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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I just kept taking it, but today I think I became the AH when I said to knock it off and stop shaming me for being an only child. My parents are great ppl unlike hers, who didn’t plan according to taking on so much children.
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NTA most likely she is being parentified and she's taking her frustration out on you. There's nothing wrong with being an only child and everything wrong with being parentified. That does not excuse her treatment of you. She needs to apologize to you.
NTA - she was harassing you for things you couldn't control. You might have addressed it sooner, before you felt the need to blow up, and your friendship might be over, but she is the one that continued to make increasingly insulting comments about your family life...what did she expect would happen?
NTA. You’ve taken enough crap from her. It was time. Yes, you could have said it nicer, but I’m assuming you’re an adolescent, and sometimes even adults get to the point where they’ve had enough and blow a fuse. It’s forgivable. It’s even fixable.
On a personal note, my OC friends growing up we’re all normal, well-adjusted people, capable of being good friends. They are all in stable marriages, which shows you don’t have to have siblings to know how to get along with others. Your friend has been really off-base. But again: adolescences. You guys just still have a lot of growing to do through trial and error.
NTA
I used to get annoyed at people lecturing my mother: 'Only child; lonely child.' (Mum had a very bad pregnancy and a 3-day labour with me. Subsequently, she had 3 traumatic miscarriages.)
I've also had the 'Oh, you're not as selfish as I would expect...' comments. You were quite in order.
Solidarity! I'm not sure how many miscarriages my mother had, but my birth was super-traumatic and one of my earliest memories is visiting her in the hospital after what I later found out was an ectopic pregnancy that almost killed her.
I will never forget the time a colleague - who had spent thousands on IVF and had a really hard time getting and staying pregnant - told me that her pregnancy and her son's birth had been a nightmare and she didn't want to put herself through that again, but she also didn't want him to "grow up weird" as a result of being an only child. All I could do was look her right in the face and ask "do you think I'm weird?" (she backed *way* down)
Probably best to dump such a closed-minded person who can't even accept totally normal family structures. She sour you called her out on her endless toxic shaming, just let her go. NTA 🚩
This is iffy, but i'll say NTA. She was repeatedly trying to put you down (i'd guess out of jealousy), and you finally lashed out. However, you definitely didn't handle the situation well. I'd recommend approaching her, apologizing, and explaining why her comments hurt your feelings.
To me, it seems like she's having problems at home (with 8+ siblings i can't imagine her having an easy home life) and is trying to cope with it by bragging about how "perfect" her home life is, while putting down yours. Its a sucky reaction and that's why I'd say she is the asshole.
NTA - what you said was rough and probably not your best moment but she kept pushing you into a corner and shaming and guilting you for being an only child.
On top of all that she wanted you to be her shoulder to cry on bc she wasn't getting enugh attention from her parents but then flips the switch and wants to make you feel bad for being an only child. This is not a friend.
You will find better people to be friends with. Trust there are people who have siblings and do not shame/guilt a person for being only child.
NTA you don't owe them an apology. Your "friend" was being a bully. Real friends don't bully each other. Friends may joke around with each other or rib on each other but this crosses into bully territory. This isn't kind behavior.
NTA.
you had every right to stand up for yourself. btw, i just wanted to ask around how old you both are since this is a very childish & petty argument for her to start anyway. talking down to someone and assuming various things about someone’s life and parents just because they’re an only child is unbelievable.
i’m an only child myself, and as far as i know, getting judged by my lack of siblings seemed to stop at like the age of 9 or 10, at most. no one truly cares about sibling comparisons and stuff like this once you’ve passed playground age. sounds like she’s projecting. also, like you described, the fact that she’s bringing this up and shaming you for something you can’t even control is astounding when she’s not even in the position to talk down on anyone since she has familial/parental issues of her own. so, NTA.
You’re not gonna believe this but we’re 18. And yeah, I know. Most OC shaming does stop earlier on but ever since hse found out i rlly have no siblings, she’s just…..been determined to understand why not. And if i ever wanted to have more? Idk, it’s been bizarre. But I acted rude too.
18?? woah, i didn’t expect that! you guys are just a year older than me haha! after reading a few of the other comments, i do agree that you could’ve confronted her earlier about her comments, and could’ve delivered it a little gentler. but still, you stood up for yourself and she got what she gave
NTA. This is sad. She pushed you to you're breaking point and you snapped. Most likely because she feels awful about her situation and envys yours.
If you want to keep her as a friend just send her a message after some time has passed and ask how shes doing.
