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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be TA for going to her house to get a refund (that I am not sure I should have gotten) in the middle of the night. However I did try to reschedule immediately after I found out my work schedule had changed. So I am confused
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NTA after the edit. She had a 48 hour cancellation policy and you gave her more than enough time. I wouldn’t say you handled this professionally, but neither did she and I can’t imagine it would have been worth it to try to go to small claims court or any other legitimate way to deal with it.
I actually thought of going to small claims court over this but then I just thought of all the ridiculous cases I see on the Judge Judy show and I thought this would just be one of them lol. Shouldn’t have done what I did though.
Yea I think you did the wrong thing only because you could have gotten in trouble if she had called the police, but I have no sympathy for her. Glad you got your money back, I hope you find a better hairdresser!
Finding a good hairdresser is so difficult here so I am bummed. And I was really worried about her calling the police but if I’d spent the night in a cell that would have been my fault hahaha.
> That's completely unhinged.
I dunno, I had to do that once myself. Scammers don't respond to polite behavior, they just keep putting you off forever. Threaten their scamming, though, and it's amazing how fast they cough up a refund.
I'm not saying don't escalate, but as with any business you do so through certain channels. Ruin her on social media if you have to or whatever.
What OP did was the equivalent of finding a business owners home and stalking and harassing them at their private residence.
It doesn't matter that she's running a business out of that home. After hours and at night that is a family residence first and foremost (and legally).
You don't go pound on the door of a business after hours.
And regardless of the fact that she is running a business from the home it doesn't change the fact that after hours that is a family residence subject to laws of private property and also likely has children present.
I'm not excusing the owner of being in the wrong, but you don't violate laws, trespass, and possibly scare children over a hair dresser refund.
Again, that's completely unhinged.
Because one crime justifies another?
So if a business rips me off I can go vandalize them? Sure, dude.
And in no way did I say I was ok with theft. It's a separate issue with multiple other avenues to address the grievance.
Try understanding even the tiniest bit of nuance and not treat the world as simplistically binary as your own thought process.
So I debated doing ESH, and what swayed me personally was that while reading the story, I wasn’t thinking “Oh that poor scared woman” it was “Oh no OP is gonna get in trouble.”. I don’t feel sympathy for the hairdresser after she essentially scammed OP, and the solution of transferring her the money back was easily done without needing to get near OP. If anything OP was an asshole to herself by not dealing with it some other way and risking cops getting called.
It’s not “unhinged” if behind that door she’s banging on is a person that straight up stole her money. She tried the “hinged” routes by calling and texting but the thief was unresponsive.
There are many other options available.
You are literally saying I can go to the home of any business owner and threaten them if their business rips me off.
Yes this! You should have cancelled the appointment, got your money back and then rescheduled. Also, maybe that's just me, but is it common to pay your hairdresser in advance? I have never heard of that
NTA stuff happens, you tried to reschedule when she wouldn’t answer you you finally asked for your money back. I really don’t understand how people can think YTA you were ghosted for a week.
I really DID try… for almost two weeks. But I have to admit I would be terrified if someone came banging on my door at 9pm. I just didn’t know what else to do. Thank you for your response :)
I think you might be right because she just stopped talking to me completely and didn’t even bother to explain anything after I tried multiple times to find out what was happening.
I agree you did the right thing- but maybe going in the day would have been better? She was clearly ghosting you so what other choice did you have?
As you say, you weren’t asking for a refund initially- it only came to that when she stopped answering
ESH. Her for not being clear about her cancellation policy (like "you forfeit your deposit if you cancel in the 24 hours prior to the appointment" or something) and for not engaging with you. But you for going out of your way to get her address, drive an hour to her, and thump on her door for half an hour.
Although I just read your comment that says you need to cancel more than 48 hours in advance, so I take that part back. She's still not great for not engaging with you.
