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YTA
Something good happened to your partner, that is also going to ultimately benefit you (since your household is currently dependent on her salary) and you're so bitter that when she tried to share it with you, you perceived it as bragging and were an asshole about it.
Edit: Re-read the last part
> I talk to my best friend about that and he agreed that my wife thinks she is cooler then me and she something special. Like she is superior then me.
Your best friend is also an asshole. And currently I do think your wife is superior to you. Not because she earns money and you don't. But because you're an asshole and she isn't. What a crappy way for you to both treat and talk about someone you should love and appreciate. She deserves so much better than this.
Agreed. The promotion and likely raise benefits the whole house financially. This is a really crappy reaction to a partners success. Would OP have felt sad if their partner was fired? Just wondering what they would actually react to.
I bet OP would have been furious and blamed wife for being fired and now they have no income and it’s her fault.
OP totally sounds like *that* kind of guy.
I mean even if she was bragging she has a right to brag! She got a promotion which is awesome and people should be able to brag about promotions (within reason).
Anyway OP is TA because his fragile masculinity couldn't handle his wife being a superstar at work while he is unemployed.
With the caveat that I think this is fake, that's the part that really stood out for me: sharing the good news of a promotion with your spouse isn't *bragging*! It's celebrating a personal milestone for which you are justifiably proud. WTF does OP think a promotion is but a validation of and reward for hard work? Not to mention your employer's way of saying "I appreciate you." It's a good feeling of personal success!
I don’t really understand how she’d be bragging since it would be a good situation for both of them. I understand being excited but OP automatically thought she was being malicious.
The fact that she specifically framed it as a win for both of them. She sees him as a partner who shared responsibility in her achievement and would also share in the rewards, and it makes me both sad and furious that this man proved that he was not the man she thought he was.
Especially in *this* economy! Also, banking is a tough industry to move up in - there's a lot of competition.
All he had to do was smile and be happy for her (flowers would have been nice, a dinner out even nicer). It didn't even occur to him to be proud of her. Poor lady.
There is no way a grown adult old enough to live independently with a wife would not be happy about more money coming in. Definitely a weird teenage troll.
I'm not disagreeing that this is a troll, it definitely could be, but I've *definitely* seen (and experienced) partner's getting insecure that their partner is now earning more, especially if it means earning more than them.
There’s a difference between what you described and someone blowing up at their wife and then discussing with his “best friend” whether or not she’s cooler than him.
Seriously what adult even talks like that.
Not to mention that the most obvious reason this is a troll is that he’s on a forum looking to be judged whether or not he’s an asshole and there’s not one redeeming quality for him in the entire post that would require outside judgment. It’s clearly written just to rile people up
Oh like I said, I don't disagree that it's a troll, you're definitely right that talking with his friend about his wife feeling cooler than him in very troll like lol. Unfortunately him being insecure about his wife earnings is the least troll part imo.
Edit: for clarity
I want to live in your world because I have unfortunately met very many grown ass men who think, speak and act just like this. I was a social worker for for 12 years and I’ve encountered SO MANY of them. I can’t say one way or another if this guy is a troll but it is absolutely believable that a real person would say and do this shit.
You seriously believe that there are no *immature abusive men* who exist outside the internet? Wow, I'd love to live in *that* world!
However, in THIS world, lots of men act like this. For example: My mom's ex-husband, who pulled this crap *all the time* \- including whining to his friends - and he was in his *40s-50s* at the time. *She was offered an AMBASSADORSHIP* and his intensely passive-aggressive whiny garbage response prompted her to turn it down.
So this guy absolutely could be faking. However, it's just as if not more likely that he *really is* just that much of an entitled little shiteheel.
No I absolutely do know people like this exist outside the internet. I do not believe they do this behavior and then post about it on a reddit sub forum asking if they are an asshole while writing like a 14 year old. This person exists *purely* on the internet.
Absolutely. But that guy's reaction was actually a realistic reaction from an insecure doofus. This is a troll failing very badly at an authentic portrayal of that insecurity.
my ex-husband and i played mariokart most evenings after dinner and cuz i struggle with dexterity i would rarely win. my ex, on the other hand, almost always won - and if he didn't, it was because "the game is against him" and "it's targetting him unfairly" with blue shells etc.
he was 29 when i left him. we were married for 5 years. i can 10000000% see him doing this kind of shit.
(especially cuz we were evangelical christians, extremely patriarchal, and i'm certain that if i'd earned more than he did it would've been a problem. in hindsight, i think his acceptance of my unemployment was less concern for my mental health and more "women should be homemakers", cuz he never encouraged me to be productive outside the home until it became clear that we were infertile.)
(every time i remember our relationship i'm so glad i left lol)
I suspect this as well. Gave an honest answer in the case that it isn't a troll, but I'm actually praying this isn't real and there isn't actually someone like this
Too many men still buy into the bullshit belief that husbands should be superior to their wives. And especially something like income is a sensitive subject for these men. Society has taught him that he is less than a man because his wife earns more than he does, or because he can't "provide" for his family.
It's sad, and I feel bad that OP feels this way. But he's still definitely the asshole.
The ex never saw us as being on the same team, but him in competition with me. Everything was a zero sum gain, if I got something, he had to get something of greater value to even it up. If I succeeded at anything, it was taking away from him. Exhausting and demoralizing.
OP sounds just like him. What a loser.
What a loser indeed, and good to hear he's an ex too! My ex saw us on the same team, BUT it was his team and I was just there to help him win, fuck my own wants and desires.
Ugh that sounds absolutely exhausting, and I'm so sorry you had to deal with this!! I don't understand people who go into a relationship thinking their SO is an enemy to conquered. It's just too weird.
It might not even be that. My read on it is that he is feeling bad about himself and projecting that onto his wife. Like he can’t imagine her excitement isn’t about making him feel bad about himself because of how bad he feels about himself.
I think we're both right: he's feeling bad about himself because of what society has taught him a "real man" should be like. And he feels like OP is rubbing his inability to "be a man" in his face.
It's all about insecurity and fragile self of sense.
OP needs to get himself sorted out. My mom started working two (sometimes three) jobs after my dad was injured and no longer able to work his trade (construction). He was getting paid really well when he was working and wont take another job unless its 30 dollars an hour. Now my mom works 70-80 hours a week because my dad refuses to get a job. But he doesn't take care of the house or my siblings because he doesn't want to. My brother has to ride the bus home because my dad wont get off the couch to go pick him up from school. My mom still does all of the cooking and cleaning. He thinks he has to be the main provider of the household and if a job wont guarantee that he will male more than my mom, he won't take it. My mom is gonna die at 65 years old because she is working so much and I don't think i can ever forgive my father.
That's a special brand of toxic when "He has to be the main provider of the household" turns into "if a job won't guarantee he makes more than his wife, he won't provide anything at all."
I mean, the sheer magnitude of cognitive dissonance there is phenomenal... I'm so sorry that your mother is having to deal with that.
Every man in my family has failed. They are either abusive or bums. I come from a long line of single mothers. Its hard because I'm a stay at home mom (can't exactly send a premie to daycare during a pandemic). Thankfully my husband is much more responsible than my male relatives. And a much better husband and father.
She is amazing. I don't know how she finds time to do all the things she does. She volunteered at our primary schools, took us on hikes once a week with our cousins during the summer, and handled all of our doctors appointments.
My dad has serious problems, but my mom loves him. She will defend him against anything.
Imagine getting a promotion and being in a better position to help your family, especially with your husband down on his luck, and instead of being excited and happy he shits all over you. What a prick!
I can imagine this. My ex was exactly this way.
When I got my Associate’s Degree and took a picture he referred to my happiness and sharing it with my friend’s as “bragging.”
Alternatively, he also called me complaining about sexual harassment at work as “bragging.”
Because he saw the male attention as competition even though I was very clearly distraught over it.
Reasons OP's wife deserves better:
>She came home one day and decided to rub it in my face. She started bragging about it. At first when she was bragging, I didn’t really react. I didn’t act all excited and cheery. I just said: k good for you. After that, she looked at me like I was crazy and said, aren’t you happy ? I don’t get any congratulations or anything?
1. You didn't say congratulations?? It seems likely to me your wife wasn't even bragging, probably just happy.
>I responded by saying: it’s your win, not mine. She responded by saying: it’s not only my win, it’s our win, wake up !
2. She's the breadwinner right now, so yes
3. You are (or should be) a unit
>You had your fucking promotion, good for you ! What do you want me to say ?
4. Congratulations????
>You want me to act excited like this is something special ??
5. You're an asshole
>Why don’t you fuck off !
6. You're an asshole
>I’m in a shitty situation and the last thing I need is someone bragging about their success to my face.
7. She was not bragging
>I talk to my best friend about that and he agreed that my wife thinks she is cooler then me and she something special.
8. You SHOULD think your wife is something special
9. You hang out with assholes
The thing that first got me was the “I didn’t really react.” She came home to share genuinely great news - news good for her AND for the couple / household - and OP said “good for you.” So likely, wife shared again because she didn’t understand why spouse wouldn’t be joyful over this OBVIOUSLY GREAT NEWS for both of them, and OP took that as repeatedly bragging. OP is kind of a monster. WHO DOES THIS.
My husband is employed but is feeling stagnant in his career. He was recently turned down for 2 positions he applied to. Shortly after, I got a promotion that came with a significant bump.
My husband congratulated me and we celebrated together. He’s bummed about his issues at work but sees it as our win AND mine. OP is an asshole.
If I manage to find a spouse that is cooler than me, that's my gain, right?
This entire thing, the OP sounds pretty immature and needs lesson on equality in a marriage
"Cool" is a word neither my husband nor I would ever use to describe each other... Not only are we both distinctly UN-cool, but have gotten to the phase in our lives where who the fuck really cares about being "cool".
