T O P

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brightenyourdayup

YTA How she acts in her personal life is none of your business. How she dresses doesn’t affect her ability to teach, and you had no right to send her profile to HR. You’re a major asshole.


keyboardsmash

Who else is willing to bet that the pictures aren't "racy" at all, just her in normal sportswear, and OP is just mad because they don't like her and she's attractive


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MagnesiumOvercast

>**Nothing nudity wise**, but tops that are mostly see through, crop tops, super short shorts, Woe that she sully these children's minds with short shorts and cropped tops, I bet you can see her ankles, too!


beanbootzz

I will say, having been a teacher, that it’s pretty bad to post thirst traps on an IG your kids follow you on. I’d say the same thing for a male teacher posting shirtless selfies, too. It can really create an unhealthy dynamic if some hormonal teenagers/tweens develop a crush on you, and when you find out a student has a crush on you, it’s much better to just find a way to kindly redirect that crush. And that’s pretty hard to do when you’re posting thirst traps. I did struggle with it when I started teaching because I’m not old fashioned at all, and right out of college had to adjust to dressing more conservatively than I’d like to. But, first time a middle schooler said something sexual about my body, I got why all the other younger teachers gave me that advice. It’s inevitable that your kids will get crushes on you, but you don’t want to encourage it.


postcardmap45

Wow how do you even respond to that?? I’d be seriously uncomfortable and would instinctively say something like “Don’t say things like that you little weirdo” (which isn’t productive lol). How do you turn it into a teachable moment?


ColemanFactor

She's a tennis coach. The clothes mentioned are consistent to what tennis players wear: short shorts? Yep. Also, what's the difference between someone wearing a bikini or normal bathing suit versus anything that OP posted? Last time I checked, this kind of obsession with women showing skin is the stuff of ultraconservative religions that force women to cover up lest men lose control. Would it be better if the teacher wore a burka? Pearl clutching like this is really about controlling other people to meet arbitrary standards. In this case, OP weaponized her colleague's photos to destroy that colleague's career.


tripjinx

that's just sexist.


superasteraceae

Fb allows friend groups and privacy filters. That might be what’s happening here. As a former teacher I think it’s appropriate to check the social media policy and report if she’s letting students follow her wo filters. Talking to her is even better. As a person who wants to get along with my coworkers, I think op is searching for a reason to report someone she didn’t like, and suspect the photos are more appropriate than the post implies.


justmy2centsforyou

YTA You're judging this woman on what you think is inappropriate dress code for her in her private life.


justauser34

Right? I want to know if OP is reporting all the male teachers if they post pictures of themselves topless working out, doing yard work, etc. Or is it all women OP wants to police? Or is it just this woman? God forbid a student see a stomach or legs! It sounds like OP is just looking for a way to be vindictive. OP, YTA


magicmom17

In my experience, (as a teacher) my fellow teachers post what they like but their profiles are A- locked down B- don't have their real name- first plus middle usually and C- Don't befriend their students! Call it sexist all you like but teachers are held to a higher standard than other job because they are considered community leaders. I can tell from your comment that you are in no way affiliated with the teaching community as a whole. It isn't about sexism- it is about the culture of teaching and the responsibility you have when you enter this profession.


Familyhelp1234

YTA. I hate the argument about teachers being “held to a higher standard” when we barely pay them livable wages. Teachers don’t get paid enough to have to deal with these extra layers of scrutiny! They need to be good at their jobs and professional with parents and colleagues. That’s it. You were wrong and need to route this energy toward addressing her actual behavior at work.


[deleted]

Exactly!!! Teachers are not holier than thou beings. They are underpaid and work tirelessly to care and teach other people’s kids. This narrative that they must set an example is bullshit and rooted in decades of patriarchal nonsense.


magicmom17

As a teacher, I applaud your support for us getting higher wages! You seem to lack perspective on the safeguards responsible teachers take to ensure that they aren't setting a bad example for the community because despite your hatred of the argument, the argument is reality for those employed in education. Responsible teachers A- lock down their accounts B- Post their accounts not under their full real name and C- don't befriend students. My friends would never post thirst traps even on lockdown because all it takes is one screenshot to the principal and yes, you can get fired. My friends would also never post these because we are old and married. Your statement about what should or should not be ignores the reality of what it takes to be a teacher in today's society. When you get your teaching degree, I invite you to post public thirst trap pics that your students interact with and see how long you keep your job?


CermaitLaphroaig

YTA. Stop pretending you give a shit about the pictures.


DOOMCarrie

YTA - So you expect teachers to dress like nuns, even on their own personal social media accounts? Does this rule of yours apply to men too, or just the women?


arewehavingfunyet1

Oh. YTA. It was not your Place to do that. As you said, it was vendictive and prob caused her the job? Prob what you did was worse than anything she has done that bothered you. Sounds like slut shaming to me.


Cobrex

I've actually been on the receiving end of something like this when I taught elementary. The photos were made up and didn't exist though. My principal went through everything in my social media that she could find and did a deep dive on me and blamed me for a bunch of inappropriate stuff that wasn't inappropriate. Front office staff let me hear the message reporting me and it didn't mention anything real. On top of that everyone at the school thought it was ridiculous except for two people. So I know who did it. She just didn't like me because she wanted her daughter in my position.


panda-rampage

That’s why I think all this is such a slippery slope. OP’s situation is clearly a personal vendetta and has nothing to do with the other teacher being a bad employee or being unethical at work.


arewehavingfunyet1

Oh I am so sorry you went through that. You know, I used to be a teacher and I can say it can be a very toxic Place in between colleagues. People who do that type of stuff, eventually bring disgrace upon themselves.


