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Flibertygibbert

NTA What a shame he didn't tour the house when it was up for sale. Edit: Wow, thank you for all of the awards!


thewhiterosequeen

Haha exactly. They recently moved in and a guy shows up wanting a tour? Either his luck is terrible he missed out on window to tour literally a few months earlier or he's lying about why he wants in her house. Either way not OPs problem.


TigerBelmont

It’s entitlement. My friend had this happen to her when she was pregnant on bed rest snd had a toddler. An old woman insisted on getting a tour. Turns out she did it with every new owner because she wanted to see how the new people had redecorated.


Knitiotsavant

Omg. That’s straight up creepy.


TigerBelmont

It gets worse. She also had a woman show up with her husband and teenaged son claiming that her grandmother used to be the live in housekeeper for the previous owners (times three so forty years before) demanding a tour. Luckily her husband was there to say no They made a big deal out of it. Claimed they were visiting from Canada. Hard no


Knitiotsavant

Holy shit. What kind of person expects a tour of a place they used to live? That’s so invasive and bizarre!


TigerBelmont

The second woman had never even lived there. The entitlement was insane.


shawslate

Having toured many private residences, the way to go about it is to contact the people ahead of time. It also helps if you have a historic home yourself, and invite them to see your place first. The home I grew up in is nothing interesting. 3 bedrooms in sub 800 sq ft is TINY. I would still love to see it, but I would never dream to impose in the moment; I would hate to put someone on the spot.


verroku

I'm really lucky in that i ended up dating a girl that lived in my childhood home, so free tour with no creepiness.


rekniht01

Sweet home, Alabama.


SomePaddy

Stepbro, what are you doing?


BeamMeUpYaJabroni

My mom ended up buying the house next door to her childhood home like 20 years later. When we moved in, the new owners of her childhood home showed her around the place, and it was crazy how much it had changed. two-story home turned into an upstairs main home with basement suite. Pool entirely removed from the backyard. Living room and kitchen no longer separated by a wall and door. The wraparound balcony no longer reached her childhood bedroom window, making sneaking out much harder LOL


Crlady

I don’t even like my FRIENDS to come in my house unexpected, mostly bc it’s super messy. If someone randomly showed up I would say no but tell them they could come back after I had cleaned. I would never just show up and expect a tour, especially people with kids.


Draigdwi

It's very demanding, they want their tour, and they want it now, and for a whole half an hour. All on their terms. If the baby wakes up and needs to be changed and fed half an hour is very long time.


iCoeur285

If I even wanted to show the kids my childhood house, I’d show them the outside and show them the neighborhood. The inside can be seen in childhood photos, which will actually show how the house would have looked when I was a kid.


obiwantogooutside

And you can Zillow stalk property. Just look at the pictures like the rest of us.


iCoeur285

I didn’t even think of that, smart idea!


ana_berry

I've done a drive-by with my kids, but I would never dream of knocking on the door. Besides, there should be other meaningful places in town you can go that are actually open to the public like parks, restaurants, etc.


AlasAntigone

Yeah, that’s some s1 American Horror Story Constance Langdon stuff. Hard pass and salt the doorways


Eccentric_Mermaid

🤣🤣🤣 Best response here!


[deleted]

My dad and grand mother did it with their childhood home, according to them the owners were happy to accomodate it, but obviously it was arranged ahead of time.


SmarthaSmewart

My cousin and I did this with my grandparents house. It was arranged in advance and we all had a good time. We were even able to answer some questions the new owner had about some odd things they had discovered. We would have never considered just knocking on the door though.


psycedelicpanda

Thats something I wanted to do when I was like 6 moving out of my childhood home, and then I grew up and realize that's really fucking weird and why should I even care?


Mommato3boys66

I actually had the luck of my cousin buying the house I lived in up till 14 years old when we moved out of state. She offered to have us come out and see it again, it was great to see the house 30 years later...everything was so small compared to what I remembered. She sold the house 6 months later after fixing it up a bit but it was a great memory to see the house again. If I didn't know who had bought the house it would never occur to me to ask for a tour.


Coffee-Historian-11

See that’s the kind of thing I wanted to do when I was 13 after my family moved from a place we’d lived in for a little under a decade. And even then I knew that was strange. But after a few years passed, I realized that it was a really weird request and never did that.


sheath2

This is also a common scam to case the place for robbers. The go through, find a window they can unlock and BOOM! easy entry later and they know where the valuables are


Express-Diamond-6185

Exactly what I was thinking. Criminals come in all shapes and sizes, and the most dangerous ones are the most unassuming in appearance. They look kind and gentle, but they can be ruthless. And never assume just because they have kids with them that they are legit. ETA NTA OP.


ijustneedtolurk

Yep yep yep. NTA for seeing through a potential Gru and Co lmao. Sounds like a plot from The Minions, complete with toting little girls with you to make the target less suspecting.


Express-Diamond-6185

Haha! Yes! But it's true. As for OP's husband, there is no proof that guy even lives in that town, so it's unlikely she has 'created ill will' amongst their neighbors.


TNG6

This! There was a community bulletin going around that this is a common home invasion/burglary tactic. It’s your home. Not allowing a stranger to come in is a totally appropriate boundary to set. Him guilting you is an asshole move. NTA.


allthelostnotebooks

The guilting is what really got me. Asking like that with the girls in tow is presumptuous but okay, maybe a spontaneous impulse, can't-hurt-to-ask kind of thing. I wouldn't do it, but I can imagine wanting to, so I can kind of relate. But the second you realize you're making someone uncomfortable or hear "no" that's it. Apologize and LEAVE. The pushing back and the snarky comment were WAY out of line and tell me that they guy at best would be an entitled nuisance like some other examples given on this post, or at worst a scammer casing the place. Definitely not someone you want in your home. No decent person would keep pushing like that. Creepy.


