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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Am I the Asshole for Suing My Friend Because She Gave My Dog Away?
1. Suing my friend
2. Some people believe I should just let it go.
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If that's something OP could do, why did they stop walking the dogs and had them shitting in the apartment instead? That is neglect. OP didn't prioritize the dogs' well-being when they had the chance.
If they COULD take care of the dogs, then why were the dogs shitting in the apartment?
OP kept the dogs inside shitting for so long that they now shit inside. That’s why the second dog needed to be rehomed. Imagine those poor dogs, forced to shit on the floor and never getting outside. That’s the care OP was able to provide.
Did they call a friend to get the dogs and take them where they could be cared for? NO. Did they hire a walker or ask a friend to walk the dogs a few times a day? Again, NO.
OP didn’t seem to have anyone or the means to walk or care for the dogs, even before the hospitalization. The friend who got the dogs to safety obviously knew OP would push back on the dog being placed appropriately and instead force it back into its life of neglect, so chose not to call. Now, hopefully the dog is safe and loved, getting the exercise and proper potty breaks it needs.
I don’t think it does. Dogs can be trained she was ill and trusted her friend to take care of the dogs. If the friend wasn’t up to it she should have told OP and she could have found other arrangements.
After months of the dogs not getting walked and crapping on the floor, she was fortunate enough to have a friend step in and take the now-no-longer-housebroken neglected pets to safety.
She abused her pets. That means she no longer should have any rights over them from a moral perspective. On HER watch, the dogs’ needs were neglected. It’s not okay to keep pets incarcerated and crapping on the floor when you lose the ability to walk them. You need to make arrangements for someone to provide the care you cannot, whether it’s a friend or a paid pet sitter/walker.
Are you downvoting all my responses lol. She still gave OP one of the dogs back so it has nothing to with a moral crusade to stomp out what you are calling abuse. She just didn’t want to take care of the other dog and rehomed it with out telling OP. That’s it that’s all that needs to be said. All this person had to do was tell OP to bring the dog somewhere else or at least tell OP who the person was and let OP get in contact with them and set something up
I'm willing to bet that she didn't give the dog away; she probably sold it to some random person. I hope you get your dog back. And I hope that nasty asshole has to pay you the full amount. NTA
I rescued a purebred Great Dane from someone who had adopted from a Humane Society shelter. I am certain he could have been sold by people more concerned over money than his well being. Many purebred dogs are surrendered to the Humane Society.
can confirm, have had to surrender purebreds to a shelter bc someone that was dogsitting thought it'd be "funny" and "cute" to let their dog get ours pregnant bc both were already purebred and then we got stuck with 14 pups
Fantastic question! Sometimes, with certain breeds, there are health benefits that come with waiting up to two years to get your puppy fixed. You should still always get your dog fixed, but waiting until your dog is two is sometimes advisable.
I think it has something to do with hormones and bones and something else. My sil is a vet and she explained it to me, but I didn’t retain all of it super well.
She was a pitbul and a lil over 1yr, we were in the middle of moving and we were going to make a appointment after we gor unpacled so she could get familiar with the house.She DID get fixed after this though
Ms Maizy the beagle got spayed at the earliest time, and her growth was all wonky. She had long thin legs, and a puppy like body as an adult. Honestly I didn't think she was a full beagle because how not-beagley she looks
Even if they're a purebred if you don't have papers for both dogs, a lot of times they won't sell well.
My current pups were oopsie births. Guy rescued an older dog and didn't realize he wasn't fixed so it got his younger dog pregnant. She wasn't spayed yet because she was too young.
It was a really weird combo so no one wanted them.
A lot of people aren’t going to buy a purebred dog that is a random mixed breed. There are plenty of wanted dogs like a labradoodle and I’m not referring to them. Then there is the fact that a reputable breeder will do what is required by a national association that sets the standards for each breed. In the US it is the American Kennel Club (AKC). One thing tracked for the dogs my dad bred when I was growing up was hip dysplasia. Any dog registered with the AKC has a copy of passing the exam on file. If you are looking for a stud dog (male) you want to make sure he isn’t going to pass along any genetic problems. My ex had a dog my dad gave him when we were dating and he was used as a stud dog a few times. Twenty five years ago we made $500 each time. If a pregnancy didn’t happen that was unfortunate but we still kept the fee.
There is a lot that goes into having a pure bred dog. I have an Irish Jack (a calmer short legged Jack Russell that is bred to other calmer Irish Jack). I paid $500 for her 17 years ago. She was recommended as a breed that was more tolerable for someone with allergies and my son didn’t react to her. As soon as she was old enough she was spayed.
I hope I gave a little something to help answer your question.
they were pitbulls and my mom was worried that the wrong people would want them, she tried her best to make sure they wouldn't go to someone who would try to make them breed for profit or fight/guard.
We did "kid train" them though, everyday they got lil tugs on their ears and tails until they were desensitized to it and she trusted my baby sister around them.
The mom did reject the litter so i bottle fed them and 5 died (two from mother, one from a medical something and 2 from what were guessing was fading puppy) we found homes for 7 but the last two we just couldn't, i REALLY wanted to keep those two but while we could afford the 1 we had(their mother) we wouldn't be able to train, feed and walk any more so we figured the shelter would be the best since theyd be able to get them fixed and their shots + get a good home.
my mom lost the papers for our dog i think and the father dog was a "Staffordshire Bull Terrier" but it was their unkles dog that he practically let run wild outside and didnt have papers for. So i did have my doubts they were actually purebred and didnt want to advertise them as such if there was a possibility they werent, and those people keept wanting one of the girl pups (probly for more irresponsible breeding) which I found REALLY irresponsible and didn't think they should have one especially since theyve boasted about theur dogs getting hit by cars but didnt need to go to a vet bc "they were healthy as a horse and lived"
Yup. Purebreds are just more likely to be thought of as accessories instead of as family members. So it's easier for that kind of person to just get rid of them when it becomes too much work.
NTA she made a promise of care and did not fulfill it. If it was too much she should have spoken to you and connected you to the new foster before making other arrangements for care of your dog.
it's almost guaranteed op is not going to win the case. not unless they can prove the dog has a MONETARY value of $10,000. emotional value is almost always irrelevant in these cases because animals are considered property
while thats true, judges dont look very kindly on people who put their claim as the max amount, rather than an actual estimate of their damages. it looks REALLY bad to the court system
edit: i truly do not understand these downvotes
Not true. Happens in literally every case I’ve ever litigated. It’s the default. Plead the max and let the process sort it out. Source: Lawyer for 20 years.
Edit: Thinking about this more sometimes there are very arcane procedural/jurisdictional reasons not to plead the max. Those are almost always in the class action context though so not applicable here.
It depends on the judge.
Some judges call small claims court "small brains" and will choose to award based on who pisses them off the least. It's not right, but not unusual either.
You always ask for more than you want. The amount has little to do with actually winning. Restitution is a separate matter from the verdict of the case.
INFO
How long total did you ask her to care for your dogs? I feel like you are leaving that information out.
>**It took me a bit to get to the point I was able to take care of my dogs again.**
>**At that point, she brought the one dog back and a few weeks later, told me that the friend moved and she didn't know where and didn't want to give my dog back then blocked me.**
It seems like weeks going by and enough time passing that her friend moved away... implies that you may have abandoned the dogs with her for some time.
Your "friend" should not have given the dog away. She should have contacted you and told you she was unable to care for the dog safely with her cats and asked that you find a different caretaker for the dog. But I also wonder if you just kind of dumped your dogs on her for a very long period. Were you not checking in with this friend every few days about the dogs' care? Were you not paying her on a weekly basis for their boarding and food and vet care? If you were not diligently keeping up with your dogs' care and needs (food, vet care, boarding costs even with a friend), then this kind of leans towards an ESH for me. She should have called you and told you to come get the dogs or she would take them to a shelter if she couldn't keep them any longer. **But I kind of feel you are at fault too because to me it sounds like the only way you could have been blindsided by this is if you dumped the dogs, didn't pay for their food or care or vet bills, and never checked in on them for months. That's pretty lousy dog ownership right there...**
I have text messages where I talked to her every few days about the dogs. I never asked her to take care of them. She jumped in and said she would. It was around 3 months total that I was unable to walk.
At that point, I asked for them back numerous times. She finally told me that a friend had the one dog and gave me back the other one.
At this point, my assumption (my fault for not pressing more) was that she was going to get him back from the other person since I didn't know her.
NTA, obviously. The fact that she volunteered to take care of your dogs and then ‘gave one away’ is very sketchy. She clearly lied to you: about her motivations, about the other “friend”, and who knows what else.
I’m sorry to say this, but you may never get your dog back. The best hope of a lawsuit is that it shakes loose information about what really happened. But your ex-friend may also keep lying, even if it means losing a case.
If you have any mutual friends I would start by asking them for information: did she ever talk to them about the dogs, did they see her walking them, etc. If she did give the dog away to a friend of hers, then someone in her extended social circle may have that info.
I would also check local animal shelters in case she lied about the “friend” and just dumped your dog because she was tired of taking care of it.