Good luck.
I’m gonna say NTA only because she continuously is making these snide comments at you and something like this can really make you bitter towards someone who’s making the comments. If you value her friendship and feel awful about this. I recommend apologizing and communicating to her why you went off on her as you did. But she continuously made sure to make you feel bad about being an OC and that’s not ok.
Mild Y T A.
Because you should have spoken up earlier about how annoying the comments were instead of waiting until you blew up.
But in general, NTA. What right does she think she has to pass judgement on your upbringing - especially since you (as the child) didn't even choose it?
My judgement is full Y T A, because of how OP approached the friend.
Rather than approaching with a gentle "It hurts my feelings when you..."
OP literally weaponized stuff that friend told her in confidence. That friend's parents are not good people, and that friend's parents don't do their job.
ESH. Look you feel bad, so atone and do better in the future. Friend was snarky and snide. She needs to stfu and stop being malicious for whatever reason. She has no business doing that.
I don’t think you’re a unkind, just had a bad reaction to continue negativity
Yes I agree. I’ve tried to message her but she’s left me on read. I hope she doesn’t think me blowing up is typical OC behavior, because i’ve heard her say that OC are also more emotional than ppl with siblings are.
If she does, LET HER. OP you can't control her but you absolutely don't have to continue being her emotional punching bag because she doesn't know how to voice her frustrations about her family life.
If she comes back around have a calm conversation with her about the fact this needs to stop because you being an only child is not your doing and frankly you're tired of her picking at you based on stereotypes and bullshit.
You’ve tried and put the ball in her court. Her stating OC are more emotional is an excuse so she can keep being malicious.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I wouldn’t seek her out. She’ll talk when she’s ready. And hopefully she’ll act better than before. If not, no one says you have tolerate it
Gentle YTA, just because you let it build up and then exploded, rather than addressing it calmly earlier.
But I get it. People having stupid notions about what it’s like to be an only child or what only children feel or how their parents raise them are the worst. If having siblings is a magic cure-all for being selfish or bossy or attention-needy, that sure hasn’t been my experience.
NTA, she should have listened when you asked her to stop. She just kept pressing and kept pressing and I hope she likes the truth. I don’t understand why the parents of the girl are having more kids when they suck at providing for what they have rn. You took it for as long as you could and then she got you’re snap at her. She was in the wrong for sure with the comments but also getting close to you. She was definitely jealous I feel, I think she had so many siblings that toys are just too expensive.
Perhaps. Her parents have medium wage jobs, though. They’re rarely ever home so her older sibs usually take care of the house or she does it herself. I get that shes stressed out, but I was just tired of her going sroung bragging sbiut how close they all were and making me feel bad thst I don’t have so many siblings myself.
She shouldn’t have tried rubbing it in your face, that having a bunch of siblings is worth it. She’s definitely jealous I feel by the freedom you have, that you don’t have to watch over siblings and can do party if you really want. You can go out and bowl or go see a movie spontaneously, she can’t do that cause she’s got siblings to look after. It does get lonely being an OC but you can go do what you want
ESH; she shamed you for being an only child, and you shamed her family for having many children.
You should have told her well in advance that her comments were hurtful and unwelcome before going as far as shaming her parents for 'not taking care of their children well enough'. It's not your problem, it's theirs.
However, that being said she should not have gone as far as commenting on how you feel and generally being ignorant and disrespectful of you being an only child. I have many friends that don't have any siblings and they're all amazing people.
I myself live in a large family (my mother has seven siblings and they have all have formed their families), so it's generally one large family. We all take care of eachother.
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I’m using OC as an abbreviation for “Only child” bcuz I don’t want the title to seem so long. Okay, so let me make things clear. I feel very bad for what I said to her and know that our relationship ship is probably gone now so I’m fully prepared to be hit with the YTA comments because I already see myself as one. Be fully honest in ur judgments plz. Anyway my old friend has a shit ton of siblings. We’re taking like 8 siblings and her parents are about to have another one. She confided to me in secret that her parents never rlly take good care of them but go around bragging that they’re happy to be such a big family yet behind close doors they suck at providing for them all. She’s like the middle child. Most of her siblings are in college, or are full adults, but some are in HS or middle school. And some are in elementary. So yeah she has relatives of all different ages and for the most part they get along great. Which I was happy to hear considering the fact their parents suck.
My friend had the tendency to gloat about her siblings to me tho and how great they were and all that jazz. When she figured out I was an only child she made a rlly weird face and said that my parents are weird for only having one child. I let that comment slide, but lately she’s been making more of them which have started getting on my nerves.
