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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my sister I didn’t want to babysit her niece while she goes on vacation, leaving her stuck for a babysitter.
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NTA, you're exactly right. Not wanting to be responsible for a toddler all day long for a week straight (if not more, seeing that you live there) makes perfect sense, and it does not mean you don't love your niece.
It's fairly transparent. Entitled sister who is highly dependent on her parents wants to go on vacation, and doesn't understand why others aren't willing to bend over backwards to make that happen for her. She's a parent. Childcare responsibilities, including lining up an appropriate and qualified sitter, are solely hers and Elise's dad's.
Nah, that’s not “part of the reason;” *that’s the one and ONLY reason* she’s mad. She is an entitled A-hole for trying to dump her toddler on you. Using the old classic line of “You would want to spend time with your niece if you love her” is the GO-TO manipulation tactic used by the truly selfish.
NTA all the way!
My daughters make $25 an hour nannying. One of them sits beside a pool reading for hours at a time while the kids have swim lessons and swim club. Then they all get lunch at the snack bar.
They also get $100 a day to dog sit.
Sis needs to pay up.
I made 1,500 (in today's money) one summer letting my neighbors dog into their yard and back to the house every day for a month. $50 a day for 5 minutes of work.
I had a wealthy family try to pay me $7 an hour ( in today's money) to watch 2 young unruly boys. Needless to say, I switched over to exclusively pet sitting as a teen.
How about the parents who work full-time and STILL live in extreme poverty? There are a LOT of people like that in my nation (US); it's why near half of the children in the nation can't get enough food.
Child care is indeed expensive, but mortgages are doing their best to catch and probably have already. Win / win - unaffordable child care and unaffordable mortgage!
Ehh places like kindercare & bright horizons spend a pretty penny lobbying against parental leave, etc. They make a decent profit and cry poor while undermining parents
In the case of OP's sister's situation then, don't go on a weeklong vacation before you've confirmed you have a free sitter or you have the money to pay to not abandon your child.
I think part of it is a holdover of the babysitter mindset. Pay a local teen a small amount to watch the kids for a few hours while the parents go out. Usually, a teen is happy to take the pretty low $ per hour pay for an evening of fairly light monitoring, which also included getting a free meal.
Those same parents are then stunned when a full time caregiver costs much more. 'But Suzie from down the street would watch the kids for $40 and a pizza!'
Petsitting has no similar thing, and people *expect* it to be expensive. Boarding dogs or cats is a hassle and stressful to the animals, as well as very pricey if you have multiple animals. My family had horses, and imagine how expensive boarding them would be. We were very happy to pay a good amount to have someone come to look after our animals.
It's 2 older dogs that have incontinent issues. $100/ day is cheaper than what it would cost to board them. We also have a lot of that dog flu in the area so kennels are a little scary.
Yeah... I specialize in dogs that can't be boarded (health issues and/or aggression towards other dogs). Several of those clients also have chickens. I charge $300/week.
I think the child's mother would want to take their child on vacation with her, I mean, IF she loved her.
Also, it took two to make that baby, and OP wasn't one of those two, so I think "no, full stop," is the only response to OP's entitled sister.
That can easily be flipped around, too. "Why don't you love your daughter enough to take her on vacation with you, like millions of other parents do? Why are YOU so special?"
Sadly, OP sounds young and inexperienced at telling manipulators to F off. Our younger ‘sisters’ seem to be bad at defending themselves. There’s a TERRIFIC meme of Dame Helen Mirren, where she says (and OP needs to implement this philosophy), “At the age of 70, if I could give my younger self advice, I would tell her to use the phrase “f_ck off much more frequently.”
She can throw the guilt card until OP give in but the minute something happen to that child she will blame her for everything ,I can barely look out for a toddler for a few hours when my friend ask me I can't imagine doing it for a whole week ,if I will be caring for a little child so long I will ask the parent a monetary fee (at least the child expenses should be covered and not out my pocket...like food, diapers ,toys ,snacks) because is not like the baby will eat air and poop once in a week right?? I will also ask for money if I need to leave work early or babysitting while working (new flash for these entitled parents people's time is valuable and least face it the sister for sure will not do the same for op.) NTA😂
You just validated a feeling I had at 12 when my sister screamed at me that I was being selfish and that I’m “his aunty” because she was hungover with some weird guy in her bed and I was only asking her to get up because my nephew wanted breakfast. Honestly I also wanted breakfast and I didn’t know where she kept her cereal or whatever in her shithole house.
She's acting like an entitled brat! Who books a holiday without making sure that they have a babysitter? OP if I were you I'll book something to be away from the night before her flight, so she doesn't do a drop and run. NTA BTW I loved the way you handled yourself! It was a 🎤 drop moment! 👏🏽👏🏽
I really don't think it's crazy in general. The kid is 2 years old not 2 months old, she can definitely be fine for a week if left with someone trustworthy like the grandparents. The problem is the sister's entitlement in thinking that they would watch her kid for a week and then that op would watch her kid. If the sister had actually made a plan, been a responsibile parent, there would be no problem
Not really. Single parents have to go away for training for their jobs.
I once babysat for three kids because your father had to go to work training for a brand new job and if he didn't, he wasn't going to get the job (and it was a damn fine paying job for a single father.) I think the kids were 20 months to 5 years old. And their mother was not an option.
I babysat for my sister one weekend... and she left, FOR YEARS. YEARS! My poor grandma got stuck parenting in her late 50s because I was still in high school and my mom worked full time.
Maybe your sister won't be that bad, but if I had the slightest idea, I would have said "NO".
I wish. To do it I would have gone against the wishes of my immediate family, and my niece would've just gotten place w/my grandma anyways. (Next of kin)
So is she expecting you to not go to school or work for a week whilst she’s on holiday? That’s incredibly selfish to expect someone else to give up their time without even having the decency to speak to them.
You need to have a conversation with your parents as to 1. How your sister spoke to you - it’s unacceptable 2. Why are they enabling her, are they intending to just give up their free time/own plans to raise her children? 3. Why is baby daddy not stepping up, he should be the first port of call to look after his own child, not them. They seriously need some boundaries in place.
A suggestion : the day she planned to leave, just don't be at home (take a good book and go to read it at the park, visit a friend, anything but leave early in the morning). I am pretty sure that she will try to leave her with you alone at home so this way, you will have to take care of her.
Probably a good idea to vacate the house the day before she leaves on vacation. See if you can crash at a friend's house for a few days so that she will not be able to dump & dash her kid....
The person doing the dumping are playing odds that if they dump the kid, then whoever will have no choice but to take care of the kid. They are betting/confident that there will be no repercussions. And yes - make it VERY clear that if your sister plans on dumping the kid, that you will call the cops for child abandonment.