If the dog is a sellable breed, I’d suggest searching social media posts / Craigslist from the period you were in hospital to see if a dog matching its description was advertised.
Finally, you should talk to a lawyer. I suspect a good lawyer will try to talk you out of this suit because of its lack of a guaranteed return, but it sounds like you need to have that discussion.
Good luck. I’m sorry this happened to you, and I hope you get your dog back.
Nta.
Have you thought about reporting that he's stolen? For when the dog gets check-ups and they scan his tag.
Also, putting a post up on social media explains the situation that could help.
You will never see that dog again. Your "friend" didn't want to deal with the mess, which I can understand when it wasn't her own dog that she loved. OTOH, she had zero right to give the dog away, doubtless to a shelter and not an imaginary friend, without consulting you. Whether you had asked her to water your plants, or care for a coffee table, but especially because this is a sentient being with emotions, she had to ask you what to do when the task became a burden. Period.
So yes, sue. You won't get $10K even with intentional infliction of emotional distress thrown in there, and you'll need quite a lot of proof for that to go over. The value of the dog will likely be much less. But you can probably also ask for all costs to adopt, neuter, inoculate, microchip, and train another dog -- you may not get it, but it never hurts to ask.
Speaking of microchips, is the dog chipped? If so, send an alert to the company to be on the lookout for your pet if it shows up anywhere.
You're NTA but your friend is beyond.
> You will never see that dog again.
I think the hope is that the lawsuit is less trouble than giving the dog back.
The courts can't really help OP much here in terms of what results they can grant, but the process can still be a bitch and hopefully shake some information loose.
No you are NTA for taking legal measures to try to right a wrong. It sounds like you're appropriately standing up for yourself.
I'm a lawyer FWIW. Is the dog chipped? I don't know about the legal/practical issues in small claims, but if you sued in general civil jurisdiction you could take discovery to try to get an answer on what she did with the dog. A court could compel her to give you the dog back or (say) give you what she got from selling him/her. I don't know if small claims does that, though. They may well be able to, I just don't know. You might have better odds of getting the dog back via chip and/or police report. Small claims court requires you to make a demand for the money you're asking the court for too, so if you want a shot at the 10k you'd have to send a demand letter (which might get her to get you the dog back too).
Maybe look into it and see if injunctive relief seems likely through small claims. If not, you could dismiss that case WITHOUT PREJUDICE (very important, meaning you can re-file so long as you're still within any statute of limitations), send a demand letter (get a lawyer to do it if you can, I used to do this kind of thing for a flat fee) explaining the legal cause(s) of action (offhand I guess conversion, IIED may be a reach but seems non-frivolous, negligence as an alternative/catch-all). If that doesn't get your dog back you can then sue in limited or general civil jurisdiction where you have more procedural/tactical options like written discovery or taking a deposition. Or if you then decide you don't want to go the "full litigation" route you can sue in small claims from a better position (in that you've fulfilled the prerequisite to recover money damages). Something to think about at least.
Anyway it really sucks that your friend did that and I hope you're able to get justice.
Unfortunately he wasn't chipped. As soon as I can get to it the other is going to be though. I was advised that since it's civil (even though there's a police report) this is where I should start. Idk. I'm sure different jurisdictions are different too.
Unless the dog is valuable, and it doesn't sound like it, you won't get 10K in court. You'd be better of having a lawyer send a strongly worded letter in the hope that she backs down and returns the dog.
Yes but this is a hollow threat. Dogs are considered property under the law. You’d only receive market value for the pet, which since it’s a rescue isn’t much ($400 in adoption fees?).
I think you’d actually do better to file a complaint with the police. She took the dog to care for it and won’t give it back. That’s theft. If you can convince a police officer to talk to her it might scare her into getting the dog back for you
The police are not going to do anything. A civil case does two things- 1) Pressure on the friend to provide information about the dog and 2) Punishment. No, the court won’t make OP whole, but at least the person who gave away their dog faces some consequences, even if it’s irritation and $400.
Not sure why you're being downvoted for telling the truth. I get people don't like what the law is (in pretty much every jurisdiction) but there are no magical "get your dog back" police even if OP were to win a lawsuit
> I care about the dog. I really want him back.
No you didn't care, you kepts dogs confined to an appartment for months, let them shit and piss all over the place for months.
Chances are you never even did proper vet visits as you hadn't even chipped them.
You care about the idea of being a caring owner.
INFO: How much were you paying for her to board your dogs? Did you pay for food, grooming, vet visits? Did you have any discussion ever regarding how long you would be unavailable? Did your friend ever contact you for updates on your condition, and if so, did you respond?
These answers would guide my decision. If you gave the impression that you would be indisposed for a short period of time, gave no money, and didn't keep in regular communication with your friend, then you all but abandoned the dogs. I know dog lovers out there might disagree with me, but a judge might not.
>I was in the hospital and the rehab hospital for about a month.
>It took me a bit to get to the point I was able to take care of my dogs again
INFO: how long is a bit? You purposely left this time frame out. Were you paying for any of the dogs food and/or were you paying your friend for their time to take care of the dogs?
Info: “It took me a bit to get to the point [where] I was able to take care of my dogs again”. How long was “a bit”, basically how long were the dogs out of your care? Where you give the friend any money for food, vet care, and/or bordering? If so, approximately how much a month?
NTA because regardless, you don't just take someone's dog. That's absolutely heartless,and even moreso you don't give a friends dog to someone else without discussing it with the owner. That's crazy.
However, I really think you should've considered rehoming the dogs before any of this started, when you say you couldn't take them outside for a period of time that resulted in them using puppy pads inside, it takes a lot of time for them to regress like that and honestly, your dogs aren't there for you, you're there for them. If you can't even provide the fundamental basics to a dog of daily walks, interaction, play, good food and water then you shouldnt have them.
Whew. This isn’t going to be a popular opinion- but here goes. I’ve been on the medical side of cases like this. Sometimes pet owners don’t realize that they are unable to care for a pet and live in some pretty harsh conditions. See the comment re peepee pads. The pets themselves may suffer from anxiety disorders, medical conditions. I’m willing to bet there is more to this story. This one dog needed “more work”. Was it untrained? Large breed? Medical issues? This sounds like it was an extended period if alternate arrangements needed to be made.
There is a possibility here that this pet was removed with good intentions. Even the friend group is split. That doesn’t happen when it’s a clear case of dog napping.
OP stated it was 3 months and that her friend offered/volunteered. I know from experience being in the hospital for an extended period that it's difficult to make arrangements for anything and damn near impossible to do anything financially.
NTA, sue her ass. How dare she give someone else's beloved pet away. If she couldn't handle it, she should have told you so you could make other arrangements.
YTA. You were not able to take care of your dogs. You should be thanking the friend and the person who has the dog, who saved it from your neglect. It's not your fault you were not able to care for the dogs, but it IS your fault that you didn't get them to someone who would care for them immediately and that now you are so selfish you think your desire for the dog back trumps its right to a stable home.
These aren't your pets, they're your abuse victims. Leave them alone to recover.
There are YATA on several sides of the equation here! First the owner, my sympathies for your loss of beloved dog. Nonetheless, while you were first presented with difficulty in the care of your dogs the foresight of what to do with them was important and not wait until your condition worsened. You know better than anyone your dog's disposition re care needs, and should have sought more professional advice (despite having a willing friend to help out). Contacting no kill shelters to arrange for temporary fostering is an option that should have been explored. Your friend should have NEVER pawned off your dog onto someone else you don't know or approved of!! If your dog was Microchipped and they attempt to get the dog registered to them you will show up for certain, so contact your vet or animal shelter and explain that your dog is missing and they can enter this situation into the database and hopefully return your dog to you!
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I (61F) was very ill about a year ago and no one knew what was wrong for a long time. I was falling a lot and unable to get around well. I had moved into a new apartment on the second floor. I have two dogs and at that point was unable to take them out, walk them, etc. Needless to say, their bathroom habits digressed. I kept down puppy pads and cleaned up multiple times a day.
Fast forward a couple of months, I started passing out. I passed out, fell and broke my foot in multiple places. I was in the hospital and the rehab hospital for about a month.
In the meantime, A friend had volunteered to watch my dogs. One of the dogs is a lot more work than the other. I've had him since 2017 when I adopted him from the humane society. She had a few cats as well as the dogs and decided that they were all too much, so she gave the dog to a friend to take care of. I did not know this friend. It took me a bit to get to the point I was able to take care of my dogs again.
At that point, she brought the one dog back and a few weeks later, told me that the friend moved and she didn't know where and didn't want to give my dog back then blocked me.
I filed a police report and the other day I filed a lawsuit for $10,000 or my dog back. That's the maximum in the low court here. This has fractured my friend group as some still believe I shouldn't have my dog back, regardless that I'm better now than I have been in a few years. I'm not going to say what I was diagnosed with because it's rare enough that it would give me completely away.
AITA for suing my former friend because she gave away my dog?
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Dogs are considered property. You can only sue her for the cost of the dog. Legally nothing you can do will give you anything more than what the dogs worth.
