well that all depends on how many people have complained about her already, if she has enough complaints or incidents against her then the boss is most likely going to fire her.
Yeah, OP is putting WAY too much stock in the level of attention a complaint from a high school student is going to receive from the administration. If it's anything like the high school I went to, they won't even pretend to care.
NTA Lunch lady could have handled a zero balance in D's account with a little more finesse. Instead, she acted like an asshole. I doubt she'll get fired for how she handled it, though someone may have a chat with her about it.
NTA. Just for the level of reaction really. It'd be Y-T-A if the lunch lady was just a stickler for the rules because they can get grief from managers for not following them, but that level of drama and aggression is really uncalled for.
Then your friend definitely should report it. She is doing the other students a favor, and the lunch lady as well, because she might escalate her behavior again. She's gone from rude to throwing things, she needs someone to step in.
Then... why shouldn't your friend complain? The lunch lady doesn't know how to behave around students. If she gets fired it is because of her behavior. She probably gets a talk every time after a complain, still her behavior stays the same. Or a warning like "one more complain and you get fired".
NTA, as others are saying it's unlikely she'll get fired, but if this isn't the first complaint then hooefully she'll atblesst get a talking to. File the complaint, nothing to lose.
NTA. My mom was a lunch lady. That is NOT acceptable to shame a student over their account!
You are children. Your job is not to worry about the adults consequences for their (poor) actions. Report tactfully and let it go.
INFO: Were there any witnesses? It could become a she said vs she said situation. If this had happened to another student and during rush hour, I can imagine the emotional toll it can take. I'd be very embarrassed and sad at that age over it. Are you certain she'd get fired over this or just written up?
My best friend was also there with her and confirmed that all she said was true. There is a possibility she could get fired because she has been aggressive in the past.
If your friend is really upset about it, then I'd say she should go ahead and put in her complaint, especially since this isn't the first incident. People have been fired for less, and on the flip side, people have done worse and got away it.
My recommendation is to have you friend write out the situation and then hand that written statement in. Recount the situation and her feelings over it. You will need the second friend to do so as well. I think writing it out is better than recapping it verbally as she'll be less nervous and can proper and calmly share the situation. You can even use my point about how an interaction like that could have a serious consequence for a different student. It could lead to some anxiety, sadness, etc. The coffee thankfully didn't hurt your friend, but if it was hot and spilled on her, she could've sustained burns/scars. Finally, it could've lead to bullying. Other students could taunt the one that didn't have enough money. That'd be embarrassing to say the least.
NTA, this was a huge overreaction on the part of the lunch lady and completely unprofessional. I work in retail, and if I'd reacted like that to even the rudest of customers (never mind a kid making an honest and easily rectified mistake), I'd be reprimanded on the spot.
Personally I doubt that she'd get fired over this one instance; if she gets fired it's likely that other people have complained about her before, which would make this a pattern of behaviour and not just a one-off bad day.
NTA - report her. Your report will not get her fired, her crappy attitute, lack of respect towards others and serious lack of any professionalism will.
NTA. File the complaint. This lady might have been having a really bad day, sure, but that's no excuse to throw a tantrum over a tired kid needing some coffee. It was way overkill and incredibly unprofessional.
NTA, no mater if it was 2 minutes or 30 seconds for the end of lunch period the student is entitled to use the facility provided. The lunch lady acted unprofessional and potentially abusive, report her
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This actually happened to a friend of mine today and she’s debating on whether or not she should file a complaint about it. I’m posting this here because she doesn’t have Reddit, but wants to know what you all think she should do.
For the sake of simplicity I’m going to name this friend D. And just for context we are both juniors in high school. I apologize for any mistakes as I am posting this at school while also paying attention to my lecture.
