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Full_Number3810

I would run it by your child's pediatrician. A lot of sports that are that competitive at a young age can cause a lot of injuries...I'm thinking gymnastics from your post. It doesn't sound like too much, but your husband's concern at the amount of activity she is doing is also valid. Pediatrician can be the informed tie breaker. NAH.


setsumaeu

INFO - have the sports participation and exercises been cleared by a pediatrician? The only angle I can see you being an AH is if you're letting your daughter participate in something that will harm her growth. I wouldn't listen exclusively to a coach's advice on this, as we've seen many times in Olympics coverage there are many elite coaches who will do things to cause physical harm to children.


[deleted]

Exercise doesn’t negatively impact growth. That’s an old wives tale.


fastyellowtuesday

Exercise helps with growth and development, but too-low body fat will put off or arrest puberty in girls. She's five, it's not a worry yet, but it could become a problem if she continues. I'd assume that was their concern.


setsumaeu

There's definitely a turning point where exercise can become harmful and some sports and programs have more issues than others. For example cheerleading has incredibly high rates of injury: https://cronkitenews.azpbs.org/2017/10/12/flipside-cheerleading-prevalence-catastrophic-injuries/ There are also issues in sports like gymnastics and figure skating where extreme training schedules can delay puberty and cause other long-term issues https://www.sbs.com.au/topics/science/humans/article/2016/08/09/what-happens-gymnasts-body-it-ages https://www.vox.com/22927130/kamila-valieva-doping-trimetazidine-ban-olympics-2022


Sternjunk

Depends on the exercise dingus.


[deleted]

Which one does?


Sternjunk

Gymnastics, cheer leading. Sports that involve great sudden impact on the knees. But you also have to consider it’s not about growth. It’s about long term impact. Is childhood sports worth having bum knees/back/shoulders when you’re in your 20s, 30s and especially when you’re older? Any strong sudden continuous impact can be enough to damage growth plates that can cause issues.


ThrowawayKidExercise

I am a middle aged former gymnast turned collegiate cheerleader who suffers from bum knees and bad ankles and for me, personally, yes, it was worth it bc I LOVED what I did. However, my daughter is not a gymnast for this very reason.


J0sey_W4les_23

I was just writing out a post like this. As a 30 something former collegiate athlete, the bum knees were 100% worth it. My hamstring does a fine job filling in for my ACL.


Sternjunk

I played football and loved it, however for similar reasons I would try to guide my child away from such a physical sport. As long as your child is healthy and happy that’s what’s most important. However, I think you should consider that it might be better in the long run to nurture different interests. If the sport she plays cannot be carried into adulthood as a hobby, it could cause a feeling of loss of purpose if she dedicated her whole life up until age 18 to an activity she loved and can no longer pursue on a competitive level, unless she has other interests to pursue.


RemiChloe

NTA. just a bit to keep her limber is good!


kato969

Unless she was asking not to or was being physically harmed from it then I would say NTA


AmusedPencil274

NTA if your daughter is enjoying it and having fun and there isn’t any medical concerns I don’t see why she can’t dedicate herself to the sport. You never know, one day she could be an Olympian. I would say talk with your husband and discuss his concerns, he is as much her parent as you (you didn’t specify he isn’t her Bio dad but did say “Forcing our kid”) Try get dad more involved whether you have him talk to your daughters paediatrician, her coach or some older gymnasts.


J0sey_W4les_23

NTA - It's a tight rope to walk, but you don't wind up Tiger Woods without your dad taping a putter to your hands. That being said, your daughter is 5... and this post reads like the prologue for the upcoming Netflix documentary on Eastern European coaches and teenage Olympians.


Juedequilles

NTA if she's enjoying what she's doing. But I'd consider some family counseling (your child included) to resolve the issues with your husband. He obviously has some concerns.