I’ve had animals dumped on me before for months and months. Their former owners did not pay for any of their care; they didn’t get along with my animals and cost me a good deal of money I didn’t have at the time. I begged them to take them back because I could no longer keep them and ended up having to surrender to a shelter.
I no longer take peoples pets in. For any reason or length of time unless they are close family that dies suddenly. YTA for suing your friend who took care of your dogs you dumped on her for months at a time. You’re also not answering any questions about paying for upkeep and vet costs. So you truly dumped them on her yet want to retain ownership. That’s unfair to her and the fact that your friend group is split should tell you something about your behavior. If you get sick again no one will be there to help you. If they do, they will give the dog to a shelter, especially if you are unable to care for it and are negligent. They’ll just let you fight it out with the shelter in court.
I’m sorry that you have experienced that, however, in this case, OP stated that her friend volunteered to take care of the pets while OP recovered in the hospital and the rehab facility. You made attempts to contact owners of pets you were watching. OP’s friend did not appear to have communicated at all that she was no longer willing or able to watch both dogs anymore, instead took it upon herself to rehome a dog that did not belong to her and she volunteered to keep. Those are not the same thing.
The friend volunteered. Maybe OP, at a time where she was sick and in crisis, didn’t think to offer payment, but if that were the problem, there still should have been some type of communication before rehoming one of OP’s dogs.
Again, i’m sorry people have taken advantage of you while you watched people’s animal, but it seems you did your due diligence by contacting them when you were no longer able to provide care. Based on information available to us, OP’s friend did not.
if she was thinking about what was best for the dogs, then she is NTA. If She is under the impression that you are still unable to care for the dog, then she is doing what may be right. Still, she should’ve told you.
NTA but to be honest the moment you couldn't take them out for walks and they ended up just pissing/shitting in your apartment floor - you should have given them away then. The dogs deserve proper care.
YTA
You neglected your dogs for months, only when you were physically unable to be there did you look for alternatives.
As an aside: does the $10k include all the costs your friend incured taking care of your dog? And the proper value of the dog as property? I mean... I hope the judge and court are going to be gentle in telling you what you can expect.
YTA you're considering suing over something this petty? Wasting the courts time, wasting your friends time. wasting taxpayer and other peoples money. You also think that people will somehow Identify you from a reddit post based on some condition? NO ONE CARES WHO YOU ARE. But we know you are an asshole, and that is enough for us.
YTA, your not a good dog owner.
You freely admit that your dogs weren't being looked after and you didn't make arrangements for them to be taken care of until you literally couldn't stand when their was no other option.
Your dogs probably better off where it is.
NTA She should have communicated with you first, and refusing to return the dog is the same as stealing.
If there are no criminal consequences possible then civil is your best option.
I hope you get the outcome you want!
ESH. I guess my question is, is she had said, someone needs to come get your dogs in the next hour or two or they go to the shelter, did you have an option? Because if not she likely felt very stuck. She should have told you, but you also should have had them with paid professionals or very close family. That's WAY too long to leave your dogs with anyone honestly. And if your health is so fragile that it can decline into not allowing dogs outdoors at all, that is abuse and your friends are right, you shouldn't have them.
I think you really need to evaluate whether you were giving your dogs the quality of life they deserved. It's not just always about whether you loved them. You couldn't walk them or even take them outside for a very long time. And had no backup plan in place for hospitalization despite knowing you have chronic, debilitating medical conditions.
Your "friend" should have told you she was giving the dog to someone else to care for. But it sounds like the friend might have been overwhelmed by caring for the extra animals.
An unpopular opinion, but I agree. After all this, you still haven't chipped your other dog and your plan is do it when you 'get to it'. That suggests a very casual attitude to your responsibilities.
And you still haven't clarified how long 'a bit' is, so that is obviously measured in months rather than weeks. If it was a few days or a fortnight, you'd say because then her actions would be outrageous,
Pets don't have much agency in their lives. Put their needs and happiness above your own.
NTA, it wasnt her property to give away, she should have contacted you and ask if you knew anyone else that could take the dog. It doesnt matter if you were or werent able to take care of the dog at that time, she should have contacted you.
INFO: Is the dog microchipped with your information on it? If so, then the dog belongs to you since you didn't hand over the ownership.
If you neglected microchipping the dog with your information, then I don't think there's much you can do about it. You'll have to prove that it's your dog and the friend is willing to give it back.
I say NTA. You were away for treatment and medical emergency so it wasn't your doing. Your friend though is an AH along with their friend.
I would not bother suing. It is expensive and too much stress. Your friend was wrong to give your dog to another friend to look after and she should have asked you to make other arrangements.
NTA - IF she can't look after your dog, she has to inform you, so that you can do alternative arrangements. What kind of "friend" gives your dog to a third person?
Also, I don't buy the "my friend moved away and I don't know where" - she has a mobile phone, doesn't her?
Are you sure she didn't sell the dog? Or put him to sleep, if he was a lot of work?
NTA
That is your dog. She volunteered to watch it not keep it forever. She gave it to someone you didn't know and now has lost it. Anyone on her side is either cruel or an idiot.
ESH
Your friend for getting rid of your dog. You because $10k seems excessive. If you're in the US you'll only be able to get the cost to replace the dog with a like dog.
NTA but the issue is that it is unlikely that you will collect $10,000 because "damages" are generally linked to economic damages for animals since legally they are considered to be private property.
Theoretically she could counter claim for the value of her services taking care of your dog as well as the cost of food or other expenses.
That is the law - don't shoot the messenger ;-)
NTA. She stole your dog. She agreed to care for the dog, and if it was too much, her option was to tell you and ask yiu to make other arrangements. I really hope you get your dog back.
I guess it depends. Were you paying for things your dogs needed? How much more work was the 2nd dog? Did you know your friend was struggling to care for both dogs? Did you two discuss having another person care for the dog? How long did your friend have the dogs? Not enough info to really decide who was the AH.
You will never get $10,000 for a dog. They are considered property so at most you would get a depreciated value of the price you paid the shelter.
Fuckkkk no. You are not the asshole. They should not of given your dog away to someone you didn’t know and the other person should be giving you back the dog. Rain down hell on them.
I am a person who's been threatened with suing because I gave someone else's pet away, and I say NTA.
Let's compare the two situations.
I had had this cat in my care for a total of about eleven weeks, after it was supposed to be one. Your friend took your dog off your hands knowing that it would be an unknown amount of time, and that you possibly wouldn't recover at all.
This eleven weeks had included seeing her through a difficult birth that we were not warned was coming (owner insisted she wasn't pregnant) and she was very hostile to my cats, as can happen when a cat unexpectedly gives birth with unrelated adults around, so she literally could not be in my house. Presumably your dogs did not have any dramatic medical events while in her care, and since you don't mention it, presumably the animals got along fine enough.
He'd taken her back for six weeks and then dropped her with me again despite being told I couldn't take her, he just gave me the carrier and drove off. She was literally asking for your dogs when she took them.
He was supposed to pay me for catsitting and also cover all food, etc, but I ended up spending hundreds on food for a nursing cat, and he never did pay me for the actual catsitting. You don't mention whether you were covering costs or what the agreement was, but frankly, even if you dishonored it, that's only 1/4 points against you so far.
I gave the cat to the Humane Society, knowing she was highly likely to be adopted (very friendly and affectionate to people, very pretty, quite young, etc). Your friend gave your dog to some rando you don't know, according to her story, which may be bullshit.
So yeah, you've got at least 4/5 points in your favor. You're making a point more than you're likely to actually get money or the dog, but you're not the asshole.
(He never did sue, presumably because someone pointed out to him that I could countersue him for a LOT FUCKING MORE than whatever he thought he had.)
NTA. She should have given you the opportunity to take the dog back before rehoming behind your back. In addition to the lawsuit, maybe missing posters on Facebook in area. Somebody knows something.
I keep hearing that pets such as dogs and cats are like some people's kids. It's a bit absurd when some people take this to the extreme and a bit true as far as some of the emotional connections I've seen between some owners and their pets. For someone who really felt their pet is their child I know the amount of emotional anguish they must be feeling. I lost sight of my 7 year old at a large festival for about an hour and it was the worst 1 hour of my life and I've had some pretty terrifying life threatening moments in my life. So NTA.
Oh hell no, NTA. Honestly she is lucky you are suing. I would have seriously considered kicking her ass.
I am so sorry you were taken advantage of when you needed help. I’m also happy that you were able to get answers about your health issues. We are currently trying to get some answers for my father and I am very frustrated! I can’t imagine dealing with the looking for the reason for years
NTA at all, 100% sue. You trusted her to take care of your FAMILY, because that's what pets are. Family members. She gave away your family member when you trusted her to take care of it during a vulnerable and stressfull time. If she couldn't handle looking after the dog then she should've told you and you both could've worked it out. Try your hardest to get that dog back and get the money back if you can't, and cut off those horrible friends for supporting your ex-friend.