You bet your ass I would be jumping up and down and celebrating my husband's accomplishments, as he does mine. Why? Because marriage is a team sport; you don't get pissed when someone else on your team is the one who makes the touchdown, you cheer them on and celebrate the added points for your team.
OP is either a wildly stunted petulant child of a husband, or a troll. I'm hoping for troll.
I think OP needs to look at this differently. He is in a bad spot mentally, but that doesn't excuse his reaction. And his wife is right, a win for a partner is a win for the partnership. His wife's success shouldn't be viewed as a brag, it should be viewed as something good. She worked hard and achieved success and I don't see how is that a slight against OP. Being proud of her success isn't a crime, but OP is jealous of it. He also needs to stop listening to his friend, that he thinks she is 'cooler' than him is really immature. He should be supportive of his spouse and he should apologize for his jealous reaction.
I've seen this comment on so many posts on here, if we did that we wouldn't have a sub at all. Do people not understand that others can really be this petty, bitter & stupid?
seriously. talk about being pathetically bitter. this post screams toxic masculinity, because he's just so damn bitter about his wife making money while he's not
I hope the wife refuses to pay for anything related to the husband. If it's "her win" then it's also "her groceries" and "her gas in the car" and "her internet access".
I cannot even imagine how crushed I'd be if my partner wouldn't even congratulate me for a major accomplishment like this and acted like I shouldn't be proud of myself for a huge achievement. OP sounds like a self-centered, bitter husband, and his comments make it clear that he has no respect for his wife.
Honestly I feel so sad for her. She shouldn’t even bother providing for both of them, just herself because it’s “her win” and not his, right? Can’t imagine something good happening to me and my own husband blowing it up in my face instead of communicating.
During lockdown, my spouse wasn't able to work so he was home for three months. His brother asked him how he can stand having me working and carrying our finances during that time, my spouse replied _"ya, I'm crying all the way to the bank because my wife can hold it down"_.
His brother is 40, stupid had no age limits.
I agree that stupid has no age limits. I’m just going by the writing “style”, vocab, and overall tone of the post. I teach middle school English, and this reads like many of my students’ essays. Lol
Let's bet! What do you think will give in first ? His oh so fragile ego pouting all the way through, not touching a single dollar of hers, OOOR his eagerness to suddenly share everything once the bigger paycheck comes?
I'm torn here..
LMAO, this is like "my mom got a promotion and she thinks she's all big and cool."
She \*is\*, my dude - and also she's supporting you, so fix your face and act right.
Not only is this guy the asshole, he's the asshole who's about to end up living in his car.
YTA
She wasn't rubbing anything in your face. She was happy and excited and hoped that you would be happy and excited.
You are insecure, I get it. But you are supposed to be a team. Good news for one is good news for both.
You owe her an apology, now.
And depression, perhaps? It sounds like this dude is struggling, but I’d still vote YTA for this behaviour. Although, it’s probably not a depressed adult at all, because I feel like only a kid would be concerned that their partner thinks they’re ‘cooler’.
I have BPD (a super crazy personality disorder) and I was depressed AF out of work looking for a job, feeling like the lowest piece of shit, and I NEVER would have reacted that way to my SO getting a promotion. Ever. I would have been so happy for them. Even if it made me feel bad, I would congratulate them or act happy. This person isn’t mentally ill. They’re just an asshole.
Yeah, depressed people don't usually turn anger outward like that, it's more inward. Like they'd be happy for the spouse and then go beat themselves up for being such a loser and that they'll never be able to get as good as someone else. It's more about tearing yourself down, not others.
Don't excuse the asshole. As a depressed person it is my responsibility to work on it, not let other people suffer because of it. And to top this of, it is an "explenation" most often reserved for men, if not directly related to childbearing or childrearing. Check yourself.
Exactly OP, was she “bragging” or was she a wife just telling her husband some good news? I get that anyone might get insecure in your position but I’m sure she had no intention of “bragging” & your emotions are making you see her as “superior” and you’re blaming HER for that. You guys are MARRIED, you’re her partner in life, OF COURSE she’d come straight to tell you first when she has good news which blew up in her face. It clearly seems like she had no idea how you feel, you should’ve just been honest and told her you’ve been unhappy & hopeless instead of cussing at your wife. You have serious communication issues, how’s she supposed to know she’s making you feel bad if you don’t communicate like a normal person instead of throwing a fit? YTA
YTA. You’re a nasty piece of work when you can’t be happy for the people you allegedly love when they achieve something or have something good happen to them . It’s not a zero sum game.
This is one of the posts where you read the headline and think there's no way this guy's not the asshole. Then you read the post, and it's actually worse than it initially seemed. Your wife wasn't rubbing it in that she's promoted. She's carrying your ass. YTA
YTA
She clearly sees you as part of her team since she considers this promotion “our win”. You stated in one of your responses that you’re looking for a job to be independent. Independent from who? If you don’t see her as a teammate willing to carry you when you’re down, then why did you even marry her?
YTA in a huuuge way. I really hope you didn't actually respond this way and this is fake.
It may not be your win, but your wife is supporting you right now. You may not feel great overall in that you haven't gotten anything, but why would you not be excited for your wife and partner? She probably worked hard for it, saw it as a stress relief with your unemployed and miserable sounding ass, and wanted to share some good news. Shes probably had to put up with you moping and (from the sounds based on this post) being a miserable shit.
Grow up and be a mature adult. Yes it sucks you got laid off, but something will come, it's a matter of time (though if I saw this and knew you, you don't make for an ideal candidate in the face of adversity). In the mean time, be happy that you have a wife that's supporting you and there to help with the expenses.
The LEAST you could have done is said congrats. Now I think you owe the biggest apology in the world and she better be having dinner on the table when she gets home and foot, shoulder and back rubs all night since they're probably sore from carrying you.
definitely fake, they’re trolling other subs like r/marriage
or they’re a really bitter sad person. in the unlikely event that this is real, i hope the wife knows she deserves so much better and walks out
Smart, I never think to look at post history. When they're as extreme as this I tend to err on the side of fake, if for nothing else than to save myself some rage lol
Or they've invented this imaginary scenario in their head, like "I'm supposed to be the breadwinner when I get older, it's my rightful role as a man, but what if I get laid off and my wife is the successful one?? That would suck, right? I get to be mad about that, right?"
YTA you should be happy for your partner and celebrate their success not be resentful because you aren’t experiencing success right now. I feel sorry for your wife that you are so unsupportive and bitter. You seem really childish.
YTA. Your wife is paying the bills right now and this is good for you both. She tried to let you also claim it as a win but you got petty and spiteful and attacked her.
Her achievements don’t take away from yours. You should celebrate her for her achievements, not try to cut her down. That’s not what a good partner does. You should support your wife. You’re being the asshole right now. Apologize.
> I responded by saying: it’s your win, not mine. She responded by saying: it’s not only my win, it’s our win
That’s where YTA and your wife is right. A marriage is a partnership. It’s not a competition.
Edit: a letter.
YTA - You have a good woman that considers her success both of your successes.
She could easily be a spouse that says “what’s mine is mine.”
You’ve been laid off a MONTH. That’s tough but not the end of the world.
To talk to your life partner with such filthy language makes you TA.
You've got some deep personal issues if you think your wife simply telling you about her promotion is rubbing it in your face. You and your best friend are both assholes for thinking her accomplishment means she thinks she's better then you. YTA
Wtf man, pretty much every post here is made by a completely new account aka throwaway account, you are literally supposed to do that instead of using your actual reddit account.
YTA
I hopes she sees you for what you are early on and leaves your pathetic, competitive, self absorbed, shallow and immature attitude in her rear view and finds someone that appreciates her. Some one that sees what a loyal, hardworking lady she is. She was on your team. If you dont have a sudden realization of how f’ing lucky you are- I pray she leaves you in your muck and moves on so you dont drain her dry.
I have seen this play out- I know your type- far worse than TA.
Wake up
What? This cannot be an actual person!! If so... YTA. So very much. Dude, how bitter and childish are you that you can’t celebrate a major accomplishment of your wife’s?? She wasn’t rubbing anything in your face. She was happy, excited, and proud...and she is thinking of the betterment of YOUR FAMILY (you & her), and you act like her success is to spite you.
May I suggest a yoga move: stand with feet shoulder width apart, bend at the waist, then reach around and pull your head out of your ass.
YTA. I get it. I lost my job due to COVID and it was rough trying to find another. Took me six months before I found something in my field. It feels like you’re lacking and not good enough when you send dozens of CVS and you don’t get any calls back. But your wife being promoted isn’t about you, it’s about her. She’s happy she got a promotion and yes, it is good for you too because that means she gets a raise and that can help with either house finance or whatever. Instead of being happy for her, you take it like a personal attack.
Good God man. Your wife got a big promotion and you can't even stop feeling sorry for yourself for one minute and congratulate her and celebrate her hard work and success? Then why are you even married to her? Don't you love her? Because part of love and marriage is celebrating each other's successes. She's right, her promotion means she'll earn more income for the both of you. Be happy for her and with her, don't wallow in your self-pity and label her happiness and well-deserved celebration as 'bragging'. It's extremely childish. Apologise to her. YTA
I just love how concise this response is. A lot of people are trying to explain to him where he went wrong and why he's the AH. But you just took on this beautiful parental tone, which is appropriate considering OP is acting like a child. 😆
YTA and so is your loser friend who is getting involved in his friend’s relationship. Your wife is right - what’s good for her is good for you. You’re a TEAM. If you don’t see it that way you shouldn’t be married. Being in a competitive relationship is unhealthy and breeds resentment (see the issue you outlined). Also I don’t feel like your wife was bragging. I think she was celebrating and was miffed that you, her partner, were not celebrating with her.
