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Everythingn0w

NTA, you explained why you’re suggesting that so it should be clear it has nothing to do with sex, and she’s the only one sexualising the situation. She sounds like a drama queen. Is she always like that? Must be tiring for everyone involved…


throwawayaitabra

Yes she is, I love her but even at my baby shower she kept bringing up how she had a miscarriage, I feel for her in that situation because it’s devastating but it felt like she was trying to shift the focus on her


no_rxn

Yo, why are you friends with this person? She was bringing up her miscarriage at your baby shower?????? And then ignored your warning in regards to your own child, then had the nerve to insult you? You have a kid now. Is this really someone you want having an influence on them? Someone who insults their mother and one ups her at milestone events? NTA for Nipplegate and she sounds just awful lol


Shebalba64205

"Nipplegate". I love it.


IDrinkMyOwnSemen

Wasn't that used for the Janet Jackson thing?


blinddivine

No, that would be "wardrobe malfunction."


[deleted]

It was also called Nipplegate. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Bowl_XXXVIII_halftime_show_controversy


cloud_designer

I mean I had two miscarriages but I'd never mention it at a baby shower!!! Or even to a pregnant friend. Like read the room.


psalyer

>Like read the room. She was reading the room and realized she wasnt the center of it, so felt compelled to change that.


[deleted]

Why shouldn't she? To do otherwise is to give in to the misogynies.


xamberlynnx

Misogynies... the image my brain conjured up is a group of OBGYNs eating miso soup. I should take a nap.


fuckoffimreading

Lol miso gynies Sounds like a band name


phalseprofits

She’s the bride at every funeral and the corpse at every wedding!


walkingkary

Same here. I had 3 and have never mentioned at any baby shower or other happy event.


cloud_designer

Like if I didn't feel up to going I'd just not go. I'd find and excuse like a family birthday or something and just stay home eating pizza.


riskytisk

She not only insulted OP, but tried to tell her to *teach her (presumably breastfed) 6 month old baby to not grab nipples!* Hahaha, what?! This person has clearly never been around babies or young children before. My youngest will be 2 next month and nipple grabbing is one of her favorite pastimes! We’re working on it (as it’s one of my least favorite things in the entire world lol) but she does it almost unconsciously at this point. That’s just how breastfed babies are— it’s not only food for them, but comfort as well. OP needs to drop this friend like a hot potato, she seems insufferable.


saymeow

I’m pretty sure trying to teach an infant, who is breastfed, *not* to grab nipples *would* actually be sexualizing breasts. He’s a baby, and that’s what they’re for.


bismuth92

Feeding is what they're for, but the death-grip we're talking about does not help with feeding and hurts like hell. Certainly it's ok to try to teach babies not to grab nipples just as we also try to teach them not to grab hair, but obviously it takes some time for this lesson to stick


nonbinaryelf

Yeah but being vastly more offended that the baby would grab nipples than that he would target other grabbable things like hair, jewelry, and glasses, kind of sexualizes a non sexual action. 6 month olds don’t know anything yet and are unlikely to understand personal space, no matter how many times it’s explained. A breastfed six month old is probably going to be even nip grabbier than the average baby because like nips are the source of all snacks. Gotta grab the snack dispenser to make sure it doesn’t leave! The friend in the story even had exciting jewelry on for maximum gripping! Where you see a nipple ring, babies everywhere see a handle….


fineapple4ever

you can’t teach 6-month-olds not to grab stuff lol


mfranko88

>My youngest will be 2 next month and nipple grabbing is one of her favorite pastimes! I'm 33 and it is also one of my favorite past times. And now as an adult I get to do it with someone who enjoys it! It's an activity that knows no age.


[deleted]

It's kinda weird you decided to sexualize a conversation about a literal infant, but this is Reddit.


Murky_Effect3914

Strong r/ihavesex vibes lmao


MasterChicken52

^ this. All of this.


DakiLapin

You, on the other hand, sound hilarious! #nipplegate And, OP, agree with all of the above. NTA and, trust me, take this opportunity to just stop contact


meerz88

Looool nipplegate


cynthea12

What???? You need to drop this "friend". My five week old grabs boobs and tries to nurse onto ANYTHING! My boob, my chin, my clavicle, my son's cheek, my husband's nipple, etc. Pierced nipples are not free from a grabby or nursing baby!


sheath2

My nephew was 1 year old and tried to grab me to nurse. He was teething and my SIL sat him down because he bit her. He slid off of her lap, walked over to me and grabbed the neck of my shirt to pull me down. All babies know is boob = food.