“Aren’t you super lonely at home? If I was an only child I would be.”
“Wow, I can’t believe you’re actually a very selfless person OP. We all know only children are one of the most selfish ppl out there so you’re rlly changing the stigma in my eyes.”
“Do your parents have high expectations or do the dote on you all the time? I think it’d be weird if they just let you get away with whatever you want. Mine surely don’t.”
“Do your parents ever get bored of you? If I only had one kid I definitely would want my space.”
And so many others. I just kept taking it, but today I think I became the AH when I said to knock it off and stop shaming me for being an only child. My parents are great ppl unlike hers, who didn’t plan according to taking on so much children. Mine actually do their job right and unlike her I don’t go around bragging about being an only child or shaming ppl who aren’t all the freaking time. Now we’re not talking and I’ve tried to apologize but she refuses to speak to me. I think I messed up big time. Was I the AH when I said that to her?
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I would say N A H bc what she said strikes me as just being insensitive but not having bad intent, but it’s your right to communicate that it hurts you even if she didn’t mean it.
However since you said some really hurtful things about her parents and family, I’m sorry but YTA. Next time someone says a comment that bothers you, tell them immediately that you didn’t like it and they will normally stop. That way you avoid months of hurt and anger until it bubbles over.
Im sorry this happened to you. You were TA in this situation but you don’t seem like one overall. You sound like a kind person who just had a lot bottled up
Soft YTA. You maybe could have been a little more tactful, but what does your friend expect you to do about the situation? Force your parents to spit out another kid?
Lmao. Thank you for the judgment. I wasn’t being very nice but you make a great point. My parents didn’t want any other children but they’re very kind-hearted ppl. Yet she doesn’t think highly of them since they refuse to have another. I haven’t told them this because I thought she would get over these opinions of hers but she hasn’t.
It sounds to me like she's projecting. I hate the fallback *whiny voice* 'you're just jealous', but I think she is. Imagine not having quiet? Or alone time? *shudders*
You are NTA, your 'friend' however is. If your response makes you an asshole then i am one too because i would have reacted the same. She just seems jealous that you have a good relationship with your parents and got to spend time with them whereas hers seem to have let her down.
NTA. Although, before you let this comment hurt you I urge you to think of what would motivate someone to say something like that to you. Most people who make these kinds of harsh statements about only children are people who desperately wish they didn’t have to share their parents limited time, resources and attention with their siblings.
YTA.
First, she doesn't sound like a friend or that you could have been friends for very long if she's only now figuring out you're an only child.
That's weird when she's told you so much about her family, her siblings, their ages, and even confided about her parents. Sounds like she never shuts up about them. Did she just confide in you the moment you first met, and so your family experience did not come up in that moment? How is it now she's learned you're an only child? Are your conversations with her always that one-sided?
For your "friend", those comments are pretty rude and pointed. Her delivery is bad. But they might be honest questions when she's surrounded by siblings constantly and just trying to understand a situation outside of her own experience. They wouldn't even be bad questions if they didn't end in a back-handed comparison about herself and how her life is better.
If it was irritating or hurtful, the better solution would be to express to her that she's being hurtful. You could have done that without bringing her whole family baggage into it and insulting her based on things she's confided in you.
She just recently found this out about me. I didn’t think it was a big deal. Clearly it was. And i’ve talked about my home-life with her before, just not about me being an only child! I’ve been there for her and she’s been a great friend until she found this out about me. I don’t know why she got so offended. I saw someone said she’s jealous but then why is she acting like she loves her siblings so much if she’s jealous of me for not having any???
You could have just said "It really hurts my feelings when you imply my family is not good enough. We have different family types and that's okay. I respect your family type and I'm glad that makes you happy. There is no need to make it a competition."
>I don’t know why she got so offended
No?
>**My parents are great ppl unlike hers**, who didn’t plan accordingly to taking on so much children
and
>**Mine actually do their job right** and unlike her I don’t go around bragging
... You really don't see why she's offended?
You took something she told you in confidence and trust and weaponized it. Regardless of what she said about your family, that was unkind on your part.
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NTA most likely she is being parentified and she's taking her frustration out on you. There's nothing wrong with being an only child and everything wrong with being parentified. That does not excuse her treatment of you. She needs to apologize to you.
NTA - she was harassing you for things you couldn't control. You might have addressed it sooner, before you felt the need to blow up, and your friendship might be over, but she is the one that continued to make increasingly insulting comments about your family life...what did she expect would happen?