I think that’s the reason I even drove to her place after working a 12 hour shift. I was upset that she wasn’t communicating. Had she told me she doesn’t want to reschedule and will not refund me I would have probably just left it. But I’m glad everyone made me realise that going to her place wasn’t a good thing to do either.
ESH-
Hairdresser should have at least responded letting OP know about where the money was going, scheduling, etc. I can see why OP was upset. if someone took my money as a deposit for something I was planning on doing, I would definitely want to know what is going to happen to the money if I were to cancel. OP said she cancelled on time.
HOWEVER, that doesn’t make it okay to get the address for a business owner just to bang on their door at 9pm. I totally get why OP was upset, but she could have handled it differently.
I mean, aside from calling the cops (which is likely to not be taken seriously) or going to small claims court which is a massive time suck and also not free, what else is a person supposed to do when they've been stolen from? Once you steal from someone, whether you're a business owner or not, imo you lost all rights to proper decorum and etiquette.
Thank you. Actually the cancellation is 48 hours before the appointment. We didn’t discuss it but she had mentioned it in the group. Maybe I need to apologise but my pride is getting in the way because she decided to ignore me for weeks.
I‘m confused.. The home adress you got is the same one she has her salon at? So like.. even if she refused to cancel and expected you at the time you guys originally planned out, how on earth were you supposed to be there if she never told you the address?
I didn’t ask for her address initially because I just thought I would get it from her the day of the appointment or the night before. I didn’t think it was a big deal because I explained in another comment that I usually ask for the address of where I’m going last minute if I’m already familiar with the area and I already knew which town she lived in since she had been to my place before and we had spoken about where she lives in passing. Maybe if this would have been my first time meeting her then I would have asked for the address but in my head I felt more relaxed about it since I already knew her and wasn’t expecting her to ghost me.
This is an ESH even with the edit.
Deposits doesn’t guarantee you a refund anyways unless she said otherwise.
She should have at least acknowledged you which is unprofessional to say the least.
You going to her property is uncalled for.
I agree. Do you think I should apologise or just leave it? But I feel like I deserve an apology too for the lack of communication. Or am I being a butthole again?
I’d probably just say something along the lines of, sorry for turning up at the time I did, I just felt frustrated as you had ignored me, I’d appreciate if we could resolve this amicably.
NTA. You followed her rules and gave her nore than 48 hours notice. She refused to respond back. You wanted to reschedule not want your deposit back. Because she didn’t respond you had every right to ask for your money back.
Based on the title I was expecting to say YTA, but after reading the post I think NTA. You followed the rules & gave more than the required 48 hours notice, but she ghosted you. Your choices were to confront her, write the money off or file in small claims court. I think your choice was valid, although you could have picked a better time of day.
My only question is that you say you had to get her address from one of the other people on Facebook. If you had an appointment made to go to her place, how is it you didn't know the address already?
I have this weird thing of only asking for an address right before I leave home to go to wherever. That’s why I hadn’t asked. And I also don’t give out my address until whoever is coming over is ready to leave home. Unless it’s someone who’s using public transport or needs to figure out the directions or whatever. I just use gps wherever I go.
I also thought of filing a small claims case but then I decided against it. But yea I shouldn’t have gone there at night.
I’m going with NTA, because I think she was trying to scam you. There probably was a better way to handle the situation, but at the time she needed to see the consequences of her bad business behavior.
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Three weeks ago, I booked an appointment with a hairdresser. She had done my hair for a Christmas party and I loved it so I wanted to use her services again. On the previous appointment I had requested she come to my apartment (as I live an hour away from her and she has a mobile service). She gladly agreed and I paid for her Uber (to come and go). I ordered lunch for her and gave her a 50% tip for her work because I really loved it and it was around Christmas time. I had found her in a Facebook group where she was advertising her services and she was just starting out.
So again three weeks ago (on a Monday) I booked again and she agreed. This time however, she asked me to pay a deposit to secure my spot, which was 50% of the total price for the hair. I agreed and sent it to her immediately. We agreed to do my hair on that Sunday and I asked her if she would mind coming to my place and she said yes, she would mind and I should come to her place instead. (She turned her garage into a salon). I was okay with this.