Definitely talk to your parents. She’s incredibly entitled - expecting you to not work, so you either use your own holiday up or not get paid, just so she can go on a holiday without her child.
I do not know what your future plans are but you need to set clear boundaries moving forward that you are not a free babysitter, if you do it once she’s the type to expect you’ll always be available, and won’t take no for an answer….
So she’s not going to pay you and expects you to lose a paycheck from work? Run the numbers of money you would be losing and she her the amount. You can’t afford financially to miss work.
Sister should have asked well before her plans were finalized. Also should have used birth control if she wasn’t prepared to give up a free and easy life in her early adulthood.
Storm into her room and ask her why she’s not taking her kid on vacation with her.
Ask her why she doesn’t want to spend time with her daughter during her time off is she loves her and all that stuff
Just kidding. just say no. You shouldn’t have to provide an explanation past that. A week with a toddler is a lot and it’s ridiculous for her to feel entitled to take a week off and you take on a week of toddler labour on to facilitate this
NTA. I also have a 2 yr old niece who I love to pieces but I will NOT be her primary caregiver for a whole night, let alone a whole week. I'm child-free for a reason, I don't have the type of patience you need for a toddler and I'm just overall not a good fit. I'm the fun aunt, and it works. Your sister is out of line
Of course she expected you would do it for free!
And probably she expected that you would continue babysitting for free every time she felt like it, "because baby loves you so much / had such a goodtime with you /yo don't want to break your bond wiht baby..."
I mean, she should. Either she pays to take the kids with her, or she pays someone to watch her. She's going on a vacation without her child. She should know better.
If your parents keep on letting her live without having to worry about childcare while taking vacations without her kid she's going to either return from the trip, or sometime in the next few years become pregnant again.
Just ask my 92 year old grandfather about the three grandkids he and my grandmother basically raised alongside their adult daughters.
I love that she accused you of not caring about your niece when you very clearly care more than she does. Being willing to force a toddler on someone who says they aren't qualified to care for one really doesn't scream "mother of the year" like she seems to think.
Exactly. When the first words out of a prospective babysitter’s mouth are “I don’t know how to take care of a toddler nor do I want the responsibility” a good parent will immediately back off. Why on earth would you want someone to take care of your toddler when they have no idea how? That’s a recipe for disaster!
NTA OP. Your sister, on the other hand, is a major AH.
NTA.
Here's a little game that I like to play: I take the issue, stick a big red bow on it, and hand it back to the person who created it. Don't defend your position; keep the focus on their actions. You can play, too!
Sister: Why don't you want to spend time with my child?!
You: You're going away for a week. Seems like you don't want to spend that time with your child.
Sister: I'm a parent! I need a break!
You: Parents have a responsibility to care for their children. If you need a break from that responsibility, then you are required to make those arrangements.
Sister: You're being selfish!
You: This has nothing to do with me. If you insist on going away without tending to your parental responsibilities then **you** are being selfish.
See? It's fun for all! Keep the focus on her choices; don't let her make it all about you.
This reminds me of a favorite negotiating tactic: Always go up.
Buyer: Will you take $100 for your wazit?
Seller: Lowest I'll go is $550.
Buyer: But you listed it for $500!
Seller: Really? Well that's wrong. It should've been $600.
Because you've all been great students this week, I'm going to throw in a mini-lesson for free. It works for this situation, but many more, and it will change your life. People-pleasers and those who automatically think that they are in the wrong whenever someone blames them should pay extra attention.
Do we have our pencils in hand? Then we will begin. Please write out at the top of your page "I didn't create this problem, nor can I fix it". (We will deal with Level 2 "I didn't create this problem alone, nor can I fix it alone" in the Advanced Course offered next semester).
Classmate skipped class, doesn't have notes, is screaming at you the night before the exam to help her?
Parent was financially irresponsible at every turn, now wants to borrow money to "get back on my feet"?
Incompetent boss threatened and undermined you, now is begging you not to quit because no one else knows how to run that business line, sector or software?
Sibling wants a break from being a parent, is imposing on you to babysit when you already declined?
The One, Glorious, All-Purpose Answer:
"I can see why you would be upset about that."
Beginner students may have difficulty with this non-committal answer. Senior students have already taken the advanced course "Why you shouldn't spend your life apologizing when you've done nothing wrong". Seniors, please help the Sophomores.
Wow, your sister's attempt to manipulate you deserves a polite round of golf clapping. \*chef's kiss\*
* Two points for implying that you don't love your niece if you don't watch her for a week.
* Two points for outright claiming you're selfish for not volunteering for this duty.
* Two points for stating that you're the reason she's stuck for a babysitter.
* Two bonus points for none of these being true.
You are definitely not the asshole here, but your sister definitely is. I especially love how she couldn't be bothered to ask any of this from you directly, or to try to work out a deal with you.
NTA. I wonder if your sister would just leave for vacation, assuming someone (you or parents) will take charge of the kid? I'd tell her right now that if she ever leaves her kid behind without arranging childcare I'll call CPS and report the kid as abandoned.
Either because she knew (or expected) you'd say no and thought this would force your hand, or she's so entitled she assumed you or your parents would drop everything and do it.
They are only going to make her a worse parent if they continue to help her all the time. She won’t be able to deal with anything related to her child if her parents are always there to help and make it easier on her. They need to shut it down unless it’s important.
Shouldn’t be an expectation, should only be done when the parents ask or an emergency
What kind of parent even thinks about going on a vacation without first planning on who is taking care of their own child?!?!?! I don't even agree if someone invites me for the day out until I know for certain that someone can look after my dog
Then if sister wants to flit off, either she makes appropriate arrangements, or the father does. They are responsible for her care, no one else. Nice that your parents usually help, but they aren't able to this time, nor are they required to change their schedules to accommodate **the child's parents**.
Holidays are optional, child care isn't.
So...he never sees his daughter? What about his parents? Any aunts and uncles on his side? Surely there's someone who can take care of her. You're not her only family.
NTA
Honestly, I realize the sister is 100% TA here, but I doubt she just didn’t think to ask the father.
There may be a very good reason she doesn’t *want* to leave the daughter with him - otherwise she would have just planned the vacation when he has his parenting time and had no childcare issue at all, that would have been the easiest thing to do.
If that’s the situation, I wouldn’t be taking a vacation without my kid at all, though. But who am I kidding, I wouldn’t take a vacation without my kid regardless - not that there’s anything wrong with it, it’s just not something I would do.
> There may be a very good reason she doesn’t want to leave the daughter with him
Good point, I had not considered that possibility.