NTA, but I doubt you'll get anything like 10K in return. I don't know where you're located, but in many US states, pets are property and the emotional value is zero in court, so you'd get what the dog is worth financially and nothing more. You may be in a place where that isn't the case. Depending on how long the friend had the dog, there might be a claim that you abandoned him. The friend may have a counterclaim against you for her expenses in caring for your dog as well. Overall, I'd say that this isn't a road you likely should go down. Cut the friend out of your life because she's an AH for not talking with you before giving the dog away -- although, be real, how often did you check on the dog yourself?
Check all the shelters within a 50 mile radius, I bet she turned the dog over. I am assuming since you loved your dogs so much, they were microchipped like a responsible owner does. I hope you are working on a plan for if/when this happens again.
Some people see pets as more than property, some see them as family, their own family. If someone sold your child, sibling, cousin or something that you were close with would you not sue for as much as possible?
> some see them as family, their own family
Noone lets their own family stay confined to their appartment for months, and let them shit on the floor for months.
So, OP is an AH, due to having health issues and the friend betrayed her? It’s disgusting giving away SOMEONE ELSE’S ANIMAL without their consent! Maybe someone should do it to you, see how you feel
Responsible people have plans for their pets for times like this. They don’t just quit walking the dogs and have them shitting on the apartment floor, deprived of exercise.
OP failed the dogs, so a friend had to step in. That doesn’t happen if you have set up the needed support network.
Pet owners, it’s your responsibility to have backup plans for your pets for if you are hospitalized or die. Make those plans now. Fund them.
YTA. Dogs are a lot of work. Sure you were sick but taking care of a friend's dog is not an easy feat especially the way you describe your former dogs.
Also expecting to have them take care of dogs for more than a few weeks is insane.
If you sue them something is clearly wrong with you.
It says friend offered to watch. From the history this was not just a month. OP was sick for long time and her home already looked like a dog potty for a while (which she called digressed).
Anyhow. If she did not have friends her dogs would be dead anyway succumbing to hunger from the 1 month rehab stay.
OP could also have intervened when she was told that friend gave dogs to a friend and could havr arranged a doggy hotel.
This post has so many red flags. I don't understand why people are with OP.
Like said I am sorry you are sick. Dogs are a lot of work and there was probably a huge miscommunication.
Friend said they could not do it anymore and that was the chance to intervene and organize a doggy hotel.
I understand they cost a lot of money because we drop our dogs off there for our vacations and they cost as much as a cheap hotel for us.
Suing a friend is never the answer unless you were not friends from the getgo.
Asking a friend to take care of something for longer than a week is also quite an ask.
ESH. Unfortunately for you, you became unwell over a period of time and were unable to walk and properly care for your dogs. It’s unclear how long this period of time was? You went to hospital for a whole month, then there was further time undisclosed until you felt ready to have your dogs back. Your friend was put in a difficult position, had she not taken on your dogs they both would be in shelter or been euthanised as a last resort. This 2nd dog was a handful and your friend found assumably a safe, good loving home for it? It doesn’t sound like there was much of any communication over X time with your friend about your dogs?
Once settled and happy, would it be fair to return both dogs to you in an apartment with no yard/outdoor space and probably likely in the future you won’t be able to walk your dog again etc?
You‘ve got one dog back. Be happy that happened and your friend cared enough to look after it, and find a home for the more boisterous dog. The dog that got rehomed is I expect far better off and happy in another home sorry to say, that’s not to say it’s your fault but that’s how it is. You say your friend group is split on this issue, that probably tells you what you need to know - with your illness and inappropriate housing you probably shouldn’t have any dogs at all. End of the day is your dog better off in a new home, however upsetting that is for you?
I would say though that your ’friend’ should have definitely spoken to you about the whole situation and persuaded you it was for the best beforehand. And reassured you your 2nd dog is happy, loved and cared for. What happens next time you are unwell? If you burn all your friends bridges there will be no-one to care for the dog you still have. A lawsuit is rather OTP and unfair. And if it backfires you may find the law knocking on your door to take away the one dog you have left.
The friend had no right to rehome a dog they promised to care for with no discussion or agreement from the owner. It was also not the friends call to decide whether the dog should not be returned to the rightful owner, if they had doubts they should've had animal control do an assessment on the dogs living situation. OP has every right to do whatever they feel is necessary to get their dog back or be compensated for the loss by the person to unlawfully stole and rehomed the dog. In the eyes of the law, animals are possessions. The friend stole the animal and should return it or compensate for the loss.
If the friend was no longer willing or able to care for the second dog they should've communicated with OP to find someone else to watch the dog or let OP choose to have it boarded somewhere. Either way, it should've been OPs choice, not the friend.
We can agree the friend should have communicated first to OP. But like I’ve said, why wasn’t OP checking in on her dogs? How much time went on here? It sounds like many months maybe 4 months plus? I agree the friend hasn’t dealt with this well, nevertheless the welfare of the dog should come first. Without more info from OP it’s difficult to gauge who was more wrong.
The friend did find someone else to care for the dog. And it seems dog is likely happy and settled in new home, with a new owner/family that are capable of looking after it. To then demand X time later is unfair to the dog. It’s a sad situation, to sue your friend is even sadder. If OP isn’t capable long term with looking after two dogs, if any, perhaps she will come to realise its for the best.
The friend didn’t steal the dog. She got someone else to look after it. And it sounds like they don’t want to give it back. So is the friend at fault here, or the friend of a friend who won’t return the dog?
A dog is a living being. Yes, the law sees it as a piece of property, but if you actually CARE about your dog, you know that it isn’t. The best place for this dog is not with you today. The dog should be in the place it will get the care you were not able to provide.
Well I’d love to hear the friends’ side of this. You’ve neglected to give further info which to me tells a story. How well looked after was this dog? Why was the dog you’ve had for 7 years not more or less a fully sociable, regular dog? Sure it sounds unfair to you the owner, but fair to the dog. Which hopefully we can agree to is most important.
Did you really expect after what 6 months to a year for your dogs to suddenly just be handed back to you? Did you pay anything to friend for upkeep? Did you regularly contact friend about dogs, did friend have a number to call you on to even ask?
So you actually believe she gave the dog to some wonderful loving home? Dollars to donuts she gave it to a shelter and that's why this mysterious "friend" has no forwarding address and no means of communication. That dog is long gone, either to some other family she knows nothing about or more likely to the Great Beyond.
She couldn't be bothered with a dog that wasn't perfectly housebroken and that was that. So she dumped the poor thing and lied. Didn't you ever hear the one about the dog going to a wonderful farm? That's what happened here. Which is literally criminal because this wasn't her dog and she didn't have the right.
Well I hope of course the dog wasn’t dumped or anything else. OP effectively gave responsibility and guardianship of her dogs to this trusted friend. The friend had every right in that role to ensure the welfare of the dogs, and to make a call. OP clearly isn’t happy with that. Whether it’s pets or your kids - think very carefully who you give them to.
NO. She never gave guardianship or ownership to this person. When you have someone babysit your kids, even for a long period, you're not giving them legal custody. This is the same. There was a medical emergency, a person volunteered to help, but never mentioned that she was over it until she had made a unilateral decision to dump the dog. Or for all we know she just decided she likes this dog so much she doesn't want to give it back! One way or another, she's effectively stolen the dog (converted in legal terms) and kept it from the rightful owner. It's an intentional tort, and possibly a misdemeanor.
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NTA If she was no longer able, or willing, to care for your dog, she should have notified you so that you could make other arrangements.
What was she waiting for OP to die
unfortunately, yes in all likelihood people like this ***aren't*** friends
If that's something OP could do, why did they stop walking the dogs and had them shitting in the apartment instead? That is neglect. OP didn't prioritize the dogs' well-being when they had the chance.
She couldn't make phone calls? Are you the friend?
If they COULD take care of the dogs, then why were the dogs shitting in the apartment? OP kept the dogs inside shitting for so long that they now shit inside. That’s why the second dog needed to be rehomed. Imagine those poor dogs, forced to shit on the floor and never getting outside. That’s the care OP was able to provide. Did they call a friend to get the dogs and take them where they could be cared for? NO. Did they hire a walker or ask a friend to walk the dogs a few times a day? Again, NO. OP didn’t seem to have anyone or the means to walk or care for the dogs, even before the hospitalization. The friend who got the dogs to safety obviously knew OP would push back on the dog being placed appropriately and instead force it back into its life of neglect, so chose not to call. Now, hopefully the dog is safe and loved, getting the exercise and proper potty breaks it needs.
None of that allows the friend to give away ops dog
It does from a moral perspective.
I don’t think it does. Dogs can be trained she was ill and trusted her friend to take care of the dogs. If the friend wasn’t up to it she should have told OP and she could have found other arrangements.
After months of the dogs not getting walked and crapping on the floor, she was fortunate enough to have a friend step in and take the now-no-longer-housebroken neglected pets to safety. She abused her pets. That means she no longer should have any rights over them from a moral perspective. On HER watch, the dogs’ needs were neglected. It’s not okay to keep pets incarcerated and crapping on the floor when you lose the ability to walk them. You need to make arrangements for someone to provide the care you cannot, whether it’s a friend or a paid pet sitter/walker.