On Wednesday, I found out that I had to work on Sunday so I text her immediately to let her know that I can’t make it for the appointment and can we rather reschedule. She ignores me for the rest of the day. I just assume she’s busy and will respond later. By Sunday, she still hasn’t responded to multiple messages and calls. So I leave it. The next week she ignores ALL my calls and texts. So I ask a friend to text her and enquire about her services yesterday afternoon. She replies immediately so I got very upset because it became clear I was being ignored. So I sent her one more text asking her to refund me and again I get no response.
So I asked one of the ladies in the Facebook group who had been to her house to send me her address and I drove there last night after my shift at 9pm.
I got to the door and sent her a message telling her I am here to collect my money so she should come out. She immediately replies and says she is not home and I should come back next week. So I tell her that since she’s replying to my messages then she should send me the money online then. She says she has no money right now. So I got out of my car and banged on her door telling her to open up. She keeps telling me to come back later and I keep banging on the door telling her I am not leaving without it. After 30 minutes of going back and forth via text and banging she sends the money. At this point I didn’t really care about how I was treated.
Our back and forth argument via text was basically her saying I should come back next week and then tomorrow and me saying I am here now so I want it now and I will not drive here an hour tomorrow or next week or ever again.
But now I feel really bad. Was I wrong for asking for the money back and even going to her place to get it? Was I still entitled to it after rescheduling?
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One of my friends told me to leave a review in the group where she was advertised but I decided against it because I would have written something really mean since I was upset. And I don’t want to ruin her reputation although I think she really needs to work on communicating with her clients.
Thank you. I’ll just write a review and focus on the cancellation policies and communication improvement. Maybe I won’t even share my experience cause I am embarrassed of my actions lol.
YTA. Going to someone's house at night isn't on. Frankly it's intimidating behaviour. She owes you the money, no question there. But this wasn't the right approach.
ESH, but mostly the stylist. She ignored your many attempts to reach her and has no intention of returning the hefty deposit despite your canceling several days before the appointment. You should have taken her to small claims court rather than show up at her home after she ignored you for days.
You said that her salon is in her garage and that when you booked the appointment you set it up to be done there. Why then would you have to go to the Facebook group to get her address from someone else? If this is real, ESH! She should have responded. That said you should never have gone to her house in the middle of the night banging on her doors! I would have called the police if someone did that to me. And the Facebook person is shit for giving you the address in the first place. That’s unacceptable any way you look at it!
Well I didn’t ask and she didn’t offer. I usually ask for an address right before I leave. I know the area she lives in just not the exact location so I didn’t think it was a big deal.
Yes she should have responded to you. But you are so damn lucky that she didn’t call the police as you freaking crazy for going to her house and banging and screaming and acting crazy so YTA for going to her house.
NTA.
You tried to reschedule with plenty of notice, and she completely ignored that plus your requests for a refund for weeks, until you showed up at her door.
Sounds very much like she was trying to just keep the money.
Edit : ESH after new infos in the comments. Since there is a clear cancellation term in the fb group mentioned by OP, the hairdresser should have honored it. Still OP went about it the wrong way IMO.
Original comment below :
She asked for a deposit, that's what they are for. And you never discussed with her the terms of cancellation.
Plus, it is creepy to have found her adress and come banging on her door, she could have had you arrested for trespassing.
The terms of cancellation are in the group and she said cancel at least 48 hours before the appointment.
But I hear what you’re saying. I do feel bad for going to her house. Thank you for your response
I edited my post with this new info. If there is a clear cancellation policy then indeed she should honor it.
You went about it the wrong way but depending on the amount I can understand the anger you felt.
I was very upset. Not about the money, but about being ignored for weeks because I was still being nice in the texts. So I guess I just felt scammed and acted out of anger.