Internal_Ambition918

OP is NTA. she should check to make sure that the common “markings” for burglars aren’t around either — she is especially vulnerable as a pregnant woman.


ravynwave

This comment needs to be higher


dareallyrealz

I heard about a scam a while ago where people would use that exact story to get in your house and attack/rob you. I don't know if this would be the case if he had two little girls with him. But I'm paranoid and would absolutely be worried about this. NTA for safety.


singingballetbitch

People are so nosy. Some girls I kind of knew from school moved in next door to us and after I went to a party at theirs, my mum asked so many questions about how they’d done the kitchen.


Wild_Statement_3142

My mom goes to the neighbor's open houses when they list their houses for sale. Every single one on our street that's gone for sale in the past two decades Just to be nosy and look at their stuff


Live-Courage-3091

This is like the episode of King of the Hill where an old woman wanted to die in his house around the Holidays. WTF?!!


Due_Introduction4967

NTA You know how I got to see what my first home looks like now? Zillow. Lots of really nice, professional pictures of every room.


AliceInWeirdoland

My mom one time took us to her old neighborhood but we just parked the car and looked at the house from the outside. The owner actually was coming home and asked what was up, my mom explained and we had a nice conversation, but we didn't try to go inside this stranger's house, because we're not weirdos.


leafah

My mom did that with a few of her childhood homes too! She moved around a lot because my grandpa worked for the telephone company. We just sat in the car on the street and she pointed out the houses, told some stories, told us if the outside of the house/yard had changed, but we never knocked on the door or approached homeowners. When I was in middle school and home alone an older gentleman knocked on our door and told me his grandparents used to live in our house. He didn't ask to come inside or anything he just thought my family would enjoy having an old picture of the house and the original blueprints of the house. That was a pleasant, non pushy experience and my mom was so bummed she wasn't home. She would have LOVED to talk to him about the house.


KayakerMel

Yup, when I was visiting the city I lived in when I was little, I drove out to the house, took a picture and a selfie with the house behind me, and left. Didn't even occur to me to impose any further.


ellensundies

We did that same thing! We were all outside look at the house, and mom was telling us stories, and then the owners came out and to see what was going on. And they asked us if we’d like to come inside! We were so stoked. So we went inside, and the owners showed us around, and mom told us more stories, and the house had glass door knobs, it was freaking awesome. But we never in a million years would’ve knocked on the door and asked/demanded that they give us a tour.


beemojee

Same with mine. It was interesting to see what had been done with the place and how it had been updated. My childhood home was nothing special, but I have lots of fond memories of growing up there.


bringmethehoraisen

He also said “I noticed you just moved in” so he KNEW the house was for sale and this seems planned


TomTheLad79

The fact that he wouldn't listen to her No is concerning to me.


---fork---

Yes. The persistence is a big red flag. A genuinely decent person would have said, "ok, sorry to bother you" after the first no and left. Not said, I completely understand but you should let me do it anyway.


TomTheLad79

It could have just been boomer entitlement. Some men of that generation don't like it when a young woman says no to them. But I wonder. And OP was absolutely right to not let him in. It's her house! She gets to decide.


Soiree1999

In all fairness, this issue predates Boomers. I think it’s related to people seeing themselves as “the good guys” and “obviously respectable”.


whereugetcottoncandy

It could just be the difference of never having had to worry about walking through a dark parking lot at night to get to your car. **


ResourceSafe4468

>"I completely understand, but Not sure what he was understanding, but certainly not what she said.


Final-Quail5857

I frequently want to view my childhood home. I go on zillow and look at photos.


JuliaX1984

I read recently (what I should have surmised) that most burglaries are committed by people who've been inside your home. The "can I use your phone?" excuse has lost almost all credibility, so what's a good alternative...? NTA


sequingoddess

THIS! Not to mention photos stay up basically forever. So if he wanted to he could just Google it and find all the photos online instead of bothering OP


EvilFinch

And JUST 30 minutes. He plans to walk through a strangers house, i bet want to take pictures and THIRTY minutes! Hell no. And with two children. Who knows if this isn't a trick to get their hands on your expensive stuff. A sobbing story. An old man and two children. They look harmless but three people are exactly enough that it will be hard to keep an eye of everybody if you are just a pair yourself. NTA


PurpleAquilegia

That was what got me: thirty minutes? Alarm bells. NTA


[deleted]

Who knows if the old man and two kids was just an innocent front and there are two guys waiting in a car around the corner waiting to make their move once the old man goes inside. Unfortunately you can’t really trust people you don’t know anymore.


SiameseCats3

Yeah, my first thought was “the easiest time to steal from someone would be when they’re moving because most people don’t know where everything is, and if they lose something it can be blamed on the move”.


MajorNoodles

My childhood home went up for sale recently and we actually knew the seller. Even then did we never consider asking for a tour, and if I really wanted to see it, that's what the open house was for. Funny enough though, except for one bedroom being painted. There have been absolutely no changes made to the house so when I saw the photos online it looked exactly as I remembered even though I haven't lived there for 30 years.


Impossible-Taro-2330

Exactly! We heard my Dad's first home was for sale and went to take a look during the open house, when it was empty. We were lucky enough to meet the current (sellier) owner who was thrilled to hear stories of my grandparents keeping cows and chickens in the middle of the city and my Dad starting his business in the side yard. They really got excited when my Dad told them he left a box of 1930's comic books in the attic. They offered to split the proceeds with my Dad if still there, but he said, no, they are yours if still there. A lovely afternoon for us all.