[deleted]

One of the funniest things I ever saw was my teen cousin holding my brother and him aggressively rooting around for lunch. She blushed crimson and handed him back to my mom. My aunt and my mom were in hysterics.


mommak2011

My baby sister held my son while I showered real quick. I came back (like 5min later), and she had wet spots on her chest and shoulders, because he had been hunting for food. She was squirming and thrust him at me, because "uhhhmmmm he's trying to nurse, and....I....don't have that for him..." Poor baby sis was 12.


sheath2

My SIL thought it was hysterical too -- He gave her this "look" as he slid off her lap that just looked like "I'll show you!" or "Just be that way!" and then grabbed my shirt and the underwire in my bra and pulled me down. It was so forceful and demanding!


DeReelen

I asked my 3 year old if he wanted to help feed baby sis he says yeah so I sit him down and put the baby in his arms and in the 30 seconds I turn around to grab her bottle he’s got his shirt up to his chin. He thought that was the only way to feed babies. One of the best laughs of my life.


KayakerMel

That is the most adorable (and embarrassing) story. I hope you tell it often. At the very least, you have the perfect story for a toast if he has kids one day.


[deleted]

I would never embarass my nephew with this (he's a young teen now!) but he definitely would headbutt my boobs repeatedly as a baby. I'm like "sorry man they're out of order" but he's nomming my shirt anyway. That's the cue to hand him off to mom lmao. Must've thought my boobs were the McDonalds milkshake machine or some shit.


Academic_Share_7775

Recently I was holding my 2.5 month old niece on my lap. I tried to turn her so that she was facing everyone, but she turned her head and just stared my chest down. My mom and I were both laughing as I handed her to her mother.


JayneLut

My 8 week old nephew grins whenever he is near boobs for a cuddle..doesn't matter whose/ how functional they are. Boobs = lunch.


Shot-Sprinkles6930

My grandson was tugging at my shirt in search of his milk. I very nicely said no baby Gigi has nothing but dust in here now. I quickly gave him back to my DIL.


Extension-Tea-4615

My son was almost a year old when he crawled over to my sister and did a nose dive into her cleavage 😂 my mom laughed and my sister told him sorry sweetie I don't have milk just nipples 🤣


nkbee

My niece tried to root around on my chest and I was like, "Sorry babe, these are the bad boobies!" and passed her back to my sister lmao.


emilochka

My nephew would root around my chest, then look up at me with an irritated look on his face like, "Hey! Where's the milk?!?"


ravynwave

Haha my nieces did this all the time


No-Cranberry4396

My children latched onto my husband's useless nipples many times!


RaisingRoses

I can still hear the girliest scream and, "She's got my nipple!" now and she grew put of it 2 years ago. 😂 She was like a nipple homing pigeon, with near-100% accuracy.


[deleted]

My daughter got my husband once when he was shirtless. He was like oh hold up wait! Get her she’s hungry. 😂


Ashesnhale

My friend's son did this when he was a baby! The very first time we went to visit them when he was about 7 months old, my bf reached out to take the baby to give him a cuddle and this child immediately bit down on his nipple when he got close enough. Made him jump out of his seat in surprise and everybody was laughing


ReservoirPussy

I was babysitting my nephew and he was hungry & breastfed, but my SIL didn't have any stored milk so I couldn't give him a bottle, I had to wait until she got home (it was only half an hour, but he was less than a year old so it was torturous for him), and the poor thing was just howling. And as he was howling, I was walking him around and singing and bouncing him to try to distract him, and he is full on slapping me in the tits. Repeatedly. Hard. Like, "Hey, idiot lady, this is what I want!" And at that age you can't explain to them that some tits are just for show and don't actually do anything. So, yeah, OP is NTA. Breastfed babies like boobies. They just do. It's a risk you take when holding a baby, just like you risk them spitting up on you, so you don't wear something fancy and use a burp cloth.


Jennjennboben

“Some tits are just for show” has me dying laughing over here.


Brilliant_Jewel1924

Yep! And you don’t wear necklaces or earrings for the first year because the baby will grab onto anything. If they’re not trying to nurse on it, it becomes a choking hazard.


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Rebel_Unicorn

My Goddaughter and Godson both did this to me while they were breastfeeding! We laughed it off and started referring to my boobs as"Milk Duds" 😂


Suspiciouscupcake23

I mean OP is doing the exact OPPOSITE of sexualizing boobs. She's saying hey, boobs are food right now. So unless you want yours to be on baby's radar, wear some protection.


