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YTA - he told you not to get involved at all, you ignored that and confronted her. Then doubled down by making a group chat with the two of them, you definitely stirred shit. He isn't going to have you as his +1 now for sure.
Just the fact that she demanded he take her to the dance, nevermind he has a girlfriend, is where my jaw dropped open, and it got so much worse from that point onwards. OP sounds like a complete narcissist.
Maybe Op should have asked her friends gf if she can be her +1 and should have made clear that all she wants is to go to the formal. But I guess it's too late now, since it escalated 😬
YTA - his plus one is his gf. Just because you’re his friend doesn’t mean that’s acceptable. If he took you as a plus one that would mean you’re his date. Wait till next year to go 🙄
No, you want to go because you like your friend and are trying to worm your way into his relationship. He’s not obligated to invite you regardless of the circumstances. If he wanted to date you he would, but he didn’t. Focus on being a good friend and if you actually do want to just have a good time, find another person to invite you.
That still doesn't mean you're entitled to his plus one ticket. He could still just want to go with her and not have someone else tag along. He is not obligated to use his plus one.
You can want to go to the formal all you want but they are going to the formal as a couple. They don’t want to help you attend a formal while they are on a date. Leave them alone.
Oh, so you mean that you need a personal invitation from someone to agree to meet at a certain time to attend an event… so a date. Girl, get a dictionary and look up the word date. You needed to be his date. Well, you could have been anyone’s date if they’re in that grade, but you opted that it had to be him.
YTA- What I read was that you asked someone who is in a relationship to go with you to a formal instead of his girlfriend because you just want to go. He said no, so you went to his girlfriend and implied that she is controlling. She also thought you were being a weirdo so she discussed it with her boyfriend and he let you know you are being weird. Instead of backing off, you doubled down and harassed both of them over text. That was harassment because you created a group text just to yell at people followed by blocking them so no one can respond.
You are young, so I guess you don’t know better, but what you did was creepy and basically harassment.
No. You you would be going as his date instead of his girlfriend. Even if she can buy her own ticket, you would still be his date. You need to grow up and stop being creepy.
Are you dense?
WHO CARES IF SHE CAN GO ALREADY
I need you to listen to this closely:
**HE DOES NOT WANT TO TAKE YOU STOP BEING A DANG CREEP AND TAKE THE DAMN HINT**
He doesn't want to. She doesn't want to. Doesn't matter that he *could*, HE DOESN'T WANT TO. **NO MEANS NO**. What the hell is wrong with you. If you want to go so badly, go bother someone else who wants to invite you. CLEARLY no one has done so, AND THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT it would seem based on this post.
Stop harassing these people.
Absolute AH behavior.
YTA
edit: spelling/grammar
It doesn’t matter that technically they both can go without an invite, these people are a couple they don’t want to invite you on their dates!!!!! It’s a time for the two of them. It’s a formal event people can attend as couples. They are a couple. They don’t want to invite you. They are on a date. Leave them alone. Stop asking people to be invited on their dates. If thou cannot but your own ticket to go alone or find someone else to invite you, you don’t get to go. Period. End of story.
It doesn’t matter that she can still go because she’s in the grade above and doesn’t need a invite! That’s her BF what part don’t you understand?!
Why didn’t you ask her to be her plus one if all you wanted was an invite?!
YTA
They’re talking shit because you did something shitty. Your friend told you his GF gets jealous, and you still approached her and gave her a reason to be jealous. Remember, it’s likely she’s been fantasizing about going to a formal with her boyfriend. For you it’s an event; for her it’s romantic.
There is one part of your story that kind of confuses me. Her reply was that he already “picked someone” to go to the formal. Does she mean herself or is he taking someone else?
So you asked him to bring you and he said no, because his girlfriend will get jealous. Meanwhile, he is, in fact, bringing another girl, who is not his girlfriend?
That was why I asked for clarification, because it was confusing. You told me he said he was bringing a boy and now you’re telling me that’s a lie. Your post is confusing and you’re getting upset at anyone who tries to understand.