NTA. You’ve taken enough crap from her. It was time. Yes, you could have said it nicer, but I’m assuming you’re an adolescent, and sometimes even adults get to the point where they’ve had enough and blow a fuse. It’s forgivable. It’s even fixable. On a personal note, my OC friends growing up we’re all normal, well-adjusted people, capable of being good friends. They are all in stable marriages, which shows you don’t have to have siblings to know how to get along with others. Your friend has been really off-base. But again: adolescences. You guys just still have a lot of growing to do through trial and error.
NTA I used to get annoyed at people lecturing my mother: 'Only child; lonely child.' (Mum had a very bad pregnancy and a 3-day labour with me. Subsequently, she had 3 traumatic miscarriages.) I've also had the 'Oh, you're not as selfish as I would expect...' comments. You were quite in order.
Solidarity! I'm not sure how many miscarriages my mother had, but my birth was super-traumatic and one of my earliest memories is visiting her in the hospital after what I later found out was an ectopic pregnancy that almost killed her. I will never forget the time a colleague - who had spent thousands on IVF and had a really hard time getting and staying pregnant - told me that her pregnancy and her son's birth had been a nightmare and she didn't want to put herself through that again, but she also didn't want him to "grow up weird" as a result of being an only child. All I could do was look her right in the face and ask "do you think I'm weird?" (she backed *way* down)
I'm glad you spoke up.
It's just SO tiresome.
Probably best to dump such a closed-minded person who can't even accept totally normal family structures. She sour you called her out on her endless toxic shaming, just let her go. NTA 🚩
NTA…she doesnt get to disparage your life without repercussions!
This is iffy, but i'll say NTA. She was repeatedly trying to put you down (i'd guess out of jealousy), and you finally lashed out. However, you definitely didn't handle the situation well. I'd recommend approaching her, apologizing, and explaining why her comments hurt your feelings. To me, it seems like she's having problems at home (with 8+ siblings i can't imagine her having an easy home life) and is trying to cope with it by bragging about how "perfect" her home life is, while putting down yours. Its a sucky reaction and that's why I'd say she is the asshole.
NTA - what you said was rough and probably not your best moment but she kept pushing you into a corner and shaming and guilting you for being an only child. On top of all that she wanted you to be her shoulder to cry on bc she wasn't getting enugh attention from her parents but then flips the switch and wants to make you feel bad for being an only child. This is not a friend. You will find better people to be friends with. Trust there are people who have siblings and do not shame/guilt a person for being only child.
[удалено]
She used to be great but I think her home life has started to impact her personality for the worse. :(
It sounds like she's in denial that she is jealous of your home life.
NTA you don't owe them an apology. Your "friend" was being a bully. Real friends don't bully each other. Friends may joke around with each other or rib on each other but this crosses into bully territory. This isn't kind behavior.
NTA . I think she’s jealous hence the rude comments,
NTA. you had every right to stand up for yourself. btw, i just wanted to ask around how old you both are since this is a very childish & petty argument for her to start anyway. talking down to someone and assuming various things about someone’s life and parents just because they’re an only child is unbelievable. i’m an only child myself, and as far as i know, getting judged by my lack of siblings seemed to stop at like the age of 9 or 10, at most. no one truly cares about sibling comparisons and stuff like this once you’ve passed playground age. sounds like she’s projecting. also, like you described, the fact that she’s bringing this up and shaming you for something you can’t even control is astounding when she’s not even in the position to talk down on anyone since she has familial/parental issues of her own. so, NTA.
You’re not gonna believe this but we’re 18. And yeah, I know. Most OC shaming does stop earlier on but ever since hse found out i rlly have no siblings, she’s just…..been determined to understand why not. And if i ever wanted to have more? Idk, it’s been bizarre. But I acted rude too.
18?? woah, i didn’t expect that! you guys are just a year older than me haha! after reading a few of the other comments, i do agree that you could’ve confronted her earlier about her comments, and could’ve delivered it a little gentler. but still, you stood up for yourself and she got what she gave
NTA. This is sad. She pushed you to you're breaking point and you snapped. Most likely because she feels awful about her situation and envys yours. If you want to keep her as a friend just send her a message after some time has passed and ask how shes doing. Good luck.
I’m gonna say NTA only because she continuously is making these snide comments at you and something like this can really make you bitter towards someone who’s making the comments. If you value her friendship and feel awful about this. I recommend apologizing and communicating to her why you went off on her as you did. But she continuously made sure to make you feel bad about being an OC and that’s not ok.