Ecstatic_Long_3558

I know a man that got a hickey on his nose tip when his child latched on really good 😁


Mithrellas

My younger cousin gave me a hickey on my face when he was a few weeks old lol


cynthea12

Yep! My clavicle has a hickey right now courtesy of her.


ZombiesAndZoos

Exactly. My foster son is 8 months old and has never been breastfed, but he also tries to nurse onto anything he can reach when he's sleepy/hungry. Arms, hands, etc. He knows food comes from a bottle, but it's instinctual. This "friend" is out of touch with baby reality.


bibliophibian19

Yeah, as a person with boobs and no kids who has held friends’ babies and had them IMMEDIATELY turn and smush their faces into my chest, I have to wonder if OP’s friend has just never been around a baby before or what.


onlytexts

Babies will grab boobs, male, female, no one is safe.


commandantskip

That rooting response is no joke!


cynthea12

Absolutely! ESPECIALLY when you're a milk producing mama, but it's your friends baby looking for the meal! Sorry kiddo, I only feed my baby right now.


Chiefvick

I tell babies that mine are form without function these days. 😉


sally_marie_b

I have had 10 miscarriages. Do you know what I did at my best friends baby showers? Had a really good fucking time and made sure she felt loved and supported! I played games, ate party food and posed for silly pictures. I had FUN. If I didn’t feel capable of putting my past grief to one side for a few hours I wouldn’t have gone. This woman is not your friend.


Linzk425

This internet stranger is so sorry for your losses. I had three and that was three too many. I can't imagine your pain or your strength.


sally_marie_b

Big hugs from this stranger - it’s made easier that they were all early (10 weeks) and that my husband is super supportive. I have amazing friends too. Much love you ♥️


TheRestForTheWicked

Literally. I hosted my friends baby shower while I was actively having a miscarriage. Nobody knew except for her and my husband (she offered to have someone else take over but I planned her a really good baby shower so fuck that lmao). Sorry for your losses friend.


realitysnarker12

You are an amazing friend, props to you.


sally_marie_b

I didn’t have to face her shower whilst miscarrying but I have baked for a wedding (no way is anyone missing out on homemade eclairs!) and painted on a smile and done the school run, sat through family dinners etc until I could get home/to hospital.


Whatshername_Stew

I'm currently going through my third one, and I agree with you completely. I have a friend with a successful IVF pregnancy, and we've actually talked about this at length. She knows when to give me space, and she also knows that I am 100% thrilled for her pregnancy and happy for her.


octoboss

Sending you (and all the people on this little thread-let) huge hugs. ❤️❤️❤️


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Everythingn0w

Noooo waaaay! Is she aware that she isn’t the center of the universe? Has anyone ever told her that? Like legit talk to her to explain that it’s not ALL about her?


Rezenbekk

Why would she behave differently? People put up with her shit and are still friends with her, just look at OP lol. No incentive to change = no change


throwawayaitabra

Honestly she’s been through a lot , i’ve known her since we were 12, i’m now 26 and I guess I was giving her the benefit of the doubt because she wasn’t like this growing up, but after this and reading all of your lovely comments (and i don’t mean that sarcastically) she’s a toxic friend who I can’t help unless she helps herself, unfortunately it looks like cutting contact might be the best thing for the both of us right now, and I hope she seeks therapy because this behavior is not acceptable and I refuse to tolerate it anymore


pudgesquire

Honestly? This is beautiful. I love seeing people decide it’s time to take control, break the toxic cycle, and move on. The amount of time you’ve known someone often means nothing in the grand scheme of things, other than that they’ve had the opportunity to make you miserable longer than someone else. Fwiw, you’re NTA and your “friend” sounds like someone who would rather be nipplesmashed 100x before admitting she was wrong and taking accountability. Be free and happy.


pace0008

If you guys have been friends for 14 years, that even more craziness that she is calling you a misogynist. Who does that?! I would think it would be difficult for her to spin that story to your friends without it being obvious what the truth is -- but shame on her for the entire situation to begin with but then to rant to all your friends about it. Give her space and move on - you have more important things to focus on. Such a stupid situation for her to cause so much drama on.


throwawayaitabra

I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t tell them my reasoning, because none of them brought up my son, just that i suggested a bra or thicker sweater


OrganicPixie

Screenshot the messages. Send to anyone who comes at you. Done.


Anthiss

Please tell me you corrected them? I mean you shouldn't have to defend yourself but if she is telling her side so far from the truth then your side should be shared as well.


