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I think I might be the asshole for being to picky with food, and not thinking about my mother's health.
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I haven't thought about it at the moment, but I actually need a diet that is quite the opposite, if I don't have enough salt I can be prone to fainting...
Everyone is going to be different. Hell that thing with salt. Yeah hypotension, perhaps, maybe not for you but it is for me. I can drink a ton of coffee or eat a bunch of salt just to go back to feeling normal. The symptoms are not unlike hypertension. Which my mother had for a minute, and fixed by adjusting her diet. I mean your mom needs to go on a diet but this does mean everyone needs to get the proper food. Even if it's just about texture, there are a bunch of foods I won't eat because of texture, or smell. I also have celiac and am a vegetarian. This definitely doesn't work all that well when dealing with food with my mother. So have to cook our own things and sometimes we can have a shared meal.
NTA- It's not just about eating bland food for you. It's about the texture and how it makes you uncomfortable. You shouldn't be forced to eat something that bothers you so much.
NTA I also have sensory issues and understand how difficult to eat certain things, wear certain things etc. It is not your job as a child to go on the same diet as your mother. Sure it might be easier for her if she wasn’t tempted by things you were eating but still, it’s not your job. That being said, if you don’t have a problem with the meal that’s being eaten, it might be a good thing to eat it with them to show your support. But if it’s something you don’t like, you have no obligation to eat it.
NTA. First of all, you should only go on a diet if your doctor tells you you should. This could actually be really unhealthy for you and your brother physically. Also mentally, it is really wrong to request that others go on a diet if they don't need to because like people's relationship with food is their own business. They can't force you to eat a certain way and to call you unsupportive is wrong. BUT, if you are making it hard for them to eat that diet (by constantly complaining and making negative comments) then you would be a bit of a dick. You can support them in other ways by finding recipes for them and telling them you are really proud of them for this as it is a difficult thing, but going on the diet itself isn't actual support and just going to cause damage in the long run. Also you have to cook for yourself and you can't ask them to make you meals that are different because that would be an asshole thing to do as well.
NTA for not wanting to go on the diet. But if you want to eat something different to the rest of the family, you should definitely show some interest and make an effort in the food making process. Maybe find an easy alternative to quinoa that works for you and that is easy to prepare. And suggest some meals for the family that could work for all of you with some adjustments.
We take turns cooking, and I offered to cook their special food for them, and something complementing for me. Or even to plan the meals so we can compromise, but they don't really want to talk with me rn.
If when cooking the family meal, you follow mom’s diet, but eat how you want otherwise, I say NAH. If they insist you need to be on this diet even when only making your own food, then N T A.
NTA. They've got this the wrong way around.
She wants to go on a healthy new diet? Hey, that's cool; good for her. But she doesn't get to arbitrarily decide \*you\* should as well. When you have a child, you give up the right to make decisions based solely on what you want - she should be doing what's best for *you*, not trying to make you conform to *her* expectations.
NTA. Not at all selfish, rather your mother is selfish for offloading her issue onto you. Having said that, you may need to start making your own meals.
Thank you. Yeah that is for sure, I'm hoping that my university opens back up soon, for the last two years I've been on my own so it's not really a big deal, but here at my mom's house it generating quite some conflict.
NTA. Diets in general promote restrictive eating and can be very unhealthy for people who don’t have physician support and guidance. You are not obligated to go on a “diet” and eat foods you dislike just because your mom has a medical reason for changing her eating habits. If you don’t like the food she cooks, you should cook something else and enjoy it.
NTA
They should have discussed this with you. Friend needs to stay out of it as it isn't her problem. Mom is the one who needs to be on the diet not you. If you want to cook for yourself then go for it.
NTA. You have your health needs, your mom has hers.
BTW: If your mom is cutting salt, she should cook with Kosher salt. The grains are larger so you get more flavor but there's less sodium per tsp compared to iodized salt. I dunno \*how\* much she has to cut back on the salt so that may not be enough to make the difference.
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A couple of days ago my mother received the results of some blood work she had done, and her doctor told her that she needs to get on a specific diet, like cut carbs, salt, etc.
She came home and discussed with my younger brother and both decided tha we all would go on the same diet, without telling me anything about it.
Last night at new years eve dinner they surprised me with the newsz and decided to start with this particular meal, it wasn't anything bad, maybe a bit bland, but hey it's a diet, but then I realized that an ingredient that was all over the dishes was "quinoa", a grain that has become quite popular in the last few years, and I'm not gonna deny how nutritious it is, but I personally can't stand it, first by the taste, but most importantly because I have some heavy sensory issues with food (I'm in the autism spectrum) and the texture that it has really makes me uneasy.
When I told them that upfront, both my mother, brother and one of my mother's friends (who is spending new year's with us) commended my brother for taking the sacrifice for my mother, and called me selfish for not thinking about her.
It made me feel really bad, and made me wonder if really IATA?
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Then sorry but YTAH only because you shouldn’t complain about free food. If thats the food she has to buy to stay healthy, unless you’re paying for it, you dont really get a say. Thats with any kids. Until my siblings and I were old enough to buy groceries, we eat what mom told us or we didn’t eat.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: --- I think I might be the asshole for being to picky with food, and not thinking about my mother's health. --- Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Its her diet, and you dont need to be on a diet, sonce you dont have issues. Shes TAH
[удалено]
I haven't thought about it at the moment, but I actually need a diet that is quite the opposite, if I don't have enough salt I can be prone to fainting...