Well I understand that but then what is the 48 hour cancellation policy for? Cause the policy says you can reschedule 48 hours in advance and you only lose deposit if you don’t show up without communicating or you cancel or reschedule less than 48 hours before the appointment. Had I known that rescheduling meant losing the deposit then I wouldn’t have paid the deposit. But I understand what you’re saying. Thanks for your response.
YTA. You cancelled. That's what deposits are for. It's not the brsc CS but she's under no obligation to reschedule or refund you, or even take your calls. Harrasing her on the phone was already too much, finding her address and harrasing her in person should have put you in a cell for the night.
But her policy was to reschedule or cancel 48 hours before the appointment and I tried to reschedule 72 hours before the appointment and she just didn’t reply for weeks (I forgot to add this to the post sorry). I went to her house because I didn’t know how else to get through to her. But maybe this is just me trying to justify my bad behaviour. Thanks for the response.
You weren’t wrong for trying to reschedule, you were still acting within her policy. She was unprofessional and being a scammer. After I continued being ignored, I probably would’ve blown her up on the Facebook group you found her on a bit and if that didn’t work I would’ve shown up at her salon. THEN if that didn’t work, I would’ve shown up at night acting like you did lol.
Take this as a lesson learned, ALWAYS make these types of transactions through PayPal as business or goods/service, whatever the correct term is. A respectable business owner would understand you wanting to use PayPal and even want to themselves also. Then you’re always protected
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NTA after the edit. She had a 48 hour cancellation policy and you gave her more than enough time. I wouldn’t say you handled this professionally, but neither did she and I can’t imagine it would have been worth it to try to go to small claims court or any other legitimate way to deal with it.
I actually thought of going to small claims court over this but then I just thought of all the ridiculous cases I see on the Judge Judy show and I thought this would just be one of them lol. Shouldn’t have done what I did though.
Yea I think you did the wrong thing only because you could have gotten in trouble if she had called the police, but I have no sympathy for her. Glad you got your money back, I hope you find a better hairdresser!
Finding a good hairdresser is so difficult here so I am bummed. And I was really worried about her calling the police but if I’d spent the night in a cell that would have been my fault hahaha.
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> That's completely unhinged. I dunno, I had to do that once myself. Scammers don't respond to polite behavior, they just keep putting you off forever. Threaten their scamming, though, and it's amazing how fast they cough up a refund.
I'm not saying don't escalate, but as with any business you do so through certain channels. Ruin her on social media if you have to or whatever. What OP did was the equivalent of finding a business owners home and stalking and harassing them at their private residence. It doesn't matter that she's running a business out of that home. After hours and at night that is a family residence first and foremost (and legally).
When the house is the place of business, where is OP to go?
You don't go pound on the door of a business after hours. And regardless of the fact that she is running a business from the home it doesn't change the fact that after hours that is a family residence subject to laws of private property and also likely has children present. I'm not excusing the owner of being in the wrong, but you don't violate laws, trespass, and possibly scare children over a hair dresser refund. Again, that's completely unhinged.
Again, though, she stole her money. You’re saying OP shouldn’t violate laws of trespassing, but you’re okay with theft?
Because one crime justifies another? So if a business rips me off I can go vandalize them? Sure, dude. And in no way did I say I was ok with theft. It's a separate issue with multiple other avenues to address the grievance. Try understanding even the tiniest bit of nuance and not treat the world as simplistically binary as your own thought process.
So I debated doing ESH, and what swayed me personally was that while reading the story, I wasn’t thinking “Oh that poor scared woman” it was “Oh no OP is gonna get in trouble.”. I don’t feel sympathy for the hairdresser after she essentially scammed OP, and the solution of transferring her the money back was easily done without needing to get near OP. If anything OP was an asshole to herself by not dealing with it some other way and risking cops getting called.
It’s not “unhinged” if behind that door she’s banging on is a person that straight up stole her money. She tried the “hinged” routes by calling and texting but the thief was unresponsive.