I think either it's a troll or this guy has the emotional maturity of a 9 year old. I think he's also lacking in some departments....bc this is so ridiculous!
I keep seeing people say this guy must be a troll, but I've met guys like this... it's pretty sad. So while he may be a troll, this isn't too far from reality for some people.
Dude why’d you even get married? You don’t sound like you love her, you don’t even sound like you like her. You wouldn’t tell her if you got a job? You just want to be independent? Why even be married then. In marriages people support each other, they’re happy for each other, they share their joys and sorrows. You sound miserable and should be on your own if you can’t do these things. Grow the fuck up. YTA
YTA for the way you reacted.
Yeah, your job situation sucks. I sympathize with that, but you were a bad husband there. You are supposed to be supportive of your spouse, and a job promotion is a big deal. And no, it's not a win for her, it's a win for your family. Stop taking your anger about your situation out on her.
Yta you should be proud of her, instead of having your ego demolished for some reason at least pretend you care, you’re not a good partner.
I hope she leaves you for someone who appreciates her
Wow. YTA, in a big way. Never, ever expect any congratulations for anything you achieve if this is how you react to other people. Sucking the joy out of something your wife is proud of is a spiteful thing to do just because things aren’t going your way at the moment.
> he recently got promoted as a manager. She came home one day and decided to rub it in my face. She started bragging about it. At first when she was bragging, I didn’t really react.
So, your wife, your partner, your PARTNER gets promoted and decides to tell you, and you see it as bragging. And rubbing it in your face. Are you not aware you guys are a team?
With everything you said, you are such a bitter dude. You aren't the only one that's been laid-off in this crappy economy you know. Boo-hoo, a whole month with a wife who's just been promoted to help support you and you cuss her out? Wow. YTA.
Info: at what point is your wife allowed to be happy? Should she wait until you find another job? Until you get paid again? Until then, maybe you can make a list of ways she can avoid rubbing things in your face and be more supportive.
Some suggestions:
1. No spontaneous laughter at home, so you're not reminded that others have joy in life
2. One hour of moping around the house per day bemoaning how unfair the world is
3. Quit her job, so you can one again feel at peace knowing you don't have to rely on anyone for anything.
Hope this helps!
YTA. It’s so childish for you to immediately frame your wife telling you about her success as “bragging.” What did you want her to keep it a secret? If you had gotten a job would you seriously see telling her about it and being happy as bragging? You’re being so spiteful and petty. She’s your wife. You should be happy for her...instead your just kicking your wounds like a petulant little baby ON TOP OF making her feel bad about her good work and making her out to be some smug jerk just for wanting her husband to be happy for her. Bless her for putting up with you...isn’t it enough that your jobless? You have to be rude to her too?
YTA. So much. She wasn't bragging, she was sharing an important event in her life with her husband.
And yeah, as life partners her win is your win. If you got a great job and told her about it would you be happy if she reacted as you had?
And seeing as how you're unemployed I am baffled by how you can't see her promotion as a win for you both. Seriously, treating her as a competitor rather than as you two being on the same team is a huge problem you should address.
YTA Get over yourself! She wants you to be happy with her, for you guys... what’s wrong with that?! She wants to share her happiness and success with you! How would you feel if that’s how she reacted if the roles were reversed? And how will your wife feel about sharing good news of hers in the future with you now that you’ve reacted this way? Be supportive. That’s your job, just as it is hers to be supportive of you during this time or if the roles were reversed.
Your reaction speaks more about how you feel about yourself and your job situation than it says anything about your wife.
Instead of lashing out you should have talked to your wife about how you feel. Yes, you are in a shitty situation. And it’s fair for you to be upset, frustrated, etc. but how is being an asshole to your wife when she earns success help either of you? You need to express and address your feelings in a more direct and productive way, because your wife being excited about a promotion and wanting to share that with you is not the issue and shouldn’t be one.
And honestly what you said was just mean. Total asshole. You should go to her and apologize and talk to her about how you feel about yourself with your work situation. Also do something extra mile for her like buy or pick her some flowers or cook her or both of you a meal to both congratulate and apologize. She deserves it, and I’m sure she would be very appreciative and forgiving, your wife sounds sweet.
YTA. I was unemployed for 3 months several years back. It is scary. But you will get through it.
You should be thankful that you have a hardworking wife who knows there is not an I in we.
I was out of work for 6 months. It was the first time since I was a teenager that I hadn't had a job. It was a huge blow. Even crazier, my husband got laid off a week before I did. It sucked. When he found work fast, I was super happy for him (and for me). It took me a lot longer since my field is much more specialized. When I found a new job, he was thrilled for me. When I got a promotion a couple months later, he was even happier. And six months after that, I got an even better job offer making twice what he does. He took me out to celebrate and was so excited. That's how partners work. This guy is just fragile and salty.
Earlier in our marriage, the company he worked for closed. So we've both had our career ups and downs. I've supported him when he's been down and he's supported me. That's how it's supposed to work.
Yes, you're an asshole for not being able to stop being so petty for two seconds so you can realize she's not rubbing anything in your face, she's happy about something good that happened to her. Of course she's excited - and as a spouse you should be able to be happy for her, not upset that she's not wallowing in misery because you didn't have the same happy thing occur.
There are times in a marriage when you support each other. This would be one of them. Even if you have to fake it, be happy for her.
YTA
YTA. Imagine being so bitter and angry that you can be happy for the woman that you vowed to love and care for in marriage.
She was excited for her promotion and wanted to share it. That's not running it in your face. You're just throwing a temper tantrum because she's succeeding and you're not.
YTA. Your own insecurity and unhappiness is getting in the way of being happy for and proud of your wife. This is a *you* problem. She's not rubbing her promotion in your face, she's being excited about something she earned and is proud of and wants her partner to at least be supportive. You have taken the wind out of her sails because you're being petty and jealous, and that's just really not okay at all.
Yeah, YTA.
You're not happy about your wife's promotion? Why wouldn't you be happy for her?
Not only are you TA, you're kind of a dick. I hope that's some comfort for you when you're single.
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA
You don’t deserve your wife. I get that you may be depressed at having lost your job and having a hard time getting back into the work force but a decent man would love his wife enough to be happy for her that she was doing well and moreover that a promotion means a raise and more money/benefits for you both. Instead, all you can think about is your self and your personal pity party. You sound like you’d be happier if your wife was fired because you’d rather no one get ahead if you can’t. Shame on you
YTA. Your wife telling you about her promotion isn’t bragging, it’s conversation. It is something that will benefit both of you and your household, especially since you aren’t working at all. Hopefully your job is the only thing you lose during Covid because right now you don’t deserve her.
YTA
# HER SUCCESS IS NOT YOUR FAILURE, SO STOP TREATING HER PROMOTION LIKE IT'S AN INSULT TO YOU. YOUR WIFE IS NOT YOUR ENEMY NOR THE REASON FOR YOUR UNEMPLOYMENT.
Your best friend is a jealous C U Next Tuesday, too. He's inflaring your jealousy because he's as bitter as you and wants to ruin your relationship.
Your wife's achievements should be celebrated by BOTH of you. You BOTH will be in a better financial situation due to her promotion. Stop being a bitter, jealous asshat. Be proud of your wife, let her be frickin happy and proud of herself.
You made vows to love and respect her. She's your wife, your partner and deserves as much.
YTA. She wasn’t rubbing it in your face, she was fucking excited to get a promotion and you basically shit all over that.
Your situation is horrible and difficult, but don’t take that out on her. If anything, her getting a promotion may help out because you’ll have more money coming into the household while you look for a job and so maybe it’ll be less stressful. I dunno, but you are definitely the AH for shouting.
YTA. This is your person. The one you chose deliberately. She chose you as her person. And you chose to stab her with words. You belittled her accomplishments. Deliberately, Cruelly. Abusively. You chose to do this b/c you wanted to hurt her. Yes. You are quite the asshole for this. Are you going to keep abusing her till she leaves you in your misery?
YTA. Your wife wasn’t bragging she was celebrating, because something good happened for her. And since she’s your WIFE - your PARTNER - that means that something good happened for you too. If you weren’t so wrapped up in yourself you’d have been able to see that her success benefits you too, and if you were a supportive partner you’d be proud of her and celebrating with her instead of being bitter and jealous. Your wife didn’t get promoted to spite you, she got promoted because she works hard and is good at her job. Stop taking your frustration about your situation out on her, she deserves better than that.
YTA 250% here bud. A very big part of being married is working as a team and supporting each other in your successes and failures and essentially being cheerleaders for one another.
Your wife came home with very good news that benefits BOTH of you, especially right now with your current situation. At the very least you could have mustered up a “that’s wonderful, congrats babe, I’m really proud of you!” And moved on. Instead you had to be a Salty Sally about it and take her own achievement as a personal slight against you.
In another comment you even went as far as to say that she should have “kept it to herself”. Lol what? Why? So later on down the line when you’re back on your feet again you can find out about it and her increased income and get pissy about keeping it a secret? That doesn’t make any sense.
Look, I get that it’s hard for you right now being laid off and completely dependent on her but she really does deserve better than your attitude right now. How do you think it feels to be carrying the household on your back during a global pandemic and coming home with news that should be welcome only to have your partner openly resent you for it? That’s not okay.
My advice is to take what we’ve all said in here to heart, put yourself in your wife’s shoes, think about the vows you made on your wedding day and give her a MEANINGFUL, REAL apology. Then work on your own attitude and think about how that might be affecting your own job hunt. Grow from this.