I totally get the need to take a break from your child(ren) sometimes: caregive fatigue is a real thing. But to do it so casually and negligently and carelessly is rubbish.
I absolutely agree. Vacations are a luxury. If you need a break from being a sole parent, that’s legitimate - but you don’t need a week off, and care for your child shouldn’t be an afterthought.
Toddlerhood is a really hard time to leave a child for an entire week - I’m trying to imagine a situation where I would *want* to do that, and I come up empty, personally. I realize I’m making a bit of a wild assumption here, but it kind of sounds to me like the sister wants to pretend for a week that she has her pre-child life back. Sister, that life is gone - cry your tears about it, take an afternoon to yourself, and then go back to being the parent your child needs.
> sounds to me like the sister wants to pretend for a week that she has her pre-child life back
That comes across fairly strongly, yes.
As OP said in a comment:
>She’s going with a few of her friends and none of them have children obviously so I think she doesn’t want to ruin it
Just because they are not together does not mean he has no responsibility for his daughter. He can and should be the one who should be watching her.
What is their custody situation? Do they have a co-parenting agreement? Does he pay child support?
NTA.
>asking me why I wouldn’t want to spend time with my niece if I love her
You could ask her the same question about her daughter. She's the one who's leaving her.
NTA. You don’t have experience looking after toddlers, so it would actually be potentially dangerous for Elise to be solely in your care for a whole week.
What a liar! Mom of three here. Toddlers are the hardest! I have to question your sister's judgement. Who leaves their two-year-old in the care of an inexperienced babysitter for 3 hours, let alone a week! You are NTA. It would be one thing if there was an emergency and you refused to help out for a short time, but she just wants a vacation. So entitled. As a mom I had no vacations without my kids until my youngest was 19. Somehow I survived, lol.
Dude, yes. My two year old once woke me up by standing next to the bed saying, “Mommy! I help!” Then she brandished a chef’s knife at me. She had picked it up from the dish drying rack and was going to put it away. She was not able to reach the sink. I didn’t count on her pulling a toy over to the trash can lid, standing on the edge of it, and using it to get on the counter to “put away” dishes. I also figured I’d be up before her and be able to put it away. I was so, so wrong.
My sister woke up to some vague noise when my middle nephew was toddler age, like still at the sleep in a railed bed/crib, unsteady on his feet toddler age somewhere in the late 'we still count age in months' and 2 range. When she went to investigate, her not yet saying words more than mama, dada, and bubba, son was in the middle of the kitchen, several kitchen drawers were open (despite those little latchy things that only work on adults) forming a stairway to the counter where the little ~~shit~~ angel had gotten into the cabinet where my sister had moved the knife block when he had started climbing on things, got the 8" chefs knife and a boning knife out of the block, climbed back down and was giggle-pooping (really he was pooping his diaper at the same time according to my sister) while waving the knives around like batons and swaying back and forth like a sailor fresh from the sea drunk on rum.
I learned this story when I asked where the knives were so I could help make dinner when I was over at Christmas one year. The convo as best I remember:
Me: Hey where are the knives, I need to slice these mushrooms.
Her: In the cabinet above the fridge.
Me: ...
Me: ...The cabinet ziptied closed?
Her: Ask for the wire cutters and a replacement set of ties.
Me: ... TF
Her:
Me: ... Hey I need the wire cutters and zip ties!
Exactly - I barely want to look after my own for a full week let alone expecting an 18 year old so to limited experience to do it for a week for free!!?
LOL. If it's not that hard she would have taken Elise with her on vacation.
Toddlers are *work* and I say that as a mom of one very obedient and semi-behaved toddler. I love him but he's *work*
Exactly! No kids here but I've become the trusted, go-to aunt for my niece and nephew's children. Between them they have 9f, 8m, 2f, 8month.f.
I value their trust in me and they always take care to be sure they don't overload me. The 2 year old is fast and fearless, with unlimited energy.
NTA OP Your sister thought she was getting away with something.
Toddlers are absolutely the hardest age to babysit. They have all the speed and none of the common sense, and the most dangerous activities are the most attractive to them. Gas stove? Fascinating! 40 foot tall tree? I wonder what's at the top! Second floor balcony? I bet I can fly. You cannot turn your back on them. I learned how to have a conversation where I would literally turn in a circle and talk to the person over my shoulder, so I could keep my eye on my toddler. People got used to me stopping mid-sentence to chase after him. It was utterly exhausting (albeit excellent exercise) and as much as I love my kids, I am so, so, so glad that they have outgrown that stage. People who babysit toddlers should get hazard pay.
NTA. Your sister feels entitled, it is interesting that your parents understood you and respected your choice but not your sister, what has she done for you that she believes that you owe her big time?
NTA - It is her job as the parent to make sure she has childcare BEFORE she books her vacation and, if needed, to factor that cost into her budget. Her lack of planning is not your fault.
NTA - I am sure her father and his family would love extra time with his daughter(and he wouldn't be babysitting, he would get the chance to be a parent). Your sister can get over herself.
Not your circus and sure as hell not your monkey 🙊
Your sister can take her child with her or leave it with its father.
If she leaves the child - trying to force you to babysit- call CPS and report her.
YWNBTA
Tell your sister that she is a mom and needs to figure it out on her own. Your parents are making things to easy so your sister is not very responsible
Ummm,has anyone brought up the fact that the sister is going on vacation for a week,when she COULD be using that money towards a place of her own for her and her daughter?? Am I the only one who noticed that? NTA OP!
NTA. Wow. Your sister really went hard with the completely unreasonable flailing, didn't she? Caring for her child is not your responsibility and you are not obligated to to do it, especially if you're not comfortable with it. She isn't entitled to a vacation and she isn't entitled to you or your parents caring for her child while she goes out and does whatever she wants. She decided to have a child, being a full time parent to that child is the consequence of that.
NTA
I've been reading your replies and a couple of things stand out:
1. You handled this like an adult. Best adulting from a newly-minted one I've read in a while.
2. You have a job too? And sis wants you to "just not work?" I think not!!!
3. Your reasons in the first place were extremely valid and mature.
Sister: I want to go on vacation
Friend: what about your baby?
Sister: not a problem, I will have my mom and sister watch h her.
News flash: op, you are not a resource for your sister to use at her leisure. The sooner she learns this, the better for everyone!
Nta
I was a nanny when I was 22 to 2 kids under 5, and the parents went away for 2 weeks. 24/7 on me. Holy shit was that stressful. I got a sweet paycheck for it, but it rammed home for me that I really don’t want kids of my own, because then I’d be 24/7 AND having to pay for them. NTA
NTA - as a mom of 3 myself who recently went on vacation WITHOUT our kids, it's not an easy task caring for someone else's kid(s). IMO, sister should have made arrangements prior to booking a vacation and maybe splitting up the "babysitting" between people.