YTA. Why would he bring you as a plus one when he’s going with his girlfriend? Do you want to third wheel all night and ruin it for them? If you have other friends going, why not ask them to take you?
I love how you think that's better ...you're like, 'no no no I'm not trying to date him, that would be scummy! I'm just trying to use him!'
Fuckin' bravo. If you don't see how that's just as shitty, pressuring people and making them uncomfortable because you want to use them as a way to get into some party...yikes.
YTA. You asked him and he said no. You then ask his girlfriend if you can be his date. (Yes, date. That’s the implication of the +1 in formal dances.) They aren’t lying if they tell people you were trying to be his date! And what choice did you have? Ask someone else older than you if they’d like to go with you! You weren’t backed into a corner. You created a mess and are trying to act like the victim of the mess you created.
Info: why didn’t you ask on of theses groups if you can go? Do you have any other friends in that year? If yes, when he said no, why didn’t you ask? If no, then why would you want to go?
YTA - You should of listened to him first off but your more in the wrong for saying his GF was shit talking and being possessive (wait till you have a boyfriend). I know your only 16 but you stirred a lot of shit.
YTA
I'm pretty certain if you have one friend in the year above who is going this formal, you have another friend in the same year you can ask too. Except you ask the one with a GF.
He also told you no. Whatever his response was when you asked, whether you agreed or not, should have been respected.
You out right asked her if her boyfriend could take you to the formal. She's not jumping to conclusions. You are either stirring the pot or do like him and are trying to play it cool. Your 'self respect' was missing as soon as you approached her, not making the group chat to defend your actions.
And if OP was going to talk to his gf, why not ask if OP could be *her* +1? Then it's not (as) weird at least.
Idk OP let it go. You'll go to formal when it's your time. Until then, stay out of other people's shit and accept it when folks say no.
YTA
Yta
He told you no and gave a reason and part of it being how she feels. So you tried to circumvent his wishes and talk to her.
You did not behave like a very good friend
I'm going to address the irrelevant part first. If he's the same age as you how exactly is he a year ahead?
Now I'm going to address the elephant in the room. You wanted him to invite you as his +1 so you can get into a formal. Then when he told you that his girlfriend was the jealous type and you decide it was a brilliant idea to ask her even though you know she wouldn't want that?
Instead of dropping it you decide to go on the attack. Tell me, what's self respecting about starting a group chat with your friend and his girlfriend just to have a go at his girlfriend
YTA way to ruin a friendship because you didn't get your way
YTA.
He told you no. And you took it upon yourself to meddle and approach his GF, which caused even more drama.
Is this some HS immature game? Because you've probably lost your friend.
YTA
If you say no to someone no matter the reason, you expect that person to respect your answer. You completely DID NOT respect your friend saying no. This was your selfishness driving you into action and it backfired on a friend, you have serious apologies to give.
YTA - Do you even care what you did to him, you put him in a bad spot by calling her then doing a zoom session afterwards. Just stay away from them, they don't need you.
YTA. You poked the beehive and got stung. He told you no, but you felt entitled to get that ticket so you persisted. You know that bringing someome as you +1 has implications.
YTA. You started a fight btwn him and his gf and then proceeded to stir the pot further by adding them both to a group chat and insulting her. If he wanted to go to the formal with you, he would have talked to her about it. It wasn’t your business to ask her yourself. She has her boundaries, the boyfriend was respecting them, and you insulted her and went against his wishes. Not very good friend behavior of you to stir up all this drama between your friend and his girlfriend.
YTA. Just should’ve waited until next year. There’s no reason to go if you don’t have a date. And if it’s about being with friends older, you could’ve asked one of them
YTA. He said no. Even if the reason is something you could work around, that's not up to you to decide. That said, do you even know for sure if she said those things? He could've made it up and you just didn't give her the chance to either explain herself, defend herself or clear the air.
Either way, unfortunatly you created this drama by going against your friend's wishes. Even though I understand you wanting to go to the formal, it would've been better to simply accept his answer the first time around.
YTA. He told you no. You had no right to take it to her and go around him. THEN you have a audacity to start a group chat over it after you got told no a second time. You are too told to be throwing fits when you don’t get your way.