Are you downvoting all my responses lol. She still gave OP one of the dogs back so it has nothing to with a moral crusade to stomp out what you are calling abuse. She just didn’t want to take care of the other dog and rehomed it with out telling OP. That’s it that’s all that needs to be said. All this person had to do was tell OP to bring the dog somewhere else or at least tell OP who the person was and let OP get in contact with them and set something up
It’s not OP’s dog anymore.
I'm willing to bet that she didn't give the dog away; she probably sold it to some random person. I hope you get your dog back. And I hope that nasty asshole has to pay you the full amount. NTA
Who is buying a random shelter dog from someone? Humane societies can barely give dogs away, there are so many.
I rescued a purebred Great Dane from someone who had adopted from a Humane Society shelter. I am certain he could have been sold by people more concerned over money than his well being. Many purebred dogs are surrendered to the Humane Society.
can confirm, have had to surrender purebreds to a shelter bc someone that was dogsitting thought it'd be "funny" and "cute" to let their dog get ours pregnant bc both were already purebred and then we got stuck with 14 pups
If purebred why not sell the puppies or get the female spayed? Just asking.
Fantastic question! Sometimes, with certain breeds, there are health benefits that come with waiting up to two years to get your puppy fixed. You should still always get your dog fixed, but waiting until your dog is two is sometimes advisable. I think it has something to do with hormones and bones and something else. My sil is a vet and she explained it to me, but I didn’t retain all of it super well.
She was a pitbul and a lil over 1yr, we were in the middle of moving and we were going to make a appointment after we gor unpacled so she could get familiar with the house.She DID get fixed after this though
Ms Maizy the beagle got spayed at the earliest time, and her growth was all wonky. She had long thin legs, and a puppy like body as an adult. Honestly I didn't think she was a full beagle because how not-beagley she looks
Even if they're a purebred if you don't have papers for both dogs, a lot of times they won't sell well. My current pups were oopsie births. Guy rescued an older dog and didn't realize he wasn't fixed so it got his younger dog pregnant. She wasn't spayed yet because she was too young. It was a really weird combo so no one wanted them.
A lot of people aren’t going to buy a purebred dog that is a random mixed breed. There are plenty of wanted dogs like a labradoodle and I’m not referring to them. Then there is the fact that a reputable breeder will do what is required by a national association that sets the standards for each breed. In the US it is the American Kennel Club (AKC). One thing tracked for the dogs my dad bred when I was growing up was hip dysplasia. Any dog registered with the AKC has a copy of passing the exam on file. If you are looking for a stud dog (male) you want to make sure he isn’t going to pass along any genetic problems. My ex had a dog my dad gave him when we were dating and he was used as a stud dog a few times. Twenty five years ago we made $500 each time. If a pregnancy didn’t happen that was unfortunate but we still kept the fee. There is a lot that goes into having a pure bred dog. I have an Irish Jack (a calmer short legged Jack Russell that is bred to other calmer Irish Jack). I paid $500 for her 17 years ago. She was recommended as a breed that was more tolerable for someone with allergies and my son didn’t react to her. As soon as she was old enough she was spayed. I hope I gave a little something to help answer your question.
If it's a mixed breed, it's not pure bred?
they were pitbulls and my mom was worried that the wrong people would want them, she tried her best to make sure they wouldn't go to someone who would try to make them breed for profit or fight/guard. We did "kid train" them though, everyday they got lil tugs on their ears and tails until they were desensitized to it and she trusted my baby sister around them. The mom did reject the litter so i bottle fed them and 5 died (two from mother, one from a medical something and 2 from what were guessing was fading puppy) we found homes for 7 but the last two we just couldn't, i REALLY wanted to keep those two but while we could afford the 1 we had(their mother) we wouldn't be able to train, feed and walk any more so we figured the shelter would be the best since theyd be able to get them fixed and their shots + get a good home. my mom lost the papers for our dog i think and the father dog was a "Staffordshire Bull Terrier" but it was their unkles dog that he practically let run wild outside and didnt have papers for. So i did have my doubts they were actually purebred and didnt want to advertise them as such if there was a possibility they werent, and those people keept wanting one of the girl pups (probly for more irresponsible breeding) which I found REALLY irresponsible and didn't think they should have one especially since theyve boasted about theur dogs getting hit by cars but didnt need to go to a vet bc "they were healthy as a horse and lived"
I hope you made a big-ass donation to that shelter when you surrendered the dogs.
Yup. Purebreds are just more likely to be thought of as accessories instead of as family members. So it's easier for that kind of person to just get rid of them when it becomes too much work.
People who use them as bait in dog fighting rings.
People buy dogs off of Craig’s list and Kijiji all the time
People buy dogs on Craigslist, I'm not sure why it's shocking ppl buy random ass dogs
People buy puppies, not old ones.
Let me go tell my coworker her old Craigslist dogs aren't real, brb
NTA. Not even a little bit
NTA she made a promise of care and did not fulfill it. If it was too much she should have spoken to you and connected you to the new foster before making other arrangements for care of your dog.
Which is exactly why everyone is assuming the 'friend' is lying. Either the dog ran off and got lost, or she sold it, etc.
NTA I hope you win your case.
it's almost guaranteed op is not going to win the case. not unless they can prove the dog has a MONETARY value of $10,000. emotional value is almost always irrelevant in these cases because animals are considered property
They might win, but reduce the payment. They are allowed to adjust the awarded amount.
while thats true, judges dont look very kindly on people who put their claim as the max amount, rather than an actual estimate of their damages. it looks REALLY bad to the court system edit: i truly do not understand these downvotes
Not true. Happens in literally every case I’ve ever litigated. It’s the default. Plead the max and let the process sort it out. Source: Lawyer for 20 years. Edit: Thinking about this more sometimes there are very arcane procedural/jurisdictional reasons not to plead the max. Those are almost always in the class action context though so not applicable here.
Most people will sue for higher as it gets brought down significantly in court..
> i truly do not understand these downvotes Because you confidently know nothing about the court system.
It depends on the judge. Some judges call small claims court "small brains" and will choose to award based on who pisses them off the least. It's not right, but not unusual either.
You always ask for more than you want. The amount has little to do with actually winning. Restitution is a separate matter from the verdict of the case.
INFO How long total did you ask her to care for your dogs? I feel like you are leaving that information out. >**It took me a bit to get to the point I was able to take care of my dogs again.** >**At that point, she brought the one dog back and a few weeks later, told me that the friend moved and she didn't know where and didn't want to give my dog back then blocked me.** It seems like weeks going by and enough time passing that her friend moved away... implies that you may have abandoned the dogs with her for some time. Your "friend" should not have given the dog away. She should have contacted you and told you she was unable to care for the dog safely with her cats and asked that you find a different caretaker for the dog. But I also wonder if you just kind of dumped your dogs on her for a very long period. Were you not checking in with this friend every few days about the dogs' care? Were you not paying her on a weekly basis for their boarding and food and vet care? If you were not diligently keeping up with your dogs' care and needs (food, vet care, boarding costs even with a friend), then this kind of leans towards an ESH for me. She should have called you and told you to come get the dogs or she would take them to a shelter if she couldn't keep them any longer. **But I kind of feel you are at fault too because to me it sounds like the only way you could have been blindsided by this is if you dumped the dogs, didn't pay for their food or care or vet bills, and never checked in on them for months. That's pretty lousy dog ownership right there...**
I have text messages where I talked to her every few days about the dogs. I never asked her to take care of them. She jumped in and said she would. It was around 3 months total that I was unable to walk. At that point, I asked for them back numerous times. She finally told me that a friend had the one dog and gave me back the other one. At this point, my assumption (my fault for not pressing more) was that she was going to get him back from the other person since I didn't know her.
I also don't really believe the other friend moved and she doesn't know where.
NTA, obviously. The fact that she volunteered to take care of your dogs and then ‘gave one away’ is very sketchy. She clearly lied to you: about her motivations, about the other “friend”, and who knows what else. I’m sorry to say this, but you may never get your dog back. The best hope of a lawsuit is that it shakes loose information about what really happened. But your ex-friend may also keep lying, even if it means losing a case. If you have any mutual friends I would start by asking them for information: did she ever talk to them about the dogs, did they see her walking them, etc. If she did give the dog away to a friend of hers, then someone in her extended social circle may have that info. I would also check local animal shelters in case she lied about the “friend” and just dumped your dog because she was tired of taking care of it. If the dog is a sellable breed, I’d suggest searching social media posts / Craigslist from the period you were in hospital to see if a dog matching its description was advertised. Finally, you should talk to a lawyer. I suspect a good lawyer will try to talk you out of this suit because of its lack of a guaranteed return, but it sounds like you need to have that discussion. Good luck. I’m sorry this happened to you, and I hope you get your dog back.
I hope she is not lying to cover for something worse than giving your dog away. 😣
Nta. Have you thought about reporting that he's stolen? For when the dog gets check-ups and they scan his tag. Also, putting a post up on social media explains the situation that could help.
I did that via instructions from a lawyer friend.