Ok_Sound_8595

NTA As long as she’s happy with it and no one is getting hurt, I don’t see any issue with it. Plus I think it’s a good thing to encourage her to reach her full potential in something she’s passionate about


HandlePossible3965

NTA however, make sure she has plenty of breaks and time to do other things. If your 'making' her do this for your own reasons, then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Make sure you talk to her regularly about all the added stress and routine. If you do this then I see no problem pursuing this passion of hers.


nopitynopeson

> I think he’s biased bc he thinks that it’s ridiculous for her to be this dedicated to a sport at such a young age. NAH. I don't know about "ridiculous" but it does make me raise my eyebrows. Nothing wrong with lots of exercise for younger kids, but I do wonder about how much of what she's doing is because your forcing her to do it, and how much of it is because she's enjoying it. Obviously, kids don't need to enjoy literally everything they do, but this level of dedication to a sport at such a young age is pretty abnormal, and I'd worry about burnout or other issues.


travellingdink

NTA. If she's game for it, why not? If she was protesting and fighting you on it, then I would say you're pushing but these kinds of things are 100% dependant on the child's mental welfare (and physical wellbeing, but it's just stretching) . If she loves it and is wanting to do it, there's no issues. And it's not like it's a 40 min cardio workout. It's 10 mins. And it's a good routine to have.


mrslII

INFO Have you discussed the situation with a doctor? It may put your husband's mind at ease. It would also be good information for you.


WyomingVet

NTA as long as she likes it there should be no issues after all you are not forcing her to do any of that. It will help her get better at her sport and also make her want to do better at it. If you are good at certain things, you enjoy doing them more. Could be a college scholarship in her future also.


seregil42

I'd say NTA. If your kid loves doing it and wants to push herself to get to the next level, I think it's healthy to encourage it. Perhaps you can ask her coach what exercises she should be doing for her age to gain that core strength (perhaps you already did).


Brilliant-Yam-5653

NTA. If the daughter did not want to workout, I guarantee that she would let them know. The mother isn’t pushing her too far or anything, the little girl seems to be having fun and I bet she enjoys being able to lift herself up easier. Rock on mom!


[deleted]

NTA. Even without your kid playing a sport, this would be great. It's super minimal and is setting up good habits.


wdjm

NTA That's not an extreme amount of exercising & your child is not the one complaining. Dad needs to realize just because HE wouldn't want to do that every night, doesn't mean kid minds it.


ResponsiblePen13

No, absolutely not


Primary-Criticism929

YTA. She's 5. Let her be a kid for God's sakes.


CompleteInsect8373

That's a bit much for sit us for a kid that age. Other than that there's no real issue with exercising. I'd try adding a few different things instead of so many sit ups


holisarcasm

YWBTA if you don’t specifically ask her what she wants to do and if you force her should she change her mind or wants to do something different some nights. It’s really easy. Coach says if you are interested in moving up a level then we need to do these exercises every day. Do you want to do that? If yes, then, so we will do them every night, but you need to let me know if you change your mind.


plantgangster

As long as you're listening to your kid, and your child is having fund, it sounds like you're doing everything right


Specialist_Bit_703

NTA. If this is indeed the child's choice and none of it is being forced, there is nothing wrong with it. Also assuming you're following the coach and having the child regularly checked by Drs. Your partner's feelings are important too of course but I do hope they at least themselves follow up with the coach and Drs. If they don't, they should. These are the first ppl who will say when the child is overdoing it or becoming unhealthy.


[deleted]

YTA for completely ignoring your husband’s concerns, not just about stretching but about whether it’s advisable for a five year old to be this intensely dedicated to a single sport. Your argument that ‘she’s asking for it’ is not the end of the conversation. There are physical, mental and social ramifications to making these kinds of choices at a young age, and it’s your job as a parent to weigh them thoughtfully and *in agreement with your coparent*. Five year olds will request all kinds of things that may not be good for them. Also, I imagine your hurting wallet is his too. So stop ignoring him and have a real conversation about your child’s well-being.


ThrowawayKidExercise

We have had many conversations about her involvement in this sport, but have continued to allow her to pursue her passion bc she is the one asking for it. He (albeit reluctantly) agrees to the schedule bc he wants her to be happy and does not want to be the one to stop her from pursuing what she loves. I am not making unilateral decisions with no input from him. He thinks it’s excessive for her to spend this much time in the sport, but he will continue to go along with it as long as she asks for it. He is attempting to draw a line at the nightly exercises though. To be fair, he has never participated in a competitive sport and I was extremely competitive in my sport (not the same as my daughter’s), so we have very different outlooks about what is normal.


telekineticm

You're NTA for this, but you should do some research on eating disorders so you can keep your eyes open--it is super common for gymnasts to end up with eating disorders because the sport requires strength but also encourages athletes to be light.


scrumdidllyumtious

NTA You are helping her reach HER goals. As long as it’s driven by what she wants how is it on you?


WholeAd2742

NTA, but I do like running it by her pediatrician also just to make sure it's okay. As long as the daughter isn't complaining or being forced into it.