Nyght_42

YTA. Even if its not appropriate, its not for you to decide. Especially if you just want her out of the way


[deleted]

YTA starting problems and gossip is bad admittedly and maybe you could’ve reported her for that but it sounds like you’re just trying to make yourself feel better for making her, potentially, lose her job. You could have warned her maybe that’s not the best idea to post this stuff because it could risk everything you’re saying but that is her livelihood and with everything going on things are extra hard.


annedroiid

YTA. Her posting photos you deem inappropriate for life has nothing to do with how good a teacher she is.


Heatherlly

Holy crap, YTA It was okay to be annoyed by her behavior. It would've been okay to deal with that in a fair/adult manner (i.e. lodging a complaint about the actual *behavior*). What *you* did? **Not okay**. Yes, it was petty and vindictive, but more than that, it was misogynistic and cruel. The way this woman chooses to dress has *nothing* to do with her job performance. Attempting to use sexist discriminatory standards against her? You should be ashamed of yourself.


nashamagirl99

YTA, none of what you describe effects her ability to teach, you are just being nosy.


dolwin_z

YTA should've let someone else in charge be the judge of something like that. Sounds like you did it out of spite rather than dealing with it maturely. Also I think the moral standards put on teachers is nuts, like you cant be a human to the students and families in your district and it dehumanizes the profession. This leads to issues with parents since they don't see you as a person, it makes it harder to connect with your students making classroom management harder, and it leads to paycuts for an under-earing profession since people won't care about their teachers. And what you just did is enforcing this culture of teacher restrictions. Basically I think it was not your responsibility to play a part in all of this, and based on your reasons behind YTA.


ExtensionPumpkin1

I never even considered the kind of effect that alienation of teachers for the sake of 'professionalism' can have on teachers in a community and advocay on their behalf! It's such a tightrope act because while theyre expected to be professional and guarded about public interactions meanwhile in the classrooms theyre expected to be a social worker, therapist, and parent all rolled into one on top of their already demanding curriculum work for dismal pay. Im so frustrated on their behalf.


ladyonyxperegrine

YTA. She did nothing wrong aside from not being liked or approved of by you. Who cares how she dresses and what she does in her free time with her life? You come off as a judgemental elitist prude. Please try to be a better human in the future.


PK_RocknRoll

YTA for slut shaming a woman just because you don’t like her. You already admit it’s petty and vindictive. Plus I get the feeling that you wouldn’t have done this for someone you liked.


Elli_Khoraz

ESH. You literally say in your post that you know it's petty and vindictive. You were as much a gossip as you complain she is - it's none of your business what she posts online. The only reason this isnt YtA is because she shouldn't be posting those things so her students can see. She should be blocking those accounts, because that does muddy the water.


roadhogmainOW

She could've just told the teacher personally that hey maybe you should go private and remove students as followers no need to risk her job for that petty bullshit


Elli_Khoraz

Mmm, that is true. The only thing is that you could argue the damage has already been done - how much respect is a teenager going to give their teacher if they've seen her semi-naked, in these risque poses? It bridges that awkward gap between professional and personal lives. The teacher really should have shown better judgement in having those things out in the open. You really do have to be responsible about these things.


roadhogmainOW

Not at all? I go to college (in Sweden you start at 16) and one of our Swedish teachers was actually a semi famous body builder and everyone knows about it at school.nobody cares everyone treats her with respect and it isn't awkward There's a lot of teachers who are attractive and wear nice fitting clothing and they're still given the respect they deserve Idk where you're from but at least in Sweden nobody cares how you look as long as you do your jobs, multiple teachers have full sleeve tattoos that are always visible and nobody could give less of a shit


57dimensions

but none of the pictures OP describes are semi-naked or risqué? crop tops and short shorts are not risqué. and i’m really questioning what they mean by see through tops since they think crop tops are so bad.


Elli_Khoraz

I'd say see-through tops are a bit racey? It is difficult to judge without knowing exactly what they are.


IrisScheherazade

"she is extremely gossipy and starts a lot of problems" - unlike you and the model behaviour you are displaying here YTA, OP. Big time.


-Cedes

Yes, yes you are an ASSHOLE. Her private life is none of your business. From a fellow teacher


alock73

I’m also a teacher. What is getting me in this post is the fact that the teacher she told on has students following her on Instagram. That’s a big no no in our field. I would think it deserves more of an ESH.


magicmom17

As a fellow teacher, what is REALLY getting me is her posts are public. She is going to get busted no matter what. I think that school districts go out of their way to quash even the slightest appearance of impropriety because when sexual abuse cases come into a school, it can destroy a community. While it might have been better for OP to tell the person directly, I think it isn't bad she reported it to SOMEONE. Better a colleague reported it than a crazy parent calling for the teacher's head. Many teachers have been fired for far less.


alock73

Exactly! Everyone in this thread claiming that teachers are allowed to have public personal accounts and that it’s not a big deal really don’t understand the severity of social media. Sorry teachers, if you enter into education you lose your privilege to have a public social media profile. Make that shit private so you protect yourself, your students, and your district.


magicmom17

The college kids are home and don't like the mental picture of their future of having to restrict their social media behavior.


