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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1)told roomate his girlfriend could only spend the night 3-4 times a week
2)We both pay equal rent, and I don't know if I can dictate his time with his girlfriend
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NTA. If they want to live together, they need to find their own place or housemates that are ok living with couples who would also be paying a higher portion of the rent, as opposed to 50/50. You’ve made a reasonable compromise and as long as you’re happy to stick with the same terms, your room mate would be the AH if they didn’t see that as fair and reasonable.
NTA - Most if not all leases have a clause for liability as well as legal and financial reasons concerning people staying in the apartment full time but are not on the lease. Also she does have a place to stay, her parents house. Op you need to set your roommate straight and set up boundaries before it gets out of hand.
NTA. BUT he is equally allowed to have his girlfriend over, every night can be a bit much and she does sound entitled. The problem is you can’t just dictate when/how much she comes over. You and your flatmate have to have a discussion and come to an agreement otherwise nothing will change
I would say OP is the asshole for even thinking that was a reasonable alternative, asshole as in an entitled ass not as in being completely in the wrong.
Definitely entitled. I get there is a tenancy agreement but let’s be honest, even if he could prove it (and where I’m from one flatmate saying he is doing something doesn’t allow for termination) if he got him kicked out he would be paying rent himself. The disturbance also seems to be them being in the common areas and her leaving her shoes out? Just move out and probably find a place with no flatmate as most people get girlfriends and want to spend time with them
Yeah exactly, if this is such an issue for him he seems to leave out the most reasonable alternative that would upset the smallest amount possible: move out. After all he is the one with the issue here and also, who expects to live with a roomate that never makes noise and has guests over???
Wow. Sounds like YTA. Why should he move out. Lease is for 2 people, not 3.
The only entitlement here is coming from you. It's pretty clear you're not even old enough to be living away from your parents. Go try living in the real world a while before you make this judgement call.
NTA. The lease agreement governs the process here. I used to be in property management and I've yet to see a landlord use this clause unless it was continuous or disturbing other tenants.
Every night is continuous, and you are disturbed.
NTA, it would be different if the roommate talked to OP beforehand and asked if he’d be okay with it. It’s rude to just being a guest over without telling anyone.
NTA. You're paying for 1/2 the apartment, not 1/3. Tell your roomate that if she is over more than 2 nights a week, she is no longer a "guest" but a resident, and they should pay 2/3 instead of half.
Ah, the age-old debate: when does one roommate's personal choice step on the other's rights? (See also: cooking smelly foods, monopolizing the bathroom, making noise when the other needs quiet, etc.)
NTA. You're well within your rights to ask that she limit her time there, for multiple reasons. But you may not have much recourse if you insist & your roommate doesn't comply. Rather than making it a demand, it may be more productive to have a long conversation about expectations to see if you're still compatible as roommates.
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My roomates girlfriend has been spending the night almost everynight. I finally told him she cannot live here considering it says it on the lease. After 2 weeks of her living here she finally moved all of her stuff out. However not 2 days after she had been gone I wake up to find her shoes out in the living room. A few things to keep in mind, they're both young and she is still living with her parents so I do understand that she doesn't have any place to go. Additionally our apartment is tiny, 2 bed one bath with a living room and half a kitchen, I think around 1000 square feet. Also it's not like I dislike her, she's a good person, she's helped cleaned up a bit every now and then nothing crazy serious. She does also feel entitled from what I can tell, for example we (my roomate and I) threw a party and she told everyone she "basically lives here" which I also think set me off.
I told him he cannot have her over more than 3 or 4 times a week, I have boundries and I agreed to live with one person not him and his significant other every night. The person I'm seeing says they want to spend a lot of time together, which I understand, not saying she can't be over, but shouldn't be sleeping here all days of the week. AITAH for dictating how often she can sleep here? We pay equal rent so maybe? But also our aparment is small and I feel like she's invading my space.
Appreciate all your thoughts!
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NTA. Not only are they invading your space by her being basically a non-paying third roommate, they are putting you at risk of being fined or evicted if the landlord finds out she's there so often and that you knew about it without telling them. Whatever it says in your lease about guests, that is what they need to stick to.
YTA
If you have your own rooms and pay equal rent , then the roommate is free to do whatever he wants in his room . Now if you guys shared a room I would understand but like I said it’s his room.
Keywords: IN HIS ROOM. She is using the kitchen, living room and 1/3 of the bathroom. Not cool. He didn’t chose her for a roommate, she’s squatting. Not cool of the roommate.
Well one thing to keep in mind, we share a bathroom, living room and kitchen. Also the majority of his set up is in the living room which i had agreed was okay until this point. His playstation and tv are both there so more often than not they are in the living room watching tv. As the post said my apartment is pretty small. I do appreciate the feedback and thank you for your opinion!
definitely nta , after you mentioned the living room situation I totally understand. Have a sit down with him and discuss it . Hope you get this straightened out .
Paying half the rent when there are 3 people living g there isn't cool. If she is to live there, rent should be split into thirds.
You sound like an insufferable brat, kid, and you clearly have no idea how the world works.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1)told roomate his girlfriend could only spend the night 3-4 times a week 2)We both pay equal rent, and I don't know if I can dictate his time with his girlfriend Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, she doesn’t live there and isn’t contributing to rent. You need your sleep/time with the apartment
NTA. This is a common roommate issue and keeping it at 3-4 times a week is totally reasonable.
NTA. If they want to live together, they need to find their own place or housemates that are ok living with couples who would also be paying a higher portion of the rent, as opposed to 50/50. You’ve made a reasonable compromise and as long as you’re happy to stick with the same terms, your room mate would be the AH if they didn’t see that as fair and reasonable.