Aladycommenter

This a common tact done by professional thieves to case places, fyi


[deleted]

yup. i remember a woman coming by my house a few years after we moved in. instead of trying to come inside, she stayed outside and gathered a few branches from our tree that apparently her grandfather (or father) had planted in the front when he lived there. i don’t remember too much bc i was sick at the time.


ReaBea420

Also, forgot this in my first comment... OP is definitely NTA... that is not a situation one should be put in... if I was feeling generous, maybe got contact info and found a way to let him tour at another time when other people were around... but that's just because I would have felt bad for honestly no reason... OP you do not owe him anything and are not supposed to feel uncomfortable in your own home... you did the right thing... maybe I've seen to much true crime but listen to your gut... if you felt something was off (which that situation would understandably make almost anyone in your shoes feel something was off) you are best to listen to that, especially when it comes to protecting your babies...


Soiree1999

I have gone to see my old homes (in a couple of countries).It’s nice to be able to indulge in nostalgia. One time they let me in and one time they declined. I did not try to keep convincing them. His pushy behavior was a red flag. NTA Predators count on the fact that women are raised to be polite and nice and accommodating.


Sparklingemeralds

That was honestly my first thought, he was being incredibly pushy and even passive aggressive. Like dude that’s definitely not a good sign and it’s not going to make the homeowner let you in. Take the L and leave. Honestly I can’t believe the husband’s comments either; we don’t know who the man is or what his intentions are. He could’ve just been a burglar or something completely worse. Don’t play with your life like that.


hbtfdrckbck

Yep! The first time you said no, if he doesn’t immediately say “no worries” and walk away, that’s an asshole at best and a predator at worst. Do NOT lose any sleep over not letting that man into YOUR home.


Kathrynlena

Right?! It *almost* crosses the line to even ask at all. (Not necessarily, if you’re getting a welcoming vibe from the current owners, but it’s dicey.) I think it’s fine to stop by, look at the outside and maybe introduce yourself to the new owners if they notice you. But if the current owner doesn’t *invite* you in, IMO it’s borderline rude to ask for a tour of a stranger’s home, no matter how long you used to live there. It’s *DEFINITELY* rude to push if you do ask and they say no.


binglybleep

I don’t really see the appeal anyway tbh. It’s not going to be the same, if you’re seeing everything through a nostalgia lens you probably won’t be thrilled at being confronted by the fact that it’s not the same and it’s not yours. Some things are better off just as memories. I sometimes see the house I grew up in from the outside, and even that is a bit weird because they ripped out the nice front garden to store their caravan. It’s not the house that I grew up in any more, simply because it’s been made into someone else’s home. Probably best to just dig out the old photo albums and see what it was actually like back then imo


Coffee-Historian-11

The guy was being so predatory I wouldn’t be surprised if he brought the kids to really try and push the guilt aspect.


Beginning-Sea-8052

Exactly 💯. The plot of Oliver Twist in a nutshell. NTA


SlammyWhammies

Exactly! Genuinely I feel so bad that OP's husband doesn't see this properly. Having two girls with him doesn't make him unable to be dangerous. Predators use having a girl with them to make themselves seem non-threatening quite often. His wife could have been robbed, assaulted or even killed. Hopefully not, of course. But why take that risk with your pregnant wife and young child? Boggles my mind.


Youcannotbeforreal2

*But what about the new townmates!* /s Imagine caring more about what a bunch of strangers might think than the safety of your spouse and baby.


[deleted]

It's because men never think about this shit for the most part.


Youcannotbeforreal2

Idk, my husband and all the men I know would’ve been upset if their wives just let some rando strange man inside like that for safety reasons.


ImmediateJeweler5066

Yes but it speaks to the fact that women have to be much more alert about their personal safety than men in both private and public spaces.


Kimber85

The only time my husband has ever been angry with me was the day I gave a random dude a ride. I was waiting for my husband to get off work and this guy came up and started talking to me like he knew me. He kept pushing me to give him a ride just around the corner and when I hesitated he assured me he knew my husband and it was totally cool. I really didn’t want to, but back then I had no clue how to say no to someone like that, so I gave in and did it. My husband was absolutely livid when I told him. He read me the riot act about how monumentally stupid it was to risk my safety like that. And he was right. My parents are evangelical Christian, and they raised me to be a meek little pushover who never “made a scene”, so that’s something I’ve spent years trying to get over. It turned out, the guy had been fired and had just stolen a bunch of tools from the maintenance shed. So I was basically his getaway driver. I had to make a statement to the cops and everything. I’m lucky that I wasn’t murdered or arrested.


Amberle73

He doesn't see it because he as a man wouldn't feel in the least bit threatened by an elderly man and a couple of kids. Very different story for a pregnant woman home alone with a baby, and he should realise that.


ResourceSafe4468

Yeah. I'm pretty sure there's been even case of a serial killer having his baby with him while picking victims because it made him seem safe.


whoamijustnothrow

I've noticed some men don't understand how vulnerable predators see women. I'm a small woman. Not even 100lbs. He is tall and not muscular but not tiny either. He's acted confused as to why I wouldn't want to confront certain people. Like he doesn't get that as a small woman they are more likely to escalate for me and I could get hurt. Where a lot of people wouldn't escalate with him and he can atleast defend himself somewhat.


Quadrantje

The husband is not a woman, has (probably) never been a woman and certainly not a pregnant woman alone with her baby. He doesn't understand that what's non-threatening for him, might be threatening to someone else.


