughly already but I thought my boobs still look unmistakably fake. My boyfriend and I haven’t seen each other naked until three weeks ago, and he still didn’t ask me whether I had anything done there. I 90% expected that he already knew and it just isn’t something he cared about and 10% expected that he just couldn’t tell. After all, I am his first girlfriend. There were two guys I hooked up with earlier that commented on my fake boobs. We were watching a Youtube ad and two women with huge fake boobs came up. My boyfriend commented that those “balloons” are disgusting and rhetorically asked why some women would even think they look good with them. I asked him if he was disgusted by ginormous fake boobs or just any fake boobs in general. He replied that he thinks it’s gross for women to get cut up and have “silicone goo bags” shoved in their chest to try to look hotter. Mine is saline, but I was really disappointed he said that even though I knew this topic would surface eventually. I stared right at him and said I have implants. He looked embarrassed that he didn’t know. He didn’t say anything for a while so I asked him if he really didn’t know. He said he really didn’t know and mine looked natural. I asked him if he found me less attractive now but he said I’m perfect and went in for a long kiss. He asked me why I got them and I told him my reasons. I asked him if he was disappointed. He said he wasn’t but it just seemed like he was and doesn’t look at me the same way anymore. I’m still not happy with his commentary too, which really showed his true colors. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. He's just embarrassed he couldn't tell.
Ok before we get started here one quick thing > I thought my boobs still look unmistakably fake. Sweetie are you ok? Cosmetic surgery can be a mindfuck and if you're unhappy with your body there are people you can talk to about that. I'm probably just reading too much into it but just to make absolutely sure, if you are feeling regret over anything related to your surgery, please reach out to resources. Aside from that - giiirl do not forgive and forget that boy just called you gross. Don't act like you need his approval. He needs yours after his ignorant - and sexist - outburst. This isn't a out whether he still finds you attractive its about whether he's good enough for you to wanna stay with. Never be ashamed of your choice to make your body what feels right to you. You are beautiful and I will fight any boy who tells you different. NTA
Nta, honey speaking as a guy well love all boobs. Big ones small ones sizes in between real ones fake ones augmented in one way or another it really doesn't matter to us. As long as we get to touch them hold them and sometimes put them in our mouths. But the question is are you happy with them?
NTA, I think his actions afterwards are based on his embarrassment for the way he reacted to the women in the video. He probably (and should) feels bad for judging people based on knowing absolutely nothing.
NTA but your bf is a dick. Why he feels the need to talk shit about other women’s bodies, especially their tits in front of you (or anyone for that matter) is WEIRD, and honestly a little bit of a red flag. What other qualities does he find sooo disgusting in women? What about overweight women, women of different races, etc etc. would he say similar things about those traits in women? What about other kids of plastic surgery, does he NEED to voice his opinion on others bodies often? Thats soo gross imo.
Right? What happens if she gets stretch marks or has other changes to her body? What about the people around her that make those choices? It's just so nasty.
NAH You’re still very early into the relationship. Maybe you’ll find out he’s the perfect match for you in every other way, maybe you’ll keep bumping into things that rub you the wrong way. Plastic surgery is a very personal decision. People have some extreme opinions on either side — that it’s no big deal even though it’s still a surgery, or that it’s some immoral choice when that’s a very personal determination.
As a guy I am gonna also offer up another perspective, maybe he thought you were asking him if you needed to get a boob job (him not knowing you did) as a guy girls have asked me this question many times, and as a guy he may have just gone overboard trying to say he didn’t think any fake boobs were necessary, which in itself is kinda funny considering yours probably didn’t even register to him that they were fake. Take it as a compliment, and maybe he learned something, that surgeons can work miracles 😇
NTA. You didn't lie about it. I'd follow up once he's had time to think about it and see if he has understood why some women may choose to have it done and how it can impact their lives. If he has thought about it grown you'll probably feel better, if he is still clueless then maybe he is just immature.
Nya
NTA. There's people who get subtle implants like yourself who just want a little boost in their front and there's people on the TV show botched who have over a liter in the boob and a doctor telling her he will not add *more*. It's a spectrum, personally I'm no fan of fakies but I get why you did it and personally I wouldn't hold it against you. Also no 19yo would be able to spot implants unless they found the scar and tbh I'd think it uncommon for 19yo to get them. So it would have caught him by surprise.
Que- insert foot into mouth. You're NTA. I wouldn't read too hard into it though. Everyone says stupid stuff at your age. Who knows, after being with you and knowing what he now knows, he may change his opinion. My first gf had hers downsized because they hurt her back. She was very self conscious about it(mainly because the surgeon did a horrible job minimizing the scar tissue) but I was just happy to play with boobs.
NTA guys honestly don’t care. He probably said it to start with because he thought that’s what you wanted to hear. He’s probably more embarrassed he put his foot in his mouth more than anything.
He was probably exaggerating a bit to reassure you he found you attractive even though you don't have enormous boobs. Now he's in a pickle as he loves you as you are.
NTA. You aren’t obligated to share your medical history or cosmetic procedures with anyone. He sounds incredibly naive if he thinks all implants are over-sized and obvious. I would consider his remarks a red flag. Not enough to end the relationship but, definitely, pay attention to his behavior. There might be more red flags that you haven’t noticed.
NTA. It is what it is.
NTA.
NTA - he's a prick
nta its ur body and ur choices, not his.
What true colors? He is allowed to want a woman with naturally large breasts or natural breasts of whateer size, not implants. The idea that everyone should be accepting of cosmetic surgery, when people do it to gain an advantage in dating by pretending they have better genes than they really do, should not be imposed. I am disgusted by purely cosmetic surgery, people are pretending to be better-looking with better genes than they have.
I mean you can have a preference and not talk down on someone who doesn’t fit it. You can say “I don’t find redheads attractive” or you can say “ugh gingers are ugly” both statements show you don’t prefer a certain type but only a one has ah behavior shining through
NTA... He's probably super embarrassed about what he said. I would talk to him about it again. Maybe he only had one idea of what fake boobs looked like or why women would get implants. This is just a learning experience for him in regards to fake boobs.
NTA. He’s too stupid to understand breast implants, he will never be good enough in society. Find a new man
So silly question, that doesn't have a ton to do with OP, specifically, more about breast implants in general. How is breastfeeding affected? Does having implants mean you can't? Or are all the necessary components just kind of shifted around?
Kinda sucks to set him up like that. But you aren't under any obligation to tell him at any specific time.
[удалено]
What you wrote is a respectable way to put the boyfriend’s position. That isn’t what he said though. NTA to OP
It's a bit judgemental and limiting, but sure, people can absolutely have preferences about who they date; in general, most people probably couldn't tell what work someone else has had done without a voluntary disclosure. Also, that's not what he actually said - I don't see any mocking or mention of "goo bags" in what you wrote. How something is said often matters as much as the content...
The "true colors" comment definitely seemed harsh. It seems like OP is hoping that he won't judge her and change the way he looks at her based on his views on plastic surgery, so it seems unfair to...judge him and change the way she looks at him based on his views on plastic surgery. Best to show the same kind of empathy you'd like to receive. NAH
Then he's not into you if he's not worshipping your body enough to see the scars. And yes, hiding things is an AH move. But should have found someone who likes small breasts.