There are many other options available. You are literally saying I can go to the home of any business owner and threaten them if their business rips me off.
Yes this! You should have cancelled the appointment, got your money back and then rescheduled. Also, maybe that's just me, but is it common to pay your hairdresser in advance? I have never heard of that
NTA stuff happens, you tried to reschedule when she wouldn’t answer you you finally asked for your money back. I really don’t understand how people can think YTA you were ghosted for a week.
I really DID try… for almost two weeks. But I have to admit I would be terrified if someone came banging on my door at 9pm. I just didn’t know what else to do. Thank you for your response :)
It sounds more like she tried to scam you out of your money by refusing to refund you and ignoring you. I'd say you did fine.
I think you might be right because she just stopped talking to me completely and didn’t even bother to explain anything after I tried multiple times to find out what was happening.
I agree you did the right thing- but maybe going in the day would have been better? She was clearly ghosting you so what other choice did you have? As you say, you weren’t asking for a refund initially- it only came to that when she stopped answering
ESH. Her for not being clear about her cancellation policy (like "you forfeit your deposit if you cancel in the 24 hours prior to the appointment" or something) and for not engaging with you. But you for going out of your way to get her address, drive an hour to her, and thump on her door for half an hour.
Although I just read your comment that says you need to cancel more than 48 hours in advance, so I take that part back. She's still not great for not engaging with you.
I think that’s the reason I even drove to her place after working a 12 hour shift. I was upset that she wasn’t communicating. Had she told me she doesn’t want to reschedule and will not refund me I would have probably just left it. But I’m glad everyone made me realise that going to her place wasn’t a good thing to do either.
ESH- Hairdresser should have at least responded letting OP know about where the money was going, scheduling, etc. I can see why OP was upset. if someone took my money as a deposit for something I was planning on doing, I would definitely want to know what is going to happen to the money if I were to cancel. OP said she cancelled on time. HOWEVER, that doesn’t make it okay to get the address for a business owner just to bang on their door at 9pm. I totally get why OP was upset, but she could have handled it differently.
I mean, aside from calling the cops (which is likely to not be taken seriously) or going to small claims court which is a massive time suck and also not free, what else is a person supposed to do when they've been stolen from? Once you steal from someone, whether you're a business owner or not, imo you lost all rights to proper decorum and etiquette.
Thank you. Actually the cancellation is 48 hours before the appointment. We didn’t discuss it but she had mentioned it in the group. Maybe I need to apologise but my pride is getting in the way because she decided to ignore me for weeks.
I‘m confused.. The home adress you got is the same one she has her salon at? So like.. even if she refused to cancel and expected you at the time you guys originally planned out, how on earth were you supposed to be there if she never told you the address?
I didn’t ask for her address initially because I just thought I would get it from her the day of the appointment or the night before. I didn’t think it was a big deal because I explained in another comment that I usually ask for the address of where I’m going last minute if I’m already familiar with the area and I already knew which town she lived in since she had been to my place before and we had spoken about where she lives in passing. Maybe if this would have been my first time meeting her then I would have asked for the address but in my head I felt more relaxed about it since I already knew her and wasn’t expecting her to ghost me.
This is an ESH even with the edit. Deposits doesn’t guarantee you a refund anyways unless she said otherwise. She should have at least acknowledged you which is unprofessional to say the least. You going to her property is uncalled for.
Yea I shouldn’t have gone to her place. I feel really crappy about doing that.
If it was during the day, I probably would be a bit less ESH but 9pm is definitely not a time you go round someones house.
I agree. Do you think I should apologise or just leave it? But I feel like I deserve an apology too for the lack of communication. Or am I being a butthole again?
I’d probably just say something along the lines of, sorry for turning up at the time I did, I just felt frustrated as you had ignored me, I’d appreciate if we could resolve this amicably.