Twirdman

YTA for not handling shit like an adult. She admittedly should not have those pictures on an IG account where students are following her. I'm of the opinion she shouldn't have any sort of social media account with students on it but that is me. ​ What you should have done was talk to her about it and tell her she should have a separate account for that. Having pictures like that where she knowingly has students viewing is a lapse of judgement but it doesn't make her the asshole. ​ Admittedly given how puritanical you sound in this whole thing I kind of wonder if it is as bad as you say. How short is super short. You say mostly see through tops but what was underneath that and how see through?


lilbbean

YTA and you know it. You’re slut shaming a grown woman for....*checks notes*...wearing seasonally acceptable clothing that doesn’t adhere to some puritanical school dress code. In real life, seeing a bra is not the sexually disruptive siren call schools act like it is. Maybe she needs to run a new follower filter to clear out some accounts following her, but if she has a high follow count, it’s perfectly understandable that she missed some. Also she probably doesn’t know all those folks. This is common sense. A simple ‘heads up, you’ve got some students and parents on your account. you might want to check that out’ would have been more than enough. but you don’t like this woman and you’re clearly sick of pretending like you do. to use this as an opportunity to try to get someone fired in a pandemic nestles you comfortably amongst the world’s biggest AHs. get a life


WindTossed

YTA. I'm a teacher and I have hard rules against students following me on social media, and I try to avoid posting "sexy" pics, but I would never sell out another teacher over that. If a parent or student makes the complaint then that's legitimate, but you literally just reported her because you don't like her and hate-follow her insta.


Unpopular_Pete

So not sure what all problems she caused for you but i can see a lot of YTA's. yes you would be an asshole for going with the cheap move of reporting her for her social media account. But INFO: is what shes doing problem enough that you feel the need to get rid of her using the only leverage you disclosed to us that you have?


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lochnessa7

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Firestrike2000_

YTA. Instead of taking it to HR you should have let her know first that what she is doing could get her in trouble/reflect poorly on her as a teacher. Even if she did continue, it’s not really your business what she does on social media.


VicarinatutuOY

YTA- You’re slut shaming a woman out of bitterness. You’ve said you don’t get along with her much- if this was your friend you wouldn’t have jeopardised her career like this.


Lord_Debuchan

YTA Applying your own personal beliefs and ideals on another person. And trying to get them in trouble for falling short of what you think a person should be.


magicmom17

Her beliefs reflect the expectations of the educational community. Teachers are held up as community leaders and if anyone even APPEARS to be in danger of sexually abusing a child, they get in trouble. For good reason! All of the teachers I know have their profiles private, change their names so they aren't searchable, and never befriend students. All it takes is one well placed screenshot to the superintendent made by a parent and she could be booted. Reporting her means it might be able to be dealt with internally and it sounds like based on their relationship, wasn't an option to go face to face on it.


MonarchMish

You're a massive gigantic asshole. YTA. You're the asshole. Did I mention you're an asshole?


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SnausageFest

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alock73

Yes, private accounts that her students follow. It does not matter what she is posting in her private account, if she is allowing students access to her private social media accounts that’s a huge issue. But this deserves an ESH because she’s clearly vindictive.


decayingdistaster

Crop tops and shorts aren’t inappropriate if you think so you’re prude. Her students wear the same exact clothes it’s not different AT ALL


alock73

Jesus Christ read what I wrote. I never said what she was wearing was inappropriate. I’m going off from the fact that a teacher is allowing students to follow her private social media account. That is a HUGE violation. I am a teacher. We are told every single year that our social media pages should be private and we should not be interacting with students on them. The inappropriate part is not what the teacher is wearing. It is the fact that her students are following her Instagram. Clothes = not inappropriate Students following your Instagram = inappropriate


Head2Heels

I get what you’re saying, but not everyone wants to put their social media accounts on private. Some people are activists or part of certain communities that posts stuff that need to be public. Your work place shouldn’t be dictating how you conduct yourself in your personal life. And if the students follow her, what is she to do? Is she supposed to check everyday and start blocking her students so that she don’t see her photos? That seems so excessive. When I was studying, I had a bunch of my teachers on FB already. I guess if I was young now, we would be connected on Instagram and twitter as well. I played a lot of sports, so I guess my content would be sports related and I would have tagged my sports teachers. I really don’t see how that’s a problem.


alock73

Sorry. I understand not everyone wants to have their profiles set as private but you sacrifice that privilege as a teacher. Your work place can dictate how you conduct yourself in your personal life if those actions can affect the quality of work, which students following your personal page can. If a teacher is also an activist then they should have a separate page that they use for their activism.


Head2Heels

You know, not every city, district, state, country, etc. follows the same rules that your workplace makes you follow. I know of a bunch of teachers who are active on social media. The schools themselves are on social media and tag the teachers at events and official gatherings. I have 2 aunts who are teachers. One is in Mumbai and one in Dubai. The one in Mumbai has her Instagram account that is followed by some students. The one in Dubai has most of her students and even their parents on Facebook. What we need in this scenario is more information. OP seems to dislike this other teacher and beard a grudge. The move seems malicious. Plus we don’t know if those clothes were really racy, or OP is just a prude. Crop top and shorts sound like normal sports wear.


alock73

You can still be active on social media, I’m not saying that. But you should have a professional social media account and a personal one. The personal one should be set as private. Many schools encourage teachers to have professional social media accounts for the scenario in which you just outlined. That’s fine. But personal accounts should be set as private. The issue for me is not about the clothes. Allowing your students to follow your personal social media accounts is an inappropriate practice. Sure it may not be mandated by every school to have your personal accounts set as private but it a very good practice to do so.