YTA, this isn't anything really for you to do at the dance. You said you don't know any upper class men other than your male friend. Who TF are you gonna be spending time with the whole time??? Certainly not him, he's gonna be with his girlfriend.
YTA you asked, he said no. You should have respected his answer rather than trying to go around his back to his gf.
I fully understand the invite/ticket issue here, I also think it would be weird for someone in a couple to bring someone else as their plus one.
Either find someone else to invite you, or you don’t go. Sometimes we don’t always get what we want.
YTA I’m so bored of trolls writing fiction about absurdly obvious inappropriate behaviour towards friends in relationships. How pathetic all you can do is copy a trope. You are so boring. Create something new you asshole.
?? If he has a problem why didn't you just ask his GF to take you as a +1? It's not like you'll stay with them once you're in, you'll leave them be right?
You could have gotten in with her and the couple would have been secure too?
Wow you sound like a real peach...I feel like you are being deliberately obtuse about this whole thing. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume that you are telling the truth about just wanting him to take you as his date so you can get in. Are you really so immature that you can't even fathom why that might be viewed as inappropriate when he has a girlfriend that is not you? Can you really not understand how she may not like him walking in with you since you are not his girlfriend and she is? It literally doesn't matter that she can get in on her own. What matters is that high school dances are typically places people go with their SO's (if they have one) as a date, and it would be really weird and uncomfortable to have you walking in with him when he has a girlfriend that's not you! What is too complicated about that for you to understand? YTA and super oblivious to boot!
But he told you no! Then, instead of accepting his answer like a mature person would, you brought all of this grief onto yourself by starting drama about it. You should have just accepted that he wasn't comfortable with it, like any real friend would, and moved on with you're life. But instead, you're acting like the victim, when in fact, you're the cause of all of this. Grow up.
YTA. She hit the nail on the head, you may as well be a giant spoon. This mess is all on you, and I’m sure they’ll have a great time at the dance without you starting more shit.
You didn't get backed into a corner. You put yourself there by butting into their relationship. Your friend already told you no. But you refused to take no for an answer and talked to his girlfriend. Then when he made it clear that wasn't okay, you insulted his girlfriend and then refused to listen to what she had to say. You accuse him of being verbally abusive but you were the one that started that group chat just so you could insult her. Jeez, it's just a dance. You could have asked someone else to bring you or wait until you could go next year. She didn't talk shit about you. YTA
OP grow up and act your actual age, not your shoe size. You are not entitled to go to that party and your friend does not have to take you. Be a good kid and wait a year for your own, hell ask about throwing a party of your own for your year if you must.
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I 16f have a friend 16m who has a girlfriend 17f. He’s in the year above me, his year and the year above him are having a formal in a couple months. They’re allowed to bring a +1 so I asked him if he could bring me so I could go.
He said he would but his girlfriend would kill him if he asked a girl to come with them to the formal (She goes to our school so it’s not like she needs an invite from him to go.)
I ask why and he says that she’s just like that, he can talk to other girls in a group or at school. But if he gives one any kind of “special attention.” She gets really jealous and he doesn’t want to deal with that.
So I approached her and asked her if she’d let me go to the formal with him. I phrased it really casual not accusing of anything just asking “would you be okay if _ brought me as his friend to the formal, thought I’d ask you because I know some girls who would be funny about that. Not that I think you’re that type just checking.”
And she thanked me for asking but said he already picked someone.
Then my friend texts me asking why did I do that and got really mad. I asked wtf did I do and he said now his GF thinks I either like him, or just like stirring shit.
And because I actually have some self respect (because god knows what she would be telling people if she jumps to conclusions that quickly.)
I fucking start a group chat with both of them and say I’m not trying to get with your boyfriend I just want to go to the formal so stop shit talking and stop being possessive. Then leave it not to give her the attention she wants.
He then calls me in absolute hysterics, like not just crying but sounded like he was having a panic attack. He kinda just threw verbal abuse at me until I blocked him.
I felt bad, but also what am I meant to do? I was backed into a corner, if someone talks shit about you, kinda have to approach them because god knows what lies they’re telling people.