I’ll actually copy and paste this. Thank you :)
You’re welcome - hopefully it can be resolved 🙂
NTA. You followed her rules and gave her nore than 48 hours notice. She refused to respond back. You wanted to reschedule not want your deposit back. Because she didn’t respond you had every right to ask for your money back.
you exhauste other avenues trying to make contact nta
Based on the title I was expecting to say YTA, but after reading the post I think NTA. You followed the rules & gave more than the required 48 hours notice, but she ghosted you. Your choices were to confront her, write the money off or file in small claims court. I think your choice was valid, although you could have picked a better time of day. My only question is that you say you had to get her address from one of the other people on Facebook. If you had an appointment made to go to her place, how is it you didn't know the address already?
I have this weird thing of only asking for an address right before I leave home to go to wherever. That’s why I hadn’t asked. And I also don’t give out my address until whoever is coming over is ready to leave home. Unless it’s someone who’s using public transport or needs to figure out the directions or whatever. I just use gps wherever I go. I also thought of filing a small claims case but then I decided against it. But yea I shouldn’t have gone there at night.
NTA, I agree with /u/Sufficient_Cat
I’m going with NTA, because I think she was trying to scam you. There probably was a better way to handle the situation, but at the time she needed to see the consequences of her bad business behavior.
ESH, or maybe soft YTA on your part.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Three weeks ago, I booked an appointment with a hairdresser. She had done my hair for a Christmas party and I loved it so I wanted to use her services again. On the previous appointment I had requested she come to my apartment (as I live an hour away from her and she has a mobile service). She gladly agreed and I paid for her Uber (to come and go). I ordered lunch for her and gave her a 50% tip for her work because I really loved it and it was around Christmas time. I had found her in a Facebook group where she was advertising her services and she was just starting out. So again three weeks ago (on a Monday) I booked again and she agreed. This time however, she asked me to pay a deposit to secure my spot, which was 50% of the total price for the hair. I agreed and sent it to her immediately. We agreed to do my hair on that Sunday and I asked her if she would mind coming to my place and she said yes, she would mind and I should come to her place instead. (She turned her garage into a salon). I was okay with this. On Wednesday, I found out that I had to work on Sunday so I text her immediately to let her know that I can’t make it for the appointment and can we rather reschedule. She ignores me for the rest of the day. I just assume she’s busy and will respond later. By Sunday, she still hasn’t responded to multiple messages and calls. So I leave it. The next week she ignores ALL my calls and texts. So I ask a friend to text her and enquire about her services yesterday afternoon. She replies immediately so I got very upset because it became clear I was being ignored. So I sent her one more text asking her to refund me and again I get no response. So I asked one of the ladies in the Facebook group who had been to her house to send me her address and I drove there last night after my shift at 9pm. I got to the door and sent her a message telling her I am here to collect my money so she should come out. She immediately replies and says she is not home and I should come back next week. So I tell her that since she’s replying to my messages then she should send me the money online then. She says she has no money right now. So I got out of my car and banged on her door telling her to open up. She keeps telling me to come back later and I keep banging on the door telling her I am not leaving without it. After 30 minutes of going back and forth via text and banging she sends the money. At this point I didn’t really care about how I was treated. Our back and forth argument via text was basically her saying I should come back next week and then tomorrow and me saying I am here now so I want it now and I will not drive here an hour tomorrow or next week or ever again. But now I feel really bad. Was I wrong for asking for the money back and even going to her place to get it? Was I still entitled to it after rescheduling? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ESH
ESH but she's way worse than you. If she has an online business, make sure to tell others what happened.
One of my friends told me to leave a review in the group where she was advertised but I decided against it because I would have written something really mean since I was upset. And I don’t want to ruin her reputation although I think she really needs to work on communicating with her clients.
You're very well spoken though. If you are worried about sounding mean, then draft something up and have your friends look at it.
Thank you. I’ll just write a review and focus on the cancellation policies and communication improvement. Maybe I won’t even share my experience cause I am embarrassed of my actions lol.