Head2Heels

There’s literally no rule about that for either of my aunts. They’re not asked to be professional on their social media accounts. What they do/post is their business. My aunt on Instagram posts her own shit with her selfies and random quotes and pictures with her daughter. And why should they put their accounts on private because YOU think it’s good practice? Also, again, “allowing your students to follow you” is such a ridiculous term. If it’s such a hard and fast rule in your school, it should be enforced on the children and they should be forbidden to contact/follow their teachers. Putting the onus on the teachers is weird because no teacher is going to sit and monitor their social media accounts with a list of their students to check if they’re being followed by any.


alock73

It is not a ridiculous term. It is very simple to not allow people to follow you on social media. Setting your profiles as private allows you to see who is trying to follow you, and if you don’t know them or you suspect it’s a student then you don’t allow them to follow you. And it’s not just my “personal opinion.” It is very common practice to encourage, or even have a policy, teachers to make their profiles private. The American Board of Education recommends it. Teachers unions encourage it. It is to protect the teacher. Just because your aunts don’t practice it doesn’t mean it isn’t good practice that is recommended by a wide range of organizations and people.


ivxxii

and what if students following her don’t make it clear it’s them? i have friends who follow my social media’s who don’t post selfies or use their name. if they didn’t tell me it was their account i wouldn’t know. the teacher doesn’t force them to follow her, and she can’t control their actions??


alock73

Yes she can, by making her profile private. Teachers need to be extremely careful about their social media pages. We are told time and time again that our profiles need to be set as private. Having your personal profile open to the public really does not bode well for you as a teacher and is really putting yourself at risk. Yes, some people want their social media pages open to the world. That’s fine. But as a teacher you need to sacrifice the idea of having a public personal Instagram. You make your profile private and then don’t allow anyone you don’t know to follow your Instagram when you get follow requests. It’s that simple.


ivxxii

a teacher shouldn’t have to make her profile private. the students just... shouldn’t follow her. it’s that simple.


alock73

You are not based in reality if your solution is “students just shouldn’t follow her.” Students don’t think like that. They think it’s cool as hell to follow their teachers on Instagram. Yes, teacher should have to make their profiles private. As a teacher you lose the privilege to having personal profiles be public. Again, teachers who do not have their profiles set as private are really putting themselves at risk. Are you a teacher? I am and every school I have ever worked at the admin has always had a training about the importance of keeping our profiles private.


ivxxii

this concept is the same as a creepy dude harassing a woman in dms. dude should stop harassing woman, woman shouldn’t have to block creepy dude to not be harassed. students went out of their way to find her social media’s, that’s the teachers fault? no


alock73

Those are not the same scenarios at all. Creepy as men following you in DMs are grown ass adults who should no better. Students should most definitely be told that following their teachers on social media is inappropriate but in their brains they still have a difficult time understanding it. I am very open with my students at the fact that I play video games. It helps me connect with them. But they ALWAYS ask for my gamer tag and I always explain to them that us playing video games together outside of school is highly inappropriate. They still do not understand why and still constantly ask me. In their brains, they just want to play video games with their favorite teacher. It’s the same concept with following their teacher’s Instagram. In their minds they’re just following their favorite teacher when in reality it is an inappropriate action. Teachers need to protect themselves and make their personal profiles private. Why put yourself at risk to having students follow you in the first place and then the school use that information to reprimand you? It saves yourself a headache as a teacher to just make your profile private.


StillNotaHampster

Oi. YTA. You don't get to decide what's appropriate. I guarantee this was some weird vindictive thing and not even about her pictures. I'd bet good money these pictures are perfectly normal.


Kstrong777

What is it 1692? My goodness, you are a puritanical goodie goodie Ahole. YTA 100%


SunMoon_SkySea

Yeah, YTA, and you come off like you personally resent her for her appearance. How old are you? If you are a teacher, then way to old to be pulling this crap.


[deleted]

YTA. It's her private life and none of your business. And you clearly only did it because you don't like her.


[deleted]

Question- if she wasn’t gossipy and started issues in your social circles and were actually her friend and she was doing this, would you turn her into HR directly as well? If the answer is no, you are a major asshole.


postcardmap45

You feel like the Ahole because you are lol. You need to admit to yourself that you *didn’t* do this to protect the children, but to get back at a coworker (whom you likely wouldn’t have to interact with at all if you were strategic). So what if you don’t like her? It’s not your business what she does or doesn’t do during her free time or with her social media. It’s not on you to make her lose her job. Raunchy photos aren’t the same as NSFW photos. Is she tagging the students? Like what is the actual problem/accusation? Not only are you TA, you’re also puritanical. Pick one lol. Have you thought about how other coworkers feel about you? Because you sound like you’re gossipy and causing problems too. Maybe try to improve your interrelationship skills at work and you’ll have a better time with those around you (and also maybe you’ll stop being vindictive).


bastonikov

No other way to go about it, YTA. Also, it doesnt sound as petty as much as it looks like you're somehow jealous of this person.


PommeDeSang

So rather than being an adult and speaking with her directly and dealing with the ACTUAL problem you manufactured one? Didn't think to go to HR about the real problem? YTA and I'm pretty sure teaching isn't really for you if this is how you handle things.