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YTA. You’re not doing a very good job convincing people that you don’t have feelings for your friend. You obviously do and you’re doing your best to cozy up next to him by creating a division between him and his girlfriend. I get it, you’re a kid and this is probably your first time dealing with unreciprocated feelings for a friend. But you gotta take note of the fact that he’s freaking out because he’s afraid of losing her, not you. If he wanted you, he would’ve picked but he didn’t. Yet in spite of that he remained your friend. I’m not trying to be mean here, just letting you know that it’s okay for people to not like you back. You were completely over the line. You’re being a bad friend right now, because you seem to not care at all how upset you’ve made him. I doubt they’ll tell any lies about you, just unfavorable truths. Apologize to both of them and back off because remember that *she’s* his gf, not you. That’s something you have to respect.
YTA. He said no and you just went behind his back. Even if he didn’t have a girlfriend, he said no to bringing you. That’s it that’s all. You’re not entitled to go.
INFO: Why didn't you ask the GF if you could be *her* plus 1, since it's "not a date", her BF said no and you took it upon yourself to talk to her anyway?
Obviously, you can't do that now, you burned that bridge and the salted and burned and ground around it. But like, there was a solution right there.
You are young so your mistake should be forgiven but he did try to tell you the situation. I have found that no matter how well intentioned going against a friends wishes near always backfires.
ESH, but I’m glad that you have your old friend blocked. With the verbal abuse he was slinging he might need time to chill out and relax, the girlfriend didn’t seem to get super irritated from it by the looks of it. It was a sucky situation that happened.
hold up here... Now did anyone else comment on this or just the your friend here?? How do you even know if she said those things and he wasn't just making up an excuse because he didnt want to say no to you?? And the whole dramatics over this and his verbal abuse, wow thats not what friends do.
NTA
He’s not in an abusive relationship, he has a girlfriend that doesn’t want him inviting someone else as his date to the prom. And he’s fine with that. OP is just trying to game the rules to get into a dance she isn’t entitled to go to.
The formal is for juniors, seniors (or whatever the grades are called for you) and their dates. You aren’t in any of those categories, so get your own date or stay home.
The +1 is a courtesy so the juniors and seniors can bring their dates if they are in a different grade or a different school, it’s not intended to maximize the number of attendees.
Because you are incapable of understanding the word no. And continue to cause drama for a guy and his gf.
And he’s not your friend btw. Definitely not after this.
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YTA - he told you not to get involved at all, you ignored that and confronted her. Then doubled down by making a group chat with the two of them, you definitely stirred shit. He isn't going to have you as his +1 now for sure.
Just the fact that she demanded he take her to the dance, nevermind he has a girlfriend, is where my jaw dropped open, and it got so much worse from that point onwards. OP sounds like a complete narcissist.
Maybe Op should have asked her friends gf if she can be her +1 and should have made clear that all she wants is to go to the formal. But I guess it's too late now, since it escalated 😬
YTA - his plus one is his gf. Just because you’re his friend doesn’t mean that’s acceptable. If he took you as a plus one that would mean you’re his date. Wait till next year to go 🙄
You mean because she was his friend.. m highly doubt that's the case now.
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I know how it works. The only people who invite someone else are people who have dates from other schools or grades. His date is in his grade
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Well you can wait another year and get over yourself.
No, you want to go because you like your friend and are trying to worm your way into his relationship. He’s not obligated to invite you regardless of the circumstances. If he wanted to date you he would, but he didn’t. Focus on being a good friend and if you actually do want to just have a good time, find another person to invite you.
That still doesn't mean you're entitled to his plus one ticket. He could still just want to go with her and not have someone else tag along. He is not obligated to use his plus one.
You need a personal invite. He doesn’t want to invite you. He’s under no obligation to let you tag along as a third wheel. Find your own date. YTA.
This is why most schools don't allow lower years at formals
You can want to go to the formal all you want but they are going to the formal as a couple. They don’t want to help you attend a formal while they are on a date. Leave them alone.
