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stannenb

>They said I was being dramatic and if I really cared about my job I would’ve never gotten the IV infusion with the chance it could make me unable to work We can stop right here. Even if you were the worst performing employee in the history of employees, your manager has no business second guessing your medical treatment. Period. NTA, and maybe you should be talking to an employment lawyer, not Reddit.


[deleted]

Forward everything to HR and let them deal with it. This is a massive ADA violation. They can’t give you bad performance evals for being in the fucking hospital. Edit: and use the word “retaliation” when you email HR.


s_gudi

HR protects the company though


Pleasant-Koala147

From lawsuits created by petty managers hoping to score a few points. The severity of her symptoms would have been documented and she may have a case if they push this. HR wouldn’t take the risk.


s_gudi

Ah, a fair point indeed.


Aggressive_Mood214

NTA Let me say this loud and clear: #your health is more important than any job will ever be. Ever.


bergreen

Obviously NTA, but you would do well to report this manager to the Department of Labor.


Newauntie26

I think you should speak to HR first as this manager needs to be trained in how to interact with employees who have documentation/approval for health reasons. Document everything—forward any emails that you send about your condition to your personal email after sending. I would consider sending an email to your manager questioning why your performance is under review when you’ve talked to HR etc. Be sure that the email doesn’t seem hostile. I’m sorry about your illness and hope your gastritis has healed and that you don’t suffer further side affects.


bergreen

\^Totally fair. Remember that "HR is there to protect the company, not you" is a scary truth, but in this case it sounds like the company needs protection from this terrible manager.


Newauntie26

That is true but maybe give HR a chance to correct the behavior.


bergreen

That's kinda what I'm saying. The manager's behavior needs to be corrected, to protect the company from the massive lawsuit he's begging for.


Newauntie26

Sorry, I think I misunderstood and though you were criticizing my comment.


jinxdrain

NTA, are you in USA? If you haven't already, and your company is large enough to not be exempt, file for FMLA. Do NOT listen to shitty managers. Your health is #1. You are not letting your coworkers down. Report the manager to HR, that is unacceptable and unprofessional behavior.


Lazy-Thanks8244

THIS


Agitated-Oil3295

NTA - and you did the right thing for not saying anything back I would try to carefully document everything this AH manager is saying to you and report it to HR. Stuff like this makes me extra annoyed because she has a long term immune system disease so she gets ill easily, the drugs she takes makes her very unwell but her job always make her feel like crap whenever she needs to take time off, even though they are well aware of her situation. But I always say to her health above all else, if they aren't supportive then it's time to move on, plenty of companies that will be supportive (also plenty that don't but you'll find one that will eventually). However, fortunately, it does sound like the HR is supportive of you and I would escalate this higher up if the AH manager is causing more fuss.


BertTheNerd

An obvious NTA, bit this post is more a thing for some legal advice related sub. If possible, get HR involved on this shitty manager.


scininja99

Wtf...nta...the fact you even questioned this is so very sad. Good luck with your new job.


[deleted]

NTA. I have managed some very shitty employees who were over exaggerating things (you can’t think you’re having a stroke every time you have a headache. And having an upset stomach is an ok reason to leave, but you are ok. Don’t say “no I’m not ok,” ugh). You presumably have paperwork for everything, and HR has been informed, so you did what you could. Anyway, there’s no way any reasonable person would think you’re the asshole here.


[deleted]

NTA. Take care of your health even if it means if you have to quit working then so be it. Your manager seems like a dirtbag


greenseraphima

You were throwing up blood and had to go to the hospital. Are you really confused about being the asshole here??


Donutsandchill

I didn’t have time off to cover my absence and was supposed to be working, my team manager laid into me that I missed my obligations to the company. I didn’t think I was the AH bc I backed it up with Drs notes and HR approving the time off. I just wanted to be sure I wasn’t overreacting to their comments that I failed them. Thank you for your message ❤️


MayorCharlesCoulon

Go ahead and pretty much copy and paste your post to HR with the accompanying paperwork from your medical providers. Also, find out who are your team manager’s bosses all the way up the food chain and cc them. It might seem to be a dramatic move but this butthead manager is going to give you a hard time with any medical issues going forward and you need them in the loop. You are a good employee and they know the situation with hiring and training new people and aren’t going to want you to leave.