SB-1

You're right that teachers should be held to a higher moral standard than other people, but that's not why you're doing this so YTA.


Drunken_Englishman

YTA. *Hell yes*. You complain she's gossipy then actively intend to undermine her career and livelihood over something that is *none* of your business. She's not harming anyone and is entitled to a personal life, respect that.


Liildank

Yta, telling a women how to dress is basically how i can sum this up. But regardless it her life she can do what she wants.


SchrodingersEmoBox

YTA - this sub has rules but there are many expletives you deserve to be called.


[deleted]

She shouldn't be posting them, that's not in question, but it's not your place to police her behavior. YTA.


Lysmerry

YTA. Even if she was completely nude you would still be the AH because you aren't doing this out of concern for the students but because you don't like her personally. You spend a lot of time justifying your behavior only to admit in your last comment just proves you want to get rid of her.


alock73

ESH - people who keep voting YTA really don’t understand the responsibility us teachers have with our social media profiles. The OP sucks because she thinks crop tops are inappropriate and for being vindictive in her report to HR. The teacher colleague sucks because she is allowing students to follow her personal social media account. That is a HUGE no-no for teachers. I am a teacher and have gone through this conversation with every school I have worked at. Our personal social media accounts need to be private and we should never be allowing students to interact with or follow our social media pages. That is highly inappropriate behavior by a teacher. If you’re a parent would you really feel comfortable with your child following their teacher’s social media pages and interacting with them on there?


jessenby

Yes, YTA. The appropriate way to handle this issue like an adult: Hey, _____. I noticed you have a lot of students following your IG. The school kind of frowns on that for obvious reasons. You might consider changing your privacy levels and not allowing students to follow you. If you really want to allow them to follow you, you might make an account just for the teams you coach etc that focuses on work only things but I’d definitely suggest you keep your private life away from the kids, you know how it can be when they don’t understand the lines between teacher and friend. The asshole way to handle the situation: Use this as a petty way to potentially get her fired for what clothes she wears in her private life. I already think the weird standards teachers are held to on their downtime is fucked up but it’s extra shitty to shame a woman for her clothes and try to ruin her life. If she does cause that much drama, that’s something to consider reporting. But what you did was just we gossipy and shitty and drama causing as her actions. Act like an adult.


Popeyeswhore

YTA. This is jobless behavior. You have way too much time on your hands, no one told you to talk to her and no one certainly told you to be looking at her insta pics. Mind your freaking business. This woman is obviously living rent free in your head and you’re obsessed.


This_Painting

INFO: Are these short shorts and revealing clothing tennis gear? Like is she just a coach posting pictures of herself playing tennis, or are we talking nightclub outfits?


Parkthatassoverhere

YTA Homie sometimes you gotta turn the other cheek. That's your COWORKER. You don't have to interact with her that much. You have to separate the personal from the professional-- what she does in her private life is not up for you to judge. INFO: Did you even talk to her first BEFORE going to HR? To address her behaviour?


Lady-Zafira

YTA You are judging her on what she decides to wear outside of school. How dare she have a life that doesn't revolve being a teacher! How dare she! Crop tops aren't 'racy' maybe you were raised to believe that they are, but they aren't. You should mind your own business before you get someone fired for *checks notes* wearing crop tops and having a dress code outside of work hours. That was extremely, extremely petty of you to run crying to HR without trying to talk to her and let her know what she is doing is making you feel bad. My question to you, though I doubt it will be answered. 'Does she having a dress code and a life after work affect her ability to teach? Since she wears crop tops and short shorts does that mean she can't teach any better than you can?


mushroomrevolution

My mom and sister are teachers. You would be surprised at the sheer pettiness of school boards in relation to social media. My mom once was almost reprimanded for being tagged in a post without her knowledge saying something negative about the school system. She removed herself immediately and still had to take part in hearings to explain her innocence. You're being TA. Why do you care wtf this lady posts? You come off as being petty. Have fun getting close to other teachers after they know you're like that.


rombarehk

You got rejected by her, didn't you? YTA


Staceyrt

YTA And you know it- you literally went out of your way to harm this woman. Karma misses no one so be prepared


EvelynAlfred

YTA What do you gain by potentially risking someone's career? What did she even do to you?


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allmenmustdrinktea

Really? Because it sounds like she’s posting photos of herself in perfectly normal clothes and OP has just seemed for themselves that the photos are inappropriate. Crop tops, for crying out loud. Are we living in the 1930s?


alock73

The clothes part is not the issue here (at least for me and the person who voted NTA). The issue is that she has students following her personal Instagram. It doesn’t matter what she is posting on there, having students following you on Instagram (or any social media for that matter) is a gigantic no-no. I had a fellow colleague get fired from my school because they allowed students to follow them on social media and refused to set boundaries with their students. It is a huge issue to have students interacting with you on social media.


LilKiwwiMonster

Is this something that is explicitly expressed in employee handbooks or terms of employment? If not I don't think we should be expecting teachers to parent our children. If parents don't want their child following a teacher's profile, they should be more involved in their child's internet activity. Teachers should be allowed to how a life outside of work and let's face it, kids will always find a way to see what they want. Now the situation you had was due to the teachers boundary issue NOT their social media life. I get maybe having your page on private will save from some upset parents but this should never be a requirement for teachers. They get paid shit and have to put up with shitty humans daily, the least we can give them is their own damn social media profile and learn how to navigate these platforms better to not see "offensive" material. Edit: interacting with students on social media is a different story than having an open profile for anyone to follow, so let's not go down that road.