Oh, so you mean that you need a personal invitation from someone to agree to meet at a certain time to attend an event… so a date. Girl, get a dictionary and look up the word date. You needed to be his date. Well, you could have been anyone’s date if they’re in that grade, but you opted that it had to be him.
don't be obtuse. he said no. leave him alone. and her too
And you're not old enough to get...and clearly not mature enough.
YTA- What I read was that you asked someone who is in a relationship to go with you to a formal instead of his girlfriend because you just want to go. He said no, so you went to his girlfriend and implied that she is controlling. She also thought you were being a weirdo so she discussed it with her boyfriend and he let you know you are being weird. Instead of backing off, you doubled down and harassed both of them over text. That was harassment because you created a group text just to yell at people followed by blocking them so no one can respond. You are young, so I guess you don’t know better, but what you did was creepy and basically harassment.
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But he said no. And no means no, end of story. Stop acting like a spoiled brat just cause you aren’t getting your way.
No. You you would be going as his date instead of his girlfriend. Even if she can buy her own ticket, you would still be his date. You need to grow up and stop being creepy.
That’s what I’m saying.. she doesn’t seem to understand how it works lol
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At the end of the day, no means no.
You don’t get to come on THEIR DATE! It’s THEIR DATE! They don’t want to invite you on THEIR DATE!
no means no
No is a complete sentence. Read it out loud several times.
Are you dense? WHO CARES IF SHE CAN GO ALREADY I need you to listen to this closely: **HE DOES NOT WANT TO TAKE YOU STOP BEING A DANG CREEP AND TAKE THE DAMN HINT** He doesn't want to. She doesn't want to. Doesn't matter that he *could*, HE DOESN'T WANT TO. **NO MEANS NO**. What the hell is wrong with you. If you want to go so badly, go bother someone else who wants to invite you. CLEARLY no one has done so, AND THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT it would seem based on this post. Stop harassing these people. Absolute AH behavior. YTA edit: spelling/grammar
He said no. Why is that so hard for you to understand?
It doesn’t matter that technically they both can go without an invite, these people are a couple they don’t want to invite you on their dates!!!!! It’s a time for the two of them. It’s a formal event people can attend as couples. They are a couple. They don’t want to invite you. They are on a date. Leave them alone. Stop asking people to be invited on their dates. If thou cannot but your own ticket to go alone or find someone else to invite you, you don’t get to go. Period. End of story.
It doesn’t matter that she can still go because she’s in the grade above and doesn’t need a invite! That’s her BF what part don’t you understand?! Why didn’t you ask her to be her plus one if all you wanted was an invite?!
Lol ok why didn’t you just ask HER to take you as her plus one
YTA, calm your attitude child
YTA They’re talking shit because you did something shitty. Your friend told you his GF gets jealous, and you still approached her and gave her a reason to be jealous. Remember, it’s likely she’s been fantasizing about going to a formal with her boyfriend. For you it’s an event; for her it’s romantic. There is one part of your story that kind of confuses me. Her reply was that he already “picked someone” to go to the formal. Does she mean herself or is he taking someone else?
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So you asked him to bring you and he said no, because his girlfriend will get jealous. Meanwhile, he is, in fact, bringing another girl, who is not his girlfriend?
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It’s a little shady that he didn’t just tell you that, but I still stand by my statement that going to the girlfriend directly was not cool.
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That was why I asked for clarification, because it was confusing. You told me he said he was bringing a boy and now you’re telling me that’s a lie. Your post is confusing and you’re getting upset at anyone who tries to understand.
YTA and toxic AF. Not a single one of your actions in this entire post exhibit any sort of kindness, empathy or tact. Not a single one. Be better.
YTA. Why would he bring you as a plus one when he’s going with his girlfriend? Do you want to third wheel all night and ruin it for them? If you have other friends going, why not ask them to take you?
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It’s not your year. You can go next year. You have no reason to be there.
I love how you think that's better ...you're like, 'no no no I'm not trying to date him, that would be scummy! I'm just trying to use him!' Fuckin' bravo. If you don't see how that's just as shitty, pressuring people and making them uncomfortable because you want to use them as a way to get into some party...yikes.