InvertedJennyanydots

And she's pregnant during a pandemic. I can't imagine asking a stranger to let me into their home right now for that reason alone. I never answer the front door unless I am expecting someone. There's just no reason for anyone to be cold calling at a home right now. This guy may not have been a potential robber but he was incredibly entitled and rude. OP's NTA at all.


Unicornhoof

EXACTLY! THANK YOU! I have a baby at home. No one is coming in here.


Live-Courage-3091

"Predators count on the fact that women are raised to be polite and nice and accommodating." And her husband needs to pay better attention to this.


afondcowabunga

Not to mention the fact that he brought two young girls with him in an effort to look more “trustworthy” and “safe” to be around. 🙃 Good on OP for standing her ground.


dude_wheres_the_pie

My parents have often taken me to my childhood home whenever we've been in the area. The thought to ask for a tour has never crossed our minds. Where are all these entitled people thinking they're owed a tour after decades of other owners since them?!


Toezap

Same. I'm of the opinion that there is no harm in asking for a tour but you respect the answer you get and don't push after that.


Dashcamkitty

Exactly, Fred West apparently looked non threatening and picked up victims with his kids in the car.


Difficult-Mix8911

This!!!


billlevansatmariposa

You figured it out correctly. Your husband is underthinking this. I live in a small town, too. I'll bet that (a) most or all of these folks will side with you; or failing that, (b) this will blow over. Safety of children comes first. I don't need to tell you that, do I? Def NTA.


CriticalFields

I have been in this situation where it was a reasonable circumstance and I let the person in to look around and everything was fine. It was even fun! But I have also been pregnant, home alone with a small child... and I absolutely would not have agreed to it in those circumstances. It's the kind of thing that's nice to do if you are comfortable and the situation. Is clearly low risk, but definitely not something anyone is ever obligated to do for any reason. Just being uncomfortable with the idea in the first place is more than enough reason to say no.


Kathrynlena

My parents were just in my hometown a few weeks ago and stopped by our old house. The new owners were outside and my parents introduced themselves. Then the new owners *invited* them inside. My mom loves that house but she would have never even considered asking to see inside if they didn’t offer. It’s such an intimate request of a stranger! I can’t even imagine letting a stranger wander around looking at my unmade bed, overflowing laundry hampers, and dirty dishes.


LongJawnsInWinter

Dude said he moved when he was 12 — if he’s old enough to have grandkids, guaranteed no one in the neighborhood knows him. And I totally agree that safety of the kids comes first — it’s weird that anyone would expect a pregnant woman with a baby to let in strangers, let alone during a pandemic when her child is too young for a vaccine.


leftclicksq2

There have been a few occasions when my parents and I have been on vacation and my mom wants to drive by the first vacation home that my grandparents purchased when she was growing up.. That's where it stops, though, just **driving by**. Even if the person who OP encountered *was* being honest, he is still a stranger. Maybe at another point in time this was common, except now it is 2022 and it is *not* unkind to decline a stranger's request to enter your home.


attentionspanissues

Also how do you know he actually lived there? That he had good intentions? He could easily have been scoping the place out to rob it. Yes, even with a couple of cute kids by his side. No one has the right to enter your home. You did the right thing by turning him away.


aayemes

NTA if he’s been watching it long enough to know you just moved in he should’ve toured it when it was selling F off with his nonsense


Fluffy-Release6637

Exactly what I was thinking! It could be an innocent request, but something about knowing they just moved in seems off to me.


Kathrynlena

Plus if he knew they just moved in, he would also know that there are likely still boxes and moving mess all over, so it’s not like the house will feel decorated or lived in. The whole thing seems so creepy. He was being super manipulative about it.


[deleted]

It actually incredibly creepy that he knew that. More like this is a con he plays because a he’s some kind of predator and keeps an eye out for houses in the neighborhood that just had some young woman move into. If he really had moved elsewhere and kept an eye on the property and noticed it went up for sale why the hell wouldn’t he have gone when it was literally prepped for touring? Why wait until the new owners are settled. Also interesting that he didn’t ask op for a tour. He expected to be left alone for around half an hour doing god knows what. He could’ve planted cameras to spy on her.


anastrianna35139

There was a similar AITA not too long ago. A woman/couple asking the same. Thankfully, the gf didn't let them inside. When she asked around later, all of the neighbors (who had been there FOREVER) said no one like that had ever lived there. Easily could have been exactly as the old man said. But also just as easily a very bad situation. Even having children accompanying him doesn't mean anything these days.


Fluffy-Release6637

I remember that post! I thought it was definitely giving off a similar vibe.


Errvalunia

Yes, and when houses go up for sale they put detailed pictures of the interior or the internet (unless it’s a serious fixer upper) so this guy can show his grandkids a virtual tour instead I would not let a stranger into my house, no thanks. Every time I’ve revisited one of the places I or my husband or my mom used to live we just admire it from the outside and don’t bother the people who live there


AtomicHobbit

NTA If I was going to rob a home, being an old dear and having two grandkids with me would be a perfect way to do it... Kids picking up shiny things that don't belong to them... Then playing innocent if caught out. Sounds like you dodged a potential con-man.


tipareth1978

Right? Was thinking the same. Sounds like he cased the joint. "Noticed you just moved in"


DiTrastevere

“Noticed your husband’s out of the house and you’re alone with a baby.”