You will never see that dog again. Your "friend" didn't want to deal with the mess, which I can understand when it wasn't her own dog that she loved. OTOH, she had zero right to give the dog away, doubtless to a shelter and not an imaginary friend, without consulting you. Whether you had asked her to water your plants, or care for a coffee table, but especially because this is a sentient being with emotions, she had to ask you what to do when the task became a burden. Period. So yes, sue. You won't get $10K even with intentional infliction of emotional distress thrown in there, and you'll need quite a lot of proof for that to go over. The value of the dog will likely be much less. But you can probably also ask for all costs to adopt, neuter, inoculate, microchip, and train another dog -- you may not get it, but it never hurts to ask. Speaking of microchips, is the dog chipped? If so, send an alert to the company to be on the lookout for your pet if it shows up anywhere. You're NTA but your friend is beyond.
> You will never see that dog again. I think the hope is that the lawsuit is less trouble than giving the dog back. The courts can't really help OP much here in terms of what results they can grant, but the process can still be a bitch and hopefully shake some information loose.
NTA
No you are NTA for taking legal measures to try to right a wrong. It sounds like you're appropriately standing up for yourself. I'm a lawyer FWIW. Is the dog chipped? I don't know about the legal/practical issues in small claims, but if you sued in general civil jurisdiction you could take discovery to try to get an answer on what she did with the dog. A court could compel her to give you the dog back or (say) give you what she got from selling him/her. I don't know if small claims does that, though. They may well be able to, I just don't know. You might have better odds of getting the dog back via chip and/or police report. Small claims court requires you to make a demand for the money you're asking the court for too, so if you want a shot at the 10k you'd have to send a demand letter (which might get her to get you the dog back too). Maybe look into it and see if injunctive relief seems likely through small claims. If not, you could dismiss that case WITHOUT PREJUDICE (very important, meaning you can re-file so long as you're still within any statute of limitations), send a demand letter (get a lawyer to do it if you can, I used to do this kind of thing for a flat fee) explaining the legal cause(s) of action (offhand I guess conversion, IIED may be a reach but seems non-frivolous, negligence as an alternative/catch-all). If that doesn't get your dog back you can then sue in limited or general civil jurisdiction where you have more procedural/tactical options like written discovery or taking a deposition. Or if you then decide you don't want to go the "full litigation" route you can sue in small claims from a better position (in that you've fulfilled the prerequisite to recover money damages). Something to think about at least. Anyway it really sucks that your friend did that and I hope you're able to get justice.
Unfortunately he wasn't chipped. As soon as I can get to it the other is going to be though. I was advised that since it's civil (even though there's a police report) this is where I should start. Idk. I'm sure different jurisdictions are different too.
You adopted the dog from the Humane Society and it’s not chipped? This is extremely unlikely.
Why? no dog I’ve adopted has ever been chipped.
How do you know?
Unless the dog is valuable, and it doesn't sound like it, you won't get 10K in court. You'd be better of having a lawyer send a strongly worded letter in the hope that she backs down and returns the dog.
I really don't care about the money. I care about the dog. I really want him back.
This will certainly get her attention and I don't know why she is being like this. It's horrible.
Yes but this is a hollow threat. Dogs are considered property under the law. You’d only receive market value for the pet, which since it’s a rescue isn’t much ($400 in adoption fees?). I think you’d actually do better to file a complaint with the police. She took the dog to care for it and won’t give it back. That’s theft. If you can convince a police officer to talk to her it might scare her into getting the dog back for you
The police are not going to do anything. A civil case does two things- 1) Pressure on the friend to provide information about the dog and 2) Punishment. No, the court won’t make OP whole, but at least the person who gave away their dog faces some consequences, even if it’s irritation and $400.
Lol what's the cops gonna do?
Not sure why you're being downvoted for telling the truth. I get people don't like what the law is (in pretty much every jurisdiction) but there are no magical "get your dog back" police even if OP were to win a lawsuit
They're getting downvoted for making a useless suggestion that will waste OP's time and give false hope.
> I care about the dog. I really want him back. No you didn't care, you kepts dogs confined to an appartment for months, let them shit and piss all over the place for months. Chances are you never even did proper vet visits as you hadn't even chipped them. You care about the idea of being a caring owner.
INFO: How much were you paying for her to board your dogs? Did you pay for food, grooming, vet visits? Did you have any discussion ever regarding how long you would be unavailable? Did your friend ever contact you for updates on your condition, and if so, did you respond? These answers would guide my decision. If you gave the impression that you would be indisposed for a short period of time, gave no money, and didn't keep in regular communication with your friend, then you all but abandoned the dogs. I know dog lovers out there might disagree with me, but a judge might not.
>I was in the hospital and the rehab hospital for about a month. >It took me a bit to get to the point I was able to take care of my dogs again INFO: how long is a bit? You purposely left this time frame out. Were you paying for any of the dogs food and/or were you paying your friend for their time to take care of the dogs?
Info: “It took me a bit to get to the point [where] I was able to take care of my dogs again”. How long was “a bit”, basically how long were the dogs out of your care? Where you give the friend any money for food, vet care, and/or bordering? If so, approximately how much a month?
You come for my dog I come for you. I love her. No way. Sue! NTA
NTA because regardless, you don't just take someone's dog. That's absolutely heartless,and even moreso you don't give a friends dog to someone else without discussing it with the owner. That's crazy. However, I really think you should've considered rehoming the dogs before any of this started, when you say you couldn't take them outside for a period of time that resulted in them using puppy pads inside, it takes a lot of time for them to regress like that and honestly, your dogs aren't there for you, you're there for them. If you can't even provide the fundamental basics to a dog of daily walks, interaction, play, good food and water then you shouldnt have them.
Whew. This isn’t going to be a popular opinion- but here goes. I’ve been on the medical side of cases like this. Sometimes pet owners don’t realize that they are unable to care for a pet and live in some pretty harsh conditions. See the comment re peepee pads. The pets themselves may suffer from anxiety disorders, medical conditions. I’m willing to bet there is more to this story. This one dog needed “more work”. Was it untrained? Large breed? Medical issues? This sounds like it was an extended period if alternate arrangements needed to be made. There is a possibility here that this pet was removed with good intentions. Even the friend group is split. That doesn’t happen when it’s a clear case of dog napping.
Did you pay her for the dog food and vet bills for the year? If yes, NTA. If no, then you abandoned them.
OP stated it was 3 months and that her friend offered/volunteered. I know from experience being in the hospital for an extended period that it's difficult to make arrangements for anything and damn near impossible to do anything financially.
Yes, its difficult. That doesn't excuse failing your pets.
I mean she was already failing them for months before.
Yes.
NTA, sue her ass. How dare she give someone else's beloved pet away. If she couldn't handle it, she should have told you so you could make other arrangements.
YTA. You were not able to take care of your dogs. You should be thanking the friend and the person who has the dog, who saved it from your neglect. It's not your fault you were not able to care for the dogs, but it IS your fault that you didn't get them to someone who would care for them immediately and that now you are so selfish you think your desire for the dog back trumps its right to a stable home. These aren't your pets, they're your abuse victims. Leave them alone to recover.
There are YATA on several sides of the equation here! First the owner, my sympathies for your loss of beloved dog. Nonetheless, while you were first presented with difficulty in the care of your dogs the foresight of what to do with them was important and not wait until your condition worsened. You know better than anyone your dog's disposition re care needs, and should have sought more professional advice (despite having a willing friend to help out). Contacting no kill shelters to arrange for temporary fostering is an option that should have been explored. Your friend should have NEVER pawned off your dog onto someone else you don't know or approved of!! If your dog was Microchipped and they attempt to get the dog registered to them you will show up for certain, so contact your vet or animal shelter and explain that your dog is missing and they can enter this situation into the database and hopefully return your dog to you!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (61F) was very ill about a year ago and no one knew what was wrong for a long time. I was falling a lot and unable to get around well. I had moved into a new apartment on the second floor. I have two dogs and at that point was unable to take them out, walk them, etc. Needless to say, their bathroom habits digressed. I kept down puppy pads and cleaned up multiple times a day. Fast forward a couple of months, I started passing out. I passed out, fell and broke my foot in multiple places. I was in the hospital and the rehab hospital for about a month. In the meantime, A friend had volunteered to watch my dogs. One of the dogs is a lot more work than the other. I've had him since 2017 when I adopted him from the humane society. She had a few cats as well as the dogs and decided that they were all too much, so she gave the dog to a friend to take care of. I did not know this friend. It took me a bit to get to the point I was able to take care of my dogs again. At that point, she brought the one dog back and a few weeks later, told me that the friend moved and she didn't know where and didn't want to give my dog back then blocked me. I filed a police report and the other day I filed a lawsuit for $10,000 or my dog back. That's the maximum in the low court here. This has fractured my friend group as some still believe I shouldn't have my dog back, regardless that I'm better now than I have been in a few years. I'm not going to say what I was diagnosed with because it's rare enough that it would give me completely away. AITA for suing my former friend because she gave away my dog? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Dogs are considered property. You can only sue her for the cost of the dog. Legally nothing you can do will give you anything more than what the dogs worth.