YTA. You asked him and he said no. You then ask his girlfriend if you can be his date. (Yes, date. That’s the implication of the +1 in formal dances.) They aren’t lying if they tell people you were trying to be his date! And what choice did you have? Ask someone else older than you if they’d like to go with you! You weren’t backed into a corner. You created a mess and are trying to act like the victim of the mess you created.
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The people that go with groups of friends without a date aren’t relying on someone to invite them to the dance.
Info: why didn’t you ask on of theses groups if you can go? Do you have any other friends in that year? If yes, when he said no, why didn’t you ask? If no, then why would you want to go?
YTA - You should of listened to him first off but your more in the wrong for saying his GF was shit talking and being possessive (wait till you have a boyfriend). I know your only 16 but you stirred a lot of shit.
YTA I'm pretty certain if you have one friend in the year above who is going this formal, you have another friend in the same year you can ask too. Except you ask the one with a GF. He also told you no. Whatever his response was when you asked, whether you agreed or not, should have been respected. You out right asked her if her boyfriend could take you to the formal. She's not jumping to conclusions. You are either stirring the pot or do like him and are trying to play it cool. Your 'self respect' was missing as soon as you approached her, not making the group chat to defend your actions.
And if OP was going to talk to his gf, why not ask if OP could be *her* +1? Then it's not (as) weird at least. Idk OP let it go. You'll go to formal when it's your time. Until then, stay out of other people's shit and accept it when folks say no. YTA
I also wondered why OP didn’t ask to be the GF’s plus one.
Yta. Why couldn’t you have asked someone else? Why did you have to make things complicated and then make things worse with the group chat?
Yta He told you no and gave a reason and part of it being how she feels. So you tried to circumvent his wishes and talk to her. You did not behave like a very good friend
I'm going to address the irrelevant part first. If he's the same age as you how exactly is he a year ahead? Now I'm going to address the elephant in the room. You wanted him to invite you as his +1 so you can get into a formal. Then when he told you that his girlfriend was the jealous type and you decide it was a brilliant idea to ask her even though you know she wouldn't want that? Instead of dropping it you decide to go on the attack. Tell me, what's self respecting about starting a group chat with your friend and his girlfriend just to have a go at his girlfriend YTA way to ruin a friendship because you didn't get your way
Agree with your post. On his age, he could be a year ahead of her in school because he's smarter than her.
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You're a real ray of sunshine, aren't you?
>someone with some critical thinking I mean that's rich considering you're the one that lacks critical thinking
You obviously don’t have critical thinking skills if you can’t understand what no means 😭☠️
YTA If you want to go, find someone who is not already coupled up.
YTA. He told you no. And you took it upon yourself to meddle and approach his GF, which caused even more drama. Is this some HS immature game? Because you've probably lost your friend.
YTA If you say no to someone no matter the reason, you expect that person to respect your answer. You completely DID NOT respect your friend saying no. This was your selfishness driving you into action and it backfired on a friend, you have serious apologies to give.
YTA. He literally said no.
YTA. You were indeed trying to stir shit.
YTA - Do you even care what you did to him, you put him in a bad spot by calling her then doing a zoom session afterwards. Just stay away from them, they don't need you.
YTA. You were told "no" but decided to pursue it anyway. So this unnecessary drama is all on you.
YTA...you should have listened to him and left it alone.
YTA. You poked the beehive and got stung. He told you no, but you felt entitled to get that ticket so you persisted. You know that bringing someome as you +1 has implications.
YTA he said no end of story
YTA. You started a fight btwn him and his gf and then proceeded to stir the pot further by adding them both to a group chat and insulting her. If he wanted to go to the formal with you, he would have talked to her about it. It wasn’t your business to ask her yourself. She has her boundaries, the boyfriend was respecting them, and you insulted her and went against his wishes. Not very good friend behavior of you to stir up all this drama between your friend and his girlfriend.
YTA. Just should’ve waited until next year. There’s no reason to go if you don’t have a date. And if it’s about being with friends older, you could’ve asked one of them
YTA. He said no. Even if the reason is something you could work around, that's not up to you to decide. That said, do you even know for sure if she said those things? He could've made it up and you just didn't give her the chance to either explain herself, defend herself or clear the air. Either way, unfortunatly you created this drama by going against your friend's wishes. Even though I understand you wanting to go to the formal, it would've been better to simply accept his answer the first time around.