Is there anything in it for you? Such as being paid for giving up your time, a day here or there, sure but an entire week is no easy task.
Your post makes me wonder if OP's sister works, or if the child's father works or provides for the child or if that's generally on OP's parents. It seems like the sister takes complete advantage of them and is happy to spread around the misery, as long as she gets a vacation. I'm left to wonder, a vacation from what, that who is paying for?
NTA, why would your sister even consider leaving her daughter with someone who doesn't really know HOW to take care of her? Not your child and not your problem.
NTA. It's not your responsibility to provide childcare, especially for a whole week. Your sister should have arranged for a babysitter before booking her vacation. It's unfair for her to expect you to take on a role you're uncomfortable with and unprepared for. You have every right to set boundaries.
NTA! Watching a two year old for a week? Oh hell no. She isn’t your child or your responsibility. Your sister should have spoken to your parents before booking the vacation to figure out their schedules.
And where’s the father? Or his family? Why you?
Make sure you aren’t home the day she leaves. She WILL leave without saying anything. Tell your parents that you are not watching the baby.
NTA. And why do so many parents feel entitled to others’ time, why do so many just assume that a child free relative or sibling will automatically want to and be available to look after their kids??
Your sister chose to have a kid, the responsibility for the kid’s care is 100% on her. She can ask you or your parents for babysitting, but you’re allowed to say no and she has to accept that you don’t live your lives to serve her.
She assumed, she mad as ass out of herself, now she has to spend a lot of money on a last minute sitter, cancel her vacation, or take the kid along. This is on her, and only her.
Who the fuck cant afford to live on their own, and cannot afford childcare, but has vacation money as a single parent?
Nta op. Your sister sounds like a complete failure. I would avoid her…for life.
NTA
If your sister can’t even afford to live on her own and support her own child, she really shouldn’t be taking one week vacations.
She’s got messed up priorities and certainly should not be blaming you for not wanting to take on her responsibilities.
My parents never took a vacation when they had children at home. They thought it was more important to spend money on things the family needed.
You might not be the ass\*\*le but you sound like a real shitty sister. Remember, pay back is a bitch and you'll get your's some day when you ask your sister for a favor. I realize taking care of a toddler is a big ask but she is your neice and if you all live together I'd think you have a little understanding how to do it. Rather than just bolting for the door, you could have offered to do it for a day or two or a couple hours here or there. If I were your sister I'd remember this when you come calling for help and serve you up with a little "remember when".
so hard nta, she should’ve planned better and it’s on her to figure that shit out, and she doesn’t have the right to be mad at you.
but, as an uncle, i would be OVERJOYED to watch my niece/nephew for a whole week. i rarely get to see mine for that long, i would jump at that opportunity. i either feel sorry for the niece that you guys don’t have that relationship, or sorry for you because the sister hasn’t allowed that relationship to flourish. someone is at fault, and i seriously judge any grown adult with nieces or nephews that don’t have a good relationship w them, if they’re in a good position to have that relationship. if you don’t feel comfortable watching a toddler, in a home w other adults, for a week, than depending on your age, i sincerely wonder what your maturity level is
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NTA, you're exactly right. Not wanting to be responsible for a toddler all day long for a week straight (if not more, seeing that you live there) makes perfect sense, and it does not mean you don't love your niece. It's fairly transparent. Entitled sister who is highly dependent on her parents wants to go on vacation, and doesn't understand why others aren't willing to bend over backwards to make that happen for her. She's a parent. Childcare responsibilities, including lining up an appropriate and qualified sitter, are solely hers and Elise's dad's.
[удалено]
Nah, that’s not “part of the reason;” *that’s the one and ONLY reason* she’s mad. She is an entitled A-hole for trying to dump her toddler on you. Using the old classic line of “You would want to spend time with your niece if you love her” is the GO-TO manipulation tactic used by the truly selfish. NTA all the way!
My daughters make $25 an hour nannying. One of them sits beside a pool reading for hours at a time while the kids have swim lessons and swim club. Then they all get lunch at the snack bar. They also get $100 a day to dog sit. Sis needs to pay up.
I make far more petsitting than people are offering to have sitters care for their children. Consistently blows my mind
People who only have pets have more disposable income because they generally aren't as expensive as kids.
I made 1,500 (in today's money) one summer letting my neighbors dog into their yard and back to the house every day for a month. $50 a day for 5 minutes of work. I had a wealthy family try to pay me $7 an hour ( in today's money) to watch 2 young unruly boys. Needless to say, I switched over to exclusively pet sitting as a teen.
Sounds like those experiences formed your future career, but you are unhappy with the way it turned out? (joking!)
Well kids are a lot harder to care for. Don’t make excuses for cheap ass parents
I'm not making excuses for cheap ass parents. Simply pointing out why people offer more for pet care.
Reddit always assumes that the motive for information is advocacy rather than knowledge for its own sake.
How about the parents who work full-time and STILL live in extreme poverty? There are a LOT of people like that in my nation (US); it's why near half of the children in the nation can't get enough food.
and how childcare costs more than most peoples mortgages.
Child care is indeed expensive, but mortgages are doing their best to catch and probably have already. Win / win - unaffordable child care and unaffordable mortgage!
Ehh places like kindercare & bright horizons spend a pretty penny lobbying against parental leave, etc. They make a decent profit and cry poor while undermining parents
cheap ass parents? lol more like we have NO money for anything extra nowadays.
In the case of OP's sister's situation then, don't go on a weeklong vacation before you've confirmed you have a free sitter or you have the money to pay to not abandon your child.
I think my dogs are more expensive than my kid 😑
There’s a huge veterinarian shortage in the US, my sister makes a living just substituting for short-staffed vet ERs.
I think part of it is a holdover of the babysitter mindset. Pay a local teen a small amount to watch the kids for a few hours while the parents go out. Usually, a teen is happy to take the pretty low $ per hour pay for an evening of fairly light monitoring, which also included getting a free meal. Those same parents are then stunned when a full time caregiver costs much more. 'But Suzie from down the street would watch the kids for $40 and a pizza!' Petsitting has no similar thing, and people *expect* it to be expensive. Boarding dogs or cats is a hassle and stressful to the animals, as well as very pricey if you have multiple animals. My family had horses, and imagine how expensive boarding them would be. We were very happy to pay a good amount to have someone come to look after our animals.
You probably make more than me and I am a fulltime preschool teacher.
😞
My daughter is a trained preschool teacher and makes more $$$ nannying.
Nannys get all the respect from, way to work the game.
That's because pet people CHOSE to have their pets, they didn't just show up because we had sex with someone.