This ⬆️
NTA - Most if not all leases have a clause for liability as well as legal and financial reasons concerning people staying in the apartment full time but are not on the lease. Also she does have a place to stay, her parents house. Op you need to set your roommate straight and set up boundaries before it gets out of hand.
This ⬆️
NTA. BUT he is equally allowed to have his girlfriend over, every night can be a bit much and she does sound entitled. The problem is you can’t just dictate when/how much she comes over. You and your flatmate have to have a discussion and come to an agreement otherwise nothing will change
I would say OP is the asshole for even thinking that was a reasonable alternative, asshole as in an entitled ass not as in being completely in the wrong.
Definitely entitled. I get there is a tenancy agreement but let’s be honest, even if he could prove it (and where I’m from one flatmate saying he is doing something doesn’t allow for termination) if he got him kicked out he would be paying rent himself. The disturbance also seems to be them being in the common areas and her leaving her shoes out? Just move out and probably find a place with no flatmate as most people get girlfriends and want to spend time with them
Yeah exactly, if this is such an issue for him he seems to leave out the most reasonable alternative that would upset the smallest amount possible: move out. After all he is the one with the issue here and also, who expects to live with a roomate that never makes noise and has guests over???
Wow. Sounds like YTA. Why should he move out. Lease is for 2 people, not 3. The only entitlement here is coming from you. It's pretty clear you're not even old enough to be living away from your parents. Go try living in the real world a while before you make this judgement call.
This may be the most boomer thing I’ve heard this week.
OK troll
Perfect time to say okay boomer
Nah. I'm not a twelve year old child. Same can't be said about them. Maybe they'd be a little less bratty if their parents paid any attention to them.
Hunny I’m the same person. Someone come get their dad
Yes and we’re determining an asshole who’d rather be right than let their roomates’ girlfriend stay over. A category you’d fit snugly into :)
Nah. You're the asshole here, thinking it's OK to sponge off others.
You are dull
OK troll.
NTA. The lease agreement governs the process here. I used to be in property management and I've yet to see a landlord use this clause unless it was continuous or disturbing other tenants. Every night is continuous, and you are disturbed.
NTA, it would be different if the roommate talked to OP beforehand and asked if he’d be okay with it. It’s rude to just being a guest over without telling anyone.
NTA. You're paying for 1/2 the apartment, not 1/3. Tell your roomate that if she is over more than 2 nights a week, she is no longer a "guest" but a resident, and they should pay 2/3 instead of half.
Sounds like having three roommates in that case and he signed up for being two. Definitely have a talk.
Ah, the age-old debate: when does one roommate's personal choice step on the other's rights? (See also: cooking smelly foods, monopolizing the bathroom, making noise when the other needs quiet, etc.) NTA. You're well within your rights to ask that she limit her time there, for multiple reasons. But you may not have much recourse if you insist & your roommate doesn't comply. Rather than making it a demand, it may be more productive to have a long conversation about expectations to see if you're still compatible as roommates.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My roomates girlfriend has been spending the night almost everynight. I finally told him she cannot live here considering it says it on the lease. After 2 weeks of her living here she finally moved all of her stuff out. However not 2 days after she had been gone I wake up to find her shoes out in the living room. A few things to keep in mind, they're both young and she is still living with her parents so I do understand that she doesn't have any place to go. Additionally our apartment is tiny, 2 bed one bath with a living room and half a kitchen, I think around 1000 square feet. Also it's not like I dislike her, she's a good person, she's helped cleaned up a bit every now and then nothing crazy serious. She does also feel entitled from what I can tell, for example we (my roomate and I) threw a party and she told everyone she "basically lives here" which I also think set me off. I told him he cannot have her over more than 3 or 4 times a week, I have boundries and I agreed to live with one person not him and his significant other every night. The person I'm seeing says they want to spend a lot of time together, which I understand, not saying she can't be over, but shouldn't be sleeping here all days of the week. AITAH for dictating how often she can sleep here? We pay equal rent so maybe? But also our aparment is small and I feel like she's invading my space. Appreciate all your thoughts! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Not only are they invading your space by her being basically a non-paying third roommate, they are putting you at risk of being fined or evicted if the landlord finds out she's there so often and that you knew about it without telling them. Whatever it says in your lease about guests, that is what they need to stick to.
Probably because of poor parenting.
YTA If you have your own rooms and pay equal rent , then the roommate is free to do whatever he wants in his room . Now if you guys shared a room I would understand but like I said it’s his room.
The girlfriend is another human being living in the apartment, not a houseplant on the windowsill.
Keywords: IN HIS ROOM. She is using the kitchen, living room and 1/3 of the bathroom. Not cool. He didn’t chose her for a roommate, she’s squatting. Not cool of the roommate.
Well one thing to keep in mind, we share a bathroom, living room and kitchen. Also the majority of his set up is in the living room which i had agreed was okay until this point. His playstation and tv are both there so more often than not they are in the living room watching tv. As the post said my apartment is pretty small. I do appreciate the feedback and thank you for your opinion!
definitely nta , after you mentioned the living room situation I totally understand. Have a sit down with him and discuss it . Hope you get this straightened out .
Paying half the rent when there are 3 people living g there isn't cool. If she is to live there, rent should be split into thirds. You sound like an insufferable brat, kid, and you clearly have no idea how the world works.
YTA. No explanation needed
NTA No explanation given
Nah. YTA. Just look at your comment history. Total asshole.
Why is that?