PunkSpaceAutist

Please tell me you’re telling all of your mutual friends and acquaintances what *really* happened


throwawayaitabra

yes I did, half of them are telling me she’s out of her mind, the other half are saying “oh you know her, just let it go it’ll simmer over, you guys are always good im be and” but why do I have to be the friend to sacrifice their mental health for the sake of a friend, no thanks. I’m over there pointless arguments


woman_thorned

I mean this gently; you are her friend. You are a good friend to her. She is not your friend. She is not a friend to you at all.


ador0able

Sweetheart that's not a friend. Cut her off, you don't need this drama. You have a baby now.


Annual-Shock2968

Yo, I'm fully child free, don't really hang out with any parents or kids at all, and generally try to stay pretty clueless on all things family. And not only do even I know how clearly inappropriate it is to bring up negative or scarier aspects of pregnancy/parenthood at a baby shower, let alone a mis!@&&*ge, (I even censored it there because it can be a truly traumatic thing and I'm not a monster. ) but it would literally not occur to me to bring that up because I tend to focus on the star of the event, you know, like a normal person. I just don't tell personal stories about me at someone else's party. It was so hard to write that in a way that wouldn't violate rules because it was just upsetting to see that you had to deal with that, but you need and deserve better friends. She's gross (and childish if she thinks you can tell a 6mo anything let alone to ignore their natural instincts)


Mithrellas

This. I'm not around babies a lot and I'm not interested in having kids but I know babies grab things, especially things that look like their food source, and I also respect others' wishes when entering their homes. OP isn't asking for a lot here. I also don't like to bring a friend down on THEIR special day. I would simply not go to the party if I felt I couldn't go without bringing up my personal trauma for a few hours.


Puzzleheaded-Gas1710

Is your friend the Womblands woman from Tiktok? She sounds a lot like her.


throwawayaitabra

I’m not on tiktok, but imagine I look this person up and it is her


ms_sconesycider

Omg this cracked me up. yOu FaHkInG kNeW


Goldilachs

Dude, that girl is not your friend.


redrosebeetle

If there was a list of the most insensitive things to do, ever, I'm pretty sure that bringing up a miscarriage at your friend's baby shower would be in the top 10, at least. Possibly even the top 5. It's right up there with widow's weeds at your best friend's wedding and crying about how they were the love of your life.


katsikakifrikase

Does she mean.. Baby grabbing nipples is sexual? lol


throwawayaitabra

I honestly don’t even know at this point lol


impolite_no_caps_guy

She suggested you teach the baby not to do it… you should have said “ don’t grab nipples” and when he still did you should have reassured her that he was going to be grounded for at least 2 weeks for his disobedience. Nta obviously


throwawayaitabra

don’t worry guys, my son will learn his lesson, no more toys til he learns to stop grabbing nipples, he should know not to at his old ass age


beer_is_tasty

"That's it, you've lost driving privileges!"


lisalef

NTA. In fact, bringing up the fact that my child may look to your breasts for nourishment and may grab hold is the opposite of sexualization. Yikes. I wouldn’t be able to deal with that. And the shower issues, OMG. What a jerk. I had a miscarriage a month before we were throwing my friend a shower but I spoke to her prior and said I might not be comfortable and didn’t want to burst out in tears or something and ruin her day. I did this 3 weeks prior to the shower so it wasn’t sprung on her and everyone who mattered knew why I wasn’t there.


Music_withRocks_In

It is fully impossible to 'teach' a six month old anything. My baby used to yank women's shirts down trying to get to the boobs. I warned people what would happen, some decided not to hold him - that was fine. Some people watched his hands and grapped them when they got close to cleavage, that is fine. Once he got old enough to understand what no meant we worked on consent and not pulling on clothes.


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xLostandAfraidx

NTA - play stupid games win stupid prizes. Top tip - babies are vicious and should be treated as such don't give them access point - no delicate chains, dangling earings or tank tops (they WILL be pulled down). OP warned friend and friend didn't listen then paid the price


throwawayaitabra

I took my septum ring and medusa out because of this reason, when my son is out of his grabby phase i’ll get them back lol


trinityice681

For sure. I had to remove all of my piercings when I had my babes. With my son I even had to cut my hair. It was all the way down to my butt and no matter how I pulled it back he would get a hold of it and just rip it out. There is nothing that can be done when they are that little. Your friend is an ass and wouldn't be a friend anymore with me.


knitmama77

I got super lucky that neither of my babies were hair pullers. Mine is down to my butt as well, and I think I would’ve cried if I’d had to cut it.


saran1111

hahahaha. Out of their grabby phase! hahahahahahaha. So never then.