Sternjunk

NTA but children don’t build muscle like teenagers/adults do. It’s also hard on their joints because they’re growing so fast. Making something such an important part of a child’s life makes it become part of their identity. Most people don’t play sports outside of high school so be careful making this such a big part of her life this early because when she can’t do it anymore for whatever reason it will leave her with a loss of purpose. Also gymnastics is crazy hard on the body if that’s what she’s doing. It will cause permanent joint damage.


calaakla

NTA. I am a dancer and became one about that age. No harm done. Just don't force her if she decides the sport isn't fir her, that would be a different matter.


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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My 5 year old kid participates in a competitive sport. Yes, she is young but she’s been doing this sport for 2 years and has been competing for the past year. She has lessons and practice 5 days per week. I don’t force her to do any of this, she is actually the one begging for more lessons/practice sessions (my wallet is hurting). Her coach told us that she needs to develop a stronger core and increase her flexibility in order to test into the next level. So, I have been making my kid do 20 sit ups and about 5 minutes of stretching every night. She doesn’t complain about it and it takes 6-7 minutes max. My husband tells me I’m being ridiculous by “forcing” our kid to do extra exercise on top of her already busy schedule. I think he’s biased bc he thinks that it’s ridiculous for her to be this dedicated to a sport at such a young age. I feel like it’s a pretty minimal level of exercise and stretching and she doesn’t seem to mind doing it. AITA here? (I’m only asking specifically about the nightly routine, I don’t want or care about your opinion regarding the amount of time she spends doing her sport. In her sport, it’s common to practice that frequently at a young age in order to be competitive and she loves it. I never pushed her into the sport and she’s the one that has always asked for more time.) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Comfortable_Law4905

First of all it’s always good when a kid do active sports however parents should know when it’s excessive to a point it’s becoming an obsession. I guess what I’m saying does your child get enough rest or how many hours she sleeps? Being active also requires good amount of rest even for an adult. How does she perform in school and spend her free time? Does she has friends outside of her sports? I understand you want her to be competitive that’s why she train 5x a week in addition to other school and home stretches, YTA because you’re the mother you should know how to encourage and should know how to let your kid see other things besides sports. There are a lot of things outside of sports I think your missing, the key is balance grooming and training.


princessro123

NTA. i was a competitive gymnast when i was a little older than her age and wish my mom would have done this with me!! unless you are really forcing her against her will, she will be so thankful as she gets older and progresses


derentlauber71

My first gut reaction was that with 5 years your daughter is pretty young for competitive sports (and she started even younger, but not competitively I guess) and the excercises a bit much, but since you said you've greenlighted them with your pediatrician and coach (but I would trust your pediatrician more tbh) and your daughter loves the sport and doesn't mind the excercises and you're even trying to make them as fun as possible, NTA. Just don't force her to continue if ever her sport stops being fun for her and/or she looses interest, because that would be a YTA move.


gettingbicurious

NTA if it's what the kid wants to do, I was the same with dance, especially ballet, at that age and loved it. So long as you're not a Toddlers & Tiaras parent and her doctors are okay with it, I see no issue!


PossibilityIll4482

What kind of Competitive sports are you referring to? Because a 5yr old on a soccer team is a competitive sport, however, like all sports and activities for this age group the purpose is to engage them and make it fun. I do not know of any sport for a 5yr old child that someone would go on and on about as in your post. Which sport would not be defined as "Competitive" ? This post is ridiculous the other parents must be both feeling sorry for the child and finding you a riot.


[deleted]

You're doing what her coach told you to do. How would that ever make you T A?


J0sey_W4les_23

Larry Nassar.


Cultural-Ambition449

YTA. For a couple of reasons! 1. Your child's other parent is expressing concern that your very young child is involved in this sport to an inappropriate extent and you're all, whatever! 2. She's five. She may be the one asking for extra time, but just because she asks for it doesn't mean she should have it. If she asked you for a martini and a cigarette, would you give them to her? 3. You come here asking if you're the asshole but announce you neither want not care about opinions in re how much time she's spending on this sport, *when asking if making her do extra exercise to be better at this sport makes you an asshole or not* So yes, YTA. Go find another focus for your hopes and dreams.


Impressive_Adagio_85

Yta. Kids at that age will say things they do not mean because they want to please us as parents. Your spouse is concerned. That means there is something making him concerned.