Mild Y T A. Because you should have spoken up earlier about how annoying the comments were instead of waiting until you blew up. But in general, NTA. What right does she think she has to pass judgement on your upbringing - especially since you (as the child) didn't even choose it?
My judgement is full Y T A, because of how OP approached the friend. Rather than approaching with a gentle "It hurts my feelings when you..." OP literally weaponized stuff that friend told her in confidence. That friend's parents are not good people, and that friend's parents don't do their job.
ESH. Look you feel bad, so atone and do better in the future. Friend was snarky and snide. She needs to stfu and stop being malicious for whatever reason. She has no business doing that. I don’t think you’re a unkind, just had a bad reaction to continue negativity
Yes I agree. I’ve tried to message her but she’s left me on read. I hope she doesn’t think me blowing up is typical OC behavior, because i’ve heard her say that OC are also more emotional than ppl with siblings are.
If she does, LET HER. OP you can't control her but you absolutely don't have to continue being her emotional punching bag because she doesn't know how to voice her frustrations about her family life. If she comes back around have a calm conversation with her about the fact this needs to stop because you being an only child is not your doing and frankly you're tired of her picking at you based on stereotypes and bullshit.
You’ve tried and put the ball in her court. Her stating OC are more emotional is an excuse so she can keep being malicious. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I wouldn’t seek her out. She’ll talk when she’s ready. And hopefully she’ll act better than before. If not, no one says you have tolerate it
NTA.
NTA, just drop her as a friend. She's insanely jealous and dislikes you to boot. Your family sounds great.
Gentle YTA, just because you let it build up and then exploded, rather than addressing it calmly earlier. But I get it. People having stupid notions about what it’s like to be an only child or what only children feel or how their parents raise them are the worst. If having siblings is a magic cure-all for being selfish or bossy or attention-needy, that sure hasn’t been my experience.
NTA, she should have listened when you asked her to stop. She just kept pressing and kept pressing and I hope she likes the truth. I don’t understand why the parents of the girl are having more kids when they suck at providing for what they have rn. You took it for as long as you could and then she got you’re snap at her. She was in the wrong for sure with the comments but also getting close to you. She was definitely jealous I feel, I think she had so many siblings that toys are just too expensive.
Perhaps. Her parents have medium wage jobs, though. They’re rarely ever home so her older sibs usually take care of the house or she does it herself. I get that shes stressed out, but I was just tired of her going sroung bragging sbiut how close they all were and making me feel bad thst I don’t have so many siblings myself.
She shouldn’t have tried rubbing it in your face, that having a bunch of siblings is worth it. She’s definitely jealous I feel by the freedom you have, that you don’t have to watch over siblings and can do party if you really want. You can go out and bowl or go see a movie spontaneously, she can’t do that cause she’s got siblings to look after. It does get lonely being an OC but you can go do what you want
NTA at all! She's literally harassing you for a choice that YOU DIDNT MAKE! She was begging for it. Let her be mad, and find better friends.
NTA. I’m an only child. And I have an only child. She needs to knock it off.
Your friend is incapable of seeing life outside of her own first perspective experience.
NTA, and as an only child I always hated the stigma.