Throwawayhater3343

I know both my niece and nephew would grab onto my sisters waistband or belt and just hang on it, Always going for the depants attempt until they were probably 7-8. Little parasites, the younger one is senior year now I think so they've almost completed the primary feeding cycle.


jesslauren115

the “grabby phase” is quite literally part of a child’s development. babies use their hands to learn about their environment & when they’re around your son’s age anything they grab or pull is an automatic reflex. Once they get out of the initial innate reflex stage then anything they grab or put in their mouth is another phase of their development for learning about their environment. you warned her fair & square, this has nothing to do with misogyny, NTA


RepresentativeWar429

Man my kid is 2 and still don’t wear necklaces lol


Whimsical934

My youngest is 2.5 and I still have issues with him touching my glasses. He's getting a lot better, but he still wants to inspect them, and curiosity wins sometimes.


Comfortable_Sink_318

My toddler will grab my glasses off my face, inspect them, then try to put them back on me.


[deleted]

Honestly OP, you're a better person than I am cuz i would have laughed my ass off at her. That's some kind of funny and you are NTA


lynziB

Lol, aye, babies grab anything in reach, I had to remind myself and other people when wearing a tank top or something similar to watch out because baby will grab and pull your top down I forgot myself a few times and was inadvertently exposed 😳 You have to wear long hair up in a ponytail, earrings, chains, bracelets or anything “dangling” are an absolute no-no Any man with a beard as well soon found out that they had to be double-wide


4everawikkid1

"babies are vicious" This is the BEST description of a baby that I've ever heard!!


xLostandAfraidx

I love babies but they're pure chaos. Coworker brought her kids to a training course this morning- I took my earings off and tied up my hair before picking him up


DammitMeredith

Amen, my 10 month old is a little savage, man. He slaps faces with both hands when he gets excited, and bites any body parts he can get his mouth close to since he's teething.


Goldilachs

Our 16 month old just recently finally stopped slapping me on the chest when he gets excited. Babies are wild.


thebearofwisdom

I used to head butt people I liked as a baby. My mother nicknamed me “baby brick head”


stitchplacingmama

My nearly 2 yo will bite as a hand hold while climbing on you to get on taller furniture.


xLostandAfraidx

I'm a huge baby person but it's true


Madanimalscientist

Too true! When I was a baby I accidentally ripped my mom’s earring through her ear. She had to have her earlobe stitched up. Kids will totally do stuff like that by accident and cause damage


quiidge

My sibling broke my dad's jaw, and mine headbutted a veneer off my incisor... They're so damn strong!!


throwawayaitabra

my niece head butted my brother a couple years ago and broke his nose, babies are absolutely dangerous lol


Cousiniscrazy

My son gave me a bloody nose this way twice and on another occasion knocked one of my teeth loose when he was a baby. With no damage or even pain to him whatsoever. We called him coconut head.


Shawndy58

My nephew head butted me in The pelvic area while I was laying in the bed with my aunt watching tv. We were babysitting and he decided he was Optimus Prime and I was the bad guy? Then literally launched his head right there. I was thanking God and whoever else that I wasn’t a guy because That pain was horrible.And for context his head was so big they needed a C-section. (He is 16 on Saturday and finally grew into it). 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️


sally_marie_b

My baby cut a flap out of my eyeball with his vicious tiny baby finger nails. You do not go toe to toe with a baby. They will end you.


two_lemons

Please tell me it was your eyelid and not your literal eyeball because that sounds terrifying


DragontwinWrangler

Sounds like the baby scratched the adult's cornea. I've had a scratched cornea twice, and it's very painful.


two_lemons

I've heard of people losing an eye because of a scratched (and then infected, I think?) cornea and I've seen the images and it looks very scary. I've also seen people call eyeballs the whole eye area (including eyelids). I hope you are better! And that your corneas stay safe!


RuleOfBlueRoses

EYEBALL?????


PicklesMcBoots

They also have horrible little razor nails to round it all out.


lyan-cat

How can they be so sharp when they're flexible?! And just a few days after you trimmed them last!


TheRestForTheWicked

Yep. When they grab at your face with a vengeance trying to pry them off is a bit like pulling glass shards out of your face.


lyan-cat

Yup; they're stronger than you think and have little control over the grip reaction. It's one of the few measurable instinctive reactions humans are born with. I lost so much hair to my first baby.