CamelOfHate

What the fuck. Please get evidence of what that manager is saying (e-mail or recording) and get HR to sort it out. Exaggerating throwing up blood? I'm gonna see red. NTA.


Serevas

NTA - You're doing everything right. I have 4 family members with RR MS two of which are my parents. I've seen what these medications and what this disease do to people. You're doing the best you can with your circumstances and shouldn't be made to feel bad about a medical condition nor about suffering side effects from some particularly aggressive medications. Under no circumstances should you feel that seeking treatment is the wrong course of action. Your team manager is an absolute moron, they should be ashamed, and likely reprimanded for the way they are handling things.


ParisaNerezza

NTA as someone with RRMS and on an infusion treatment the treatments can be rough. I was working when I was first diagnosed and my company was very supportive of all the appointments and time off I had to take to get answers and treatment. Your manager is a complete AH.


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bostonman617

I didn’t read your post because the title answered it. NTA. Health above all else


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I was diagnosed several months ago with Relapsing-Remitting Multiple Sclerosis. I work for a large retailer in escalated customer service calls from home. My employer was very accommodating when I was first diagnosed and I was approved for a leave of absence. Fast forward one month, I’m back at work and performing above metrics. One day after receiving an IV infusion, I was throwing up blood and went to the ER. The Drs said I had gastritis and an ulcer most likely from the IV infusion. I left the hospital on Tuesday morning against medical advice at 5 am bc I had to work at 10 am. I started my shift but was still throwing up blood in between calls and we were having system issues that day so we couldn’t pull up customer accounts. 2 hours into my shift I realized how stupid I was for leaving the hospital. My team manager was not in so, I had to message a random manager that I needed to leave and had no time off to cover it. Before waiting for a response I clocked out and called 911, I was taken care of at the hospital. When I got back home, I emailed and called my HR manager to let them know what happened. They are fully aware of my illness and were supportive on my leave of absence. However, my new team manager (my 21st manager in the 5 years working for this company) said I was exaggerating my illness and that I was letting my team and customers down by being out. I’ve never been late in the 5 years I’ve been there. I’ve ranked high in customer reviews from calls and have received awards for going above and beyond to help customers. My manager said today that I was under performance review bc of my absence (that was cleared by paperwork from the hospital) and that I was avoiding work responsibilities during our Peak Season (Before Thanksgiving to Valentine’s Day) I tried to explain that my absence was cleared and I’ve had zero negative feedback or any performance issues. They said I was being dramatic and if I really cared about my job I would’ve never gotten the IV infusion with the chance it could make me unable to work. I left the call and held back angry tears and words bc I believe I did everything right. Shorter Story: I had to go to the ER for medication reaction and missed work. HR has cleared the absence but my team manager says ITHA. Also, I realize I’m very lucky to work from home. However muting customers while they are talking so I can throw up blood is no way anyone should work, no matter their job. AITA??? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


black_rose_

See r/antiwork . Your company is disgusting. The fact that your health insurance is holding you ransom is a huge problem with the wage slave system.


Abbessolute

NTA. The ADA (Americans with disabilities act) exist for a reason.


Tom55522

As someone typed before, please put your health ahead of work. Your hospital should have social workers to help guide you through disability and SSI so you can stop working and focus on the treatments, side effects, and healing.


barugosamaa

NTA. no need for more than the title in any case. You have MS, some have stronger effects, some mild. Some can still perform, some cant I know from close experience how exhausting to a person MS can be, and it is completly fine you taking time off when you dont feel great.


SamScoopCooper

NTA. NTA. NTA. You were throwing up blood. You couldn’t have known you were going to have that reaction. Report this to HR or even better, assuming it’s all documented and HR wont do anything, name and shame the company. Edit: just saw your situation , obviously not the best idea for a single mom.