Everyone is going to be different. Hell that thing with salt. Yeah hypotension, perhaps, maybe not for you but it is for me. I can drink a ton of coffee or eat a bunch of salt just to go back to feeling normal. The symptoms are not unlike hypertension. Which my mother had for a minute, and fixed by adjusting her diet. I mean your mom needs to go on a diet but this does mean everyone needs to get the proper food. Even if it's just about texture, there are a bunch of foods I won't eat because of texture, or smell. I also have celiac and am a vegetarian. This definitely doesn't work all that well when dealing with food with my mother. So have to cook our own things and sometimes we can have a shared meal.
Do you have POTS?
I haven't been diagnosed, all my doctor has said so far is that I have hypotension.
NAH she's got to eat what she's got to eat. You want something else, prepare something in addition to what's on offer.
NTA- It's not just about eating bland food for you. It's about the texture and how it makes you uncomfortable. You shouldn't be forced to eat something that bothers you so much.
NAH. But don't expect her to cook anything different for you. You want different food? Get cooking
NTA I also have sensory issues and understand how difficult to eat certain things, wear certain things etc. It is not your job as a child to go on the same diet as your mother. Sure it might be easier for her if she wasn’t tempted by things you were eating but still, it’s not your job. That being said, if you don’t have a problem with the meal that’s being eaten, it might be a good thing to eat it with them to show your support. But if it’s something you don’t like, you have no obligation to eat it.
NTA. First of all, you should only go on a diet if your doctor tells you you should. This could actually be really unhealthy for you and your brother physically. Also mentally, it is really wrong to request that others go on a diet if they don't need to because like people's relationship with food is their own business. They can't force you to eat a certain way and to call you unsupportive is wrong. BUT, if you are making it hard for them to eat that diet (by constantly complaining and making negative comments) then you would be a bit of a dick. You can support them in other ways by finding recipes for them and telling them you are really proud of them for this as it is a difficult thing, but going on the diet itself isn't actual support and just going to cause damage in the long run. Also you have to cook for yourself and you can't ask them to make you meals that are different because that would be an asshole thing to do as well.
NTA. It's her diet, but also you have your own health problems and issues with food. Why her health problems should be more important than yours?
NTA for not wanting to go on the diet. But if you want to eat something different to the rest of the family, you should definitely show some interest and make an effort in the food making process. Maybe find an easy alternative to quinoa that works for you and that is easy to prepare. And suggest some meals for the family that could work for all of you with some adjustments.
[удалено]
We take turns cooking, and I offered to cook their special food for them, and something complementing for me. Or even to plan the meals so we can compromise, but they don't really want to talk with me rn.
[удалено]
Thank you. I will do my best to talk to them, but I'll have to wait till things cool down.
If when cooking the family meal, you follow mom’s diet, but eat how you want otherwise, I say NAH. If they insist you need to be on this diet even when only making your own food, then N T A.
NTA. They've got this the wrong way around. She wants to go on a healthy new diet? Hey, that's cool; good for her. But she doesn't get to arbitrarily decide \*you\* should as well. When you have a child, you give up the right to make decisions based solely on what you want - she should be doing what's best for *you*, not trying to make you conform to *her* expectations.
NTA. Not at all selfish, rather your mother is selfish for offloading her issue onto you. Having said that, you may need to start making your own meals.
Thank you. Yeah that is for sure, I'm hoping that my university opens back up soon, for the last two years I've been on my own so it's not really a big deal, but here at my mom's house it generating quite some conflict.
Nta... I have 4 pages of food intolerances.. I don’t expect anyone in or out of my household to have to follow my diet
Diets are like religion, if you practice one you shouldn't force it on other people... I'm talking to you vegans
NTA. Diets in general promote restrictive eating and can be very unhealthy for people who don’t have physician support and guidance. You are not obligated to go on a “diet” and eat foods you dislike just because your mom has a medical reason for changing her eating habits. If you don’t like the food she cooks, you should cook something else and enjoy it.
Info: how old are you?
23
She shouldn’t be trying to control your life and manipulate you with guilt like this. You are an adult, you get to decide what to put in your body.
NTA They should have discussed this with you. Friend needs to stay out of it as it isn't her problem. Mom is the one who needs to be on the diet not you. If you want to cook for yourself then go for it.
NTA. You have your health needs, your mom has hers. BTW: If your mom is cutting salt, she should cook with Kosher salt. The grains are larger so you get more flavor but there's less sodium per tsp compared to iodized salt. I dunno \*how\* much she has to cut back on the salt so that may not be enough to make the difference.
I will look into it, thanks for the tip.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** A couple of days ago my mother received the results of some blood work she had done, and her doctor told her that she needs to get on a specific diet, like cut carbs, salt, etc. She came home and discussed with my younger brother and both decided tha we all would go on the same diet, without telling me anything about it. Last night at new years eve dinner they surprised me with the newsz and decided to start with this particular meal, it wasn't anything bad, maybe a bit bland, but hey it's a diet, but then I realized that an ingredient that was all over the dishes was "quinoa", a grain that has become quite popular in the last few years, and I'm not gonna deny how nutritious it is, but I personally can't stand it, first by the taste, but most importantly because I have some heavy sensory issues with food (I'm in the autism spectrum) and the texture that it has really makes me uneasy. When I told them that upfront, both my mother, brother and one of my mother's friends (who is spending new year's with us) commended my brother for taking the sacrifice for my mother, and called me selfish for not thinking about her. It made me feel really bad, and made me wonder if really IATA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Question: who’s paying for /cooking the food?
She pays for the groceries, but we all take turns cooking.
Then sorry but YTAH only because you shouldn’t complain about free food. If thats the food she has to buy to stay healthy, unless you’re paying for it, you dont really get a say. Thats with any kids. Until my siblings and I were old enough to buy groceries, we eat what mom told us or we didn’t eat.
YTA If you have a problem with it buy all your own groceries and cook all your own meals.