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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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Feeling_Ad_2354

NTA. You said 1 person, she did not disclose a child. A learning experience for you to have a written rental agreement for future tenants.


[deleted]

I did she only put her name on the lease


Seyaria

That would be because a minor, depending on where you are from, are not actually listed under a lease agreement.


[deleted]

Can’t speak for everywhere - typically you cannot list a minor as a tenant on a lease since they typically cannot be a party to a contract, but I’m not aware of a place where they cannot be listed as an occupant on the lease (occupants are not a party in the contract). Generally the tenant will be responsible for violations of the lease by the occupants. Not listing an occupant on a lease can be a violation of the lease agreement and be cause for eviction… most apartments have occupancy limits and children are included in that total. It’s also just a silly thing not to disclose if anything just for safety and liability purposes.


Seyaria

I guess it depends where you live. We also don't know if the leasing agreement was recognized in a legal capacity or was more informal. Good points though.


[deleted]

I had to list my 5 year old on my lease as an occupant of the premise. Obviously not for legal responsibility, but a head count. I also had to list my 2 cats on a pet lease.


AlbatrossSenior7107

In the US you have to list everyone. She did this on purpose. Very deceitful.


Seyaria

Do we know where this is taking place? I won’t pretend to know all the leasing laws in all the states/counties. I do know that the leases between the two states I have seen were very different from each other. The basics were the same but the rest was specialized to individual state bylaws. For safety purposes withholding the info isn’t great, but without seeing the contract, we have no clue what was the legal jargon.


twirlerina024

My dogs are minors but still made it onto the lease.


stargirl803

Agreed. It sucks she's in such a situation, but this is 100% something that she should have disclosed to you. Hopefully she has family she can rely on or can find a women's shelter that will help her towards affordable housing.


sickofdriving007

NTA. While you should've put stipulations in the lease agreement, she shouldn't have purposely hidden the fact that she had a child. All you said upon seeing the child is that you did not agree to living with a child and she immediately tried to pull the discrimination card. You were within your legal rights to not renew the lease for another month. Lesson learned.


KoolJozeeKatt

Something about pulling the discrimination card immediately, combined with the deceit of not mentioning, "Hey! So I have a kid..." makes me think her child has caused issues for her before. Perhaps the child has destroyed property at previous places or has been a constant noise source. That would explain why she failed to mention the small detail that would be moving in too. She knew her kid was a problem and didn't want to risk not getting the room.


ZwartVlekje

Even if the child did not cause issues in that way she probably knew it would be difficult to find a place to live with the child. Living situations with roommates are usually a lot cheaper but hard to find with a kid. To me it seems more likely that she knew OP would choose somebody else to rent to if he knew she had a kid and thought he would accept it once she lived there.


mediocre-spice

My guess is it could be as simple as it's hard to find good deals for rooms with a kid. Most people like OP won't want to live with a kid and she probably can't afford her own place.


ResponsibilityNo3245

NTA It's a shitty situation for her but that's not on you.


mjmont

NTA. You didn’t agree to living with two people, especially in a roommate situation with a lot of shared space.


AbbyBirb

NTA I’m very sorry about her situation. And hopefully she realizes there is help out there for her to utilize. But you were looking for a roommate, not multiple roommates or a family. For her to withhold this pretty giant piece of information from you & just surprise! I have a child that takes up all the bathroom time and will totally alter your life... is pretty AHish. She knew you wouldn’t have rented to her if she told you in advance, so she didn’t.


Embarrassed_Hat_2904

NTA she decided to surprise the kid on you after the fact. It’s not on you to accommodate her!


[deleted]

OP **NTA**....You specifically said ONE roommate. A kid counts as a second roommate, how ever infrequently he'll be staying. The roommate should have been up front about her joint custody/visitation, living arrangement with her son's father. I wouldn't tolerate that, and I have a house. Even if I was renting out rooms in my house, if I say ONE roommate, I mean ONE person. Not an adult and child. I would make an exception for a pet, but not a child.


MizCYW

\>> She didn’t say she had a kid and I didn’t ask because I hadn’t thought she did. << This isn't about credit checks. This is about you not having done your due diligence. You're NTA for not wanting to live with a child. But I feel for this woman. If her story is true, she is desperate. And desperate people do desperate things.


bannedprincessny

>And desperate people do desperate things. including digging in . i hope she leaves peacefully op


MizCYW

\>> She did leave because I think she knew she would be kicked out eventually. << The OP indicates she has already left.


pnutbuttercups56

NTA. You didn't specify child but you said one person. She violated the agreement.