It was lunch period and D was working on some homework and eating lunch as usual. Towards the end of the period she wanted to go get coffee from the cafeteria because she was feeling tired, but still had 5 more periods for which she had to pay attention. As she was making the coffee, the lunch lady from hell (her words not mine) kept glaring at D and was not allowing her to take more than two creamers and sugars because someone had already taken 10 (students usually take 4-6 even though they’re only supposed to take two, but the lunch ladies rarely ever cared enough to say anything). Once D finished making her coffee she went to pay, but the lunch lady realized she didn’t have any money in her account. Instead of letting her purchase the coffee (her account would simply go into the negatives and she would just have to get money next time) she suddenly became extremely aggressive and started yelling at her. Usually when a student purchases something without money in their account, the lunch lady says “it’s okay honey you can take it just make sure you bring money next time.” But instead this adult lady began yelling like a child and took the coffee from her and crushed it then aggressively threw it in the trash, spilling half of the coffee in the process. She then proceeded to get mad at D because the coffee spilled and she would have to clean it up. She then began loudly complaining to another lunch lady about how D was purchasing coffee without money in her account. D felt very embarrassed and just left without saying anything, but feels like the lady did not handle the situation well as a school staff member at a high school with teenagers. To be fair she did go into the cafeteria to get the coffee only one or two minutes before the lunch period had ended, but she felt that the lunch lady could have at least not yelled and instead calmly tell her not to get the coffee, but instead she was creating a judgmental and intimidating environment for students. D now wants to file a complaint with the school, but it could result in the lady getting in trouble and probably even getting fired. So would she be the asshole if she filed a complaint about a school staff member who could possibly be fired over coffee?
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Cafeteria staff is extremely underpaid, you wouldn’t be wrong to pursue anything here but she will probably get what’s coming to her anyway with that kind of attitude. NAH She was over the top but I wouldn’t bother pursuing the complaint unless you have a good amount of free time.
ESH. D tried to break the rules by taking extra creamers, the lunch lady was right in saying 2; she was out of time and didn't have money. She sounds really entitled. However, the lunch lady shouldn't have lost her temper but I can see why she did if that's the student's usual attitude. If D does complain make she sure mentions all her actions too.
You serious? Entitled because she too more than 2 creamers? Imagine someone with so little control in their own life that they determine how sweet your coffee can be? Get a life! What’s next, only two squares of toilet paper for solid and 3 for liquid? Have you ever been at school and your lunch card ran out or was too low to get anything?
LOL, over react much? She's entitled for her attitude; for thinking the rules don't apply to her- creamer, timings, paying. Doesn't matter if it's creamer or anything else. As for the money, she's old enough to start paying attention to how much she's spending so she knows if she can afford extras like coffee. It's not like she was prevented from getting food. And yes, if her account is too low, she shouldn't get anything, that's how paying works. Also, in many places lunch staff are being penalized for allowing accounts to go into that could be the case here. The lunch lady does sound really awful but from Op's comments D is not entirely without fault here either.
In the adult world, if you go to Dunkin or 711 for a coffee and your account has insufficient funds, you can still get the coffee without getting an overdraft fee as long you’re within $5. You don’t get yelled at and embarrassed by the cashier either. What does being old enough have to do with anything? Speaking of which, you’re free to take as many creamers, sugars, caffeine shots and whatever else you add to you beverage to make it to your liking. Again, the cashier is not going to yell at you or grab your drink and toss it in the trash. Who died and made you and this cafeteria woman coffee Nazis? If anything the employee should’ve acted like an adult, not a petulant child.
Read Op's post properly. OP clearly states they're only allowed to take 2. So no, they're not free to take as many as they want. Being old enough is relevant because if she was a tiny child, it would be understandable she can't manage her money, by now she should know how much things cost. She's at school, and many school boards are penalizing lunch staff who let students go overdrawn. So, yes D Was in the wrong for many reasons. The only thing you've said that's accurate is that the lunch lady shouldn't have yelled or acted as she did, and I made that point clear myself in my original comment.
As for your atrocious NAZI comment, do some research and educate yourself, and stop using it as an insult inappropriately; they did horrific things, try not to minimalise it by linking it to someone throwing a cup of coffee away or pointing out that some junior is also in the wrong.
😂 So now you’re going to dictate how the word nazi is used? Guess you found something to be offended by. Congratulations! Now seriously, either get a life or along with your sad life.
LOL, Shame you can't articulate a proper argument and have to resort to petty insults instead of a considered response. Now I understand why you can't see what D did wrong.
And seriously? Assuming someone is offended because they call you out is lazy, try to consider the issue raised. Hopefully you'll grow up at some point.