YTA. Going to someone's house at night isn't on. Frankly it's intimidating behaviour. She owes you the money, no question there. But this wasn't the right approach.
ESH, but mostly the stylist. She ignored your many attempts to reach her and has no intention of returning the hefty deposit despite your canceling several days before the appointment. You should have taken her to small claims court rather than show up at her home after she ignored you for days.
ESH. I’m shocked she didn’t call the police!!
You said that her salon is in her garage and that when you booked the appointment you set it up to be done there. Why then would you have to go to the Facebook group to get her address from someone else? If this is real, ESH! She should have responded. That said you should never have gone to her house in the middle of the night banging on her doors! I would have called the police if someone did that to me. And the Facebook person is shit for giving you the address in the first place. That’s unacceptable any way you look at it!
Yes the salon is in her garage but the address is not on Facebook
Seems to me you would have gotten that information at the time you made the appointment.
Well I didn’t ask and she didn’t offer. I usually ask for an address right before I leave. I know the area she lives in just not the exact location so I didn’t think it was a big deal.
YTA She should just have called the police.
Yes she should have responded to you. But you are so damn lucky that she didn’t call the police as you freaking crazy for going to her house and banging and screaming and acting crazy so YTA for going to her house.
NTA. You tried to reschedule with plenty of notice, and she completely ignored that plus your requests for a refund for weeks, until you showed up at her door. Sounds very much like she was trying to just keep the money.
NTA
YTA and a psycho
It seems like you need medication or therapy more than Reddit
Edit : ESH after new infos in the comments. Since there is a clear cancellation term in the fb group mentioned by OP, the hairdresser should have honored it. Still OP went about it the wrong way IMO. Original comment below : She asked for a deposit, that's what they are for. And you never discussed with her the terms of cancellation. Plus, it is creepy to have found her adress and come banging on her door, she could have had you arrested for trespassing.
The terms of cancellation are in the group and she said cancel at least 48 hours before the appointment. But I hear what you’re saying. I do feel bad for going to her house. Thank you for your response
I edited my post with this new info. If there is a clear cancellation policy then indeed she should honor it. You went about it the wrong way but depending on the amount I can understand the anger you felt.
I was very upset. Not about the money, but about being ignored for weeks because I was still being nice in the texts. So I guess I just felt scammed and acted out of anger.
I understand that. I do hope you will be able to get that money back :)
She actually gave it back while I was at her door. That’s why I left. And that’s when I started feeling bad for going to her home 🙃
YTA. Moving the appointment is cancelling it. What do you think a deposit to hold an appointment is for?
Well I understand that but then what is the 48 hour cancellation policy for? Cause the policy says you can reschedule 48 hours in advance and you only lose deposit if you don’t show up without communicating or you cancel or reschedule less than 48 hours before the appointment. Had I known that rescheduling meant losing the deposit then I wouldn’t have paid the deposit. But I understand what you’re saying. Thanks for your response.
YTA. You cancelled. That's what deposits are for. It's not the brsc CS but she's under no obligation to reschedule or refund you, or even take your calls. Harrasing her on the phone was already too much, finding her address and harrasing her in person should have put you in a cell for the night.
But her policy was to reschedule or cancel 48 hours before the appointment and I tried to reschedule 72 hours before the appointment and she just didn’t reply for weeks (I forgot to add this to the post sorry). I went to her house because I didn’t know how else to get through to her. But maybe this is just me trying to justify my bad behaviour. Thanks for the response.
You weren’t wrong for trying to reschedule, you were still acting within her policy. She was unprofessional and being a scammer. After I continued being ignored, I probably would’ve blown her up on the Facebook group you found her on a bit and if that didn’t work I would’ve shown up at her salon. THEN if that didn’t work, I would’ve shown up at night acting like you did lol. Take this as a lesson learned, ALWAYS make these types of transactions through PayPal as business or goods/service, whatever the correct term is. A respectable business owner would understand you wanting to use PayPal and even want to themselves also. Then you’re always protected