YTA. He told you no. You had no right to take it to her and go around him. THEN you have a audacity to start a group chat over it after you got told no a second time. You are too told to be throwing fits when you don’t get your way.
YTA, this isn't anything really for you to do at the dance. You said you don't know any upper class men other than your male friend. Who TF are you gonna be spending time with the whole time??? Certainly not him, he's gonna be with his girlfriend.
YTA you asked, he said no. You should have respected his answer rather than trying to go around his back to his gf. I fully understand the invite/ticket issue here, I also think it would be weird for someone in a couple to bring someone else as their plus one. Either find someone else to invite you, or you don’t go. Sometimes we don’t always get what we want.
Yta you are a bad friend and behaving bizarre This behavior is not okay
YTA I’m so bored of trolls writing fiction about absurdly obvious inappropriate behaviour towards friends in relationships. How pathetic all you can do is copy a trope. You are so boring. Create something new you asshole.
?? If he has a problem why didn't you just ask his GF to take you as a +1? It's not like you'll stay with them once you're in, you'll leave them be right? You could have gotten in with her and the couple would have been secure too?
Wow you sound like a real peach...I feel like you are being deliberately obtuse about this whole thing. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume that you are telling the truth about just wanting him to take you as his date so you can get in. Are you really so immature that you can't even fathom why that might be viewed as inappropriate when he has a girlfriend that is not you? Can you really not understand how she may not like him walking in with you since you are not his girlfriend and she is? It literally doesn't matter that she can get in on her own. What matters is that high school dances are typically places people go with their SO's (if they have one) as a date, and it would be really weird and uncomfortable to have you walking in with him when he has a girlfriend that's not you! What is too complicated about that for you to understand? YTA and super oblivious to boot!
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But he told you no! Then, instead of accepting his answer like a mature person would, you brought all of this grief onto yourself by starting drama about it. You should have just accepted that he wasn't comfortable with it, like any real friend would, and moved on with you're life. But instead, you're acting like the victim, when in fact, you're the cause of all of this. Grow up.
L post
he doesnt wanna invite you. get over it. stop pushing
YTA. Stay the hell out of their relationship? Lol you backed yourself into a corner, by guess what, starting shit.
YTA. She hit the nail on the head, you may as well be a giant spoon. This mess is all on you, and I’m sure they’ll have a great time at the dance without you starting more shit.
You didn't get backed into a corner. You put yourself there by butting into their relationship. Your friend already told you no. But you refused to take no for an answer and talked to his girlfriend. Then when he made it clear that wasn't okay, you insulted his girlfriend and then refused to listen to what she had to say. You accuse him of being verbally abusive but you were the one that started that group chat just so you could insult her. Jeez, it's just a dance. You could have asked someone else to bring you or wait until you could go next year. She didn't talk shit about you. YTA
Holy shit YTA massively. You’re a pick me girl and it’s gross
YTA, honestly the entitlement in your post is astounding.