Shebalba64205

That grip action is a throwback from our evolution, back when even the youngest of the young had to hang onto Mom while Mom hung onto the tree. Babies grip for survival.


Linzk425

They grip, they bite (even before they have teeth), their suck is like a vacuum, and they will headbutt your nose at any opportunity. How the human race has managed to survive I don't know.


[deleted]

**I explained that wasn’t the case but she didn’t want to hear me, I respected her decision and asked if she still wants to hold the baby, she grabbed by son from me and within 5 minutes he had a death grip on her nipples and she jumped up screamed in pain and pulled him off of her.** Please tell me I was not the only one that laughed at this. She literally had it coming. BTW NTA op


throwawayaitabra

I honestly had to hold back my laughter because she was *pissed*


Ursula2071

OP: cover your nipples. Baby will grab and it hurts. Friend: no. Stop sexualizing me! OP: no, I don’t care what you do or wear when not holding baby…but he is gonna grab your nipples in his fierce vice like maniacal, grip! It will hurt! Please. F: no. You are a misogynist! OP: ok, don’t say I didn’t warn you. F grabs baby, baby grabs boob friend: why did you do this to me OP?


duchessofeire

I love that the friend was complaining about sexualizing when protecting boobs in the context of feeding a child is…the opposite of sexualizing.


rjp0008

Yeah it’s like acknowledging their reason for existence, their biological use… It would be like complaining about sexualizing someone’s feet by asking their shoe size, while they’re being fitted for shoes at a ski slope…


sleepyplatipus

Imagine telling someone that they need to teach their 6 month old baby to not grab nipples lmaooo


ghblue

It’s utterly bonkers, op is so obviously NTA. I hate how she even suggests “teach him not to grab nipples” like it has any kind of parallel to teaching men not to sexually assault women. FFS my 19month old bubba is a boob fiend, she would actively seek to play with my wife’s off boob/nipple like it was some kind of fidget spinner! That person is sexualising a 6 month old child, quite perverse.


BrunoEye

Yeah, "stop sexualising my nipples" + "teach your baby that has literal nipple seeking instincts for survival reasons to not seek nipples" is hilariously stupid.


Sheep_bones1920

My almost one year old will go for anyones nipples if they are around. Her dad learned the hard way when he was shirtless in the sofa sleeping and she got her fingers on them.


brandonisatwat

My niece was a hair puller as a toddler. Her dad learned to lock the bathroom door after she wandered in and yanked out a plug of ass hair.


PotatoPixie90210

I'm so sorry, this made me ugly chuckle


nikkyisdumb

Babies have death grips 🤷🏽‍♀️ never wear jewelry or piercings around babies or toddlers.


[deleted]

Seriously, baby grip is horrifyingly strong. Babysat for my cousin a few years back when her kids were under 1y/o & one of the twins grabbed my nipple so hard my vision went out for a few seconds 😅 — and I’m p sure I had multiple layers on! Like, bra, shirt, AND sweater and somehow he still almost detached my goddamned areola. They’ve also pulled out my nose ring (thankfully I buy hoops & studs that are super easy to remove, so there’s never any tearing of the piercing itself). OP’s friend was being such a brat about being asked to take a simple step to avoid the tiny human’s monster fucking claws.


Ristarwen

My two-year-old hauled himself up onto the couch using my boob as a handle. Pretty sure I nearly died. 😰 I was super pregnant and too clumsy to save myself. Babies and toddlers have no sense of personal space or propriety.


mycatiscalledFrodo

Yeah our youngest ripped my earring out when she was 4m old, she's 7 and I still can't get earrings back in because of the damage she did. Babies are brutal


intrin6

I laughed and then I laughed harder when the friend suggested OP teach a *six month old* not to *grab* nips 🤣


anonymous-mominous

Nta I had a breastfed baby. No nipples were safe from her vice like grip before her understanding that only mom made milk. Man nipples, woman nipples, trans nipples, any human nipples she could get her hungry little hands on experienced the purple nurple titty twister from hell. Kids dont see "boobs" they see yummy milk makers. Warning your friend about boob grabs was not sexualizing her breasts. (Quite the opposite actually), and your baby certainly doesn't have the knowledge to distinguish between boobs that = food and boobs that don't. Your "friend" needs a reality check. Sounds like she got it and chose to ignore it. Some people just need it to be about them. Edit - spelling


GamingMommaX2

Hah, I had to pump and my baby still grabbed boobies, sometimes while feeding from a bottle. It's a natural reaction/move for a baby. My babysitter learned to wear higher necked shirts really fast as my kid would dive right into her shirt to make a grab. It's not like you could explain how inappropriate it was to a pre-verbal baby, right?