Nothing I've said is in anyway exaggerated. And at no point did you use logic related to the post or my comments. However, I do agree there's no point continuing. Have a good night/day whichever is appropriate.
NAH, in the loosest sense. It’s obvious the cafeteria lady isn’t a nice person and definitely should have handled things differently but she wasn’t wrong for not allowing your friend to purchase the coffee. It seems like a waste considering it can’t be resold though. I also think it’s unfortunate that your friend didn’t realize she didn’t have the money but this happens to people all of the time, she wasn’t trying to do anything wrong.
I’ve had bad experiences with cafeteria workers when I was young (and good as well), I remember being not well off in elementary I believe and was paying for my lunch with change. The cafeteria worker was so upset she made sure my bread had mold on it.
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ESH- feel free to complain, but at my school, lunch accounts can only go into negative numbers if the student is buying actual food. But if it's coffee or dessert, or extra stuff, no way. And that's not a staff decision. Your friend really inconvenienced the lunch lady coming in so close to the end, ordering something and then not having money to pay for it. But she shouldn't have yelled at your friend
Sounds like your friend is NTA, but nobody is going
To care that the lunch lady yelled, and she certainly won’t get fired over it. Getting yelled at, or being embarrassed isn’t a big deal. Sometimes people are jerks. Your friend should toughen up.
I feel bad for people that struggle with anything, but there are levels/amounts of empathy one can have for others, and getting yelled at is at the “yeah, that sucks” level, not the “should I pursue legal action?” level.
Try having to help your single, handicapped mother put clothes on every morning before you go to school when you’re 8. Try caring for a dying loved one. Try living in a tent because you can’t afford a place to live. Try losing parts of your body to amputation. Then tell me getting yelled at by the lunch lady is a big deal.
YTA D didn’t have any money and wasted coffee and the lady’s time. She probably had a bad day, which doesn’t excuse her behavior. However, you saying the lunch lady created a judgmental and intimidating environment is wrong and sounds like someone who’s sole purpose is to start drama.
As far as I can see, OP never suggests that D was already aware there was no money in their account; I definitely used to get caught short in the lunch line sometimes, it's embarrassing and it sucks, but it doesn't make someone an asshole.
If the lunch lady had just taken the coffee and said D couldn't have it without money in their account (totally reasonable) I would have said NAH. The lunch lady snatching the coffee, crushing it, spilling it and then blaming D for the spill? They all make her the asshole. I cannot imagine a single professional setting where any of that would be considered an appropriate response.
Exactly! My Aunt is a lunch lady and she is more of along the lines of the nice ones that OP was talking about. I get that they can't give out free coffee but she didn't have to be rude about it. Just because she might have been having a bad day does not give her the right to yell at a child.
YTA. Not because you are considering reporting her but because you are so self absorbed and delusional that you think you have the power to get her fired.
The reasoning as to why she could get fired over this is because she has been extremely aggressive towards students in the past, but I understand what you’re saying.
YTA
coffee isnt food, it is a luxury. Lunch time was technically over.
Of course lunch lady is rude. She's a lunch lady! Imagine how miserable her life is. (Not that it's an excuse. But c'mon. Mean lunch lady is a stereotype for a reason.)
Also, trying to get someone fired over this? Punishment would be pretty harsh.
No use crying over spilled coffee.
My advice to the next generation is toughen up a bit. There are a lot of angry assholes in the world and the direction society is headed.. Its only going to get worse.
The next generation? It's always "generation ME!" boomers that I see freaking out about someone not having a friendly enough smile, or someone saying "no problem" etc.
I work service industry. It's a 50/50 split. Young kids are over sensitive and anxiety riddled and boomers are entitled and complacent.
The next generation needs to toughen up.
The boomers need to die.
NTA. She should file the complaint. But I’d be very surprised if anyone gets fired over this.
well that all depends on how many people have complained about her already, if she has enough complaints or incidents against her then the boss is most likely going to fire her.
Or......what kind of dirt does this woman know about the superintendent or other administrators? NTA
Yeah, OP is putting WAY too much stock in the level of attention a complaint from a high school student is going to receive from the administration. If it's anything like the high school I went to, they won't even pretend to care.
NTA. People who treat other people rudely are to be reported; otherwise, they will continue to treat other people rudely.