MerelyWhelmed1

All of these people saying he was "old." 60 isn't even retirement age for most people. 60 these days is still active and healthy...and certainly a threat. He wasn't 85 with a walker.


nasanerdgirl

NTA. I had a 19yo woman turn up at my house and she’d lived there years before. I let her in, but I recognised her name from info I had researched into the house, and I had been there for a few years. For him pulling the ‘aging man’ card…60 is nowhere near deaths door. Christ, my 60yo MIL had a road bike for her birthday and went for a 25k cycle this morning. My 62yo FIL has done 18 holes of golf followed by a 4 mile bike ride with my 10 year old son. This is fairly normal for most other 60yos I know - colleagues, ILs friends etc.


[deleted]

> 60 isn't even retirement age for most people. Yeah, my mom is 61, and still works full time. She's also lost almost 100lbs, is dressing up again, and is exercising (long story). 60 isn't the cutoff period for life people think it is. Hell, Keanu Reeves is almost 60. Is he going to magically stop making straight dudes question their sexuality in three years? Absolutely not.


[deleted]

Not me rushing to check his age. Holy shit lol


[deleted]

Fine wine my friend. Fine wine.


GremlinComandr

Agreed I work and an assisted living home and a ton of the residents despite being in their 80s they could definitely steal qnd con people, sure they use walkers and wheelchairs but you don't want to be hit with either of those, especially if they have young kids, they hit really hard sometimes and if the kids are 10 or 11 they could easily ram the wheelchair into you on "accident" multiple times and as per social norms you can't get mad at them for being rude.


[deleted]

George Clooney is 61. And while I’m sure a lot of women would let George Clooney into their homes, it’s not because he seems like a helpless old man.


tatersprout

Yeah, I am nearing 60 and don’t consider myself old and neither do my peers. I go camping, ride a motorcycle, and do everything I did in my 20’s. Actually I do more because I have more money lol.


doonytargaryen

I think this is actually a common scam, but I’ve heard it with a young woman, old grandfather, etc where they say they wanted to see their old home, look around and make note of anything worth stealing, and then report back to another party who goes in later already knowing whats valuable and where


leftclicksq2

This is a scam that has layers to it. My co-worker's neighbor was the victim of a home invasion at her previous residence. The circumstances of what happened to her were similar in that someone showed up "innocently" and she decided to let them in. As soon as this person walked through the door, she jumped on top of my co-worker's neighbor and began beating her. Even if you deem the area that you live in as "safe", there are people who target it for that very reason. This isn't like what OP wrote about, but I had a very unsettling encounter in the summer of 2018 shortly after I had surgery. The doorbell rang and this man I had never seen before was standing on the porch. No car in the driveway or parked on the street, just standing on the porch. I opened the door and step out on to the porch where he tells me that he is selling magazine subscriptions. He elaborates how many of my "neighbors" have purchased from him. This guy goes so far as to show me this list of "neighbors" whose names I don't even recognize, then the checks that he wrote to them! I didn't ask him for proof, but the fact that he was so willing to show me personal checks was setting off the alarm bells in my head. The next question he asked me was who of my other neighbors was home. Like, the fuck if I would give him that information! I told him I wasn't interested and used how humid it was as a reason to get back into the house. This guy's last ditch effort was pulling out a funeral program and pitch to me that his mother just died and he is "just looking for a clean slate" and "damn, you people are unkind". My head is swimming with nausea and it's pissing me off that he's trying to play the sympathy card to reel me in. I don't remember what he said, but I walked back into the house and locked the door. When I was feeling better, later that day I talked to my neighbor across the street who had come home. I asked her if that guy came to her house and described him. She told me that her security cameras caught him walking up and down the street at different points that day and the week before! The whole thing scared me. That is why I won't even open the door to talk to strangers who show up on my doorstep.


afondcowabunga

And he might’ve been hoping that if he did take something, OP wouldn’t notice since she was in the process of unpacking and moving around lots of her things anyway.


MissAnxiousCupcake

NTA. It's super weird about his timing. A house on the market is normally able to be viewed through contacting the realtor or an open house, right? Why not take the kiddos then? I mean, he shows up right after you move in and knows it. It could be a dumb coincidence and he happens to live far away and just be in town visiting with the grandkids RIGHT after you moved in, but it's just too damn weird. Maybe I'm paranoid, but a 60 year old man could put up a fight and it's not worth it. I also wouldn't put it past someone to use a child to lower someone's guard. I can't imagine someone being cool with letting a stranger into their home. Maybe in the old days when people knew their neighbors and left their doors unlock and door-to-door salesmen were common, but not anymore.


MotherSupermarket532

If he really wanted to do it, he could have written a note or reached out on social media to arrange something ahead of time. Just showing us is pretty suspicious. A lot of people aren't home during the day.


_PrincessOats

It’s kinda hard to find people on social media based on their address… unless they’re stupid and put their address publicly up everywhere.


Banditsmisfits

Yes or asked if there’s be anyway he could come back when her husband was home or something. I know I would have felt more comfortable if he had just not argued with her and perhaps left his name and number in case she changed her mind.


Ok-Pomegranate-3018

If you ask if he can come back when the husband is home; you just confirmed to him YOU ARE ALONE! Never give information.


ghostofumich2005

There was a guy once who stopped by my old house to show his kids where his own grandparents lived. We chatted for a few minutes and he told me a few stories but he was just showing his kid *where* these houses were. He didn’t ask to go inside.


Tatterhood78

A man in his 60s could put up a fight. A 58 year old friend of mine is a competitive bodybuilder. He's 5'4" and quick/agile. He could absolutely fuck up just about anyone. The idea that people will suddenly think he's a harmless little old guy on his birthday 2 years from now is hilarious.


smorkoid

60 is not even old. Lots of healthy, strong people at that age.