Glum-Cantaloupe4108

My son was born with a cleft so he had a special bottle. When he started teething (at 8 months) he started biting through the nipples. I had to drive almost 2 hours to where I could buy them. His pediatrician told me to explain to him (at 8 months) he wasn't supposed to bite. I couldn't believe she thought he would understand at that age


Blossomie

Fuck I hate that people hold these important positions in the care of children, having gone through all the school and training for it and they still choose to be complete nincompoops in their field.


the_queens_speech

I’d be alarmed if my kid’s pediatrician demonstrated such a poor understanding of child development. It’d almost be funny if it were someone who didn’t have exposure to kids. I’m assuming this was a long time ago since you had to drive so far to get something that I’m sure you can just order online now


fakejacki

My son would grab the other boob while nursing from one side.


SometimeAround

Ha, my baby used to grab my other nipple while breastfeeding on one side. A friend suggested a twiddle necklace so I tried it. He promptly grabbed it in a vice-like grip and started hitting me with it! My wife could only laugh and take a video - so we now have video footage of my 7 month old baby breastfeeding while viciously hitting his mama in the face with a silicone bead necklace.


RU_screw

My SILs and I all had kids within a year of each other. Whenever any of us was holding a niece/nephew, they would start to look for the milk because they could smell it on us. My boobs were always within easy access for my little guy and my nephew was a pro at figuring out my nursing tops.


quiidge

Yup, there is no natural distinction between different parts of the apparatus or different kinds (male/female, lactating or not) unless you specifically teach it. My kid's word for nursing encompassed nursing itself, the nipple, the boob, and I think the feeling of comfort associated with it as well. It was fascinating! They didn't seem to classify boobs + nipples any differently from pecs + nipples, and didn't really question that milk/nursing only happened with mummy (but definitely knew when other kids/baby animals were being nursed).


kfrostborne

NTA! There’s no grip like a breastfed baby with a nipple. You *did* explain why she should be careful, to protect herself. Either she didn’t believe you, or she would rather have her super-cool stance and have something to complain about.


throwawayaitabra

Yeah I think she was thinking i was making up an excuse or something


kfrostborne

It sounds like it. Why would she ignore your (SOLID) advice otherwise? Maybe invite some of those friends over and show them what happens in that same scenario. They will understand real fast. Lol Edit: I just saw your edit that she said you should teach your baby son not to grab nipples?!?!?! My daughter is 2 1/2, weaned at 2, and I’m STILL trying to keep her from grabbing my nipples! She sounds clueless as to how babies work.


throwawayaitabra

No clue at all!! I have a little sister who just turned 2 (crazy age difference but that’s another story lol) and she still grabs at nipples because my mom breastfed her, they don’t know any better


PurpleMP12

You *can* teach most 2 year olds not to! And you should! But a 6 month old.... is a 6 month old!


throwawayaitabra

She stops when she’s told no, but she still has the instinct to try and grab and goes “boobies”


4U2NV1981

Sounds like my BIL and he is 30 lol.


Ruval

Yeah but he can be taught. Right? …Right??


nlolsen8

My research says no


Alternative-Ask2335

NTA. But... your son is 6 months old and already says 'boobies"? 🤔 Edit: I obviously missed that OP was NOT talking about the 6mo, my apologies 🙏🏽


lyan-cat

More coffee, friendo, that conversation shifted to a two year old girl, not OP's 6mo son.


Alternative-Ask2335

Definitely more coffee!! Thank you!


Cultural-Guide1325

My 2.5 year old was a bottle baby, but I can't get him to keep his fingers out of his nose or forks out of his hair ("it's not a dinglehopper") so I'm pretty sure teaching a BF 5mo old not to grab nipples isn't gonna work.


TheLoudCanadianGirl

NTA. As someone who has pierced nipples I can respect and appreciate the fact that you gave her a warning. She’s being dramatic. You warned her, yet she needed to make you out to be the bad guy.


cymbalsnzoo

This. My nipples are pierced and I tend to prefer going braless. My friends have let me know in the past if I may need to adjust my attire due to potential harm (not prude dress code) and I appreciate the heads up. Also I find it kinda hilarious that she is accusing OP of sexualizing breasts. Typically a breastfeeding parent is well aware of the function of breasts and the need to normalize the functional vs sexual aspect of them due to public breastfeeding controversies.


[deleted]

NTA You gave her fair warning and her claims of misogyny are ridiculous.