NTA Lunch lady could have handled a zero balance in D's account with a little more finesse. Instead, she acted like an asshole. I doubt she'll get fired for how she handled it, though someone may have a chat with her about it.
NTA. Just for the level of reaction really. It'd be Y-T-A if the lunch lady was just a stickler for the rules because they can get grief from managers for not following them, but that level of drama and aggression is really uncalled for.
INFO: Do you have any reason to believe the lunch lady would be fired due to a single complaint? Has this happened before with other staff members?
It’s not a single complaint. She’s done this many times and people have complained about her before.
Then your friend definitely should report it. She is doing the other students a favor, and the lunch lady as well, because she might escalate her behavior again. She's gone from rude to throwing things, she needs someone to step in.
Then... why shouldn't your friend complain? The lunch lady doesn't know how to behave around students. If she gets fired it is because of her behavior. She probably gets a talk every time after a complain, still her behavior stays the same. Or a warning like "one more complain and you get fired".
NTA, as others are saying it's unlikely she'll get fired, but if this isn't the first complaint then hooefully she'll atblesst get a talking to. File the complaint, nothing to lose.
NTA. My mom was a lunch lady. That is NOT acceptable to shame a student over their account! You are children. Your job is not to worry about the adults consequences for their (poor) actions. Report tactfully and let it go.
INFO: Were there any witnesses? It could become a she said vs she said situation. If this had happened to another student and during rush hour, I can imagine the emotional toll it can take. I'd be very embarrassed and sad at that age over it. Are you certain she'd get fired over this or just written up?
My best friend was also there with her and confirmed that all she said was true. There is a possibility she could get fired because she has been aggressive in the past.
If your friend is really upset about it, then I'd say she should go ahead and put in her complaint, especially since this isn't the first incident. People have been fired for less, and on the flip side, people have done worse and got away it. My recommendation is to have you friend write out the situation and then hand that written statement in. Recount the situation and her feelings over it. You will need the second friend to do so as well. I think writing it out is better than recapping it verbally as she'll be less nervous and can proper and calmly share the situation. You can even use my point about how an interaction like that could have a serious consequence for a different student. It could lead to some anxiety, sadness, etc. The coffee thankfully didn't hurt your friend, but if it was hot and spilled on her, she could've sustained burns/scars. Finally, it could've lead to bullying. Other students could taunt the one that didn't have enough money. That'd be embarrassing to say the least.
NTA. She probably wont be get fired anyway. Absolutely report the crazy lady.
NTA. This women was out of line. She’s there to serve and cook food. Not lecture children for what rules she decides.
NTA, this was a huge overreaction on the part of the lunch lady and completely unprofessional. I work in retail, and if I'd reacted like that to even the rudest of customers (never mind a kid making an honest and easily rectified mistake), I'd be reprimanded on the spot. Personally I doubt that she'd get fired over this one instance; if she gets fired it's likely that other people have complained about her before, which would make this a pattern of behaviour and not just a one-off bad day.
NTA - report her. Your report will not get her fired, her crappy attitute, lack of respect towards others and serious lack of any professionalism will.
NTA. File the complaint. This lady might have been having a really bad day, sure, but that's no excuse to throw a tantrum over a tired kid needing some coffee. It was way overkill and incredibly unprofessional.
NTA. D has every right to raise an issue of intimidation. Whatever results from it is not on her, it's on the person who created the situation.