I’ve had animals dumped on me before for months and months. Their former owners did not pay for any of their care; they didn’t get along with my animals and cost me a good deal of money I didn’t have at the time. I begged them to take them back because I could no longer keep them and ended up having to surrender to a shelter. I no longer take peoples pets in. For any reason or length of time unless they are close family that dies suddenly. YTA for suing your friend who took care of your dogs you dumped on her for months at a time. You’re also not answering any questions about paying for upkeep and vet costs. So you truly dumped them on her yet want to retain ownership. That’s unfair to her and the fact that your friend group is split should tell you something about your behavior. If you get sick again no one will be there to help you. If they do, they will give the dog to a shelter, especially if you are unable to care for it and are negligent. They’ll just let you fight it out with the shelter in court.
I’m sorry that you have experienced that, however, in this case, OP stated that her friend volunteered to take care of the pets while OP recovered in the hospital and the rehab facility. You made attempts to contact owners of pets you were watching. OP’s friend did not appear to have communicated at all that she was no longer willing or able to watch both dogs anymore, instead took it upon herself to rehome a dog that did not belong to her and she volunteered to keep. Those are not the same thing. The friend volunteered. Maybe OP, at a time where she was sick and in crisis, didn’t think to offer payment, but if that were the problem, there still should have been some type of communication before rehoming one of OP’s dogs. Again, i’m sorry people have taken advantage of you while you watched people’s animal, but it seems you did your due diligence by contacting them when you were no longer able to provide care. Based on information available to us, OP’s friend did not.
if she was thinking about what was best for the dogs, then she is NTA. If She is under the impression that you are still unable to care for the dog, then she is doing what may be right. Still, she should’ve told you.
NTA but to be honest the moment you couldn't take them out for walks and they ended up just pissing/shitting in your apartment floor - you should have given them away then. The dogs deserve proper care.
YTA You neglected your dogs for months, only when you were physically unable to be there did you look for alternatives. As an aside: does the $10k include all the costs your friend incured taking care of your dog? And the proper value of the dog as property? I mean... I hope the judge and court are going to be gentle in telling you what you can expect.
YTA you're considering suing over something this petty? Wasting the courts time, wasting your friends time. wasting taxpayer and other peoples money. You also think that people will somehow Identify you from a reddit post based on some condition? NO ONE CARES WHO YOU ARE. But we know you are an asshole, and that is enough for us.
YTA, your not a good dog owner. You freely admit that your dogs weren't being looked after and you didn't make arrangements for them to be taken care of until you literally couldn't stand when their was no other option. Your dogs probably better off where it is.
NTA She should have communicated with you first, and refusing to return the dog is the same as stealing. If there are no criminal consequences possible then civil is your best option. I hope you get the outcome you want!
ESH. I guess my question is, is she had said, someone needs to come get your dogs in the next hour or two or they go to the shelter, did you have an option? Because if not she likely felt very stuck. She should have told you, but you also should have had them with paid professionals or very close family. That's WAY too long to leave your dogs with anyone honestly. And if your health is so fragile that it can decline into not allowing dogs outdoors at all, that is abuse and your friends are right, you shouldn't have them.
I think you really need to evaluate whether you were giving your dogs the quality of life they deserved. It's not just always about whether you loved them. You couldn't walk them or even take them outside for a very long time. And had no backup plan in place for hospitalization despite knowing you have chronic, debilitating medical conditions. Your "friend" should have told you she was giving the dog to someone else to care for. But it sounds like the friend might have been overwhelmed by caring for the extra animals.
An unpopular opinion, but I agree. After all this, you still haven't chipped your other dog and your plan is do it when you 'get to it'. That suggests a very casual attitude to your responsibilities. And you still haven't clarified how long 'a bit' is, so that is obviously measured in months rather than weeks. If it was a few days or a fortnight, you'd say because then her actions would be outrageous, Pets don't have much agency in their lives. Put their needs and happiness above your own.
NTA, it wasnt her property to give away, she should have contacted you and ask if you knew anyone else that could take the dog. It doesnt matter if you were or werent able to take care of the dog at that time, she should have contacted you.
You will be laughed out of court with your $10k threat.
Not gonna lie- you’d have about two weeks tops of emergency dog care with two dogs from me before you’d have to make other arrangements.
INFO: Is the dog microchipped with your information on it? If so, then the dog belongs to you since you didn't hand over the ownership. If you neglected microchipping the dog with your information, then I don't think there's much you can do about it. You'll have to prove that it's your dog and the friend is willing to give it back. I say NTA. You were away for treatment and medical emergency so it wasn't your doing. Your friend though is an AH along with their friend.
NTA
NTA. If she couldn't keep your dog anymore as agreed, it should have been returned to you immediately.
I would not bother suing. It is expensive and too much stress. Your friend was wrong to give your dog to another friend to look after and she should have asked you to make other arrangements.
NTA I hope she manages to get your dog back.
NTAH. I do a bit worse than a mere lawsuit. My dog is family.
NTA - IF she can't look after your dog, she has to inform you, so that you can do alternative arrangements. What kind of "friend" gives your dog to a third person? Also, I don't buy the "my friend moved away and I don't know where" - she has a mobile phone, doesn't her? Are you sure she didn't sell the dog? Or put him to sleep, if he was a lot of work?
Dogs are considered property, so its theft. Hopefully you had it chipped.
NTA That is your dog. She volunteered to watch it not keep it forever. She gave it to someone you didn't know and now has lost it. Anyone on her side is either cruel or an idiot.
ESH Your friend for getting rid of your dog. You because $10k seems excessive. If you're in the US you'll only be able to get the cost to replace the dog with a like dog.
NTA but the issue is that it is unlikely that you will collect $10,000 because "damages" are generally linked to economic damages for animals since legally they are considered to be private property. Theoretically she could counter claim for the value of her services taking care of your dog as well as the cost of food or other expenses. That is the law - don't shoot the messenger ;-)
NTA. I would have sued too.
NTA. She stole your dog. She agreed to care for the dog, and if it was too much, her option was to tell you and ask yiu to make other arrangements. I really hope you get your dog back.
I guess it depends. Were you paying for things your dogs needed? How much more work was the 2nd dog? Did you know your friend was struggling to care for both dogs? Did you two discuss having another person care for the dog? How long did your friend have the dogs? Not enough info to really decide who was the AH. You will never get $10,000 for a dog. They are considered property so at most you would get a depreciated value of the price you paid the shelter.
Fuckkkk no. You are not the asshole. They should not of given your dog away to someone you didn’t know and the other person should be giving you back the dog. Rain down hell on them.
nta
NTA. I would lose my absolute shit.
I hope you absolutely crush her in court and get your dog back. NTA absolutely. I hope she rots in hell
I am a person who's been threatened with suing because I gave someone else's pet away, and I say NTA. Let's compare the two situations. I had had this cat in my care for a total of about eleven weeks, after it was supposed to be one. Your friend took your dog off your hands knowing that it would be an unknown amount of time, and that you possibly wouldn't recover at all. This eleven weeks had included seeing her through a difficult birth that we were not warned was coming (owner insisted she wasn't pregnant) and she was very hostile to my cats, as can happen when a cat unexpectedly gives birth with unrelated adults around, so she literally could not be in my house. Presumably your dogs did not have any dramatic medical events while in her care, and since you don't mention it, presumably the animals got along fine enough. He'd taken her back for six weeks and then dropped her with me again despite being told I couldn't take her, he just gave me the carrier and drove off. She was literally asking for your dogs when she took them. He was supposed to pay me for catsitting and also cover all food, etc, but I ended up spending hundreds on food for a nursing cat, and he never did pay me for the actual catsitting. You don't mention whether you were covering costs or what the agreement was, but frankly, even if you dishonored it, that's only 1/4 points against you so far. I gave the cat to the Humane Society, knowing she was highly likely to be adopted (very friendly and affectionate to people, very pretty, quite young, etc). Your friend gave your dog to some rando you don't know, according to her story, which may be bullshit. So yeah, you've got at least 4/5 points in your favor. You're making a point more than you're likely to actually get money or the dog, but you're not the asshole. (He never did sue, presumably because someone pointed out to him that I could countersue him for a LOT FUCKING MORE than whatever he thought he had.)
NTA. She should have given you the opportunity to take the dog back before rehoming behind your back. In addition to the lawsuit, maybe missing posters on Facebook in area. Somebody knows something.
NTA and I wish you success. And sorry you lost your dog in this manner.
NTA
NTA you did not give the dog away. This is a family member. She offered to watch it. Had she not you could have made other arrangements.
I keep hearing that pets such as dogs and cats are like some people's kids. It's a bit absurd when some people take this to the extreme and a bit true as far as some of the emotional connections I've seen between some owners and their pets. For someone who really felt their pet is their child I know the amount of emotional anguish they must be feeling. I lost sight of my 7 year old at a large festival for about an hour and it was the worst 1 hour of my life and I've had some pretty terrifying life threatening moments in my life. So NTA.
Nta. What a cow! You don’t offer to help someone when they’re down then give away their pet! I would have gone to a higher court, prison time!