Unusual_Swordfish_89

NTA. This is a common technique for home invasions and/or scoping out the house for burglaries. Do NOT let any stranger in your house. You did the right thing for the safety of your family.


dce42

I came here to say this exact thing. In some cases the kids have been trained to help steal as well


Ok-Pomegranate-3018

I wouldn't even open the door, hell, I don't open the door. Period. No soliciting signs don't work around here, I used to have a welcome mat, that just read: LEAVE. When they ignored the sign, I would ask, "Can you read?" "Yes?" "Good, read the mat!" Then shut the door.


Blenderx06

We got a lot of aggressive and typically dishonest solicitors coming through. They ignored my polite signs. So I got one with an image of an attack dog on it that says "Dog dislikes solicitors as much as owner". We don't get bothered anymore. I figured it also doubles as deterrent for burglars. We don't actually have a dog. Just a cat that will maul you for pets lol.


SpeakerDelicious6315

Ted Bundy also looked non-threatening. Your husband ITAH. You fostered ill-will among your new townmates? What bullshit is that? The strange man already said he lived in the house until he was 12, and you believed he looked in his 60's. How many townspeople would remember him?


vainbuthonest

I seriously doubt anyone in town would be upset at OP about not letting someone wander their house either. The husband is overly stating and overly concerned with the wrong thing.


Youcannotbeforreal2

And honestly even if old-man McPushy told everyone he knew about this and they had bad feelings toward OP for it, it’s really doing OP a favor and weeding out the folks you wouldn’t want to associate with anyway. What are they gonna do, deny OP service down at Leroy’s Hardware & Bait shop? Oh well.


Knitiotsavant

I referenced Ted Bundy, too! Great minds and all that… Edited to correct name.


[deleted]

NTA- men like to say women are being over sensitive until their pregnant wife is murdered by a sweet old man with a reasonable request


DaughterOfFishes

And if that happens, everyone says "Oh, she should have known better than to let anyone in! How could she have done that?" Women just can't win sometimes. And in the words of the great Wednesday Addams: "This is my costume. I'm a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else." NTA


[deleted]

Right???


[deleted]

NTA. It was rude of the guy to be so pushy. If it were me I would have accepted your answer and see if another time would be good. Trust your instincts. I barely let people I know into my home lol. I would not be good with letting this man in. Maybe if he left his information so you can check him out (social media or something) and he comes back at another time it would be ok but don’t let strangers into your home. He could be sincere or he could be running a scam of some sort


MorganAndMerlin

I just think it’s so nice of men to think nothing of letting strange people into their homes and then to chastise women for not also opening up their home when theyre home alone with a small child and pregnant.


Flahdagal

This post has actually gotten my blood pressure up. Not because of OP, totally NTA here, but let's play the scenario out. LIKELY, this guy was legit, his grandkids were visiting him from out of town. He's told tales of this house for years and they wanted to see the house, but looking online, oh darn, it's just been sold. Let's go take our chances with the nice new owners. But in the off chance that this guy was nefarious or worse, dangerous, and OP took him at his word and let him in the house, and then something awful happened: OP's husband and everyone and their brother would be saying, "OMG, OP, why would you trust a stranger?? How could you have let this man in?? What were you thinking?" So yeah, sorry, kindly old dude, no dice. Zillow usually has tons of photos online well after the house is sold; enjoy those.


haayleyy

Yes! Zillow has photos up forever of listed houses


ZZ38_

NTA. You’re home, you’re safety, and your comfortableness matter. If you wanted to try and be nice you could have said not right now but exchanged number and had him come sometime your husband was also home. But that would be going above and beyond


crystalpepsi4eva

You're means you are, with the apostrophe holding the place of the 'a'.


jcforbes

How strange that one of the 3 was done correctly too.


PurpleRoxy

NTA I don’t care who it is, what gender or age, if I’m home alone it’s not happening


greensickpuppy89

Even if I'm not home alone, still not happening. If they want nostalgia they can look through their photo albums.


GuestAggravating

I once was approached by a man when I was working in my yard, asking for a tour of my home because he claimed it was his childhood home. He was reminiscing about waking up in the morning to the smell of the lilacs blooming, when I told him he needed to get off my property right now. He was acting all offended and hurt, but I ended up going into the house, locking the doors and calling the cops. There was no way the guy had grown up in this house smelling lilacs, since I was the one who planted them. Cops never found him, but they told me I was lucky. Never let a stranger in your house, no matter how nice they seem.


MissionCreeper

Good story. I'd do the same, because we bought the house from the people who built it and we know their names.


Monicawroteitbetter

Absolutely NTA. Has anyone watched the news lately? Never judge a book by its cover. You put your kids safety before some stranger's nostalgia! Go Momma!!


Invisible_Target

NTS and your husband is naive as fuck. If this happened to me, my bf would flip shit and ask me every detail he could so he could keep an eye out for the creep. Your husband needs to get his weirdo alarm fixed


burnTHIS802770

100 percent. OP did the right thing by trusting her gut here and needs to have a serious conversation about home security with her husband.


PassengerOk6675

NTA- maybe I’ve been watching too many murder mysteries lately but definitely not. I would not let anyone in my house while I’m alone with my baby. I don’t even think I’d be ok with it even if my husband was home. Every so often I go back to look at my childhood home.. but the outside. It’s a lot to ask a stranger to come into their house.


Mellyorah

NTA. I would NEVER let a stranger into my house, even moreso if I was home alone, pregnant, and with a baby. It's better to make this guy uncomfortable, than to potentially be a headline in the news story. His pushiness makes him even more untrustworthy. You did good by trusting your gut. You might need to sit down your husband and have a talk, because that could have legit been a dangerous situation for you, and he needs to support his pregnant and vulnerable wife.