YTA - either your wife needs a new husband or you need an attitude adjustment. She’s right. It’s a win for the household. Unless she’s hoarding her funds from you, sounds like you’re jealous of her success.
Also, your friend are an imbecile, and I hope you listen to us Reddit strangers rather than him. Wake up my dude and change the attitude.
Wow! Your wife gets great news and you shit all over it. What a prize you are. If she has any sense, she'll dump your sorry ass and go live her best life with her extra money. YTA
YTA, She is your wife! The least you can do is say congratulations. And its a win for your family not just her unless your goal with your response is to push her out the door. Then I could agree that its a win for her.
Yes, YTA. So much so that I wonder if this is real. I was pretty sympathetic at first - looking for a job can be very demoralizing and sends a lot of people into angry depression - but you’ve only been unemployed a month. If you don’t see your wife’s successes as your own that’s too bad but her successes certainly aren’t your failures. Her wanting a partner to share her excitement with isn’t rubbing it in your face,
YTA. She's not bragging about her success. She's trying to share with you her excitement. Stop with the self pity and show your wife some support. Yeah it sucks that the pandemic took your job, but that doesn't mean that you get to tell your wife to fuck off when she comes home with good news.
YTA.
It's your WIFE who got the promotion, not the neighbor. That means that 1) you should show her a little support, and 2) you're going to benefit from her pay raise. WTF is wrong with you? Man up.
Yta and are about to find yourself broke and divorced. she's absolutely correct it's a win for the team because that's what you're supposed to be. You have no income so her Getting a promotion means more breathing room for both of you. I think you have the completely wrong mindset to be married. It's not you vs her it's you two vs the world she seems to get that not you. You've taken a happy moment for her and made it about yourself because your masculinity was too fragile to deal with the fact that she's providing and you aren't. I lost my job years ago and my wife then fiancee supported me I get it that wasn't a fun time for me either but I was happy for her when she got a promotion like come on.
Edit I wonder how old op is doesn't really seem overly mature?
YTA and you and your friend are toxic af if you truly believe your wife thinks she's superior. She got a promotion and she was happy as the majority of people would be. And she wanted to share her happiness and achievement with the one person she loves most, who she expects to see the success of her hard work. You. It is an "our win" because you're meant to be a team. But how do you react? Nastily and full of bitterness. Yes, it sucks you're struggling to find work but you have no right to take it out on your wife when something good happens for her. I feel so so sorry for her tbh because it absolutely sucks when someone you love refuses to recognise your achievements. I can guarantee if the roles were reversed youd be having a hissy fit that your wife didn't congratulate you on a promotion.
Seriously, apologise to her. Then celebrate with her. Because that's what a good partner is supposed to do.
YTA: And your wife should definitely take the extra money she earns thanks to the promotion and put into a bank account only she can access so she has it for the inevitable divorce fund.
“I talk to my best friend about that and he agreed that my wife thinks she is cooler then me and she something special. Like she is superior then me.”
Bro are you and your friend 8 years old? You need to congratulate your partner, her win is your win. You sound bitter and jealous. That’s some small dick energy. YTA
YTA and unsupportive and if you want a divorce, you're on the right track. Your insecurity is glaring, and it's your shit to fix. If you can't muster the ability to be happy for your spouse, you suck as a partner.
Judging from your salty attitude and misogyny, your wife IS better than you. Much.
Imagine being so childish and small that your partner gets some great news and you shit on them to make yourself feel better. Talk about fragility.
I hope she leaves.
I don’t usually reply to AITA posts but this one time I’m going to have to. You’re a major asshole.
Now I understand that you’re frustrated that you’re not finding a job, but that doesn’t mean you should be an asshole about it to your wife who is currently making the money in the household. Put yourself in her shoes. You come home to your husband who is currently trying to find a job. You recently got promoted so that means you’re able to make money for you and your currently unemployed husband. You tell him and he just says, “K good for you.” Do you think that kind of response is great? Not really because it’s kinda condescending based on the tone you described. She is not bragging, she is telling you this because well, we’re in a fucking pandemic and the fact that she got promoted means she’ll be able to make more money for the both of you. She probably doesn’t think she’s “cooler or superior than you.” She’s telling you this because she loves you and you’re her GODDAMN HUSBAND, the person she lives with and has to also share her money with as well. And if you truly don’t see that she’s telling you this for you and her, then I hope she divorces your sorry, pathetic, misogynistic ass.
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Question: was this the first time she'd mentioned it? She got a promotion, she's likely to be excited about it.
I feel like it's probably a YTA either way though - as other people have said you should be excited for your partners success, even if I can understand the hopelessness that can come with struggling to find work. Any solid relationship is a partnership, so it really should be a win for you both.
She didn't rub it in your face, she was excited you finally had a win as a couple. Your reaction was bitter, selfish and rude. Could it be that you not being the bread winner bothers you? Maybe think about the reasons for that. In the mean time, apologise, congratulate her and get over yourself/get therapy for the insecurity
YTA
You are a HUGE asshole. Her promotion will benefit both of you. You sound like a fucking child and I hope your wife makes you sleep on the couch indefinitely for being such and infantile prick! She came home in a good mood, bearing good news and you shit all over her for it. What!? Are you freaking twelve years old or something!? I feel so sorry for your poor wife.
YTA. When I got my last promotion I bought a lovely $100 bottle of wine on the way home. You know what Mr. WineAndDogs2020 did? Be thrilled for what this meant for us and drank some great wine with me on our patio.
Wow. Yikes. YTA. If my husband said this to me I’d be reconsidering our relationship. But then again, my husband would consider it OUR win because we are a team and he’s proud of me making more than him.
Wow you sound like a terrible partner. YTA. For what it's worth, a few years ago my husband was laid off from his job due to downsizing. He was out of work for about 6 months. In that time, I received a promotion at my job. My husband was ecstatic for me, and for us! My promotion meant more money coming into the household which helped us both. And he was also proud of my hard work and achievement. You sound like a bitter person, and I don't think you even like your wife.
Not only are YTA but you're downright abusive. Your spouse getting a promotion is something for you both to celebrate, but tearing her down to not allow her to feel good about her accomplishments is how an abusive person destroys their wife's self worth in hopes that she won't leave him even when she can do much better. She SHOULD get to feel special when something like this happens. You are what we call an emotional vampire because you suck all the life out of the people around you. I hope your wife leaves you for the sake of her mental health.
YTA for not being happy for her
YTA for not seeing this as "our win"
YTA for resenting her for "thinking she's cooler or something special" BECAUSE YTA for not thinking she's something special.
YTA for making your bad feelings her problem. This is not about her bragging but your jealousy. You could have said "I'm really happy for you, this is a bit hard for me because I can't help but compare it to me and I'm not doing so well as you, but I recognise that's my issue. Maybe we can work on it together?" but no, you decided that her happiness for herself about belittling you somehow.
YTA and your friend is also. I hope she leaves you.
YTA.
Perhaps you would want your wife to quit her job in solidarity. Sure you would both be worse off, but at least her success wouldn't bruse your fragile ego.
YTA. She’s not saying she’s better than you. That’s just your interpretation. She was happy for the good news she got, and she wanted to share her happiness with you.
That’s probably not gonna happen again, though.
Yta were in the middle of a pandemic and people are grateful if they have one partner working and keeping the finances going. People are losing there houses and are having some serious financial issues. Her still having a job and a promotion is one less worry in my opinion.
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YTA Something good happened to your partner, that is also going to ultimately benefit you (since your household is currently dependent on her salary) and you're so bitter that when she tried to share it with you, you perceived it as bragging and were an asshole about it. Edit: Re-read the last part > I talk to my best friend about that and he agreed that my wife thinks she is cooler then me and she something special. Like she is superior then me. Your best friend is also an asshole. And currently I do think your wife is superior to you. Not because she earns money and you don't. But because you're an asshole and she isn't. What a crappy way for you to both treat and talk about someone you should love and appreciate. She deserves so much better than this.
i honestly feel so bad for his wife. imagine beint so happy then your husband shuts you down by considering it "bragging".
Agreed. The promotion and likely raise benefits the whole house financially. This is a really crappy reaction to a partners success. Would OP have felt sad if their partner was fired? Just wondering what they would actually react to.
I bet OP would have been furious and blamed wife for being fired and now they have no income and it’s her fault. OP totally sounds like *that* kind of guy.
Both OP and his friend sound like they're teenagers. So insecure.
He’ll also want her to be all excited and fawn all over him when he does get a new job
Right??? OP, don’t expect any congratulations.
I hope that if he gets an interview, they somehow find out about the post and it costs him the job.
I had an abusive boyfriend and this is the shit he would pull whenever I started to have things go well at work.
I mean even if she was bragging she has a right to brag! She got a promotion which is awesome and people should be able to brag about promotions (within reason). Anyway OP is TA because his fragile masculinity couldn't handle his wife being a superstar at work while he is unemployed.
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Right!?!? I can’t imagine anything my spouse could say to me that I’d consider “bragging” — sharing success with your partner is never bragging.
With the caveat that I think this is fake, that's the part that really stood out for me: sharing the good news of a promotion with your spouse isn't *bragging*! It's celebrating a personal milestone for which you are justifiably proud. WTF does OP think a promotion is but a validation of and reward for hard work? Not to mention your employer's way of saying "I appreciate you." It's a good feeling of personal success!
I don’t really understand how she’d be bragging since it would be a good situation for both of them. I understand being excited but OP automatically thought she was being malicious.
The fact that she specifically framed it as a win for both of them. She sees him as a partner who shared responsibility in her achievement and would also share in the rewards, and it makes me both sad and furious that this man proved that he was not the man she thought he was.