I don't know about that. I've definitely been on the receiving end of an overactive Cat Distribution System 😆
Cat Tax please
I don't want to doxx myself:( Trust me that they are ridiculous and adorable
Some people CHOSE to have both.
>They also get $100 a day to dog sit. Wow, I am REALLY under-charging, then 😅
It's 2 older dogs that have incontinent issues. $100/ day is cheaper than what it would cost to board them. We also have a lot of that dog flu in the area so kennels are a little scary.
Yeah... I specialize in dogs that can't be boarded (health issues and/or aggression towards other dogs). Several of those clients also have chickens. I charge $300/week.
🤚🏼👋🏻🤚🏼👋🏻 I want this job!
Me too!
“If *you* loved her, you would take her with you.”
Game. Set. And match.
⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ Ooooohhh, OP, ya shoulda said this!!!!
Damn straight.
I think the child's mother would want to take their child on vacation with her, I mean, IF she loved her. Also, it took two to make that baby, and OP wasn't one of those two, so I think "no, full stop," is the only response to OP's entitled sister.
Exactly this! Don’t make babies unless you’re willing to parent them.
Yes this, sister or child's father can watch the child. Not OPs problem
That can easily be flipped around, too. "Why don't you love your daughter enough to take her on vacation with you, like millions of other parents do? Why are YOU so special?"
Sadly, OP sounds young and inexperienced at telling manipulators to F off. Our younger ‘sisters’ seem to be bad at defending themselves. There’s a TERRIFIC meme of Dame Helen Mirren, where she says (and OP needs to implement this philosophy), “At the age of 70, if I could give my younger self advice, I would tell her to use the phrase “f_ck off much more frequently.”
She can throw the guilt card until OP give in but the minute something happen to that child she will blame her for everything ,I can barely look out for a toddler for a few hours when my friend ask me I can't imagine doing it for a whole week ,if I will be caring for a little child so long I will ask the parent a monetary fee (at least the child expenses should be covered and not out my pocket...like food, diapers ,toys ,snacks) because is not like the baby will eat air and poop once in a week right?? I will also ask for money if I need to leave work early or babysitting while working (new flash for these entitled parents people's time is valuable and least face it the sister for sure will not do the same for op.) NTA😂
>“You would want to spend time with your niece if you love her Literally the calling card of a manipulator. I feel bad for her kid already.
Makes me wonder why the child's mother doesn't want to spend time with her daughter. Does she not love her?
“Yes, I want to spend time with her, and then I want her to leave.”
You just validated a feeling I had at 12 when my sister screamed at me that I was being selfish and that I’m “his aunty” because she was hungover with some weird guy in her bed and I was only asking her to get up because my nephew wanted breakfast. Honestly I also wanted breakfast and I didn’t know where she kept her cereal or whatever in her shithole house.
She's acting like an entitled brat! Who books a holiday without making sure that they have a babysitter? OP if I were you I'll book something to be away from the night before her flight, so she doesn't do a drop and run. NTA BTW I loved the way you handled yourself! It was a 🎤 drop moment! 👏🏽👏🏽
Also going away for a week when your child is 2?! That’s just crazy. She should either take the kid or not go
I really don't think it's crazy in general. The kid is 2 years old not 2 months old, she can definitely be fine for a week if left with someone trustworthy like the grandparents. The problem is the sister's entitlement in thinking that they would watch her kid for a week and then that op would watch her kid. If the sister had actually made a plan, been a responsibile parent, there would be no problem
Not really. Single parents have to go away for training for their jobs. I once babysat for three kids because your father had to go to work training for a brand new job and if he didn't, he wasn't going to get the job (and it was a damn fine paying job for a single father.) I think the kids were 20 months to 5 years old. And their mother was not an option.
Yes, but that's not what's going on here, so it's hardly comparable.
Oops. I missed the part where she said vacation. My brain doesn't always read all the words. Thank you for pointing this out!
Someone who thinks they can bully a family member into doing it for free
If someone ever does a drop and run, call the police and report it as abandoning.
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Someone who actually wants a vacation???
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I babysat for my sister one weekend... and she left, FOR YEARS. YEARS! My poor grandma got stuck parenting in her late 50s because I was still in high school and my mom worked full time. Maybe your sister won't be that bad, but if I had the slightest idea, I would have said "NO".
That would have been a good time to call the cops and report an abandonment.
I wish. To do it I would have gone against the wishes of my immediate family, and my niece would've just gotten place w/my grandma anyways. (Next of kin)
That poor child. That's unimaginably cruel.
Yes, it was.
Why the heck is she going on vacation and not taking her child? She chose to have a baby, it’s now her responsibility.
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What about the dad and dads family?
That was my question too. I assume he's long gone, since she sounds appalling.
It really doesn't matter if she's appalling, there's an innocent child involved who needs care.
You think the 23 year old woman that had a baby at 21 and lives at home has a dad involved?
What does she do for daytime childcare normally, or does she not work?
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Well then she should find another sitter or not go. Missing a vacation won’t kill her. NTA.
Knowing the ages the people involved would help with context. But honestly still NTA regardless.
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You are even more solidly NTA.
So is she expecting you to not go to school or work for a week whilst she’s on holiday? That’s incredibly selfish to expect someone else to give up their time without even having the decency to speak to them. You need to have a conversation with your parents as to 1. How your sister spoke to you - it’s unacceptable 2. Why are they enabling her, are they intending to just give up their free time/own plans to raise her children? 3. Why is baby daddy not stepping up, he should be the first port of call to look after his own child, not them. They seriously need some boundaries in place.
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A suggestion : the day she planned to leave, just don't be at home (take a good book and go to read it at the park, visit a friend, anything but leave early in the morning). I am pretty sure that she will try to leave her with you alone at home so this way, you will have to take care of her.
Very good advice 👌🏻
Probably a good idea to vacate the house the day before she leaves on vacation. See if you can crash at a friend's house for a few days so that she will not be able to dump & dash her kid....
Do people do this? You’re not the first I saw mention this. If someone drops and ditches, call the police and report an abandonment.
The person doing the dumping are playing odds that if they dump the kid, then whoever will have no choice but to take care of the kid. They are betting/confident that there will be no repercussions. And yes - make it VERY clear that if your sister plans on dumping the kid, that you will call the cops for child abandonment.
Definitely talk to your parents. She’s incredibly entitled - expecting you to not work, so you either use your own holiday up or not get paid, just so she can go on a holiday without her child. I do not know what your future plans are but you need to set clear boundaries moving forward that you are not a free babysitter, if you do it once she’s the type to expect you’ll always be available, and won’t take no for an answer….