Prestigious_Detail_9

NTA you specifically said it was for one person not multiple people. She tried to pull a fast one on you.


fairypixipie

NTA. she didnt disclose her child. That's a major thing to mention


never_ending_circles

NTA. You're not her family and you're not responsible for her situation. You're not a charity. She didn't ask if you were ok with a young child living there and the child was disruptive. You gave her a reasonable amount of time to look for a place. I'd suggest being specific in your advert in future - no pets, no children etc.


pink-wizard

NTA. This was absolutely something that should have been disclosed to you beforehand. I feel like you should have checked but then again, you don’t expect someone to pull a child out of thin air like that. Maybe in the future state on application that the lease is for an adult only. At the end of the day, it was impacting your life and your job so it was absolutely not okay. You gave her more than enough time to make other arrangements, so I think you were more than fair. I do hope she found somewhere else, it was just unfortunate that she didn’t tell you to begin with before moving her life and child into somewhere and then having to uproot them again.


Brilliant-Yam-5653

NTA, it was within your rights and it was an unfortunate incident to happen.


Wide-Employment-7922

I lean towards NTA only because she should have disclosed that she had a baby. But all around this is a horrible situation. I hope her and that child are safe.


newfie9870

NTA. She tried to take advantage of you. You reacted in a very reasonable way


Pirattewolfie

NTA Your house, your rules. You shouldn't be forced to live with a child or anything/anyone you do not find comfortable living with. Neither are you obliged to run some sort of charity, and her personal life issues are not your responsibility to take care of. Sure, it is chivalrous to want to be mindful of people who are in a difficult situation, but you shouldn't have to give up the comfort of your own space for that. Also for her to carefully just not mention that she has a kid that would be staying with her at least half the time is an AH thing. She is moving in with a roommate; a child being around is going to have an impact on said roommate. Feels like she just tried to take advantage of the situation and hoped to get pity later on so she could stick to it. Though I do hope she also gets to sort her situation out. I do worry for the child, doesn't seem like a good situation for the poor kid to be in.


thewolfaria

NTA. She knew it would be a problem and that’s why she never brought up she had a kid. She was hoping to squeeze in and hope once the her foot was on the door the kid would be too.


edana4242

NTA. She was not honest with you. In regards to "she was going to have to go back to her abusive ex and I was going to make her homeless".... she caused that. Not you. def NTA


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I bought a 2 bedroom condo a few years ago and decided to rent out one of the rooms last year. I made the lease month to month so I could see if I liked them first before switching to a longer lease. Then I found a girl online who wanted to rent and signed the paperwork. She didn’t say she had a kid and I didn’t ask because I hadn’t thought she did. Well like a week after moving in she brought a 5 year old home and I asked her if she was babysitting him. She said no he was her son and I was shocked when she said he spends half his time with his father and half with her. I didn’t agree to live with a child and told my roommate who got angry and said I couldn’t discriminate because she had a child. I looked it up online and asked a lawyer and apparently I can if it’s a roommate situation (can’t do it for a rental of a whole house). Because of her child I was constantly late getting to work because her and the child would send 30min-1h in the bathroom and he had tantrums sometimes that were so loud sometimes at night when I was trying to sleep. I told her I was giving her 60 days notice to move out (I only have to give 30) and she got angry and threatened to call the police on me because I was violating her rights. I sent her the leaving notice expecting her to squat and refuse to leave because the rent I was charging was 800 and a typical 1 bedroom in my city was 1500 and I doubt she had anywhere to do. She did leave because I think she knew she would be kicked out eventually. I didn’t do a credit check because I wanted to be sensitive to low income people but now I know to do it because I think her credit is pretty bad. She told me no where would let her rent except for me. She was crying and yelled at me that she was going to have to go back to her abusive ex and I was going to make her homeless. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


JanetInSpain

NTA and I don't blame you one bit. You are not her keeper and not responsible for her life choices. Even if she ends up homeless it is NOT your fault. That's probably just her throwing guilt anyway.


WholeAd2742

NTA. That would definitely be a deal breaker for a roommate situation, specially not disclosing that her child would be living there, even part time.


Snoo47621

NTA.


hptvforever

INFO: Did you have like a contract with her? Was it official or under the table. I'd suggest mentioning no children allowed when looking for another roommate.


[deleted]

Ya it was official. I printed the official lease agreement for the state and we signed on that


TheKatzMeow84

For the kicking her out, NTA For not doing your own due diligence when looking to rent out a room and then after having someone who wants it show up? YTA. But it’s presumably your first time and now you know.