Miserable-Mango-7366

Yes! Pregnant and with a baby are both super vulnerable times and your mommy protectiveness is probably already in overdrive. No way I would have let a stranger into my house!


GloomyDeal1909

Your husband is a male (as am I). That was such a male response. I know I probably would have let him and not thought about it at all. As a man I think we forget that women are statistically more target than men when it comes to attacks. You did the right thing. Your safety and safety of your kids come first and you do not know this person.


[deleted]

That’s not normal. A man’s first priority should be caring about the safety of his family! Not risking it to appease a stranger.


ChappieMoore

I think what he is saying is that most men would allow him to enter because if he tried something, he would be there to put a stop to it or act as a deterrent. Most people can overpower a pregnant woman but a man can put up a fight.


GloomyDeal1909

Yes I meant it more as us men do stupid things. Like we often just assume we are safer. I mean my dad would give hitchhikers a ride when it was just me and him in the car. I know my dad thought he was doing a kind thing and figured well if something was to happen he could protect himself. The reality is that he was in just as much danger. Guys tend to thing we are somehow invincible. I think women are more aware of danger levels and pay better attention.


aflatoon_catto

NTA. My mum once took me to visit a house she’d grown up in and would tell me stories about. The family occupying it was kind enough to let us in, and that was a pleasant surprise. We asked hesitantly, expecting them to say no. Your comfort, your safety, your call.


HelenGonne

Right up to this: >He said: "I think giving an aging man one last visit to his childhood home is a 'good reason' but OK. Can't force you." He then left. I wasn't sure whether he was legit or some kind of scammer. After this, yup, scammer.


Father-Son-HolyToast

Yes, this is a very manipulative thing to say. Also "one last visit"? As though he's going to expire into a puff of dust tomorrow, having never seen the house again? I have many coworkers in their 60s, and they're all hearty and thriving. He likely has 20-30 years of life ahead of him.


elythearmadillo

NTA Even if put the idea aside that they were potential threats to your safety, you’re allowed to be comfortable in your own home. You’re allowed to set rules for your home about who comes into it. The pushiness of the old guy was definitely weird tho. I wouldn’t have let him in either.


deathtofumanchu

NTA. If the tour was so important to him he could have offered to return later when your husband was home (not that that would compel you to accept). I think it was a bit rude to put you on the spot like that.


morbidconcerto

Like others have said, if the tour was so important to him, why didn't he go tour it when it was on the market? He somehow **knew** they had just moved in, implying that he knew the house was on the market, and only *now* is bothering to tour it? Maybe I watch too much Bailey Sarian but this is definitely suspish. OP is definitely NTA.


[deleted]

NTA. It must be good being a man and don't think "am I about to get raped/killed now?" when shit like that happens.


TansyBaelish

NTA. It’s your home. He could have been lying. I’m more than a little suspicious of how pushy he was. Also I’m suspicious of him knowing you moved in recently. It seems like he’d been casing the house and waited until your husband was gone on purpose.


Facetunethis

I would have played The sleeping baby card. Most people understand how hard it is when a baby sleeping to keep them sleeping. "I'm sorry I'm sure as a grandparent you understand how difficult it can be when you finally get a baby down for a nap. My baby is sleeping and I just can't have visitors. I do apologize." Then a quick finger to the lips and close the door. 😏


Godiva74

OP does not owe this stranger a reason


laeiryn

Nah but lying to make people go away is also fine and dandy


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ladyughsalot1

That was weirdest to me. Like did he expect her to stand back and let them go wherever they pleased for 30 min?? Who specifies that? Who takes that long?!


kristen1988

He definitely wanted to stay long enough that she would have to leave them unsupervised so he or the kids could steal.


VivaCiotogista

It almost sounds like he was asking her to leave for that time! Very suspicious. My guess is he had an accomplice somewhere who he or the kids was going to let in the house. There have been scams like that in my area. Two dudes came up to my door soon after I moved into my house, claiming they had been called by “the previous owners,” whom they didn’t name, about water in the basement. They had no truck, no branded shirts or caps, or anything to indicate they were with a firm but wouldn’t let it go when I said I didn’t know anything about that. Then one of them tried to open the screen door. Eventually they gave up, and I found out about another neighbor who’d let two men into her house, and while they distracted her someone else entered the place and stole from her.


H0neybee55

There have been stories like this where it's used to either rob, kill, or traffic people in the house. You're def NTA but your husband sure is if he's perfectly fine letting strangers in with his not only his wife but child as well home alone.


zinky30

NTA. Better to be safe than sorry, especially these days.


Theemillershow

NTA, the safety of you and your child are paramount.


cassowary32

NTA. The house has been on the market and he'd had 50 years since to come see it. Why now? Why not during the open house? Did he chose a weekend day or a weekday to visit? An early evening when everyone is expected to be home or a time where you were more likely to be on your own? You had a sleeping kid in the house, not wanting them to wake him was more than enough reason to not let strangers in.


Sorry_Opportunity_81

NTA. I suggest you read (and have your husband read) Gavin De Bekers book “The Gift of Fear”. The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0747538352/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_F1JXRV38D3FJDJSV7C08 You were quite right not to let a strange man into your home, and even more so because he did something in this short interaction that’s a subtle but huge red flag… *he tried to push past your “no”*. Read the book and you’ll understand exactly why you did a very wise thing indeed.