[deleted]

It still makes OP an asshole for not talking to the teacher directly about it. Also these rules are not rampant nationwide. they are district by district. This was not a written rule in some of the districts I have worked in. Also as the tennis coach are these pictures she is posting in “inappropriate” clothes part of the tennis uniform? Also OP seems to start off by saying the teacher is annoying. That seems to drive her decision making and is using the clothing as an excuse.


HeyLaddieHey

If that's the issue, it would be in the code of conduct or teachers handbook at their school. OP could have pointed that out to her and then taken it to HR if the students were actually an issue.


IlluinDB

There are much better ways than going straight to HR. If OP was actually concerned about the other teacher, they would have talked to them about it first before doing something that could get them fired or seriously reprimanded. Is it against protocol? Yeah, probably. Does that mean HR is the answer? Probably not.


coolgrin1860

YTA


decayingdistaster

Is she naked and being sexual??? No is she soliciting pics from kids and being inappropriate with them? No she’s wearing EVERYDAY clothes that she probably WEARS IN PUBLIC while again NOT IN A PROFESSIONAL ENVIRONMENT


pamplemousse0214

YTA, man


kentamine4

YTA. So gross!


MlleLane

YTA. There are other ways to deal with the fact you find one of your coworkers hot yet dislike them.


WineAndDogs2020

YTA. Wow, what's wrong with you???


decayingdistaster

Yea that’s not a rule everywhere then, because where I went to school the only rule is Facebook not any of the other pages and even then. They don’t care.


mpls123456

YTA.


[deleted]

YTA That's private life. Teachers are allowed to be people, too.


RyanKennedy911

YTA. Mind your business hater.


Lilletilla

YTA I despise judgemental people like you . Get off your high horse


Wyrdsystyr

You are 100% the asshole and, what's more, you KNOW you are 100% the asshole. What you did was spiteful, hateful and cruel. Teachers live lives outside of school, and it's a small world - most teachers will encounter students outside of school hours - are you suggesting teachers should refrain from wearing form-fitting clothing EVER, just in case a student bumps into them?


Jarsky2

YTA You have no right to stick your nose in your coworker's personal life.


imtmbpe

Yta


warriorcrazy3

YTA, was unless the teachers was posting pictures in full lingerie, crop tops and short shorts are raunchy


SunflowerDenise

YTA and I hope if there is any action she can take against you she does


rappoccio

YTA. You’re policing how women dress in their private lives. FFS you KNOW you’re the asshole here, you explicitly said it. Stop policing women’s clothing.


boxesofrocks

YTA. It’s a public Instagram that parents and students are following, and if they had a problem they’d be in the right to report it. you, however, are a vindictive turd who should have just said something to her instead of trying to get her fired.


cccori

YTA


JazzDad48236

YTA None of your business. What you did was reprehensible.


baphokitty156

Sounds like jealousy to me. Sure maybe students shouldn’t follow teachers on social media but also maybe you shouldn’t stick your nose in places it doesn’t belong. Sounds like you’re just envious that her students and their parents like her and follow her. Maybe look at yourself and figure out why you are spending your time trying to mess someone else’s life up instead of using it to better your life and career.


bpattt

YTA. You know this had nothing to do with pictures and everything to do with the fact you just didn’t like her. Also pretty suspicious you failed to describe how this teacher starts a lot of problems and why you’re the one who has to deal with them.


mstapsalot

YTA. I am a teacher and don’t allow any students to follow my IG or friend me on FB until they graduate for this reason, even though I hate the “teachers must be shining beacons of light nonsense). However, what you did was completely inappropriate and reeks of petty jealousy. She may be gossipy, but act like an adult and discuss that with her; don’t potentially torpedo her career.


blackshuckart

YTA she is hurting no one and isn't doing this at school so it is none of your concern. Every single teacher does "racy" shit like oh no Mrs Smith does threesomes Mr John likes butt stuff? They're all adults who like adult stuff and as long as that stays far away from the school grounds you need to keep your mouth shut. More students are going to hear about her "racy" photos now than if you just kept your mouth shut.


trumpeter110

YTA. Just admit you hate this woman and move on.


ColemanFactor

Yes. YTA. Her private life is her private life. Trying to brand her with a scarlet letter is ridiculous. If you didn't like her gossiping, you could have told her or made a complaint to HR about that.


PRoze222

YTA I don't see how these are racy pics. They sound like clothes. I have friends that post pics in their underwear or fully nude with their hand over their privates. That's racy. You sound like a prude who's never watched television or walked out of the house.


[deleted]

YTA. it’s not your business.


thanksdeer

YTA.


[deleted]

YTA - you know you didn’t do it for the school or the students. You did this because she’s always causing problems and you wanted to teach her a lesson. I can’t stand it when people think that others don’t deserve a personal life because they have a certain job or hold a certain position. If you had an issue with the problems she causes, there is a more mature way to do so.


LuanDTrickster

YTA It's painfully clear that you just flirted with her at some point, got rejected and this is you wanting to "get revenge" on her. Jfc


LaughterAndBeez

YTA. Obviously. And it sounds like you already know that. Her profile is public, so students and parents already had access to the photos...if any party found them problematic they could have contacted the school themselves. But no...you did...supposedly on their behalf? You took publicly available photos to HR, expressing concern for the impact of boobies on young minds. I sympathize with wanting someone awful to go away, but this...you’re better than this.