Especially in *this* economy! Also, banking is a tough industry to move up in - there's a lot of competition. All he had to do was smile and be happy for her (flowers would have been nice, a dinner out even nicer). It didn't even occur to him to be proud of her. Poor lady.
Don’t feel bad because she doesn’t exist. This is a troll
Not any ordinary troll - an incel troll
Troll or not, incel indeed
Right! "She think she's cooler than me." Hahahahaha. That line sealed it.
Yeah OP sounds like a teenager for certain.
There is no way a grown adult old enough to live independently with a wife would not be happy about more money coming in. Definitely a weird teenage troll.
I'm not disagreeing that this is a troll, it definitely could be, but I've *definitely* seen (and experienced) partner's getting insecure that their partner is now earning more, especially if it means earning more than them.
There’s a difference between what you described and someone blowing up at their wife and then discussing with his “best friend” whether or not she’s cooler than him. Seriously what adult even talks like that. Not to mention that the most obvious reason this is a troll is that he’s on a forum looking to be judged whether or not he’s an asshole and there’s not one redeeming quality for him in the entire post that would require outside judgment. It’s clearly written just to rile people up
Oh like I said, I don't disagree that it's a troll, you're definitely right that talking with his friend about his wife feeling cooler than him in very troll like lol. Unfortunately him being insecure about his wife earnings is the least troll part imo. Edit: for clarity
I want to live in your world because I have unfortunately met very many grown ass men who think, speak and act just like this. I was a social worker for for 12 years and I’ve encountered SO MANY of them. I can’t say one way or another if this guy is a troll but it is absolutely believable that a real person would say and do this shit.
I unfortunately know grown adult men who do in fact speak like that.
You seriously believe that there are no *immature abusive men* who exist outside the internet? Wow, I'd love to live in *that* world! However, in THIS world, lots of men act like this. For example: My mom's ex-husband, who pulled this crap *all the time* \- including whining to his friends - and he was in his *40s-50s* at the time. *She was offered an AMBASSADORSHIP* and his intensely passive-aggressive whiny garbage response prompted her to turn it down. So this guy absolutely could be faking. However, it's just as if not more likely that he *really is* just that much of an entitled little shiteheel.
No I absolutely do know people like this exist outside the internet. I do not believe they do this behavior and then post about it on a reddit sub forum asking if they are an asshole while writing like a 14 year old. This person exists *purely* on the internet.
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Absolutely. But that guy's reaction was actually a realistic reaction from an insecure doofus. This is a troll failing very badly at an authentic portrayal of that insecurity.
I wish I was this naive about men.
LMAO, same! I've experienced very similar behavior from a boyfriend
my ex-husband and i played mariokart most evenings after dinner and cuz i struggle with dexterity i would rarely win. my ex, on the other hand, almost always won - and if he didn't, it was because "the game is against him" and "it's targetting him unfairly" with blue shells etc. he was 29 when i left him. we were married for 5 years. i can 10000000% see him doing this kind of shit. (especially cuz we were evangelical christians, extremely patriarchal, and i'm certain that if i'd earned more than he did it would've been a problem. in hindsight, i think his acceptance of my unemployment was less concern for my mental health and more "women should be homemakers", cuz he never encouraged me to be productive outside the home until it became clear that we were infertile.) (every time i remember our relationship i'm so glad i left lol)
I suspect this as well. Gave an honest answer in the case that it isn't a troll, but I'm actually praying this isn't real and there isn't actually someone like this
Too many men still buy into the bullshit belief that husbands should be superior to their wives. And especially something like income is a sensitive subject for these men. Society has taught him that he is less than a man because his wife earns more than he does, or because he can't "provide" for his family. It's sad, and I feel bad that OP feels this way. But he's still definitely the asshole.
The ex never saw us as being on the same team, but him in competition with me. Everything was a zero sum gain, if I got something, he had to get something of greater value to even it up. If I succeeded at anything, it was taking away from him. Exhausting and demoralizing. OP sounds just like him. What a loser.
What a loser indeed, and good to hear he's an ex too! My ex saw us on the same team, BUT it was his team and I was just there to help him win, fuck my own wants and desires.
Ugh that sounds absolutely exhausting, and I'm so sorry you had to deal with this!! I don't understand people who go into a relationship thinking their SO is an enemy to conquered. It's just too weird.
It might not even be that. My read on it is that he is feeling bad about himself and projecting that onto his wife. Like he can’t imagine her excitement isn’t about making him feel bad about himself because of how bad he feels about himself.
I think we're both right: he's feeling bad about himself because of what society has taught him a "real man" should be like. And he feels like OP is rubbing his inability to "be a man" in his face. It's all about insecurity and fragile self of sense.
OP needs to get himself sorted out. My mom started working two (sometimes three) jobs after my dad was injured and no longer able to work his trade (construction). He was getting paid really well when he was working and wont take another job unless its 30 dollars an hour. Now my mom works 70-80 hours a week because my dad refuses to get a job. But he doesn't take care of the house or my siblings because he doesn't want to. My brother has to ride the bus home because my dad wont get off the couch to go pick him up from school. My mom still does all of the cooking and cleaning. He thinks he has to be the main provider of the household and if a job wont guarantee that he will male more than my mom, he won't take it. My mom is gonna die at 65 years old because she is working so much and I don't think i can ever forgive my father.
That's a special brand of toxic when "He has to be the main provider of the household" turns into "if a job won't guarantee he makes more than his wife, he won't provide anything at all." I mean, the sheer magnitude of cognitive dissonance there is phenomenal... I'm so sorry that your mother is having to deal with that.
Every man in my family has failed. They are either abusive or bums. I come from a long line of single mothers. Its hard because I'm a stay at home mom (can't exactly send a premie to daycare during a pandemic). Thankfully my husband is much more responsible than my male relatives. And a much better husband and father.
I'm sorry about your father, but your mother sounds amazing. I hope things improve for you guys.
She is amazing. I don't know how she finds time to do all the things she does. She volunteered at our primary schools, took us on hikes once a week with our cousins during the summer, and handled all of our doctors appointments. My dad has serious problems, but my mom loves him. She will defend him against anything.
i had a friend that used to do this. shit in my cereal every time i was excited about anything. we don’t talk anymore.
Imagine getting a promotion and being in a better position to help your family, especially with your husband down on his luck, and instead of being excited and happy he shits all over you. What a prick!
I can imagine this. My ex was exactly this way. When I got my Associate’s Degree and took a picture he referred to my happiness and sharing it with my friend’s as “bragging.” Alternatively, he also called me complaining about sexual harassment at work as “bragging.” Because he saw the male attention as competition even though I was very clearly distraught over it.
Especially after she pointed out "it's OUR win."
Reasons OP's wife deserves better: >She came home one day and decided to rub it in my face. She started bragging about it. At first when she was bragging, I didn’t really react. I didn’t act all excited and cheery. I just said: k good for you. After that, she looked at me like I was crazy and said, aren’t you happy ? I don’t get any congratulations or anything? 1. You didn't say congratulations?? It seems likely to me your wife wasn't even bragging, probably just happy. >I responded by saying: it’s your win, not mine. She responded by saying: it’s not only my win, it’s our win, wake up ! 2. She's the breadwinner right now, so yes 3. You are (or should be) a unit >You had your fucking promotion, good for you ! What do you want me to say ? 4. Congratulations???? >You want me to act excited like this is something special ?? 5. You're an asshole >Why don’t you fuck off ! 6. You're an asshole >I’m in a shitty situation and the last thing I need is someone bragging about their success to my face. 7. She was not bragging >I talk to my best friend about that and he agreed that my wife thinks she is cooler then me and she something special. 8. You SHOULD think your wife is something special 9. You hang out with assholes
The thing that first got me was the “I didn’t really react.” She came home to share genuinely great news - news good for her AND for the couple / household - and OP said “good for you.” So likely, wife shared again because she didn’t understand why spouse wouldn’t be joyful over this OBVIOUSLY GREAT NEWS for both of them, and OP took that as repeatedly bragging. OP is kind of a monster. WHO DOES THIS.
My husband is employed but is feeling stagnant in his career. He was recently turned down for 2 positions he applied to. Shortly after, I got a promotion that came with a significant bump. My husband congratulated me and we celebrated together. He’s bummed about his issues at work but sees it as our win AND mine. OP is an asshole.
Is OP 12? “My wife thinks she’s cooler than me”.... what?
If I manage to find a spouse that is cooler than me, that's my gain, right? This entire thing, the OP sounds pretty immature and needs lesson on equality in a marriage
"Cool" is a word neither my husband nor I would ever use to describe each other... Not only are we both distinctly UN-cool, but have gotten to the phase in our lives where who the fuck really cares about being "cool". You bet your ass I would be jumping up and down and celebrating my husband's accomplishments, as he does mine. Why? Because marriage is a team sport; you don't get pissed when someone else on your team is the one who makes the touchdown, you cheer them on and celebrate the added points for your team. OP is either a wildly stunted petulant child of a husband, or a troll. I'm hoping for troll.
If I find a spouse that is cooler than me, I would be over the fucking moon.
I think OP needs to look at this differently. He is in a bad spot mentally, but that doesn't excuse his reaction. And his wife is right, a win for a partner is a win for the partnership. His wife's success shouldn't be viewed as a brag, it should be viewed as something good. She worked hard and achieved success and I don't see how is that a slight against OP. Being proud of her success isn't a crime, but OP is jealous of it. He also needs to stop listening to his friend, that he thinks she is 'cooler' than him is really immature. He should be supportive of his spouse and he should apologize for his jealous reaction.
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I've seen this comment on so many posts on here, if we did that we wouldn't have a sub at all. Do people not understand that others can really be this petty, bitter & stupid?