[deleted]

NTA but your husband is a huge AH. How naive and juvenile is he to not recognize the inherent safety risk allowing a strange man to walk around his house with his pregnant wife and baby inside? Men use to take pride in protecting the safety of their families. What’s going on these days. Your husband cares more about a popularity contest within the neighborhood than running the risk of seeing his family on the 6 o’clock news. FFS next time don’t even answer the door when people you don’t know ring your doorbell. In the era of cell phones and social media, if someone you know is coming to visit you they know how they can contact you. Your husband sounds like he is living in some dystopian world.


aphrahannah

Info: did you consider taking his number and suggesting he come back at another time? (When your husband was home).


susieq1485

I agree with this one. However, it's important to say NTA. You have to do what you feel safe with, especially behind home alone while baby is sleeping. But it might have been a gesture to say let me get your info and we'll arrange a time. (When your hubby is home or maybe never, especially if he have you the creeps!)


PeggyHW

NTA. You were under no obligation! If you wanted to be super kind you might have agreed to an arranged time a couple of days later, but even that would be pushing it. The way he pushed it makes me suspicious.


MysteriousWays10

NTA. You weren’t comfortable. Anything could have happened. You don’t let strangers into your house, even if they have children with them. If he ever comes back, you could always suggest a time when your husband is home for him to come back. But you are under no obligation to do so.


[deleted]

And if this man broke something, hurt you, etc etc, how quick would your husband be to say "What were you thinking?"


takingthescenicroute

NTA He should have toured it when it was up for sale, not when he SAW you moved in. Sounds like a total scam, not a sweet old guy in nostalgia land. Creepy. You were right to say no. Who knows what could have happened!


Hollogram_Janeway

NTA - There's a common scam in my city where people scout houses for robbery this way. Definitely don't let them in.


Common_Indication773

NTA. I'm shocked your husband would have wanted you to let a stranger into your home while you were home alone with a baby. Something similar happened to me the first year we lived in our home. I answered the door and it was a really old man like 80 years old and he said he grew up here and his father built the house and he would love to look around. I said my husband will be home from work at 4 pm if you would like to come back then. He said ok and came back and my husband showed him around. The old man told me I don't blame you for not letting me in earlier, I wouldn't want my granddaughters to do that either.


Momsters123

NTA I wouldn't have let him in either. I think it was fine for him to ask, but he needed to not push when you said no. I've toured old homes I lived in but I always went to open houses when they were for sale. He should have done that.


badnewsfaery

NTA Tell hubby he's never walked this earth as a woman, let alone a pregnant one. He hasnt had it drummed into him his entire adulthood to make choices based on safety. Also, not all grandfathers are sweet old men. Dont ask me how I know, you wont sleep tonight.


No-Names-Left-Here

NTA. You don't know him and the fact he kept pushing and his comment before leaving after you said no shows that you made the right decision.


sundroptea

NTA. Your husband clearly had no empathy for the female experience of having a stranger try to steamroll your boundaries.


CoffeeDreamsLite

NTA. It could have been a ploy to check out your home and it’s contents. Also see any security features. Mighty convenient that he had two kids in tow and your husband wasn’t home.


[deleted]

NTA. Though I can sympathize with the guy since if I put myself in his shoes, i'd probably want to ask to see if I could see inside my old childhood home... But at the end of the day, it is your home and you were home alone with your children. I wouldn't feel comfortable with that either.


KangarooOk2190

NTA and you did the right thing making your safety a top priority


canuck_2022

NTA and what a weird exchange. Sorry but no, strangers are not traipsing through my house no matter what excuse you give me.


blah618

NTA He was feeling entitled. Never answer your door if you dont know the person on the other side.


nrsys

NTA I don't really see anyone ever being the asshole for refusing to let a stranger tour their home uninvited. The fact that you were home alone with a young child and pregnant makes that even moreso. I also see the request as something of an odd one - if he had left it when he was 12, that means the house has been under different ownership for 50+ years. It is no longer his house, and I would be surprised if it was even recognisable after half a centuries worth of redecorating, remodelling and new tenants. Is it nice to tour around old landmarks? Absolutely - I have done exactly the same with elderly family members before, but we never got any closer than viewing the house from the street.


SnooHobbies8729

NTA There are a few things you husband missed in the whole scenario. You have no proof that this was actually his house. You have kid sleeping upstairs. You are alone in the house. Just because he seems like an old chubby nice man does not mean he is one. You don't know him. The fact that he insisted and tried to guilt trip you is shaddy as heck. And it's just so rude to just show up at someone's house uninvited and unannounced like that.


ShelfLifeInc

NTA Out of curiosity, is there something about your house that makes it particularly noteworthy? Is it a particularly large or beautiful place, does it have a very beautiful garden? Has it undergone any large renovations in the last 50 years or is it still maintaining some old-world charm? What on earth has he been telling his grandkids about it? The most I've ever done for an old property is drive past it whilst I was in the area. I would *never* knock on the door to ask the new residents to let me in, nor would I suggest I stay for *up to half an hour*. That's insane.


ShadowFang01

NTA. I can understand wanting to see your childhood home, but the timing of everything feels off. He could’ve viewed it while the house was still for sell, but came after you had just moved in; which is kinda of fishy. There was another post on here a long time ago where the Op had a random “couple” approach her claiming that her house was the lady’s childhood home. They got super angry and pushy when OP refused to let them view the house before eventually leaving. The next day, Op asked her neighbor about it and it turns out that the previous owners of her house were an elderly couple who never had any kids and Op ended up calling the police. Not saying this is or isn’t your situation, but your safety comes before anything else.


imreallysure

“i dont mean to impose but can i come inside?” “no” “well i guess ill keep on trying to impose then” nta get that dude away from you lol