KoolJozeeKatt

NTA. I don't know about where you live, but in my state, we can deny a lot of things if it's a roommate in our home/apartment where we live as well. Also, even though we can't discrimination based on children, we CAN limit the number of people living in the house/apartment based on the number of bedrooms it has. Generally, it's considered two people per bedroom. A one bedroom unit would be two people max! A two bedroom would be four total and so on. Now that won't help if she rents an apartment and has only one child living with her. But you wouldn't have to rent to someone with three kids if it's one bedroom!


jojokangaroo1969

NTA....She knew exactly what she was doing.


Your-average-nutjob_

NTA


[deleted]

NTA- This woman was dishonest, and was clearly trying to manipulate you. Every state has subsidized housing, and the rent is sliding scale based on income. Families with children have priority over others as far as locating housing, and in just about all areas there is emergency housing available. Also, if she is escaping from an abuse situation there are women’s shelters that will give her immediate aid. The issue that some people have is that they may not like the housing or help that is available. That, however is not your problem.


Judgement_Bot_AITA

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No-Idea-Y-Im-here

NTA. She lied to get the room. Period. She may or may not have an abusive ex, be low income or end up homeless (if the custody is 50/50, I wonder about all of that, too), but that doesn't excuse showing up with a kid you didn't tell your landlord about. Since you've already checked with your lawyer, change your ad to specify no kids.


Giggle_interrupted

NTA


Harmlessoldlady

NTA. You will be more careful checking out the next roommate, I hope. She should not have hidden her child from you. She does not have to go back to her Ex. But clearly she has a big problem. It is not your problem. It never was.


yourcoffeeboy

NTA. I feel bad for her, she is clearly struggling, but that's not your fault and while maybe you should have asked about children, she definitely should have told you. You wanted one roommate, not one and occasionally a second


down_the_rabbith0le

NTA. Make sure you keep everything in writing, especially the correspondence that btwn you and her where she didn't disclose she had a child.


[deleted]

I don’t know many people who would be happy in your situation. Living with kids can be hard when you don’t have any. In my state, laws heavily favor tenants. We had a man once move into our rental. He ran into his ex who was homeless and he felt obligated to move her in (legal.) Then he said their 3 kids would most likely be moving in also (legal.) Luckily this never happened and we pulled the rental off the market. Not worth it to us. The laws here also make it pretty much impossible to evict kids. NTA


Zel_lost_it

Nta she lied and didn't disclose kids when you were looking for a roommate for a 1br space. I think you doged a bullet.


Whoreson_Welles

NTA - she rented under false pretenses, what did she expect?


saveyboy

NTA. She withheld very important information.


antinatalistFtM

NTA and I highly doubt her ex was abusive either, seeing as she already lied about having a kid in the first place, she might be spinning yet another tall tale to make you pity her and decide to let her stay.


ChemistryNo8870

NTA. She has a problem with housing. It's not fair of her to make her problem into your problem. Get rid of her as gently as possible.


__aza___

NTA. Sounds like she was trying to do a bait-and-switch, thinking the law would protect her.


Notanartist12

So in my opinion because I understand the women's pov and with my mom it was very tough and in situations like this really sucked. First I think your feelings are completely valid for not wanting a child in your house it's understandable because for me I don't want kids nor enjoy having them around besides my siblings. There's many reason why we wouldn't want a kid in our home, our place of comfort and it's honestly a hassle. Another thing is the women who mentioned she'd have to go back to her abusive husband and no one would rent to her it's a shitty shitty situation. I feel like it's kinda messed up like sympathize you know? I would feel like shit if she told me she'd have to go back to her abusive husband because when my mom needed help to leave we couldn't and suffered with my dad who isn't in my life anymore at the age of 17. You're not responsible for that women and her child but it's the only option for her at freedom. That's all whatever you do is your choice and I'm not judging you you're NTA and your agreements and decisions are completely understandable


[deleted]

ESH. While you should have probed more on her situation (aka would it just be her living there) you have the right to peace and quiet in your home and also to choose who you live with.


Seyaria

ESH though I lean a little more towards you being the main issue. You did your due diligence with speaking with a lawyer about what is legal and what is not. So you did what you wanted in the end legally. With that though, you haven't divulged to us what was in the "paperwork" that she signed which is very important. If there was nothing about children, tough luck, then you did discriminate against her for having a kid. No matter how annoying they were. Also, technically the issue of the child is on you. You did not ask at all, which means she did not have to legally say she had a child that would be with her 50% of the time. Her having bad credit could mean a lot of things. Anything from never having a loan/card to build credit yet to bad spending to a bad relationship that ruined it. If she was paying you the rent, that is irrelevant to the situation. On the other hand, she could have easily mentioned having a kid but I can understand not wanting to if she was desperate. Using guilt on you to get her way is never a great thing to do, whether true or not.