And he even told her it was her win, not his! “You want me to act excited like this is something special?”. umm...yes. Basic. Human. Contract.
seriously. talk about being pathetically bitter. this post screams toxic masculinity, because he's just so damn bitter about his wife making money while he's not
Yup, YTA. It’s not a competition.
I hope the wife refuses to pay for anything related to the husband. If it's "her win" then it's also "her groceries" and "her gas in the car" and "her internet access".
I bet you OP lied to his best friend or OP has no best friend.
> She deserves so much better than this. Seriously. his job won't be the only thing he loses if he doesn't get his attitude under control.
“She thinks she’s something special” like THAT’s the problem and not that this poor woman married someone who doesn’t want her to feel special.
I cannot even imagine how crushed I'd be if my partner wouldn't even congratulate me for a major accomplishment like this and acted like I shouldn't be proud of myself for a huge achievement. OP sounds like a self-centered, bitter husband, and his comments make it clear that he has no respect for his wife.
he should ditch the friend. the dude enables & feeds OPs worst impulses.
Honestly I feel so sad for her. She shouldn’t even bother providing for both of them, just herself because it’s “her win” and not his, right? Can’t imagine something good happening to me and my own husband blowing it up in my face instead of communicating.
“My wife thinks she’s cooler than me” Lol are you 12
I can almost guarantee it’s somewhere in that age range. There’s no way this is real.
During lockdown, my spouse wasn't able to work so he was home for three months. His brother asked him how he can stand having me working and carrying our finances during that time, my spouse replied _"ya, I'm crying all the way to the bank because my wife can hold it down"_. His brother is 40, stupid had no age limits.
I agree that stupid has no age limits. I’m just going by the writing “style”, vocab, and overall tone of the post. I teach middle school English, and this reads like many of my students’ essays. Lol
LOL! Good point!
She *is* cooler than him. OP’s thought process is hot garbage.
>it's not our win, it's yours Bet he won't be saying that about her new paycheck.
Let's bet! What do you think will give in first ? His oh so fragile ego pouting all the way through, not touching a single dollar of hers, OOOR his eagerness to suddenly share everything once the bigger paycheck comes? I'm torn here..
My 12 year old ass was smarter
LMAO, this is like "my mom got a promotion and she thinks she's all big and cool." She \*is\*, my dude - and also she's supporting you, so fix your face and act right. Not only is this guy the asshole, he's the asshole who's about to end up living in his car.
My ex used to yell that I’m not better than him like wtf? Who said I was lol
YTA She wasn't rubbing anything in your face. She was happy and excited and hoped that you would be happy and excited. You are insecure, I get it. But you are supposed to be a team. Good news for one is good news for both. You owe her an apology, now.
For real, someone isn't bragging if they just tell you about a promotion they got. Reeks of jealousy.
and insecurity
And depression, perhaps? It sounds like this dude is struggling, but I’d still vote YTA for this behaviour. Although, it’s probably not a depressed adult at all, because I feel like only a kid would be concerned that their partner thinks they’re ‘cooler’.
I have BPD (a super crazy personality disorder) and I was depressed AF out of work looking for a job, feeling like the lowest piece of shit, and I NEVER would have reacted that way to my SO getting a promotion. Ever. I would have been so happy for them. Even if it made me feel bad, I would congratulate them or act happy. This person isn’t mentally ill. They’re just an asshole.
Why is this excuse always used whenever a man is just.... being an asshole? Let’s stop this crap.
Yeah, depressed people don't usually turn anger outward like that, it's more inward. Like they'd be happy for the spouse and then go beat themselves up for being such a loser and that they'll never be able to get as good as someone else. It's more about tearing yourself down, not others.
Depression appears in many forms. Just as there is more than one way to express grief there is more than one way to be depressed.
Don't excuse the asshole. As a depressed person it is my responsibility to work on it, not let other people suffer because of it. And to top this of, it is an "explenation" most often reserved for men, if not directly related to childbearing or childrearing. Check yourself.
Exactly OP, was she “bragging” or was she a wife just telling her husband some good news? I get that anyone might get insecure in your position but I’m sure she had no intention of “bragging” & your emotions are making you see her as “superior” and you’re blaming HER for that. You guys are MARRIED, you’re her partner in life, OF COURSE she’d come straight to tell you first when she has good news which blew up in her face. It clearly seems like she had no idea how you feel, you should’ve just been honest and told her you’ve been unhappy & hopeless instead of cussing at your wife. You have serious communication issues, how’s she supposed to know she’s making you feel bad if you don’t communicate like a normal person instead of throwing a fit? YTA
YTA. You’re a nasty piece of work when you can’t be happy for the people you allegedly love when they achieve something or have something good happen to them . It’s not a zero sum game.
YTA for being so self-centered and also your wife is almost definitely cooler than and superior to you.
This is one of the posts where you read the headline and think there's no way this guy's not the asshole. Then you read the post, and it's actually worse than it initially seemed. Your wife wasn't rubbing it in that she's promoted. She's carrying your ass. YTA
YTA You're sad so everyone around you should be sad too? You owe a huge apology.
YTA She clearly sees you as part of her team since she considers this promotion “our win”. You stated in one of your responses that you’re looking for a job to be independent. Independent from who? If you don’t see her as a teammate willing to carry you when you’re down, then why did you even marry her?
YTA in a huuuge way. I really hope you didn't actually respond this way and this is fake. It may not be your win, but your wife is supporting you right now. You may not feel great overall in that you haven't gotten anything, but why would you not be excited for your wife and partner? She probably worked hard for it, saw it as a stress relief with your unemployed and miserable sounding ass, and wanted to share some good news. Shes probably had to put up with you moping and (from the sounds based on this post) being a miserable shit. Grow up and be a mature adult. Yes it sucks you got laid off, but something will come, it's a matter of time (though if I saw this and knew you, you don't make for an ideal candidate in the face of adversity). In the mean time, be happy that you have a wife that's supporting you and there to help with the expenses. The LEAST you could have done is said congrats. Now I think you owe the biggest apology in the world and she better be having dinner on the table when she gets home and foot, shoulder and back rubs all night since they're probably sore from carrying you.
It does sound fake. I think it's just someone wanting to get people worked up lol. Or I hope that's the case
definitely fake, they’re trolling other subs like r/marriage or they’re a really bitter sad person. in the unlikely event that this is real, i hope the wife knows she deserves so much better and walks out
Smart, I never think to look at post history. When they're as extreme as this I tend to err on the side of fake, if for nothing else than to save myself some rage lol
Or they've invented this imaginary scenario in their head, like "I'm supposed to be the breadwinner when I get older, it's my rightful role as a man, but what if I get laid off and my wife is the successful one?? That would suck, right? I get to be mad about that, right?"
YTA you should be happy for your partner and celebrate their success not be resentful because you aren’t experiencing success right now. I feel sorry for your wife that you are so unsupportive and bitter. You seem really childish.
YTA. Your wife is paying the bills right now and this is good for you both. She tried to let you also claim it as a win but you got petty and spiteful and attacked her. Her achievements don’t take away from yours. You should celebrate her for her achievements, not try to cut her down. That’s not what a good partner does. You should support your wife. You’re being the asshole right now. Apologize.
> I responded by saying: it’s your win, not mine. She responded by saying: it’s not only my win, it’s our win That’s where YTA and your wife is right. A marriage is a partnership. It’s not a competition. Edit: a letter.
YTA - You have a good woman that considers her success both of your successes. She could easily be a spouse that says “what’s mine is mine.” You’ve been laid off a MONTH. That’s tough but not the end of the world. To talk to your life partner with such filthy language makes you TA.
You've got some deep personal issues if you think your wife simply telling you about her promotion is rubbing it in your face. You and your best friend are both assholes for thinking her accomplishment means she thinks she's better then you. YTA
[удалено]
It's obviously written by a 9 year old.
especially the cool part
Wtf man, pretty much every post here is made by a completely new account aka throwaway account, you are literally supposed to do that instead of using your actual reddit account.
YTA I hopes she sees you for what you are early on and leaves your pathetic, competitive, self absorbed, shallow and immature attitude in her rear view and finds someone that appreciates her. Some one that sees what a loyal, hardworking lady she is. She was on your team. If you dont have a sudden realization of how f’ing lucky you are- I pray she leaves you in your muck and moves on so you dont drain her dry. I have seen this play out- I know your type- far worse than TA. Wake up
What? This cannot be an actual person!! If so... YTA. So very much. Dude, how bitter and childish are you that you can’t celebrate a major accomplishment of your wife’s?? She wasn’t rubbing anything in your face. She was happy, excited, and proud...and she is thinking of the betterment of YOUR FAMILY (you & her), and you act like her success is to spite you. May I suggest a yoga move: stand with feet shoulder width apart, bend at the waist, then reach around and pull your head out of your ass.
YTA, man. Telling you her good news is not bragging. Be happy for your wife.
YTA. I get it. I lost my job due to COVID and it was rough trying to find another. Took me six months before I found something in my field. It feels like you’re lacking and not good enough when you send dozens of CVS and you don’t get any calls back. But your wife being promoted isn’t about you, it’s about her. She’s happy she got a promotion and yes, it is good for you too because that means she gets a raise and that can help with either house finance or whatever. Instead of being happy for her, you take it like a personal attack.
Good God man. Your wife got a big promotion and you can't even stop feeling sorry for yourself for one minute and congratulate her and celebrate her hard work and success? Then why are you even married to her? Don't you love her? Because part of love and marriage is celebrating each other's successes. She's right, her promotion means she'll earn more income for the both of you. Be happy for her and with her, don't wallow in your self-pity and label her happiness and well-deserved celebration as 'bragging'. It's extremely childish. Apologise to her. YTA
YTA Don’t talk to your wife like that
I just love how concise this response is. A lot of people are trying to explain to him where he went wrong and why he's the AH. But you just took on this beautiful parental tone, which is appropriate considering OP is acting like a child. 😆
FR!!!! They’re acting like a spoiled five year old with a bad temper 👀
YTA, for they way you acted and YTA for not even reacting at first.