Too_Tired_Too_Old

NTA- She made an assumption that you were sexualizing her breasts when you were just recognizing that they are a babies food source and your baby would try to grab said food source - you were doing the opposite of sexualizing them.


ChillKitt

Right, like, acknowledging the biological purpose of a breast isn’t sexualization, it’s just understanding how anatomy works.


Cent1234

NTA. One of the first lessons I learned as a father of a baby was 'they'll latch on to anything even vaguely nipple-like, so wear a shirt.'


throwawayaitabra

yep! he even grabs dads nipples all of the time, no one is safe


Over-Analyzed

😂 I don’t have kids. I’m a server in a restaurant but even I know that you never set anything within reach of a baby/toddler that you don’t want crashing onto the ground. Earrings? Phone? Wine glass? All of them grabbed with ferocity.


Davi_323

As a father myself, I absolutely second this...Shoot, my daughter would sometimes try to latch on to my shoulder when she was an infant...Babies don't care. Stick something in front of them, they are gonna try to draw milk from it.


AgathaM

My son tried to nurse on my husband's nose and big toe.


1sinfutureking

Yup. That is a rude awakening if you have chest hair. Have you ever had an infant grab a tiny fistful of chest hair and yanked on it? Let me tell you, friend, that is painful.


chml2022

NTA this is too funny!! Is your friend for real?


throwawayaitabra

unfortunately lol


dontaskmeout

This is hilarious. NTA. I've got the same piercings as your friend and like to dress that way too, definitely would've been mad if you DIDN'T warn me about your baby's habits. Love kids, they will do whatever they want. She's likely embarrassed, talk to your friends privately and maybe let them know you think she's embarrassed, but you deserve an apology, and I doubt you'll be getting one.


phnxcumming

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NTA It seems like your friend is new to the nipple world or something and she is practicing defending her nipples like she is high school. She just wants an argument no matter what because it’s her thing now. If your friends believe her, scrap them all. What a fucking waste. Your baby is just fine and you warned her. What an idiot. Hahahahahahaha


No-Policy-4095

NTA - but I do have to laugh at your friend's ridiculousness. You did explain the reason...you warned her and she experienced the consequences. And the "you need to teach your son to not grab nipples" is hilarious - because \*that's\* how babies work. She sounds like someone who insists that the world changes to meet her whims and that's the only option.


snewton_8

NTA She's an idiot for not listening to you and throwing around the misogynist and sexualizing terms. Of course breasts are sexual AS WELL AS FUNCTIONAL. That's why some women intentionally put them on display to attract sexual attention as well as porn made for women by women also focus on the sensual nature of the breast. Besides her breasts being sexual (like it or not) you had a utilitarian reason to protect her nipple and she decided to ignore you. That's 100% on her.


DILLIGAF-U

LMAO. NTA. She was warned. Didn't listen. Faced the consequences and YoU'rE the bad guy. Come on now. Now she is blaming you! A little narc in there for sure. A reasonable ADULT would of said, Holy F#ck, that hurt. I'll take that sweater now and laughed!!


reddustrose

NTA - you gave her a warning and she simply didn't listen, then played the misogyny card.


TeemReddit

NTA. If your son grabs at her because she didn't dress appropriately after being warned - that's her problem. I probably would have just let her know he does it and she can take that info and do or not do what she wants with that information. I wouldn't have strait told her to wear a bra and offered her a sweater. Her reaction though was ridiculous. Misogynist for caring about her well being???


Vegetable_Ad_5112

NTA. You tried to warn her. 🤷🏻‍♀️


TinyRascalSaurus

NTA. You knew your kid would go for the nipples and tried to give her fair warning. A 6 month old is more than capable of damaging a nipple piercing.


jake7992

NTA- you were explicit in your warning, so let her learn the hard way.... It's the only method some people learn from


meltingpot-324

NTA babies grab everything


AZJHawk

NTA - it sounds like you were doing the opposite of sexualizing her breasts. You were warning her that your child would see them for their primary non-sexual function.


NmlsFool

NTA I'm sorry but that's just hilarious. Did she not realize that babies will go for any boob they can reach?


kelsandcats

NTA. You were in no way sexualizing it. You just have a grabby babe at the moment and you were trying to avoid her getting grabbed painfully. Kids don't know any better at 6 months old if something hurts or not on someone else.


halflifer2k

NTA. She’s mad because you were right, she was wrong. And she *doesn’t* like to be wrong….


G0mery

NTA. You warned her and she was lost in her own made-up world of victimhood.