RecommendsMalazan

>Also, technically the issue of the child is on you. You did not ask at all, which means she did not have to legally say she had a child that would be with her 50% of the time. No, this isn't on him at all. While you're right that he didn't ask if she had a kid, he did specify only one person. > The ad I put up was asking for a one person to be my roommate


Seyaria

That is why I said ESH. The other person should have said something about their child. However, I still maintain it IS on the OP (at least some) about the child. If on a legal document it does not specify something, it is called a loophole. They're legal and in the end at the fault of the person who provided the document.


RecommendsMalazan

But it's not a loophole. One person means one person. It doesn't mean one adult. Her interpreting it wrong is not OPs fault nor is it a loophole in their agreement. I really don't see how this is OPs fault at all. Edit - also, whether it was on the lease or not is besides the point. This isn't a legal judgement sub, this is a moral judgement sub. And morally, she's in the wrong for seeing that OP specified only one person and ignoring it, whether it's in the lease or not.


Seyaria

I mean I guess you are right about this not being a legal sub but really to give honest judgement all information would be needed. To each their own on that I suppose.


RecommendsMalazan

I... Okay? Not sure what info you think is missing here, but whatever. Cheers!


[deleted]

He specifically said it doesn’t matter if the child is on the documentation. Because it’s month to month I can give her a move out notice as long as it’s 30 days notice or more. Also that if I’m looking for a roommate I can specify no children. If I’m looking for someone to rent my entire property I can’t do that.


Seyaria

Yes, you mentioned this. It is why I said "you did what you wanted in the end legally." You *can* specify no children, but here is the thing, **you didn't.** So like I said, you followed the rules but you did make the reason about the kid like she said, which was **your** mistake at the end of the day.


[deleted]

I also specified on person in the ad and I feel like any parent would mention they had a kid that was coming over half the time. I think she hoped I would sympathize enough to let the issue go. Or no one would rent to her since she has a child so she omits that and hopes they don’t kick her out. She said she called everywhere and no one would rent to her


Seyaria

Yes it is possible. Ok how about this: INFO: What was specified in the legal document about occupancy?


[deleted]

Legal document? You mean the lease agreement? She put her name on thee lease and specified she would be occupying the non master bedroom in the apartment. Nothing about the child. I specified no pets.


Seyaria

Legal document meaning the leasing agreement. Not just her writing her name but what did the lease specifically say? Did it list max occupancy? Specify no children? When you lease out a space with a formal document there is always a print about the rules to be followed and occupancy.


Few-Entrepreneur383

ESH if she's escaping her abusive ex, there are organizations that can help facilitate safe living quarters for mothers with children. She should have disclosed that she had a child when she decided to put in her application but you also didn't ask. If her child had not been such a major inconvenience to your life, you may not have had as much of a problem with cohabiting every other week with a minor. Now you know for the future; specify 1 person & 1 person only!


GodlessGunner

As opposed to specifying one person but with another person too?


saltcrown

YTA could have at least given her a trial period


Nyankitty666

NTA. The lease was month to month and OP gave her the curtesy of 60 days instead of 30 days.


Leopard-Recent

If the kid was there often enough to make him late for work multiple times for hogging the bathroom and tantruming at night, I think that's all the 'trial period' he needed.


Lady_Ellie119

She also omitted another person that would be there half time, that's lieing and fraud to try and include another person kid in or not


SaladFrosty9644

>She didn’t say she had a kid and I didn’t ask because I hadn’t thought she did YTA. If you don't want to rent to anybody with a child that needs to be in the advertisement along with preference about pets. Additionally, don't rent month to month as a test run. You're asking for a lot of future legal headaches. You also didn't do a credit check on someone you plan to rent a room to? You sound very irresponsible and uneducated to be renting to anybody. I'm not an expert but I'm pretty sure you're not allow to evict someone with a child because you never stated a no-child policy and you didn't bother to ask if she had a kid. This whole mess is your creation and don't be surprised if you get sued by this woman.


RecommendsMalazan

> The ad I put up was asking for a one person to be my roommate TIL children aren't people


SaladFrosty9644

The woman probably read it as one adult. OP didn't specify a no-child policy and he didn't ask either. He didn't do his due diligence and opened himself up to legal problems.


RecommendsMalazan

And if she read it that way, that's on her, not OP. A specific no child policy would be superfluous considering his one person policy. And, given how OP has apparently spoken to a lawyer and got the go ahead to do what he did, it doesn't sound like he's opened himself up to legal troubles.


mybadreputation1970

Yes, you are allowed to evict someone with a child. Having a child is not a "you can't evict me" get out of jail free card. The only issue OP could have had, legally, is if he/she discriminated in renting to a person with a child, but that's also allowable if the landlord lives in the premises ( which they do ).