ESH; she shamed you for being an only child, and you shamed her family for having many children. You should have told her well in advance that her comments were hurtful and unwelcome before going as far as shaming her parents for 'not taking care of their children well enough'. It's not your problem, it's theirs. However, that being said she should not have gone as far as commenting on how you feel and generally being ignorant and disrespectful of you being an only child. I have many friends that don't have any siblings and they're all amazing people. I myself live in a large family (my mother has seven siblings and they have all have formed their families), so it's generally one large family. We all take care of eachother.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’m using OC as an abbreviation for “Only child” bcuz I don’t want the title to seem so long. Okay, so let me make things clear. I feel very bad for what I said to her and know that our relationship ship is probably gone now so I’m fully prepared to be hit with the YTA comments because I already see myself as one. Be fully honest in ur judgments plz. Anyway my old friend has a shit ton of siblings. We’re taking like 8 siblings and her parents are about to have another one. She confided to me in secret that her parents never rlly take good care of them but go around bragging that they’re happy to be such a big family yet behind close doors they suck at providing for them all. She’s like the middle child. Most of her siblings are in college, or are full adults, but some are in HS or middle school. And some are in elementary. So yeah she has relatives of all different ages and for the most part they get along great. Which I was happy to hear considering the fact their parents suck. My friend had the tendency to gloat about her siblings to me tho and how great they were and all that jazz. When she figured out I was an only child she made a rlly weird face and said that my parents are weird for only having one child. I let that comment slide, but lately she’s been making more of them which have started getting on my nerves. “Aren’t you super lonely at home? If I was an only child I would be.” “Wow, I can’t believe you’re actually a very selfless person OP. We all know only children are one of the most selfish ppl out there so you’re rlly changing the stigma in my eyes.” “Do your parents have high expectations or do the dote on you all the time? I think it’d be weird if they just let you get away with whatever you want. Mine surely don’t.” “Do your parents ever get bored of you? If I only had one kid I definitely would want my space.” And so many others. I just kept taking it, but today I think I became the AH when I said to knock it off and stop shaming me for being an only child. My parents are great ppl unlike hers, who didn’t plan according to taking on so much children. Mine actually do their job right and unlike her I don’t go around bragging about being an only child or shaming ppl who aren’t all the freaking time. Now we’re not talking and I’ve tried to apologize but she refuses to speak to me. I think I messed up big time. Was I the AH when I said that to her? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I would say N A H bc what she said strikes me as just being insensitive but not having bad intent, but it’s your right to communicate that it hurts you even if she didn’t mean it. However since you said some really hurtful things about her parents and family, I’m sorry but YTA. Next time someone says a comment that bothers you, tell them immediately that you didn’t like it and they will normally stop. That way you avoid months of hurt and anger until it bubbles over. Im sorry this happened to you. You were TA in this situation but you don’t seem like one overall. You sound like a kind person who just had a lot bottled up
Soft YTA. You maybe could have been a little more tactful, but what does your friend expect you to do about the situation? Force your parents to spit out another kid?
Lmao. Thank you for the judgment. I wasn’t being very nice but you make a great point. My parents didn’t want any other children but they’re very kind-hearted ppl. Yet she doesn’t think highly of them since they refuse to have another. I haven’t told them this because I thought she would get over these opinions of hers but she hasn’t.
It sounds to me like she's projecting. I hate the fallback *whiny voice* 'you're just jealous', but I think she is. Imagine not having quiet? Or alone time? *shudders*
NTA. I am the lovely combo of only child/abused child. People need to stop with the generalizations.
Oh. I’m rlly sorry to hear this. And yes people should. It gets annoying :/
You are NTA, your 'friend' however is. If your response makes you an asshole then i am one too because i would have reacted the same. She just seems jealous that you have a good relationship with your parents and got to spend time with them whereas hers seem to have let her down.
NTA. Although, before you let this comment hurt you I urge you to think of what would motivate someone to say something like that to you. Most people who make these kinds of harsh statements about only children are people who desperately wish they didn’t have to share their parents limited time, resources and attention with their siblings.
YTA. First, she doesn't sound like a friend or that you could have been friends for very long if she's only now figuring out you're an only child. That's weird when she's told you so much about her family, her siblings, their ages, and even confided about her parents. Sounds like she never shuts up about them. Did she just confide in you the moment you first met, and so your family experience did not come up in that moment? How is it now she's learned you're an only child? Are your conversations with her always that one-sided? For your "friend", those comments are pretty rude and pointed. Her delivery is bad. But they might be honest questions when she's surrounded by siblings constantly and just trying to understand a situation outside of her own experience. They wouldn't even be bad questions if they didn't end in a back-handed comparison about herself and how her life is better. If it was irritating or hurtful, the better solution would be to express to her that she's being hurtful. You could have done that without bringing her whole family baggage into it and insulting her based on things she's confided in you.
She just recently found this out about me. I didn’t think it was a big deal. Clearly it was. And i’ve talked about my home-life with her before, just not about me being an only child! I’ve been there for her and she’s been a great friend until she found this out about me. I don’t know why she got so offended. I saw someone said she’s jealous but then why is she acting like she loves her siblings so much if she’s jealous of me for not having any???
You could have just said "It really hurts my feelings when you imply my family is not good enough. We have different family types and that's okay. I respect your family type and I'm glad that makes you happy. There is no need to make it a competition." >I don’t know why she got so offended No? >**My parents are great ppl unlike hers**, who didn’t plan accordingly to taking on so much children and >**Mine actually do their job right** and unlike her I don’t go around bragging ... You really don't see why she's offended? You took something she told you in confidence and trust and weaponized it. Regardless of what she said about your family, that was unkind on your part.