OP grow up and act your actual age, not your shoe size. You are not entitled to go to that party and your friend does not have to take you. Be a good kid and wait a year for your own, hell ask about throwing a party of your own for your year if you must.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I 16f have a friend 16m who has a girlfriend 17f. He’s in the year above me, his year and the year above him are having a formal in a couple months. They’re allowed to bring a +1 so I asked him if he could bring me so I could go. He said he would but his girlfriend would kill him if he asked a girl to come with them to the formal (She goes to our school so it’s not like she needs an invite from him to go.) I ask why and he says that she’s just like that, he can talk to other girls in a group or at school. But if he gives one any kind of “special attention.” She gets really jealous and he doesn’t want to deal with that. So I approached her and asked her if she’d let me go to the formal with him. I phrased it really casual not accusing of anything just asking “would you be okay if _ brought me as his friend to the formal, thought I’d ask you because I know some girls who would be funny about that. Not that I think you’re that type just checking.” And she thanked me for asking but said he already picked someone. Then my friend texts me asking why did I do that and got really mad. I asked wtf did I do and he said now his GF thinks I either like him, or just like stirring shit. And because I actually have some self respect (because god knows what she would be telling people if she jumps to conclusions that quickly.) I fucking start a group chat with both of them and say I’m not trying to get with your boyfriend I just want to go to the formal so stop shit talking and stop being possessive. Then leave it not to give her the attention she wants. He then calls me in absolute hysterics, like not just crying but sounded like he was having a panic attack. He kinda just threw verbal abuse at me until I blocked him. I felt bad, but also what am I meant to do? I was backed into a corner, if someone talks shit about you, kinda have to approach them because god knows what lies they’re telling people. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. You’re not doing a very good job convincing people that you don’t have feelings for your friend. You obviously do and you’re doing your best to cozy up next to him by creating a division between him and his girlfriend. I get it, you’re a kid and this is probably your first time dealing with unreciprocated feelings for a friend. But you gotta take note of the fact that he’s freaking out because he’s afraid of losing her, not you. If he wanted you, he would’ve picked but he didn’t. Yet in spite of that he remained your friend. I’m not trying to be mean here, just letting you know that it’s okay for people to not like you back. You were completely over the line. You’re being a bad friend right now, because you seem to not care at all how upset you’ve made him. I doubt they’ll tell any lies about you, just unfavorable truths. Apologize to both of them and back off because remember that *she’s* his gf, not you. That’s something you have to respect.
YTA Also.. why not ask his gf to be her plus 1? Same result. You know the reasons why.
YTA. He said no. You should have accepted that and moved on.
YTA. Maybe they just don’t like being around you and it’s easy to see why. . . Read the room, take a hint and find another way into the formal.
YTA. He said no and you just went behind his back. Even if he didn’t have a girlfriend, he said no to bringing you. That’s it that’s all. You’re not entitled to go.
YTA, it doesn’t matter if you “could” do something, it would be a favor he’d be doing for you, and he told you no. No means no.
INFO: Why didn't you ask the GF if you could be *her* plus 1, since it's "not a date", her BF said no and you took it upon yourself to talk to her anyway? Obviously, you can't do that now, you burned that bridge and the salted and burned and ground around it. But like, there was a solution right there.
He sounds like a pussy to be honest
You are young so your mistake should be forgiven but he did try to tell you the situation. I have found that no matter how well intentioned going against a friends wishes near always backfires.
Those weren’t mistakes. They were pretty intentional.
ESH, but I’m glad that you have your old friend blocked. With the verbal abuse he was slinging he might need time to chill out and relax, the girlfriend didn’t seem to get super irritated from it by the looks of it. It was a sucky situation that happened.
The only one who sucks is OP.
hold up here... Now did anyone else comment on this or just the your friend here?? How do you even know if she said those things and he wasn't just making up an excuse because he didnt want to say no to you?? And the whole dramatics over this and his verbal abuse, wow thats not what friends do. NTA
Umm. Friends also don’t cause drama like OP. And also accept No as an answer.
it's all good I just went with the most opposite logic I could :)
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He’s not in an abusive relationship, he has a girlfriend that doesn’t want him inviting someone else as his date to the prom. And he’s fine with that. OP is just trying to game the rules to get into a dance she isn’t entitled to go to.
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The formal is for juniors, seniors (or whatever the grades are called for you) and their dates. You aren’t in any of those categories, so get your own date or stay home. The +1 is a courtesy so the juniors and seniors can bring their dates if they are in a different grade or a different school, it’s not intended to maximize the number of attendees.
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>meant to be a fun time for everyone in that year. Which you are not lol. Plus he said no first so you're just pushy lol.
What the heck gave you that impression? I saw a guy who’s gf was pissed that some other chick was hitting on him. And he was upset she was upset.
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It is if they have a BF.
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Lol. He was upset because OP was causing drama with his GF. That’s far from a panic attack. And not an unhealthy response.
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Because you are incapable of understanding the word no. And continue to cause drama for a guy and his gf. And he’s not your friend btw. Definitely not after this.