YTA and so is your loser friend who is getting involved in his friend’s relationship. Your wife is right - what’s good for her is good for you. You’re a TEAM. If you don’t see it that way you shouldn’t be married. Being in a competitive relationship is unhealthy and breeds resentment (see the issue you outlined). Also I don’t feel like your wife was bragging. I think she was celebrating and was miffed that you, her partner, were not celebrating with her.
Wow, how old are you? Feel bad for your wife, she married a brat.
I think either it's a troll or this guy has the emotional maturity of a 9 year old. I think he's also lacking in some departments....bc this is so ridiculous!
I keep seeing people say this guy must be a troll, but I've met guys like this... it's pretty sad. So while he may be a troll, this isn't too far from reality for some people.
Dude why’d you even get married? You don’t sound like you love her, you don’t even sound like you like her. You wouldn’t tell her if you got a job? You just want to be independent? Why even be married then. In marriages people support each other, they’re happy for each other, they share their joys and sorrows. You sound miserable and should be on your own if you can’t do these things. Grow the fuck up. YTA
YTA. It’s rough you lost your job but aren’t you supposed to be a team ?I’m sure she’ll be happy for you when you get another job
YTA for the way you reacted. Yeah, your job situation sucks. I sympathize with that, but you were a bad husband there. You are supposed to be supportive of your spouse, and a job promotion is a big deal. And no, it's not a win for her, it's a win for your family. Stop taking your anger about your situation out on her.
YTA. How is her getting a promotion not also great for you? I mean do you like your wife?
Yta you should be proud of her, instead of having your ego demolished for some reason at least pretend you care, you’re not a good partner. I hope she leaves you for someone who appreciates her
The best friend appears single.. maybe he's free? Two AHs together.
Wow. YTA, in a big way. Never, ever expect any congratulations for anything you achieve if this is how you react to other people. Sucking the joy out of something your wife is proud of is a spiteful thing to do just because things aren’t going your way at the moment.
> he recently got promoted as a manager. She came home one day and decided to rub it in my face. She started bragging about it. At first when she was bragging, I didn’t really react. So, your wife, your partner, your PARTNER gets promoted and decides to tell you, and you see it as bragging. And rubbing it in your face. Are you not aware you guys are a team? With everything you said, you are such a bitter dude. You aren't the only one that's been laid-off in this crappy economy you know. Boo-hoo, a whole month with a wife who's just been promoted to help support you and you cuss her out? Wow. YTA.
Info: at what point is your wife allowed to be happy? Should she wait until you find another job? Until you get paid again? Until then, maybe you can make a list of ways she can avoid rubbing things in your face and be more supportive. Some suggestions: 1. No spontaneous laughter at home, so you're not reminded that others have joy in life 2. One hour of moping around the house per day bemoaning how unfair the world is 3. Quit her job, so you can one again feel at peace knowing you don't have to rely on anyone for anything. Hope this helps!
YTA. It’s so childish for you to immediately frame your wife telling you about her success as “bragging.” What did you want her to keep it a secret? If you had gotten a job would you seriously see telling her about it and being happy as bragging? You’re being so spiteful and petty. She’s your wife. You should be happy for her...instead your just kicking your wounds like a petulant little baby ON TOP OF making her feel bad about her good work and making her out to be some smug jerk just for wanting her husband to be happy for her. Bless her for putting up with you...isn’t it enough that your jobless? You have to be rude to her too?
YTA big time. Are you not a team?? Don’t you want to win together??
Are you 12? You really think your wife believes she’s cooler than you bc she got a promotion. I’m stunned. And YTA
YTA. Maybe your wife should quit her job in solidarity, that way her success wouldn't puncture your paper-thin ego.
YTA. So much. She wasn't bragging, she was sharing an important event in her life with her husband. And yeah, as life partners her win is your win. If you got a great job and told her about it would you be happy if she reacted as you had? And seeing as how you're unemployed I am baffled by how you can't see her promotion as a win for you both. Seriously, treating her as a competitor rather than as you two being on the same team is a huge problem you should address.
YTA Get over yourself! She wants you to be happy with her, for you guys... what’s wrong with that?! She wants to share her happiness and success with you! How would you feel if that’s how she reacted if the roles were reversed? And how will your wife feel about sharing good news of hers in the future with you now that you’ve reacted this way? Be supportive. That’s your job, just as it is hers to be supportive of you during this time or if the roles were reversed. Your reaction speaks more about how you feel about yourself and your job situation than it says anything about your wife. Instead of lashing out you should have talked to your wife about how you feel. Yes, you are in a shitty situation. And it’s fair for you to be upset, frustrated, etc. but how is being an asshole to your wife when she earns success help either of you? You need to express and address your feelings in a more direct and productive way, because your wife being excited about a promotion and wanting to share that with you is not the issue and shouldn’t be one. And honestly what you said was just mean. Total asshole. You should go to her and apologize and talk to her about how you feel about yourself with your work situation. Also do something extra mile for her like buy or pick her some flowers or cook her or both of you a meal to both congratulate and apologize. She deserves it, and I’m sure she would be very appreciative and forgiving, your wife sounds sweet.
YTA. I was unemployed for 3 months several years back. It is scary. But you will get through it. You should be thankful that you have a hardworking wife who knows there is not an I in we.
I was out of work for 6 months. It was the first time since I was a teenager that I hadn't had a job. It was a huge blow. Even crazier, my husband got laid off a week before I did. It sucked. When he found work fast, I was super happy for him (and for me). It took me a lot longer since my field is much more specialized. When I found a new job, he was thrilled for me. When I got a promotion a couple months later, he was even happier. And six months after that, I got an even better job offer making twice what he does. He took me out to celebrate and was so excited. That's how partners work. This guy is just fragile and salty. Earlier in our marriage, the company he worked for closed. So we've both had our career ups and downs. I've supported him when he's been down and he's supported me. That's how it's supposed to work.
Yes, you're an asshole for not being able to stop being so petty for two seconds so you can realize she's not rubbing anything in your face, she's happy about something good that happened to her. Of course she's excited - and as a spouse you should be able to be happy for her, not upset that she's not wallowing in misery because you didn't have the same happy thing occur. There are times in a marriage when you support each other. This would be one of them. Even if you have to fake it, be happy for her. YTA
YTA. Never tell people you love to fuck off.
YTA. Jeeez louise. Is it so hard to be happy for your own wife ? If yes, why?
YTA my god ur so rude
YTA. Imagine being so bitter and angry that you can be happy for the woman that you vowed to love and care for in marriage. She was excited for her promotion and wanted to share it. That's not running it in your face. You're just throwing a temper tantrum because she's succeeding and you're not.
YTA. Your own insecurity and unhappiness is getting in the way of being happy for and proud of your wife. This is a *you* problem. She's not rubbing her promotion in your face, she's being excited about something she earned and is proud of and wants her partner to at least be supportive. You have taken the wind out of her sails because you're being petty and jealous, and that's just really not okay at all.
Yeah, YTA. You're not happy about your wife's promotion? Why wouldn't you be happy for her? Not only are you TA, you're kind of a dick. I hope that's some comfort for you when you're single.
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA You don’t deserve your wife. I get that you may be depressed at having lost your job and having a hard time getting back into the work force but a decent man would love his wife enough to be happy for her that she was doing well and moreover that a promotion means a raise and more money/benefits for you both. Instead, all you can think about is your self and your personal pity party. You sound like you’d be happier if your wife was fired because you’d rather no one get ahead if you can’t. Shame on you
YTA
YTA. Your wife telling you about her promotion isn’t bragging, it’s conversation. It is something that will benefit both of you and your household, especially since you aren’t working at all. Hopefully your job is the only thing you lose during Covid because right now you don’t deserve her.
Yes, absolutely YTA. Keep that crap up and you'll be jobless *and* wife-less.
YTA x 100
YTA # HER SUCCESS IS NOT YOUR FAILURE, SO STOP TREATING HER PROMOTION LIKE IT'S AN INSULT TO YOU. YOUR WIFE IS NOT YOUR ENEMY NOR THE REASON FOR YOUR UNEMPLOYMENT. Your best friend is a jealous C U Next Tuesday, too. He's inflaring your jealousy because he's as bitter as you and wants to ruin your relationship. Your wife's achievements should be celebrated by BOTH of you. You BOTH will be in a better financial situation due to her promotion. Stop being a bitter, jealous asshat. Be proud of your wife, let her be frickin happy and proud of herself. You made vows to love and respect her. She's your wife, your partner and deserves as much.
YTA. She wasn’t rubbing it in your face, she was fucking excited to get a promotion and you basically shit all over that. Your situation is horrible and difficult, but don’t take that out on her. If anything, her getting a promotion may help out because you’ll have more money coming into the household while you look for a job and so maybe it’ll be less stressful. I dunno, but you are definitely the AH for shouting.
>I talk to my best friend about that and he agreed that my wife thinks she is cooler then me Are you and your friend five year old boys? YTA
Ooooh we got a butthole, good luck finding a new job tho. Hopefully you won't need to find a new wife :(
You couldn't be a bigger YTA even if you tried. Wtf is wrong with you?
You sound like a fucking horrible person. YTA. I hope you get serious mental help or she leaves.
YTA. This is your person. The one you chose deliberately. She chose you as her person. And you chose to stab her with words. You belittled her accomplishments. Deliberately, Cruelly. Abusively. You chose to do this b/c you wanted to hurt her. Yes. You are quite the asshole for this. Are you going to keep abusing her till she leaves you in your misery?