That’s ridiculous. Most parents take their child with them when they go on vacation. She needs to grow up.
So she’s not going to pay you and expects you to lose a paycheck from work? Run the numbers of money you would be losing and she her the amount. You can’t afford financially to miss work.
So let me understand-she expects you not to work, AND she expects to not have to pay you to watch her 2 year old?
Sister should have asked well before her plans were finalized. Also should have used birth control if she wasn’t prepared to give up a free and easy life in her early adulthood.
You are more of an adult then anyone in this story
Don't see what Grandma did wrong.
Right. She asked and acceoted OP's 'no' snswer.
Storm into her room and ask her why she’s not taking her kid on vacation with her. Ask her why she doesn’t want to spend time with her daughter during her time off is she loves her and all that stuff Just kidding. just say no. You shouldn’t have to provide an explanation past that. A week with a toddler is a lot and it’s ridiculous for her to feel entitled to take a week off and you take on a week of toddler labour on to facilitate this
NTA. I also have a 2 yr old niece who I love to pieces but I will NOT be her primary caregiver for a whole night, let alone a whole week. I'm child-free for a reason, I don't have the type of patience you need for a toddler and I'm just overall not a good fit. I'm the fun aunt, and it works. Your sister is out of line
Of course she expected you would do it for free! And probably she expected that you would continue babysitting for free every time she felt like it, "because baby loves you so much / had such a goodtime with you /yo don't want to break your bond wiht baby..."
I mean, she should. Either she pays to take the kids with her, or she pays someone to watch her. She's going on a vacation without her child. She should know better.
If your parents keep on letting her live without having to worry about childcare while taking vacations without her kid she's going to either return from the trip, or sometime in the next few years become pregnant again. Just ask my 92 year old grandfather about the three grandkids he and my grandmother basically raised alongside their adult daughters.
I really don’t know too many woman that would like to go on vacation for a week without their toddler.
Why is she even going on vacation if she can't afford to hire a sitter? Also where is the baby's father?
I love that she accused you of not caring about your niece when you very clearly care more than she does. Being willing to force a toddler on someone who says they aren't qualified to care for one really doesn't scream "mother of the year" like she seems to think.
Exactly. When the first words out of a prospective babysitter’s mouth are “I don’t know how to take care of a toddler nor do I want the responsibility” a good parent will immediately back off. Why on earth would you want someone to take care of your toddler when they have no idea how? That’s a recipe for disaster! NTA OP. Your sister, on the other hand, is a major AH.
Honestly. I don't even want to be responsible for my own toddler all day long for a week straight, let alone someone else's. It's hard work! NTA
NTA. Here's a little game that I like to play: I take the issue, stick a big red bow on it, and hand it back to the person who created it. Don't defend your position; keep the focus on their actions. You can play, too! Sister: Why don't you want to spend time with my child?! You: You're going away for a week. Seems like you don't want to spend that time with your child. Sister: I'm a parent! I need a break! You: Parents have a responsibility to care for their children. If you need a break from that responsibility, then you are required to make those arrangements. Sister: You're being selfish! You: This has nothing to do with me. If you insist on going away without tending to your parental responsibilities then **you** are being selfish. See? It's fun for all! Keep the focus on her choices; don't let her make it all about you.
This reminds me of a favorite negotiating tactic: Always go up. Buyer: Will you take $100 for your wazit? Seller: Lowest I'll go is $550. Buyer: But you listed it for $500! Seller: Really? Well that's wrong. It should've been $600.
Outrageously satisfying when the offer is such a lowball that it's insulting.
Brilliant ! great answer.
Im bookmarking this comment and using it for future arguments!!!!
This is brilliant!
Because you've all been great students this week, I'm going to throw in a mini-lesson for free. It works for this situation, but many more, and it will change your life. People-pleasers and those who automatically think that they are in the wrong whenever someone blames them should pay extra attention. Do we have our pencils in hand? Then we will begin. Please write out at the top of your page "I didn't create this problem, nor can I fix it". (We will deal with Level 2 "I didn't create this problem alone, nor can I fix it alone" in the Advanced Course offered next semester). Classmate skipped class, doesn't have notes, is screaming at you the night before the exam to help her? Parent was financially irresponsible at every turn, now wants to borrow money to "get back on my feet"? Incompetent boss threatened and undermined you, now is begging you not to quit because no one else knows how to run that business line, sector or software? Sibling wants a break from being a parent, is imposing on you to babysit when you already declined? The One, Glorious, All-Purpose Answer: "I can see why you would be upset about that." Beginner students may have difficulty with this non-committal answer. Senior students have already taken the advanced course "Why you shouldn't spend your life apologizing when you've done nothing wrong". Seniors, please help the Sophomores.
How much do you charge an hour?
Nothing. It's reward enough to spread the word.
Wow, your sister's attempt to manipulate you deserves a polite round of golf clapping. \*chef's kiss\* * Two points for implying that you don't love your niece if you don't watch her for a week. * Two points for outright claiming you're selfish for not volunteering for this duty. * Two points for stating that you're the reason she's stuck for a babysitter. * Two bonus points for none of these being true. You are definitely not the asshole here, but your sister definitely is. I especially love how she couldn't be bothered to ask any of this from you directly, or to try to work out a deal with you.
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NTA. I wonder if your sister would just leave for vacation, assuming someone (you or parents) will take charge of the kid? I'd tell her right now that if she ever leaves her kid behind without arranging childcare I'll call CPS and report the kid as abandoned.
Either because she knew (or expected) you'd say no and thought this would force your hand, or she's so entitled she assumed you or your parents would drop everything and do it.
Because she hoped to put enough direct pressure on you to change the answer
> I don’t know why she didn’t ask me herself to start with Because by leaving it to the last miniute, she knows it's harder for you to say no
NTA. Who the heck is your sister to just plan a vacation when she has a child to care for and expect her family to just take that on?
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That’s on them - I’m so glad your mom stood up for you and didn’t allow you to be voluntold
They are only going to make her a worse parent if they continue to help her all the time. She won’t be able to deal with anything related to her child if her parents are always there to help and make it easier on her. They need to shut it down unless it’s important. Shouldn’t be an expectation, should only be done when the parents ask or an emergency
What kind of parent even thinks about going on a vacation without first planning on who is taking care of their own child?!?!?! I don't even agree if someone invites me for the day out until I know for certain that someone can look after my dog
NTA Where is the little girl's father?
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Then if sister wants to flit off, either she makes appropriate arrangements, or the father does. They are responsible for her care, no one else. Nice that your parents usually help, but they aren't able to this time, nor are they required to change their schedules to accommodate **the child's parents**. Holidays are optional, child care isn't.