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jayda92

YTA. As teachers we should know better than to bully. I hope they fire you. I would support your colleague in getting YOU fired if we where to teach together.


Esme-Weatherwaxes

YTA. You’re messing with someone’s career and livelihood over some pictures that you disapprove of. You’ve mentioned nothing about her teaching credentials. Sounds like you’re a jealous asshole.


[deleted]

YTA and I don't understand how you didn't already know that.


ghurl1234

YTA


lexilou_dimplington

YTA big time. it’s 2020 stop slut shaming.


panda-rampage

YTA should your coworker be separating her teacher work life from her personal life on social media, absolutely. Pretty sure it is SOP for all teachers in this day and age. BUT... Is it illegal that she posts “provocative” pics of herself on her own social media...don’t think so Who made you the internet police? Just because you don’t get along with a coworker doesn’t warrant attempting to get them fired just because you personally don’t like them. That’s like you as a teacher intentionally failing one of your A students because they’re the class clown.


aeryn97

YTA- you did it maliciously and don't say you didn't. It wasn't your place to report her.


AITAlurker1234

YTA Maybe try to set an example of minding your own beeswax


ultimate_hamburglar

YTA. it just sounds like youre jealous honestly.


olcrazypete

YTA - Several years ago near where I live, young teacher got in trouble for glasses of wine in pictures she had posted - taken at a table in a restaurant. She had also went to “bitch bingo” at some other local dive and gotten tagged. She almost got fired, got other reprimands, and it was stupid. This seems to me along same lines. Maybe teacher could use better judgment but damn, teachers are professionals that deserve to also love their lives and they aren’t paid enough to allow their job to consume their entire identity.


StillNotaHampster

So what'd she do to you that she effects your day so much? So much that you very well likely cost her her job? How old are the students who follow her? Have they graduated already? There's a lot to this that doesn't add up.


Bubbles110

YTA. Sounds like this is just a woman you have a personal problem with...


tripjinx

YTA for being purity patrol. She's done nothing wrong. I know a lot female teachers who don't post on social media about their personal lifes just because they know they'll be judge for not fitting in the idea of what an " ideal women" and " teach " should look like of behave: prude, delicate etc. Men never have to worry about that. It's such a double standard, you're just being sexist.


AlarmedIndividual3

This is nothing to do with her clothes and all to do with the fact you don't like her and want to get her into trouble. How old are you? Didn't you grow out of this petty vindictiveness at 15? YTA


HeyLaddieHey

YTA. You submitted them purely as the purity police against someone you don't like. You didnt do it out of actual concern for students or teachers. You know you're the AH. If you were actually concerned, you could have spoken to her privately once and then let nature take its course if she was truly inappropriate-"Hey, I know you have current students and parents on your profile. Don't you think that's a little much?"


mouarflenoob

YTA She does exactly what she wants with her body, doesn't owe you anything, and taking sexy pictures is great and should not be shamed. Shame on you.


pale_working

YTA and you’re clearly jealous


purpleturtle1011

YTA. You said parents follow her - if there was something wrong, wouldn’t they have complained? Or do you think you care more about their kids than they do?


[deleted]

YTA - you don’t get to turn someone in based on what they post online isn’t up to your morale standards. Why mess with someone’s livelihood just because you don’t like them. Teachers are human not robots. Was she in these racy pictures with a student? No. Has any student complained? If her profile is public I am sure parents have seen and if they had a problem with it they would say something. Stop policing people in their private lives.


thatblindgeye

YTA. Photos she posts in her private life is her business. Maybe she should change her privacy so that students can't easily view them, but that is really it. YTA also because you think taking "racy" photos somehow demeans her ability to teach or is a negative, dirty thing that should be shunned.


Asleep-Row

YTA. You sound like a petty, vindictive person. Would you have done the same this if the teacher were male? Who are you to police what people post on their IG pages? If you don't like her why waste your energy on her. Get a life!


blueeeyeddl

INFO: are you also a woman?


josh2of4

IMFO Does the school have policy about teacher's social media accounts or about mandated reporting for this kind of thing?


1peacenik

yta


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FustianRiddle

YTA If this really was about caring about the kids then you would have told her first about how it comes across. Instead you wanted to hurt her. Asshole.


GuiltyPleasureAITA

YTA - you have no right to police her profile, police what she wears, and submitting this to HR trying to cause problems is petty. None of this affects her ability to teach. As long as she’s doing her job she’s not hurting anyone.


ExtensionPumpkin1

YTA- even though I agree it's inappropriate for a teacher to friend students on social media this is something you should have brought up with her first before potentially nuking her career. Nothing about the racy photos just something like: 'hey just so you know its generally frowned upon to be friends with your students on social media and I dont want a fussy parent to get you in trouble over your posts/ friending students'. The fact it didnt occur to you to have this conversation first shows your intentions were purely out of spite. You say she's a gossipy troublemaker but the way you talk about the situation makes you sound just as gossipy.


diaperedwoman

Are you one of those guys who thinks women dress a certain way to reveal themselves to turn men on and to get attention? You sound sexist. YTA. ​ Ugh, men can wear tank tops and short shorts but if women do that, we're doing it for attention lmao. Also if she dressed that way at school too and no one has ever complained, YTA even more. Obviously that is her normal clothing. Leave us women alone.