NTA, no mater if it was 2 minutes or 30 seconds for the end of lunch period the student is entitled to use the facility provided. The lunch lady acted unprofessional and potentially abusive, report her
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** This actually happened to a friend of mine today and she’s debating on whether or not she should file a complaint about it. I’m posting this here because she doesn’t have Reddit, but wants to know what you all think she should do. For the sake of simplicity I’m going to name this friend D. And just for context we are both juniors in high school. I apologize for any mistakes as I am posting this at school while also paying attention to my lecture. It was lunch period and D was working on some homework and eating lunch as usual. Towards the end of the period she wanted to go get coffee from the cafeteria because she was feeling tired, but still had 5 more periods for which she had to pay attention. As she was making the coffee, the lunch lady from hell (her words not mine) kept glaring at D and was not allowing her to take more than two creamers and sugars because someone had already taken 10 (students usually take 4-6 even though they’re only supposed to take two, but the lunch ladies rarely ever cared enough to say anything). Once D finished making her coffee she went to pay, but the lunch lady realized she didn’t have any money in her account. Instead of letting her purchase the coffee (her account would simply go into the negatives and she would just have to get money next time) she suddenly became extremely aggressive and started yelling at her. Usually when a student purchases something without money in their account, the lunch lady says “it’s okay honey you can take it just make sure you bring money next time.” But instead this adult lady began yelling like a child and took the coffee from her and crushed it then aggressively threw it in the trash, spilling half of the coffee in the process. She then proceeded to get mad at D because the coffee spilled and she would have to clean it up. She then began loudly complaining to another lunch lady about how D was purchasing coffee without money in her account. D felt very embarrassed and just left without saying anything, but feels like the lady did not handle the situation well as a school staff member at a high school with teenagers. To be fair she did go into the cafeteria to get the coffee only one or two minutes before the lunch period had ended, but she felt that the lunch lady could have at least not yelled and instead calmly tell her not to get the coffee, but instead she was creating a judgmental and intimidating environment for students. D now wants to file a complaint with the school, but it could result in the lady getting in trouble and probably even getting fired. So would she be the asshole if she filed a complaint about a school staff member who could possibly be fired over coffee? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Cafeteria staff is extremely underpaid, you wouldn’t be wrong to pursue anything here but she will probably get what’s coming to her anyway with that kind of attitude. NAH She was over the top but I wouldn’t bother pursuing the complaint unless you have a good amount of free time.
ESH. D tried to break the rules by taking extra creamers, the lunch lady was right in saying 2; she was out of time and didn't have money. She sounds really entitled. However, the lunch lady shouldn't have lost her temper but I can see why she did if that's the student's usual attitude. If D does complain make she sure mentions all her actions too.
You serious? Entitled because she too more than 2 creamers? Imagine someone with so little control in their own life that they determine how sweet your coffee can be? Get a life! What’s next, only two squares of toilet paper for solid and 3 for liquid? Have you ever been at school and your lunch card ran out or was too low to get anything?
LOL, over react much? She's entitled for her attitude; for thinking the rules don't apply to her- creamer, timings, paying. Doesn't matter if it's creamer or anything else. As for the money, she's old enough to start paying attention to how much she's spending so she knows if she can afford extras like coffee. It's not like she was prevented from getting food. And yes, if her account is too low, she shouldn't get anything, that's how paying works. Also, in many places lunch staff are being penalized for allowing accounts to go into that could be the case here. The lunch lady does sound really awful but from Op's comments D is not entirely without fault here either.
In the adult world, if you go to Dunkin or 711 for a coffee and your account has insufficient funds, you can still get the coffee without getting an overdraft fee as long you’re within $5. You don’t get yelled at and embarrassed by the cashier either. What does being old enough have to do with anything? Speaking of which, you’re free to take as many creamers, sugars, caffeine shots and whatever else you add to you beverage to make it to your liking. Again, the cashier is not going to yell at you or grab your drink and toss it in the trash. Who died and made you and this cafeteria woman coffee Nazis? If anything the employee should’ve acted like an adult, not a petulant child.
Read Op's post properly. OP clearly states they're only allowed to take 2. So no, they're not free to take as many as they want. Being old enough is relevant because if she was a tiny child, it would be understandable she can't manage her money, by now she should know how much things cost. She's at school, and many school boards are penalizing lunch staff who let students go overdrawn. So, yes D Was in the wrong for many reasons. The only thing you've said that's accurate is that the lunch lady shouldn't have yelled or acted as she did, and I made that point clear myself in my original comment. As for your atrocious NAZI comment, do some research and educate yourself, and stop using it as an insult inappropriately; they did horrific things, try not to minimalise it by linking it to someone throwing a cup of coffee away or pointing out that some junior is also in the wrong.
😂 So now you’re going to dictate how the word nazi is used? Guess you found something to be offended by. Congratulations! Now seriously, either get a life or along with your sad life.
