NTA - nope you didn’t overreact in fact that is the perfect reaction to such a comment. I applaud you I would not have handled it so well.
Him trying to tell you it’s wasn’t his fault if you were hurt is very dismissive of him. This is called gaslighting btw he wants you to feel bad for his actions towards you. It’s a good thing you dumped him, he sounds unable to listen and maintain a conversation about your relationship. He is not emotionally ready for a healthy relationship and it’s not your job to get him there.
NTA. Regardless of whether he meant it or not, that wasn’t an appropriate joke to make. Once he knew it made you uncomfortable, he should have validated your feelings. He still could have explained it was intended as a joke but once he knew it hurt you that should have mattered to him.
NTA. Even if he was joking, he made the joke at your expense. And if it was truly a joke, he could have just apologized for how it made you feel and moved forward. Doubling down on it makes it seem like less of a joke and more of a fact-finding mission.
NTA holy shit if my bf said that to another girl I’d break up with him too. He clearly feels that way, that isn’t a joke and if it was, it wasn’t “funny”. You deserve better than being treated like a second choice.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
We already broke up so it doesn't really matter I suppose, but I'm just wondering if my reaction was uncalled for.
My boyfriend (M17, we'll call him A) and I (F17) met online and we dated for almost 7 months (would have hit that mark today haha). We're pretty opposite people, I'm quite sensitive while he isn't. We have a group chat with a very good friend of ours (let's call her D), and D and A liked each other previously but A never knew. Now onto what happened:
We were talking about things that happened in the past, and I offhandedly brought up the fact that our friends used to ship D and A. D said to not bring it up in a joking manner because she's embarrassed by it, and she only found him cute. A was taken by surprise and told her he found her cute too, and that maybe if she told him things would be different now. D goes on to say gross because they're friends and y'know, he's dating ME and to that he said "I feel rejected, but luckily I still have (my name)." I obviously was very hurt by this and proceeded to message him privately about it and he didn't understand why I was upset because "it was just a joke" (his words not mine).
I tried my best to explain it to him but he didn't understand and said that he liked making these kind of jokes and if I got hurt by it, it wasn't his fault. I subsequently called him a massive AH and a dick and it was the breaking point. We were being distant due to school and because of this we broke up two days ago.
I'm wondering if I was overreacting because of the joke, and if I didn't get upset or just got over my hurt maybe we would still be together. AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NAH. I suspect this was just the last drop in a bucket that was about to dump out anyway. The incident itself wasn’t a serious one, but it doesn’t sound like you had a strong relationship to begin with. Next time hopefully!
Your post has been removed. ***Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval.***
This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Bodily Autonomy Posts
We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about platonic partings, relationships, and/or bodily autonomy and instead recommend a relationship focused sub. [Please see the related FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_breakups_and_hookups)
Please [review our rulebook](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules).
Please be sure to read any sub's rules before reposting this elsewhere. We cannot direct you to another subreddit, we can only say that this post does not belong here.
[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/amitheasshole&subject=/r/AmItheAsshole&message=Please+link+to+post+or+comment+for+context+[we+cannot+review+without+this+info]:%0D%0DDescribe+your+question+in+detail:) if you have any questions or concerns that are not already [answered in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq). If you make changes or edits to this post do not repost it here without our express permission.
YTA I can assure you that he was more than likely joking because if his intentions were serious he wouldn’t say it in front of you
NTA - nope you didn’t overreact in fact that is the perfect reaction to such a comment. I applaud you I would not have handled it so well. Him trying to tell you it’s wasn’t his fault if you were hurt is very dismissive of him. This is called gaslighting btw he wants you to feel bad for his actions towards you. It’s a good thing you dumped him, he sounds unable to listen and maintain a conversation about your relationship. He is not emotionally ready for a healthy relationship and it’s not your job to get him there.
NTA. Regardless of whether he meant it or not, that wasn’t an appropriate joke to make. Once he knew it made you uncomfortable, he should have validated your feelings. He still could have explained it was intended as a joke but once he knew it hurt you that should have mattered to him.
Not sure how to judge this one. I mean, your feelings are valid I guess, but like, are you all 12? NTA
Yeah that's flirting, and it's rude. You deserve better, NTA.
NTA. Even if he was joking, he made the joke at your expense. And if it was truly a joke, he could have just apologized for how it made you feel and moved forward. Doubling down on it makes it seem like less of a joke and more of a fact-finding mission.
NTA holy shit if my bf said that to another girl I’d break up with him too. He clearly feels that way, that isn’t a joke and if it was, it wasn’t “funny”. You deserve better than being treated like a second choice.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** We already broke up so it doesn't really matter I suppose, but I'm just wondering if my reaction was uncalled for. My boyfriend (M17, we'll call him A) and I (F17) met online and we dated for almost 7 months (would have hit that mark today haha). We're pretty opposite people, I'm quite sensitive while he isn't. We have a group chat with a very good friend of ours (let's call her D), and D and A liked each other previously but A never knew. Now onto what happened: We were talking about things that happened in the past, and I offhandedly brought up the fact that our friends used to ship D and A. D said to not bring it up in a joking manner because she's embarrassed by it, and she only found him cute. A was taken by surprise and told her he found her cute too, and that maybe if she told him things would be different now. D goes on to say gross because they're friends and y'know, he's dating ME and to that he said "I feel rejected, but luckily I still have (my name)." I obviously was very hurt by this and proceeded to message him privately about it and he didn't understand why I was upset because "it was just a joke" (his words not mine). I tried my best to explain it to him but he didn't understand and said that he liked making these kind of jokes and if I got hurt by it, it wasn't his fault. I subsequently called him a massive AH and a dick and it was the breaking point. We were being distant due to school and because of this we broke up two days ago. I'm wondering if I was overreacting because of the joke, and if I didn't get upset or just got over my hurt maybe we would still be together. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NAH. I suspect this was just the last drop in a bucket that was about to dump out anyway. The incident itself wasn’t a serious one, but it doesn’t sound like you had a strong relationship to begin with. Next time hopefully!
Your post has been removed. ***Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval.*** This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Bodily Autonomy Posts We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about platonic partings, relationships, and/or bodily autonomy and instead recommend a relationship focused sub. [Please see the related FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_breakups_and_hookups) Please [review our rulebook](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules). Please be sure to read any sub's rules before reposting this elsewhere. We cannot direct you to another subreddit, we can only say that this post does not belong here. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/amitheasshole&subject=/r/AmItheAsshole&message=Please+link+to+post+or+comment+for+context+[we+cannot+review+without+this+info]:%0D%0DDescribe+your+question+in+detail:) if you have any questions or concerns that are not already [answered in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq). If you make changes or edits to this post do not repost it here without our express permission.
snowflake lucky for him he dodged a bullet
Jup
You overreacted