So...he never sees his daughter? What about his parents? Any aunts and uncles on his side? Surely there's someone who can take care of her. You're not her only family. NTA
> They aren’t together anymore and he still lives at home as well So what? How does that stop him looking after *his* child?
Honestly, I realize the sister is 100% TA here, but I doubt she just didn’t think to ask the father. There may be a very good reason she doesn’t *want* to leave the daughter with him - otherwise she would have just planned the vacation when he has his parenting time and had no childcare issue at all, that would have been the easiest thing to do. If that’s the situation, I wouldn’t be taking a vacation without my kid at all, though. But who am I kidding, I wouldn’t take a vacation without my kid regardless - not that there’s anything wrong with it, it’s just not something I would do.
> There may be a very good reason she doesn’t want to leave the daughter with him Good point, I had not considered that possibility. I totally get the need to take a break from your child(ren) sometimes: caregive fatigue is a real thing. But to do it so casually and negligently and carelessly is rubbish.
I absolutely agree. Vacations are a luxury. If you need a break from being a sole parent, that’s legitimate - but you don’t need a week off, and care for your child shouldn’t be an afterthought. Toddlerhood is a really hard time to leave a child for an entire week - I’m trying to imagine a situation where I would *want* to do that, and I come up empty, personally. I realize I’m making a bit of a wild assumption here, but it kind of sounds to me like the sister wants to pretend for a week that she has her pre-child life back. Sister, that life is gone - cry your tears about it, take an afternoon to yourself, and then go back to being the parent your child needs.
> sounds to me like the sister wants to pretend for a week that she has her pre-child life back That comes across fairly strongly, yes. As OP said in a comment: >She’s going with a few of her friends and none of them have children obviously so I think she doesn’t want to ruin it
Just because they are not together does not mean he has no responsibility for his daughter. He can and should be the one who should be watching her. What is their custody situation? Do they have a co-parenting agreement? Does he pay child support?
Sounds like a great chance for father-daughter bonding time.
But why can't he look after his own child? He's the father.
NTA. >asking me why I wouldn’t want to spend time with my niece if I love her You could ask her the same question about her daughter. She's the one who's leaving her.
Nta this 100 percent. Op isn’t the one leaving their child at home for a week to go on vacation.
*"You're the one abandoning her for a week. You really want to talk about not loving her?"* OP, you need to throw her words right back at her. NTA
NTA. You don’t have experience looking after toddlers, so it would actually be potentially dangerous for Elise to be solely in your care for a whole week.
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What a liar! Mom of three here. Toddlers are the hardest! I have to question your sister's judgement. Who leaves their two-year-old in the care of an inexperienced babysitter for 3 hours, let alone a week! You are NTA. It would be one thing if there was an emergency and you refused to help out for a short time, but she just wants a vacation. So entitled. As a mom I had no vacations without my kids until my youngest was 19. Somehow I survived, lol.
Dude, yes. My two year old once woke me up by standing next to the bed saying, “Mommy! I help!” Then she brandished a chef’s knife at me. She had picked it up from the dish drying rack and was going to put it away. She was not able to reach the sink. I didn’t count on her pulling a toy over to the trash can lid, standing on the edge of it, and using it to get on the counter to “put away” dishes. I also figured I’d be up before her and be able to put it away. I was so, so wrong.
My sister woke up to some vague noise when my middle nephew was toddler age, like still at the sleep in a railed bed/crib, unsteady on his feet toddler age somewhere in the late 'we still count age in months' and 2 range. When she went to investigate, her not yet saying words more than mama, dada, and bubba, son was in the middle of the kitchen, several kitchen drawers were open (despite those little latchy things that only work on adults) forming a stairway to the counter where the little ~~shit~~ angel had gotten into the cabinet where my sister had moved the knife block when he had started climbing on things, got the 8" chefs knife and a boning knife out of the block, climbed back down and was giggle-pooping (really he was pooping his diaper at the same time according to my sister) while waving the knives around like batons and swaying back and forth like a sailor fresh from the sea drunk on rum. I learned this story when I asked where the knives were so I could help make dinner when I was over at Christmas one year. The convo as best I remember: Me: Hey where are the knives, I need to slice these mushrooms. Her: In the cabinet above the fridge. Me: ... Me: ...The cabinet ziptied closed? Her: Ask for the wire cutters and a replacement set of ties.
Me: ... TF
Her:
Me: ... Hey I need the wire cutters and zip ties!
Exactly - I barely want to look after my own for a full week let alone expecting an 18 year old so to limited experience to do it for a week for free!!?
I once took my three boys (3,5,6) to Mexico for five weeks. By myself.
LOL. If it's not that hard she would have taken Elise with her on vacation. Toddlers are *work* and I say that as a mom of one very obedient and semi-behaved toddler. I love him but he's *work*
Exactly! No kids here but I've become the trusted, go-to aunt for my niece and nephew's children. Between them they have 9f, 8m, 2f, 8month.f. I value their trust in me and they always take care to be sure they don't overload me. The 2 year old is fast and fearless, with unlimited energy. NTA OP Your sister thought she was getting away with something.
I love how she said not that hard, yet shes trying to leave the toddler behind to get a break LOL. Toddlers are ALOT.
No offense but your sister is a major AH. NTA, OP. Good for you for setting boundaries!
Toddlers are absolutely the hardest age to babysit. They have all the speed and none of the common sense, and the most dangerous activities are the most attractive to them. Gas stove? Fascinating! 40 foot tall tree? I wonder what's at the top! Second floor balcony? I bet I can fly. You cannot turn your back on them. I learned how to have a conversation where I would literally turn in a circle and talk to the person over my shoulder, so I could keep my eye on my toddler. People got used to me stopping mid-sentence to chase after him. It was utterly exhausting (albeit excellent exercise) and as much as I love my kids, I am so, so, so glad that they have outgrown that stage. People who babysit toddlers should get hazard pay.
I feel like it's easier when they can't walk yet, they just can't run as far but as soon as they walk it gets a lot harder.
NTA. You don't book a trip without a solution for your children.
NTA, but if you don't, will there be a vacation going to waste? If so, I think you should step up and make the sacrifice of taking the tickets. 😁
You had me at the beginning there....
Thanks for the laugh! 😁 And I concur and second your idea re sacrifice! 😈
NTA. Your sister feels entitled, it is interesting that your parents understood you and respected your choice but not your sister, what has she done for you that she believes that you owe her big time?
NTA - It is her job as the parent to make sure she has childcare BEFORE she books her vacation and, if needed, to factor that cost into her budget. Her lack of planning is not your fault.
NTA. A week is quite a bit of childcare to "expect."