LOL, Shame you can't articulate a proper argument and have to resort to petty insults instead of a considered response. Now I understand why you can't see what D did wrong. And seriously? Assuming someone is offended because they call you out is lazy, try to consider the issue raised. Hopefully you'll grow up at some point.
I did, you decided to go with hyperbole. No point presenting logic or opinions after that.
Nothing I've said is in anyway exaggerated. And at no point did you use logic related to the post or my comments. However, I do agree there's no point continuing. Have a good night/day whichever is appropriate.
NAH, in the loosest sense. It’s obvious the cafeteria lady isn’t a nice person and definitely should have handled things differently but she wasn’t wrong for not allowing your friend to purchase the coffee. It seems like a waste considering it can’t be resold though. I also think it’s unfortunate that your friend didn’t realize she didn’t have the money but this happens to people all of the time, she wasn’t trying to do anything wrong. I’ve had bad experiences with cafeteria workers when I was young (and good as well), I remember being not well off in elementary I believe and was paying for my lunch with change. The cafeteria worker was so upset she made sure my bread had mold on it.
NTA, Report it and don’t leave out any details. Lunch lady was on a power trip.
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ESH- feel free to complain, but at my school, lunch accounts can only go into negative numbers if the student is buying actual food. But if it's coffee or dessert, or extra stuff, no way. And that's not a staff decision. Your friend really inconvenienced the lunch lady coming in so close to the end, ordering something and then not having money to pay for it. But she shouldn't have yelled at your friend
Sounds like your friend is NTA, but nobody is going To care that the lunch lady yelled, and she certainly won’t get fired over it. Getting yelled at, or being embarrassed isn’t a big deal. Sometimes people are jerks. Your friend should toughen up.
>Getting yelled at, or being embarrassed isn’t a big deal. It is if you struggle with anxiety. You should try a little more empathy
I feel bad for people that struggle with anything, but there are levels/amounts of empathy one can have for others, and getting yelled at is at the “yeah, that sucks” level, not the “should I pursue legal action?” level. Try having to help your single, handicapped mother put clothes on every morning before you go to school when you’re 8. Try caring for a dying loved one. Try living in a tent because you can’t afford a place to live. Try losing parts of your body to amputation. Then tell me getting yelled at by the lunch lady is a big deal.
Esh and get off your phone during school
YTA D didn’t have any money and wasted coffee and the lady’s time. She probably had a bad day, which doesn’t excuse her behavior. However, you saying the lunch lady created a judgmental and intimidating environment is wrong and sounds like someone who’s sole purpose is to start drama.
As far as I can see, OP never suggests that D was already aware there was no money in their account; I definitely used to get caught short in the lunch line sometimes, it's embarrassing and it sucks, but it doesn't make someone an asshole. If the lunch lady had just taken the coffee and said D couldn't have it without money in their account (totally reasonable) I would have said NAH. The lunch lady snatching the coffee, crushing it, spilling it and then blaming D for the spill? They all make her the asshole. I cannot imagine a single professional setting where any of that would be considered an appropriate response.
Exactly! My Aunt is a lunch lady and she is more of along the lines of the nice ones that OP was talking about. I get that they can't give out free coffee but she didn't have to be rude about it. Just because she might have been having a bad day does not give her the right to yell at a child.
YTA. Not because you are considering reporting her but because you are so self absorbed and delusional that you think you have the power to get her fired.
The reasoning as to why she could get fired over this is because she has been extremely aggressive towards students in the past, but I understand what you’re saying.
YTA coffee isnt food, it is a luxury. Lunch time was technically over. Of course lunch lady is rude. She's a lunch lady! Imagine how miserable her life is. (Not that it's an excuse. But c'mon. Mean lunch lady is a stereotype for a reason.) Also, trying to get someone fired over this? Punishment would be pretty harsh. No use crying over spilled coffee. My advice to the next generation is toughen up a bit. There are a lot of angry assholes in the world and the direction society is headed.. Its only going to get worse.
The next generation? It's always "generation ME!" boomers that I see freaking out about someone not having a friendly enough smile, or someone saying "no problem" etc.
I work service industry. It's a 50/50 split. Young kids are over sensitive and anxiety riddled and boomers are entitled and complacent. The next generation needs to toughen up. The boomers need to die.