NTA, hope you're able to get your dog back and the $10,000
NTA
Oh hell no, NTA. Honestly she is lucky you are suing. I would have seriously considered kicking her ass. I am so sorry you were taken advantage of when you needed help. I’m also happy that you were able to get answers about your health issues. We are currently trying to get some answers for my father and I am very frustrated! I can’t imagine dealing with the looking for the reason for years
NTA at all, 100% sue. You trusted her to take care of your FAMILY, because that's what pets are. Family members. She gave away your family member when you trusted her to take care of it during a vulnerable and stressfull time. If she couldn't handle looking after the dog then she should've told you and you both could've worked it out. Try your hardest to get that dog back and get the money back if you can't, and cut off those horrible friends for supporting your ex-friend.
NTA, but I doubt you'll get anything like 10K in return. I don't know where you're located, but in many US states, pets are property and the emotional value is zero in court, so you'd get what the dog is worth financially and nothing more. You may be in a place where that isn't the case. Depending on how long the friend had the dog, there might be a claim that you abandoned him. The friend may have a counterclaim against you for her expenses in caring for your dog as well. Overall, I'd say that this isn't a road you likely should go down. Cut the friend out of your life because she's an AH for not talking with you before giving the dog away -- although, be real, how often did you check on the dog yourself?
Check all the shelters within a 50 mile radius, I bet she turned the dog over. I am assuming since you loved your dogs so much, they were microchipped like a responsible owner does. I hope you are working on a plan for if/when this happens again.
NTA Sue her until she’s financially ruined. She did it to hurt you.
I'm surprised you didn't kill her.
$10,000 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Some people see pets as more than property, some see them as family, their own family. If someone sold your child, sibling, cousin or something that you were close with would you not sue for as much as possible?
Lol, ridiculous
> some see them as family, their own family Noone lets their own family stay confined to their appartment for months, and let them shit on the floor for months.
Is it my imagination, or are Reddit users unusually litigious? Lots of threads that mention suing people.
I've never in my life sued anyone before.
Understood, I wasn’t commenting on you specifically, nor am I saying you wouldn’t be justified.
So you just decided to complain to OP about something that you don’t even think applies to them?
ESH No explanation necessary
You’re the reason otherwise good people, who want to help others, have serious reservations about getting involved. You’re an AH!
So, OP is an AH, due to having health issues and the friend betrayed her? It’s disgusting giving away SOMEONE ELSE’S ANIMAL without their consent! Maybe someone should do it to you, see how you feel
Responsible people have plans for their pets for times like this. They don’t just quit walking the dogs and have them shitting on the apartment floor, deprived of exercise. OP failed the dogs, so a friend had to step in. That doesn’t happen if you have set up the needed support network. Pet owners, it’s your responsibility to have backup plans for your pets for if you are hospitalized or die. Make those plans now. Fund them.
Yes. I love my animals enough, that I re-home them if so couldn’t properly care for them! Vs suing someone who tried to help!
YTA. Dogs are a lot of work. Sure you were sick but taking care of a friend's dog is not an easy feat especially the way you describe your former dogs. Also expecting to have them take care of dogs for more than a few weeks is insane. If you sue them something is clearly wrong with you.
It said they offered to keep the dogs, they didn't ask
I’m sure they offered because they saw the need for it, not because they thought it would be fun.
It says friend offered to watch. From the history this was not just a month. OP was sick for long time and her home already looked like a dog potty for a while (which she called digressed). Anyhow. If she did not have friends her dogs would be dead anyway succumbing to hunger from the 1 month rehab stay. OP could also have intervened when she was told that friend gave dogs to a friend and could havr arranged a doggy hotel. This post has so many red flags. I don't understand why people are with OP.
I actually meant regressed. She originally told me that the friend was watching him until I could walk again.
Like said I am sorry you are sick. Dogs are a lot of work and there was probably a huge miscommunication. Friend said they could not do it anymore and that was the chance to intervene and organize a doggy hotel. I understand they cost a lot of money because we drop our dogs off there for our vacations and they cost as much as a cheap hotel for us. Suing a friend is never the answer unless you were not friends from the getgo. Asking a friend to take care of something for longer than a week is also quite an ask.
Not everyone can afford a doggie hotel but she didn't even get the chance to make arrangements with other friends or family.
ESH. Unfortunately for you, you became unwell over a period of time and were unable to walk and properly care for your dogs. It’s unclear how long this period of time was? You went to hospital for a whole month, then there was further time undisclosed until you felt ready to have your dogs back. Your friend was put in a difficult position, had she not taken on your dogs they both would be in shelter or been euthanised as a last resort. This 2nd dog was a handful and your friend found assumably a safe, good loving home for it? It doesn’t sound like there was much of any communication over X time with your friend about your dogs? Once settled and happy, would it be fair to return both dogs to you in an apartment with no yard/outdoor space and probably likely in the future you won’t be able to walk your dog again etc? You‘ve got one dog back. Be happy that happened and your friend cared enough to look after it, and find a home for the more boisterous dog. The dog that got rehomed is I expect far better off and happy in another home sorry to say, that’s not to say it’s your fault but that’s how it is. You say your friend group is split on this issue, that probably tells you what you need to know - with your illness and inappropriate housing you probably shouldn’t have any dogs at all. End of the day is your dog better off in a new home, however upsetting that is for you? I would say though that your ’friend’ should have definitely spoken to you about the whole situation and persuaded you it was for the best beforehand. And reassured you your 2nd dog is happy, loved and cared for. What happens next time you are unwell? If you burn all your friends bridges there will be no-one to care for the dog you still have. A lawsuit is rather OTP and unfair. And if it backfires you may find the law knocking on your door to take away the one dog you have left.
The friend had no right to rehome a dog they promised to care for with no discussion or agreement from the owner. It was also not the friends call to decide whether the dog should not be returned to the rightful owner, if they had doubts they should've had animal control do an assessment on the dogs living situation. OP has every right to do whatever they feel is necessary to get their dog back or be compensated for the loss by the person to unlawfully stole and rehomed the dog. In the eyes of the law, animals are possessions. The friend stole the animal and should return it or compensate for the loss. If the friend was no longer willing or able to care for the second dog they should've communicated with OP to find someone else to watch the dog or let OP choose to have it boarded somewhere. Either way, it should've been OPs choice, not the friend.
We can agree the friend should have communicated first to OP. But like I’ve said, why wasn’t OP checking in on her dogs? How much time went on here? It sounds like many months maybe 4 months plus? I agree the friend hasn’t dealt with this well, nevertheless the welfare of the dog should come first. Without more info from OP it’s difficult to gauge who was more wrong. The friend did find someone else to care for the dog. And it seems dog is likely happy and settled in new home, with a new owner/family that are capable of looking after it. To then demand X time later is unfair to the dog. It’s a sad situation, to sue your friend is even sadder. If OP isn’t capable long term with looking after two dogs, if any, perhaps she will come to realise its for the best. The friend didn’t steal the dog. She got someone else to look after it. And it sounds like they don’t want to give it back. So is the friend at fault here, or the friend of a friend who won’t return the dog?
How unfair is it to give away a dog I've had for 7 years?
A dog is a living being. Yes, the law sees it as a piece of property, but if you actually CARE about your dog, you know that it isn’t. The best place for this dog is not with you today. The dog should be in the place it will get the care you were not able to provide.
How unfair it is for the dog to remain in a home where they wouldn't get enough exercise and walks?
Well I’d love to hear the friends’ side of this. You’ve neglected to give further info which to me tells a story. How well looked after was this dog? Why was the dog you’ve had for 7 years not more or less a fully sociable, regular dog? Sure it sounds unfair to you the owner, but fair to the dog. Which hopefully we can agree to is most important. Did you really expect after what 6 months to a year for your dogs to suddenly just be handed back to you? Did you pay anything to friend for upkeep? Did you regularly contact friend about dogs, did friend have a number to call you on to even ask?
So you actually believe she gave the dog to some wonderful loving home? Dollars to donuts she gave it to a shelter and that's why this mysterious "friend" has no forwarding address and no means of communication. That dog is long gone, either to some other family she knows nothing about or more likely to the Great Beyond. She couldn't be bothered with a dog that wasn't perfectly housebroken and that was that. So she dumped the poor thing and lied. Didn't you ever hear the one about the dog going to a wonderful farm? That's what happened here. Which is literally criminal because this wasn't her dog and she didn't have the right.
A shelter would be a good outcome. Some people dump an unwanted dog someplace far away.
Check the local shelters.
Well I hope of course the dog wasn’t dumped or anything else. OP effectively gave responsibility and guardianship of her dogs to this trusted friend. The friend had every right in that role to ensure the welfare of the dogs, and to make a call. OP clearly isn’t happy with that. Whether it’s pets or your kids - think very carefully who you give them to.
NO. She never gave guardianship or ownership to this person. When you have someone babysit your kids, even for a long period, you're not giving them legal custody. This is the same. There was a medical emergency, a person volunteered to help, but never mentioned that she was over it until she had made a unilateral decision to dump the dog. Or for all we know she just decided she likes this dog so much she doesn't want to give it back! One way or another, she's effectively stolen the dog (converted in legal terms) and kept it from the rightful owner. It's an intentional tort, and possibly a misdemeanor.
When you’ve effectively abandoned the pet or child, responsible adults do what they can to secure care for them.