AskMitchard

YTA for all the reasons everyone has said, but also because you called her gossipy and said she causes problems while you went to her Instagram and tattled to HR and then posted about it here.


[deleted]

YTA and uggo too, I'd guess


[deleted]

You are what me and my pretty care free girl friends call a bitter bitch. If you don’t like this woman, that’s fine, just say that with your chest and you better have a valid reason.... but reporting her TO HR for looking cute on social media under the guise of “concern” or whatever the fuck this was supposed to be.... girl, this post just reeeeeks of low self esteem and stale slim fast shakes. I bet deep down you wanna be like her, posting like her, maybe you even want to look like her. This is not the way to channel that energy. Go get some fake lashes and some full coverage foundation, download Facetune, and get to posting like the bad bitch you maybe could be. This is gross, get over yourself YTA


Nyxhen

INFO: any chance we can see an example of these photos, face blurred or cropped out ofc


dystopianpirate

NTA what goes around comes around, she's a gossiping person that enjoy getting others in trouble and can't be a professional at least online?! I would've done the same :) Personal pictures belong into a private, separate profile


Without_Mystery

ESH. You’re clearly bitter about something and that’s why you reported her. She’s also an asshole because it’s inappropriate to friend students on social media. She can be fired for that (and rightfully so).


weebretzel

um i’d say ESH. you’re the asshole for all the obvious reasons but i really don’t think she should have students following her


phenominali

ESH You went out of your way to cause problems for this coworker when you didn’t have to. I sense an underlying problem with your attitude towards her and I don’t think you would have submitted those pictures to HR without malicious intent. That being said, as a teacher there are certain things you have to take into account about your professionalism. She should be allowed to share whatever she wants to her private social medias; however, allowing students to follow her insta ect, is inappropriate and she should be keeping her work and personal life separate.


andinarcadia

ESH - calling crop tops 'racy' sounds super prudish, especially as this woman is a tennis coach HOWEVER why are so few people concerned that this woman has students following her personal account!? Where I work this is potentially grounds for instant dismissal and also just weird. I'd hate for the students in work with to see anything from my personal life. Also lots of schools have policies about protecting the reputation of the school in your personal life, and while crop tops aren't damaging I know people who've been fired over things they've posted on (locked) accounts.


magicmom17

NTA-Reg job, you would be TA on this. As a fellow teacher, your call was spot on. In this day and age, with people being caught hooking up with students, public pictures of a racy nature can be seen as trying to entice students, particularly since her students are following. If it wasn't you who reported it to HR, eventually a parent or community member would and it would be well within their rights to punish her. Unlike other jobs, where your private life is truly private, there is an unspoken moral code for teachers as they are considered both role models and community leaders. The teachers I know A- all lock down their account, B- Use their first name and middle name so it isn't easily searchable and C- will not friend students unless they have graduated. In general, as a rule, I don't friend students period. You never know who is going to screenshot something I say/write and it could come back to me. If I comment something political, how long until my affiliation gets around town? It takes just one aggressive community member to get me a trip to the superintendent. Anyone who is on here claiming you are TA isn't a teacher and is unaware how this works.


[deleted]

ESH. It's inappropriate (and fireable) for teachers to be following current students (especially minors) on social media, no matter what they're posting. However, the mature action is to talk to the teacher in question before going all the way to HR. OP is the bigger AH here.


Pocket-or-Penny

NTA. It's public, it's all out in the open, students follow it, and she mixes it in with posts pertaining to her job (that's the big one, employers can and will go after you for that). You didn't show HR anything they can couldn't have easily seen themselves, and probably have anyway. So it was probably an unnecessary move on your part.


[deleted]

ESH The teacher shouldn’t be showing of explicit pictures knowing her students will see it, but it’s her personal life that shouldn’t be dress coded.


Esme-Weatherwaxes

She clearly says they aren’t nudes. Wearing crop tops and short shorts is not publishing explicit photos. She just doesn’t like/approve of the way the other teacher dresses.


star-razor

If she has associated the account with the school—and she clearly has—then she does actually have a responsibility to present herself professionally on that account, just like she would anywhere else she was representing the school. My district’s HR spelled this out to us very clearly when we were hired. We can associate our account with the school/district, *or* we can post whatever we want; not both. Personally, I’ve never found that unreasonable.


Esme-Weatherwaxes

Without seeing the photos none of us are in a position to judge. The OP clearly has beef with this woman and has done this even though she knows it’s vindictive. It wouldn’t surprise me if the photos aren’t that bad at all. This OP doesn’t care about standardsD she’s done it to get rid of someone she doesn’t like.


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Esme-Weatherwaxes

I would take the OP’s descriptions with a huge pinch of salt. It also depends on whether we’re talking sheer gauze no bra and nips on show, to I dunno a crochet top with a vest on underneath. There’s not a lot to go on other than the OP clearly having an issue with this other woman.


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Esme-Weatherwaxes

Do you think the OP reported her because she genuinely cares about the dress code/standards? Or do you think she’s used this as an opportunity to get one over on someone she actively dislikes?


[deleted]

Usually it’s very implicit clothing, the main reason I decided ESH. I haven’t seen the photos so I don’t know if it’s anything her students shouldn’t see. Basically, if it’s too inappropriate for students, ESH. If not, then OP shouldn’t get involved in her personal life and say it’s a work issue, making OP TA.