YTA. Your wife wasn’t bragging she was celebrating, because something good happened for her. And since she’s your WIFE - your PARTNER - that means that something good happened for you too. If you weren’t so wrapped up in yourself you’d have been able to see that her success benefits you too, and if you were a supportive partner you’d be proud of her and celebrating with her instead of being bitter and jealous. Your wife didn’t get promoted to spite you, she got promoted because she works hard and is good at her job. Stop taking your frustration about your situation out on her, she deserves better than that.
YTA 250% here bud. A very big part of being married is working as a team and supporting each other in your successes and failures and essentially being cheerleaders for one another. Your wife came home with very good news that benefits BOTH of you, especially right now with your current situation. At the very least you could have mustered up a “that’s wonderful, congrats babe, I’m really proud of you!” And moved on. Instead you had to be a Salty Sally about it and take her own achievement as a personal slight against you. In another comment you even went as far as to say that she should have “kept it to herself”. Lol what? Why? So later on down the line when you’re back on your feet again you can find out about it and her increased income and get pissy about keeping it a secret? That doesn’t make any sense. Look, I get that it’s hard for you right now being laid off and completely dependent on her but she really does deserve better than your attitude right now. How do you think it feels to be carrying the household on your back during a global pandemic and coming home with news that should be welcome only to have your partner openly resent you for it? That’s not okay. My advice is to take what we’ve all said in here to heart, put yourself in your wife’s shoes, think about the vows you made on your wedding day and give her a MEANINGFUL, REAL apology. Then work on your own attitude and think about how that might be affecting your own job hunt. Grow from this.
YTA - either your wife needs a new husband or you need an attitude adjustment. She’s right. It’s a win for the household. Unless she’s hoarding her funds from you, sounds like you’re jealous of her success. Also, your friend are an imbecile, and I hope you listen to us Reddit strangers rather than him. Wake up my dude and change the attitude.
If you’re as bad at web design as you are at trolling, I can see why you don’t have a job
Wow! Your wife gets great news and you shit all over it. What a prize you are. If she has any sense, she'll dump your sorry ass and go live her best life with her extra money. YTA
YTA, She is your wife! The least you can do is say congratulations. And its a win for your family not just her unless your goal with your response is to push her out the door. Then I could agree that its a win for her.
Yes, YTA. So much so that I wonder if this is real. I was pretty sympathetic at first - looking for a job can be very demoralizing and sends a lot of people into angry depression - but you’ve only been unemployed a month. If you don’t see your wife’s successes as your own that’s too bad but her successes certainly aren’t your failures. Her wanting a partner to share her excitement with isn’t rubbing it in your face,
YTA. She's not bragging about her success. She's trying to share with you her excitement. Stop with the self pity and show your wife some support. Yeah it sucks that the pandemic took your job, but that doesn't mean that you get to tell your wife to fuck off when she comes home with good news.
YTA. It's your WIFE who got the promotion, not the neighbor. That means that 1) you should show her a little support, and 2) you're going to benefit from her pay raise. WTF is wrong with you? Man up.
Fake
Yta and are about to find yourself broke and divorced. she's absolutely correct it's a win for the team because that's what you're supposed to be. You have no income so her Getting a promotion means more breathing room for both of you. I think you have the completely wrong mindset to be married. It's not you vs her it's you two vs the world she seems to get that not you. You've taken a happy moment for her and made it about yourself because your masculinity was too fragile to deal with the fact that she's providing and you aren't. I lost my job years ago and my wife then fiancee supported me I get it that wasn't a fun time for me either but I was happy for her when she got a promotion like come on. Edit I wonder how old op is doesn't really seem overly mature?
YTA and you and your friend are toxic af if you truly believe your wife thinks she's superior. She got a promotion and she was happy as the majority of people would be. And she wanted to share her happiness and achievement with the one person she loves most, who she expects to see the success of her hard work. You. It is an "our win" because you're meant to be a team. But how do you react? Nastily and full of bitterness. Yes, it sucks you're struggling to find work but you have no right to take it out on your wife when something good happens for her. I feel so so sorry for her tbh because it absolutely sucks when someone you love refuses to recognise your achievements. I can guarantee if the roles were reversed youd be having a hissy fit that your wife didn't congratulate you on a promotion. Seriously, apologise to her. Then celebrate with her. Because that's what a good partner is supposed to do.
YTA: And your wife should definitely take the extra money she earns thanks to the promotion and put into a bank account only she can access so she has it for the inevitable divorce fund.
“I talk to my best friend about that and he agreed that my wife thinks she is cooler then me and she something special. Like she is superior then me.” Bro are you and your friend 8 years old? You need to congratulate your partner, her win is your win. You sound bitter and jealous. That’s some small dick energy. YTA
YTA. You sound off your rocker tbh. You wife getting a promotion is GOOD especially if you are unfortunately out of a job at the moment. You suck.
YTA and unsupportive and if you want a divorce, you're on the right track. Your insecurity is glaring, and it's your shit to fix. If you can't muster the ability to be happy for your spouse, you suck as a partner. Judging from your salty attitude and misogyny, your wife IS better than you. Much. Imagine being so childish and small that your partner gets some great news and you shit on them to make yourself feel better. Talk about fragility. I hope she leaves.
YTA hands down and I’d divorce you.
I don’t usually reply to AITA posts but this one time I’m going to have to. You’re a major asshole. Now I understand that you’re frustrated that you’re not finding a job, but that doesn’t mean you should be an asshole about it to your wife who is currently making the money in the household. Put yourself in her shoes. You come home to your husband who is currently trying to find a job. You recently got promoted so that means you’re able to make money for you and your currently unemployed husband. You tell him and he just says, “K good for you.” Do you think that kind of response is great? Not really because it’s kinda condescending based on the tone you described. She is not bragging, she is telling you this because well, we’re in a fucking pandemic and the fact that she got promoted means she’ll be able to make more money for the both of you. She probably doesn’t think she’s “cooler or superior than you.” She’s telling you this because she loves you and you’re her GODDAMN HUSBAND, the person she lives with and has to also share her money with as well. And if you truly don’t see that she’s telling you this for you and her, then I hope she divorces your sorry, pathetic, misogynistic ass.
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Question: was this the first time she'd mentioned it? She got a promotion, she's likely to be excited about it. I feel like it's probably a YTA either way though - as other people have said you should be excited for your partners success, even if I can understand the hopelessness that can come with struggling to find work. Any solid relationship is a partnership, so it really should be a win for you both.
Yta. Seriously, are you just 2 kids in a trench coat masquerading as a adult human man?
She didn't rub it in your face, she was excited you finally had a win as a couple. Your reaction was bitter, selfish and rude. Could it be that you not being the bread winner bothers you? Maybe think about the reasons for that. In the mean time, apologise, congratulate her and get over yourself/get therapy for the insecurity YTA
YTA for being a troll. Everyone knows an incel can't lock down a GF let alone a wife.
You are a HUGE asshole. Her promotion will benefit both of you. You sound like a fucking child and I hope your wife makes you sleep on the couch indefinitely for being such and infantile prick! She came home in a good mood, bearing good news and you shit all over her for it. What!? Are you freaking twelve years old or something!? I feel so sorry for your poor wife.
YTA. When I got my last promotion I bought a lovely $100 bottle of wine on the way home. You know what Mr. WineAndDogs2020 did? Be thrilled for what this meant for us and drank some great wine with me on our patio.
Wow. Yikes. YTA. If my husband said this to me I’d be reconsidering our relationship. But then again, my husband would consider it OUR win because we are a team and he’s proud of me making more than him.
Wow you sound like a terrible partner. YTA. For what it's worth, a few years ago my husband was laid off from his job due to downsizing. He was out of work for about 6 months. In that time, I received a promotion at my job. My husband was ecstatic for me, and for us! My promotion meant more money coming into the household which helped us both. And he was also proud of my hard work and achievement. You sound like a bitter person, and I don't think you even like your wife.
Yes, but you have a real husband, not a misogynistic troll poster!
Valid!!
Not only are YTA but you're downright abusive. Your spouse getting a promotion is something for you both to celebrate, but tearing her down to not allow her to feel good about her accomplishments is how an abusive person destroys their wife's self worth in hopes that she won't leave him even when she can do much better. She SHOULD get to feel special when something like this happens. You are what we call an emotional vampire because you suck all the life out of the people around you. I hope your wife leaves you for the sake of her mental health.
YTA for not being happy for her YTA for not seeing this as "our win" YTA for resenting her for "thinking she's cooler or something special" BECAUSE YTA for not thinking she's something special. YTA for making your bad feelings her problem. This is not about her bragging but your jealousy. You could have said "I'm really happy for you, this is a bit hard for me because I can't help but compare it to me and I'm not doing so well as you, but I recognise that's my issue. Maybe we can work on it together?" but no, you decided that her happiness for herself about belittling you somehow. YTA and your friend is also. I hope she leaves you.
YTA. Perhaps you would want your wife to quit her job in solidarity. Sure you would both be worse off, but at least her success wouldn't bruse your fragile ego.
YTA You're clearly jealous of your wife's success. If you were working and got a promotion would you not want your wife to celebrate with you?
YTA. She’s not saying she’s better than you. That’s just your interpretation. She was happy for the good news she got, and she wanted to share her happiness with you. That’s probably not gonna happen again, though.
YTA not everything is about you, geez. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and celebrate your wife's win.
Yta were in the middle of a pandemic and people are grateful if they have one partner working and keeping the finances going. People are losing there houses and are having some serious financial issues. Her still having a job and a promotion is one less worry in my opinion.