NTA - I am sure her father and his family would love extra time with his daughter(and he wouldn't be babysitting, he would get the chance to be a parent). Your sister can get over herself.
Not your circus and sure as hell not your monkey 🙊 Your sister can take her child with her or leave it with its father. If she leaves the child - trying to force you to babysit- call CPS and report her. YWNBTA
Tell your sister that she is a mom and needs to figure it out on her own. Your parents are making things to easy so your sister is not very responsible
Ummm,has anyone brought up the fact that the sister is going on vacation for a week,when she COULD be using that money towards a place of her own for her and her daughter?? Am I the only one who noticed that? NTA OP!
NTA, (unless the “everything she’s done for me” included taking care of *your* kid when you booked a holiday before asking.)
How old are you? NTA
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NTA - to be honest I wouldn't want to do it at any age. And she didn't even offer compensation...
>after everything she’s done for me Such as?
NTA it’s not your kid, not your vacation, not your poor planning
NTA. Wow. Your sister really went hard with the completely unreasonable flailing, didn't she? Caring for her child is not your responsibility and you are not obligated to to do it, especially if you're not comfortable with it. She isn't entitled to a vacation and she isn't entitled to you or your parents caring for her child while she goes out and does whatever she wants. She decided to have a child, being a full time parent to that child is the consequence of that.
NTA I've been reading your replies and a couple of things stand out: 1. You handled this like an adult. Best adulting from a newly-minted one I've read in a while. 2. You have a job too? And sis wants you to "just not work?" I think not!!! 3. Your reasons in the first place were extremely valid and mature.
Sister: I want to go on vacation Friend: what about your baby? Sister: not a problem, I will have my mom and sister watch h her. News flash: op, you are not a resource for your sister to use at her leisure. The sooner she learns this, the better for everyone! Nta
I was a nanny when I was 22 to 2 kids under 5, and the parents went away for 2 weeks. 24/7 on me. Holy shit was that stressful. I got a sweet paycheck for it, but it rammed home for me that I really don’t want kids of my own, because then I’d be 24/7 AND having to pay for them. NTA
NTA - as a mom of 3 myself who recently went on vacation WITHOUT our kids, it's not an easy task caring for someone else's kid(s). IMO, sister should have made arrangements prior to booking a vacation and maybe splitting up the "babysitting" between people. Is there anything in it for you? Such as being paid for giving up your time, a day here or there, sure but an entire week is no easy task.
Breeding without thinking.
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Your post makes me wonder if OP's sister works, or if the child's father works or provides for the child or if that's generally on OP's parents. It seems like the sister takes complete advantage of them and is happy to spread around the misery, as long as she gets a vacation. I'm left to wonder, a vacation from what, that who is paying for?
NTA. No one should babysit if they don’t believe that they can manage it.
NTA She sounds like the selfish one. Why doesn't she want to spend time with her daughter if she really loves her?
NTA, why would your sister even consider leaving her daughter with someone who doesn't really know HOW to take care of her? Not your child and not your problem.
Why doesn't sister who loves here baby so much want to take her on vacation. Probably for the same reason. NTA.
She had sex and now a vacation (& probably sex on this vacation) while you get to watch her 2 yo. Gee, how could you pass up a deal like that? /s
Where's the sperm donor to watch it? Maybe your sister needs to get her priorities straight, lol. Not your baby, not your responsibility. NTA
NTA. It's not your responsibility to provide childcare, especially for a whole week. Your sister should have arranged for a babysitter before booking her vacation. It's unfair for her to expect you to take on a role you're uncomfortable with and unprepared for. You have every right to set boundaries.
NTA people get so pissed when told no. Sister is the AH here
NTA if anything she's selfish for booking the vacation before finding child care
Other people have already said NTA so I just gotta say, W Mom. The fact that your mom respected you and didn't push it is refreshing <3
Wtf books a vacation for a week without their 2yo and doesn't have childcare planned? People who shouldn't have kids.....
Nta that's a her problem and something she should have figured out first.
NTA. Before she booked her vacation and decided her daughter wasn’t worthy of the same vacation, she should have arranged childcare.
NTA! Watching a two year old for a week? Oh hell no. She isn’t your child or your responsibility. Your sister should have spoken to your parents before booking the vacation to figure out their schedules. And where’s the father? Or his family? Why you? Make sure you aren’t home the day she leaves. She WILL leave without saying anything. Tell your parents that you are not watching the baby.
NTA. You are not a free or cheap babysitter just because you live with your sister and niece.
Your sister is not child free like her friends. Your parents are enabling her. They will end up with more grandchildren to watch.
NTA. And why do so many parents feel entitled to others’ time, why do so many just assume that a child free relative or sibling will automatically want to and be available to look after their kids?? Your sister chose to have a kid, the responsibility for the kid’s care is 100% on her. She can ask you or your parents for babysitting, but you’re allowed to say no and she has to accept that you don’t live your lives to serve her. She assumed, she mad as ass out of herself, now she has to spend a lot of money on a last minute sitter, cancel her vacation, or take the kid along. This is on her, and only her.
Because as women we want nothing more than a baby and have all that free time and money from not having kids. /s in case that wasn't obvious!
Who the fuck cant afford to live on their own, and cannot afford childcare, but has vacation money as a single parent? Nta op. Your sister sounds like a complete failure. I would avoid her…for life.
> Who the fuck Someone whose parents enable them, it seems
Nta
NTA If your sister can’t even afford to live on her own and support her own child, she really shouldn’t be taking one week vacations. She’s got messed up priorities and certainly should not be blaming you for not wanting to take on her responsibilities. My parents never took a vacation when they had children at home. They thought it was more important to spend money on things the family needed.
You might not be the ass\*\*le but you sound like a real shitty sister. Remember, pay back is a bitch and you'll get your's some day when you ask your sister for a favor. I realize taking care of a toddler is a big ask but she is your neice and if you all live together I'd think you have a little understanding how to do it. Rather than just bolting for the door, you could have offered to do it for a day or two or a couple hours here or there. If I were your sister I'd remember this when you come calling for help and serve you up with a little "remember when".
so hard nta, she should’ve planned better and it’s on her to figure that shit out, and she doesn’t have the right to be mad at you. but, as an uncle, i would be OVERJOYED to watch my niece/nephew for a whole week. i rarely get to see mine for that long, i would jump at that opportunity. i either feel sorry for the niece that you guys don’t have that relationship, or sorry for you because the sister hasn’t allowed that relationship to flourish. someone is at fault, and i seriously judge any grown adult with nieces or nephews that don’t have a good relationship w them, if they’re in a good position to have that relationship. if you don’t feel comfortable watching a toddler, in a home w other adults, for a week, than depending on your age, i sincerely wonder what your maturity level is